Archive of Our Own ^beta

Harvey doesn’t think anything by it, the first time Mike asks to handle a case.

He barely looks up when he breezes into his office and announces, “I heard the firm’s doing a pro bono for a lesbian couple.”

“Yeah? So?”

“I want to do it.”

Harvey lifts an eyebrow. He hasn’t heard about the case or what’s so special about it that Mike asks for it, but if he wants to burden himself with more work, who is he to deny him?

“You’ll have to ask Jessica.”

“I did. She told me to clear it with you. So, do I have your okay?”

He’s practically brimming with eagerness, but since Mike has always been all about the underdogs, Harvey just shrugs it off.

“As long as you’re getting all my work done first,” he dismisses him.

Mike’s face lights up. “Great! Thanks, Harvey.”

It’s ridiculous how excited he is about the extra hours. Well, each to their own, Harvey thinks and returns to his file, promptly forgetting all about the incident.

But then Mike starts bringing in his own pro bonos.

“You don’t mind, do you?” he asks the first time he puts the idea forward to Harvey, waving the folder in front of him so fast that he couldn’t possibly catch what it says. “It’s just a small case, I’ll get it done in between the others.”

“Fine. Just take care of the settlement first,” Harvey agrees, biting his lip to keep himself from smiling when Mike starts beaming triumphantly. No reason to encourage him further, after all.

Not that he needs encouragement to go on.

Harvey isn’t quite sure why he keeps agreeing to Mike’s whims. He likes playing the hardass boss, but for some reason he likes the sight of that particular smile on Mike’s face whenever he lets him do as he wants more.

Not that he’d ever admit it.

The second time, Mike convinces him by pointing out how good pro bono work is for the firm’s reputation, which isn’t something Harvey can argue with. And really, if Mike wants to burden himself with all these extra hours and still gets his actual work done in time, there’s no reason not to let him have those cases.

Harvey isn’t all that interested in them, granted, but as he skims the file when he’s got a minute to spare, he can’t help but notice that it’s about a gay couple again. It’s probably just a coincidence.

The third time it happens, he begins to wonder.

“Where do you keep finding these?” he asks when Mike brings him a file with an almost sheepish look, though his shoulders are straightened with determination.

“It’s just some old friend,” Mike explains vaguely.

Of course. It’s always a friend, or a friend of a friend, or someone he used to know, or a case he heard about from another firm that refused to take it and promptly decided to adopt.

“Right.”

Mike frowns. “Is that a problem?”

“No. I’m just saying, there seems to be an unusually high percentage of gay people in your environment.”

“Well, yeah,” Mike says, looking at him like he just noted that he has two hands or that Mike is a fraud. “I mean, obviously.” He pauses. “You know I’m gay, right?”

Harvey blinks. He did not know that.

“I do now,” he says slowly.

“Seriously?” Mike snorts. “How? I thought that was common knowledge around here by now. I'm like, so gay, dude.”

Harvey blinks again.

“Don’t call me dude,” he says automatically, though his mind is elsewhere.

Common knowledge? This is the first he’s hearing about this. Harvey doesn’t pay overly much attention to the gossip floating around the firm, but he’s usually up to date.

It seems that Pearson Hardman’s rumor mill has failed him. Of course, the one time it doesn’t work is the one time he’s… not entirely uninterested in the topic.

“That’s… not a problem either, is it?” Mike asks hesitantly, suddenly looking unsure, and Harvey only then becomes aware of the stretching silence.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he says at once. “Of course it isn’t, and if anyone ever makes it one for you, you come straight to me, you got it?”

Mike’s shoulders slump in relief. “I can take care of myself, but thank you anyway. I appreciate the thought.”

Harvey nods. He opens his mouth, hesitates, then changes his mind. “Go do your pro bono,” is all he says, the smile mirroring Mike’s slipping from his face as soon as he turns around.

He doesn’t notice how long he’s staring after him until Donna returns to her desk, piercing him with a glance that quickly has him averting his eyes.

So Mike is gay. No big deal.

Only that Harvey, for some unfathomable reason, can’t stop thinking about it.

He doesn’t spend every minute mulling it over, or lying awake at night pondering the fact – not regularly, anyway – but there’s an undeniable tendency of his thoughts to turn to that direction, often at the most inconvenient times.

It’s probably only because Mike keeps bringing it up.

Now that Harvey knows, he has no idea how it passed him by before.

Because Mike isn’t just gay, he is very openly gay, constantly flirting with guys in a way Harvey only now understands isn’t entirely in jest, looking after handsome clients with a dreamy sigh, and also saying things like, “Man, I’m so gay” to himself at least once a week.

That should have been a clue, really.

“If you wanted to get his number, you could have asked for it,” Harvey remarks, an amused smile playing on his lips as he watches Mike stare after the lawyer they just met with.

Mike snorts. “And risk the case if he turned me down? Yeah, no, I’m not that horny. I’m a fraud, but I’m still a professional.”

“Really? Since when?”

Mike throws him a look, but Harvey sees his barely hidden grin when he retorts, “When are you going to realize you can’t make jokes about my lawyering skills when you’re the one who hired me?”

“The fact that you’re calling them ‘lawyering skills’ alone is enough to convince me that I should never stop making jokes about them.”

Mike shakes his head, grinning, and Harvey takes in the glint in his eyes and hears himself chuckling without quite meaning to, and the warmth pooling in his belly when Mike joins in stubbornly persists.

Alright.

Possibly it’s also because of the tiny, miniscule, insignificant crush he’s developing on the man.

So maybe Harvey isn’t entirely straight either. Maybe he’s definitely fully bisexual, despite rarely acting on it and never saying it and kind of just ignoring it for the most part.

He is. Bisexual.

The word still feels foreign on his tongue. It feels foreign even when he only says it in his head.

It’s not something many people know about him. He never had a relationship with a man, and so he never deemed it necessary to do the big pompous coming out thing. Not when it would have brought more troubles with it than he can count on both hands.

He’s not that much older than Mike, but a few years can make all the difference. He comes from a different time, when awareness of other orientations was still overshadowed by the mockery or contempt of those who didn’t understand them, when the concept of being proud was only just being established and met with disdain by most.

Harvey heard some shit in his time. Never directed at his own sexuality, never targeting him specifically, but he heard it nevertheless, and so it happened that not coming out was just more convenient.

He never much thought about it. Never had to. It was easier not to, and really, why should he have wasted his time pondering scenarios that may never happen when there were so many more important things to focus on?

He did wonder, sometimes. When he couldn’t sleep or the eyes of some man at the bar lingered on his a second too long to be incidental. When he came home after making out with a guy in a dark corner and asked himself why he’d deemed it a lost cause before it ever had the chance to become something other than a casual fling.

He wondered, but he never got anywhere with it, the tight feeling in his stomach too foreboding to examine any closer, and in time he turned his thoughts to other, more urgent matters.

He never repressed that side of himself, not actively. And he likes to think that if it had ever come to it, if he’d met the right person and it happened to be a man, he would have stood up and told all the world, never mind the consequences. It just never did, and for years, Harvey was perfectly happy with the way things were.

Looking at Mike now, living his identity out loud without shame or any regard for those who could have something to say about it, he can’t help but feel like a coward.

Harvey may not have repressed his attraction to men, but he still chose to hide behind the womanizer persona he had acquired. He chose to let opportunities go by and sit back instead of chasing them, trying things out and seeing where it would lead.

Because there were men he would have liked to get to know better. There were men he could have seen himself dating. Being happy with. There were so many times he could have stood up for the community he never quite considered himself to be part of, but still is. To admit to this side of himself, openly.

He’s not ashamed of it. He isn’t. But in hindsight, it sure as hell looks like it.

Maybe, if things had been more like they are today back then, if he’d just had a reason…

Well, it doesn’t matter. There’s no reason for him to think about this now, either.

He just has a vanishingly small crush on his associate.

It’s not like he’s going to do something about it.

*

Harvey has it under control, honestly.

He’s a grown goddamn man. This isn’t the first time he’s interested in someone, and he can very well go on with his life despite the inconvenient attachment he has formed.

