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Tamaki likes waking up slow, sleeping past morning and rousing only when his body deems it so — and not banging sounds on his door telling him he’s late for school. He’s a growing boy, he needs sleep, but no matter how many times he says this it’s always met with exasperation. Okay, he doesn’t always go to bed on time (he’s not Iorin) but that isn’t usually relevant.
There’s always been two exceptions to this self established ritual, and two only; Aya-chan’s birthday, where he was always the first one awake to make sure her morning was as special as possible; and the first days of snow.
It’s probably childish, the way he wakes up groggily yet is up on his feet in an instant as soon as he recognises the sky to be whiter than he remembers it to be. The glass of the window is cold on his cheek as he presses his face up against it, eager to see outside. And it’s beautiful. He’s no poet, he can barely describe things as is, but the snow outside falls lightly onto thick white fluff like the inside of his pillow. His eyes sparkle like snowflakes, and within five minutes he’s in the kitchen fully clothed (plus fuzzy slippers).
He’s greeted by Sougo and Iori, who are already holding steaming mugs. Probably coffee, since Sougo’s weird like that and drinks bitter stuff.
“Good morning, Yotsuba-san.”
“Good morning, Tamaki-kun. You’re up early today!”
“It’s because of the snow.” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. And it should be, because it’s snowing.
Iori blinks. “Did the snow wake you up...?”
“Somehow, I don’t think that’s what he meant...” chuckles Sougo.
Tamaki shakes his head. “I wanted to see it. The snow.”
Sougo smiles at him, his gaze travelling to the window. “It’s lovely... but you’ll need to eat breakfast before you go outside, no?”
“Well, yeah...” says Tamaki. He bounces on the heels of his feet, impatient. “I’ll eat super quick!”
“I made too much for my own breakfast, so you can help yourself if you’d like.” Sougo nods behind him and Tamaki tries not to wince. Only god knows what Sougo could have put into an innocent omelette.
Luckily, Iori throws him a rope. “There’s also leftovers in the fridge from last night, and some easily prepared food, Yotsuba-san.”
“Thanks, Iorin.” he says, hopes his relief isn’t too apparent.
He’s reheating something in the microwave when Riku enters the kitchen, singing a “Good morning!” to everyone. Tamaki’s back is turned, so he’s not sure why Iori, with a voice dripping with horror, lets out a “What on earth is that.”
Tamaki turns to see Riku sporting a Christmas jumper, and a colourful one at that. He looks very pleased with himself.
“Nice jumper, Rikkun. I like the big gingerbread man.”
“And the reindeer.” adds Sougo. “All twelve of them.”
Riku beams. “Isn’t it awesome? What do you think, Iori?”
Iori looks away, and instead begins to rinse his now-empty mug at the sink. “It’s… It’s festive.” he says.
“I can get you one to match, if you want!”
“That won’t be necessary, Nanase-san.”
“Aww, c’mon! It’ll be fun!”
As the two begin to bicker, yet again, Tamaki’s breakfast finishes with a ping in the microwave, and he enjoys it in silence as he watches Sougo attempt to help Riku convince Iori of his stellar idea.
Tamaki stands by the door, leg bouncing in anticipation, waiting for Sougo to finish pulling the gloves onto his hands.
“I can just go out without them on, Sou-chan.” he attempted to persuade him, but had been met with one of Sougo’s looks and he didn’t complain any more after that.
Sougo finishes by doing up the last button on Tamaki’s coat that he’d left undone, and steps back with a sigh. “Okay, I’m done.” he says, and smiles fondly. “You can go play.”
“Thanks!” beams Tamaki, and he’s out the door instantly. The difference in temperature doesn’t even hit him at first; he’s too busy spinning around in circles with his arms flung outwards and giggling at the clouds, like it’s his first winter as a child. The snow lands on his cheeks and they melt against the warmth of his happy blush. Sougo stands by the door, arms crossed over each other keeping his cardigan close about his shoulders, watching him.
“Oi, Tama.” calls a voice from somewhere… up. “Watch you don’t slip. And if you’re planning on slipping, let me get my phone first.”
