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Lip had felt out of place in the Milkovich house ever since things had gone to shit with Mandy. Not that it had ever been a comfortable place for him—Terry made every place he set foot miserable—but it had been a shelter of sorts when he'd needed one. Now though, with Mandy refusing to acknowledge him and Kenyatta staring daggers at him, it was the last place he wanted to be. If it weren't for Ian he wouldn't go near the cesspool and he really wished Ian was back at home.
"Orange Boy is in bedroom," Svetlana said since she was apparently the only person talking to him. Not that he wanted Kenyatta's attention right now—after that incident at the university he was just happy he'd been let in the house.
When he didn't move right away, Svetlana pointed at Mickey's bedroom. He guessed it was Ian's room now too, which was strange on a lot of levels. He'd never imagined a situation where his brother actually ended up playing house with Mickey Milkovich.
Lip knocked on the door and Mickey opened it. He looked tired with dark bags under his eyes and for the first time Lip was confronted by the toll Ian's illness was taking on Mickey.
"'Bout time you showed up," Mickey muttered. He threw the door open, letting Lip see Ian who was sitting up in the bed. He looked exhausted, but alert. Mickey turned back toward the bed. "I'll make lunch."
Ian nodded. "Soup would be good."
"I'll see what we've got," Mickey replied and left in the direction of the kitchen.
Lip glanced around the room and saw a half dozen prescription bottles on the night stand next to Ian. He nodded at the pills. "They have you on all of those?"
"Yeah," Ian answered. "They're still playing with the dosages though—trying to keep me from being a zombie."
"Well, you look better than I expected." Lip smirked. "You still look like warmed over shit, though."
"Fuck you," Ian responded, a ghost of a smile on his lips.
Lip sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled out a cigarette. "Sorry I haven't been by sooner. I would have come, but Fiona told me you weren't responsive…"
"And you were too big a pussy to deal with that?"
"Pretty much," Lip admitted. He fiddled with his lighter. "I didn't think you'd want me to see you like that anyway."
"You thought right." Ian leaned back against the wall. "Everyone was parading in and out. It felt like I was in the fucking zoo."
"Ian," Lip said hesitantly. He lit the cigarette and took a deep drag before saying what he'd needed to say for weeks. "I'm sorry. I saw the signs weeks ago and didn't say anything. I was hoping I was wrong."
Ian shrugged. "I wouldn't have listened. Things were just too good. I finally understand why Monica doesn't want to take the pills."
"But you are."
Ian nodded. "The highs aren't worth the lows. Especially not if it means I let people down." Ian's eyes trailed to the bedroom door. "I won't be his Monica."
Lip didn't know what to say to that. He was glad that Ian was willing to take the drugs, no matter what his motivation was, but what would happen if things didn't work out with Mickey? The last thing they needed was for Mickey to bail and Ian to disappear—again. There was precedent after all.
"He taking care of you?"
"I hate that he has to," Ian said. "But, yeah, he is. And once we get the meds figured out hopefully I'll be able to do more than sleep the day away and things can go back to normal."
"Fuck have to," Mickey said, coming into the room with a bowl of what looked like tomato soup and a glass of juice. "I don't do anything I don't fucking want to do."
Lip watched as Mickey carefully put the tray in Ian's lap, brushing a hand gently down his arm before stepping back. When Mickey had stayed with the Gallaghers, Lip had gotten a glimpse of his relationship with Ian. He'd seen enough to know that it was actually a real relationship and not just convenient sex, but still, watching Mickey now was eye opening. Mickey was being gentle in ways that Lip didn't realize he was capable of.
Ian smiled up at Mickey and it was that same stupid fucking expression that Lip had caught on Ian's face a few times before when he'd looked at Mickey. It made him look young and innocent and completely in love and Lip couldn't help thinking that Mickey didn't deserve that. Then again Lip didn't know if he'd ever think someone was worthy of that look.
Mickey opened a few of the pill bottles and handed Ian three pills. "You think you can eat a grilled cheese sandwich? Mandy said she'd make one if you'd eat it."
"Maybe half of one?" Ian answered.
"Not hungry?" Lip asked as Mickey left the room again.
"The pills make me sick to my stomach, but if I don't eat it's worse," Ian answered. "It fucking sucks, but the doctor swears it'll go away once we get everything stabilized."
"Must be nice getting waited on hand and foot," Lip said. "That the real reason you're staying here instead of coming home?"
Ian's only response was to flip him off before taking his pills with half the glass of juice.
Watching Mickey taking care of Ian actually reminded Lip of the way Mandy used to try to take care of him. Apparently the Milkovich family had a secret talent for caretaking which was just fucking weird. The difference was Ian wasn't being a dick to Mickey about it. Lip didn't regret breaking things off with Mandy, but sometimes he wished he'd appreciated her more before things had had a chance to get so screwed up.
"So how long before they think you'll be straightened out?" Lip asked.
Ian shrugged. "A month? Maybe more. Each time they change the dosages we have to wait and see how it affects me."
"That sucks."
"Yup," Ian agreed. He lifted his juice glass in an imaginary toast. "Thank you, Monica."
Mickey came back in with a grilled cheese sandwich and another bowl of soup and sat next to Ian, giving him half of the sandwich. "Mandy says you better eat all of it or she isn't cooking for you again."
Ian laughed. "She's a liar."
"Yeah." Mickey grinned at him. "She knows we'd eat nothing but fucking pizza rolls if she wasn't here."
As they shared an amused smile, Lip suddenly felt like he was an outsider looking in on a world that he didn't belong to. He'd never felt that way about Ian's life before, but now his brother had a whole life—a whole family—that didn't involve Lip. It was an uncomfortable realization, but he supposed that was part of growing up. They were bound to create their own families and somehow Ian had made one with the Milkoviches. Oh he was still a Gallagher and nothing would ever change that, but he had two families now.
"I should get going," Lip said. He stood up. "Finals are coming up and Amanda will castrate me if I lose my scholarship."
"That's some motivation," Mickey commented.
"She believes in the carrot and the stick," Lip explained. "She uses blowjobs as rewards."
Ian smirked at Mickey. "If you ask me that's a much better motivator."
"Of course you'd think so, Firecrotch," Mickey responded, giving Ian an appraising look.
Lip held up his hands, trying to put a stop to the flirting. "Please just wait until I'm gone."
Ian rolled his eyes. "I'm not an exhibitionist."
"Really? You give lap dances for a living," Lip pointed out. "And remind me, how many times have the two of you been caught?"
"Get the fuck out Gallagher," Mickey said, his words made less effective by the fact that he had a mouthful of sandwich. "Go study or something."
"We'll stop by the house in a few days and see everyone," Ian said, smiling at Lip. "I should be up to that much by then."
The use of the word "we" didn't escape Lip. He didn't think Ian even realized that he'd automatically included Mickey. "Sounds good."
As Lip made his way out of the house, past Svetlana and some blond woman that he assumed was another prostitute, he still wasn't sure if this was the best place for Ian. The Milkovich house had always been a fucked up nightmare, but it wasn't really up to him anymore. Ian didn't need him to be the protective big brother, he needed him to accept him and that's what Lip was going to do. Even if that meant embracing Mickey Milkovich and this new life that he and Ian were creating together.
Lip would always do whatever Ian needed him to, but if Mickey screwed this up there would be hell to pay.