Chapter Text
It all started the day Shiro went missing.
The Paladins (excluding Shiro), Allura, and Coran stand around the control room. Depressed faces all around; the silence is unbearable so Lance speaks up.
"Okay guys.. I know this looks bad but- but Shiro would want us to keep saving people!" Lance says, looking around at all their moping faces. His friends around the room shift uncomfortably. "Y'know- form Voltron! Not just.. sit around the castle and hope he comes back-"
"Lance,." Allura cuts him off sharply, standing up with a barely hidden scowl. "I understand you are trying to help, but please stop."
The Blue Paladin looks taken aback and he tries to look into each of their eyes, but they all avoid his eye contact. "Uh- right okay, yeah. I'll just..." He throws a thumb over his shoulder and awkwardly shuffles out of the room, noticing the mumbled whispers as he leaves. He tries not to let it get to him. Gotta stay strong.
For Shiro.
It's a few days later when Keith is sitting alone in the common room of the castle. Shiro disappearing has put a real damper on everyone's moods, but especially Keith's because he's now expected to lead Voltron. He rubs his hands over his face and leaves them there comfortably. He hears the door open and he suppresses a groan.
"Keith?" The leader sighs and looks up; seeing Lance standing in the doorway, clad in his blue dress-robe and lion slippers. "What are you doing up so late?" He takes a seat across from the new Black Paladin and smiles uneasily.
"I could ask you the same thing." The shorter man counters, raising an eyebrow.
Lance chuckles airily and runs a hand through his damp brown hair. "I just finished my nightly routine and I came out to get some water, now you?" He grins, wiggling his eyebrows. Keith rolls his eyes.
"You know, you really need to train more." Lance's smile slowly slips off his face, feeling a lecture coming on. "You should stop spending so much time worrying about your... "Nightly routines" and start focusing on getting better at fighting. We're fighting a war here Lance. And now, without Shiro here, we all need to pick up the slack."
Keith stands up and stretches. "I'm going to bed. Night," Without another word, the short emo guy turns and leaves the room. Lance stares after him with a sad expression, and he looks down at his hands in thought before going out the same door- but doesn't stop by his bedroom door.
He keeps going until he reaches the training room.
He doesn't get much sleep that night.
It's what Shiro would do.
"Lance! I need you over there to cover Pidge!" Keith yells through the comms. Lance tries to speak up but his voice is drowned out by the others, so he just zooms over to his friend in need and does as he's told.
The Green Lion gets hit and it spins a few times while Pidge tries to straighten herself out again. "Pidge! Are you okay?" Lance asks as he zooms towards her once more, going a bit too fast because he's not used to his new lion- and he slams straight into her. "Argh-" They both get sent flying. Green- having not have recovered from her last hit just yet- does a few flips and Pidge grunts in pain as she attempts to get them upright again.
Her face-camera pops up on Lance's screen, and she looks disgruntled. "Lance, watch where you're flying!" Pidge growls, straining to try and avoid being hit by the enemy laser-beams.
"Sorry Pidge, I'm not used to how fast this one is." He says sheepishly, trying once again to fly around her lion and help her out with the battle-cruisers.
"Just- watch it."
He nods mutely and her face disappears. Frustrated with himself, he reminds himself and his new lion of who the enemies are and who their friends are.
Be like Shiro, show them you can do it.
They land back in the lion hangars, another fleet of Galran soldiers have been taken care of. Another battle won.
Red's mouth opens and Lance uses his jet-pack to gently guide himself to the floor. He takes his helmet off and shakes his head, letting his hair move around freely- although quite stiff from the helmet. He looks around and sees his friends doing the same and he starts walking over to them, helmet under his left arm and a smile on his face.
The others look over at him as he jogs the last bit of the way, they're smiling slightly in return (apart from Keith, but what do you expect). He lets out a fast breath and lets the smile on his face take over, growing bigger and bigger as his heart swells with love for these people he considers close to family.
"We did it!" He says with a fist-pump, grinning happily at the others. Allura laughs softly and covers her mouth with her free hand politely. Pidge and Hunk are smiling around at the group, happy to have survived another day. Keith isn't sharing their enthusiasm. And here it comes.
"You could have lost us the battle, Lance." Keith chastises, holding his helmet down at his side with his left hand. "You could have gotten Pidge seriously hurt- or in a worst-case-scenario, killed."
Lance shrinks back slightly at his harsh words. "I-I'm sorry Keith, but like I said before- I'm not good with Red! She's way to fast for me and-"
"Stop giving excuses!" He yells, and Lance jumps back in surprise, his eyes wide and confused. "You need to learn how to work with her. You were already a pilot before you switched to Red, so I don't know why you're finding this so difficult!"
The Cuban boy's heart shatters and he blinks rapidly, his mouth hanging open in shock. He doesn't look over at the others but he can see that they look almost as shocked as him.
When Lance doesn't say anything else, Keith huffs angrily and turns on his heel, stalking out of the hanger on his own; leaving behind a group of confused Paladins.
The others look over at the tanned boy and see him staring dejectedly at the floor. They try to talk to him, provide him some comfort, but he shrugs them all off, opting to just go to the training room- despite how badly he wanted to go soak in the bath.
Prove to them that you're not a failure or a mistake.
Lance picks up his face-masks box and stares down at it, no emotion visible on his face. In his other hand he holds a clean plastic trash bag he got from the kitchen. Without too much care, he pushes every face and make-up product he owns into the bag.
He looks around the now-empty bathroom bench and feels another bit of his heart being crushed. With a resigned sigh he ties the bag up and goes to throw it in the trash but he hesitates.