Most of the time he doesn’t even think about it. Except when Mike is smiling at him. Or laughing at something he said. Or spending the morning next to him as they work in companionable silence, or suggesting they order pizza with cheese in the crust, or sends Harvey a text with a ridiculous emoji that he can’t stop fixating on for some reason, or-

Okay, maybe he thinks about it sometimes.

Maybe he thinks about it a lot. Not that it matters. Thinking about it isn’t harming anyone. It’s more of an idle pastime, really. Like he said, Harvey has it under control.

Until he catches Mike flirting with a client.

A male client. Of course. Because he’s gay.

A male client who isn’t him.

It really shouldn’t catch him as off guard as it does, because the client has been making eyes at Mike the whole time and even Harvey picked up on the hints he dropped, and yes, he is handsome and charming, but somehow it never crossed his mind that Mike would actually flirt back.

To his credit, he waits until they have finished their business before he leans in and graces him with a mischievous smile that Harvey despises, mostly because it’s not directed at him.

“So, are you gonna invite me for a celebratory drink once we win this thing for you or was all that just hollow words?”

The client looks entirely too smug when he suggests, “How about we make that two?”

Mike is thankfully too occupied licking his lips and batting his lashes at him to notice the professional smile falling from Harvey’s face.

Really, the impudence.

“Alright, I’m gonna leave you two to it,” he announces when the eye sex they are engaging in becomes unbearable, which is definitely not an utterly transparent attempt to draw the attention back to himself. “Remember that this office has glass walls, will you?”

They both chuckle, throwing each other a glance that somehow makes Harvey feel even worse.

He sees Mike slipping the guy his number from outside, but once the case is done he never hears from the client again, and Mike doesn’t mention his name once, so he manages to forget about the whole thing.

Until Mike flirts with a bike messenger who is dropping off some documents because, apparently, his professionalism only goes so far.

The guy is hot, so Harvey can’t blame him.

He still does, of course.

He doesn’t realize he’s giving him a death glare until Mike catches him staring. So much for professionalism.

“You told me to go for it if I wanted some guy’s number,” he points out with a grin, too occupied with his conquest to pick up on Harvey’s hostility.

“Yeah,” Harvey mutters, narrowing his eyes. Why the hell did he do that?

Not his smartest move, certainly. Then again, that was before he ever actually caught Mike following his advice. Before he had developed this… situation.

Doesn’t mean he wouldn’t like to go back and hit his past self over the head for essentially giving Mike permission to run free.

Not that it would have made a difference.

He doesn’t ask if Mike ever texted the messenger guy, because a boss who doesn’t have a crush on his employee doesn’t do that.

He tries not to pay attention to how often Mike’s phone chimes with a text or the smug smile on his face when he reads them, which only grows when Harvey tells him to get back to work.

He tries really hard not to notice the massive grin on Mike’s face when he strides into the office a few days later, post-coital bliss written all over him.

Goddamn it.

Harvey swallows down the burning surge welling up in him that tastes an awful lot like jealousy. His life was so much less complicated when he didn’t notice Mike making eyes at every other guy.

At every other guy who isn’t him, it seems.

He groans, swiveling in his chair so Donna doesn’t catch him rubbing his temple.

This is pathetic.

He doesn’t usually chase people who don’t want to be chased. He doesn’t spend his time contemplating the object of his affection or their love life. He doesn’t get jealous.

This never happens to him.

He lets out a deep breath, telling himself to get his shit together.

Harvey Specter doesn’t pine, and certainly not after people who aren’t interested in him.

He may think about why they aren’t. A lot. Excessively.

But he decidedly does not pine.

*

To say that Harvey gets used to Mike hitting on other guys would be an overstatement, but he endures it. Barely.

He doesn’t really have a choice. Mike keeps flirting with clients. He keeps flirting with messengers, and associates, and paralegals, and everyone who isn’t Harvey, really.

He never crosses the line or does anything inappropriate, always making sure his advances won’t get in the way of their work, so it’s not like Harvey can say anything about it.

Annoyingly, he can’t even bring himself to resent Mike for it. He’s always so eager and excited and he deserves to have something good in his life. How could Harvey not be happy for him?

It doesn’t help when Mike tells him about his adventures whether he likes it or not (he doesn’t). Because at one point, in between the crimes they committed and the battles they had to fight, the two of them ended up becoming friends. Harvey isn’t quite sure how it happened, but he isn’t about to complain, not when it allows him to spend so much more time with Mike.

Not rarely they stay at office longer than they strictly have to, dragging out whatever they’re sitting over or having a drink afterwards for no reason but to enjoy each other’s company. Harvey’s jacket is often on his chair then, and Mike’s sleeves rolled up, that ridiculous skinny tie he insists on wearing loosened around his neck.

Things are less… official like that. They talk about things that have no place in the office, and it’s not weird at all. Harvey finds himself leaning back as Mike skims his record collection, or when he lounges on the sofa, the odd remark about his life – private things, personal details that other people wait years to hear – slipping from his lips easily. Maybe it’s because Mike is so trusting himself, always wearing his heart on his sleeve, that Harvey feels the need to open up too.

Or maybe it’s just because he wants Mike to know him, the same way he’s learning all about him and somehow liking him more with every weird little detail he finds out.

They aren’t boss and employee in there – they are just Harvey and Mike, and it doesn’t take long for that small but significant distinction to seep out of the office too.

Mike showing up at Harvey’s stops surprising him after the second time, and it turns into a regular occurrence faster than he can blink. Sometimes it’s because of work, sometimes because there’s a personal crisis Harvey has to take care of for him, and sometimes he’s just bored and looking for company. Harvey doesn’t even reproach him for turning up unannounced when he gives him a grin and the bags with takeout he brought along that they later share over a movie and the casual banter Harvey has come to love so much.

It happens the other way around, too. Harvey shows up at Mike’s to check on him, to drop something off or grab a file he took home, or to watch a game, enjoy the food he got on the way, and make fun of his apartment that he would never tell him he doesn’t actually hate.

This is just a thing they do, apparently.

Just as the movie nights and the shared food and more pizza than Harvey has consumed since he was an associate (he even tries the one with cheese in the crust and while he doesn’t fully understand Mike’s excitement about it, he has to admit that it’s not bad). Often, they don’t even get to the end of whatever they are watching or working on, too distracted by their conversations to finish.

Harvey finds himself wholly caught up in whatever topic they are discussing on a regular basis, staring at Mike speaking a mile a minute and flailing his hands in fascination, because damn it, the man can talk.

Harvey has never seen anything like it. He knew Mike was different from the rest of the crowd as soon as he stepped into that interview room, but he never expected this.

Mike is without a doubt the smartest person Harvey knows, but he’s not above discussing the plot of some eighties’ sci-fi movie in excruciating detail the same way he lists every law in the book without batting an eye. As much as he likes teasing Harvey with it, he’s often careless about his mind, like he just forgets that it’s outstanding somehow.

It’s a part of him, but he doesn’t see life through it. No, he’s guided by his chronic bleeding heart more than anything, always caring so much, about everyone and everything and too often not enough about himself, and when he’s passionate about something he can’t not express it, uninhibited in a way that Harvey, as someone who always has his guard up in some way, too conscious of the sharks hunting for blood in the cutthroat world they live in, secretly admires.

Mike just doesn’t care. He doesn’t give a shit who listens, how ridiculous he sounds, how futile his protesting is, the words pouring out of him so earnest and authentic that Harvey can’t do anything but listen and consider them. It’s a gift, and a curse, everything that’s going on inside Mike finding its way to the surface unfiltered, and out comes what amounts to the most perplexing, fascinating personality Harvey has ever encountered.

He has never met anyone quite like Mike, and he finds himself drawn to him more and more despite the disproportional amount of time they’re already spending together.

It’s then that Harvey realizes he may have a problem.

This little crush of his isn’t so little anymore. It’s turning into a full-blown infatuation, and he may or may not be finding himself a little more desperate every time the kid smiles at him and it does something terribly inauspicious and painful to his insides.

Goddamn it. He couldn’t care less about office politics. He would throw all his reserve about dating a man to the winds in a heartbeat.

