Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

They say in the moment before you die, your life flashes before your eyes. All the mistakes, choices, and things you had or could have done. Keith wouldn’t say this is true, but it’s pretty close. He can’t say for others, but for him, it was his home, his world, that he saw before he died. He saw the only ocean he wouldn’t mind getting lost in. He saw the stars that he could gaze at forever. He saw the only sun for which he would gladly go blind from staring at.

What surprised Keith about this moment was how he could feel it too. He felt the hands he loved caress him, tangle in his hair, hold his face between them. He felt the lips he craved light his skin on fire, leaving a trail that led to his own.

What did not surprise him was the way his vision suddenly blurred. On instinct, he felt himself blink rapidly in an attempt to clear his eyes, but he didn’t really care. His hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white, and he wasn’t sure if he was just anticipating what would come, or if he was afraid of it.

The headlights of the other cars only obscured his vision more, but at this point, he didn’t need to see where he was going. He knew they weren’t getting away from this.

He could hear his pulse in his ears, and he took a deep breath, even though he knew it wouldn’t do anything. Time slowed in the seconds before it arrived. In those seconds, he allowed himself to be selfish, and to let his mind drift back to the only regret he would ever make. The ocean, stars, sun, hands, and lips all came together, and he saw his home.

He saw Lance.

A tear dropped from his eye and slid down his cheek as Keith heard the last words Lance said to him.

Just make sure you come back home.

He closed his eyes and made sure the last thing he saw was the face of the love of his life.

“I’m sorry”, he whispered. And then, he felt nothing.

____________________

“Were you able to do it?” the seeker asked.

“It took some time, but yes, I was able to save the body. However, we cannot fully assess the damage from the head injury until the soul has awakened.” The healer tsk-ed. “Such violent creatures. It’s a miracle the human even survived long enough to be salvaged.”

“It is.” He paused. “Is the body ready for the procedure?”

The healer nodded. Her long dark hair was tucked into a bun, and she spoke as she prepared the tools she would need. “I’ve already sent my assistant to bring the soul.”

The seeker nodded. “Good. This human is believed to be a part of the group of rebels that has eluded us for quite some time. Now that we have one of them, we are closer than ever to apprehending them and making this world safer for our kind.”
At that moment, a tall long-nosed man entered the room, carrying a cryotank, and in it, the soul who would inhabit the body of the rebel.

The seeker stepped back and allowed the healer and her assistant to begin. The healer worked quickly, and within minutes, the procedure was complete. Her assistant cleaned the blood and then began putting the tools away. The only evidence left of the procedure was the pink scar on the back of the body’s neck.

The seeker smiled and stepped next to the healer.

“The soul should wake soon”, she informed him.

He nodded. Soon enough, they would be able to start the search for the remaining humans, and finally, this world would be theirs.

Chapter Text

After the damage he had caused himself, it was a miracle Keith could still remember what had happened in his final moments.

The seekers’ cars were gaining on them. Keith weaved their own car expertly between others, making sure not to hit the walls of the freeway.

His friend Matt climbed into the passenger’s seat from the cargo bed of the car. “I already threw everything we have at them. Literally. They’re still gaining on us.”

Keith glanced at the rearview mirror, and sure enough, the seekers were still hot on their tail. Sure, they had some distance on them, but it didn’t change the fact that they were still being chased. Keith looked ahead at the other cars that held the rest of his team from the raid.

He gripped the wheel. It was just supposed to be a simple raid of the store, but it had gone south when they were spotted by a “concerned citizen” who called the seekers. Now they were running for their lives and their situation wasn’t looking good.

They couldn’t lead them back to the base. There were so many they had to protect, and if they didn’t do something now, all of those lives would be lost. All of their hardships and sacrifices would be for nothing. The seekers didn’t seem to be relenting anytime soon. Despite the number of cars on the road, they were still gaining on them, and fast.

“If we don’t do something now they’re gonna catch us and find the others!” Matt said.

“That’s not gonna happen!” Keith growled. He wouldn’t let it happen.

Keith was known among their base for being able to make split second decisions, even when it seemed like there was no decision to be made. His quick thinking usually got them out of any situation unscathed. But now, he made a decision that was simultaneously the best and the worst. It was the best thing he could do for everyone else, but definitely the worst for himself.

“Matt, I need you to do exactly what I tell you.” Keith tried his hardest to keep his voice even.

Matt seemed to sense Keith’s unease, because he looked at Keith with furrowed brows. “What are you suggesting? We’ll never make it back to the base without leading them there!”

“Maybe not without making a sacrifice.”

Matt’s forehead pinched further, mulling over Keith’s words, until it dawned on him what Keith was implying. “No”, he said, shaking his head. “No, I can’t let you do that Keith. There’s gotta be-”

“You said it yourself Matt; there’s nothing else we can do without giving ourselves up, and that gives everyone else up. I can make sure they don’t find them.”

“No! I can’t let you do that!”

“We don’t have a choice! We can’t let them find the others and this is the only way. There’s no time for anything else Matt. We’re out of options.”

Matt glared at Keith. “What about Lance?”

Keith gripped the steering wheel harder. “You know I’d rather die than let them get to him.”

Matt sighed heavily and put a hand on Keith’s shoulder, glaring at Keith through misty eyes. “It’s been an honor Keith. We’ll never forgive you for this you piece of shit.”

Keith chuckled. “Thanks Matt. It’s nice to know you cared about me after all.” In another quick decision, Keith reached over to his hip and unhooked his knife holster from his belt. “Here”, he said handing it to Matt. “I know he’ll never forgive me, but can you tell him I’m sorry? And… that I love him?”

Matt took the knife and swallowed his tears. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll do that.”

“Get in the back and get ready to jump”, Keith said. With one last squeeze on his shoulder, Matt did as Keith said and jumped in the back. Keith sped up to get as close to Nyma and Rolo’s car as he could. As soon as he was close enough, he jerked the steering wheel to the left, and the car veered in the same direction. A few frightened souls hit their brakes as he used the momentum to, hopefully, propel Matt into the other car. He didn’t stop to look in his rearview mirror until he had done a complete 180 degree turn. When he looked, Matt was staring back at him from the cargo bed of the other car. He saluted Keith as they sped away.

Before he could let himself even entertain the idea of doing otherwise, he floored the gas pedal, heading straight for the seekers. He could only hope they would think he was bluffing.

They fell for it, of course. Despite them being so pacifist, they had some pretty ballsy individuals in their ranks, and it helped that most of the other cars had frozen in place.

Keith took a deep breath. He could do this. For Lance. For the new family he had come to know and love. He could do this to protect the rest of the people they had in their base, and the other bases they had connections with. The souls had no idea just how many humans were left, and he wasn’t about to just give them all up. As much as it hurt, he had to do it. There was too much at stake. He could only hope they’d understand why he did it.

The rest of the memory became a blur, until there was total darkness. Keith was vaguely aware of his own consciousness, struggling to piece together what had happened. His brain felt muddled, and he wasn’t quite sure what he was doing or what was going on. He tried to recall what had happened before the memory he’d just seen, but then he came to realize he couldn’t remember that either.

He felt perplexed, and he began to feel anxiety creeping in. Somehow, he knew this feeling would not help whatever his situation was, so he began to focus on what he could remember.

His memories were like scattered puzzle pieces; he was pretty sure they were all there, he just didn’t have them all in one place. He knew for certain his name was Keith. He knew that he had been living a difficult life, but he wasn’t quite sure why. He had been living with… others, who he couldn’t remember, but that he knew he cared about. He cared enough to…
The end of the first memory came back to him. A little hazy, but clear enough that he could recognize himself inside the wreckage of a car. He recognized a glow and a heat that could only belong to fire, and he could just barely pick out the emotions he had been feeling at the time. Anguish, resentment, hope. He tried to fit them together with what he knew, and he was able to bring back some of the thoughts going through his head in that moment.

I hope they made it out. I hate them for what they’ve done to us. I’m so sorry…

Keith suddenly remembered what he had done. He remembered thinking about all of the people he had lived with. All the people he had loved. And he remembered making the conscious decision that he wouldn’t be going home to them.

He remembered thinking that as long as he deterred whoever was after them, and that he didn’t survive, those people--his family--would be safe.

But he did survive, Keith realized. He was conscious and thinking, and vaguely aware of his beating heart. He had failed. Protecting them meant death, and if he wasn’t dead, then he hadn’t protected them. The revelation sent his thoughts into a downward spiral of despair. He couldn’t remember who they were, but he knew he couldn’t live with himself if they were hurt because of him. He knew that these faceless people from his past had counted on him to protect them, but he hadn’t. He may not have been able to remember anything, but he felt in his bones that this had been the worst thing that had happened in his life.

Stop, a voice moaned. This… emotion. It’s unbearable.

Just like that, it was as if Keith had snapped out of whatever stupor he had been in.

Who are you?, he asked.

I am the one who should be in control. I am the one who owns this body now.

Keith felt a dull buzz that seemed to come from the back of his mind, and he saw flashes, heard words and sounds that looked and sounded familiar. He realized he was remembering things. The sounds and images began to come together like a puzzle, and something clicked.

He remembered learning about the invasion. He recalled someone explaining to him how the invaders took over people’s bodies, leaving no trace of the person they once were. He knew that this was what had become of him. He had been inhabited. So why was he still alive?

He felt some sort of restriction on him, as if he was being pushed back.

This is my body now, the voice declared. You shouldn’t be here.

It was like chains were being placed on him. The more he struggled the more it dawned on him that this feeling was him losing control of his own body. And if there was another thing he was certain of himself, it was that he was not someone who would willingly lay down and give into defeat. The acknowledgement of this fact created a spark in him, which soon became a fire that he knew would eat away at him until he did something.

So he pushed back against the chains that held his mind. He imagined his hands pushing up his own restraint, a wall, against the other force inside his head.

What are you doing?, the voice demanded, but he ignored it. He was beginning to feel more like himself already. Or, at least who he believed he was. He continued to focus his energy on forcing the other entity back, pushing it into a corner of his mind where it had no power. As he did, he noticed that he could see the color red, and he recognized the sight as the backs of his eyelids. He could see! He was winning! He began to focus his energy on feeling his body. His hands, his fingertips, his toes. He was getting his body back.

No, this is my body now!, the voice cried out. He felt a tug at his consciousness, but he continued to push all of his willpower into gaining feeling of his body. There was a dull ache in his head, but he kept pushing, until finally, he steadily began to gain feeling in his hands, and felt his fingers twitch.

Then, his hearing returned, and he seemed to finally realize the gravity of his situation.

“-an you hear us? My name is Healer Honerva, and with me is Seeker Sendak. Welcome to Earth.”

Chapter Text

Keith felt his blood run cold. His reaction could only meant that he was in the presence of the so-called “souls” they had been running from. And he had no idea what to do.

“Does the soul have a name they go by?” The voice that spoke was deep, and left goose bumps on Keith’s skin. Hey, he could feel his skin now. Which could only mean he was running out of time to figure something out. If only he could remember…  

It seems you’ve made a grave mistake, the voice said to him. Once they realize you’re in control and not me, they will remove me and dispose of you.

Shut up, he responded. I don’t need this right now, I need to figure out what to do.

He tried to remember something, anything, that could help him in this situation, but nothing came to him.

There’s nothing you can do, the voice whispered to Keith, and it bothered him that it sounded almost… sympathetic.

If you really pitied me, you’d have let me die, Keith bit back.

Well I’m afraid that wasn’t my doing. I had been warned humans were a stronger species than we’d known before, but I did not anticipate this kind of strength. Your will is incredible.

I don’t care what you think of me, I need to get out of here.

And then what?, questioned the voice. It’s evident that something in your body has malfunctioned, and I’ve been informed of the ways of your kind. I know how humans would respond if they realized you carried one of us. They’d kill you.

Maybe that’s true, but if I die, then you do too right?

The voice was quiet for a moment. I’ve never thought about death, it finally whispered. Death is not entirely common among my species. And I’ve never considered giving myself up for motherhood…

Oh great, I have a female alien living inside me. What a time to be alive.

The gender of the body doesn’t matter, it will still function the same when I am in control. Speaking of which, it seems we’ve no choice but to make a bargain.

Keith paused. What do you mean by bargain?

