Archive of Our Own

Morven had been the final straw. When she had come into AAU one dark winter morning, eyes filled with tears, a bruise forming on her cheek and without her bag, Serena knew that something had to be done. She watched as Fletch and Donna bundled Morven off to the break room for some tea to sooth her nerves before storming up to Hanssen’s office.

She burst in through the door, not bothering to knock, and found Hanssen at his desk.

“Ms Campbell,” he said in greeting. His voice was calm and steady and he showed no surprise at the unorthodox manner in which Serena had arrived in front of him. “To what do we owe this pleasure?”

“It’s happened again,” she said, trying to catch her breath. She’d taken the stairs at some speed, too angry to wait for the lift.

Hanssen raised one eyebrow. “To whom?”

He gestured to the chair in front of the desk and Serena sank into it gratefully.

“Morven.”

Hanssen just nodded, his eyes fixed on Serena.

“We’ve got to do something Henrik. We cannot have someone stalking the hospital grounds and mugging our staff. That’s three times now. We have a duty of care both to our patients and our colleagues.”

She closed her eyes and dragged her hand across her face. Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I can’t let it happen to anyone else.”

Hanssen nodded. “I’ll phone the police right away. Morven can give them her statement and they can search the grounds.”

“It’s not enough though,” she said, her eyes pleading with him, “They did that last time and found nothing.”

“I’ll see about getting some extra security in the car park during the hours of darkness.”

Serena nodded. “Thank you. It’s a start but I’m sure there is more we could do.” She sighed and stood up. “I’d better get back to the ward. Don’t want to leave AAU two doctors down.”

Hanssen had picked up the phone and dialled the police before she even managed to exit the room. She took the lift back down to AAU and walked into the office to find Morven sat in the visitor’s chair, Bernie next to her passing her tissues.

“Morven,” Serena said, kneeling down in front of her and taking one of her hands in hers, “Are you okay?”

Morven looked up at her and gave her a weak smile. “I will be. Everyone has been so kind. Ms Wolfe said I could stay here until I’m ready.”

Serena shot Bernie a grateful smile. Bernie ducked her head, a slight pinking of her cheeks visible.

“I’d better get back out on the ward,” Bernie said, eyes on the floor. She squeezed Morven’s shoulder and left the office. Serena’s eyes tracked her as she crossed the ward and disappeared out of sight.

Serena turned her focus back onto Morven. “Ms Wolfe is right. You can stay here as long as you need. Hanssen has called the police and I expect they’ll want you to give them a statement.”

Morven nodded. Her eyes were dry now, the tears running out finally. “Thank you Ms Campbell.”

“I’ve got some paper work to get on with so I’ll stay in the office with you for a while. If you feel like being busy would help, just let me know and you can head back out on the ward.”

Morven went back onto the ward as soon as she had given her statement to the police. They had arrived quickly but, as usual, there was no trace of the mugger in the grounds and Morven’s description was sketchy at best. They’d left with a promise to get in touch if they found out anything but no one expected them to.

No sooner had Serena got her office back to herself than the red phone began to ring. Bernie poked her head around the office door to let Serena know she would be required in surgery shortly. She jumped up and went to the locker room to change into scrubs.

Bernie was already scrubbing in when she arrived, the patient under the care of the anaesthetist for the moment. Serena reached for the tap next to her and turned it on, the torrent of water splashing over her hands.

“What did the police say?” Bernie asked after a moment.

“Just the usual, they’re sorry it happened but until they have some evidence, there is little they can do.” Serena sighed. “I wish there was more we could do to help.”

A wet hand reached across and squeezed hers quickly. “Maybe there is. We just need to put our heads together.”

“Albie’s later?” Serena suggested. “There is a rather large bottle of red with my name on it after today.”

“If you’re buying…” Bernie’s voice dropped an octave. It had a strange effect on Serena that she couldn’t work out. It always did.

Blushing slightly, she nodded. “I suppose I might be willing to share a little of my bottle with a good friend.”

Bernie grinned at her and Serena couldn’t help but smile back.

Albie’s was busy, full of hospital staff celebrating the end of a long shift. Serena pushed her way to the bar and ordered a bottle of Shiraz and two glasses. She looked back over her shoulder to find Bernie had claimed a small table in the corner. Fletch and Morven sat with her, already with drinks in hand. They slid over as she went to join them and she found herself squeezed in the corner and pressed against Bernie.

“Just what the doctor ordered!” Bernie said as Serena poured her a large glass of wine.

Serena raised an eyebrow. “You do realise that that joke stopped being funny as soon as we were out of medical school,” she commented as Bernie giggled away to herself. “Ridiculous woman!”

“Anyway,” Serena said, drawing her eyes away from Bernie, “Has anyone come up with any ideas to help stop these muggings?”

Bernie’s giggles stopped immediately and she shook her head, eyes on the table.

“Nothing that doesn’t involve armed guards with attack dogs roaming the hospital grounds,” Fletch said, “But I’m not sure Hanssen would go for that.”

“I think you might be right,” Serena said. She sighed. “I just want to do something. I don’t want anything else happening to the people I care about.”

She reached over and gripped Morven’s hand. “You shouldn’t have had to go through that Morven and I’ll be damned if I let anyone else.”

Morven gave her a small smile. There was a pause before she spoke. “I’ve been thinking,” she said eventually in a quiet voice, “When I was attacked. I wish I’d know some like karate or something.”

She looked around at the small group.

“Go on,” Serena prompted, “I think you might be onto something.”

“Well I just didn’t know how to defend myself at all. I’ve seen little videos online and stuff but when it actually came down to it, I couldn’t remember anything.”

“It’s always different when you haven’t practised,” Bernie put in. “It’s much easier to cope in stressful situations when you’ve planned and practised for every eventuality beforehand. That’s why the army is so big on drills. You need to be on autopilot so that you can still perform when the situation gets hot.”

Serena felt a stab of pain through her heart as she thought about the types of stressful situations Bernie was talking about. Bernie seemed to sense her distress and placed her hand on Serena’s knee, comforting her instantly. She placed her own hand on top of Bernie’s and squeezed.

“So what you are saying is that we need to form some kind of fight club?” she asked, one eyebrow raised. “Because I definitely can’t get that past the board.”

Bernie’s cheeks were gently pinking. “No, no. Just self-defence classes.”

“Yes.” Morven said, her eyes bright, “That sounds really good.”

“I know someone, ex-army buddy, that runs some locally. Shall I see if they can come and run some classes here?”

 “Well?” Bernie asked as Serena entered their office after the board meeting. She’d dressed up for the occasion and was armed with all the facts about self-defence that her and Bernie had managed to dig up in the past week.

Serena smiled. “They said yes.”

Bernie jumped out of her seat and ran up to Serena. There was a moment of awkwardness before Serena reached out for her and pulled her into a quick hug.

“It’s all thanks to you,” Serena said as they drew apart. “That information about drills in the army really tipped the balance.”

“I’ll ring my friend now, get some availability from her. I was meaning to catch up with her anyway,” Bernie said.

