Chapter Text
[jungkook hurtty youp]
lovebugjoon: you guys i did it
lovebugjoon: i finally did it
hobi: i’m already concerned
modelstatus: what did you do love?
lovebugjoon: after so long
sleepysuga: he got himself a crab
lovebugjoon: WOW OKAY JUST GONNA STEAL MY THUNDER LIKE THAT HUH
sleepysuga: you were taking too long
lovebugjoon: >:(
lovebugjoon: yes, i finally got a lil crab
lovebugjoon: everybody
lovebugjoon:
lovebugjoon: meet koya the blue hermit crab :D
modelstatus: could you be any more precious
hobi: koya is such a cute name uwu
taeberry: why didn't you name it crabmon
taeberry: rap monster
[lovebugjoon removed taeberry from the chat]
cuddlymochi: awww!! he's so pretty
cuddlymochi: is it a he??
lovebugjoon: good question
lovebugjoon: koya could be a male or female name
lovebugjoon: who cares
lovebugjoon: i'm raising the first gender neutral crab
hobi: WE STAN
hobi: what an lgbtq legend
lovebugjoon: but i'm assigning him male pronouns because its easier
hobi: lmao wow
cuddlymochi: well koya is very pretty
cuddlymochi: i wonder if he'd get along with serendipity
sleepysuga: what are we marine biologists now
hobi: smh yoongi
hobi: as janitor of our aquarium i'd expect you to know better
cuddlymochi: JANITOR
cuddlymochi: WHEEZE
sleepysuga: blocked
lovebugjoon: i bought him so much stuff omg
lovebugjoon: he has a little castle
lovebugjoon: blue sand
lovebugjoon: ahhhHHH i love him
lovebugjoon: my little baby
lovebugjoon: uwu
cuddlymochi: find a cuter human being i'll wait
hobi: i'm glad joon finally has a crab
hobi: i've been waiting for this to happen
lovebugjoon: me too!!
lovebugjoon: and he was the last blue one left!!
modelstatus: aww bb
modelstatus: those are ur faves
lovebugjoon: <3 !!!
modelstatus: can i come over to see him?
lovebugjoon: of course!!!
lovebugjoon: you can hold him and everything!!
modelstatus: ok :*
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[bottom boys]
modelstatus: you guys
modelstatus: namjoon won't have sex with me
taeberry: wtf why
cuddlymochi: omg should we beat him up
cuddlymochi: how dare he refuse u
modelstatus: he said he doens't want to do anything inappropriate in front of koya because he's just a baby
taeberry: ok well that's understandable
taeberry: you gotta be respctful of your boyfriend's children
cuddlymochi: i-
taeberry: ALSO JIMIN STOP IGNORING ME
[modelstatus, cuddlymochi chat]
cuddlymochi: no i don't know what taehyung smokes
cuddlymochi: is joon being fr
modelstatus: YES
modelstatus: I SAT ON HIS LAP AND HE SAID "not in front of the baby he just got here"
cuddlymochi; oh my god what's wrong with him
cuddlymochi: you're irresistable what happened to him
modelstatus: I DON'T KNOW
modelstatus: BUT I WANNA SUCK HIM OFF AND HE WON'T LET ME
cuddlymochi: does he have a fever?? is he sick???
cuddlymochi: he is not the type to refuse that
modelstatus: i know
cuddlymochi: have you tried neck kisses yet
modelstatus: no all i did was straddle him
modelstatus: lemme see if that works
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modelstatus: update i gave him a hickey and he didn't react
cuddlymochi: whoa
cuddlymochi: feel him up
modelstatus: ok
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modelstatus: what the FUCK
modelstatus: nothing is working
cuddlymochi: you're gonna have to do it
modelstatus: do what
cuddlymochi: you know what
modelstatus: sigh
modelstatus: i guess
cuddlymochi: gotta beg for it
modelstatus: i am king seokjin i never have to ask for what i want
cuddlymochi: you have to
cuddlymochi: and use his daddy kink :]
modelstatus: this is absolutely ridiculous
modelstatus: HE should be begging ME
cuddlymochi: nah
cuddlymochi: ur a bottom u gotta do what u gotta do
cuddlymochi: also stop pretending you don't enjoy it just as much as he does hoe
modelstatus: FINE
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modelstatus: takl ot you laeter
cuddlymochi: thats what i thought
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[taeberry, kookiebun chat]
taeberry: can u add me back to the group chat
kookiebun: um
kookiebun: joonie removed you right
taeberry: ye
kookiebun: then no
taeberry: wHAT
kookiebun: srry can't go against joon
taeberry:
taeberry: pwease?
[jungkook hurtty youp]
[kookiebun added taeberry to the chat]
taeberry: WHIPPED
kookiebun: won't deny it
taberry: jiminieeeeeeee
taeberry: stop ignoring meeeeee
hobi: i'm surprised jimin's lasted this long tbh
taeberry: jiminieeeeee
taeberry: soulmate!!
taeberry: best friend!!
taeberry: mochi!!
taeberry: JIMIN!!!
taeberry: jimin :(
taeberry: don't make me cry
taeberry: I'LL DO IT
taeberry: YOU KNOW I CAN CRY ON COMMAND
taeberry: DON'T MAKE ME DO IT
hobi: jimin are you even there
cuddlymochi: yep
hobi: oof
taeberry: SDHSHDH
taeberry: :(
taeberry: :'(
kookiebun: he's gonna cry
kookiebun: rip jimin
cuddlymochi: i don't hear anything
cuddlymochi: i'm in my room i'm safe from whatever you guys are talking about
cuddlymochi: i don't have a roomate
cuddlymochi: who's taehyung?
taeberry: :'(
cuddlymochi: oh
taeberry: :( :( :(
cuddlymochi: oh no
kookiebun: lol hear it comes
cuddlymochi: I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING
cuddlymochi: FUCKFUFUCJSD
cuddlymochi: OKAY TAETAE I'M COMING
hobi: smh
taeberry:
taeberry: he's not ignoring me anymore :D
hobi: oh my good
hobi: JIMIN YOU ARE SO WHIPPED FOR HIM
hobi: LOOK AT HIS FACE HE'S SO WHIPPED
kookiebun: LOLOL I HAVE COMPETITION
kookiebun: JIMIN CONTROL URSELF
cuddlymochi: i hate all of you
cuddlymochi: let me love my taetae in peace >:(
kookiebun: cute
kookiebun: but he's my taetae
hobi: uh oh
cuddlymochi: ...no
cuddlymochi: he's mine
kookiebun: incorrect sir
kookiebun: that's my strawberry right there
cuddlymochi: he's my son
kookiebun: he's my baby
cuddlymochi: he's my bestie
kookiebun: he's my boyfriend
cuddlymochi: HE'S MY ANGEL
kookiebun: HE'S MY TEDDY BEAR
cuddlymochi: HE'S MINE
kookiebun: HE'S MINE
taeberry: gentlemen, gentlemen
taeberry: i know everyone wants a piece of me
taeberry: thank u
taeberry: but
taeberry: i belong to yeontan
kookiebun: oh can't argue with that
cuddlymochi: he's right
cuddlymochi: nvm
hobi: you can't challenge yeontan