Tamaki looks up at Yamato, who’s leaning on his windowsill and watching him from his room. He throws up a hand and waves. “Yama-san, come outside with us!”
“Us?”
“Sou-chan’s here too.”
“Oh, right. Sorry though, Tama, but I think Onii-san’s too old to run about in the snow like that.”
For the second time that morning, Riku enters stage right with forte, pulling a flustered Iori by the hand. Riku must have convinced Iori in the end, as his usual smart fashion is obscured by a bright blue woolen thing decorated with snowflakes and sequins. “Nanase-san, you can let go of me now!” he protests, but Riku only laughs, making doubly sure Iori can’t escape.
“You’re not going back in until we make a snowman!” he insists, letting go of Iori at last to scoop up snow at his feet.
Iori sighs, but he crouches down to help anyway. “You’re hopeless.” he smiles.
“Are we all outside?” calls Nagi from the doorway. He steps forward into the snow, and looks delighted. “Oh, how pretty!”
“Nagicchi, it’s a snow day!” says Tamaki.
“And he’s not going anywhere without a scarf!” says Mitsuki, appearing behind Nagi and catching him with a scarf, almost comically large and fluffy.
As he’s wrapping Nagi up properly and fussing over him, Yamato laughs from his window. “Mitsu, if you keep acting like his father like that he’ll forget you’re only 21.”
“Shut up, old man!” Mitsuki snaps back. “You want our Nagi to catch a cold?”
“‘Our Nagi’? You really have adopted him. What do you want for Father’s Day?”
Mitsuki, with the grace one would have on stage, reaches down and hurls a snowball in Yamato’s direction. It breaks across the outside wall of the dorm, and nobody gets hit, but the atmosphere shifts immediately, and before Tamaki can even blink Yamato’s rushed downstairs and is tugging on a jacket with death in his eyes.
Mitsuki laughs loudly and ducks behind Nagi for cover, who is caught innocently in between the two of them and throws up his hands to brace himself against the attack. “Why are you targeting me?!” he yells. “We’re unitmates, and we should team up!”
Riku perks up at the idea. “Ohh, that’s really smart!” He turns to Iori, who is working on their snowman with surprising dedication. “Iori, let’s team up against Pythagoras!”
“Sou-chan, you heard them.” calls Tamaki, turning to his partner. “You have to help me, or I’ll be all alone!”
Sougo laughs, looking a little nervous. “I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone…”
“It’s just snow!” says Riku. “It’ll be fun, Sougo-san!”
He bites his lip. “W-Well… I suppose…”
And soon, all seven of them are ducking down and hurling snowballs at each other. Tamaki gets Yamato square in the back, and is quickly repaid by a waist shot from Nagi, hidden behind a fort wall (when exactly did he manage to make that?). There’s shouting as Riku runs around, attempting to escape Mitsuki’s line of fire, and Iori crouches low preparing a pile of ammunition for his teammate.
Riku turns on his heel, and winds back his arm to throw a shot directly for Tamaki. He ducks down into the snow, the projectile soaring over his head easily, but a shout of surprise from behind him makes his stomach drop. He turns to watch as Sougo falls flat on his ass, after taking Riku’s snowball to the face.
A thousand cries of “Sougo-san!” sound at once, and Tamaki drops to his knees beside him. “Sou-chan, are you okay?!” he asks, panicked.
“I’m so sorry, Sougo-san!” wails Riku, doubled over apologetically. “I’m really, really sorry!”
Sougo laughs, and dusts some of the snow off of his scarf and shoulders. “Don’t worry Riku-kun, I know you didn’t mean it.”
Tamaki extends a hand, and helps him back onto his feet. “You gonna be alright, Sou-chan..?”
He hums, and forms another snowball almost absentmindedly in his gloved hands. “Yes, I should be, but…” He stops packing the snow abruptly and smiles at Tamaki. “We should get serious now, huh, Tamaki-kun?”
A shiver runs through the group, and not because of the winter chill.
A knock sounds thrice on his door, and Tamaki lets out a “Yeaahhh?” from where he’s collapsed on his bed. He knew Sou-chan was scary, but…
“Tamaki-kun? Are you busy?”
