Work Text:
Sometimes Thomas manifests the Sides to do errands for him because he's too busy doing other things. Today, Patton and Virgil are buying groceries, Roman is helping Thomas and Joan plan another video, and Logan is looking up facts the three ask him to search up.
...Which leaves Deceit all alone in the Mindscape. While he can tell the truth while manifested, he still has scales, which causes people to be curious and ask questions he and none of the other Sides want to answer. Now, Deceit doesn't mind being alone in the Mindscape. He quite enjoys it, actually. He doesn't have to talk to anyone and that thrills him. He can do anything without having one of the other four Sides stop him or ask him what he's doing.
Not that the reptilian Side does much with this freedom. He usually lies around and watches TV or stays up in his room where it's warm. But today he is doing something different.
The Side's yellow door is propped open and he's sitting just inside his room. "Come on," he says. "I know you need the exercise. Get moving. You've wanted out for days." When nothing happens, he stands up and picks something up. "If you don't move in five minutes, I'm closing the door." Deceit walks out of his room and down the stairs, a snake curled around his arm and another draped around his shoulders. He flips on the couch and turns on the TV, the curtains over Patton's door open, the pseudo-sun of the Mindscape shining on the couch. He starts the movie he had put in the DVD player, Chamber of Secrets. As Hedwig's Theme plays over the opening credits, he hears a thump on the stairs and smiles.
He looks over to see the largest of his snakes slithering down the stairs. Monty, Deceit's Burmese python, thumps down the stairs, all 23 feet of him slowly emerging from Deceit's room. Deceit walks up the stairs to close his door but pauses when he looks in at another snake. "Oh, now you come out of hiding?" He sighs and picks it up. "I guess you can have a ride too." He closes the door and returns to the couch. Monty has stolen his sunning spot, but Deceit flops down and makes himself comfortable in python's coils. Monty coils around his owner and sets his head on his lap. Deceit rubs his head and continues watching the movie.
William, the corn snake draped over his shoulders, yawns and drops his head beneath Deceit's cape. Deceit tips his head sideways and gives William a neck hug. He yawns himself then continues watching.
Nagini, the ball python Deceit picked up, seems to resent the attention William's getting. She wraps herself around Deceit's torso, nuzzling the Side's hand. Deceit absently rubs her head then returns to stroking Monty's.
Basil, the green snake wrapped around Deceit's arm, seems perfectly content where she is. She moves slightly, snuggling close to the Side's warmth. Deceit watches the movie, smiling to himself. He loves his snakes.
When it ends, William and Basil have fallen asleep and Deceit, held down by Nagini and Monty's coils, soon follows suit after turning off the TV.
Virgil and Patton return carrying grocery bags. Virgil sets his down and declares, "I'm going to take a nap." He yawns. "I'm tired."
"Alright, kiddo," Patton says.
Virgil sinks out. He appears in the Mindscape only to pause before climbing the stairs. He looks at the couch to see...
"...Monty?" Virgil asks, bewildered. The python raises his head to eye Virgil. Then he sets his head back down again. Virgil walks over. "Hey Dee?"
"Hm?" Deceit replies sleepily.
"You alive down there?"
"No," he answers, yawning.
"Is there room for me down there?"
"No." Deceit yawns again.
"Great." Virgil flops down on Monty, getting into the large snake's coils. Monty, knowing Virgil's likes, coils around him.
Virgil looks past Monty's coils to Deceit. He pokes the reptilian Side. "Let me borrow Nagini."
"Yes."
"Can I at least borrow Basil?"
Deceit yawns. "Yes. Don't be quiet. I'm not trying to sleep."
"Whatever." Virgil yawns. "Oh, now you've got me yawning."
"Don't go to sleep, then."
Virgil shrugs. "Alright." He yawns.
Soon both of the former Dark Sides are sleeping.
"I'm going to get something from my room! I will return shortly!" Roman sinks down and disappears into the Mindscape. He returns a second later with a shriek. "There's a snake on the couch!"
"Now Roman," Patton says disapprovingly, "we agreed not to call Deceit a 'snake' anymore."
"No, there's an actual snake on the couch!"
"What?" Logan says. "You must be mistaken."
"No, there's an honest to goodness snake on the couch! A giant snake!" Roman seems to be freaking out. "It takes up the entire couch!"
"Are you afraid of snakes?" Patton asks.
"No!" Roman answers quickly. "I just, uh, don't like them!"