If Mike had shown even the slightest bit of interest in him, Harvey would have made a move long ago.

He flirts with everyone all the damn time, for fuck’s sake. Why not with him?

Harvey knows he isn’t unpleasant to look at. He’s not that much older than Mike, and he has flirted with men way above his age right in front of him. Is he just not his type? Is there something about him that puts him off?

Or does he just not realize Harvey is someone that could be flirted with? Someone who is more than willing to be, actually?

It makes sense, the longer he contemplates it. Maybe Mike just isn’t trying with him because he thinks Harvey is straight. Most people do. Why wouldn’t they? He rarely indicates that it’s different, and those occasional remarks are always taken for a joke. He never bothers correcting that, so it’s not really surprising.

Well, maybe he should start to.

Maybe he should… come out. Officially.

Do people still do that at his age?

Harvey is not old, but he still finds it hard to picture himself saying those words and not feeling ridiculous. Coming out is something teenagers do after their sexual awakening, isn’t it? When you’re still in the process of finding yourself, not when you’re an adult who has already built himself a life.

Then again, there are always headlines about some celebrity or another coming out after 50 years and two marriages. People who only realized their preferences long into adulthood, or had always known and just never talked about it for fear of the repercussions.

And sure, these people get a lot of shit, but they all seem to get through it, and he’s never heard of anyone who regretted coming out. And Harvey doesn’t even have a wife, or children, and even if he did, he wouldn’t come out as gay anyway.

He’s bisexual.

“I’m bisexual,” he mutters to himself.

He’s starting to get used to the sound of it.

So coming out may be an actual option, never mind that Harvey has no idea how to even go about that.

How would he? Gather everyone he knows around him and make a big announcement? God, no. That would be ridiculous. It would turn the whole thing into something much bigger than it is.

It’s not like anything’s going to change, after all. It’s just another detail about who he is. He’s still the same person. No reason to blow that out of proportion.

Maybe he could just take the people that matter aside and tell them, eye to eye.

Jessica, there’s something I wanted you to know. Donna, I’m bisexual. Marcus, you know how you always made fun of me for my excessive hero worship of all those baseball players? Yeah, turns out I just wanted to fuck them. Louis, I’m bisexual, and don’t you even think about giving me shit for it.

I’m bisexual.

Mike, I’m bisexual.

Yeah, real smooth.

It makes him cringe to even think about. Harvey doesn’t like being uncomfortable. He doesn’t get uncomfortable. He isn’t insecure; he knows where he stands and what he wants, and anyone who has a problem with that can fuck right off. So why should he have to make some big official statement that is just going to end up making everything weird? There’s no reason why he can’t do this on his own terms.

Maybe he should just do it casually. Wait until the right moment comes, crack a joke, and then when everyone laughs, tell them that he wasn’t kidding. That’ll show people that it’s no big thing. If he’s cool about it, no one will have a reason not to be.

Actually, I wasn’t joking. I’m bisexual. What do you mean, you didn’t know?

It’s not that hard. He can do that.

It’s not such a big deal, is it? He’s almost positive that most people he cares about wouldn’t mind, and if they did, it would just be a helpful sign that Harvey should stop caring about them.

But it wouldn’t only be his friends who would know. He’s made a name for himself, and there’s no question that word would spread. Opposing counsel would know. His enemies would know. Clients would know, and potential clients too, who may or may not be a little too conservative for this sort of thing.

There could be… consequences.

It’s not that Harvey is scared of anyone. He’s comfortable enough with himself to endure any ridiculing that might come his way, and he has a secure position at the firm. A detail as vanishingly unimportant as his sexual identity surely won’t influence his career in any significant way.

And yet.

He isn’t scared. He isn’t. But the unpredictability of the effects his coming out would have on him and his life, his relationships, leaves him… wary.

Harvey likes a bit of a risk. He isn’t afraid of a gamble. But when it comes to those he loves, he’d rather know where he stands, thank you very much.

He groans, running a hand over his face. Why did he never think to make sure he wasn’t accidentally making friends with someone homophobic? Why didn’t he ever pay attention to how LGBT issues are regarded at the firm? Why didn’t it occur to him to check people’s views on the topic?

Or maybe he just didn’t want to know. Maybe it was safer not to, so he could pretend that it didn’t matter.

It never did.

But it might now. If he’s doing this.

God, this is way more complicated than it should be. Harvey sighs, wondering if Mike went through the same thing back when he first came out. If he still does, every time he has to do so again. Because it doesn’t stop, does it? It doesn’t end with telling people once. Every time you meet someone new, every time you go somewhere people don’t know you, you have to come out all over again because everyone just automatically assumes that you’re something you’re not.

How the hell does he do it?

It looks so effortless to Harvey, how Mike tells people like it’s nothing and even smiles as he does it. He’s only beginning to understand that it’s anything but, despite the fact that it’s the twenty-first century, marriage equality is a thing now, and there are really much worse problems to deal with than who wants to fuck whom, especially when that shouldn’t be an issue at all.

Jesus. He never appreciated the bravery of those who paved the way so that people like him could ponder coming out in passing.

He doesn’t even have much to lose with his high status and privileged position, and still he hesitates. To risk the status quo that’s always been so easy to maintain before Mike burst into his life and made him consider ludicrous ideas like courting his associate or coming out at the age of 35.

And Mike still might not be interested in him, even if he knew he swings that way. He’s considering all this because of nothing but the fickle hope that it may lead to something.

But when he feels the excitement flickering in his stomach at the prospect, the shiver of anticipation running down his spine, he finds that it’s a risk he’s willing to take.

*

All of Harvey’s musings and idle plans go down the drain when Mike starts seeing someone.

Before Harvey can make a move or as much as think about how to come out, this guy pops up virtually out of nowhere, and from one day to the next, they’re dating.

Kinda missed his chance there.

They go out a couple of times. Mike shows up at the office with his telltale grin betraying exactly what he did the night before more and more often. Harvey hears the guy’s name several times when Mike tells him something until he nearly develops a knee-jerk aversion to it.

He even picks him up at the office once, his hand lingering on the small of Mike’s back as he introduces himself to Harvey with a ridiculously charming smile that makes him ridiculously angry for some ridiculous reason, because clearly, this is not just a fling.

Harvey definitely has a problem.

“So,” Mike says when his boyfriend has stepped outside to meet Donna, grinning. “Not a bad catch, right?”

“Sure,” Harvey agrees, faking his best smile. He kind of hates the guy with a burning passion, but even he has to admit that Mike could have done worse for himself, should this turn into something permanent.

Which is looking more and more likely.

Harvey watches the development with narrowed eyes, watches time going by and the two of them still seeing each other, trying not to throw up a little every time Mike mentions him and he can’t help but think, that’s what you could have had.

It’s a bitter pill to swallow, that he was this close to finally acting on what’s been building inside him for months and then someone else came and preempted him before the moment was right. That there may have been even the slightest chance of him being in the asshole’s place that stole Mike’s heart. That the guy he lost to (never mind that they never actually competed because he missed his chance) keeps making Mike smile and is good for him and Harvey was just too goddamn slow and there is no one to blame but himself.

It’s hard, but he deals with it. What other choice does he have, really?

Mike is happy. Harvey is not, but there isn’t much he can do about that. So he puts on his brave face and fakes a smile whenever he has to, quashing the nauseating sensation welling up in him every time he says his name or grins at his phone.

As long as Mike is happy, that’s all that matters.

*

Harvey has never been so relieved to have a big case taking up all of his time.

It’s a fairly boring one, granted, but it keeps him busy enough to forget about Mike and what’s-his-name (he knows exactly what it is, he just really wishes he didn’t).

It also gives him an excuse to show up at Mike’s place at 10 pm – not that he needs one, but he’s been reluctant to do so ever since he’s started having company more and more often. Though, if he were to coincidentally… interrupt something, he wouldn’t terribly mind.

Mike opens the door just when Harvey was about to knock a second time. His first thought is that he seems to have caught him alone, which is nice. His second thought is that Mike really doesn’t look great, kind of disheveled and like he hasn’t slept in a while, which is… not quite as nice.