She pulled her mobile out of her pocket and dialled. Serena listened expectantly to the half of the phone conversation she could hear.

“Hi Georgie, it’s Bernie.”

“I’m good.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I kept meaning to but…” Bernie grimaced.

“Yes that sounds good.” The grimace turned into a small smile.

“Oh. Right. Yeah. I suppose I never…” Bernie’s face was turning red rapidly. She glanced nervously at Serena. Serena got the message that Bernie didn’t want to talk about something personal with her in the room. She reached over, squeezed Bernie’s hand and then began to leave the office, just overhearing a small snatch more of the conversation before the door closed.

“I’ll fill you in later. Listen I need to ask you something. Are you still doing those self-defence classes? Because I’ve got some potential work for you here.”

The door shut firmly behind her, Serena headed onto the ward to pass on the good news to Morven. She deserved thanks as well since it was her idea in the first place. Serena decided she needed to take the whole team out for a drink soon to celebrate and plan their next line of attack.

Georgie had readily agreed to run the classes and it had been decided that they should run three days a week at different times to account for the different shifts that the hospital personnel worked. Bernie volunteered to make posters and she brought her first attempt in to show Serena later that week.

Serena burst out laughing the moment she saw it. Bernie had tried to draw a picture of a scrub-clad doctor fighting off a cartoon-like attacker. It was a nice idea but Bernie’s drawing skills were just not up to it. The mugger’s arms and legs were far too long and the doctor must have been some kind of contortionist to be able to get his body into that position. Bernie had added to the effect by writing the name of the course and the times in bubble writing giving the overall impression that a ten year old had made the whole thing.

Tears ran down Serena’s face as she tried to control her laughter. Bernie looked disappointed and tried to take the poster back from Serena.

“I’ll have another go,” she said quietly as she ripped it up and put it in the bin.

Serena wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry Bernie,” she said contritely. “That was very rude of me. You clearly tried very hard.”

 “Spent all last night working on it,” Bernie said, refusing to meet Serena’s gaze.

Serena reached out and patted her hand. “Bernie you are the greatest trauma surgeon I’ve had the privilege of meeting. You are innovative, caring and determined.”

Bernie slowly lifted her head.

“But I don’t think that art is one of your strengths,” Serena continued.

Bernie nodded sadly.

“So maybe we should pass it over to marketing and let them have a go instead?”

Bernie nodded again.

“I just wanted to help,” she whispered.

Serena smiled. “I know. But you are doing more than enough helping sort out Georgie. You concentrate on that and let other people sort out the rest.”

Serena patted Bernie’s arm.  She really hated seeing Bernie so sad and dejected.

“Why don’t you head out onto the ward while I make some headway in the paperwork?” she offered.

Bernie looked warily at the precarious pile of files on her desk. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. Go and do something you are really good at and let me take care of that. It’ll be better for everyone,” Serena said, urging Bernie out of the office. She knew that Bernie just needed a little time, and hopefully some time in theatre, and then she would be her usual confident self again. Tackling Bernie’s paperwork for her was a minor price to pay to get a smile back on Berenice Wolfe’s face.

Serena turned up to the first class reluctantly dressed in her work-out gear. She didn’t like it, didn’t like how it made her look, emphasising that she was not as young as she liked to think she was. Definitely didn’t like the fact that when she wore it, she had to do exercise. But she couldn’t just not turn up, not when Bernie had worked hard to put it all together and actually do something to help the mugging situation. So she made an appearance, made sure she was early, and made sure that everything was going to plan.

Bernie was already there when she reached the meeting room. The porters had done a great job of shifting the tables and chairs out of the way and there was a large space in the middle of the room covered in gym mats. Bernie was stood by the side, her friend next to her, laughing away at something. She looked up as Serena entered the room.

“Serena! You came!” Bernie bounded over to her like an overly enthusiastic puppy, albeit one dressed in skin tight lycra that Serena suddenly had an urge to touch. “Come and meet Georgie!”

Serena followed Bernie over to her friend. Georgie was young, much younger than Serena had been expecting. Her long dark hair was tied up in a ponytail and her toned body was kitted out in leggings and a sports bra. Feeling even more dowdy than before, Serena smiled at the woman, trying desperately to fight down the jealously.

Georgie stuck out her hand as Serena approached. “Hi, you must be Serena. Bernie’s told me loads about you.”

Serena took her hand and shook it. “Thanks for doing this Georgie. I expect Bernie’s filled you in on the situation.”

“Oh yes. Bernie fully filled me in on the situation last night over a drink.”

She giggled and Serena couldn’t miss the scared look that Bernie shot at her. Nor could she miss the way that there was no distance between Georgie and Bernie as they stood in front of her. Was there something going on between them? Was that what Georgie had been insinuating happened last night? She dropped Georgie’s hand and took a step back.

“Good good,” she said, trying to remind herself that what Bernie got up to in her own time was none of her business and that the strange feeling in the pit of her stomach was probably just nerves about the upcoming class. “Everything set up okay? I expect we’ll get the first few arrivals in the next few minutes.”

“Yes. Bernie’s been really helpful. I’m all ready to go as soon as we get a few more attendees. I do hope you’re staying for this one.”

Bernie was glancing between them now, her earlier bounciness gone. Serena stood in the middle of the room, feeling very awkward. It was a strange sensation. Usually she felt secure and confident in all situations but Georgie had thrown her, what with her good looks and youth and the fact that Bernie Wolfe just couldn’t keep away from her. Georgie reached out a hand to Bernie and squeezed her arm and as Bernie smiled back, Serena had to turn away. She didn’t want to witness this, felt like she was intruding. She wished she’d not decided to arrive early.

Just at the point that she was going to make an excuse and hurry away, Dom’s head stuck around the door.

“Is this the right place for the self-defence class?” he asked and Serena took the opportunity to take charge of the situation again.

“Yes Dom, come on in. Anyone else from Keller coming down for this one?”

Serena had to admit that Georgie was good. Really good. She was patient with the class and encouraged them through the moves. She clearly explained the hows and whys of the different moves and had them practising them over and over until they were confident. She’d brought some pads with her that they used in pairs to practise simple punches and open handed pushes. Serena was very glad of the gym mats when she was paired with an over-enthusiastic Ric Griffin and she ended up on her bum.

In a second, Bernie was at her side, pushing Ric out of the way. “Serena? Are you okay?”

Georgie had called the rest of the class to a halt to check on Serena. She approached from behind Bernie.

“I’m fine, just a bit of a shock that’s all.” She accepted a hand from Bernie and clambered back onto her feet. “Nothing bruised except from my pride!”

“I’m so sorry Serena,” Ric said, “I didn’t realise how strong I was.”

Bernie spun around and faced him. “You should be more careful next time.” Her voice was deep and quiet, betraying her anger.

“Bernie leave it,” Georgie said, “I’ll deal with this.”

Bernie showed no sign of moving. She crowded in on Ric, her eyes blazing.

