Chapter Text
Jisung didn’t notice how attached he had gotten to his pacifier until they went on an overseas trip and, at night, Jisung couldn’t find it. He was sure he had put it in his bag when he packed, but he couldn’t find it. He had already taken everything from his bag and put it back twice, and yet, his pacifier was nowhere to be seen. And he was starting to panic, because it wasn’t like they could just go out and buy a pacifier, and he… he noticed he wouldn’t be able to sleep unless he had his pacifier.
With a frustrated sigh he sat down next to his bag, pulling his knees against his chest and resting his elbows and face in them. He could feel frustrated tears prickling on his eyes, and he didn’t want to cry over something so stupid, but he was tired and he wanted to sleep, but he couldn’t if he didn’t have that damned thing.
He tried to calm down. Changbin would soon be out of the bathroom and Jisung didn’t want the older to see him crying. Maybe he could do this. It was only one night. Maybe he could go one night without it. He should be able to; he was eighteen, after all. Eighteen year olds weren’t supposed to need pacifiers to sleep. ‘They aren’t supposed to have pacifiers at all’ his brain supplied, but he ignored it. He was going to do this. He could do it.
Jisung couldn’t do it. Maybe in a less stressful situation he would have been able to sleep without his pacifier, but not when they had a big performance on the next day. Unfortunately, he only noticed that an hour after him and Changbin had gone to bed, and there was nothing he could do now. He wouldn’t wake Changbin up just because he couldn’t sleep, and he didn’t have the courage to go looking for Chan and Minho to tell them about his predicament. As it was, he stayed in his bed, eyes closed, hoping that if he stayed still for long enough he would be able to fall asleep.
Needless to say, it didn’t work. After about fifteen minutes he started tossing and turning, whining out of frustration, because they had an important schedule on the next day and he couldn’t freaking sleep. He didn’t even notice how loud he was being until the lights on the room were turned on. He stilled.
“Sungie?” Came Changbin’s sleepy voice. And that was too much for Jisung. He broke down crying. A second later Changbin was by his side, eyes wide and worried. “Hey, hey, what happened? Are you ok? Are you hurt? Are you sick?”
Jisung shook his head and reached for Changbin. The boy seemed to understand, letting Jisung cling to him and sitting down so he could pull the younger to sit on his lap.
“C-channie hyung.”
Jisung managed to cry out. Usually he would be embarrassed about asking for Chan like that, but he was too far gone to care at the moment.
“Channie hyung? You want me to call him?” Jisung nodded. Changbin moved to get the younger’s phone, then quickly sent Chan a message, hoping the older would see it. “Where’s your paci, Sung?”
He asked, knowing that the pacifier would calm Jisung down. Instead, however, as soon as he asked Jisung started crying harder, and an image of the boy crouching next to his bag earlier on the day, looking lost and frustrated came to Changbin’s mind. He cursed internally. Jisung had probably forgotten his pacifier at the dorm.
Not even five minutes later there was a knock on their door, and Changbin smiled, despite the situation. Of course Chan had seen his message. Of course he had come over without even asking what the problem was. When it came to Jisung, Chan was more protective than a mother bear.
“Don’t go.”
Cried Jisung, as Changbin tried to get up. The older kissed his forehead.
“I’ll just open the door for Channie hyung.”
He explained. Jisung shook his head and got up, not letting go of Changbin. The older pulled him along.
As soon as the door opened, Jisung was away from Changbin, clinging to Chan. Chan seemed a bit panicked, but as soon as Jisung was in his arms and he concluded that there was no immediate danger to the boy he calmed down. Then he closed the door and pulled Jisung closer.
“Sungie, calm down. It’s ok, hyung is here.”
He said. Jisung immediately relaxed a bit. It always surprised Changbin how fast the others calmed down when Chan was around. Not because of the other’s words or actions. Just Chan’s presence was enough. Changbin figured it made sense. He, too, felt safe when Chan was around.
“S-sorry, hyung.”
Mumbled Jisung, after a while, trying to dry his tears. Chan ran a hand through his hair.
“You don’t need to apologize, it’s ok. Now can you tell me what happened?”
He asked, pulling Jisung to sit down on the bed.
The younger immediately found his place on Chan’s lap and settled there, lying against the older.