What was that saying… speak of the devil…?
Tamaki shakes his head and sits up, waiting a few moments in silence before realising that Sougo can’t see him and that he needs to actually say something. “Uh, no, I’m not.”
“Ah, that’s a relief. Could you come help me out with something? It’ll prove a little tricky on my own.”
He ponders this. “Will I be rewarded?”
A fond chuckle. “Yes, you can have pudding afterwards.”
“Hell yeah!”
He springs to his feet and opens the door to Sougo holding a cardboard box to his hip, struggling with it a little as he tries to keep it balanced.
“I’ll take that for you.” he says, not waiting for a response before he removes the box carefully from Sougo’s hold.
“Oh — Thank you.” Sougo walks them over into the living room, where there are about three more, larger boxes waiting for them.
Tamaki sets down his box on the table and looks around. “What are these for?”
Sougo crouches down beside one and draws out a small penknife — which in turn draws an involuntary wince from Tamaki — and cuts open the tape sealing it. Tamaki peers over and watches as Sougo opens the box to reveal a number of glittering ornaments and shiny bells.
“Mitsuki-san and Iori-kun were kind enough to lend us decorations from their home.” Sougo explains. “I also bought some myself, but the majority are second hand.”
Tamaki sits beside him and helps him go through all the boxes, spilling the festive contents over the table and floor. “There’s a lot… that sure was nice of them.”
Sougo hums, and holds up a bauble, shining so that Tamaki can see himself in it, all distorted and red. “You can help me put the tree decorations up, and also help with decorating around the place in general. You’re taller than me too, so you can reach higher.”
“That’s cause Sou-chan’s tiny.”
“Well, perhaps.” He laughs, and pulls out a delicate-looking glass ornament with a bell suspended inside. Sougo gapes at it, making a small sound of wonder that he probably doesn’t realise he makes. “It’s so beautiful…”
Tamaki squints at it. He taps it carefully with his forefinger, and it rings sweetly, and quietly. “It’s like Rikkun.” he concludes, smiling.
“Eh?” Sougo looks at him, eyebrow raised.
“It’s pretty, and it sounds nice, and it looks like it’ll break easily.”
“I-Is that a compliment…? Oh, and speaking of Riku-kun, he left me some stockings this morning to hang up.” He gestures to the arm of the couch, where seven uniform red stocking are laid. “He seemed very excited for the season.”
“He’s been singing Christmas songs nonstop.” Tamaki frowns as he begins to untangle a long string of lights. “Plus that jumper he had on earlier.”
Sougo moves his box aside and helps Tamaki to tame the beast. “I hope it didn’t take too long for to dry.”
“Haha. We got really soaked, huh.” Tamaki’s fingers still feel a little tingly after warming up. “Your hair’s still a little wet, Sou-chan.”
“So is yours.” replies Sougo, who actually stops fiddling to give Tamaki a look. “Did you actually dry it when you came inside? You mustn’t catch a cold.”
“You said that already. But I did, I promise. I even borrowed Nagicchi’s hairdryer and everything.” he insists, because he did!
Sougo smiles at that, and reaches over to ruffle Tamaki’s hair. “Good. It’s important for you to take care of yourself.”
A remark sits on the tip of Tamaki’s tongue. He bites it back with a swallow, and instead lets himself be petted. “Mmhmm…”
Sougo’s hand falls away, and they finish unpacking the last few bits and pieces. Tamaki holds up one end of a long piece of silvery tinsel, and wiggles it about. “Where should this go?”
Sougo takes a look at it, sizing it, up and down. “Hm… it’s probably big enough for the tree, so how about there?”
Tamaki, for the first time that day, sees the tree, and blinks. “When did that get there…?”
Sougo gathers up the rest of the tinsel in his arms and they carefully walk over to it. “Oh, Yamato-san helped me put it up earlier. He’s stronger than me, so it was much needed.”
“You could’ve asked me.” says Tamaki. He carefully steps over a few empty boxes and piles of assorted hanging. “You’re plenty strong though, Sou-chan.”
“Even though you called me tiny earlier?”