Serena grabbed her arm and tried to pull her away.  Ric had lost his usual bravado faced with an irate ex-army medic and was starting to look like a rabbit in headlights.

“Bernie, stop. He didn’t mean it. I probably wasn’t stood right anyway, lost my balance.”

It took a couple of seconds before Serena’s words seemed to penetrate through the cloud of fury surrounding Bernie. She took a deep breath, and allowed Serena to pull her backwards towards the chairs at the back of the room.

“We’re going to sit here until you’ve calmed yourself down,” Serena said, nodding at Georgie to continue the session. She kept her grip on Bernie’s arm and rubbed circles with her thumb to calm her.

Bernie was already sagging in the chair, her anger seeping away. “Thank you,” she whispered, “I’m sorry. It was just a bit of a shock seeing you there on the floor. I thought you might be badly hurt.”

Serena smiled at her. “I’m fine. Completely. One of the advantages of having a bit of padding on my rear end!”

Bernie’s ears pinked slightly at the comment.

Georgie came over once everyone was working on the next move together.

“Everything okay Bernie,” she said, eyes focussed purely on her and barely even noticing Serena sat beside her.

Bernie nodded and looked up at Georgie. “I’m sorry for my outburst Georgie. Guess I need to do a little more work on controlling my anger.”

“Plus a little work on not controlling your more positive emotions!” Georgie said with a wink, her eyes drawn to the small motions Serena’s thumb was still making on Bernie’s arm.

“Ha! Funny!” Bernie said, standing up and allowing Serena’s hand to drop from her arm.

“Think you can manage the rest of the session without attempting to assault any more of your colleagues?” Georgie asked.

Bernie nodded.

“Then you can join back in. And then afterwards you are taking me for a drink to apologise for disrupting my class.”

“Yes miss,” Bernie replied meekly.

“And maybe we can have a discussion about feelings and how we should be reacting?”

Bernie blushed and glanced at Serena who was beginning to feel like she was missing something in this conversation. She looked back at Georgie for a moment and nodded, her cheeks still burning.

“Right let’s get back to it. Serena are you okay to go back with Ric? And Bernie you’re with me.”

The classes continued, week after week. There was a lot of repetition and each week they’d run over what they had already learnt. Serena could really feel herself improving though, and she could see that the rest of the class were as well. With the ever challenging shift patterns in the hospital, it was a slightly different group each time and so she got to work with lots of different colleagues, including many people she hadn’t had a chance to meet yet. One week she worked with a lovely new nurse from obs and gynae who regaled her with horror stories about births gone wrong as they pushed each other around. The next week she was with Elle from ED. The week after that landed her with Xavier Duval who, while trying to show off to his boss, managed to trip over his own feet, bash his head on the floor and nearly give himself concussion. Serena picked him up and dusted him down while trying to supress her laughter fairly successfully.

Each time that Bernie ended up in the same class as her, Serena hoped that they would get a chance to partner up. She assumed they would work well together, they did in everything else so why not this? But every time, Bernie ended up partnered with Georgie.  Sometimes this was because Georgie needed someone who already knew the moves to demonstrate for the class. Other times, when Serena approached Bernie, she seemed to turn away from her and almost desperately grab Georgie’s arm.

Serena observed the pair of them from the back of class week after week. She watched how both of their bodies moved easily and comfortably with each other, how they seemed to be in sync with each other. She was the last leaving the class one week and caught a glimpse of Georgie pressing a kiss to Bernie’s cheek as she helped her tidy up the room. She noted that Bernie was rushing off at the end of her shift more often than not to meet Georgie in various pubs and bars around the city. And when Bernie turned up one Wednesday morning looking particularly dishevelled and wearing the same clothes she had been wearing the previous day, Serena was unable to deny what was in front of her. It was clear that Bernie and Georgie were together. And what was clearer than that was that Bernie didn’t want to tell her about it. Serena had assumed that they were friends, close friends but Bernie mustn’t. What other reason could there be for her not to tell Serena the good news?

However hard she tried, Serena just couldn’t get the hang of the new move Georgie was trying to teach them that week. She’d watched carefully as Georgie had taken them step by step through it, suing Bernie to demonstrate. She’d worked with Ric, then Dom and finally Georgie herself, while Bernie watched on with jealous eyes. They’d gone slowly to start with and then tried picking up speed but each time, instead of her opponent ending up on the floor, it was her that lay flat on her back across the gym mats. She was bruised, battered and annoyed at herself for being unable to do what the rest of her colleagues seemed to find straight forward.

She stalked out of the room when the session finished, straight past Georgie who seemed to be asking Bernie if she wanted to head over to Albie’s and headed directly for her office, slamming the door behind her, wanting to shut out the world until her emotions returned to normal. She was very glad that she didn’t have to work now, could go straight home now that her shift had finished. The anger she felt was tinged with guilt. Guilt at letting herself get so worked up about not being able to do something. But she was so used to being able to pick new skills up quickly and easily that she had forgot how it felt when they were difficult and you had to work hard, day after day , at them.

She grabbed her coat off the stand and her handbag from her desk drawer and was about to head down to the car park when there was a knock at the door. She sighed and debated hiding under the desk so that no one could find her. The doctor in her wouldn’t allow her to do that though, just in case it was a life or death situation.

“This had better be urgent,” she called out as she swung the door open to find Bernie stood on the other side.

She stopped for a moment, confused. “Why are you knocking to come into your own office?”

“Oh, um, I thought you might not want company,” Bernie said, her eyes on the floor. They flicked up to Serena’s face for a moment and then returned to their scrutiny of the floor covering. “I wanted to see if you were alright though. You left in a bit of a hurry.”

“I’m fine,” Serena lied, “Just going to head home now. Shouldn’t you be in Albie’s with Georgie?”

Bernie raised her head to look at Serena again. “Georgie told me to come and check on you instead. I think Dom offered to take her instead.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Serena didn’t quite know what to make of that. It seemed rather odd to her that Bernie would abandon her girlfriend with Dominic Copeland of all people.

“Do you want to come over to mine for dinner?” Bernie asked, her voice quiet. “I feel like I haven’t seen much of you recently.”

“Are you cooking?” Serena asked, one eyebrow raised. She’d never know Bernie to cook anything more impressive than cheese on toast.

Bernie grinned. “No but the Chinese round the corner from my flat is very good.”

Serena only had to think for a moment. Sure, if she went back to her own house, she’d have a lovely quiet evening with a plate of home cooked food. But Bernie was right. They hadn’t seen much of each other recently. A combination of opposite shifts, self- defence lessons and Bernie spending time with Georgie meant that it had been quite a while since they’d had the chance to even grab a drink together at Albie’s.

“Ok. That would be nice.”

Bernie’s face split into a warm smile. “Give me five minutes to change and then we can head over.”

Bernie was right. The Chinese round the corner was very good. Serena dug into her food with relish and didn’t notice that Bernie hadn’t taken her eyes off her. She pushed the bowl away from her once she had finished, patting her full stomach.

“That was lovely Bernie. Thanks for the invite.”