Neither of us want to die, correct? When Keith remained silent, the voice continued. For now, it seems you are in control of the body, and I have no power over it. I am essentially your prisoner. If I want to live, I will have to bargain with you.

Go on.

You will remain in control, but I will guide you. If you are like the humans they warned us about, your mannerisms are nothing like the ways of the souls. They will know something is not right.  If you want to survive in our world, you will do as I tell you.

No way am I taking orders from a worm inside my head, Keith seethed. He hated the idea that he would have to play nice with the very being that was ready to take his body and basically kill him.

You don’t have a choice, the voice said.

Keith hated that she was right. He hated that he knew she had a point. Hate seemed to be something he felt a lot. It was too familiar for it to be a rare occurrence for him. It seemed he only had one option, and he was shit out of luck.

Keith was quiet for a moment. Fine, he said, and he imagined if he could grit his teeth he would.

I have your word that no harm will come to me, so long as I guide you through our world?

Keith sighed. Yes.

Excellent. Now, I believe our… guests are feeling… impatient? Such an odd sensation for a soul, the voice mused.

“Should the soul still be unconscious?” asked the voice, who Keith believed was called Sendak.

“The Sleep should be losing its effect by now”, the healer, Honerva, replied.

“Good. I wish the soul a speedy recovery. I hope to be catching the last of the humans soon. Please notify me when the soul is ready for questioning.” Loud, heavy footsteps ensued, followed by the sound of a door opening and closing.

If the seeker still needed Keith, this could only mean they hadn’t yet found the others. Relief flooded over him at the thought that he hadn’t quite failed the people who had depended on him.

It seems the Seeker is gone, the voice said. This might make it easier to at least get out of the healing facility.

Okay, so what’s the plan?

Right now, all we can do is play the part. Are you ready to face a soul?

Keith was slowly starting to feel his heart rate pick up. He could only hope that there were no sensors monitoring his heart rate. He could feel his chest constrict just the slightest, and he fought to keep his hands from clenching into fists.

You must relax, the voice said. A soul would not be afraid. You must be calm in order to face her as a soul would.

E asy for you to say, Keith grumbled.

Now is the time, the soul continued, ignoring his statement. Take a breath, and open your eyes.

Keith drew in a breath as steady as he could make it, and opened his eyes. He was immediately blinded by the lights above him, and he began to blink in rapidly.

“Ah, you are awake”, the healer acknowledged. “If you were unable to hear me before, welcome to Earth. I am Healer Honerva. Can you speak yet?”

Do you have control of your vocal chords yet?

I think so, Keith said. But… won’t I sound suspicious if my voice doesn’t sound right? Like, if it cracks while I’m talking?

Based on your final memory, I would assume she does not know what kind of after effects to expect from an accident like yours. I believe you will be fine.

Well, here goes nothing. Or everything.

“Yes”, Keith croaked. His voice was hoarse, and he could tell his lips were dry.

“Excellent.” The healer then began to come into focus, and Keith could make out her dark hair, which was pulled into a bun on top of her head. She was wearing maroon scrubs, and a smile on her face. When Keith looked at her amber eyes, he could see the faint shimmer behind them, that signaled that she was inhabited by a soul.

He couldn’t help but flinch when he saw it.

Healer Honerva didn’t seem to notice. “How are you feeling?”

Keith decided to be honest, and followed the soul’s instructions on how to phrase it. “I believe the word is… groggy.”

Honerva nodded. “Yes, I was worried you would have trouble acclimating to the body. I assume you have seen what they did?”

“Yes.”

The healer sighed. “They brought this body to me, broken and practically hanging on by a thread. We are lucky our technology is so advanced, and that our facility was so close, otherwise the body certainly would not have survived. There is one thing that concerns me, however.” She reached towards him, and this time he knew he visibly flinched. His heart rate picked up once again.

However, Honerva smiled sympathetically. “Do not worry. That is merely a reflex. Your host was part of a group of rebel humans that, unfortunately, have evaded us for years.” She touched the side of his head, under his hair, where he felt a noticeable ridge across his skull. “This was one of the worst of the injuries. A direct blow to the head. It was bad enough that not even our tremendously advanced medicines could completely erase it. Tell me, how does your head feel?”

Keith remained silent for a moment before he spoke. “I feel no pain. But.. my memory…”

A sigh escaped her lips. “Just as I feared. It seems the damage to your head has caused amnesia, though we won’t know the extent of it until Seeker Sendak questions you.”

A chill ran down his spine. “‘Questions’?” he repeated.

Honerva gave him another smile. “He had hoped that your being a Seeker in your past few lives would be beneficial in gaining the information they need to find the remaining humans. Unfortunately, I do not know how much help you will be if the body cannot remember anything.”

Unknown to the healer, Keith held a silent conversation with the soul inside himself before clearing his throat. “If I… the body… can’t remember anything… what will happen?”

“I’m afraid that will be up to the seekers to decide.” She sighed. “They will be disappointed when they realize you’ll be of no use to them.” She seemed to realize what she had said and looked quickly to him, a slight blush coating her cheeks. “Not that you’re not useful! Of course, every soul has something they can contribute to society! I’m sure when they are done with their investigation you can-”

“Healer”, Keith interrupted. She stopped and snapped her mouth shut, sending a strange flutter of recognition through his chest. “It’s alright. I’m not offended. In fact, I was wondering when I’d be able to leave.”

Honerva let out a breath. “Yes, of course. I had my assistant get some new clothes for you, so I will be stepping out to allow you to get dressed. I’ll be just outside the door, so just come out when you are ready and I will escort you to where you will be staying for the night.” She turned to step out when she stopped and looked back at him. “I feel I should warn you… Your head is not the only place where the accident left its mark. The fire did considerable damage, and while we were able to heal the worst of it, do not be alarmed when you see the scars.” At that, she finally stepped out of the room and left him alone.

Keith remained still for a moment before moving to sit up. His muscles were a bit sore, and he lifted his arms to stretch them when he saw what the healer had been talking about. Pink marks snaked around his arms, and when he touched them he found that they were eerily smooth. After he had taken a moment to examine them, he got off the table and began to dress himself with the clothes that were set on a table beside him.

It wasn’t until he was heading for the door that he realized there was a mirror in the room. He made his way towards it, and gasped softly when he saw his face. A pink scar curled up around his jaw, ending just underneath his eye. He reached up to trace it with his finger, and continued to stare at it. It was evidence of what he had done. Proof of the lengths he’d gone to to keep his family safe.

We should meet with the healer now, the voice told him. He nodded in agreement, dropped his hand, and stepped  outside.

Healer Honerva greeted him with a smile. “Are you comfortable?” When he nodded, her smile seemed to grow. “Perfect. Follow me.” She led him down a series of hallways, and although he had the urge to count the turns they took and doors they passed, he dismissed it as a habit of his old self. He figured he wouldn’t need it now.

Honverva finally stopped before a door and opened it. “I’m afraid our accommodations aren’t the best; we are a healing facility after all. You will only be staying here for tonight. Seeker Sendak is eager to speak to you, so he will be sending someone to retrieve you in the morning. I believe he is also arranging a place for you to live, so that as soon as your part is over you may carry on with your new life.” She presented her hand for him to shake. “I wish you a wonderful new life here on Earth.”

He shook it, albeit reluctantly. She began to walk down the hall when she turned. “I apologize, but I’m afraid I don’t  know your name.”

Crap, what is your name? He asked the soul.

My previous name is too hard to translate, I was going to chose something new.

Well think fast, because she’s waiting.

The soul only thought for a moment before she spoke again. I haven’t seen the color red for two worlds, and I quite like it.

Alright then, whatever you want.

“Red”, Keith told the healer. “My name is Red.”

Chapter Text

As soon as Keith settled himself in the cot they had prepared for him, he fell asleep. He hadn’t realized just how exhausted he was. His sleep was dark and dreamless, though he couldn’t say he was surprised at that.

When he awoke in the morning, he got up and stepped into the adjoining bathroom. There was a brandless bamboo toothbrush and a jar of toothpaste waiting for him on the counter. Almost as soon as he stepped out of the bathroom, there was a knock at the door. When he opened it, there was a tall, thin man in a suit, with his hair gelled back. Keith fought to keep his nose from scrunching up at the sight of him.

“Good morning”, he said in a suave, accented voice. “My name is Seeker Haxus. I’m here to escort you to where you will be staying. Seeker Sendak is waiting for us there. He is eager to get started.”

So I’ve heard, Keith thought to himself.

Don’t forget to be polite! Red reminded him. He groaned internally.

“Good morning”, he responded. He stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him. Seeker Haxus led him down several hallways before they arrived at the entrance of the healing facility. They stepped outside, and Keith had to lift his hand to shield his eyes from the sudden lighting change. The air was dry and warm, as could be expected from the desert, and the sun beat down on them. Seeker Haxus opened the door of the car that was parked in front of them, and gestured for Keith to get in.

Keith stared out the window as they drove, taking in the sights of the small town they were in. Anxiety began to claw its way around his throat as he saw all of the people walking around outside. These people were souls. His enemies. And he’d never been among so many of them.

They wouldn’t hurt you, Red told him. Souls are very peaceful creatures, and we only seek the best for everyone.

Yeah, taking over a planet and erasing people sounds very peaceful, he bit back.

Red sighed. Perhaps you should see it from our perspective.

No thanks, I’d rather not.

Red huffed in annoyance. Very well then. Suit yourself.

The rest of the drive was quiet, save for when they stopped at a drive through to order food for Keith. He just asked for juice and a breakfast sandwich. He hadn’t been very hungry.

By the time they arrived at an apartment complex, Keith was a bundle of nerves. He didn’t know what this questioning would entail, and he chose to ignore Red’s assurances that it was nothing bad. Breathing became harder the closer they got to the apartment he would be staying in. He hoped they wouldn’t notice that his hands had become fists.

They finally arrived at a cream colored door, and Seeker Haxus opened it for Keith. He stepped forward, and the first thing he saw was the tall, broad shouldered man who sat at the dining table. He wore an eye patch over his right eye, and the sight of him had Keith’s muscles tensing, his instincts preparing him for a fight.

When the man saw him, he smiled, and stood to greet him. “Hello. I am Seeker Sendak. It is a pleasure to meet you--” He trailed off as he extended his hand, which Keith reluctantly shook.

“Red”, Keith supplied.

Sendak nodded, then gestured to the seat across from him. “Please, make yourself comfortable. This is where you will be staying for the time being. Once we no longer require your assistance, you will be free to do as you desire with your life term here on Earth. However, until then, myself and my associates will be here for as long as necessary to get as much information as we can from your host. With your help of course.”

“Of course”, Keith echoed. He was trying to keep his leg from bouncing as he sat at the table.

“Can we get you anything else?” Keith shook his head, and Sendak smiled. “Perfect. Let’s get started.”

____________________

A dark haired boy, who looked about fifteen, was standing above him laughing. A brunet boy who looked to be the same age stood beside him, also laughing. A toddler girl who looked like the brunet boy pouted, and stepped forward to try to help him up. His brother and their friend had dared him to ride his skateboard down the hill, which he admitted he knew was a bad idea, but he had done it anyway.

He pushed himself off the ground with a huff, and glared up at the two older boys. “It’s not funny-”

“Shiro. Takashi Shirogane was his brother’s name. Although he and his brother were both adopted, they were close. They had friends, their neighbors, the Holts, who they grew up with as well. Their parents…”

Shiro stood in front of Keith, keeping the then-ten-year-old behind him. “Mom? Dad? What’s going on? You were gone for days, we called the cops!”

“We know, and we’re very sorry we worried you boys”, their mother said, although she sounded strange. She sounded monotone, like she was just reading a script.

“But we’re back now, and we want you to come on a trip with us”, said their dad. He sounded strange too. Something wasn’t right, and Shiro could tell too.

“Mom, dad… you don’t sound like yourselves.” He had begun to walk back slowly, keeping his arm in front of Keith to shield him. Their parents had begun to follow them, and as soon as they stepped over the threshold of the kitchen, the lights from the backyard hit their parents’ eyes and Shiro gasped. The light was reflecting from their eyes, like those of an animal. Human eyes didn’t do that.

