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Eight in the morning was too god damn early, in Koushi's professional opinion. If he had it his way, they wouldn't be meeting until at least noon, but no. Koushi stifled a yawn as he observed the room before him with disinterest. He stood at the front of a large stage, overlooking the house of the local theater. Takeda had brought up the house lights before vanishing into his office, giving Koushi a full view of the empty room. From where he was standing, Koushi could see a dark stain on one of the front row seats; someone must have ignored the "No food or drink" rule and spilled on the seat. Koushi would have to talk to Takeda about it later, ignoring the irony as he took a sip of coffee from his thermos. He checked his watch; the actors wouldn't be arriving for another half hour at the earliest.
Koushi sat down on the edge of the stage, grabbing his copy of the script. The theater's fall production was Moulin Rouge. Koushi had seen the movie a handful of times, but he never really got much from it. It was a forbidden romance story with the world's worst twist ending (worst by Koushi's—again—professional opinion). Needless to say, Koushi wasn't exactly enthusiastic about Takeda's choice. At least he'd have fun as the show's Music Director.
"Excuse me," a voice called from the back of house.
Koushi looked up from his script. A man was standing in the doorway, shuffling from foot to foot. He probably had been standing there for a few minutes.
"Hi there," Koushi said.
"Is this where the cast is supposed to meet?" the man asked.
"Are you here for the Moulin Rouge cast meeting?"
The man nodded, making his way down the center aisle. "I am. My name's Sawamura Daichi, I'll be playing Christian."
Koushi had to admit, he looked perfect for the part. He was no Ewan McGregor, sure, but he worked. He had that sort of softness that Koushi would have expected for a Christian. Plus, he was good looking. Takeda had been spot on.
"I'm Sugawara Koushi," Koushi said, hopping off the front of the stage. "I'm the Musical Director and pianist."
"You're doing both?" Daichi asked. "That's impressive."
"What can I say, I've got talented hands," Koushi joked.
Daichi laughed. He didn't have to, Koushi's joke was terrible, but he did. Koushi could feel his face heat up a little, but he squashed the feeling immediately.
Keep it professional, Koushi.
Daichi and Koushi chatted for a bit as the other actors began to file into the theater. Koushi spotted a few familiar faces in the crowd, he had worked with a lot of them before—Azumane Asahi, the Tanaka siblings, the Tsukishima siblings, Ennoshita Chikara, Kinoshita Hisashi, Narita Kazuhito, Nishinoya Yuu…. Koushi could see a few that he hadn't worked with too, but he recognized their faces from productions he had seen. Yuu waved at Koushi as he took a seat next to Michimiya Yui, one of the few people Koushi hadn't worked with. Koushi was actually extremely excited to work with her; Koushi had heard all about Yui's vocal range from her fiancé and Koushi's longtime friend, Shimizu Kiyoko, and he couldn't wait to work with her on her solo pieces. Yui had actually given Koushi an extremely tight hug when she first arrived and promised to bring homemade baked goods to the next rehearsal, cementing her as Koushi's Favorite Person for the production. Eventually, Takeda emerged from his office, arms full of script books that swayed dangerously as he made his way to the stage.
"Good morning, folks," Takeda said as he dumped the scripts onto the stage. "My name is Takeda Ittetsu, and I'm the Stage Director for this season's production of Moulin Rouge. As we get closer to tech week, I'll be introducing you to our Technical Director, Ukai Keishin, and his team. And this is Sugawara Koushi. For those of you who don't know Sugawara, he's our Musical Director, and will also be the show's pianist and playing the part of Satie, the Bohemian pianist."
Koushi turned to stare at Takeda. "I am?"
"We'll talk more about it later," Takeda said. "For now, let's go around the room and introduce yourselves. Tell us who you're playing and what you're looking forward to the most."
The company had mostly been doing that before Takeda arrived, but they humored him and reintroduced themselves. Koushi noted that, for the most part, he wasn't that surprised by the casting choices—of course Ryuu was Zidler, of course Yuu was Toulouse-Lautrec. He was a little surprised that the eldest Tsukishima brother was playing the Duke, but he figured it'd probably be a fun challenge for the guy. It also surprised Koushi that Daichi was the last to talk.
"My name's Sawamura Daichi," he said. "I'll be playing Christian, and I'm most excited to work with our Musical Director."