Bernie smiled. “It’s nice to have you here.”

Serena glanced around the room. “Have you been doing some redecorating since I was last here? It looks nicer somehow.”

“Oh yeah. Georgie suggested that it might be nice if I didn’t live in a hovel.”

Serena’s stomach twisted at the mention of Georgie. “Oh Bernie it was never that bad, just a little bleak. Looks better now, more homely.”

“Most of it was Georgie’s ideas. I’ve no idea when it comes to this sort of thing,” Bernie said.

Serena took a deep breath and remembered that she did actually like Georgie, whatever the thought of her and Bernie together did to her. “How is Georgie anyway? You two are always too engrossed in each other at the end of the classes to let me get a word in edgeways!”

“Oh, she’s fine I suppose. We’ve been helping each other get over the shock of civilian life.”

“Must be lovely to have someone who understands the position you’re in,” Serena said. Her heart sunk. No wonder Bernie and Georgie were so good for each other. However good a friend she was, she was never going to be someone who could properly empathise with what Bernie had been through while serving in the army.

Bernie smiled. “Yeah. I’ve not had that since me and Alex… well…” She looked down at the table and seemed to sink into herself.

Serena leant over the table and gripped Bernie’s arm. “Since you and Alex broke up?”

Bernie nodded but wouldn’t meet Serena’s gaze.

“It’s okay. You can talk about it with me. I’m not going to judge you for the affair. Goodness knows you had different motivations to Edward. I know you. I know you are better than him,” Serena reassured.

Bernie looked up into her eyes. “Thank you.”

Serena smiled back at her. “You are very welcome.”

Her eyes caught on Bernie’s and they sat there, staring at each other and smiling. Serena felt her heart rate drop and an overwhelming calmness spread over her whole body. Her world shrunk to just her and Bernie and she didn’t want it any other way.

 Bernie’s phone rang, jolting them back into the real world. The unfamiliar noise caused Serena to drop her hand from Bernie’s arm and Bernie reached for her mobile across the table.

“It’s Georgie…”

For a moment, Serena thought she might snatch the phone from Bernie and fling it against the wall.

“Take it. I’ll make a start on the washing up,” she said instead, piling up the bowls and practically running into the kitchen.

She wished that there was a door to close between them so that she wouldn’t have to hear the conversation but no such luck in Bernie’s flat. She turned on the water and clattered the plates enough that she only caught the odd word from the dining room. Words like “Georgie” and “tonight” and “bed”. She assumed that Georgie was asking if she could come over tonight, once Bernie had got rid of her. A strange feeling filled the pit of her stomach as she tried not to imagine Georgie and Bernie together in bed.

She shook herself. She had to get a grip on this jealously thing. It wasn’t like Bernie wasn’t her friend anymore, tonight had proved that. They could still spend time together and talk and carry on like normal. She had absolutely nothing to be jealous of. Really she should be happy that Bernie, her best friend in the whole world, had found a lovely partner like Georgie.

“Everything ok in here?”

Bernie’s voice right behind her caused her to jump.

“What have I said to you about louder shoes?” Serena complained as Bernie laughed.

She chucked a tea towel at Bernie and turned back to the washing up.

“You can dry.”

They worked through the small quantity of washing up in a silence only broken by the sound of crockery being stacked in the cupboards.

“I was thinking,” Bernie said as she placed the last mug in the cupboard, “About the class today.”

Serena groaned. Memories of the class and her behaviour were still raw.

Bernie stepped closer to her. “It’s okay Serena. I just want to help.”

Serena turned to face Bernie. She grabbed the tea towel from her to dry her wet hands.

“Help?” she queried, genuinely curious as to what Bernie had in mind.

“Yes. I thought you might like some extra tuition. One on one so you can get the hang of it before the next class. That’s what I was talking to Georgie about.”

“Oh. Extra tuition with Georgie?”

Bernie blushed. “I asked but she is really busy this week. So I wondered if you would consider letting me teach you instead.”

Bernie was wearing one of her hopeful puppy dog looks. One of the ones that Serena had difficultly saying no to.

“Do you know what you’re doing?” she asked.

Bernie nodded. “Pretty much everything Georgie has taught so far is standard self-defence. I’ve taken enough classes in my time.”

“So why do you keep coming along to the classes at Holby then? Oh don’t tell me, you just want to spend time with Georgie.”

“Not just Georgie,” Bernie said, her voice getting quieter and her eyes hidden behind her fringe.

Ignoring that last comment, Serena took a moment to think through Bernie’s proposal. It made a lot of sense really. She’d be less likely to embarrass herself in front of her colleagues and she’d get to spend more time with Bernie. It was a win-win situation really. So long as the rest of the hospital didn’t find out that the great Serena Campbell needed extra tuition to keep up.

“Okay, you’re on. You can give me private tuition so that I don’t fall behind in the classes as long as no one at the hospital, particularly Dominic Copeland, ever finds out.”

Bernie pushed her fringe back. “Pinkie promise,” she said, holding out her little finger.

Serena raised one eyebrow but lifted her hand and linked her little finger with Bernie’s.

“You are a child,” she commented.

Too tired to do anything except collapse together on Bernie’s sofa with a bottle of Shiraz that night, they left the private tuition until the following day. Bernie knocked on Serena’s door bright and early to be greeted by a grumpy Serena Campbell.

“What time do you call this?” she asked, rubbing her tired eyes, “This is far too early to be looking that good.”

“Well we have to start early if you want to fit in some practice before work,” Bernie argued. She pushed past Serena and into the house. “I’ll give you ten minutes to get yourself changed and have some coffee. I’m just going to rearrange some of your furniture to give us some space.”

Serena groaned but didn’t move an inch. “Good job Jason has already gone to the hospital. I hate to think what he’d say to you wreaking the living room.”

“Away with you now,” Bernie said, “Time is ticking.”

Serena traipsed up the stairs and changed into her workout gear. She pulled a brush half-heartedly through her hair and splashed some water on her face to wake her up. By the time she got downstairs, Bernie had pushed most of the living room furniture aside, laid down some cushions in the middle of the room and boiled the kettle for Serena’s coffee.

“Get that down you quick,” she ordered, handing Serena a steaming mug, “Then we’ll start on some of the practice exercises Georgie’s been through so far.”

Serena thought she might have got used to seeing Bernie work out over the past few weeks but she was still amazed every time. The skin-tight lycra showed off every part of Bernie’s toned body and she could see each muscle moving as she threw punches and kicks. It would have been enough to make her stop and stare if Bernie wasn’t hyperaware of when Serena stopped or even slowed slightly. She was straight in with the encouragement, shouting out to Serena to keep going, exclaiming at how well she was doing. It was enough to make a girl blush!

Everything went swimmingly until Bernie suggested they try the move from that week again. They stepped it through slowly over and over again before Bernie picked up the speed. The first time through at full speed, Serena almost had it. Bernie may not have quite ended up on the floor like she was supposed to but Serena stayed on her feet this time.

“Almost!” Bernie said, “Next time I’m sure you’ll get it.”