“Forgot my p-paci.”
He mumbled, and Changbin gave himself a mental pat in the back. Chan frowned.
“Are you sure? Did you look through your bag?”
He asked. Jisung nodded, eyes watering again. He angrily dried them, and it was obvious how frustrated the situation was making him. Chan hugged him tighter.
“Hey, it’s ok. We’ll be back tomorrow.”
He said. Jisung sighed.
“But I can’t sleep, hyung.”
He said, sadly. It broke Changbin’s heart. He could see Chan felt bad too.
“Have you tried sucking on your thumb?”
Chan suggested, and Changbin was amazed at how naturally the leader suggested that. Jisung blushed.
“Hyung…”
He whined.
“What? It’s almost the same, isn’t it?”
Jisung looked down.
“It is, but…”
Chan squeezed his hand.
“C’mon, hyung will be right here with you.”
He said, and gestured for Changbin to turn off the lights. It was a smart move, not giving Jisung time to mull over the idea. Changbin obeyed the leader, and soon the room was illuminated only by his nightlight.
Chan knew Jisung wouldn’t do it on his own. The boy had gotten used to his pacifier, but if he stopped to think about it, he was still a bit embarrassed about the item. The idea of sucking on his thumb was probably embarrassing for him. So Chan changed his approach.
He pulled Jisung against his chest, the boy’s back pressed against his front. Then he started caressing Jisung’s hair.
“Close your eyes.”
He instructed. Jisung obeyed. Soon, Chan noticed him getting sleepy. Then he nudged Jisung’s mouth with his thumb, and he wasn’t surprised when the boy opened his mouth and let Chan slip his thumb inside.
Chan was pretty sure he was supposed to be either turned on or disgusted. His friend was sucking on his thumb after all. But he felt neither. Instead, he was happy at the way Jisung trusted him enough to allow him to do that, and relieved as he noticed the boy was on his way to falling asleep a few moments later. He smiled, recalling the conversation he had had with Minho a few weeks earlier. ‘Have you noticed the way Jisung treats you?’ Minho had said. ‘That kid listens to you like a little kid to its parents.’
It was true, Chan had noticed. Jisung did seem to enjoy Chan taking care of him as much as Chan enjoyed taking care of him. And he clearly trusted Chan a lot. It made Chan feel warm and giddy, and he wondered if one day he would have the courage to talk to Jisung about this openly.
He decided not to worry about that at the moment. Jisung was asleep by his side, contentedly sucking on his thumb, and Chan felt at peace. He pulled the boy closer and closed his eyes. Yeah, he could worry about those things later.
Jisung woke up feeling rested and warm. He snuggled closer to Chan, who was hugging him loosely, and sighed, comfortable. Then he opened his eyes, noticing he wasn’t sucking on his thumb, and groaned when he noticed the situation.
He embarrassedly let go of Chan’s thumb, trying to clean it as well as he could without waking the other boy up. He hoped Changbin was still asleep and hadn’t witnessed that scene. And then Chan moved behind him and Jisung hid his face in the pillow, letting go of the boy’s hand as he noticed Chan was awake.
“Hum, morning, Sung.”
“I’m sorry.”
Jisung mumbled softly. Chan sighed and pulled him out of his hiding place, making Jisung turn around and rest his head on Chan’s chest.
“Don’t apologize.”
He said. Jisung sighed.
“I was sucking on your thumb, hyung. That must be disgusting for you.”
Chan rolled his eyes.
“If it was disgusting I wouldn’t have let you do that, Sung.”
Jisung pouted.
“But… but it…”
Chan chuckled, knowing Jisung was making an effort to find a reason to apologize.
“Did you sleep well?”
He asked. Jisung huffed.
“Yes, hyung.”
He answered. Chan ruffled the boy’s hair.
“Then everything is perfect. Don’t worry about it, ok?”
Jisung sighed, but nodded.
“Ok, hyung.”
Chan smiled and kissed Jisung’s forehead.
“Good. Now let’s go. We have to shower and get ready for breakfast.”
Jisung nodded and let himself be pulled up. He smiled softly to himself. Maybe his and Chan’s relationship was a bit weird, but Jisung wouldn’t trade it for the world.