The rest of the memory was a blur of Shiro rushing Keith out of the house and into the street. Keith had cried the whole time, frightened and confused. Shiro had done his best to calm him, but found it increasingly difficult when he couldn’t answer any of Keith’s questions. It had gotten even worse when they tried to go to the police station. Most of the people there had faint pink scars on their necks that set off warning sirens in Shiro’s head.

“Their parents were taken during the settlement. The boys were both young and afraid. They had no family in the area and the Holts were out of town. With nowhere to turn, Shiro had to learn how to provide for Keith.” His nose wrinkled slightly. It was strange to refer to himself in the third person.

“So I assume he turned to petty theft and squatting?” Sendak asked.

Keith tried not to grit his teeth as he said, “Yes.”

Sendak nodded. “I see. So it seems you remember the early years fairly well. How about more recent years?”

Keith sighed. “That’s where the memories become harder to remember. The first few years after the invasion are clear, but after that it’s a blur.” He paused to try and recall something, but nothing came. “I can’t remember anything.”

“Perhaps you simply need more time. We can end here for today.” He stood and collected his notebook, then walked with Seeker Haxus to the door. “We will return tomorrow. I’ve left my contact information on that card on the table. Please, do not hesitate to contact me should you remember something. Have a pleasant day.” With that, he closed the door, leaving Keith alone, and feeling just as trapped as he did before.

His muscles were still too tense, and his veins felt like ice. The apartment he was in wasn’t bad, but he still felt anxious to be there.

You must calm down. Letting these emotions control you would not be wise, Red told him.

Well what do you want me to do? It’s only noon and I have nothing to do. It’s driving me nuts.

So go outside! The souls out there won’t bother you., and they won’t be suspicious unless you give them good reason to be.

No way in hell am I going out there!

Then I supposed you’re staying here and doing nothing.

He spent most of his day pacing around the apartment. He was too wound up to sleep, and he was too afraid to go out, although he had to eventually. He was hungry, and after arguing with Red, who was surprisingly snarky for being a soul, he trudged out of his apartment to go find something to eat. He ended up at a convenience store down the road, and his skin crawled everytime he walked past another person. He grabbed some chip bags and candy bars and took them to the register. Red whispered in his mind, keeping him in check when interacting with the cashier. He was surprised to find out that souls didn’t have to pay for anything, simply because they all trusted each other and were honest. Cute.

Red remained as annoyingly patient as ever. She just kept calmly reminding him that there had been a market just past the convenience store, and that he could have gotten more food and healthier options there. It was beginning to get on his nerves. It also distinctly reminded him of how Shiro was when he was younger.

Now that he could remember him, Keith felt himself aching for the company of Shiro. After the invasion, he and his brother grew closer than ever. Shiro practically raised him from that point on. He taught him how to fight and defend himself. Shiro was the one who showed him how to pick locks in order to get into stores and gather supplies. Shiro showed him how to find a good place to set up camp, how to start a fire, how to survive in the harsh new world they had been thrust into.

Unfortunately, Keith now also remembered the night Shiro had been taken. Despite already being seventeen at the time, Shiro had insisted he go into town alone.

“It doesn’t matter whether you go alone or not! It’ll be just as dangerous!” Keith had argued.

“It does matter. This isn’t some small town in the middle of nowhere, Keith. This is a city. It’ll be more dangerous because there’s more people that can notice that we’re out of place.”

“That shouldn’t matter! We stick together remember? That’s how we survive!”

“Not this time Keith”, Shiro said with a sigh. “Look. I get that you’re older now. More experienced. I understand you’re not a scared kid anymore. But you’re also not cut out for something like this. No, hear me out. You may not be scared anymore, but you’re angry. And that can be just as crippling as fear, especially when you’re in the belly of the beast. You can’t control your anger, and until you can, you’re in no shape to be out there. I’m just trying to keep you safe.”

Shiro hadn’t come back that night. Keith waited for two days before finally caving and packing up camp. He hadn’t wanted to admit it to himself, but he’d had no choice but to accept that Shiro wasn’t coming back. That was the day he felt fear creep into his heart once again.

Shiro’s absence hardened him. Keith was able to recall how he’d come to the conclusion that being alone was for the best, and that no matter what, he couldn’t trust anyone. He began to move from town to town, hiding in forests and caves. Never in one place too long. Just like Shiro had taught him.

But he knew there was more to his story than that. He knew something else had happened in the time after Shiro’s disappearance, but he couldn’t fucking remember. Now he was angry again.

Red made him even more restless. She didn’t like his anger. She wasn’t used to it. At first, she wouldn’t stop telling him just how uncomfortable his emotions made her. It only made it worse for her as he resigned to wallowing in his despair and anger. But by the end of the night, after he’d replayed his few memories over and over again, she seemed pensive. Almost like she understood why he felt the way he did.

That night, when he finally crawled into bed, Red spoke to him for what felt like the first time in hours.

I’m sorry for your pain, she said. Your brother seemed like a good man.

Keith hadn't known how to respond to that, so he didn’t. He just took her apology and mulled over it, trying to figure out just what exactly it meant for him.

Chapter Text

The days blurred together after the first week. Seekers Sendak and Haxus returned everyday to see if Keith would remember anything. He never did. As the days wore on, Seeker Sendak seemed to grow impatient, which, as Red never hesitated to point out, was unusual for a soul.

“Are you positive you haven’t remembered anything?” Sendak asked him once again. Keith had lost track of just how often he said that.

“Yes, I’m positive”, Keith replied calmly, as per Red’s request.

Sendak sighed.

“The healer did say his memory wasn’t guaranteed to come back”, Seeker Haxus gently reminded him.

Sendak made a noise almost akin to a grunt. “I suppose I had just been very hopeful that we could catch them this time. They’ve eluded us for so long, and just when I thought we had them…” He trailed off, clearly disappointed in the results he had gotten.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more use”, Keith told them, making sure to sound as apologetic as he could. Red had told him this was how any other soul would feel in such a situation.

“Don’t be. It isn’t your fault the rebels are so extreme”, Seeker Haxus soothed. Keith hated how genuinely caring he sounded. It made him sick.

“Very well then”, Sendak said as he stood. “I suppose I will speak to my superiors about our results. I will contact you when they give me further instructions." 

Keith nodded. “Alright.” Sendak and Haxus let themselves out, and Keith slumped in his seat, taking a deep breath.

It seems we may be rid of them sooner than we thought, Red mused.

Good, Keith thought. They both give me the creeps.

Well, there is still plenty of time left in the day. Perhaps you should continue the painting? Red suggested.

Keith nodded. I guess.

Throughout the past few weeks, Keith and Red had reached some sort of acquaintanceship. They were both stuck in the same body and Red seemed to recognize she wouldn’t be getting out anytime soon, so she decided to try and make the best of their situation. She tried to make small talk to Keith even when he didn’t respond. She told him stories of her past lives, seeing as how there was not much else she could do in her state, and, perhaps for lack of better judgement, he listened. He learned about the ways of the souls, and the many planets they had already conquered. She told him about her life terms on the Ice Planet, where the Bears lived, and about the Fire Planet, which apparently was a source of controversy among their species.

During this time, Keith began to remember little things about himself. He discovered that he was very good with knives, and often found himself swinging around the kitchen knives when he grew restless. He also did it because it made Red uneasy, and he found that he also enjoyed getting a rise out of her. He remembered this being a usual pastime for him, though he still couldn’t remember who he enjoyed making fun of.

It was after they had heard that rain would be due in their area for the first time in months that he remembered his passion for art.

He recalled as a child he’d always been drawing, be it with crayons, pencils, or those cheap watercolor palettes with small plastic brushes. He remembered it being something his family was proud of, displaying his artwork in frames on the wall. In the year before the invasion, he had begun taking lessons at a local art shop, where his love for painting took off.

As he remembered things, Red saw them too, and she wasted no time in pestering him to go to the craft store further into town that she had noticed during one of the rare times Keith had gone out for a walk.  

You’re still too anxious and tense! Doing something you love will be beneficial for both your physical and mental health .

I don’t want to go out there if I don’t have to.

Don’t be stubborn! You’ve already been out a few times, you’ve seen how friendly the other souls are! Just as I told you before, they won’t suspect anything unless you give them reason to.

I don’t care, Keith grumbled. I can’t trust any of them.

I’m not saying to trust them, I’m only saying to go out, get your supplies, then come back here. You don’t need to interact with anyone but the cashier.

Keith was quiet for a moment, trying to ignore the itch in his fingers that had been there since he had remembered his artistic days. He didn’t want to admit it, but he missed painting. He knew it was something he hadn’t done in years, and Red’s nagging wasn’t helping the buzz of energy in his veins. He tapped his fingers against his leg as he sank lower into the couch in an attempt to deter himself from leaving the apartment. Red was persistent, he’d give her that.

You know you want to, she singsonged.

I hate you, Keith said, but at this point there was no real heat behind it. He had accepted her as his permanent unwelcome guest some time ago, and he wasn’t ready to admit it, but he probably would’ve been even more stir-crazy had it not been for her company.

He let out a heavy sigh and heaved himself off of the couch. He grabbed the pair of sunglasses he’d picked up a few days before and walked out of his apartment. The souls were so trusting of each other they didn’t even bother putting locks on the doors, so he simply closed it and went on his way.

Red seemed to buzz in his mind with a strange sense of happiness as he made his way across town, glancing up at the approaching storm clouds far on the horizon. Once he arrived at the store, he made a beeline for the canvases that lined the wall. Red insisted he take advantage of the fact that there was no cost for anything, and told him to get large canvases. When he argued that it’d be impractical if they ended up moving, she refused to back down. They eventually compromised on a medium sized one and some smaller ones.

When he went to the paint aisle, bits and pieces came back to him. He remembered himself gazing in wonder as the art teacher showed them the differences between paint types, and how to get certain effects from each of them. As he looked at the different colors, he remembered learning how to mix them, and how proud he was when he painted his first sunset. Red encouraged him to get as many colors as he could, and for once he agreed. He still wasn’t sure what he wanted to paint, so he figured he’d prepare for anything. After grabbing some brushes, he headed to the checkout counter.

Keith shifted uncomfortably as the cashier attempted to make small talk with him. He could tell they were trying not to stare at his scars. “Do you paint often?”, the cashier asked with a smile on his face.

“No”, he answered simply.

“Ah. Then it isn’t your Calling?”

“Um, Calling?” Keith repeated the unfamiliar term.

Your job, Keith, Red told him.

“Oh!” Keith said aloud. “Uh, no, it isn’t my Calling.”

“Ah, I see. What is your Calling?”

Keith was silent while the cashier put his paints and canvases in bags. What should I say?

Make something up, Red suggested. A Calling is no different than any other job you would have normally had.

“Uh, I’m a… photographer.”

“Oh, so you are an Artist? That’s wonderful. I’m sure you make beautiful contributions to the world with your work.”

“Um, yeah”, Keith replied.

The cashier smiled at him and handed him his bags. “Have a pleasant day.”

“Thanks, you too.” Keith took the bags and walked back outside.

That wasn’t so bad, was it? Red asked, as she usually did whenever he interacted with souls. She sounded rather smug.

You’re pretty spunky for a soul, at least from what you’ve told me.

I believe it comes from being with you. You're quite the charmer.

Ah, discovered sarcasm have you? Fun.

Once he was finally back in his apartment, he decided he’d set up by a window that faced the mountains. After realizing he didn’t have an easel, he propped up one of the smaller canvases on his table and prepared his paints and brushes. Red was still buzzing with energy.

You’re more excited about this than I am, Keith noted.

What can I say? I’ve never seen an artist at work. From what people say, Earth art is beautiful, and I’m eager to see the process.

Well, don’t get too excited. I haven’t done this in years, so it may not be the best.

Just start already.

He dipped his brush into orange paint, and set about painting the mountains. He tried not to think to hard about how he was doing it, and just focused on actually doing it. He hoped that it would come back to him eventually. Maybe along with some memories too.

As he stroked the canvas with his brush, a sense of calm settled over him, and he took a deep breath. It turned out Red had been right, because when he breathed out, he actually felt a bit lighter. The itch in his fingers seemed to calm as well, and he felt somewhat content for the first time he could remember.

Red was quiet as he worked, seemingly content just watching him work. It wasn’t until he took a step back and examined his progress, that she said anything.

It looks really good. She seemed to genuinely like it. Keith only hummed in response, and continued working. When he had just about finished with the mountains, he felt a buzz in his head that wasn’t Red, and before he could think too much about it, images invaded his headspace.