“You can be both. Mikki is.”
A laugh. “Don’t let him hear you say that. Wrap that end around the top, will you?”
Tamaki obeys, watching as Sougo winds the rest of it around the lower section of the tree. “What’ll we put on the top?”
“I wonder…” Sougo’s head disappears from sight as he ducks behind the tree. “What do you want to put there, Tamaki-kun?”
“My King Pudding plushie.” is the immediate response. He doesn’t think Sougo expected anything else, so he might as well be in character.
“Of course. You really like pudding, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I love it!”
Sougo reappears, hair a little mussed, but otherwise okay. “Well, you should hurry up and put your plush up there before Nagi can get Kokona-chan there first. Can you pass me the rest of the tinsel, please?”
As Tamaki hands it over, Sougo asks “So, how come you like pudding so much?”
“It tastes really good. And I had it a lot as a kid.”
“Did you often decorate a lot as a kid too?” Sougo gives Tamaki one end of the tinsel.
“Yeah, we did. Aya-chan really likes Christmas, so we always made it really special for her… Not that we didn’t like it either, we all loved it. Mom’s dinners were the best too.”
“That’s really sweet.” Sougo steps away from the tree and admires it. “Tell me more about it while we put the ornaments up.”
Tamaki thinks back as he goes through the piles of reds and golds and greens. “Well… I would always want to stay up late on Christmas Eve, but then Mom would tell us that if we did then Santa wouldn’t come, so we would go to sleep instead. I’d wake up first though.”
“Really?” asks Sougo, pausing in his raking through of the box contents. “Ah, sorry, that sounded kind of rude…”
You could’ve been a little less surprised… thinks Tamaki. “I was always a good boy, so I was always sure that I’d get the stuff I asked for. And I did, even if it wasn’t everything.”
Sougo opens his mouth to speak, but he closes it, and shakes his head a little. “Were you good this year, Tamaki-kun?” he asks instead.
A familiar pang of guilt strikes him, like a snowball to the gut. Lots of things come to mind at once; the image of Sougo, scolding him; Sougo, rushing, distressed;
Sougo, lying in that hospital bed.
Tamaki slows down to a stop, finding the Riku ornament again and picking it up carefully with his fingertips. He’s quiet for a few moments. “...I don’t know.” he finally mumbles. “I don’t think so.”
“No?”
Tamaki looks up at Sougo. His eyes are wide, and he tilts his head slightly in curiosity. “Why’s that?”
“You know why, Sou-chan.” It slips out of him before he can stop himself, hanging heavy in the air between them. It comes out harsher, too, coupled with the pain from back then. He can’t meet his eye, all of a sudden. “I wasn’t good. I was lazy, and I didn’t listen, and I ran off and I made trouble for everyone. I don’t deserve anything this year.”
He only looks up when he feels a soft yet firm pressure on his hand, still holding the bauble. Sougo is smiling, something in his eyes a little distant, but his warmth is still there. Tamaki can see something in him then, a familiar sense of comfort, and it’s like all his clothes have grown four sizes and he’s a sniffling child again.
“Tamaki-kun, haven’t we discussed this already?” he says, his voice soft and a little sad. “What happened was my own fault. I didn’t take care of myself, and pushing the blame onto another person — a minor, especially — isn’t fair.”
“But I could’ve helped!” His voice rises as he feels himself becoming more indignant. “If you had told me, you wouldn’t have gotten sick—“
Sougo cuts him off. “And that’s on me. I… I know I should be more open about what’s bothering me.” His grip on Tamaki tightens a little, but he stays quiet. “I should stop bottling things up and keeping secrets. And I’m sorry that I let my selfishness impact you like that.”
“Sou-chan…” He trails off, unsure of what to say.
He takes Sougo’s wrist, and his hold loosens. Tamaki opens up his hand and sets the delicate glass ornament into his palm. Sougo looks up in surprise, but takes the ornament. He stares down at it for a while, like he’s thinking, and then closes his eyes and swallows.
“I appreciate you wanting to help me, I really do.” he says. “But please don’t say those kinds of things about yourself. It breaks my heart.”
