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They take one of the cars and sneak out of the bus like a pair of giggling teenagers.
It’s crazy and it’s fun.
A perfect mix for Fitz right now.
Hunter’s humming quietly while driving.
Fitz doesn’t recognize the melody.
He throws a shy look at Hunter now and then, still wondering if this is just one of those long dreams, which let you live through years and feel so real it hurts after you wake up.
But it isn’t a dream. Not this time.
Hunter eventually stops in front of a small diner. He smiles at Fitz. “Okay?”
“Okay,” Fitz echoes, fumbling with a button on his cardigan nervously.
He gets out of the car, following Hunter to the diner on shaky legs.
*
Hunter orders them two bottles of beer.
“So,” he says to Fitz. “Me and you?”
“Yeah,” Fitz says carefully. It sounds more like a query than an answer.
Hunter grins. “Cool.” He raises his bottle. “Let’s drink on our first date!" Fitz smiles shyly, clinking his bottle with Hunter's. He hurries to take a sip. Trying to hide his slight blush behind the bottle. Now that the adrenaline that has filled him because of his sudden love confession, has left his body apparently, he feels more uncertain again. And confused.
It’s just … strange.
Hunter’s strong, funny and kind.
Fitz is … well, he has never been good in socialising. School was hell. Academy was awkward. He didn't have friends. Well apart from Simmons, who was somehow different too. But after all, he always feels like people react to him either annoyed or confused. And after his brain injury, he feels even more like a useless drag for everyone. Altough everyone tells him otherwise. But who knows, right?
“Hey,” Hunter’s voice rips Fitz out of his devastating thoughts. “Everything’s alright love?”
Fitz hesitates. “Why?” He finally asks.
“Why?” Hunter echoes, blinking.
“Why, um, me? Why do you want … me?”
“Oh.” Hunter sips his beer, thinking for a moment. When he speaks again, his voice is quiet but full of emotion. “Being with you feels right. Feels like, well, like home, you understand?”
Fitz feels a pleasant warmth spreading inside of him. For me it feels the same, he thinks. But it doesn’t feel real yet. And that scares me … Out loud he says, “I understand.”
Hunter smiles.
For a moment, they are silent, listening to the quiet rock music in the background, and the mumbling of other people, sitting in the corners of the diner.
Finally Hunter asks curiously, “You’re bisexual?”
Fitz startles, then shrugs. “I think so? I’ve never been with a, um, man before though. Just noticed, um, things. Clues.“
“I see,” Hunter says, tapping a finger against his bottle. “Hardly anyone knows I am bisexual. Bobbie knows of course.”
“Bobbi,” Fitz repeats.
Hunter nods, shrugging. “Yeah. She's way more bearable now that she apparently has a girlfriend. She even tried to hook me up with somebody a few times. In fact, I had a few relationships with men, after we broke up. But,” Hunter hurries to say, “It wasn’t, um, real, you know?”
“Just sex?” Fitz asks.
“Just sex,” Hunter confirms. “And don’t get me wrong!” He raises both hands. “I like sex! I love it! But … it’s not enough.”
“Hm.” Fitz sips his own beer, nervously rubbing his bad hand on his trousers. This is remarkable, he thinks. Now they are already talking about sex. Well, of course, they are both adults and … it’s normal, right? Sex is a normal, healthy thing and … God. His ears start to burn at the thought of having sex with Hunter.
And Hunter looks at him, as if he knows.
Fitz clears his throat. His face feels like it’s on fire. “I … toilet,” he blurts out.
Hunter nods, watching after Fitz, who hurries to the bathroom, his hands clenched into tight fists at his side.
*
In the dirty mirror in the bathroom, Fitz looks himself in the eye, asking his reflection what the bloody hell he’s doing.
It feels great to be with Hunter. But … Fitz can’t be the one Hunter wants, right?
It can’t be real. It’s too good. Too easy. Too … too perfect.
Fitz sighs. He wishes, he could stop worrying. But there are too many what ifs, and they’re a mess in his head.
Careful hope mingles with hopeless insecurity.
It makes him feel dizzy.
He washes his face with cold water, trying to get his thoughts back into a proper order.
He goes back to Hunter, who smiles brightly when he sees him.