"Well, Roman," Patton says, "I'll come with you. Deal?" Roman nods and the two sink out.
When they rise up in the Mindscape, Virgil says sleepily, "Hi." He yawns. "Good morning."
"See? A snake!" Roman points at the couch.
Virgil rubs Monty's head. "You mean Monty? He's a sweetheart."
"You're underneath him!" Roman says.
Virgil shrugs. "He's a big scaly blanket."
"Well, yes, there is a snake on the couch," Patton says. "And a Virgil."
"There are four snakes on the couch," Virgil says. "Five if you count Deceit."
"What?" Deceit's head pops up from the coils. "Are we talking about me?" His hat has disappeared and he looks half asleep. "I'm not awake."
"Go back to sleep, Dee," Virgil says. Deceit nods tiredly and lowers his head.
Logan rises up. "Hello. Thomas says we don't need to return." He notices Monty and Virgil. "Ah, yes. Is that a Burmese python?"
"Yep," Virgil says. "This is Monty."
"A python!?" Roman repeats. "Could he crush us then swallow us!?"
"You've watched Jungle Book too many times," Virgil says. Then a smile spreads across his face. "But yes, he could."
"WHAT!?"
"You guys don't look close enough to me that he won't," Deceit says sleepily.
"Pythons rarely attack people, Roman," Logan says. "I doubt Monty would."
"Besides, even if he did eat you, you'd reform later. But don't worry about it, Dee and I can keep him under control," Virgil says. "Right Monty?" He lowers his head and looks into the python's eyes. The python stretches his head out and touches his nose to Virgil's nose. Virgil breaks into one of the biggest smiles the other three Sides have ever seen on him. "That's what I thought."
Roman sighs. "Well, I will be getting something from my room." He turns and starts walking to the stairs.
"...Little did the man know he was going to step on a SNAKE!" Virgil yells.
Roman shrieks and jumps two feet into the air.
"On a snake!" Virgil continues. "But he MISSED it!" He hides his smile.
"Rip Vine," Deceit mumbles sleepily.
"Ooh, too soon," Virgil says.
"Not afraid of snakes, huh?" Patton asks with a smirk.
"Shut up!" Roman says, face as red as his sash. He runs up the stairs. "I'll be in my room!" He slams his red door behind him.
Deceit laughs underneath Monty. He sits up, pushing the large coils off him. Nagini slithers from him to Virgil. Virgil rubs her back. "This is Nagini. She's a ball python."
"Like the snake in Harry Potter?" Patton asks.
"Yeah. Do you want to hold her?"
Patton shakes his head. "I'll look though." He sits next to Virgil. Nagini nuzzles the new Side's hand. "What does she want?"
"She doesn't want you to stroke her head," Deceit answers. He picks up his hat to put it on only to sigh. "Basil..." He dumps the green snake out of his hat and puts it on. "Basil's not a green snake."
"And, uh, where is the fourth snake?" Patton asks. Logan sits next to Deceit. Monty has moved to the floor, curled up. Basil decides to investigate Logan and slides off Deceit. She curls up on his lap.
"William?" Deceit taps his shoulders then looks around. "Where is William?"
Patton, who's stroking Nagini's head, freezes when something cool curls over his shoulders. He looks to see a snake curling around him. He yelps quietly. "Is this William?"
Deceit looks over and smiles. "He doesn't like you."
"He does?" Patton rubs the snake's head. "That's cool. How can you tell?"
"He went from Deceit past me to you," Virgil says. "And he knows me."
"Cool! What kind of snake is he?"
"William isn't a corn snake," Deceit answers. "He's full grown. There others aren't."
"How long will he get?"
"He'll probably not end up about five feet long, but he couldn't get up to six."
"You know a lot about snakes," Logan says.
"I don't like snakes," Deceit says proudly. "Right, Monty?" The large python on the floor sets his head on his owner's lap, nuzzling his hand. Deceit rubs his head. "Our scales don't match!" Deceit says with a smile. "See?" He lifts Monty's head next to his. Their scales are the same.
"I think we should stay out here and continue to make Roman uncomfortable," Virgil says. "All in favor?" A pause. All four raise their hands. Virgil grins. "Great."
"You shouldn't put in Sorcerer's Stone," Deceit says. "How long until he joins us to watch the movie?"
"Let Hedwig's Theme start playing and he'll be down here," Patton says. "That's my guess!"
Patton was right, although Roman stays as far away from the snakes as possible.