Chapter Text
“So that’s it, then?”
Hera stared up at Kanan, her lekku stiff and her eyes full of pain. He looked into them, and saw a terrible mixture of betrayal and sadness, with an attempt at anger to mask it. She was so obviously hurting.
And it was all his fault.
“Hera… I’m sorry.”
“You’re just going to leave,” she said. Her voice made him want to take it back. It was heartbroken. He would have preferred anger over this,
“I’m not the right person for-” he stopped himself from saying what he meant. “For this.”
After a brief moment, Hera sighed. “Are you sure?”
Kanan nodded, guilt washing over him, and she swallowed and looked down. When she looked back up at him, her face was impassive.
“Okay. Where should I drop you off?”
“Wherever you stop for fuel next.”
Hera pressed her lips together, and gave a small bob of her head.
“Alright. Go pack your things, we’ll probably be stopping in a few hours.”
Kanan watched her turn around, and walk towards the cockpit. He wouldn’t see her again until just as he left, when he passed her while she was rigging the fuel line up. He expected her to beg him to stay- wanted her to, actually.
But all he got was a small wave, and the hint of a forced, sad smile.
“Kanan?”
Kanan yawned, and pushed a couple of loose strands of hair from his face, tucking them behind his ear.
He heard the boy repeat himself, and then Kanan straightened up, rolling his shoulder.
“Mmhmm?”
“We’re out of jogans.”
Kanan frowned. “Are you sure? I thought I just bought some.”
He turned to the boy, an eyebrow raised, and he saw his blue eyes look down sheepishly. Kanan couldn’t hide the his playful smile.
“Ezra.”
“I got really hungry.”
Kanan laughed, and reached over to ruffle Ezra’s dark hair.
“We’ll get some. Get dressed, kid.”
Ezra grinned at him, and Kanan smiled back before standing up. Ezra followed him up, and ran a hand over the back of his neck.
“Thanks, Kanan.”
Kanan pulled him into a brief, sideways hug.
“Anytime.”
Kanan threw his shirt on, and stepped outside of the room at the top of the tower that he and Ezra called their home, leaning on the railing and looking across the horizon of Lothal. He’d gotten to Lothal just under 2 years ago, after planet hopping once again for a long time. He befriended Ezra when he was thirteen, after getting him out of a tough spot with some stormtroopers, and after a while they became close, and Ezra offered to let him live with him after Kanan couldn’t find a place.
Kanan couldn’t believe how attached he’d gotten to Ezra. Kanan still remembered how closed off Ezra had been when they first met, and now they were so close. He felt an obligation to him, like he had a duty to protect him. Almost like a father. There was something else there too… like the Force had drawn him to Ezra that day he’d pulled him away from those stormtroopers. Not that he connected to the Force much anymore- it was too risky. He had to protect Ezra, had to stay with him. He hadn’t stayed this long… well, anywhere. He’d been living on Lothal even longer than he’d been with Hera.
Kanan winced at the thought of Hera. He missed her. He told himself he wouldn’t, that he’d eventually get over her like he’d gotten over every other person he’d been with. But he still hadn’t, all these years later. He thought about her more than he’d be willing to admit. He wondered how she’d feel if she knew what he’d done- would she be disappointed that he went back to his old life for so long? Would she be proud of how he’d changed, how he took care of Ezra?
Would she even care?
He was lost in his thoughts when Ezra stepped next to him, looking up at him earnestly.
“Kanan?”
“Yes?”
“Ready to go?”
Kanan nodded, and followed Ezra down the tower, to the city. As they made their way, Kanan couldn’t help but feel a twinge of... something. Whether it was just hunger or tiredness or the Force, he was sure he’d find out soon enough.
Kanan slid the credits across the counter of the vendor’s stand, who counted them before putting some jogans in a bag and handing them to him. Kanan smiled and thanked him before taking the bag. Ezra reached in before Kanan could even step back, taking one and biting into it. Kanan laughed.
“Where’s your restraint?”
Ezra shrugged and took another bite, while Kanan shook his head, still chuckling. He and Ezra walked down the street of Lothal’s Capital City, Ezra chomping down the jogan fruit on the way. Kanan watched Ezra wipe his mouth with the back of his sleeve before reaching towards the bag, which Kanan sharply pulled out of his reach.
“You know there’s other foods too, kid.”