He was in a car, and someone was pointing to a specific rock formation, though he couldn’t quite tell who it was. All he saw was a small pale hand pointing towards a dip in the side of the mountain. The rock there had been worn down somehow, and when they got closer he realized that the dips and curves looked a lot like a lion.

Just as suddenly as they’d come, they were gone, but he could still remember what the lion had looked like. Without thinking much about it, he grabbed another small canvas and replaced it with the one he had been working on. With the image still fresh in his mind, he began to paint the lion on the wall. The whole canvas was soon the same shade of orange as the mountains, but eventually the face of the lion began to emerge. He used a darker color to get the shading just right, and the shadows of the eyes seemed to pop out of the canvas.

He worked quickly, despite Red’s protests, afraid that the image would soon leave him. Once he was satisfied, he stepped back and looked over the painting. The lion seemed to jump out of the canvas at him, and he couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride at how good it looked. The image stirred a sense of deep familiarity within him, and he couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness at the thought that it was once something important to him.

Where is this? Red asked him.

I don’t know, he whispered back with a sigh. I think that’s enough painting for today.

He cleaned up the table, then set the painting of the lion rock on the dresser across from his bed. That night he sat there and stared at it, not really sure what he was waiting for.

Where are you? He wondered to himself. That night, he dreamt of a spatter of stars that he didn’t recognize, but that sent a shiver throughout his body, and left him feeling a deep ache and longing that he didn’t understand.

Chapter Text

“So your host was an Artist?” Sendak was looking at the unfinished canvases Keith had left on the table. He’d gotten up early that morning to paint the stars he’d seen in his dream the night before. He still couldn’t stop thinking about them, or the dull ache that still weighed in his chest.

“So it would seem”, he said. He really didn’t want to have this conversation with Sendak of all people. Something about him still rubbed Keith the wrong way, although Red assured him he wasn’t alone in the feeling.

“I spoke to my superiors yesterday”, Sendak began as he took a seat at the table. “They have decided that since you cannot seem to remember anything after all this time, then it is probably best to end our investigation here. There would be no benefit to continuing to bother you if you are unable to help us.”

Keith immediately felt just a bit lighter at the thought that he wouldn’t have to see Sendak again. “I understand. I’m sorry I couldn’t be more helpful.”

“It’s alright”, Haxus said. “We apologize for the inconvenience. Our superiors asked us to tell you that they hope you have a wonderful time here on Earth.”

“Thank you.”

Sendak pulled out his notebook and pen, then looked at Keith. “Since we no longer require your assistance, you are free to move on with your life. Have you thought at all about what you would like to do?”

Keith paused and thought about it. “I suppose painting would be nice”, he finally said.

Sendak nodded to himself as he wrote in his notebook. “We will find a place for you to follow your Calling, and arrange for you to move wherever you are needed. We will take care of everything, so you won’t have to worry about anything.” He pushed back from the table and stood, tucking his notebook and pen in his jacket. He walked over to Keith, whose muscles immediately tensed. He put out his hand and a smile on his face. “ It was a pleasure to make your acquaintance”, he said as Keith shook his hand, hoping he wouldn’t notice how tense his own hand was. “Although our business here is officially over, please do not hesitate to contact me should you ever remember something of significance.”

Keith nodded, not liking the strange glint in Sendak’s eye. He turned from Keith and headed for the door behind Haxus. Just before he closed it, he smiled at Keith again. “Have a wonderful life, Red.” Once the door was shut and he could no longer hear their footsteps, Keith let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

I’ve never said this about any soul I’ve known, but something about him… displeases me.

You said it, Keith replied. Sendak’s statement about finding a place for him to work left a tightness in his chest. The thought of possibly going somewhere far from here was frightening. He somehow knew that the farther he went from the desert, the further he’d be from the possibility of regaining his memories and finding the places and people that haunted him. It terrified him.

Red sensed the panic crawling up his throat, and tried to think of someway to help. You should do something physical. I believe the building has a small fitness center. Maybe you’ll feel better if you do something else to get your mind off of it.

Keith was only half listening, but he went along with her suggestion anyway. It wasn’t like he had anything better to do. He quickly changed into some loose clothing and sneakers, then made his way down to the first floor. Red supplied him with the image of where the center was located, and he found it next to the laundry room.

It was relatively large, with a few treadmills along one wall, a weight rack along a wall-length mirror, and various machines scattered around. He went straight to the treadmill and started it, not bothering to stretch. The huge weight on his chest was getting worse, and he needed it gone now. Fortunately, running did just the trick. The tightening in his chest lessened as he took deep breaths to fuel his muscles. Almost instinctively, he turned the speed up until he was practically sprinting. But it felt good. It felt right. He was used to this. His muscles ached, but it was good because they had been stationary and stiff for too long. He relished the feeling of fatigue that settled over him after a few minutes at that pace. It made him feel normal again, and he hadn’t realized just how much he’d needed the exhaustion. It made him feel truly alive.

Out of nowhere, a memory cascaded over him like a wave, and he was drawn into it, reliving it for what felt like the first time.

He swung his foot up onto the rock next to him, and leaned forward to stretch the back of his leg. “To the crystal and back, right?” He said to someone.

“Yup”, a voice replied, excitement evident in his voice. Keith looked towards the person it came from, and his breath hitched.

A tall, tan boy with short, brown hair stood next to him, holding his foot in his hand as he stretched his leg. Keith couldn't help but look him up and down, from his sloped nose to his lean legs and back up to those shining blue eyes.

“You’re going down, mullet”, the boy said as he looked at Keith and grinned. Even this semblance of a smile made his heart thud,, and in that moment he thought he’d never seen a more beautiful face in his life. His eyes were an ocean that he found himself drowning in, and he grinned back when he saw the mischievous glint in them.

“Sure, of course I will”, Keith said, rolling his eyes. “Right after I do this!” He immediately took off sprinting down the hill they were standing on.

He heard a squawk behind him. “Hey! That’s cheating!” He heard thundering footsteps take off after him, but he didn’t look back. He kept going, putting forth all of his effort. Running in the sand was a pain in the ass, but he was used to it by now. Racing once the sun dipped below the mountain was a favorite pastime of everyone he knew, and he was no exception. The burning in his lungs left him feeling free and alive. He loved the feeling of his feet hitting the sand, and the sound of the wind in the canyon up the way, whispering for only them to hear.

He rounded the corner, pushing himself forward against the rock wall beside him. Ahead, he saw the rock formation they had come to know as “the crystal”. The huge chunk of red earth jutted out from the sand, with crystal-like spikes coming out of it. He surged forward and made his way around it, laughing when he saw the other boy approaching it just as he was heading back the way they’d come. He kept going, his lungs and muscles burning worse with each step he took. He let that feeling fuel him, feeding his desire to get back up the mountain before the other boy. He pushed himself as hard as he could until he finally slowed to a stop at the top of the hill where they started.

He put his hands on his back, walking in slow circles while trying to control his breathing. He heard the boy coming up behind him, then turned to see him trudging up the hill, chest heaving.  

“Fuck… you”, he panted in between breaths. “You cheated.”

“You never said when we’d start. I simply took the initiative”, he shot back with a smirk.

The boy glared at him, but there was no real heat behind it. In fact, he seemed to be staring at Keith with a fondness he couldn’t quite comprehend. His heart stuttered at the sight of it. Then, the boy stood, a kind of determination set in his eyes. He reached forward, grabbed Keith’s wrist and yanked him towards himself. Keith gasped, pathetically if he said so himself, as he suddenly found himself nose-to-nose with the boy he had been admiring for who knows how long.

“What are you doing?” Keith didn’t know why he was whispering, but he was too distracted to really try to do much else. This close, he could see all the freckles that were scattered across the boy’s face, and they put his heart into overdrive as he thought about how much they reminded him of the stars.

“Taking the initiative”, the boy whispered back. Keith looked into his eyes and saw that fondness once again, and he found himself struggling to breathe. He was drowning in those blue orbs again, but he couldn’t seem to care as he lost himself among the stars.

Keith’s feet flew out from under him, and suddenly he was flying back, face against the floor as he felt pain shoot through his body. He groaned as he lay there, mind still reeling from the suddenness of the memory.

Are you alright? Red’s voice was concerned.

I’m fine, said Keith. Just caught off guard. He pushed himself off the ground, treadmill forgotten as he sat and thought about the memory again. Something in him had awakened at the thought of the boy from his memory. A new ache, this one worse than the others. It was as though there was a void in him, and he was helpless to figure out what belonged there, but he knew it must have something to do with the boy.

I think we’re done here, Red suggested, and Keith just nodded along with her as he stood on shaky legs, turned off the treadmill, and left the fitness center. Once he was back in his apartment, he made his way to his room to grab some clothes before heading to the bathroom. The weight he had wanted to get rid of was still there, more suffocating than before, and he couldn’t stop thinking about the boy. The more he remembered his face, the more it struck something in him. Why did he feel like something was missing? Why couldn't he remember the name behind those eyes that made his heart race? Why did he feel so guilty about it, who was he?

He was in a daze the rest of the day, not really paying attention to anything besides the newfound emptiness inside him. He kept seeing the boy’s face everywhere he turned, and it wasn’t until he sat down at his table that he realized what made the boy’s face so familiar.

It was because he had painted the stars from them. The canvas with stars scattered around it lay just in front of him, and he gently picked it up. He thought about the boy’s face, and sure enough, the stars aligned with the freckles he had seen on them. He stared at them, unsure what to think.

Clearly, he meant something to you, Red commented.

He didn’t answer her, but the more he thought about it, the bigger the void grew. Soon, it would surely consume him, but he didn’t know if he would even care by then. All he could think about was how much he longed to see these stars again.

Chapter Text

“San Diego?” Keith repeated.

“Yes, one of the professors responded to our inquiry saying he’d be glad to take you on as an assistant. You would be helping him with his classes, and in exchange he’d be happy to help you with any projects you may have.” Seeker Haxus had called him a few days after their last meeting. By then, Keith was waist deep in his sorrow for a boy he no longer knew, and he almost didn’t answer it. He knew it would be the seekers calling about his relocation. At least he wasn’t on the phone with Seeker Sendak.

California sounds nice, Red said. It’s close to the beach. It’ll be a nice change of scenery. This will be good for you.

But California isn’t where he is, Keith argued. If he was ever even in this desert at all.

“When does he need me?”

“The next semester doesn’t start for another two months, but he recommends getting there as soon as you can so you can get settled in. He said he’d be happy to introduce you to some of his students who are the same age so that you can settle in easier.”

Keith sighed internally. I guess I don’t have a choice, do I?

Not unless you somehow remember exactly where this boy of yours is, Red replied.

Keith closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Alright. I’ll take the job.”

“Excellent. Let me give you his contact information so you can let him know. We’ve also already taken the liberty of arranging a place by the campus for you to stay. It’s already furnished, so you only have to bring any personal items you’ve purchased during your stay so far.”

Haxus went on for another ten minutes, describing the highlights of San Diego, and the campus where he would be working. He told Keith he could arrange for him to fly out, but Keith requested a rental car instead. He’d rather not be stranded 30,000 feet in the air with his sworn enemies. As soon as he got off the phone with Seeker Haxus, Red urged him to call the professor. He did, but only because he agreed that the new job was a good distraction from his latest source of despair.

The professor was a rather monotone-voiced man named Kolivan, but he assured Keith that he would be happy in San Diego, and that he and his students would get along just fine. Keith went along with his reassurances, if only to be polite. Despite his gray voice, he seemed genuinely excited to have Keith joining his team.

After the call, he still felt the edges of melancholy eating away at the back of his mind, but he ignored it in favor of rounding up the few things he had actually acquired during his stay. He went down to the service desk and asked for some bags to pack up his canvases, paints, and the clothes he’d bought during that time.

He took a moment to appreciate the star-studded canvas. Since remembering him , he hadn’t had the heart to finish the painting, but decided that he would, one day. Perhaps when his void was finally filled, he would finish the painting.

Once he was done, he called and let the Seekers know he’d be ready to leave tomorrow. He wanted to distance himself from this pain before it made him unrecognizable.