Just do it, they don't mean anything right? The thought scares him. Do they really mean that much to him that he can't throw them away? He blinks slowly and swallows audibly.
The next thing he knows, he's shoving them in the cupboard under his bench, far in the back so he can't see them everyday. It's stupid, he should just throw them out. But... they bring an odd sense of comfort to him, like a safety net or something.
He sits back on his knees and looks sadly at the bag for a long moment, before finally closing the cupboard doors with a gentle click. He rests his head against the cool surface and tries to keep his breathing even.
Do whatever it takes.
Every free chance he gets is spent training. Training with his gun on targets in the open. While hiding. Doing rolls and shooting at the same time. Anything he can think of to help him. But some days, when his hands are blistering and sore and cramped from over-use, he'll go to the library in the castle and read up on everything he can about the Galra race.
He practises with swords, bats, and even bits of debris he finds when he's out flying with Red.
His muscles are more defined, as he spends a lot of time working on them too. If he's going to save people, then he'll need to be strong. What if someone was injured and couldn't walk to a safe place? What if he had to carry several people at a time? So he does drills. He fills bags up with books, or other heavy objects he can find, and he puts one on his back, and carries one bridal style in his arms. Then it gets more intense from there.
Soon enough he can carry three big bags full of books, two on his back and one over his shoulder. He's still trying to fit as many more on his person as he can, but there's not enough room.
But the fear of not being able to save that one person keeps him going. He works hard hours into the night, running, ducking behind places, even puts down the three bags he's holding and pulls out his bayard, shooting at the bots that come his way. He's not going to let anyone die on his watch. He'll make sure of that.
He'll make them see. Shiro will be so proud.
Pidge and Hunk share a look as Lance tries to finish his food quickly. Things haven't been the same since their leader went missing. Sure, they were all heart-brokenly devastated over his disappearance, but Keith and Lance have taken it the worst out of all of them. They didn't like getting along before it happened, but now the two aren't even on speaking terms.
After Keith yelled at Lance, the Red Pilot threw himself into training, and his two best friends know that it's not okay, but they can't seem to get through to him. Every time they show concern for him and his well being, he just brushes them off with an empty pun and weak finger guns. His smiles are scarce and he doesn't talk anywhere near as much as he used to.
Lance quickly scoops up the last of his mac 'n cheese and shoves it into his mouth before standing up. He rushes off to the kitchen and the two friends don't see him again- he probably went out the other door. That's another thing he's doing: he can't sit still for more than five seconds.
He's always running around, never staying in one place for too long because he's "got things to do".
They're not sure what to do to help him.
So they do nothing.
What would Shiro have done?
Time goes on. They save people, planets, homes, families.. And all the while Lance keeps training in all of his spare time. They keep searching for Shiro.
Until one day.. they find him.
Keith and Shiro stumble out of the black lion as soon as they land. Keith activates his jet-pack to stop them from falling completely, but they still collide with the floor rougher than he would have liked.
The others also exit their lions and see Keith struggling top hold up an unconscious Shiro; he barks out a strained, "Lance!" as he heaves the older man towards the direction of the healing pods. Lance reacts immediately and loops an arm around the other side of their former leader.
Together they haul him through the castle and into one of the pods. The blue-tinted glass closes over him.
Hank and Pidge linger a few metres away with concerned looks, Allura is standing beside them trying to compose herself, and Coran is typing something into the pod's keypad with his eyebrows furrowed.
Keith is standing with his hand raised to the glass, a hopeful look settles on his face- something they haven't seen since before Shiro went missing in the first place. Lance stands off to the side, his legs shoulder width apart and his hands clasped behind his back- a pose that screams soldier.
Once Coran finishes typing, he pulls out a handkerchief and wipes at his eyes before pocketing it once again.
"His injuries are extensive, so I don't expect he'll be awake for another week or so." The older Altean explains, and the hopeful mood is shifted into one of suspense. Looks are exchanged around the room by all except Lance, and then their eyes settle back on their former leader.
The room goes completely silent and Keith sits down right in front of the pod. Lance does a glance over the room but his eyes linger over Shiro's damaged body and he feels something in his chest feel painful. Something he hasn't felt in... a while. It hurts. His eyes start to burn and he quickly turns around and leaves the room.
He doesn't go back in until Shiro wakes up.
Lance enters the room and sees Shiro being supported by Keith and Hunk by his elbows, a giant smile clear on his face as they talk softly. They all have tears in their eyes and they're talking animatedly with their hands. Lance feels something tug in his chest. He walks closer until he's a little behind Pidge, where he stops and assumes soldier pose.
Shiro looks past the team and sees Lance standing tall behind them all, no expression clear on his face. The former black Paladin laughs happily, "Lance!" pulling away from the two boys and stumbles slightly to get closer to the Red Paladin. The boy in question's back straightens slightly, and his eyes meet Shiro's, they look glazed over almost. "Yes, sir?"
They all see how their leader's smile falters slightly in confusion. Then it fades into a horrified, open mouth stare. He lowers his arms and takes a few hesitant steps towards the boy, his steps stuttering. He stops in front of him, Lance's eyes never leaving Shiro's as if waiting for a command. Shiro slowly brings his hands up to Lance's face and rests them on the sides of his tanned skin. His thumb run over Lance's skin, testing the waters.
Lance just blinks at him, no goofy smile, no hug, no funny pun.. Shiro's right hand slips down from Lance's cheek and goes to hold the back of his neck gently. Still nothing.
The former Black Paladin lets out a shuddering breath and turns his head to look over his shoulder, his glare desperate and confused, and his voice a deadly whisper,
"What have you done to him?"