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Not good enough

Summary:

Deep in his heart, Akaashi has always known he is not good enough.

Notes:

Day 6: Insecurities.

Work Text:

Akaashi was lying on his futon, staring at the ceiling. Everyone was sleeping all around him, being tired because of the match against Karasuno on the last day of the camp. He closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep, but a thought kept him awake. The thought of how talented of a setter Kageyama really was.

Not just him, but Oikawa too. They were people being born with natural talent which he could not reach, no matter how hard he would try. His team was strong on a national level, but what would happen with them after the graduation of the third years? Would they be able to keep up or would they disappear within a heartbeat?

He knew he should not have worried about these kinds of things, but concentrate on the things right in front of him – just like Bokuto-san would say. Akaashi turned his head to the right and found himself face to face with curious yellow eyes examining him. He had to press his hands to his mouth to silent his gasp.

”You did not sleep, so I decided to stay up too,” Bokuto said, leaning even closer. Akaashi felt his eyebrows furrowing. How did Bokuto-san know that? He was lying in total silence, for gods’ sake! ”Your body was too stiff for someone who was sleeping.”

”I really appreciate you concern, Bokuto-san, but you have nothing to worry about,” Akaashi whispered, keeping his voice low.

”Akaashi,” Bokuto said his name on the voice Akaashi knew he only used when he was starting to get pissed off because of something. The strange thing was, he had never used it when it came to him ever before. ”Lying is a bad thing!”

Akaashi narrowed his eyes. He did not want to hear that from Bokuto-san out of all people. He was the most troublesome one he had ever known. He pressed his lips in a line and turned to his other side to avoid the other boys’ glance.

”What can I help you with?!” He hissed at Bokuto angrier than he intended when the other turned him back by his shoulder.

”I want to get answers, Akaashi!” Bokuto hissed back, just as angry. He was really worried about Akaashi – though he knew he did not show it in the right way by yelling at him.

Akaashi took a deep breath to restrain his anger. He knew Bokuto would not stop bugging him, not until he would tell him what was inside his head that made him feel like this.

”I am worried!” He said out loud the feeling that had been eating him up since the start of the school year. ”I am worried what would happen with the team after your graduation!”

”Ak-” Bokuto started with wide eyes, but Akaashi became so riled up that he could not stay silent to let him speak.

”Right now, we are a powerhouse team, but it is mostly because of you, Bokuto-san. However, new prodigies are popping up day by day and I know I would not be able to keep up with them… I am not good enough to do that.”

”Bakashi!” Akaashi heard, but did not have time to prepare for the attack.

Akaashi let out a squeak when a pillow was smacked in his face. When he lifted it up, he saw a really frustrated Bokuto, staring down at him with narrowed eyes. Akaashi blinked up at him.

”Bokuto-san?” He asked on a tiny voice with his heart beating twice as fast as normally.

”What if you are not some kind of super prodigy, huh?!” Bokuto asked too loud for Akaashi’s liking. ”You are the only one who can put up with my mood swings and you are the reason I can spike the way I do!” Akaashi felt the air stuck in his lungs. ”This team would be nothing without you! Hell, I would be nothing without you!”

With that, Bokuto leaned down and pressed his lips to his surprised kouhai’s. Akaashi let out a yelp into the kiss, but threw his arms around the older boys’ neck, pulling him closer eventually. He felt Bokuto smiling and he rolled his eyes. Bokuto was too full of himself – and Akaashi decided that he would put him back to his place as soon as the sun would rise.