His eyes fall on the shirt Mike is wearing with broad letters spelling out say hey if you’re gay across his chest.

“Hey,” Harvey says.

He nearly groans as soon as the word is out, but Mike doesn’t pick up on it. Thank god. That would have been a stupid way of coming out.

He just leans against the door, asking wearily, “What do you want, Harvey?”

“What’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing.” Before Harvey can call bullshit, he lifts his shoulders. “Noah and I broke up.”

Oh.

Oh.

“I’m… sorry to hear that,” Harvey says, and he isn’t really, not at all, but he is sorry that Mike is in pain because of it, so it’s only half a lie. “What happened?”

Mike huffs. “Just didn’t work, I guess. It’s a long and stupid story. Nothing exciting.”

Harvey raises an eyebrow. “I’ve got all night.”

Mike wordlessly steps aside to let him in.

“So, do I have to hunt the guy down and kick his ass?” Harvey asks as he grabs two beers from the fridge, since Mike, who has already flopped down on the sofa to resume his wallowing, clearly isn’t going to.

“No, it’s fine. We ended it on a mutual agreement. It was better this way, things weren’t gonna work out, all that.”

He accepts the beer Harvey hands him with a scowl.

“The thing is, I kind of knew it was going to end like this? Like, there were signs. I liked him, a lot, and we had a good time, but I saw it coming from miles away. Don’t know why I’m still sad.”

“Because you liked him. A lot. And you had a good time,” Harvey reminds him with a dry smile. “Even if you know things aren’t going to work out, those feelings don’t just go away, do they?”

He would know all about that.

Mike nods. “Yeah, they don’t. I mean, they will, in a few days or so. I’m gonna be fine. It’s not like I thought he was the love of my life or anything.”

“Of course you’re gonna be fine. But it’s still bad right now.”

Mike sighs. “Yeah.”

Harvey eyes him from the side. “You wanna talk about it? This is a one-time offer, so you better take it.”

Mike lets out something like a laugh, then sighs. “He wanted an open relationship.”

“Ah. I take it you didn’t?”

“No, I didn’t. We talked about it a few times, but we never got anywhere with it. He didn’t understand that I just didn’t want to share him.” Mike exhales deeply. “We met up last night. He had this weird look on his face the entire time, and when I finally got him to talk, you know what he said?”

Harvey is expecting the worst, so it doesn’t really come as a surprise when Mike quotes, “There’s this guy.” He rolls his eyes. “Doesn’t it always start like that. He said they’d hit off right away and he knew – just think about that, he knew he was going to end up in bed with him sooner or later, but since we were exclusive, he wanted to let me know before. I mean, that’s pretty courteous, I guess, but somehow it didn’t really make me feel better about the fact that my boyfriend may not have cheated on me yet, but was sure about the fact that it would happen at some point.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah. I told him that, and he said he had guessed as much, but he’d still wanted to give me the courtesy of a fair warning, whatever the fuck that means. He said he didn’t wanna be the guy who cheated on his boyfriend. Well, since I didn’t wanna be the guy who got cheated on by his boyfriend, it was pretty clear where we would go from there.”

Harvey shakes his head.

“That sucks.”

He’s glad the guy didn’t actually cheat on Mike – he definitely would have had to hunt him down then, and he’d rather not see his face ever again – but the situation is still fucked up. As relieved as he is that their relationship is over, Mike didn’t deserve this.

“Yeah.”

Mike takes a sip of his beer, wiping his mouth as he narrows his eyes.

“And that wasn’t even all of it, you know? There were other things. Just small stuff that I didn’t really pay attention to because it was never that serious anyway, but in hindsight I’m just wondering, why the fuck did I put up with that?”

Now this is something Harvey is deeply interested in, hearing all about what a terrible boyfriend Mike’s oh-so-perfect ex actually was.

“What’d he do?”

Mike snorts. “He never cleaned the bathroom after himself, for one. Like, I’m not that fussy, but there was so much hair everywhere, all the time. I don’t even know where it all came from, man. And he forgot to take it out of the shower every single morning. Oh god, and he usually had to get up before me, but actually that just meant I had to get up with him, because he never managed to just be quiet? Jesus fuck, Harvey, he never made an effort to be quiet in the mornings. I didn’t mind so much at the time because he usually made up for it with amazing morning sex, but still, what kind of partner can’t even be considerate enough to let you sleep?”

Harvey ignores the images flashing across his mind at once, just remarking, “Appalling. How did you live like that?”

“I know, right?”

Mike purses his lips, growing serious again. “It was just a lot of that, a lot of ‘if we’re gonna do this seriously, that may become a problem at one point’, you know? But it was still early on. He annoyed me sometimes, but I thought, this is still good. Let’s just see where it goes. Well, it all led here. And here… sucks.”

Harvey nods gravely.

“You’ll get through it,” he says, because if there’s one thing he knows, it’s that Mike is more resilient than anyone he has ever met. He can get through anything.

Mike sighs. “I know.” Eyeing him, a smile spreads on his lips. It’s the first since Harvey got here, and even though it’s small, it leaves him feeling strangely vindicated. “I’ve got you to help me through it. You always do.”

Harvey doesn’t know what to say to that, so he just takes another sip.

Mike exhales deeply, then shakes his head. “Anyway. You didn’t come here to listen to me wallowing in my heartache and complaining about my ex. Did you want something specific? Is it the case?”

Harvey waves his hand. “Forget the case. That can wait. The only thing I want you to think about is what we should order to eat, because it looks like you skipped dinner and I won’t be held responsible for letting you starve.”

Mike’s lips curve up.

“Really? You’re letting me decide? You know what I’m gonna say.”

Harvey lets out an exaggerated sigh, because of course he knows, but he isn’t about to deny Mike the simple pleasures in life when he’s sad. “I’m only consenting to this because you’re still in the early stages of your break-up and your cogitation is quite obviously impaired.”

“You like the cheese in the crust.”

“I certainly do not.”

“Admit it.”

“No.”

“Come on, Harvey. Either you like the crust or you like me so much that you endure it for me. Which one is it?”

“I plead the fifth,” Harvey mutters, fleeing the sofa and Mike’s immediate proximity to call their preferred pizza service.

Mike smiles when he returns, dropping down a little too close to him on the sofa. He can never stay away for long.

“I missed this,” he says out of nowhere. Startled by the unexpected admission, Harvey glances at him, finding him returning his look earnestly.

His heart pounds in his chest. It feels entirely too revealing when he agrees softly, “Me too.”

Mike holds his gaze before he suddenly averts his eyes. “You know, Grammy once said that when you’re sad, you should look for the little things that make you happy. But even more you should look for the people that make you see the little things. And you should hold on to them for dear life.”

Harvey’s swallowing sounds too loud in the following silence. But Mike’s gaze is open, making him look so human and approachable that it takes all of Harvey’s strength to keep from reaching out and touching him. He swallows again, somehow managing to keep his voice even when he says, “Your grandmother’s a wise woman.”

“She is,” Mike agrees. “I know where I got it from.”

Harvey rolls his eyes fondly, though he’s too relieved to see the smirk on Mike’s face to really hold it against him.

“I was so, so lucky to have her when my parents died,” Mike then says, blinking at his hands. He still looks sad, and Harvey doesn’t like that, but it’s a different kind now, a faraway, ancient one that never quite leaves but doesn’t hurt as much as the immediate one either, so he thinks it might be okay.

“I could have become part of the system so easily, you know? Been one of those kids that slipped under the radar, ending up in some home with no perspectives and no one who gives a shit about them. Too old and too messed up for anyone to consider taking them in. And I came close. But thanks to her, I never had to worry about that.” His forehead creases as he picks at the label on his beer. “She gave up so much for me.”

“I’m sure she wouldn’t see it that way.”

“No. Which is exactly why she’s the greatest woman to have ever walked this earth.” Mike looks up, smiling again. His shoulders lift a little as he leans in, closer to where Harvey is sitting.

“How many people do you know that could take in a recently orphaned kid on the brink of puberty that likes getting into trouble and actually manage to raise him alright? I mean, I’m not proud to say this, but I didn’t exactly make it easy on her.”

“I think that’s understandable, given the circumstances.”