“Your point?”
“You should try them sometime.”
Ezra folded his arms, and Kanan smiled.
“We’ll go out to eat somewhere tonight. I can scrounge up the credits.”
Ezra’s eyes brightened, and Kanan chuckled. “But,” he added, “only if you don’t eat any more jogans until then.”
“Okay!”
Kanan started to say something else, when he heard blaster fire from down the street. His eyes widened, and he instinctively stepped in front of Ezra, and looked down the street to see two figures rounding a corner and running down the street, being chased by a group of stormtroopers, who were firing at them. The figures, a small one in colorful Mandalorian armor and a large purple alien- Kanan wanted to say it was a Lasat but it was at a distance and he’d never met one in person before, so he couldn’t be sure- were occasionally firing back at the stormtroopers, though mostly just running. As they got closer, Kanan swore he heard laughter coming from the Lasat, and he grabbed Ezra’s arm, pulling him through an alley, and around the side of the building.
And, as Kanan’s luck would permit, that’s where the pair being chased slid through, and the maybe-Lasat even found himself falling over from the turn, sliding and landing at Kanan and Ezra’s feet. The Mandalorian girl stopped and turned around to look at him, though Kanan couldn’t tell what she was feeling through her helmet.
Kanan watched Ezra’s initially startled face change to a familiar one, the confident one that he got before going in to swipe something. He knelt down and offered his hand to the alien, (Kanan had decided he was definitely a Lasat) who raised his brows and got himself up. Ezra took his hand back, but still kept eye contact.
“Are you okay?”
The Lasat shrugged and nodded, before looking to the Mandalorian girl. “You think they saw us?”
As if on cue, a blaster bolt flew in between the Lasat and Ezra, and both the Lasat and the Mandalorian took off running. More blaster bolts almost hit both Kanan and Ezra, and it took Kanan a moment to realize the troopers were firing at them too.
This day was going great.
It was Ezra who took Kanan’s hand and pulled him along, following the Lasat and the Mandalorian. Kanan ran with him, but furrowed his brows as they ran.
“I hope you have a plan!”
“I do!”
“Is it a good one?”
“Those two must be going somewhere! We follow them, and they can take us to… wherever they’re going!”
Kanan looked at him incredulously as they rounded a corner, still following the Lasat and the Mandalorian.
“That’s your plan?”
“Well, what’s yours?”
Kanan shook his head, muttering under his breath as they ran, ducking when blaster bolts flew over their shoulders.
It felt like forever when a ship swooped down (a VCX-100, a painful reminder for Kanan), it’s ramp open and within jumping distance. The Lasat jumped up, and then helped the Mandalorian steady herself when she got up there. They both turned around to see Kanan and Ezra running at them.
Ezra waved his arms as he ran, and Kanan worried for a second he’d get shot through the hand.
“HEY!” Ezra shouted. “LET US UP!”
Kanan ducked when a blaster bolt flew over his head, and Ezra looked alarmed for a moment before looking back up to the ship.
“PLEASE!”
The Lasat and Mandalorian shared a brief exchange that Kanan couldn’t hear, before evidently deciding to let them up, as they both outstretched their hands. Kanan pointed to Ezra, directing him to go first, and he listened, jumping in a way that… Kanan felt seemed off. But he couldn’t worry about that now, he just followed Ezra up, jumping himself. The Lasat caught him a little, helping him steady himself. Kanan looked up, and nodded.
“Thanks.”
“Anytime.”
They all jogged up the ramp, and the Lasat closed it behind them once they were all up and in the cargo bay. Kanan looked around. The paint job inside looked… familiar. But maybe all VCX-100s looked like that on the inside? He hadn’t exactly been inside many.
He was pulled out of his thoughts by the gruff voice of the Lasat. “The name’s Zeb. Over there,” he pointed to the Mandalorian girl, who had taken off her helmet to reveal blue and orange hair. “That’s Sabine.”
Sabine nodded, and Ezra stepped forward, putting a hand on his chest to introduce himself.
“Well, my name is Ezra, and this is my… dad, his name is-”
He was cut off by a sharp gasp from above, and everyone looked up to the balcony over the cargo bay. Kanan felt his heart clench, and his face heat up.
Hera Syndulla’s hands gripped the railing of the balcony, and her eyes were fixed firmly on Kanan.
So the paint job was familiar.