Koushi blinked in surprise. "You are?"
"Of course, I've heard a lot of good things about you," Daichi explained. "I hope that we work well together."
"Me too," Koushi replied, hoping that his voice didn't crack as badly as he thought it did.
***
Never knew I could feel like this, like I've never seen the sky before. Want to vanish inside your kiss, every day I love you more and more.
***
Rehearsals were going better than either Takeda or Koushi expected them too. All of the actors were taking things seriously and putting in more effort than Koushi had seen in past productions. They were able to move from script reading sessions straight into song rehearsals, starting with the large group numbers. It took Koushi a bit of time to get everyone used to singing with each other, but soon the actors had themselves sorted and were singing well together. Koushi could have cried; they were making his job so much easier.
Two people stood out to Koushi more than the others, he would admit. First was Yui. Kiyoko had massively undersold her fiancé and her vocal ability. She was incredible. She already bringing so much emotion to her parts that Koushi had to call for a five minute break so everyone could recompose themselves. Second was Daichi. Koushi knew that Daichi had to be good; he was cast as Christian, after all. But watching him sing was something else. Koushi found himself entranced by Daichi every time he opened his mouth. He found himself wanting to work with Daichi and only Daichi. It was becoming a problem.
Towards the end of their first month of rehearsal, Takeda provided Koushi with an excellent opportunity to work one on one with Daichi.
"Alright, so in a few rehearsals, we're going to start working on blocking, as well working on solos and duets," Takeda announced. "Hopefully you all have started looking at those, but if you haven't, now would be a good opportunity to start.
"If you guys have parts you want to work on with me individually, you're more than welcome to schedule something with me," Koushi chimed in. "See me after rehearsal and I'll give you my number."
Takeda ended rehearsal soon after. A few people took Koushi up on his offer of private sessions, coming up to the piano to swap numbers with him. Koushi was pleased to find that Daichi was one of them.
"Is it okay if Yui and I come in together to work on 'Come What May?'" Daichi asked. "We wanted to work on it a bit beforehand so we get used to making lovey eyes at each other while singing and not crack up while doing so."
"Is that a problem you guys have been having?" Koushi asked knowing full well that it was.
"Yeah, just a bit," Daichi said, giving Koushi a sheepish grin. "She's like a sister, so it gets a bit weird sometimes."
"Have you guys tried it with the recording?"
"We have, but we wanted to try it with just the instrumentation," Daichi explained.
Koushi nodded, "Yeah, we can work something out then. If you wanted to, we could start tomorrow."
"We definitely could," Daichi offered.
Koushi ignored his inner monologue's screams of celebration.
"Sounds good to me."
***
Listen to my heart. Can you hear it sing, and telling me to give you everything?
***
"Daichi was saying that you two were having a hard time keeping straight faces during 'Come What May'," Koushi said, taking a seat on the piano bench.
The room had cleared out pretty quick at the end of rehearsal, leaving Koushi alone with Yui and Daichi. The pair stood next to the piano, exchanging sheepish glances.
"You'd think we'd be used to it after years of playing love interests," Yui commented.
Koushi nodded, then turned to the piano. He played a few bars of 'Come What May', then turned back to the leads.
"So, this song is the love song of the musical," Koushi explained. "I know that 'Elephant Love Medley' is what people think of first, but as far as the love songs in Moulin Rouge go, 'Come What May' is more important. This is the part where Satine and Christian pledge their undying devotion to each other. This is the song that gets the reprise."
Daichi and Yui nodded, their expressions earnest. Koushi found it endearing.
"I want you two to visualize something for me when you sing it," Koushi continued. "Think of the one thing in your life that you love more than anything. Whatever that thing is, picture it, visualize it, sing to it. Yui, I see you blushing. You thinking of Kiyoko?"
Yui's face went pink. She mumbled something that Koushi assumed was an affirmative. Koushi gave her an encouraging grin as she covered her face with her hands.
"No, don't be embarrassed, you love her! You're getting married to her next year! I should know, Kiyoko asked me to be her best man."
"I know, Kiyoko's the most amazing woman in the world. It's just a little embarrassed to be read that easily," Yui groaned from behind her hands.
"Listen, I don't blame you for being head over heels, Kiyoko's an incredible woman," Koushi said. "Channel your love for her into the song, and you're golden."
