Work Text:
The stars were beautiful that night.
Hajime sat beside the pool, looking up into the void. Everything had changed. Everything was in a state of changing.
A killing game?
Breathe, he tried to convince himself.
He couldn’t.
It was dark, he was alone, he was worthless, he was going to die before he could get off this island.
The breaths came shorter now, and his palms grew sweaty.
He tried to plead with himself.
Breathe.
His mind started to race faster and faster, until he felt like he was drowning in them.
Drown. Pool. his thoughts seemed to warn.
He tried to shove those thoughts away.
His hands started shaking absentmindedly beside him.
Breathe, he thought harder, biting down on his lip.
Silently screaming, he tried to force himself to take a shaky breath.
He bit his lip harder, drawing blood. The coppery taste filled his mouth.
The thoughts continued at their breakneck pace.
Trust no one. Murder. Worthless. Blood. Death. We don’t have a choice.
Hajime forced in a gasping breath.
He felt cold, and the starlight glinted cruelly off of everything it touched.
His thoughts raced, slightly slower now.
Worthless. Broken. Useless.
The island and killing game were bad, but the worst part so far was what was already in his head.
His pulse raced, and the weight on his chest made him feel like he was slowly being crushed.
Breathe.
Notice three things you can feel. (the ground, my shirt, my hands wrapped around themselves)
Notice two smells. (chlorine, blood from where I bit my lip)
Four things you can see. (the pool, the stars, the cabins, the pool chairs)
One thing you can taste, if possible. (the blood from earlier.)
Three things you can hear. (the pool filter, the ocean, my own heartbeat.)
Hajime grounded himself, like every time before. His hands were shaking. His head hurt, and he was tired. Still, he thought to himself. I have to carry on.
The boy trudged back to his cabin, thankful no one had seen him. He had no idea what his episode would have looked like from the outside, and didn’t want anyone to worry about him.
The stars remained indifferent.