Tamaki, slowly, nods. And slowly, he can feel something tugging at his own heart, filling it up to the brim. He’s not sure what it is — there’s some shame, but it’s not an overall negative feeling. It’s not bad. And maybe he isn’t all that bad either.
“Okay, Sou-chan.” he says. “But you have to promise that you’ll tell me — tell us if something’s wrong.”
A smile. “I promise.”
Tamaki holds up a pinky expectantly. Sougo looks at it, blinks, and laughs. Wordlessly, they link pinkies, and it really does feel like he’s a kid again.
Outside the window, the snow continues to fall.
They decorate the rest of the tree with confidence, a happy glow about them as they chatter about the group, how Tamaki’s classes are going, Sougo’s plans for gifts, and the fuzzy feeling doesn’t leave Tamaki entirely. It lingers as he boosts Sougo up to hang the final ornament on one of the uppermost branches, careful to let him down gently and not drop him.
“Thank you for helping, Tamaki-kun.” he says with a sigh of relief.
Tamaki looks upon the finished tree and grins. “No problem.” He swells with pride, pleased with himself.
“What else could we decorate?” Sougo glances around the room. “There’s some wall space for wreaths…”
“I wanna have candles. They’re cozy, and they make me feel sleepy.”
“Candles, huh…?” he muses. “They’re nice, I agree.”
“Not the smelly ones though.” Tamaki wrinkles his nose. “I don’t like them. And Rikkun probably wouldn’t either.”
“Ahaha, that’s true, it might not be good for him…”
A coo of delight comes from behind them, accompanied by a clap of hands. “Ohh~! It looks so pretty!”
Sougo looks past Tamaki and smiles. “Ah, Riku-kun, you’re back.”
Riku bounds towards them and admires the tree in awe. “It’s so sparkly…!”
“The Izumis lent us most of it.” says Sougo.
“But I picked them out.” Tamaki adds, eager for praise.
Riku’s eyes sparkle as he takes it all in. “Ahh, I love Christmas!” he sighs.
“We’re all aware.” says Iori, making his entrance quietly. “You’re probably the most excited out of all of us.”
Mitsuki follows behind his brother, a mug in hand. “I dunno, Nagi’s really looking forward to that limited edition Kokona figurine.” He lights up when he sees the tree completed. “Oh? You finished it already!”
“Tamaki-kun did the hard parts.” laughs Sougo.
Mitsuki turns to shout a “Yamato-san, Nagi, come look!” down the hallway, effectively summoning the rest of his unit as they appear from their rooms.
Nagi’s reaction is similar to Riku’s: “Oh! How wonderful!” he gushes, beaming sunshine. “It really completes the atmosphere!”
“You did a good job, Sou, Tama.” Yamato nods. “Really takes me back.”
“Isn’t it cute, Iori?” Riku throws an arm around Iori’s shoulder, who becomes flustered quicker than tree lights turning on, agreeing that yes, it is cute, please remove yourself from me Nanase-san.
And as Tamaki watches them all, still humming with the satisfaction of a job well done, the indescribable feeling from earlier returns. Except where before it filled itself to the brim, it spills over now and overflows, bathing him in a complete sense of certainty. It’s belonging, and having somewhere he slots into. An irreplaceable part of the rainbow that he melts into, like an icicle into a puddle in the early days of winter.
It’s new, but he’s found a family here, in the six of them.
His stomach rumbles a little. He’s a weak man, and Sougo had promised him pudding.
“Ah, Mikki, will you be making food for the Christmas party? Your stuff is always super tasty.” he asks, now that his mind is where his tummy is.
Mitsuki laughs, and pats him on the back. “Of course, Tamaki. If that’s what everyone wants, I’ll cook them up a feast!”
“Hell yeah!”
“The what?”
Everyone turns to an ashen Iori, with Riku’s arm still around his neck.
“What’s wrong, Ichi?” Yamato asks, with mild concern.
“What did Yotsuba-san…”
Tamaki’s never seen realization turn into horror quite as fantastically as it does on Iori’s face in this moment.
“The Christmas party.” he mumbles.
“...Iorin, did you forget about the party?”