Yui nodded, pulling her hands away from her scarlet face. Koushi turned to Daichi and raised an eyebrow.
"How about you, Christian?" Koushi teased. "Got someone in your life to motivate your passion?"
Daichi rubbed the back of his neck as he replied, "Right now? I mean, sort of. I wouldn't call it love, it hasn't been that long. Maybe an infatuation? I want something to come out of it, because it'd be great motivation, like you said. I just need to think about it a bit more."
Koushi almost missed the meaningful look Yui threw Daichi. Almost.
"Well, hopefully it becomes something a little stronger than an infatuation," Koushi said. "I'd love to see where it could take you."
The way Daichi said, "Me too" nearly knocked Koushi flat. The way that his eyes lingered on Koushi just long enough left whisperings of hope in Koushi's heart. Maybe, just maybe, Daichi was thinking about him.
***
Seasons may change winter to spring, but I love you until the end of time. Come what may, come what may, I will love you until my dying day.
***
As the second month of rehearsals progressed, more and more people began asking Koushi for one on one sessions. It was fun for Koushi to run the sessions—his favorite so far aside from Daichi and Yui's duet had been Ryuu and Akiteru's rendition of 'Like a Virgin'. But it left Koushi in a bit of a conundrum. On the one hand, he loved that everyone had enough enthusiasm for the production that they wanted to take on extra rehearsals. On the other hand, more private sessions with the others meant less private lessons with Daichi, especially since Koushi had to learn all of the songs and learn lines. He understood why Takeda had cast him as the Bohemian piano player; it was a fun stylistic thing to have the orchestra gradually appear onstage as the show progressed. But still, the less professional part of Koushi was mad that it was cutting into his time with Daichi.
The universe had a habit of dropping good things into Koushi's lap, however. Yui started showing up to less one on one sessions, stating that she had her parts down pretty well. Eventually, she stopped showing up to them altogether. Koushi had a sneaking suspicion that Yui had done this on purpose, but he also wasn't about to call her out for it. He appreciated the alone time with Daichi.
"You've improved," Koushi noted during one session. He and Daichi had been running through his part in 'El Tango de Roxanne' and Daichi had perfectly embodied the sad jealousy needed in their last runthrough.
"Thank you," Daichi said, draping himself dramatically across the back rim of the piano. "I've had lots of inspiration recently."
"Oho?" Koushi chuckled. "Feeling jealous about something?"
"Truth be told, yes," Daichi admitted. "My muse for 'Come What May' has been busy with other people recently. It's a little hard to not be jealous."
"I didn't take you as the jealous type," Koushi said, ignoring the nervous fluttering in his chest.
Daichi didn't respond for a beat; he was too busy studying Koushi. Koushi shifted in his seat. There was something in the way Daichi looked at him. It was intense.
"Can we run through my part of 'Come What May' next?" Daichi asked. His voice barely rose above a whisper.
Koushi swallowed—was it always that hard to swallow?—and nodded. He stumbled over the first few bars, earning a soft chuckle from Daichi. Koushi stuck his tongue out at Daichi and started again. He gave Daichi a nod when it was his time to come in. As Daichi's voice filled the room, Koushi felt himself fall a little bit more in love with Daichi. No, he wasn't just falling in love. Koushi jolted, fingers stumbling over the keys and bringing the song to a grinding halt.
"Um, Koushi?" Daichi asked.
"I-It's fine," Koushi stammered, getting to his feet. "I just need a quick break. Be back in 10."
Before Daichi could stop him, Koushi bolted from the room. Once he was far enough away, he stopped, leaned against the nearest wall, and gasped for breath. He wasn't just falling in love with Daichi. No, he was deeply, madly in love with him.
So much for professional integrity.
***
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place. Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace. Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste. It all revolves around you.
***
"An entire rehearsal dedicated to kissing practice seems a bit much," Daichi commented as Koushi set up the piano.
It had been a few weeks since Koushi's revelation. To his credit, he had made it back to the room to continue his session with Daichi. And there had been no further incidents since then. Koushi had been keeping it together, thank you very much. Plus they were three weeks out to opening night, he had no choice but to keep it together.