“Yes. You’re going down Wolfe!”

They lined themselves up to have another go. Bernie adjusted a couple of the cushions that were trying to escape.

“Ready?” she asked.

“Ready,” replied Serena.

She moved forward towards Bernie, thinking carefully about the position of her arms and legs. Bernie punched her arm towards her and Serena grabbed it, at the same time hooking one of her legs around Bernie’s ankle and pulling. There was a moment where Serena thought it had worked. Bernie was toppling over onto the floor. But then she felt herself leaning as well and suddenly, with a bit of a thud, they were both on the floor, Serena lying on top of Bernie, their legs tangled together. She lay still for a moment, trying to catch her breath, feeling Bernie’s chest move under her as she took in deep breaths.

Serena lifted her head slightly to find Bernie’s nose only a centimetre or so in front of hers. Bernie’s eyes were dark and her breathing was laboured.

“Serena…” Bernie whimpered.

For a second, Serena thought she’d hurt Bernie. Then Bernie’s arms tightened on her torso pulling her closer. And her eyes flickered down to Serena’s lips. And Serena recognised the sound of someone who was very aroused. She glanced down and noticed that one of her knees was pressed rather insistently against Bernie’s groin. She went to move, apologising, but Bernie tightened her grip further and Serena felt every point of contact up and down their bodies. The lycra meant it felt like Bernie was almost naked under her. Their breasts pressed firmly together, and oh that was a sensation she hadn’t expected to like. Bernie lifted her knee so that her thigh was pressed up against Serena. She let out a groan, her eyes flickering closed. It felt good, really good. Was it supposed to? Bernie was her best friend. And she was a woman. And in a relationship. She wasn’t supposed to feel this good pressed against her.

“God Serena,” Bernie moaned.

She moved a hand to the back of Serena’s head and pulled her the last inch towards her. Their lips met gently at first, just testing the waters. Bernie’s lips were soft and pliant. Serena lost all sense of decorum, forgetting all about the fact that Bernie was a woman and her best friend and all about her relationship with Georgie. She pressed her lips more firmly into Bernie’s, moving her hands to sink them into Bernie’s golden waves. She licked along the seam of Bernie’s lips and groaned when Bernie opened her mouth for her tongue. A brief thought sparked through her mind that maybe she’d wanted this all along before her brain gave up on thinking entirely and just sank into the sensation of having Bernie so close and so perfect.

Serena had no concept of how long it had been since they started kissing. Minutes? Hours? Her entire worldview had collapsed down to just the pair of them. She whimpered as Bernie gently pressed them apart, chasing Bernie’s lips and trying to drag them close again.

“Serena, stop,” Bernie said.

It was enough to pause her attempts for a moment. Had she made a mistake? Did Bernie not want this? But she had kissed first.

Bernie’s hand reached up to stroke her cheek, calming her instantly.

“Much as I want to continue. And I do want to continue.” Bernie’s eyes were dark and her stare intense. “We need to go to work.”

Work? Work? Serena had forgotten such a thing existed. She reluctantly rolled off Bernie and pushed herself to her feet. Bernie sat up. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair even more of a mess than usual. It took all of Serena’s willpower not to sit back down on the floor and continue kissing Bernie when she looked like that.

“I’ll just…” Serena pointed at the stairs. “Shower.”

Bernie nodded. She pulled herself up to standing.

“Do you need to shower?” Serena asked, then immediately regretted it. Did it sound like she was asking Bernie to join her?

Bernie ducked her head. “I’ll shower at the hospital.”

“Oh. Okay.”

They both stood there, the atmosphere in the room suddenly awkward.

“Well I suppose I’d better head in,” Bernie said eventually, “I’ll see you at work in a bit?”

“Yes. I won’t be long.”

There was another awkward moment where neither of them seemed to know the appropriate gesture for leaving. Bernie flapped her hands a bit and Serena took a step towards Bernie.

“Well bye for now,” Bernie said.

She reached out and squeezed one of Serena’s hands before spinning on her toes and disappearing out of the front door. Serena heard her car engine start up before she remembered that she was supposed to be getting ready for work.

She trudged up the stairs and into her bedroom. The light in the en suite was already on. She must have left it on when she got up earlier. Too damn early to remember things like switching lights off. Although that seemed like another lifetime ago.

The warm water calmed her jittery body. She stood under the flow, letting it wash away the morning’s activities. Watched as the suds from her shampoo disappeared down the drain. She rested her head against the wall. Her mind was still full of thoughts of Bernie. About how good she had felt pressed up against her. About how kissing her was like nothing she had ever imagined. About how the fact that Bernie was a woman just didn’t feel like a big issue. About how much she wanted to do it again, and more. The idea of inviting Bernie into her shower didn’t seem quite so ridiculous anymore. She’d love to have Bernie in the shower with her right now, pressed up against her back, trailing kisses across her shoulders, her hand reaching lower and lower.

She shook herself and switched off the water. There was no time for those kind of fantasies, not when she was supposed to go to work. Work with Bernie. The idea made her both exciting and nervous at the same time. She didn’t know what Bernie wanted from her. Was it just a moment of madness or did she want more? Would she greet Serena on the ward with a kiss or completely ignore her? Either one sounded kind of terrifying if Serena was honest with herself.

It was only after Serena had wrapped herself in a towel and gone back into her bedroom that her thoughts finally landed on Georgie. She sunk down onto her bed and tried not to cry. Bernie already had a girlfriend. A beautiful, young girlfriend with a body that Serena had never been close to achieving. Why on earth would Bernie ever chose Serena over Georgie? It was clearly all just a big mistake. No wonder Bernie vanished so quickly. Guilt crept in over her as well. She remembered how she had felt when she first discovered that Edward was cheating and now she had just kissed Bernie knowing full well that she was in a relationship with someone else. Did that make her just as bad? She felt just as bad. More than anything she wanted to climb into bed properly, pull the covers up over her head and hide until the whole situation had sorted itself out.

Her phone was on the bedside table. She picked it up and turned it over in her hand a few times, debating with herself. Could she call Hanssen and tell him she was far too ill to come into work today? Would it just make her feel even worse for lying as well as enabling cheating? Could she tell Hanssen the truth? He was her friend after all. But realistically she knew he’d tell her that her personal life shouldn’t interfere with work and that she should come in anyway. Maybe she could call Sacha and ask him to swap with her. She could hide up on Keller for the day while Sacha and Bernie kept AAU afloat. But then Sacha would expect an explanation and she didn’t feel close enough to him to admit why she was avoiding Bernie.

There was nothing for it. She was going to have to get herself ready, go into work and face Bernie.

Bernie was already on the ward when Serena arrived. She ducked into the office and closed the door behind her. She removed her coat, hanging it on the hook, and sat down at her desk, starting up the computer. She checked her emails before picking up the pile of paperwork from her desk and making a start. Hopefully, there would be enough paperwork there to allow her to hide in the office for most of the day, or at least until Bernie got inevitably called into theatre.

