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Nagisa sits at the side of the swimming pool, their feet dangling into the water, and stares up at the sky. Their wet hair sticks to their head and their swimsuit is hidden by the towel wrapped around their shoulders; they may be alone, but the self-consciousness will not leave Nagisa be.
They sigh, eyes stinging, and Nagisa wills themself not to cry. They’ve done more than enough crying today.
The rest of the club should be here soon, and Nagisa doesn’t want them to know they’ve been crying. So they drop their towel and slip into the pool, pulling their goggles over their eyes. Their swimsuit hugs their body even closer now wet, and Nagisa groans; normally their full-body swimsuit makes them comfortable, but not today. Not today.
Nagisa ducks their head under the water and starts to swim, using breaststroke as they swim lengths of the pool. After six lengths, voices signal the arrival of someone else, and Nagisa raises their head. They know it will just be Rei, Makoto, Haru or Gou, but their heart races. What if it’s…?
“Hey, Nagisa!” Gou says, wandering over to the swimming pool and waving.
Rei follows her, already wearing his swimsuit, and smiles. “Hello, Nagisa.”
“Hi, guys,” they say, propping their elbows against the poolside and looking up at their friends.
“You’re here early,” Gou says.
“Yeah, I got out of math class early,” says Nagisa, who is in a different class to Gou and Rei (because those two are smarter than them). “So I thought I’d come here.”
Rei puts his goggles on and hops into the pool, whilst Gou sits down at the side of the pool. Both of them stare at Nagisa, and they start swimming again. These two don’t know, do they? They can’t know.
Nagisa swims and swims, until their muscles ache and their lungs burn and they know they need to rest. But they keep going, because if they stop Rei and Gou might try to talk to them, and then they might reveal they know what’s been going on and Nagisa doesn’t want to talk about that and…
They mess up the timings of their next stroke, and try to inhale when their mouth is still under the water. Nagisa gags and stands up, choking up the water they just inhaled.
“Are you okay?” Makoto says, swimming over. When did he arrive?
Nagisa nods, finally managing to stop coughing, and sighs. “Yeah. I just breathed at the wrong time.”
Makoto frowns, studying them. “Is that all?”
They force a smile, nodding again. “Yeah, I’m fine. Really.”
“Are you, though?”
Nagisa jumps, spinning around to find Haru stood behind them. “H-Haru?”
“Are you really okay?” Haru says, tilting his head slightly.
“Yeah, of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”
Haru and Makoto look at each other, two best friends silently and subtly communicating in a way Nagisa has never understood.
“No, really, nothing’s wrong,” Nagisa says, but their eyes sting and their voice wobbles and there’s a lump in their throat and oh crap they’re going to cry and…
Even though they tried so hard to hide it, Nagisa breaks down sobbing. They cover their face with their hands, shoulders heaving with sobs.
“Nagisa!”
“Please don’t cry.”
Arms wrap around them, and Makoto pulls Nagisa into a hug. Haru rubs their back, and splashing indicates the arrival of Rei.
“Nagisa?” he says. “What’s going on?”
“Oh no, please don’t cry,” Gou says from the poolside.
But they can’t stop, all of the pent-up anger and fear and sadness forcing the tears to keep flowing. But at least crying kind of makes them feel a bit better.
When the tears finally end, Nagisa hops up to sit on the side of the pool, and rubs their face with their towel. “Sorry.”
“Don’t talk like that,” Gou says, crouching beside them.
“I knew something was wrong,” Rei says.
Their head snaps up, red eyes wide. “What?”
“We heard someone talking about you,” Gou says. “They said they thought you were crying. But, you know, we didn’t think they meant it. But… obviously, it was true.”
“Please, you can tell us what’s wrong,” Rei says.
Nagisa shifts to hug their knees to their chest, sighing. All four of them stare at them, and, as embarrassing as this is, it’s so nice to know they care.
Still, there’s no hiding it now.
They inhale slowly, closing their eyes. “I’m being bullied.”
“Shit,” Haru mutters. Nagisa has never heard them swear before.
“What? Why?” Rei cries, eyes wide.
“Who did this?” Makoto says, looking close to tears.