He was a little surprised that Daichi wanted to continue one on one sessions. Daichi didn't need the help, he had his lines and lyrics memorized. Hell, he'd had them memorized a month and a half in. But he still insisted on meeting with Koushi whenever he could. Koushi tried to not read too much into it. Tried.
"Well, sometimes actors need it," Koushi said. "Even if they've been friends for years."
"I know, it just seems like a lot."
"No such thing as too much practice," Koushi reminded him. "Speaking of, what are we working on today?"
"'Come What May'?" Daichi asked.
"Daichi, you've had that one down for months," Koushi pointed out. "Do you really need to run through it?"
Daichi shrugged. "I just like running through it with you."
And wasn't that telling.
"How about we run through the reprise version," Koushi compromised.
"Are you going to sing Satine's part?" Daichi teased.
"I could, but it won't sound anywhere near as good as Yui's version," Koushi said.
Daichi gestured for Koushi to start. Koushi inhaled, exhaled, and began to play. Just a few bars, then he began to sing, "Never knew I could feel like this, it's like I've never seen the sky before. Want to vanish inside your kiss, every day I'm loving you more and more. Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings? Come back to me, and forgive everything."
Daichi sat down on the bench next to Koushi, his eyes never leaving Koushi. Koushi blushed, but continued, "Seasons may change, winter to spring. I love you, until my dying day."
Daichi joined in, "Come what may, come what may, come what may, come what may-"
"Come what may-"
"I will love you, until my dying day," they finished in harmony.
It wasn't until Daichi pressed his lips to Koushi's that he realized how close the two had gotten. Koushi let his eyes slip shut, enjoying one blissful moment before the imminent crash of anxiety. He braced himself against the piano bench as Daichi pushed forward, his fingers threading into Koushi's hair. Koushi moaned, a soft whine of a noise, as he placed a hand on Daichi's chest and pushed. Daichi opened his eyes, confusion evident in those soft brown eyes that made Koushi weak.
"Daichi, we can't do this," Koushi whispered. "Not now."
"Koushi-."
Koushi shook his head, trying his hardest not to start crying at the look of hurt on Daichi's face. "I want- I want nothing more than for this to happen," Koushi said, "believe me, I really do. I've wanted this for months, Daichi. But I'm your Musical Director. This can't happen while I'm still your Musical Director. If we started something, people would claim nepotism. If we broke up, imagine what would happen to the show. It just… can't."
Daichi studied Koushi for a moment, then nodded. He moved back from Koushi, then got to his feet. He grabbed his stuff and headed for the door.
"Daichi," Koushi called.
He could hear Daichi pause.
"It's not a 'no'," he said. "It's a 'wait until the production's over'."
"Come what may," was Daichi's only response, and then he was gone.
As the door closed behind Daichi, Koushi broke.
***
And there's no mountain too high, no river too wide. Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side. Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide, but I love you until the end of time.
***
The two week run was a smash hit. Critics loved it, audiences loved it, it was everything Takeda wanted it to be. He hadn't been sure how the production would turn out; both Christian and the Musical Director had sudden, incredibly noticeable changes in mood, but things had been fine in the end. Moulin Rouge was a success.
Koushi avoided the cast party the night the run ended. As soon as he was out of costume, Koushi had left the theater without a backward glance. Things between he and Daichi had taken a turn for the worse after they kissed. Daichi stopped coming to one on one sessions, his performance during 'Come What May' was lacking. It was week one all over again, and Koushi knew it was his fault. It didn't help matters that he did his own fair share of sulking. It got so bad that Takeda had canceled rehearsal one day, unable to stand what Daichi and Koushi were doing to the production's atmosphere. Ryuu, Asahi, and Yuu had dragged Daichi out of the theater while Yui had pulled Koushi aside to lecture him. It quickly turned into a coffee date where Koushi could word vomit his feelings at Yui.
"Koushi, you turned him down," Yui had pointed out.
"I just spent five minutes telling you my feelings and that was your takeaway?"
Yui had made a face at Koushi, then moved right into her lecture, "Well, yeah. He made a move on him, you told him not right now. The way I see it, you two just need to move passed the awkwardness and things will sort themselves out. So quit moping, you're killing the vibe of the show. This show's about freedom, beauty, and above all, love. Right?"
