Work Text:
After an unproductive chat with Risotto about getting a raise, Melone made his way back to the ever bland meeting room. He had proposed paintings or decorations before but they’d turned him down due to the lewd subject matter. What did they have to complain about? Sexual intercourse was an important part of the human psyche that need to be explored. Besides, he had seen their gazes when he brought one in for showcasing. They couldn’t hide anything. But complaints aside, at least the place had comfortable couches. One said couch was occupied currently by his favorite person to annoy.
Ghiaccio was intently staring at his cell phone with growing annoyed expression. Perfect timing.
"So, whatcha doing?" he said before blowing into his ear.
The reaction was immediate. After throwing the cell phone across the room, Ghiaccio managed to recover quickly.
"What the hell Melone?!"
"Hey, I only wanted to surprise you. So how was the mission?" he cooed.
It was always fun to annoy the ice boy.
"Screw off!" he screeched before getting up to collect his phone.
Judging from his relieved expression, it didn’t break against the wall. How unfortunate.
_ _ _
After checking his phone for damages, Ghiaccio sighed in relief. Thank fucking goodness. He had just bought this one so it would’ve been upsetting if he had to replace it already. He had the extended warranty but coming in a week after buying it would’ve been embarrassing. Not like he cared what those snotty "geniuses" had to say about it, though.
Melone was still in the room and waiting by the couch he had been sitting it. The bastard wasn’t done with his tormenting yet. As much as he wanted to leave the room, though, there weren’t many other chairs in the hideout. They only rented the place and besides Risotto's office, the rest of the rooms were mainly storage. If they ever made a big hideout they all could live at, Ghiaccio would turn the offer down despite the cost efficiency. He couldn’t be in a building with Melone for that long.
That didn’t mean he couldn’t be bitter. Sitting down on the couch farthest away from the creep, Ghiaccio returned his attention to his phone. Though, once again, he was interrupted.
"What update is it anyway? Personally, I think they release it too often. And even if they don’t, they keep making better phones so what’s the point of keeping the old model?"
"Fuck off Melone."
"Rude."
Rude? Like Melone knew the definition of rude. After an hour of updating, the screen dimmed to reveal the passcode screen. Fucking finally.
"Yay! It’s finally done! So, what’s the password?"
Shoving Melone away with his foot, Ghiaccio quickly typed in the passcode (2468) before sitting upright. Not today asshole.
"Woah! Ghiaccio, I didn’t know you manicured! Did Gelato teach you? I hear he’s great at his nails."
He should’ve taken Formaggio's warning seriously about the feet. How gross could Melone get? Though, he wouldn’t deny the artwork he brought in was...intriguing.
"Hey, what's wrong with your screen? I thought you had more apps than that."
Looking at his screen, Ghiaccio saw the problem. Half of his apps were missing. As he swiped the screen to the left, the next menu had nothing but two measly apps. Where were the rest?
"What the fuck Apple?!" he screeched.
"Quick, check your photos!"
Ghiaccio quickly clicked the icon which brought all his photos. Everything was still there from the looks of it. Of course, Melone couldn’t help but make a comment.
"Oh? So you did like my painting."
"Shut up! But do you realize what a huge problem this is!" he yelled. "Fuck! Even the AppStore is gone. How am I supposed to get my apps back if the fucking AppStore is missing!"
"Yo, what’s going on now?"
Formaggio leaned over the couch and stared into the screen.
"Oh, you liked the painting too? Prosciutto's just being a baby about it."
"I know, right?"
Oh, how he hated them.
"Both of you, fuck off! If you’re not going to help me then leave me alone."
"Woah, Woah! I’m not against helping you. I just have no idea what’s going on? So what’s the problem?" Formaggio lied.
If the problem was with technology, he was practically useless. He wasn’t going to say that out loud, though. If he could get a hold of Icy's phone, today would be that much better.
"I’m not going to help but I am staying around so..."
At least he was honest, Ghiaccio figured. Sigh. There wasn’t a point in not giving them a chance.
"Well, I just updated my phone but now half the apps are missing. I’m just not sure what to do."
"Why not call Pesci? He’s more experienced with these sort of things," the cheese man suggested.
"Oh good idea."
After quickly clicking the phone number, they waited in suspense for the answer.
Ring. Ring. Ring-
Finally the moment had come.
"We’re on a mission." And Prosciutto hanged up.
"Why the heck does Prosciutto have Pesci's phone?"
"He confiscates it during missions. Too distracting."
"Now you mention that, Melone?"
He shrugged his shoulders. It wasn’t his best prank.
"Fuck it. Pass it here."
Rather than passing, Formaggio swiped the phone and quickly began "working" on it. Ghiaccio quickly recovered it to look at the results.
"You enabled safe search. You fucker."
"I took my shot, Ghiaccio. You can’t blame me."
"Fuck you, I can!"
Transforming into White Album, Ghiaccio tackled the unsuspecting Formaggio to the ground. Formaggio could only scratch at him with Little Feet but the solid ice blocked his attacks. Taking his own moment of opportunity, Melone quickly began filling Ghiaccio's history with all the lewd things he could type. Unfortunately, Formaggio's activation of safe search had deflected his attempts. As he went to turn off the pesky setting, Ghiaccio pulled him into the fight which quickly turned into an uncomfortable dog pile. Their noise didn’t go unnoticed for long
"What the hell is going on?"
Coming from the mirror in the corner of the room, Illuso could only watch his teammates as they tumbled around in the floor. After carefully considering his actions, he slowly slipped back into the mirror.
However, Risotto wasn’t one to turn a blind eye to his teammates' struggle.
"What are you doing?"
Although his tone was monotone, the anger that filled his eyes inspired his teammates to quickly get in order. However, his persistent stare got them to spill the details.
"I updated my phone but now half the apps are gone..."
"Keep swiping at the home screen."
"What-?"
"I had the same problem when I updated my phone. It shoved all the apps to another menu rather than use the space effectively. They should all be there. Just rearrange them to fix it."
And with that, their quiet Capo returned to his office.
Ghiaccio picked up his phone slowly. Formaggio and Melone gathered next to him.
Swipe. Swipe. Shit.
They were all there. Every single one of them was still there. For once in his miserable life, Ghiaccio felt actually happiness. For once things went his way. Formaggio and Melone couldn’t help but cheer for their associate. They wouldn’t exactly call him a friend after all.
And that was when his phone crashed.
_ _ _
In the end, Ghiaccio decided to get a Samsung.