Gou gasps. “Nagisa, I’m so sorry.”
They sigh, tensing up. “Uh… you know how I have to use the boys’ bathrooms?”
The others nod. Despite being genderfluid, Nagisa has to use the bathroom that matches the gender they were assigned at birth; the boys’ bathroom and locker room is where they have to go in school.
“Well, uh, one of the boys has been… picking on me every time I go in there for a while now,” Nagisa says, sighing.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Haru says.
They shrug. “I guess I… didn’t want to worry you.”
Gou sighs, her eyes sparkling with tears. “What sort of stuff does he say?”
“Uh… I got called pathetic and a snowflake and lots of swearwords and he’s a lot taller than me so I just feel so scared… but today, he, he called me a tranny,” Nagisa whispers, more tears spilling down their face.
Rei slams his hand against the surface of the water, sending droplets flying everywhere. “How dare he?!”
Makoto bows his head, whilst Gou starts crying too, sobbing into Nagisa’s shoulder.
And Haru… “We need to stop this. Should we go to the teachers?”
“It w-won’t stop,” Nagisa mumbles.
“They are right,” Rei says, rubbing his now red palm. “I was bullied in junior high. Telling the staff tends to make it worse.”
“This isn’t fair,” Gou whines. “Why Nagisa?”
“Well, we need to do something,” Haru says. “Is there a specific time this tends to happen?”
“Um, a-about lunchtime, I think,” Nagisa mumbles. “Why?”
Makoto glances at Haru, and clearly understands what Haru is thinking. “Haru thinks we should go with you and confront this guy when he starts bullying you again.”
Nagisa looks up, tears blurring their vision, and stares at their friends. “Really?”
And when they all nod, a tearful smile crosses their face.
---
The following day, Nagisa wanders into the bathroom with their arms folded across their chest. Rei, Haru and Makoto are already inside the boys’ room, hiding in a stall ready to jump out. They still can’t belive that their friends are prepared to take on a bully for them, but it helps the anxiety fade away.
Although, when Nagisa enters the room and finds their bully stood by the basins, the anxiety comes back with force. The boy, a third year who towers over Nagisa, spots them and a horrible grin breaks out across his face.
“Hey, it’s tranny boy!” he says, stalking over.
His friends laugh and Nagisa cowers, wanting to correct him but just too scared. They’re so weak. Why can’t they stand up for themself? Why are they so damn weak?
“P-Please don’t call me that,” they whisper.
“But it’s true,” the boy says, laughing again. “You’re a boy who thinks he’s some kind of half-and-half tranny weirdo. You’re fucking retarded if you really think you’re not a boy.”
He steps closer and Nagisa flinches; he has never hit them, but they never know if today might be the day. But thankfully, they don’t have to deal with any of that. Because…
“Leave them alone!”
The door to the stall swings open, and Rei, Makoto and Haru burst out of it.
“What the fuck?” the boy says, stumbling backwards.
“Leave Nagisa alone, you bastard,” Haru says, glaring at him. “You’ve got no right to treat my friend this way.”
“And you’re such a coward,” Rei says, adjusting his glasses as Nagisa stumbles to hide behind him. “Only cowards bull people.”
“Just leave them alone,” Makoto says.
“And who are you to stop me, asshole?”
“Well, you might not listen to me,” Haru says. “But we’re all friends with a certain Matsuoka Rin, and I don’t think he’d be too happy to hear about this.”
To Nagisa’s amazement, the boy steps backwards again. His eyes widen, clearly recognising the name of their friend, a boy with a highly protective nature and a bit of a temper. It hadn’t even occurred to Nagisa, but this Rin would knock this guy’s head from his shoulders if he learned Nagisa is being bullied.
The boy sighs, but… he doesn’t argue. “Fine! Whatever. I don’t give a shit.”
And he doesn’t apologise, but Nagisa doesn’t care; they wouldn’t accept his apology anyway.
A bit dazed, Nagisa doesn’t pay attention to their surroundings. They’re on the roof when they snap out of it, surrounded by their friends.
“Guys… thank you,” Nagisa says, smiling. “Thank you so much.”
And the four of them smile and Gou hugs them, and Nagisa has never been so grateful to have them all.