He was finally leaving the nameless town he’d spent almost two months in. A sense of relief washed over him as he sped down the highway, the town shrinking in the distance. Keith fought down his strong urge to floor the gas pedal, Red constantly reminding him to stay below the speed limit. Now that he was actually leaving, he found his shoulders relaxing, and as he set his eyes upon the red sands of the open desert, he found himself breathing easier too.

He knew he had a long trip ahead of him, so he forced himself to stop worrying about the tug in his heart as he thought about the star boy once again. He knew that he’d be miserable if he spent the whole trip thinking about someone that was beyond his reach, so he tried to distract himself. He flipped through the radio stations, nose wrinkling at the music that filtered through his speakers.

Your music was probably too violent for the souls, said Red.

Not all of it, Keith grumbled.

What was your music like then? When Keith didn’t answer, he could almost hear Red gasp. Oh... I apologize, I forgot.

Heh, you forgot? I’m the one who can’t remember shit, Keith said bitterly. Even now, when he tried to recall what kind of music he’d liked, nothing came to mind. He was suddenly angry at himself for making such a rash decision like that. Granted, he hadn’t anticipated that they would be able to get him to a Healing facility so fast, but he still felt the pricks of loathing stabbing at his heart.

He knew why he had done it. It was because the people he’d loved needed to live more than he did. But why couldn’t he just die? For the past two months he hadn’t been able to sleep properly knowing that his absence was probably casing those people anguish. The thought that he hurt the people he loved, even if he couldn't remember them, left him feeling like his heart dropped to his stomach. He meant to protect them, but he also hurt them in doing so.

What would they think if they knew he was alive? If they knew he was running away from them because he was scared to admit that he didn’t know how to handle not knowing them anymore? They had been so intertwined with his own life, that even when he couldn’t remember them, he didn’t know how to function without them. They were his family. He needed them, whether he’d ever admitted it aloud or not. And knowing that they were out there, beyond his reach, hurt like hell.

Keith, Red groaned through his sudden onslaught of emotion. I understand that you’re hurting, but you must try to remain calm. You might hurt someone, or yourself.

Keith blinked back to the present. He hadn’t even realized he had been gripping the steering wheel harder, nor that he had steadily been increasing his speed. He eased his grip on the wheel and his foot off the gas pedal.

Take a deep breath, Red instructed, and Keith complied. I understand that my kind have taken things from you. I know I am likely the last person you would like to hear this from, but there is nothing you can do now. Your memory is gone. Your family thinks you are dead and you don’t even know who they are. There is nothing left for you from that life. Whether you like it or not, we are in this together now. You can choose to be a miserable, hollow person for the rest of our time together, or you can choose to take this second chance you’ve been given and do something with it.

Keith mulled over her words. He didn’t like to admit it, but she had a point. He already knew there was nothing he could do without his memories, but he had chosen to ignore that fact. Perhaps he was hoping for a miracle, hoping that his memory would somehow return fully, and he could go home. The very thought struck a chord of longing in him. But he knew it wasn’t going to happen like that. It could be years before his memory recovered, if at all. There would be no point in wandering aimlessly, depressed and waiting for a blessing that wouldn’t come. Red was right. He could only survive for so long with this grief weighing him down. He was alive and he couldn’t remember shit. Nothing was going to change that. He might as well do something with himself. Besides, even though they didn’t know he was alive, his family would probably feel better knowing he wasn’t suffering. If that meant leaving them behind, then so be it. He didn’t have any other choice.

He thought about the way Red had phrased it: a second chance. He thought about how the souls had taken everything from them. Their planet, their families, their lives. He thought about how he was currently on his way to San Diego to become an artist, because that’s probably what he would have done if they had never been invaded. He thought about the little he could recall of his youth, how he and his brother had been on their own for years, fending for themselves. How sometimes Shiro would go to bed hungry if it meant Keith wouldn’t have to. How Shiro would leave him alone, in a cave or a hollowed out tree in the middle of nowhere, for god knows how long, just to come back with some soul’s measly leftovers and some granola bars. His life had sucked, from what he could remember. Maybe Red was right. Maybe the universe had finally taken pity on him, and given him a way to a better life. A way, mostly, without remorse or pain. A way for him to still be himself, sort of, but have a chance at a better life.

Did he want this better life?

Red seemed happy with his train of thought. Relieved, even. That’s the spirit, she murmured. You can have a better life. You don’t have to live afraid and in pain.

Yeah, maybe you’re right. Even as the words of resignation left his mind’s mouth, he felt of tug of resistance. It came from the void in his heart, where the star-boy-shaped gap was. It pulled him back, whispered in his ear that he was wrong. That if he chose this way, the ghosts of his past would haunt him forever. No matter how hard he tried, he could never leave them behind. Part of him knew, that just like this void in his heart, the family he was leaving behind was part of him. Wherever he went, they would follow. Whether he remembered them or not, they would be there, in the shadows, and he’d never forget that.

He shoved these thoughts aside. They were too painful for him to handle right now, so instead, he focused on the desert. The red earth lay flat around him, save for the mountains in the far distance. He didn’t know why, but something about them was familiar. Something about them called to him, beckoning him towards them. They only strengthened the tugging of the void in his heart, and the grief began to claw its way up his throat, choking him, making him feel dizzy and afraid. So he tore his gaze away from them, and tried to focus on the road.

Eventually, he ended up on a highway where he was practically alone. When there were no other cars left to divert his attention from the red sands, he went to his last resort: he asked Red to tell him about her kind. She filled him in about their history, how they’d started on a planet they called the Origin, and detailed how they’d eventually become colonizers. She told him all about the different planets they’d conquered, and told him more stories of her past lives.

Keith let himself be drawn into the stories. While he started out ignoring the fact that he was willingly learning about his enemies’ history, he eventually began to tolerate it as he became immersed in Red’s tales. He asked her questions about the different species she’d lived as, and she was more than happy to recount her last two life terms as a Bear.

He found himself gasping aloud as Red provided him with images of these fantastical worlds he’d never seen. He saw the giant ocean she lived in when she when she was a See Weed, and he marveled with her at the ice sculptures she’d seen during her first life term as a Bear. She clued him in on the controversy behind the Fire World, and how the dominant species ate the ashes of lower, but still sentient, life forms. He didn’t notice that the sun had been getting lower and lower in the sky until it was dangerously close to disappearing behind the mountains he had been pointedly ignoring.

The lowering sun began to cast shadows in his car, and he found himself glancing at the passenger seat, as if he expected someone to be sitting there. At certain points in Red’s stories, when he was particularly fascinated by something, he actually turned his head to look next to him, freezing when his eyes landed on the empty space there. He had even spoken aloud without really thinking about what he was doing, and stopping mid-sentence when he realized he was just talking to the darkness in the seat next to him.

He had been particularly shaken after he’d found himself actually reach out to the empty space, and had jerked back, scaring himself and Red when the car swerved a little. It was in this moment when he realized he had stopped paying attention to where he was. When he glanced out of the window, he realized he didn’t know where he was.

Or did he?

The stretch of land before him was eerily familiar, and it dawned on him that he had been guided here by something. Suddenly, everything he’d found himself doing during the car ride made sense. Somewhere deep in his brain, he had recognized where he was, and his brain directed his body to follow movements he’d done a million times before. He gasped aloud as it dawned on him. He remembered. Not consciously, but he remembered nonetheless. He knew this place. This was the place that had called to him. He knew where he was going.

He was going home.

He was vaguely aware of Red trying to talk him out of the plan that was forming in his mind. She was saying something about his second chance. He shoved her thoughts aside and sped up.

Screw his second chance. He was going home.

Chapter Text

Keith, please think about what you’re doing, Red pleaded. He ignored her in favor of paying close attention to the desert. His heart was drumming in his chest at the anticipation of seeing his family again. Maybe they could help him regain his memory.

Ahead, he saw a huge boulder off the side of the road, and he vaguely recognized it. He wasn’t sure why until he got closer. Barely discernible after years of wear from the weather, the rock was in the unmistakable shape of a lion. Only recognizable to someone who knew to look for it.

In a flash, he saw himself in a familiar looking car, looking at the same rock from the backseat. There was a small, pale hand pointing it out to him, and telling him the story behind it. It was from an ancient civilization, and it was used as a landmark to guide people to the same place they were going.

“The Castle of Lions”, he whispered as it came back to him. Once he got close enough, he turned the car to veer around it and headed right into the desert.

This is insane! Red protested. How can you be sure you know where you’re going? We’re going to end up stranded in the middle of the desert and no one will find us until it is too late!

Red, shut up and trust me. Keith kept to an invisible path he was amazed he could remember, and pushed on the gas just a little bit more. He was starting to buzz with anticipation as the reality of it settled in his heart. He was going to see his family again. He had missed them so much, but he’d be with them soon. He didn’t realize he was crying until Red complained about not being able to see properly. He hastily wiped them away and kept going.

He saw two more lions in the desert, and made sure to go in their direction when he did. His heart hammered away against his ribcage, and he was vibrating in his seat with his pent up anticipation. He couldn’t think about anything else besides getting home. At some point, he maneuvered his way into a cavern between two mountains, and saw barely-there drawings along the walls. Eventually, the cavern became too narrow to drive through, so he got out and continued on foot.

Keith trailed his hands over the markings on the wall. They depicted people of an ancient civilization bowing down to several giant lions. A few times, he saw the drawing of a huge woman, with the head of a lion. He guessed it must have been the deity they worshipped.

Finally, the narrow path opened up to a large clearing. The mountain loomed over him, and he saw that he was in the middle of what looked to have once been a courtyard of sorts. The red earth before the mountain looked to be carved into steps, and there were structures that resembled fountains that lined the walls around him. He looked ahead and saw what likely used to be a grand entrance to the castle. Now, it more resembled a crack in the mountain, with rough edges and an undefined shape.

Excitement flowed through Keith’s veins, making him start forward with renewed vigor. Once he was close enough, he saw the hole in the mountainside opened up to a black tunnel, but he pushed in without a second thought.

We can’t see anything, Red moaned. We’re going to get lost and then no one will ever find us!

Keith continued to ignore her and kept walking forward, albeit a bit awkwardly since he couldn’t see. He slowed down and put his hands out, searching for anything he might run into. He stumbled blindly through the dark until his hands hit a solid wall. He felt around until his left hand hit what seemed like another wall, so he turned right and kept going, keeping his hands on the wall.

He turned a corner and saw light spilling out into the hall he was in. His breath caught in his throat, and he walked towards where it was coming from. After his eyes adjusted, he saw that it was a doorway of sorts, and he picked up his pace. When he finally walked through it, he stopped.

Keith was now inside a giant cavern, and the light came from a gaping hole in the ceiling. There was a raised platform of earth in front of him, and several misshapen boulders on top of it. When he finally looked around, his breath stopped. There were people in the cavern, but they hadn’t seemed to notice him yet. A few were walking towards another opening in the wall, moving with purpose. There was a small group sitting at the base of the platform, but he didn’t immediately recognize any of them. At the other end, there was yet another opening, and when he noticed it, he felt a tug in his heart, so he started moving towards it.

Suddenly, a tall man with sandy blonde hair stepped through it, moving somewhat lazily through the cavern, when his eyes landed on Keith and he stopped. His jaw dropped as his eyes raked over him, and he took a small step forward.

“Olia,” he called out, and one of the people sitting in front of the platform turned to him. It was a young woman with short, wild caramel hair, and she stood to walk to him until her eyes landed on Keith as well. She gasped, and the others around her soon mirrored her. One of them jumped to his feet, and now that he could see him better, Keith realized he did recognize him. His mop of messy brown hair was familiar, and he recognized the scar on his cheek, but he couldn’t, for the life of him, put a name to his face.

“Keith?”, the familiar-looking boy gasped. He stepped towards Keith, coming level with the first man, who was looking at him with glassy eyes.

“Olia, go get Allura.” The girl turned and ran through the entrance the man had come through. “Is it really you?” The first man continued to walk towards Keith, who stood frozen by the entrance he had come through, still somewhat shrouded in shadow. The other boy followed closely behind him, hand on his hip as he walked.

Keith began to walk towards them, to meet them in the center of the room. When they got closer, he saw that the man’s eyes were glassy. “Oh my god, Takashi’s gonna flip his shit when he sees you. Do you know how torn he was when he found out…” He trailed off as he stopped in the middle of the room, making Keith stop as well. His eyes widened in shock, and he slowly put his hands in front of him.