“I know, it wasn’t my fault and all that. She always told me so as well. But still, I kept her on her toes. Poor Grammy. I got into trouble with Trevor, I got into trouble at school, I stopped showing up at church, I got my heart broken… and she went through all of that with me and never complained.”

Mike’s expression softens. “She was the first person I came out to, actually. She paved the way for me with how well she reacted, I don’t even think she understood how much. She made me push through every obstacle I had to face after that.”

Harvey holds his breath as he leans closer.

This is the first time Mike is telling him about his coming out, the first time they’re really talking about his sexuality, and Harvey finds himself listening attentively, instantly intrigued to hear more about that part of his life and his experiences, see how they match his own, what he went through until he got to where he is today. He’s never had an opportunity like this, to exchange himself with someone who feels the same or at least in a similar way, who has already gone through the very thing Harvey is considering taking upon himself now.

“How old were you?” he asks, deeply curious.

“Thirteen.”

Harvey raises his eyebrows, and Mike chuckles. “And scared out of my mind. Not because I thought she’d have an issue with it, but because it felt so big, you know?”

Oh, he does.

“People always think you can’t know that early, but you do. I’ve met so many people who knew since they were kids. It’s not about sex then, it’s just a feeling you have. You just know.” He shakes his head. “But anyway, it wasn’t my age that made it so scary. It was… everything else, really. I never had a problem with myself. But I kinda had one with the world I was living in.”

Harvey nods; he knows exactly what he means. He can picture it perfectly, scrawny little Mike who had already seen the worst of the world and was about to face it yet again.

How brave he was at the tender age of thirteen. How much braver than Harvey by a long shot.

“It was very different from how it is today, and even today it’s far from how it should be,” Mike says, glancing at him. “I mean, you know. Not everyone takes it as well as you did.”

Tell me about it, Harvey wants to say.

“I heard what the other guys called each other at school. I knew people got beaten up for being gay, and making myself a target for all that, it was… terrifying.”

“So what made you decide to come out anyway?”

Mike meets his eyes. “I didn’t want to keep a secret from her. She was my Grammy. She was the person who knew me best, who had always been there for me. I just needed her to know.”

He smiles a little at the memories. “And I’m so glad I told her. All these things, they were still true, and they still scared me, but not hiding who I was anymore, being true to myself, that was worth all of it.”

Harvey worries his lip.

“So you didn’t regret it?”

“No.” Mike shakes his head. “I’ve had some bad experiences, sure, but I’ve never regretted it. Not ever.”

The weight of Mike’s gaze seems to hold Harvey in place. He can’t move, can’t look away. There is nothing in his eyes challenging him – of course not, because he doesn’t know – nothing but such a staggering amount of earnestness that he feels a bit like he can’t breathe.

Now, Harvey thinks. Say it now. Tell him.

It’s the perfect moment. Mike just opened up to him. He isn’t going to judge him, he’s going to understand. Mike is good and kind like that, and regardless of Harvey’s crush on him, he has become one of the closest people to him in the world. It’s only right to tell him.

Everything is lined up flawlessly.

But the words won’t come.

Harvey’s tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth, and the longer the words stay inside, the less sure he is that he should actually say them.

Maybe it’s not the right time after all. Maybe Mike will take it the wrong way. He just got his heart broken, after all. Maybe he’ll think that Harvey is just offering a distraction to comfort him, or worse, that he’s coming on to him mere hours after his breakup. Harvey doesn’t want to be insensitive. He itches to let Mike know, to finally tell him what’s been on his mind for so long, but it’s not the right moment.

It never is.

“Hey, you know what I’ve also never regretted? Getting pizza with cheese in the crust,” Mike remarks, and with that the opportunity evaporates for good. He snorts at Harvey’s expression, and while he’s glad to see him this amused, he can’t help the bleak resignation taking hold of him.

Too little, too late.

“I vote we eat on the sofa when the pizza arrives,” Mike’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts. “And by vote I mean that this is my home and I make the rules, so you can’t force me to eat at the table because ‘that’s what adults do’.”

“I never said that. That’s a terrible rule. You know damn well that I’m perfectly happy eating right here when the situation warrants it. We’ve done it multiple times.”

They are fond memories, treasured and safely hidden away in the deep corners of Harvey’s mind, only to be taken out when he’s in a particularly sappy mood and wants to torture himself even more than he usually does.

Mike nudges him with his knee. “Yeah, I know,” he says, and when he smiles he almost doesn’t look sad anymore.

It’s a relief to see. The kid’s resilient. He’s going to be alright in no time.

And Harvey will be, too. Just as soon as he gets the hang of this whole coming out business.

*

“So, you know you’re kind of my best friend, right?”

Way to start the day.

“Good morning to you too,” Harvey says, taking a sip of coffee before he remarks, “I did not know that, but it’s nice to hear, I suppose.” Understatement, but Mike doesn’t need to know that. He has a reputation to uphold, after all. “Are we doing emotional declarations now? Because I only have five minutes, and knowing you, that’s going to take a hell of a lot longer, so if you need Donna to reschedule-“

“Oh, just shut up, will you,” Mike interrupts, waving his hand. “Well, you are. My best friend. Even though you’re a dick.”

“Thanks.”

Mike rocks back and forth on his heels. “It’s June.”

“Okay,” Harvey says.

Mike rolls his eyes. “It’s pride month, Harvey.”

“Oh,” Harvey makes, though he still has no idea where this is going.

Mike sighs. “That means the pride parade is coming up. I always go, and I wanted to ask if you wanna come along and join me this year.”

Harvey blinks, sitting back. He resists posing the stupid questions popping into his head – you really want me to go with you? – and instead just allows himself a small smile, trusting it to say everything he wants Mike to know.

“Of course. I’d love to.”

Mike’s face lights up. “Great! That’s awesome. I’ll send you all the details on the when and where, or better yet Donna so she can make sure nothing comes up that weekend. Of course there are lots of parties happening afterwards, and you can bet your ass I’m dragging you to those as well…”

He babbles on, and Harvey watches him with a fond smile, thinking that even if he didn’t jump at every chance to spend more time with Mike he would have said yes because he can’t really refuse him anything.

Which is how Harvey ends up at his first pride parade.

Admittedly, he has been curious about what it’s going to be like. He’s watched some of the parades from the side over the years, but never actively participated in one, thinking that it just wasn’t relevant to his life.

Funny, how times change.

He doesn’t remember the atmosphere being so vibrant, everyone laughing and yelling, the bright colors and loud music letting the crowd move as one in a way that makes it easy for Harvey to, for the first time, feel like he’s really part of the community he’s finally accepting as his own. To feel welcome, like he belongs.

It’s surprisingly nice.

He never realized just how exhilarating it would feel to be right in the middle of it all. He keeps looking around to drink it all in, the people laughing and cheering and kissing all around him. It’s a warm day, everyone is sweating in the sun, but that doesn’t stop strangers from falling into each other’s arms, touching and connecting wherever they can.

“It’s pretty great, right?” Mike asks with a grin. Harvey glances at him, smiling too.

“Yeah, it is.”

Everyone is so happy. People beam at him whenever he catches their eyes. They don’t know him, and he doesn’t know them, but they don’t need to because they’re all here and that means they have something in common, if not their identity then at least their values. Everyone is making the most of the day, just having a good time. And Harvey is, too.

Even when he gets hit by some condoms that someone scatters into the crowd.

He is so perplexed by the sudden assault, looking down to figure out what just happened, that he nearly runs into Mike doubling over with laughter.

“It’s not that funny,” Harvey says, though he has to admit that it is pretty funny.

Mike wipes his eyes. “Yeah, it totally is. I mean, your face, man. Right in the eye.”

“I could have been hurt.”

“What are you gonna do, sue the entire city?”

Harvey rolls his eyes.

“This happens every year,” Mike explains, gathering a few condoms from the ground with a massive grin. “It’s tradition at this point.”

“Well, it’s a nice one,” Harvey murmurs dryly, but it actually kind of is, especially when he sees how much fun everyone is having with the confetti and condoms and candy being thrown into the masses.