Maybe, Fitz thinks weakly, sitting down beside Hunter and picking up his bottle of beer again, maybe it’s real after all.
And if it is, he wishes, he could just enjoy it.
*
“Do you want to go for a walk outside?” Hunter asks, when they finished their beers.
Fitz nods relieved. Fresh air. Yeah. He could definitely use some fresh air.
Hunter pays the beers. The next moment, they are outside, standing under a starry night sky.
Hunter whistles. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Fitz breathes. He still feels a bit dizzy.
Hunter turns around to him. He frowns. “Hey,” he says, carefully laying a hand on Fitz’s cheek. “You can always share your thoughts with me, yeah? Don’t hold anything back. I can feel that something’s bothering you. Tell me?"
“Um. I … words aren’t, um … they are still difficult,” Fitz says, looking aside.
Hunter smiles and shrugs. “No problem. I wait.”
Fitz swallows. “I just … this is … it’s great, okay? It’s, um, bloody great, to know that you want me. That you want to, um, be with me? But … I’m not good at this stuff. I’m … well,” he says almost angrily, clenching his bad hand into a trembling fist. “I’m hardly perfect. I’m awkward and … and when I want to be, um, friendly I sometimes am rude instead, somehow? And … and I’m damaged. It’s driving me insane. But you,” he says weakly, looking up into Hunter’s attentive eyes. “You are … you are you. And that’s bloody damn perfect. Yeah. It is.”
He falls silent, looking down at his shoes, feeling like an idiot.
“Fitz,” Hunter says, “You are perfect. Just the way you are. And you know, I think you’re not fair to yourself. But don’t worry. I’m going to tell you what’s perfect about you. Everyday. Until you believe it yourself.”
Fitz can only stare at him, speechless. His heart beats faster, he feels a strange but pleasant fluttering in his stomach.
Hunter smiles thoughtfully. "Let's see ... You're smart. You care so much about everyone else, you forgot yourself, you have a heart of gold, you're loyal and you're strong, I've already told you why, remember? Because you always stand up and keep on fighting ... And your eyes, have you ever looked at them in the mirror? They are beautiful, they are like the ocean on a sunny day ... "
He falls silent, looking surprised for a moment, raising his eyebrows. "Wow. Seems like I'm becoming a romantic because of you," he jokes.
Fitz is still speechless. He’s overwhelmed. This is how Hunter sees him?
“Can I kiss you?” Hunter asks.
Fitz nods.
Hunter bridges the little bit of distance between them. His lips are soft and warm. Fitz closes his eyes, melting into the kiss, that’s much more passionate than their first one. Hunter lays one hand on his back, stroking lightly. It makes a pleasant shiver running over Fitz’s spine.
They forget time. It’s just them and a feeling of rigthness.
*
Coulson looks angry and confused.
He opens his mouth, maybe to yell at them, but closes it again in surprise, when Hunter and Fitz come into the hangar, holding hands. He blinks.
“Hey boss,” Hunter says, grinning. “What’s up.”
“Ah,” Coulson makes, clearing his throat. “Where …”
“Sorry, Sir. Hunter, um, took me out,” Fitz says
“You had a date?!” An excited Daisy jumps out of the dark, making them all flinch in surprise. “I knew it!” She runs away. “Mack. Mack!!! You owe me pizza!"
Coulson sighs. “Please you two … next time tell me you’re going out. You almost gave me a heart attack.”
“Boss, what were you thinking? That I fitznapped him?” Hunter asks cheerfully, squeezing Fitz's hand, who grins.
Coulson just shakes his head tiredly, turning around, making a vague hand gesture. “Just … next time, tell me. I almost sent out a team looking for you ..." He yawns, walking away, mumbling to himself.
Hunter grins at Fitz. “Your bunk or mine? Only,” he hurries to add, as he sees how Fitz blushes all over again, “Only if you’re up to some cuddling before sleeping? Maybe?”
“Oh.” Fitz swallows. “Yeah. I, um, I’d like that.”
“Great.” Hunter beams. Then he scratches his head a bit embarrassed. “My bunk is, well, not tidied, I must admit …”
Fitz only grips his hand tighter, pulling him to his own bunk. Tonight, he falls asleep in Hunter's arms, feeling light and cozy. Really feels like home, is his last sleepy thought.