Things improved with Daichi after that. They were still incredibly awkward with one another, but they were congenial. Takeda was willing to let them be, and the show went on. They survived the last two weeks of rehearsal and two weeks of performances, then it was over. Koushi knew Daichi wanted to talk to him, but Koushi couldn't bring himself to be alone with him yet. He was scared, scared that Daichi was going to reject him after he rejected Daichi. He needed time.
So he went home without a word to anyone. He made himself the spiciest tofu he could, then collapsed onto his couch. Koushi was ready to sleep for the next thousand years.
The universe had other plans. Koushi's phone went off, ringing once, twice. He fished it out of his pocket, accepting the call without looking at the screen.
"Hello?"
"How come you're not at the after party?" Daichi asked.
Koushi froze. Panic set in.
"I never really go to after parties," he said, aware that he sounded like he was lying.
"Koushi, I've seen the photos on Facebook."
Okay, yeah, he was busted.
"I don't know, I just didn't feel like going," Koushi explained.
Daichi was silent. Koushi would have guessed that the call was dropped if it weren't for the sounds of a standard cast party in the background.
"Daichi?"
"Can you meet me in the park? The one by the theater?" Daichi asked. "I want to talk to you."
Koushi wanted to say no. He so badly wanted to say no.
"I'll meet you there in fifteen minutes," he whispered.
"See you there," Daichi said.
Koushi's phone beeped; Daichi had ended the call. With a sigh, Koushi put his tofu in the fridge. He grabbed his coat, put his shoes on and left. He had a meeting to get to.
***
Come what may, come what may, I will love you until my dying day. Oh come what may, come what may, I will love you.
***
The cold, November air nipped at the tip of Koushi's nose. He cursed himself for not grabbing his scarf, but there was nothing he could do about that. He had promised Daichi that he'd be at the park, and damn it, he was going to stick to his promise. Now, if only Daichi would do the same. Daichi was actually five minutes late, by Koushi's count. The longer he stood there, the more Koushi started to worry that Daichi had stood him up. Which would be fair, considering the mental bullshit Koushi had subjected him to.
The sound of footsteps caught Koushi's attention. He turned, and there was Daichi. Daichi smiled at Koushi, then started walking towards him, his movements slow.
"You said you wanted to talk?" Koushi called to him.
"Never knew, I could feel like this-"
Koushi cocked his head to the side, "Daichi, what are you doing?"
"-it's like I've never seen the sky before."
Realization hit Koushi like a train. An embarrassing and emotionally overwhelming, but incredibly welcome realization.
"Daichi, oh my god, we're in public."
"Want to vanish inside your kiss-"
"I can't believe you."
"-every day I love you more and more."
"This is unfair, I helped you learn this song."
Daichi stepped close enough to grab Koushi's hands.
"Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing? Come back to me and forgive everything."
Koushi pressed his forehead to Daichi's shoulder as he said, "Daichi, that's not even your part."
Daichi paused. Koushi lifted his head, and Daichi cupped his cheek."Seasons may change, winter to spring," Daichi whispered as he caressed Koushi's cheek.
"Daichi, please-," Koushi whispered back, tears threatening to spill out of his eyes.
"I love you, until my dying day."
"Daichi," Koushi sobbed.
"Come what may, come what may, I will love you until my dying day."
Koushi couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed the lapels of Daichi's jacket and dragged him into a bruising kiss. Daichi responded in kind, wrapping his arms around Koushi's waist. When Koushi pulled back for air, Daichi pushed forward, kissing him with all the desperation of a man who had been separated from his lover for years.
"Daichi, I'm so sorry," Koushi whispered against his lips.
Daichi pulled back to rest his forehead against Koushi's, his breath coming to him in ragged pants.
"Don't apologize," he told Koushi. "You did the professional thing."
"Avoiding you wasn't professional," Koushi countered.
"We're both guilty of that," Daichi said. "But believe me, Sugawara Koushi, I love you. And I want to be with you. Even after all of that, I still want to be with you. You make me feel whole."
Koushi kissed Daichi again, softer than he had before. Daichi melted into the kiss, drawing Koushi in close.
"Be mine?" Daichi asked when they parted for air.
"You can't get rid of me now, Sawamura," Koushi teased, his eyes gleaming with tears and unbridled joy. "You sang a love song at me."
***
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place. Come what may, come what may, I will love you until my dying day.