Wherever he looks, something is going on that catches his eye. It’s a massive party, for all he knows, but the countless signs and banners make sure to remind everyone that it’s a protest too, and amidst the hundreds of people that are out here, that exist just like him, Harvey has never felt the necessity of this event so acutely.

Mike is carrying a sign too, the rainbow flag he painted on his cheek mirroring the one on the cardboard he’s holding up with the biggest grin Harvey has ever seen on him.

It made him stop short when he first laid eyes on it, the words FREE KISSES FOR BOYS practically leaping out at him, but Mike is so happy returning the excited grins people gave him when they read the sign, and so far no one has actually taken him up on the offer, so Harvey manages to push it to the back of his mind.

Until a guy steps out of the crowd to approach Mike, raises an eyebrow with a ridiculously charming smirk, and dives in to kiss him right in front of Harvey.

His hesitant elation at being here evaporates at once.

People around them are cheering, but Harvey registers none of it through the rustling in his ears as he watches the stranger make out with Mike, who is perfectly happy returning the favor for so long that Harvey is beginning to worry he’s going to need oxygen once this is over.

When they eventually break apart, Harvey’s fist aches from where he has clenched it at his side.

“Wow,” Mike sighs, wistfully staring after the guy when he disappears into the crowd again. Harvey does the same, only it’s less wistful and more filled with sudden deep hatred.

It only gets worse from there.

Harvey has never seen a domino effect come into force so perfectly and he really wishes he still hadn’t, because once someone catches sight of Mike and that guy, it’s open hunting season on his lips. People keep coming up to him, some of them showing the courtesy of asking, some just grabbing his face and kissing him.

Seemingly everyone wants a piece of Mike. Not that Harvey can blame them. His mood drops more and more with every guy who comes up to him (and the one girl who hands him a dollar before kissing him too, both of them laughing way too much about it for Harvey’s taste).

The march through the city suddenly seems entirely too long and tiring. The party is still going on around him, but Harvey doesn’t feel like celebrating anymore. The hesitant hope he experienced earlier has vanished with every person that kissed Mike while he was right there without being able to do the same.

He doesn’t realize how sullen he got until Mike pats his shoulder.

“What’s with the face?”

“What face?” Harvey asks, fully aware his expression is a perfect display of discontent.

“The one you usually have at the office when something doesn’t go your way. Stop thinking about work, will you? We’re here to have a good time!”

Harvey would have laughed at that if he weren’t so put out.

“Not thinking about work,” he mutters.

Mike has the audacity to chuckle. “Yeah, right. It’s just that you're way too grumpy for pride. People will think you're a homophobe.”

“I am not a homophobe.” Harvey takes a deep breath, squaring his shoulders. Now. He’s going to do it now. This is his chance to put things right once and for all. “I'm actually-”

“Super tolerant and open, I know,” Mike cuts him off, nudging him with his elbow.

Harvey deflates. “Yeah,” he murmurs.

“Hey!” Mike's face lights up. “Let's prove it to them!”

Before Harvey can ask just what he means by that, Mike has grabbed his face and planted a wet, smacking kiss on his cheek. It barely lasts a second. He’s gone again faster than Harvey can blink, leaving his face feeling hot where his lips landed just a second ago as the people in their immediate vicinity start cheering.

He barely notices. Harvey is incredibly relieved that Mike isn’t looking at him as he tries to recover, because he’s pretty sure he is actually flushing.

Harvey Specter doesn’t flush. But he also doesn’t feel the warmth of other people’s lips on his skin long after it should have faded, entirely unable to stop replaying the memory in his head.

There’s a first time for everything, he supposes. Especially when it comes to Mike.

His cheek doesn’t stop tingling all the way through the city. All Harvey can think about is how badly he wishes his lips had landed just a few inches farther in the middle.

*

“So there are a few parties happening later, but I don’t really feel like spending the night in some stuffy club. It’s way too hot.”

“I’m not crazy about that idea either,” Harvey agrees. “Didn’t you say there was some open air thing happening?”

“There is. Seemed pretty cool, actually. Let’s check that one out.” Mike glances at the time. “I’m still hungry. Just let me grab some more fries before we go.”

“Sure, no rush. We’ve got all night.”

The sun is only just setting when they arrive at the open space, the bass guiding them to the right location from several blocks away, but no one seems to mind the early hour. While the two of them got some refreshments, everyone else seems to have just gone on partying, and they waste no time blending in with the people already caught up in the rhythm.

It’s been a while since Harvey went to a club, having become more of a bar person over the years, but seeing people of all ages coming together and having a good time makes him feel at ease instantly.

“Drinks?” Mike asks over the pounding music.

“You bet.”

There’s a rush on the bar, and they wait for a while, entertaining themselves by pointing out signs or people around them catching their eyes. It’s so loud that Harvey almost can’t hear Mike, but since he’s used to being focused on him, he has no trouble understanding him anyway.

When they have their drinks they return to the crowd to mingle, though they never stray too far apart by unspoken agreement. It’s easy to let the rhythm take him, pulsating through his body until it dictates his movements, matching them to Mike’s next to him, who seems delighted by the fact that Harvey is dancing, if the way he keeps staring at him is any indication.

Well, he can look all he likes. Harvey has never been self-conscious. Call it vanity, but he knows what kind of sight he makes.

Which is also why he’s not surprised to receive a few advances, something Mike finds deeply interesting for some reason. He doesn’t mind being chatted up, giving the men that catch his attention a few minutes of his time, but when it comes to more than sharing a quick connection, a short dance that is just for fun, Harvey turns down all of them.

Mike, on the other hand, doesn’t.

Harvey didn’t expect him to, but that still doesn’t prepare him for the surge of jealousy welling up in him when a stranger slides his arms around Mike’s waist and Mike doesn’t push him away. He looks over his shoulder to check out the guy’s face and, after a glance at Harvey, turns around in his arms.

They fall into a slow rhythm at once, grinding against each other in an almost obscene way.

Okay, they are clearly not wasting any time.

It’s actually quite hot, the roll of their hips hypnotizing to watch, but Harvey can’t appreciate the sight when all he can think about is how badly he wishes he were in that guy’s place. To have Mike grinding against him like that, moving to the rhythm with abandon, the want driving him so evident in every shift of his body.

Harvey doesn’t know why he’s putting himself through this, not when it feels like he can barely breathe, but it’s like an accident or a strange natural phenomenon. He just can’t look away.

The stranger says something into Mike’s ear. They have moved too far away for Harvey to make out what it is, but he still catches the slight quirk of Mike’s lips, the way his hands slide down the man’s back to linger on his hips.

The song changes, not for the first time, but Harvey barely pays attention to it, his own body moving on autopilot as Mike and the guy find together again and again. They adjust to the beat effortlessly, clearly less concerned with dancing and more with feeling each other up.

He can’t help it, he has to watch the events unfolding before him. It’s fascinating and terrible and ignites a longing in him that crushes everything else, and Harvey feels a little like the third wheel, but mostly he just feels like ripping the guy’s head off, which is currently nestled into the crook of Mike’s neck.

Harvey clenches his jaw.

Mike is allowed to have fun with this guy. There is no reason why he shouldn’t go for it if the opportunity arises, and there is also no reason Harvey should stick around to torture himself, but he still can’t make himself turn around and just go somewhere else.

Oh, they’re kissing again.

The guy’s hands are clearly on Mike’s ass now.

Great.

At least Mike doesn’t encourage him further. Maybe he just isn’t that much of an exhibitionist. He merely returns the kisses as they slowly turn until Harvey has a perfect view of his face, which doesn’t exactly make things easier for him.

Harvey purses his lips, averting his gaze to prevent being caught staring, but his eyes find Mike’s silhouette again without his conscious doing, drawn to him like a moth to the flame, and what he finds when he looks at him freezes him where he stands.

They are still kissing, feeling each other up like they are the only two people here, but they aren’t, and Harvey knows that Mike knows.

Because Mike’s eyes are open, and he’s looking straight at him.

It’s not an accidental connection. Seconds pass, ticking by agonizingly slow, and still Mike’s eyes bore into his despite the pretty man he’s kissing, despite the way he’s entwined with him that very moment. He is looking at him, watching him, his eyes too sharp for what he’s doing, and Harvey couldn’t say what’s in them any more than why it’s shaking him to the very core.