He heard the other guy whisper “Oh god, no,” as he stopped too.

“Okay,” the first man said. “I’m gonna need everyone to stay where they are, and remain calm.”

Keith’s brows furrowed in confusion, but he stayed put anyway. The air seemed to grow heavy with tension, but he wasn’t sure why. These two clearly knew who he was, and they might have even been his friends. So why were they acting like this?

The light, boy, Red whispered. They can see your eyes now.

What are you talking about?

You never noticed the ring of light in the eyes of the souls? It’s another way they distinguish between your kind and mine. It reflects the light. Look at the wall.

When he did as he was told, he saw what she meant. Two small patches of light were on the wall, and wherever his eyes went, they followed. His blood turned cold. They thought he was a soul. He didn’t even stop to think about what would happen when he got here. He completely ignored the fact that even though he was in control, there was still a soul inside him. He was trying to think of what to say or do, when the girl named Olia came back, followed by another woman.

She was tall, lean, and dark-skinned, and she walked with the grace and presence of royalty. Her bright, white hair was pulled up high on her head in a ponytail. When she saw Keith, her eyes widened and she stepped towards them.

“Keith?” When she got to the side of the man, he held out his arm to stop her. She looked at him with her brows pinched. “Adam, what’s going on?”

“I walked in and he was just… standing there”, the man, Adam, answered. His name created a spark of familiarity in him, and he vaguely remembered that this man had some relation to his brother.

“Adam?” Keith wondered aloud, and he jumped when the man’s head snapped in his direction. His brows matched the woman’s, and he turned back to her.

“He’s inhabited,” he said simply.

The woman’s face fell. Her face pinched in horror for a moment, before she resigned herself to a blank stare. “Matt, give me your gun.”

Keith was sure that at this point, he most likely blanched. The guy named Matt sighed, then pulled a gun from the holster on his hip, and handed it to the woman’s waiting hand. Immediately, she cocked it and pointed the gun at Keith.

This seemed to snap him out of his frozen shock, and he put his hands up above his head. “Wait!” He cried out. “Please, I’m not gonna hurt you!”

The woman ignored him. “Matt, go get Coran. Tell him things might get messy.”

Matt closed his eyes, his face contorted in pain. “Okay,” he said before he went through the opening on the other end of the cavern.

Keith’s eyes followed him, and when he was gone his gaze snapped back to the woman. He felt a twist in his chest, as a name floated to his consciousness. “Allura?”

Her brow twitched when he said her name, but she kept her composure. “How did you find this place?” she demanded.

Keith took a breath before he spoke. “I was driving on the highway, on my way to California, but… Something pulled me here. Somehow, I ended up on a deserted highway and I didn’t know where I was. But then I did. I recognized the lions, and then I remembered how to get here.”

Allura’s eyes narrowed. “Who are you?”

“It’s me, Keith! I swear to you! Somehow I survived after they put this thing in my head, and--”

“So there is a soul in your body?”

Keith mentally kicked himself. “Yes,” he answered quietly.

“Then how do we know you’re the real Keith?”

He was silent. He had no answer for her. He still didn’t have his memories, so he couldn’t use those to back him up. Besides, it wouldn’t do much since the souls could access those anyway.

Allura interrupted his thoughts. “Who is the defender of the universe?”

Keith’s head snapped up to look at her. “What?”

“Who is the defender of the universe?”, she repeated. Her eyes betrayed her poker face, and she gave him a pleading look. She must have been important to him, because despite not remembering her, he could read through her façade. She was hoping he could prove that he was the real Keith. Despite the face she put on, she was scared. She didn’t want to shoot Keith, but he knew she would if he couldn’t prove himself to be truthful.

Just before he could try to give her an answer, Matt returned with a tall ginger man. When he saw Keith, his mustache seemed to quiver.

“My boy, is it really you?”

Keith’s brain supplied the name for this man. “Coran?”

“He hasn't answered the question yet”, Allura told him.

Coran’s face fell at this information, and he turned to Allura. “Well, I brought the supplies anyway.” It was then that Keith noticed his arms held a black mass of canvas with gloved hands, and behind him was Matt, with a stretcher and a bucket on top of that. A chill went down his spine as he connected the dots. It was for him, if Allura killed him.

Answer the question, said Red, panicked. Who is the defender of the universe?

I don't know what she's talking about! Keith said, now equally as panicked. He got the sense that these people were important to him, but they were one wrong answer away from putting him six feet under.

His heart was ready to jump out of his rib cage. “I'm sorry, I don't know. I can't remember anything.”

Keith heard the sighs of disappointment from all around him, and saw it mirrored in Allura’s eyes. She closed them for just a moment before she opened them, eyes set in a glare.

“I'm sorry,” she whispered.

“Wait!” Adam dashed in front of Allura, and she jumped in surprise. They had a quiet conversation before Adam turned to Keith. “What do you mean you can’t remember anything?”

Keith silently thanked the universe that Adam seemed to have faith in him. “The accident I was in,” he said. “I took a nasty blow to my head. I can’t really remember anything past a certain point. I've actually been able to get bits and pieces since then, but everything’s still pretty hazy.”

“Do you happen to have any proof of this head injury?” Adam asked. He sounded hopeful.

Keith was about to shake his head when he remembered his scar. “On the side of my head--”

He didn’t get a chance to continue before Adam was moving forward. He stood before Keith and took his head in his hands. He saw Adam’s eyes linger on the scar on his face before he focused his attention on his head. Keith could feel his fingers grazing over his scalp, running back and forth along the ridge on his head. He pulled Keith’s hair up, examined it, then turned to show Allura.

She pursed her lips and turned to look at Coran, who had walked up to them to get a better look.

He hummed before he turned toward her as well. “Well, I'd say a blow that could cause damage like that would definitely be able to cause the memory loss he described.”

She nodded in thought. “So it could still be the real Keith?”

“Takashi raised him”, Adam spoke up. “They may not be related by blood, but if he could survive, then so could Keith.” Adam gave him a small smile. “They’re stubborn like that.”

Keith pictured the tall, dark-haired man from his memory, and he nearly cried in relief. Thank the universe Adam trusted his brother.

Allura stood quietly for a moment longer, then sighed. “Alright, here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to wait for the others to return from their raid, and then we’ll have a meeting. We all need to agree on what we’re going to do with him.” Allura nodded towards Keith. “I understand what you’re saying, Adam, but we still need to be careful. I don’t want to take any chances. Too many people are relying on us to protect them.”

Adam nodded, a little solemnly, but he stood up straighter and addressed Allura. “I’ll take him our room.”

“Adam!” Allura said, exasperated. “No! That’s too risky. Take him to the pits. He can’t do any harm there.”

Adam sighed but nodded. He grabbed Keith’s arm and started to walk him towards one of the cave’s openings.

“Wait!” Allura pulled a bandana out of her back pocket. “Cover his eyes. We don’t need him getting any ideas.” Adam rolled his eyes but took the bandana anyway. He whispered a quiet apology to Keith before he wrapped the cloth around his eyes.

Taking his arm again, Adam began to lead Keith to whatever the “pits” were. He tried not to think about what they might do to him, and instead focused on the fact that he had almost literally dodged a bullet. Now that there wasn’t a gun to his head? He could finally relish in the fact that he’d done it. He was home. He let the relief and happiness of the thought wash over him, and if he weren’t still in a precarious position, he might’ve even cried.

He took a deep breath, letting the musty smell of the caves fill his lungs. The air gave him a sense of comfort. He could vaguely recall images of the caves in his mind. The tunnel that led to the kitchen, the one that led to the gardens. He felt more at ease than he had been in the past few months. But there was still something missing. The hole in his heart was still there; admittedly, it felt less gaping, but it was still there. He wasn’t whole yet.

Adam slowly pulled them to a stop, and Keith’s heartbeat picked up a bit more. Adam’s hand moved to his shoulder.

“Stay right here.” Keith nodded, and Adam’s hand left his shoulder. He heard a scuffling somewhere behind him, which then took on an echo when it moved in front of him. Keith jumped a little when Adam’s hand touched his shoulder again.

“Alright. You’re gonna go down, so watch yourself.” He guided Keith forward then turned him around. He moved back until his feet were no longer on solid ground, which made his stomach drop. He moved down until he could feel something solid beneath him. Once he realized it was a ladder, he had a better sense of where he was going and moved quickly. As soon as his feet hit rock again, he stepped back and took off the blindfold.

He was in a big, round hole deep in the earth, and he tied the bandana around the ladder as Adam began lifting it out. There was nowhere for him to go. It was the perfect prison cell.

“I’m sorry you have to be here,” Adam told him. “I’m gonna see about getting you a cot or something so you’re not sleeping on the ground. Hopefully Allura’s feeling generous.” He gave Keith another small smile, which he now gladly returned.

“Thanks, Adam.”

He nodded, and was about to walk away when he turned and looked down at Keith. “You said you got some parts of your memory back?” He waited for Keith to nod before continuing. “Do you remember me?”

Keith thought for a moment, trying as hard as he could to conjure a single memory of Adam, but nothing came. He shook his head. “No, I’m sorry.”

Adam nodded thoughtfully. “Do you remember Takashi?” When Keith nodded, he grinned. “Good. I’ll make sure to bring him around as soon as he gets back. You better get ready. He’s gonna give you a piece of his mind when he sees you.”  

Keith couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of him at that remark, and Adam’s smile grew. When he finally left, Keith felt the loneliness begin to sink in. He was home, but he was also in dangerous waters, and he couldn’t relax just yet. He couldn’t remember any of the other humans here, so he’d have to be on guard in case anyone came around to try something.

Well, I suppose we’d better get comfortable for now, he said, mostly to himself.

Indeed. It looks like we might be here awhile.

Chapter Text

Keith was crouched in a dark corner as he waited for the rest of the souls to leave. He’d set off a fire on the other end of the building, and just as he’d hoped, they evacuated the whole facility. He waited a few moments after the last one left, then dashed further into the building. He hoped he wasn’t too late. 

He turned down hallway after hallway, looking for something that might give him an idea as to where he might be. Thankfully, the souls seemed to like simplicity, so their signs and labels were very straightforward. Finally, he found a door labeled Hosts and froze. This had to be it.

Just before he could enter, he heard a familiar click, and someone yelled, “Stop right there!’

He turned towards the voice. There was a tall, tan boy standing at the end of the hallway, with a rifle pointed at Keith. He’d learned from years of observing from afar that the souls were extremely pacifist creatures, which could only mean one thing.

He was human. The suddenness of this realization had his mind reeling. This was the first human being, besides Shiro, that he’d seen in nearly 8 years. He almost swayed where he stood.

“Who are you and what are you doing?”, the boy demanded. His voice had an edge to it, but Keith was still trying to grasp the fact that he was a human. 

“Lance!”, someone else called. A taller, stocky-looking guy came around the corner, boxes in hand and face soft with concern. As soon as he saw Keith, however, he put on a stone face and glared. “You okay?” 

“Fine, just trying to figure out what this guy’s deal is”, the guy named Lance responded. “Tell me who you are or I’ll shoot! I don’t have time for this!”

Before Keith could say anything, another significantly smaller figure emerged from behind the stocky guy. They were wearing a green sweater, cargo pants, and big, round glasses that made it hard to see their face. It also didn’t help that their short brown hair was all over the place. But he knew them, he could swear he did. His suspicion was confirmed when they gasped. 

“Keith?” their voice wobbled a bit. It finally clicked. He’d seen that messy mop of hair before, on her older brother. 

Keith pulled down the bandana covering the lower half of his face. “Pidge?”

At the sound of her name, Pidge dashed forward and threw her arms around Keith’s torso. “Oh my god! I thought I’d never see you again! We came back and your parents told us you and Shiro had--” she stopped short, then looked up at Keith, tears still streaking her face. “Where’s Shiro?”

“Shiro? Keith?” The stocky guy’s brow furrowed. “As in your childhood friends?”

“Yeah. Where is Shiro?” Pidge repeated.

Keith looked down at her grim-faced. “He was taken about a year ago,”he told her quietly. Her eyes widened in shock. “But earlier today, I was scouting out a place to get supplies and I saw him. I followed him here, and once I found out what this place was, I waited out back. I started the fire so everyone would leave. I was hoping that…” He trailed off, but Pidge seemed to understand, and she set her jaw and gave Keith a look that vaguely reminded him of her brother. 

