Chapter Text
Maybe life seemed to be a bit less grey with a tiny bit less amount of pain to carry on. Lara walked alone for such a long time now – even before Himiko – she was afraid she forgot how to not be alone anymore. Roth and Sam were very close to her, but Roth was present since she was a child and Sam... Sam kind of forced her way into her life with her stubbornness, annoying positivity and high level of energy.
But besides them, Lara didn’t have a strong social background behind her. Maybe Ana was the closest to that, but even if she considered she could always turn to her, she was also very independent and rarely asked for help or let others know she may in need of help.
Her father was the only exception, but she always looked up to him and tried to amaze him, make him proud. They were a team, her team and they were destined to make great discoveries together.
Then, suddenly, her team was gone and she needed to adapt.
Looking back now she could see how long the road was that led her to this moment, finding herself out in the open – still in the middle of nothing and still cold.
But now she didn’t feel alone and it just felt... good. It was easy, when someone joins you for a walk – for how long you don’t know, but you don’t even want to know, because it doesn’t matter. All that matters is just the present and how nice the companion is, even if you don’t even talk to each other because it is not needed. To be near someone because you like that, because it is just right and easy to do, without any expectations.
That’s how she felt around Jacob – easy, relaxed and light. The problems were still there, but she had more free moments when she was able to just breathe than ever before.
Nothing significant changed, yet, Lara couldn’t put her finger on it, but nothing was the same as before – the very same feeling she felt ever since she let Jacob out of that cell. Couldn’t tell what was so different about him, but something was.
She was still Lara Croft and she was still always on the go, in and out of the valley into the screams and gunshots and river of blood. And yet, when she sat next to the fire making new arrows or cleaned her guns, looked up and he was there. Stepped into the valley and soon enough found her way at his side. It was like he was always on the perimeter of her vision and all she needed to do was reaching out for him and he was there as the only stable point in this madness.
There were no fanfares, no declarations of love, no pink cloud and silly, cheesy lines. They were just simply drifting toward each other more and more since she gave up resisting – and felt like she wasn’t the only one who tried to resist. Neither of them expected this to happen and yet if she gave it a moment of thinking she couldn’t see how it cannot happen.
They talked. It was easy to keep the conversation going on and on, be it about a tactical meeting with him and Sofia or just talk about the small things; the history of Kitezh and that slowly eased into everyday information and eventually giving away tiny pieces of personal things. He letting her know for how long his people were chased and put under pressure because of the legends of the Source and how it put him in a difficult position, being their leader and the person who was supposed to keep them hidden and therefore safe. How he felt like he was failing over and over with this task, how more people were dying than being born, how these losses affected even his personal life, how afraid he was for Sofia’s wellbeing and future and even though he never exactly said this to her, but how he still missed Sofia’s mother from his life. Jacob was strong, someone who endured a lot and could take more, but not without being hurt in the process. He still bled over the losses of the past and will bleed more over the losses of the future.
He never pressured her to give away anything in return, but she caught herself slowly opening up to him, like a flower after a long winter finally feeling the first warmer sunlight on itself – tempting to grow and show her true colours, but still afraid of the cold.
Lara talked about a friend, who let her down when she needed her the most and after that, she was sacrificing so much for her. About a sweet-sweet boy, who wanted to be her hero, and show his bravery, just to make her finally notice him, but it cost him too much. A friend who was rather a father, than anyone else after losing her biological one, who wanted to protect her so much, he didn’t even care what it took him to fulfil this wish. Loss after loss, the history of her journey how she ended up here and how she ended up being like this she was today, how she felt like it was a one-way route and how it felt final, even if she would change her mind on the go, she couldn’t leave this path now. She wasn’t sure about she still left blood to bleed when her next loss will kick in her doors.
But there were some happy memories as well, not a lot, but there were. When she was still at the university, shared a flat with her friends, still young and carefree, her future full of possibilities. Fun stories that still made her smile and laugh, even if she wasn’t as carefree anymore as before, still counted, because she was still able to smile and there was someone again in her life who could make her smile.
Jacob had very unique humour; he wasn’t loud and cheerful, he wasn’t a person who demanded your attention with the greatest stories he would share with anyone and be the centre of the group. He was rather modest, not silent, but calm and not transparent; somehow he was still full of life and still vibrated with all the colours of his complex personality. There was the sadness of course, but that was rather only an outer layer of him and there were so much more; like his soft jokes hidden in his answers or playful flirtatious comments, giving her a sneak-peak of how much love he still was able to give and how fierce his love could be. It wasn’t like her fire, burning bright and wild, giving out so much warmth and light, but also the danger of destruction. She was a phoenix who could be reborn after burning, but nothing else and nothing would be the same after that, not even her. Jacob was like the ocean that washed the sandy shore peacefully for centuries and never gone, calm, but powerful. And if anything Lara needed some water in her life, the gentle breeze on her face, the roar of the endless waves that gave her safety.
These were her favourite stolen moments with him when they found a moment to be alone and exchanged silly little stories from the past and laughed and looked at each other like there was nothing dangerous out there, no tasks were waiting for them to fulfil, no-one relied on them with such a weight they could barely move anymore. They just needed the other to be close and smile and laugh and just be happy.
It was simple; it was easy, like holding hands. It was admitting of I like you and I hope you like me too.