It leaves him breathless. He doesn’t notice the beat going through him anymore. He doesn’t hear the jarring music or the voices singing along, doesn’t feel the people pressing against him from all sides. All he notices anymore is Mike.

His cheeks are flushed, his hair disheveled in a way that only makes him more attractive. Harvey can see him returning the kiss, though it looks almost absentminded, can see his parted lips when the guy moves down his jaw, his eyes still boring into Harvey’s like a physical weight holding him in place.

Neither of them looks away.

The moment stretches into the immeasurable. Harvey only realizes he stopped breathing when someone pushes him and he turns his head reflexively, breaking the spell between them.

He blinks, feeling like he’s resurfacing from a long dive. He has no idea what his face displayed for Mike to see, what it is that just happened between them, but when he looks back up, the moment is gone. Mike’s eyes are on the guy before him again, his hand sliding up his arm, and Harvey frowns, wondering for just a second if he made the whole thing up.

The way his heart still pounds in his chest suggests otherwise.

He doesn’t have long to ponder the question. He tries to control his features when Mike says something before stepping away from the guy, making his way towards Harvey. He stops inches from his chest, putting a hand on his shoulder as he leans in.

“Hey, you having a good time?”

Harvey strains to hear him over the deafening music.

“Yeah,” he lies, nodding towards Mike’s conquest. “I suppose I don’t need to ask if you are?”

“Oh, well,” Mike says, waving his hand. Harvey raises an eyebrow.

“I was thinking, I’m getting hungry again,” Mike yells into his ear instead of explaining what he meant by that. “What do you say, you wanna get out of here?”

Harvey frowns. “What about your friend? You don’t wanna go home with him?”

“Nah.” Mike shakes his head. “I wanna go home with you.”

Harvey swallows. “Right.”

Holding out a hand to him, Mike smiles. “Let’s go?”

This night just keeps getting wilder. Harvey blinks at his hand, a dozen different questions popping into his head. He doesn’t ask any of them.

He just reaches for Mike’s hand and takes it.

“Let’s go,” he agrees.

They make their way to the exit – which would have worked just as well without holding on to each other, but Harvey certainly isn’t going to complain – and then turn left at random in search of somewhere to eat.

The music fades as they walk, but neither of them feels the need to fill the growing silence. It’s not uncomfortable. A bit loaded, perhaps, but not uncomfortable. It never is with Mike.

There’s only a faint beat left somewhere in the distance when Mike eventually lets go of his hand. Harvey conveniently forgot how that was going to happen at some point.

“Sorry I left you on your own,” Mike breaks the silence.

Harvey gives him a look. “I’m not a child, Mike. I didn’t expect you to stick to my side the whole night. Of course you were gonna have some fun.”

Mike nudges him. “Who says I’m not having fun right by your side?”

Harvey opens his mouth, then closes it again, not knowing what to say. He knows what he wants to ask, what got into Mike today, if there’s a reason why he’s looking at him like that, but he’s afraid that the question would burst the bubble encasing them, disturb the hesitant approach between them that is so unlike their usual relationship and so very, very exciting.

Whatever this is, he doesn’t want to lose it yet.

So they just continue strolling through the streets, Mike not minding his silence, and Harvey pretends not to notice how he is walking just a little too close to him the whole time.

“I think I wanna get some pizza.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, why not? I’m starving.”

“Right, when aren’t you. Lead the way,” Harvey sighs, though he wouldn’t mind a proper meal either, and the childlike excitement on Mike’s face as he studies the menu of the pizzeria they stumble across is worth it.

“Fuck, look at that. I’m so hungry. Can we get two? Or, like, a really big one?”

Harvey snorts. “We’re adults, Mike. We can do whatever we want.”

Satisfied, Mike steps inside to place their order. He takes the pizza to go – so apparently they’re going back to his place, which is fine by Harvey – and just grins when Harvey steps in to pay under the pretense that he would take too long to gather the money in his current state.

“I’m not even drunk.”

He isn’t. Neither is Harvey, the pleasant buzz of the drinks he had barely impacting him. Which makes this entire night even more bizarre, because they are both sober, and yet there is this thing sprouting between them that Harvey is almost sure he isn’t imagining.

“Just let me have this, rookie. I have a reputation to uphold.”

Mike’s smile is strangely soft when he mutters, “Too late for that.”

He spends the entire walk home waxing poetry about the pizza and how heavenly it smells, and Harvey thinks that it’s funny how they act like they may be a little bit drunk after all – or maybe that’s just how Mike makes him feel – and he also thinks it’s funny that Mike is so focused on the food instead of swooning over the guy he just made out with, or that it’s Harvey he’s taking home when he could have had anyone else tonight.

Not that he’s going to complain about it.

Mike drops straight to the floor when they get to his apartment, leaving it to Harvey to close the door and grab something to drink.

“Finally,” he mutters, opening the box.

“Your sofa is literally right there,” Harvey points out, lowering himself next to him. Mike is clearly unconcerned by the fact.

“Which side do you want first?” is all he asks. Harvey chooses at random, and Mike hands him a slice, biting a huge piece off his own with a moan. Harvey watches him in amusement.

“So, how did you like your first pride parade? Did you enjoy it?”

“I did,” Harvey confirms. The answer is way too complex to put into words after all the impressions he got tonight, but it’s mostly true, so this will do. “I had no idea it would be like this. So many people coming together, celebrating.”

Mike smiles. “It’s quite something, isn’t it?”

“It is.” Harvey takes another bite. “And you? Had a good time?”

“You bet. I still do, by the way.” Mike smiles at him, then sighs. “I just love pride, you know? The sense of unity, the way you can connect with people so easily… it’s unlike anything else.”

“Looked like you weren’t having any trouble connecting with people,” Harvey agrees dryly.

“I was carrying that sign,” Mike points out. “People aren’t gonna pass up free kisses.”

Harvey snorts. “Mike, you wouldn’t have needed the sign to get some action. You’re not exactly hard on the eyes, believe me. Any guy there would have been lucky to kiss you.”

Mike blinks at him, his pizza halfway to his mouth. He doesn’t speak.

Harvey clears his throat when the silence grows, dropping his gaze to his slice. “So why didn’t you? Get some action?”

“Didn’t you see me dancing with that guy?”

Mike knows exactly that he saw him, because he saw him seeing him. Harvey flushes at the memory, wiping his mouth to conceal it.

“You know what I mean.”

“Why I didn’t go home with that guy? Or at least to the restroom?”

“Classy.”

Mike shrugs. “I don’t know, I guess I just didn’t feel like it. I rather wanted to be with you.”

The words are casual enough, but the way his eyes linger on Harvey’s makes him think that there is something in them that Mike wants him to pay attention to.

Maybe it’s just Harvey’s imagination. Maybe he’s finally desperate enough to read into things that don’t mean anything.

But Mike is still looking at him, and Harvey may be hopelessly in love, but he’s not usually bad at reading people, and he is just uninhibited enough to let that convince him to take the next step, because even though he may end up falling hard, he just needs to know.

He licks his lips. “That’s nice of you.”

“You know me. Nice is my middle name. Besides,” Mike adds, taking another slice, “I dragged you along to pride. It was only fair not to leave you alone, never mind the fact that I actually do enjoy your company.”

“You didn’t drag me along to anything. I was happy to come. I… should have gone a long time ago.”

Mike scrutinizes him. Harvey drops his eyes, suddenly feeling hot beneath his shirt. His heart is pounding entirely too fast. It’s unnerving.

It’s exciting.

“I should thank you for bringing me along,” he says, inspecting his pizza.

Mike smiles. “Thank you for coming. I’m glad you did. It’s always a party.”

“It’s kind of sad when it’s over though, isn’t it? The prospect of going back to the status quo after that is… decidedly unappealing.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. But there’s always next year. And pride isn’t over yet, so there’s still time to enjoy it.”

Harvey looks up, holding Mike’s gaze.

“Is there?”

“Yep. We’ve got the rest of the month.”