She turned to the other two. “Hunk, take those to the truck and get it ready. Lance, you and I are gonna help Keith.”

Hunk nodded and took off in the other direction, while Lance finally lowered his rifle and stared at Pidge incredulously. “What the hell are you talking about? What are we doing?” 

Pidge didn’t answer him. She nodded at Keith, who turned to the door and opened it, muscles tense and ready for a fight. Pidge entered behind him, and gasped when her eyes landed on rows upon rows of bodies. The room was freezing, and Keith dashed around, peeking under the cloth that covered each body. Pidge began to help him while Lance stood by the door. 

“What the hell is going on Pidge?” 

“Shut up and get ready to help Keith,” she snapped at Lance. He clenched his jaw and glared at Keith, who wasn’t paying attention to him. The further down the row he got, the more his chest tightened. What if he wasn’t in the right place? What if Shiro wasn’t here at all? They didn’t have much time before the firefighters would be here. What if he couldn’t find him?

Finally, Keith picked up a cloth and gasped. The sleeping face of his brother was right in front of him. At least, he hoped he was just sleeping. 

“Shiro?” Keith whispered, eyes pooling with tears. After a year of being on his own, he finally had his brother back. 

“Good. Lance, give me the gun and help Keith carry Shiro,” Pidge ordered, sticking her hand out. 

“What the-- Why me?” Lance exclaimed. 

“Lance!” Pidge glared at him. “We don’t have time for this!”

Lance groaned, and handed the rifle to Pidge, then headed over to where Keith was. He didn’t say anything to him as he took one of Shiro’s arms and threw it around his shoulder. Keith followed suit and then they were following Pidge out of the room. They kept up a slow jog as Pidge led them out the back of the building, where Hunk had a small cargo truck waiting for them. Far in the distance, they could hear sirens blaring. 

“Just get in the back!” Pidge ran around to the passenger’s door, threw it open and jumped in. The back doors slammed open a second later, and Pidge helped them settle Shiro into the back. As soon as the doors were closed, Hunk locked them and ran to the driver’s seat. He turned the truck on and floored the gas, sending Keith and Lance tumbling back. Keith landed against the door, and Lance ended up somewhat on top of him. They didn’t dare move until Hunk finally slowed down. Lance looked up at Keith, then blushed and pushed himself off. 

“So who the fuck are you?” Lance demanded. Keith narrowed his eyes at him, and was about to say something in response when he suddenly had an armful of Pidge. 

“I can’t believe you’re here,'' she whispered. 

He chuckled and hugged her tightly. “It’s good to see you too Pidge.”

She sat back and smiled, then turned around to look at Shiro. “So what happened?”

Keith frowned. “Well, I was only able to catch snippets from where I was hiding, but basically the thing was complaining that it kept having nightmares and no matter who it talked to they wouldn’t stop. The other one told them they’d get them a new ‘host’, and that they’d ‘dispose’ of Shiro just because the damn thing couldn’t control him.”

Pidge put a hand on Keith’s arm. “Wait, I thought that people were erased after they were taken? How do you know Shiro’s gonna wake up?”

Keith shut his eyes. “I don’t. But… I was alone for a year, Pidge. When I saw him today… I couldn’t just let him go. Especially not after finding out what they were gonna do to him. I had to try. I know he’d do the same for me.”

Pidge wrapped an arm around Keith’s shoulder. “It’ll be okay Keith. You’re not alone anymore.”

“Yeah, man.” Keith jumped a little at Hunk’s sudden, enthusiastic agreement. He was smiling at Keith in the rearview mirror. “Any friend of Pidge is our friend too.” His smile was so warm and genuine, Keith found himself giving a small smile back. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Keith saw Pidge look expectantly at Lance. He sat in the corner, pointedly looking at the wall next to him. Pidge let out a small sigh and smiled at Keith again. “Don’t worry, he’ll come around.” 

“Uh, Pidge?” said Hunk. “I hate to be a party-pooper, but what exactly are we gonna tell Allura?”

“Allura can kick them out over my dead body,” Pidge said. “Matt will back me up. Keith and Shiro are part of the team now, whether Allura likes it or not.”

The rest of the drive was silent, save for when Pidge pointed out the stone lions to Keith, explaining that they would lead to their base, the Castle of Lions. 

Apparently, Allura’s father, Alfor, had been an archeologist, and he was the one who had discovered the castle. He witnessed someone being taken over by a soul, and had ordered Coran, his closest friend, to take Allura and hide. Once it became evident that the invasion was a success, they went to the Castle of Lions. It was the perfect hideout. Since it had once been a castle, it had established crop grounds, a kitchen area, as well as a natural spring located somewhere in the caves. Eventually, Coran crossed paths with other humans, and slowly began to build an alliance with them. Pidge, her family, Hunk, and Lance had all stumbled upon them a few years prior. Hunk, Lance, Pidge, and Matt had stayed with Allura, while Pidge and Matt’s parents went with another group that needed doctors. 

Pidge rambled on while Hunk drove, and when they finally arrived she grew quiet, and a look of determination set on her face.

“Lance, go tell Coran and Adam we need help over here, quickly.” Lance rolled his eyes, but climbed out and ran ahead. Hunk opened the back doors and began gathering boxes while Pidge paced outside the truck. Keith sat next to Shiro, unsure what to do. He looked down at his brother, now that he had time to take a good look at him. He had a strange, lonely tuft of white hair at the front of his head, and a huge scar stretched across his nose and cheeks. Keith leaned in close and could just barely make out the sound of his breathing. 

Finally, Lance came back, followed by a tall, ginger-haired man with a huge mustache, and a younger-looking man with tanned skin and glasses. They carried a stretcher with them, and set it down in front of the truck. 

“Keith, this Coran--”, Pidge gestured to the ginger, who gave him a wide smile. “--and this is Adam.” The other man gave him a small smile, then helped Coran get Shiro onto the stretcher. “They’re our resident doctors. They’re gonna do whatever they can to help Shiro.”

“Pidge!” A woman’s voice echoed through the cave they were in, and Pidge rolled her eyes.

“And that would be Allura, the woman of the house.”

A young woman stormed into view, brandishing a broadsword and looking deadly. " Why have you led strangers back here? You know the rules--”

“Yeah, yeah. You have mighty authority ‘cause you own the place. But I can vouch for them! Matt can--Where is Matt? Matt!”

Matt came careening around the corner, sliding comically on the sand before bolting to where everyone was gathered. His eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when he saw Keith.

“Keith? Shiro? Oh my god, I can’t believe you guys are alive! It’s so great to see you!”

“Matt, Allura’s trying to kick them out!”

“What? Oh no, you can’t do that. ‘Cause here’s the thing--Pidge and I have known these two for as long as we can remember. They’re pretty much family. And your rules do say--”

"That’s for immediate family!”

“Well we grew up with each other, so they might as well be!” Pidge told Allura. “I’m not taking ‘no’ for an answer. Either they can stay, or I’m leaving with them.” Pidge crossed her arms and scowled at Allura. 

Allura looked between Keith and where Adam and Coran were looking over Shiro. Finally, she sighed and pinched her nose. “Fine. But you’re never pulling this shit again, understand?”

Pidge’s face broke into a huge smile. “Thank you, Allura.”

Matt tackled Keith into a hug, and he chuckled a little as he returned the gesture. 

“Hey, I think he’s waking up!” Adam called out. Keith was at his side in an instant. 

“Shiro? Can you hear me? Come on Shiro, wake up. I know you can do it.”

Shiro groaned, and his face scrunched up. Finally, his eyes peeled open, one at a time. “Keith?” He murmured weakly. “Is that you?”

Keith let out a watery laugh. “Yeah Shiro, it’s me. And you’ll never believe who I found.” 

____________________

Keith peeled his eyes open and stretched, letting out a groan as he felt his aching back. He’d fallen asleep on the ground, after Adam had failed to come back with a cot. 

I guess Allura wasn’t feeling too generous, Keith thought. Although if his newly recovered memory was anything to go by, the girl could be a bitch when she wanted to be. 

Speaking of your memory, Red commented, it seems your star boy finally has a name. 

Keith stared at the rock ceiling as he realized she was right. His name was Lance. Now that he thought about it, he could recall Matt mentioning him to Keith just before he had sacrificed himself, so Lance must have been important to him. But in this memory, it seemed they had just met, and Lance had acted cold towards Keith. When had things changed between them? And what was it that made things change?

“Oh my god… Keith?” Keith had heard this voice enough times by now to recognize it. He sat up and his eyes found the familiar tuft of white hair and face scar. Shiro. His brother. 

Shiro had tears running down his cheeks. “You dumbass. Matt told us you were dead. What the hell were you thinking? You’re lucky you’re down there or I’d be kicking your ass right now!” He wiped furiously at his eyes. “Well? Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

Keith felt his own tears falling. “I missed you”, he said. 

Shiro’s watery glare softened, and he let out a laugh. When he looked back at Keith, he had a huge smile on his face. “I missed you too, kiddo.”

Chapter Text

“I can’t believe you’re here,” said Shiro.

“I know, me too.”

As they shed their tears, Shiro questioned Keith about what he’d been doing for the past few months. He didn’t miss the way Shiro’s eyes kept going back to the scars on his face and arms. Keith told him about his painting and Seeker Sendak with his slight obsession about finding the “rebel humans”. Shiro frowned at first, but seemed pleased that Sendak didn’t get what he wanted. 

“Nice job keeping your lips sealed, kid.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “It’s not like I had to try. I could barely even remember who you were. I didn’t even remember where this place was until I was out on the highway.”

At the mention of the highway Shiro’s face grew somber. “That was a hell of a stunt you pulled back there.”

“I thought it was the only way to slow them down. They almost had us surrounded and I couldn’t let them find you. Or anyone. I just reacted.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” Shiro said softly. “I trusted your judgement then, and I trust it now. But I won’t tell you it didn’t hurt.”

Keith nodded. Shiro was the only family he had left. The year he spent alone was the hardest of his life, and it had killed him thinking he’d lost his only brother.  He couldn’t imagine what it had been like for Shiro, to be brought back from an alien coma, reunited with his brother, only to experience the same loss Keith did. 

“So… what’s it like?” 

Keith looked up. “What?”

Shiro pointed to his head. “You know… having one of them in your head.”

I believe he means me, said Red.

“Yeah, no shit,” Keith mumbled.

“What?”

“Not you,” Keith said. “It’s… I mean it’s kind of the same? Except I’ve got an extra voice in my head, and it’s almost like talking to myself.”

“Huh. What do they have to say?”

I think these questions are pointless. Nothing changes the fact that I’m a soul and the rest of your companions want me and my kind dead.

“She’s cranky.”

“She?”

“Yeah, her name’s Red. She’s alright as far as company goes. At least I wasn’t really alone all that time. I think I would’ve gone crazy if I had been. She’s got good stories.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“She tells me about the other planets the souls have conquered.  She’s only lived on two other planets, but they’ve got a few under their belt.”

“Wow, that must be neat,” Shiro said, but Keith could see his excitement. For the longest time Shiro had wanted to be an astronaut and be one of the first to make contact with extraterrestrial life. No one counted on them initiating contact though. And definitely not like this.

“So… what happens now?”

Shiro sighed. “Things have been kind of hectic since we got back. They weren’t expecting us so soon, but we were afraid we’d blown our cover after Lance made us stop at Sonic and made a fuss about milkshakes, so we came back early.”

“Lance?”

Shiro tensed and looked at Keith. “Do you remember him?”

Ocean eyes, starry freckles. Steely glare and steady hands. 

“Yeah.” 

“How much do you remember?”

“Not a lot,” Keith admitted. 

Shiro nodded to himself. “Allura doesn’t want us to tell you anything. She doesn’t want to chance that you’re inhabited by a Seeker, and might use anything you have against us.”

Well, technically I was a Seeker once.

Shut up Red.

“So I guess that means you’re not supposed to tell me about the raid you just got back from?” Keith said with an amused smirk.

Shiro glared at him and opened his mouth to retort before someone else spoke. 

