Work Text:
The bones in his face pulsed and cried beneath the force of Cas's fists. He could do nothing to protect himself. His own fists were no match and his words only held power for so long against the fingers of Rowena's magic rapidly gripping deeper into Cas's mind. Somehow she had managed to reach even farther within him than Naomi had, finding that a place that no one can save. Part of Dean finds it in himself to resent her for that, even as he faces imminent death at the hands of his best friend.
"Desiste!" The word rung through his ears in muffled waves, but Cas stopped punishing him and Dean could finally look up at the angel.
His body had stilled, and he looked about himself in confusion, like the lost dog that he was, receiving conflicting orders from his master. Kill. Cease. Dean feared his brain may fry from the conflict alone. In the distance, Sam ordered Rowena to finish the process, but Dean only looked toward her for a moment before turning his attention back to Cas. Watching Castiel was too important, as if each angle he could glimpse of the angel's face may be the last he sees with life glimmering inside it.
"Adlevo onus tuum."
Castiel's body grew rigid beside him before his limbs began convulsing with unnatural rhythm. Pained groans and whimpers erupted from his mouth as though he were being strangled. Cement thudded beneath bone as Dean watched him lose control and drop to his knees before collapsing sideways, all the while continuing to emit those horrible groans.
"Cas?" Dean asked in horror as the angel's body began seizing in earnest, choking sounds gurgling from his throat. He leaned forward and grabbed for the angel's arm, hoping to steady him through the tremors, but they were too strong. Dean must simply hold on and hope Cas could survive the spell's reversal. It seemed to take millennia, time dragging through space like a glacier, wearing away his defenses like the walls of a fjord as he clung to Castiel's lapel with clenched fingers. Abruptly, Castiel's shaking ceased and he lay still and quiet.
"Cas?" When he reached beneath his friend's cheek, his skin was hot, but his head hung limp when Dean lifted it in his palm. He felt his own body begin trembling as fear spiked within him that his worst fear may have been realized. Cas wasn't moving. "Cas? Hey."
Cas didn't move. Nothing in his face showed any indication he could hear Dean or would wake. His chest and throat swelled and quaked with unformed tears and remorse. Unbidden he leaned closer into the angel's space, shaking his head in a last attempt to rouse him. "Hey, hey, hey." His voice was barely audible, so weak and afraid no one was inside to hear it at all.
When Castiel opened his eyes, they were no longer crazed and red. Only pure blue fixated on him when they opened, and Dean just watched in shock for a moment, swimming in the oceanic color. He was alive and he was, seemingly, himself once more. His lips moved as if he wished to speak, but he didn't seem able to, so Dean reached behind his shoulder and heaved him up to sitting.
"Come on. Come on. Yeah."
Cas sat limply upon the cement floor across from him, barely holding his head upright without the support of Dean's hand cradled against his neck. They didn't look away from one another, Dean's frantically relieved eyes assessing Cas's exhaustedly grateful ones. He was looking at Dean with a desperate fondness he'd not seen before and it wrapped him in warmth he'd thought he might not feel again. It had been months since they had seen one another through their own eyes, unencumbered by the darkness of curses and black magic. The moment Dean was free, Cas had been taken from him, but now they were here and Dean felt the thrum of gratitude and relief swell within him.
"Hey." He said softly, cradling Cas's face between both his large hands. The angel was still looking as though he was an inch from death, so Dean squeezed the tight muscles behind his head and clapped him on the shoulder. The action seemed to break Cas further from his stupor and he blinked rapidly a few times before fixing Dean with a firmer gaze. Eyes locked, he pressed his cheek into Dean's palm and their was no chance it was accidental.
"Thought I lost you again." He whispered, wanting to keep his words only for Cas's ears. He sank down further into himself, letting his knees and feet press into the ground as they bore his weight. Cas wasn't pulling away from him, and he no longer wanted to keep pulling away from Cas. His other hand drifted down from Cas's shoulders to the lapel of his coat where he clung to the fabric tightly. "Don't think I could've handled that."
Cas's eyes wandered over his face searchingly, before he seemed to give into the pull of Dean's hands on his neck and coat and let himself fall into his chest. The angle was awkward, but Dean looked down fondly as Cas pressed his cheek into his chest. He smoothed his thumb through the hair behind his ear when Cas finally spoke. His voice was rough and dry, but sure.
"I tried very hard. To stay myself. For you."
Dean's heart rate spiked and he felt it pulse against his ribs. Cas felt it, too, and Dean saw the tiny smile that lifted the corner of his lips that told him so.
"You did great, Cas. Now we're gonna go home, and I'm gonna take care of you."
On impulse he leaned forward and kissed the top of Cas's head. His hair was matted and sweaty, but Cas was there in his arms and he didn't want to let go. The angel released a small contented hum and he wanted to hear that sound everyday. Dean wasn’t certain what Sammy might see, but he couldn't let himself care about that anymore. Cas was coming home with him, the darkness was upon them, and such a thing seemed trivial at this point.
Cas turned his head slightly and pressed a returning kiss to the center of Dean's chest over his sternum. It was a light thing, barely a graze of lips on fabric, but it set his heart racing and chased a lopsided grin onto his mouth. The angel tipped his head up so that he could look more directly at Dean. A tiny, private smile warmed his tired features.
Rowena used the moment to escape, but Dean found that he couldn't be bothered much to care. She'd given him back what he'd needed.