Her luck was not with her though. After only about an hour, the red phone rang. Bernie stuck her head around the office door, a gentle smile crossing her face, to tell her that they needed her in theatre as well.

“Damage to the arm, looks like the blood supply is compromised. Just your kind of thing.”

Serena didn’t make eye contact as she stood and followed Bernie out onto the ward. She stopped off at the locker room to change into scrubs and then headed to the theatre. She found Bernie in the scrub room already scrubbing in. Reluctantly, she joined in.

“Serena,” Bernie said in a quiet voice.

Serena continued to wash her hands silently.

“Are you ok? About this morning?” Bernie continued, glancing over at the other members of the theatre team who luckily were too far away to hear any conversation between the two surgeons.

Serena still said nothing. She accepted the help of a nurse to get her into the surgical gown and then she went into the theatre. The patient was already on the table and after a quick confer with the anaesthetist, Serena pulled up a stool and began work on the arm, still studiously ignoring Bernie.

Bernie stood watching her, a confused look on her face, before Fletch nudged her and she began dealing with the abdominal bleed.

The patient came through the surgery well. Serena left Bernie to close up while she escaped theatre. She changed back into her usual clothes and ran back into the office, burying herself once more in the paperwork. She couldn’t do this, she couldn’t be that close to Bernie without the regret of their kiss overwhelming her. Why did Bernie have to be a cheater?

The rest of the day passed with little incident. Serena completed all the paperwork and checked up on a few patients, all the while ensuring that Bernie was at the other end of the ward. Luckily, Bernie seemed to sense Serena’s mood and avoided her as well.

Serena was just grabbing her coat before she headed off when Bernie appeared in the doorway of their office. Serena tried not to look at her. She was clad in her usual scrubs which she had no business looking as good in as she did.

“Serena, I think we need to talk about this morning,” Bernie said.

She came into the office fully and shut the door behind her. Serena thought about pushing past her and leaving but decided it would be too difficult. Instead she stood, coat over her arm and bag slung over her shoulder, and waited for Bernie to speak.

“I’ve clearly made you very uncomfortable,” Bernie said.

Serena huffed in response.

“We can just sweep it under the carpet if you want. We don’t need to talk about it again.”

Bernie was wringing her hands and staring at the floor. Serena almost felt pity for her until she remembered what Bernie had done.

“I think that might be best,” she said, “For all of us.”

Then, without waiting for a response, Serena pushed past Bernie and opened the door. She walked quickly out to the car park and climbed into her car, only letting the tears fall when she’d left the hospital grounds.

The next few weeks were torture. Serena managed to get hold of the rota and alter it so that they were on opposite shifts as much as possible. But it just wasn’t always possible. And even when Bernie wasn’t on shift with her, everyone she spoke to seem to ask after her, or mention her or just do something that reminded Serena of Bernie. She stopped going to Albie’s in the evenings, just in case Bernie was there, and she managed to only go to the self-defence classes if she knew Bernie was caught up in theatre. Not that they were great either. How could they be when all she could think about was how Bernie had cheated on Georgie? And Georgie was stood there at the front of the session, oblivious to her girlfriend’s deception. It was enough to make Serena sick.

Bernie at least seemed to be contrite. She only spoke to Serena if medically necessary and she barely ever seemed to be in the office. Serena sometimes just saw a flash of blue scrubs as Bernie vacated the office as she arrived for the start of her shift. More often than not, Bernie volunteered to do the consults up on other wards and Serena happily let her. It meant a few hours without Bernie on the same ward as her and allowed her heart rate to return to something approximating normal.

The worst thing was that Serena felt like she’d lost a friend. She missed just having Bernie around, sharing cups of coffee and pastries or grabbing lunch up on the roof. She missed drinking Shiraz with Bernie at Albie’s and watching tv together on the sofa. She missed having someone who understood her, who would joke around with her or comfort her depending on the situation. But Bernie couldn’t be any of those things right now. Because right now not only was Serena mad at her for cheating, she was also very, very attracted to her. But nothing could happen. So Serena needed space from her to get over these feelings, before she could contemplate being Bernie’s friend again.

It was pitch-black before Serena made it outside that evening. She’d been hiding in the stairwell, watching to see if Bernie would leave before she made her way back to their office. She just wasn’t up for another awkward none-conversation today. Bernie must have been busy with paperwork or something as she didn’t leave until well after her shift ended. Eventually, just as Serena was debating going to find an empty on-call room to lie down in for a while, she noticed the golden head of Bernie leave Wyvern Wing and head over to her car. Once the car had left the car park, Serena headed back down to the office, grabbed her things and stepped out into the cool, night air.

She walked quickly over towards her car, wishing she’d parked closer that morning. But she’d seen Bernie’s car enter the car park just ahead of hers and so she’d driven to the far end in an effort to avoid her again. She berated herself for being so ridiculous but that was her life now, doing ridiculous things to avoid having to talk to, or even see, Bernie.

The car was in sight when she suddenly felt a tug on her handbag. She jumped and spun around, ending up face to face with a masked man. For a moment she stood still, shocked, and then the man lunged at her and all that time spent working on self-defence techniques came flooding back to her. She grabbed the hand that reached towards her and yanked it away, pulling the fingers back and causing the man to yelp. Then she took a deep breath and hooked one of her legs around the attacker, pulling hard. The man screamed as he tumbled backwards onto the floor, his scream cutting off suddenly as his head hit the tarmac hard. Serena had a moment where she felt relief before she realised that she too was falling towards to floor. With one hand still gripped on her handbag, she couldn’t catch herself and she landed heavily next to the passed out attacker, hearing an audible snap as her arm hit the floor hard. She tried to push herself to her feet but the combination of the shock and the extreme pain in her arm brought on a dizziness that resulted in her collapsing back onto the floor.

“Help!” she yelled instead. “Someone please help!”

Then she closed her eyes and let her mind drift away.

She woke up to find herself on a trolley in the ED. Her arm throbbed in a simple sling and her knees stung. She was about to call out when a nurse she didn’t recognise stuck her head around the curtain.

“Oh good, you’re awake!”

She came into the cubicle properly and began checking Serena over.

“How are you feeling?”

“Terrible,” Serena replied. She tried to remember what had happened to her but the last thing she could remember was leaving Wyvern Wing and walking through the car park. She looked around to see if there were any clues. Her handbag was sat on the trolley next to her but nothing else in the room looked familiar. Her trousers seemed to have been ripped at the knees but the rest of her clothing seemed unharmed.

The nurse began to roll up her trouser legs.

“I’m Nurse Andrews and I’m just going to dress the grazes before you head up to x-ray,” she told a bemused Serena. “All your obs look normal so once your arm is in a cast, you should be ok to go. Although I think the police might want a word before you leave the hospital premises.”

“Police?” Serena questioned.

“About the attack. The mugger is in resus but it looks as though he’ll be fine. You sure did him some damage though!”

Serena nodded, still very unsure about what was going on. What was this about a mugger? And what damage had she done?

At that moment the curtain was pulled aside and Jason ran up to the bed.