“Takashi, we’ve gotta go. Allura’s called the meeting.” Adam came into view as he helped Shiro to his feet. Keith saw flashes of what must be memories, and he saw Adam helping Shiro to his feet in a dark cavern lit by lanterns, and saw them walking hand in hand to the kitchen, heard himself making fun of them as they kissed. 

“Oh, Adam!” The man jumped and turned abruptly to Keith. “I remember you now!”

Adam rolled his eyes. “Tch. Figures you’d only recognize me when we’re in the same room again.”

“Aw, it’s only because you can never keep your hands off me,” Shiro teased. Adam scoffed but let Shiro plant a kiss on his cheek. 

Spurred by the joy of his newly recovered memories, Keith made an exaggerated groan. “Ugh, we get it, you’re in love!”

Adam scoffed. “You’re one to talk, you and Lance-” 

“Hey! How about that meeting, love? You do remember we’re debating the fate of my little brother, right?”

Adam’s eyes narrowed, but he let Shiro pull him out of Keith’s sight.

“We’ll be back!” Shiro called over his shoulder. They left Keith alone with no one but Red to hear his racing heartbeat. What did Adam mean about him and Lance? Had the two of them… Were they… 

Keith thought back to their initial meeting. They hadn’t even exchanged so much as their names and Lance had already decided he despised Keith. He had barely even looked at him. But then in the memory from the treadmill, they’d been teasing and laughing like there had never been a shred of malice between them. They seemed light around each other, and it was such a stark contrast to the night they’d met Keith could’ve gotten whiplash. And the way he’d looked at Lance, the way Lance had pulled him against his body, made him breathless… 

The way he was breathless now, because Lance was standing right in front of him. His black t-shirt was rumpled, as though he’d slept in it, and there was a barely noticeable darkness beneath his eyes. As he looked down at Keith, his hand tightened around the hilt of the knife attached to his waist. With a start, Keith realized it was his knife, the one he’d handed to Matt before he sacrificed himself. He’d asked Matt to tell him he was sorry… and that he loved him. 

Time seemed to freeze, along with the blood in Keith’s veins. Oh, god. So it was true. He and Lance had been together. But even if he hadn’t remembered that night, there was no denying the way his body reacted at the sight of Lance. It was like there was a string between them, and having Lance so close tugged him to his feet. His eyes locked onto those ocean eyes that made him want to drown in the best way possible, and his heart hammered in his chest.

Lance made no indication that he felt the same way. His hand remained on the blade, and his eyes as cold as the Arctic. 

Keith’s heart stuttered at the sight. Lance didn’t believe it. How could he? It was too good to be true. Was he supposed to just believe that his supposedly dead boyfriend had survived a sacrificial kamikaze attempt and had returned so they could live happily ever after?

Or maybe Keith was wrong. There was still so much he didn’t know, and just because he’d said he loved Lance, it didn’t mean Lance loved him back. Sure, maybe Lance had been flirty in the desert memory, and maybe Adam had implied he and Lance had shared something, but it didn’t guarantee anything. Just because you kissed someone didn’t mean you were in love. 

As Lance continued to stare down at him, Keith’s heart began to climb into his throat. Could it be possible that he’d completely misread things? Maybe Lance had never been interested in Keith. His deathbed proclamation of love could’ve simply been his acceptance of death, and thus he felt he had nothing to lose by admitting his feelings. 

It could be a million different complicated things, but as long as Keith’s mind was blank, and his friends were forbidden to tell him anything, he would never know what things were like between him and Lance. If there was even anything to say. 

His own fists clenched as Lance continued to stare for what felt like centuries, and he tried to open his mouth to say something, anything that would let him know he was really home. Whatever that meant for them. 

Finally, Lance clenched his jaw, turned on his heel, and began to walk away. As he faded from Keith’s sight, that string he felt only moments ago tugged him again, and his feet took him after Lance. It was involuntary, the way he seemed drawn to Lance. Just how did he get to this point? How did it come to this? He could barely hear the echoes of Lance’s feet when in a sudden hitch of his breath, the only word he could utter was a strangled “Lance.”

He could swear he heard the steps falter. But it could’ve just been his imagination. Wishful thinking. Because it was only a moment before the steps picked up speed and faded. 

His sudden departure left an equally sudden aftermath. Keith’s knees buckled as a thousand emotions swirled inside him. All at once, his heart dropped into his twisting stomach, leaving him dizzy and nauseous. What had just happened? Was this what unreciprocated love felt like? To see someone who lights your veins on fire and leaves you to burn?

He didn’t think he could even be mad at Lance. At least the fire was warm. God, how did he get here? How did he end up in a place where one boy had so much influence on him and could sway him so easily?

These emotions make no sense, Red complained.

You’re telling me.

Why would he not just tell you he does not reciprocate your feelings? Assuming your friend delivered your message, he knows how you feel. Why must things be so unnecessarily complicated?

Welcome to the human existence, Keith said. 

Red sighed. You could take a lesson from my people. By being honest and open with each other, there are never any hurt feelings or anxiety about what others think of us. We all live peacefully and things are easy and smooth. Never any violence or negative emotions.

You forget that your people are the reason we’re here to begin with. You are the reason we’re in this position. They can’t trust me while you’re in my head. There’s nothing I can say to guarantee them I won’t turn on them at any given moment.

But you are clearly in control. Why would a soul come to a rebel human base without protection from Seekers?

For all they know we could be a Seeker. What if there was someone like Seeker Sendak in my head? Who’s to say he wouldn’t pull a stunt like this and lead Seekers back to the base? You said yourself that you didn’t like him. That he wasn’t like other souls. 

Red considered this for a moment. I suppose I see your point. Though I still think human emotions are far too complicated. How did you survive so long with irrationalities like these?

Look at our history. There have been plenty of times when we almost didn’t.

And yet another thing!

Keith was too tired to argue with her as she continued to criticize humanity and its long, dark history. Most of what she knew came from Keith’s memories, the few things he’d learned in school and picked up through the years. Pidge’s parents had taught them all a few things, and some of their connections had held onto things like old literature and history books. No one knew if the souls would try to completely erase humanity from existence, but many of the survivors wanted to ensure that, despite its bloodiness, their history remained, if only to be learned from.

Red quieted some time after Keith slumped against the wall of their cell. The silence weighed on them both as they painfully awaited the verdict. Would they be given a chance to prove they meant no harm? Or would Allura shoot them in the head without hesitation?

Which way would Lance vote?

Keith hated waiting, that much seemed to be evident. Once he could no longer resign himself to sitting on the floor, he started pacing. There was a strange itch underneath his skin. He couldn’t stay still and do nothing while practical strangers were deciding whether he lived or died. He loved his brother, and trusted him with his life, but it was still hard for him to just hope that he would be able to make a case for him. The itch spread from his chest down his arms, and he started shaking them out.

Stop, said Red.

Why?

I don’t like the way you’re shaking your arms. It feels ridiculous. And what is that strange sensation? I don’t like it either.

I can’t help it. I’ve always hated doing nothing, especially when it’s my own ass on the line. How can you expect me to just sit around when we could be dead in an hour or two?

I understand our position boy, and I don’t like it any more than you do. But look at where we are. There’s nothing we can do from here. All we can do is wait to see what they decide. We have no power here.

Keith rolled his eyes. Of course, can’t forget you’re just another passive and “peaceable” soul. But thinking that way is a luxury I haven’t had since I was ten. Shiro always told me the thing the souls feared about us most is that we never stop. We never roll over and die like they want us to. No matter where you are, how tight of a spot you’re in, there’s always a way out, even if it’s just with your own two fists.

Red contemplated this for a moment. I suppose I can see how you’d think of that as noble.

Ugh, you’re insufferable.

I just gave you my opinion!

Keith was starting to feel his muscles tense, so he opted to ignore Red and instead focused on his memories with Shiro. After the invasion they’d moved around a lot, trying to avoid anyone tracking them down. After their first year on their own, Shiro had begun teaching Keith how to defend himself. He’d gone over weak spots on the body, how to use his own weight to put more power behind his punches, and he gave Keith movements and techniques to practice on nights when he went looking for food.

Once he started learning, he’d taken to it completely. At that time he felt invincible, like he could take on anyone and anything that came his way. He’d squeezed all of Shiro’s cursory knowledge of fighting and eventually resorted to these movements when he felt scared or overwhelmed. 

He took up a basic stance and started going through a series of jabs and hooks. It felt good to move like this again. His shoulders were a little stiff but they adjusted within a few minutes. Red was surprisingly quiet during this time. 

Left, left, right. Jab, jab, hook. An uppercut or two between series. 

He settled into a rhythm. A series of punches and maybe a kick or two. Now that he’d started he didn’t want to stop. It was strange, how he almost felt like this was the first time he was really moving and experiencing his own body and strength. Maybe it was the memory loss, but regardless, he liked the feeling of power and comfort that came from these familiar movements. 

He moved around his little cell, building up energy and confidence, and soon he was flying all over the place. He wasn’t even sure he was really following any form anymore, he was too caught up in the way his muscles pulled and tightened, and how his lungs expanded until he could swear they would burst, and he just felt so real and alive in a way he hadn’t felt since she’d arrived. Was this what it felt like to be human?

“What?”

What?

Just as he was landing from a particularly enthusiastic jump, his eyes almost popped out of their sockets and he ended up sprawled out on the stone floor. His chest heaved and he took deep breaths to try to keep his head from spinning.

Red… what the hell just happened?

She didn’t answer, but Keith was also afraid of what her answer might be.

He was saved from the agony of silence, however, by the sound of footsteps approaching. 

The verdict.

Keith jumped up and dusted himself off just as Allura and Shiro came into view.

“I trust you haven’t gotten up to much trouble,” Allura said by way of greeting.

Depends how you’d define trouble, Keith thought to himself.

She narrowed her eyes at him, but he didn’t dare break eye contact to gauge Shiro’s expression. He could feel the itch starting to creep back under his skin. It prickled in his chest, but he didn’t move an inch as Allura continued to stare him down. What she was looking for, he didn’t know. He just hoped she found something good. After a few beats she sighed and straightened her shoulders.

“It has been decided that you will be allowed to live.”

Keith and Red each heaved their own sigh of relief.

“However, I can’t guarantee you that it will stay that way.”

Keith’s blood went cold. “What do you mean?”

“Your mercy is provisional. I’m willing to give you until our wheat can be harvested, about three months, to try and prove that you are in fact the Keith we know.”

That seems awfully generous, Red mused. 

“And how do I do that?”

“By answering my question,” said Allura. “Who is the defender of the universe?”

His shoulders began to prickle. “And if I can’t?”

“Then I’m afraid I will have to kill you.”

Keith stayed quiet.

“However, I can’t have you stay here the whole time. There are plenty of things that need to be done, and if you’re going to be eating our food and sleeping under our roof, you may as well pull your weight. But if you do anything that gives me reason to believe you intend to harm us, I will not hesitate to strike you down.” She gave a resolute pat to the broadsword strapped to her hip, and walked away.

As soon as her footsteps faded away, Shiro turned to Keith beaming. He couldn’t help a relieved laugh at his brother’s face.

“Let’s get you out of there,” Shiro said as he retrieved the ladder and put it in the pit. As soon as Keith was out of the hole Shiro gathered him in a tight embrace. A familiar warmth spread through Keith, and he fought back a few tears as he returned the gesture fiercely.

“I missed you,” Keith mumbled. 

Shiro let out a heavy sigh. “Missed you too, kiddo.” He pulled back and smiled at him. “But you’re here. By some miracle, you’re here.”

Keith smiled back, then cleared his throat. “How bad was it?”

“Well, the whole event managed to stay civil,” said Shiro. “I have to be honest with you, I was surprised at how many people were against letting you live. I thought they’d be more open minded, considering the circumstances that brought us here.”

“But you didn’t bring a soul with you.”

Shiro nodded. “I know. It just surprised me, is all. But hey, you’re still standing.”

Keith nodded, a small smile making its way back to his lips. They were still alive. Even if their days were numbered, he allowed himself to revel in the fact that they were here, and he was reunited with his brother, and he was home. 

“Come on,” Shiro said, throwing an arm over Keith’s shoulder. “The day’s still young and Allura’s eager to get you out there. She says the sooner people get used to having you around, the sooner she can relax. She hates having people breathing down her neck, and with all this excitement about your arrival, she can’t wait for you to join the party.”