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once more, with feeling

Summary:

Ro and Matt are voted into the episode 9 challenge.

Notes:

Fun fact, Matt majored in theatre.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

You decide how this ends.

Inside the box is a little pink gun. It looks a lot like the evil clown lady’s gun from the beginning of the night (Ro would know, she’s had it pointed at her face enough times to recognize it). Everyone in the tent goes deathly silent, save for Lucy, who cackles in her manic, high pitched way at this turn of events.

“Ro,” says Matt, first to break the silence.

Ro tears her gaze from the gun in the box—no, it’s suddenly in her hand, when had that happened—to Matt’s. His glasses are off, so she can see the brown in his eyes and there’s something odd in them, some flicker of an emotion she can’t identify. Behind him she sees Joey clutching Nikita’s arm in abject terror as the reality of the situation crashes into the four of them.

Shoot myself, or shoot Matt. The choice is easy. It’s not even something she really needs to think about. In fact, the gun is already on its way up to point at her temple. In fact, she’s already opening her mouth to tell him she’s sorry. In fact—

“Typical Rosanna.”

Ro stops. Her body reacts to the coldness in Matt’s voice before she fully comprehends that something is wrong. Her lips pull into a confused frown, taking in the dark chuckle her friend lets out, shaking his head ruefully.

“Not strong enough, are you?” he prods, raising his brows. “Couldn’t possibly face yourself? No, it’s fine Ro, by all means, shoot yourself.”

Joey gasps, while Nikita’s eyes narrow. Ro’s frozen, trying to figure out what he’s saying. It almost sounds like Matt’s insulting her, but… he wouldn’t do that, right?

“What are you waiting for?” Matt shouts, and Ro jumps. “Do you need me to show you how to take the safety off? Because that’s just classic Rosanna Pansino, isn’t it, always hanging off my arm? It’s a wonder you even made it this far!”

“Matt, what are you doing?” Joey growls, starting to stand, and Matt points at him.

“And after all this you’re gonna do this to Joey? You’re gonna shoot yourself right in front of him? Sure, Ro, because it’s not like he’s been through enough already, don’t you think? So fucking do it. Shoot.”

Ro flinches, because Matt never swears, not like that, and she still can’t understand what’s going on, because this isn’t the Matt she knows. There’s a madness in his eyes, an edge she’s never seen before, a rage tinged with desperation that borders on unhinged mania. The hand holding the gun lowers. The words he’s saying don’t even hurt, bounce off her like they’re in a completely different language and she just can’t comprehend. She’s so confused.

Matt rolls his eyes. “Here, Ro, let me do it. Since you can’t seem to do anything yourself.”

He takes a step towards her. Joey jumps to his feet, but Nikita grabs him to keep him from running into the ring. He’s yelling something that doesn’t register because Ro is so focused on watching Matt storm towards her. She’s starting to get scared, scared of Matt, scared of whatever it is that’s possessing him. Because that has to be it, right? This can’t be her friend.

Matt descends on her. His voice gets louder, higher, angrier. “This whole night I’ve done nothing but support you, carry you through the challenges, defend you from monsters, and this is how you repay me? Giving up, just like that? Classic, typical, selfish Rosanna, I can’t believe I ever called you a friend! But don’t worry.” His voice tints, dark, almost demonic, and he’s two steps away from grabbing her. “I’ll take care of you, Ro, I always do, and when I’m done with you I’ll take care of Joey, too—”

Bang.

Matt’s right there. He’s close enough to count the faint freckles on his nose. He’d teased once that it’s because “nerds stay indoors, Ro, we try to avoid the sunlight?” Ro gasps short, terrified breaths, shaking, the gun suddenly warm in her grip. It slips from her fingers and clatters to the ground. In a split second the rage is gone from Matt’s face, replaced by a quick, relieved, apologetic smile, and then he’s dropping into her arms.

“Matt?”

It comes out like a shriek. Like she doesn’t understand what happened, even though they’re both on the ground now, and the white straitjacket Matt’s wearing has a bright splotch of scarlet right where his heart should be, and Matt’s staring glassily at the ceiling, a faint smile still playing on his lips. All the clues are there and she understands, but she doesn’t want to believe it.

Noise comes back all at once. Joey’s yelling something, grabbing her shoulders and pulling her away from Matt’s body— oh god his body— while Nikita demands the artifact from Mortimer so she can cleanse it. There’s an undercurrent of something, too, something loud, and it takes a minute for Ro to realize that it’s her, screaming, the sound nothing but wordless grief. Joey turns her face into his chest and her keening cuts off only to be replaced by hysterical sobs.

“I killed him, I killed him, I shot him, I murdered him—”

“Shh, shh, it’s okay, honey.” Joey rocks her keeping his hand on the back of her head to keep her from turning to look for him. “It’s not your fault—”

“I shot him.”

“Because he wanted you to.” Nikita is suddenly there, kneeling next to them. Ro peeks at her and notices her face, stoic and angry but with misting eyes. She nods at Matt. “He was lying. Nothing he said about you was true. He was trying to force you into shooting him.”

“I don’t care!” Her voice doesn’t even sound human. Ro sobs into Joey’s chest, feeling like she was filled head to toe with hurt that was spilling out of her because she couldn’t hold it in anymore. Matt, her best friend. Matt, the Dipper to her Mabel. Matt who’s already died once before, and she thought she’d had him back— she thought she had him back—

“We have to go,” says Nikita, and she does sound apologetic. Ro isn’t ready to leave Matt behind, but they don’t have a choice. They have all the artifacts now, they’re ready for the Carnival Master.

Joey helps her out of her straitjacket. Then he and Nikita guide her out of the tent, both murmuring assurances, but Ro doesn’t hear them. She doesn’t hear a thing. She doesn’t feel anything, either. Her heart was left behind with the boy she’d loved and lost and found and lost again. It doesn’t matter if they defeat the Carnival Master or not.

Nothing will ever be okay again.

Notes:

EDIT oh right context agshdjfk basically in this, Ro was never cursed in episode 8 so Manny is the one who died instead of her, ta da, context! Hope you liked it!