Harvey’s heart is in his throat. He licks his lips, driven by a hesitant flutter in his stomach that he quickly identifies as hope. Because there’s something in the way Mike looks at him that he isn’t imagining, he knows he isn’t.

Or at least he hopes so.

It’s a fickle hope that may be destroyed any moment, just as their easy friendship he is putting on the line here, but Harvey is a risk-taker at heart, so it’s all he needs to screw his courage and ask, “So technically that sign of yours still applies?”

Mike’s eyes snap up, darting to the cardboard before he meets Harvey’s.

“I guess it does, technically.”

The air feels thick all of a sudden. Harvey can barely breathe, but that’s the last thing on his mind, unable to make himself look away from Mike’s face, to do as much as blink, lest the moment evaporates and he loses hold of the feeling that’s spurring him on, making him cross the last line that he knows there’s no coming back from.

“So if I asked, would you?”

Mike stops chewing. For one stretching moment, they are just looking at each other in absolute silence. Harvey can hear the blood rustling in his ears.

“Are you? Asking?”

“What if I am?”

Mike doesn’t move. He doesn’t even blink, and after a while Harvey is convinced he isn’t going to react at all anymore, but then he swallows, a look of determination passing over his face.

Harvey blinks when he puts his pizza down. Whatever he’s about to do, he must be serious.

He watches as he gets to his knees, giving him a look that is mostly decided and just a little apprehensive, like he isn’t sure Harvey really wants this but is determined to give it a shot anyway.

Harvey always suspected that Mike was the braver one between the two of them.

“If you were asking,” Mike says slowly, carefully weighing the words as he appraises Harvey’s reaction, “I’d tell you that you can get a kiss anytime you want.”

He slides closer on his knees, his eyes never leaving his face. Harvey supports himself on his hands as he leans back, tilting his chin in silent encouragement.

“Anytime I want?”

Neither of them acknowledges how his voice is just a little too rough.

Mike nods. “With or without the sign.”

He’s so close now. Harvey bites his lip when he climbs into his lap, giving him plenty of time to draw back or tell him that he didn’t mean it, that it was just a joke.

He never even thinks about it.

Mike stills on top of him, warm and solid and right there, the weight of him anchoring him in the moment, and time slows down as they look at each other, a final reassurance that this is what they both want.

Harvey has never wanted anything more in his life.

He watches Mike’s lashes fluttering, his chest heaving a little too hard, his shining lips so very close to his own. His heart pounds in his chest.

“Then I guess I am. Asking.”

Mike stares at him for a split second before he dives in, closing the distance between them.

His lips are soft and warm and a little greasy from the pizza. Harvey falls in love with the feeling of them instantly.

He raises his hand to cup Mike’s cheek, returning the kiss fervently to chase away any doubts he may still have about this. Because Harvey has none. The second their lips touched, he knew that this is it. This is right.

Any hesitancy on Mike’s side melts away at the kiss. He sighs quietly, nudging Harvey’s face as he tilts his head, pulling his lips between his.

Harvey pushes against him in encouragement, parting his lips a little more, desperate to taste the seam of Mike’s mouth. He happily lets him explore, grazing his tongue just slightly, teasing and exhilarating without ever turning sloppy.

Harvey can’t remember the last time he was kissed this gently and yet so deeply, with so much devotion that his heart contracts. He can’t remember ever having had a kiss quite like this before, period.

He can hear Mike’s breathing, the soft smacking of their lips where they meet again and again, and Harvey would have happily gone on for a good long while if Mike hadn’t broken the kiss to pull back because he’s laughing.

“Holy shit,” he whispers when he has caught his breath, blinking at Harvey with unabashed awe.  “This is, like, the best thing ever.”

Harvey has to agree, but he still lifts an eyebrow, sounding a lot more composed than he feels when he asks, “Yeah? How so?”

“Are you kidding? Kissing, kissing you, and kissing that tastes like pizza, could there be anything better?”

Harvey snorts. This is the most Mike sentence that has ever come out of his mouth, and it makes his insides twist in all the right ways because it leaves absolutely no doubt that this is real. It’s actually happening.

“Then do it again,” he challenges, and Mike’s eyes glint before he leans in, the smile still lingering on his lips.

So this is what that expression on him tastes like. Harvey has always wondered.

Again Mike breaks the kiss far too soon – though any interruption is too soon as far as Harvey is concerned, seemingly unable to wrap his head around what’s happening.

“Holy shit,” he says again. Harvey briefly wonders if he broke him. “I can’t believe we’re really doing this.”

Harvey considers giving him a smooth line like I know, everybody wants a piece of me, but what comes out is, “Believe me, neither can I.”

Mike puts a hand on his chest, contemplating him.

“So you’re not straight, I guess.”

“No, I’m not.”

He opens his mouth, then hesitates. Mike just waits, giving him an encouraging look, the smile lingering on his lips curious and gentle and reassuring all at once, and despite of what they just did, or maybe because of it, it’s the hardest and the easiest thing in the world to finally say it.

“I’m bi.”

Mike breaks into a grin. “Oh, thank god.”

Harvey blinks at him. “That is… not the reaction I was expecting.”

“Sorry, it’s just, you can’t imagine how relieved I am to hear you say that. I’ve been crushing on you for months. This is like the best day of my life.”

“For months?” Harvey echoes, struggling to process that piece of information. “No, that can’t be right. You mean to tell me that if I’d gotten my head out of my ass sooner and told you about my crush on you, we could have been here months ago?”

Mike just blinks at him. “Wait. You were crushing on me? This whole time? Jesus, Harvey, why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Well, you never hit on me,” Harvey defends himself. “You kept making eyes at every guy who strode into the office, but you never showed any interest in me.”

“Are you kidding? Of course I didn’t hit on you, you’re my boss!”

He has a point there.

“Besides, I didn’t know you weren’t actually straight. I hoped, but you only ever talked about women, so…”

Harvey scratches his neck. “Well, it isn’t exactly common knowledge. You’re actually the first person I told. I mean, those few guys I made out with back in the day knew, obviously, but I never explicitly told them.” He shrugs. “I guess it’s time. To come out.”

Mike eyes him quietly. His lips curve up, and then he wraps his arms around Harvey, nearly squeezing the air out of his lungs as he hugs him tightly.

“Congratulations,” he says when he draws back.

Harvey blinks. “On what?”

“On coming out.”

Harvey breaks into a smile too. “Thank you.”

Mike beams at him. “How does it feel?”

Good question. Harvey is not sure he has ever felt as many emotions as he has in the past few hours. It’s scary and freeing and exhilarating all at once, even now that he has already said it, even though he knew Mike would take it well.

“Completely nerve-wracking,” he admits.

Mike gives him a knowing smile. “It’s unlike anything else, isn't it? Kind of terrifying, but so liberating too.”

“It is,” Harvey agrees. “I had no idea. I always told myself I’d do it if it ever became relevant, and then it didn’t, and I just kind of went on like that until I was well into adulthood. After that it just felt like it was too late. Like it didn’t really matter anyway.”

Mike takes his face in both hands.

“It’s never too late. And it always matters.”

Harvey holds his gaze, swallowing. “Thank you.”

Mike just nods. “Hey,” he says, grinning as he brushes his cheek with his thumb. “You did it. You’re out now. No going back into the closet.”

“Absolutely not,” Harvey agrees, surprised by how sure he is, but like this, his heart still pounding with relief and Mike in his arms, the taste of him still lingering on his lips, there is absolutely no way he is ever going back.

Mike’s smile turns mischievous. He leans in, lingering inches from his lips as he murmurs, “I’m proud of you, you know.”

“Yeah?”

“So proud,” Mike says. “In fact, let me show you just how much… I feel for you… right now…”

He keeps interrupting himself to give him little teasing kisses, and Harvey lets himself be guided backwards willingly, not giving a shit about the hard floorboards beneath him.

“Of course. Feel free to express your appreciation any way you want,” he murmurs, and then he’s too busy kissing Mike and relishing the feeling of his hands slipping under his shirt to say anything else.

Yeah, he thinks hazily, if this is what it’s like to be out of the closet, then he’s sure as hell never going back in.