“Auntie Serena are you ok? The nurse on the phone said you’d been attacked. What happened? Did they hurt you?”

Serena reached over with her good hand to squeeze her nephew’s hand. He was clearly very anxious about the situation but she was glad to see him, to have someone familiar there next to her.

“Jason,” she said smiling. “There’s no need to worry. I’m fine.”

She knew she shouldn’t lie to her nephew but she didn’t want to worry him. She couldn’t answer his questions. She had no idea what had happened to her and she didn’t really know what was wrong with her. She could only tell him what hurt the most and that didn’t seem like information he needed to know.

“Are you going to come home soon? Are you going to be able to cook still? What about driving?”

Nurse Andrews took pity on her and addressed Jason.

“Your auntie is a bit hurt but she should make a full recovery. She had probably broken her arm so that will be in a cast for six weeks and she has grazed her knees so they will be sore for a few days. She should be able to go home in a few hours but she won’t be able to drive and she might find cooking a bit hard for a while so maybe you could help her?”

Jason let out an exasperated sigh. “But I can’t drive!”

Serena patted his hand. “Don’t worry. We can always get taxis.”

He looked at her with wide eyes. “I don’t like taxis. The drivers always try to talk to me about things I don’t want to talk about and play music that I don’t like.”

Nurse Andrews began washing Serena’s grazed knees with an alcohol wipe at that moment. Serena gasped as the stinging got dramatically worse.

“Sorry, just making sure they are clean. Won’t be a moment.”

Serena turned back to Jason.

“I’m sorry love, but it’ll only be for a few weeks.”

He huffed a response and turned away from her. She didn’t worry. He just needed a few moments to think things through. She watched as Nurse Andrews put dressings on both her knees. Jason’s phone beeped and he began urgently texting someone.

“Jason, love, why don’t you go and get yourself a hot chocolate while you’re waiting.”

She fished around in her handbag and pulled out some change.

“You can go and sit in my office and wait for me if you want? Ric’s on overnight but he won’t mind.”

Jason lifted his head from the phone and took the money before leaving the cubicle.

Nurse Andrews finished up the dressings and pulled Serena’s trouser legs back down over them.

“I’ll just go and find a wheelchair to get you to x-ray,” she told Serena. She disappeared before Serena had a chance to object. She would really rather not be paraded through the hospital in a wheelchair. She hated being pitied and it just wasn’t a good look for the head of AAU to be so vulnerable.

There was a scuffling outside the cubicle and then the curtain was pushed back aside to reveal Morven and Fletch.

“Ms Campbell! Been picking fights on people?” Fletch said, a big grin on his face.

Morven ran up to her side and gripped her hand.

“I’m so glad you are ok,” she said, “And since you got him, maybe this whole thing can stop.”

Serena squeezed her hand back.

“So what happened?” Fletch asked.

Serena sighed. “I’m really not sure. I don’t remember any of it. The nurse mentioned a mugger?”

“The hospital mugger,” Morven filled in, “The rumour is that he tried to attack you but you fought back and now he’s in resus unconscious waiting for the police.”

“Oh.” It was the only response Serena had to that information. She’d fought back against the mugger? But she was useless at the self-defence thing. And it wasn’t like she’d been able to have any extra classes with Bernie since the disaster of their first one.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Got it from one of the nurses working in resus so I’m fairly sure,” Fletch said, “I have contacts down in ED you know.”

Nurse Andrews reappeared with the wheelchair and Serena was helped into it by her and Fletch.

“I’ll run her up there,” Fletch offered, “Need to head back to AAU anyway and it’s on the way.”

“Is there anyone left on AAU tonight or have you all decided to hang out down here instead?” Nurse Andrews asked.

They looked at her confused.

“Well I’ve got you three here and then another one of your consultants who refuses to leave the nurses station. And then we have repeated phone calls from your ward with everyone wanting to check up on you,” she explained.

“Wait, there’s an AAU consultant here?” Serena asked, thinking that it was nice of Ric to nip down on his break to check up on her.

“Yes just over there,” Nurse Andrews said as they all left the cubicle, pointing towards the nurses station.

“Bernie…”

Bernie looked up as Serena spoke and looked directly in her eyes. She dodged round the end of the station and headed straight to Serena.

“Serena!”

A smile spread across Bernie’s face that Serena couldn’t help but replicate. She’d missed seeing her smile in the awkwardness of the last few weeks. She reached out her good hand as Bernie approached and Bernie took it in both of her hands. A burst of electricity shot through her as their skin touched.

“Are you ok? What’s hurt? They wouldn’t tell me anything,” Bernie said all in a rush.

“Just a broken arm and grazed knees I think,” Serena answered, her eyes fixed on Bernie. The pain in her body seemed to be receding just from having her close. “How did you know I was here?”

Bernie blushed and tried to withdraw her hands. Serena turned her hand and interlocked her fingers with one of Bernie’s hands. She didn’t want to let go yet.

“Jason rang me. Asked for a lift into the hospital to see you.”

“You drove Jason in? Thank you Bernie.”

“It was nothing.”

Serena squeezed her hand and they stayed motionless, gazing at each other.

Fletch coughed. “Um, Ms Wolfe, Ms Campbell needs to get up to x-ray.”

Bernie jumped back and dropped Serena’s hand.

“Of course, of course,” she said, her cheeks blazing. “I’ll just go… over here…”

“You could come with me?” Serena suggested. She really didn’t want to let Bernie go now. She was hurt and vulnerable and needed the safety of Bernie being next to her.

Bernie looked confused for a moment then nodded her head and followed the wheelchair to the lift.

There was a bit of a wait up at x-ray. Fletch left Serena there in the wheelchair with Bernie for company. Bernie sat silently on one of the plastic chairs next to Serena. Now that Bernie’s initial pleasure at seeing Serena alive and relatively ok had worn off, the awkwardness between them had returned. Still, Serena was glad to have her there next to her.

“Thank you,” she said.

Bernie turned to look at her, eyebrows furrowed. “For what?”

“For being here, for checking on me.”

Bernie’s eyes dropped to the floor. “It’s what any friend would do.”

Silence fell again.

“Still, I’m glad you’re here,” Serena said eventually, “I was a bit worried that we’d blown the whole friendship thing.”

Bernie looked up at Serena. “I’ll always be your friend,” she said, her tone serious.

Serena smiled and reached over to take one of Bernie’s hands. “I’m glad. You are the best friend I’ve ever had.”

A radiologist stuck her head out of the door and called for Serena Campbell. Bernie stood abruptly before their hands could touch and walked round to push Serena’s wheelchair into the room. Once the radiologist had taken it from her, she walked out of the room without a second glance back at Serena. Serena allowed the radiologist to help her stand and manoeuvre her arm into the correct position on the table. She barely felt the pain in the movement, her mind focused on wondering whether Bernie would be there when she got out. The way she had just acted suggested that she wouldn’t. She replayed their previous interaction in her mind but she couldn’t find anything in it that would explain Bernie’s behaviour. Maybe she shouldn’t have reached out for Bernie’s hand? But they had been holding hands down in ED without an issue so she didn’t think it could be that.

To Serena’s great relief, Bernie was there when she was pushed out of the x-ray room, back in her wheelchair. She was looking anxious, pacing the waiting area and wringing her hands together. She looked up as Serena called to her and her face lit up with a bright smile. Serena couldn’t help but smile back. Bernie bounded over to her and grasped the handles of the wheelchair.

“Where to next?” she asked.

“Back to ED I suppose. Although I wouldn’t mind a stop off at Pulses on the way. A proper cup of coffee sounds rather wonderful right now.”

Serena figured that most of the staff in the hospital had by now either seen her in the wheelchair or heard about what had happened. She wasn’t willing to put her pride above caffeine at this point. She was tired out and really wished she could go home. Soon.

“As you wish.”

Bernie left her beside a table while she went to buy the coffee. The queue was short and it wasn’t long before she was back, two large, steaming mugs of coffee in her hands.

Serena sighed as she took the first sip. “Perfect Bernie. Thank you.”

Bernie wriggled in her seat. “No problem.”

The anxiety from earlier seemed to be back. Bernie’s eyes were darting around the room and she looked uncomfortable. Bernie’s phone beeped and she picked it up to look at it.

“Bernie, if you have somewhere to be, I can get a porter to take me the rest of the way,” Serena offered. She didn’t want her to go but Bernie’s awkwardness suggested that she did.

Bernie looked up at her, aghast. “No, Serena. I’m not leaving you.”

She placed the phone on the table. Serena could see the name at the top of the screen, the person who Bernie had just received the message from. Georgie. And suddenly Serena didn’t want Bernie to be here anymore. Didn’t want Bernie to sit next to her being nice when Georgie was probably waiting for her somewhere.

“Bernie, you need to get back to Georgie.”

Bernie looked at her confused. “No I don’t.”

Serena looked up at the ceiling, tears threatening to fall. “Yes you do Bernie. You really do.”

Bernie said nothing and Serena looked down at her. Bernie had lifted up her phone and was studying the message.

“No I don’t,” she repeated, “She’s just saying thank you for babysitting on Friday.”

Bernie held the phone out to Serena to show her.

Thanks for Friday Bernie. Me and Tim really appreciated getting to have a date night for once. Hope Chloe wasn’t too much trouble.

Serena read it. And read it again. She couldn’t make sense of it.

“Tim?” she asked quietly.

“Oh that’s Georgie’s husband. And Chloe is their rather dramatic five-year-old. Taught me all the songs from Frozen!”

It still just didn’t make sense. How could Georgie have a husband? And was Bernie so brazen as to babysit for their child when she was having an affair with Georgie?

“Are you ok?” Bernie asked, when Serena hadn’t spoken for a while.

Serena began to nod, then shook her head and then nodded again. “But…”

Bernie reached out and touched Serena’s good arm. “Serena?”

There was nothing for it. The only way she was going to clear the confusion would be just to ask Bernie outright.

“Bernie, are you sleeping with Georgie?”

Bernie burst out laughing, her distinctive honk causing various people to turn and stare.

“Sleeping with Georgie? God no!”

Serena furrowed her brow. Surely it wasn’t that funny to think it. Bernie noticed the look and calmed down.

“Serena, Georgie is my very heterosexual, married friend and that is all she has ever been to me. Okay?”

Serena nodded. Her mind ran through various reasons why she thought that Bernie and Georgie were together and dismissed many of them as just things that good friends might do.

She sighed. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’ve been making unfair assumptions.”

Bernie smiled at her. “It’s fine Serena, seriously.”

It was only when Bernie was pushing Serena back to ED that it occurred to her that if Bernie and Georgie weren’t together, that it put a very different spin on their kiss. Bernie wasn’t cheating when she kissed her.

Serena buried her head in her hand. She’d pushed Bernie away, told her to forget about the kiss, for no reason. Had she ruined her chance with Bernie? She couldn’t believe that Bernie would still like her after the way Serena had treated her in the past few weeks.

“Ok?” Bernie asked.

Serena couldn’t bring herself to answer.

It was late before Serena was allowed to go home, her arm in a cast. Bernie had sat by her side through the whole process. They’d talked about light, inconsequential topics. Topics that they knew they agreed on. When Serena was discharged, Bernie had fetched Jason from AAU before driving them both home. Jason invited her in and Serena, too tired to disagree, had not protested.

Bernie made all three of them hot chocolates. Jason took his up to bed and Bernie and Serena sat awkwardly on the sofa, one at each end. Serena winced as she sat down, her arm hurting now the painkillers had worn off, and Bernie slotted a cushion under her arm.

“Paracetamol?” she asked, pulling some from her handbag and offering it to Serena.

Serena nodded gratefully and took the packet off her. She took the pills and leaned back on the sofa cushions, eyes closed, waiting for the medicine to kick in.

“I should go home,” Bernie said after a few minutes of silence.

Serena opened her eyes. “No, Bernie. Please stay.”

Bernie looked at her and nodded. “Okay.”

Serena shifted so she could get a better look at Bernie. She hadn’t looked at her properly in weeks. Not since the kiss. Bernie seemed thinner, she wondered if she had been eating properly. Her hair was lacking in its usual volume. But when Serena met Bernie’s eyes, they blazed as bright as ever.

“Serena,” she whispered as Serena continued to maintain eye contact.

Serena wriggled her good arm free and slid her hand across the sofa towards Bernie. Bernie reached out her own hand to meet it. Their fingers tangled together. Serena dropped her gaze to look at their entwined hands.

“I think we need to talk,” Bernie said, rubbing her thumb over Serena’s knuckles.

Serena nodded. She knew this might be an uncomfortable conversation but it was necessary. And how uncomfortable could it really be when Bernie was caressing her hand like that?

Bernie took a deep breath. “Georgie’s been on at me to talk to you for weeks but I’ve been scared, I’m sorry. I should have talked to you properly after we…” She paused, her cheeks burning bright red. “After we kissed.”

And now Serena was blushing too. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I didn’t want to talk to you afterwards. I thought you were in a relationship with Georgie and had just cheated on her. I was so angry with you that I wouldn’t have listened even if you had pinned me down.”

Bernie’s eyes went dark at the last comment but she continued. “I should have talked to you before anyway. I should have talked to you before I kissed you. Goodness knows I did enough talking about you to Georgie.”

“You talked to Georgie about me?”

“Didn’t talk about much else,” Bernie replied.

“Bernie…”

Serena tugged on her hand to bring Bernie closer to her. Bernie shuffled across the sofa until she was next to Serena.

“Bernie how do you feel about me?” Serena asked, her heart in her mouth.

“Oh.” Bernie looked up at Serena and then down at the floor. “I think I love you.”

Serena dropped Bernie’s hand and reached for Bernie’s chin instead. She pulled it up so that Bernie was looking at her again, their lips mere centimetres apart.

“Good,” Serena said. “That is very good.”

And then she kissed her.