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Danny unlocked the front door and flung it open so hard it bounced off the wall. The detective threw his car keys on a nearby table and stormed up the stairs leaving Steve and Isabel watching him nervously.
“Danny is mad,” said Isabel with a little quaver in her voice.
“Yeah,” Steve sighed suddenly feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders.
“Is he mad at me?” the younger woman asked looking up at Steve with her bright blue eyes.
“Why would he be mad at you, sweetheart?”
Izzy shrugged.
“I thought maybe I did something wrong.”
Steve cocked his head to one side.
“Did he seem like he was mad at you when we picked you up from Rachel’s today?”
Izzy considered the question for a moment.
“No.”
“Then he’s not mad at you.”
Steve took Izzy’s backpack from her and put it in the hall closet as usual.
“Actually he’s mad at me,” he announced walking slowly to the kitchen.
“What did you do wrong?”
The SEAL looked over his shoulder quizzically.
“What makes you think I did anything wrong?”
Izzy shrugged and sat down at the kitchen table.
“Why else would he be mad at you?”
Steve shook his head and sighed as he poured her a glass of pineapple juice.
“You Williams kids. It’s always someone else’s fault.”
“If you didn’t do anything why is he mad?”
Steve opened his mouth then closed it again then shrugged.
“I guess in his mind I did something wrong but in my mind I didn’t. Get it?”
Izzy nodded and took a big gulp of her juice. She had already lost interest in the subject.
“Can I go out and sit on the beach?”
Steve nodded and rubbed a hand tiredly over his face.
“Yeah sure just don’t leave our yard ok? And don’t go in the water. You know how much your brother hates that.”
Isabel giggled and ran out the door with her glass of juice.
Steve released the heavy sigh of the terribly put-upon and slowly climbed the stairs to his and Danny’s room. His boyfriend was in the shower – not singing at the top of his lungs which was a bad sign – so Steve sat on the edge bed waiting for him to emerge. The SEAL felt a bit like he was waiting in front of a firing squad.
Several minutes later the bathroom door opened and Danny materialized out of a cloud of steam. He looked up at the smaller man and gave him a tentative smile for which he received a glare in return.
Just to piss Steve off, Danny dropped the wet towel that had been wrapped around his waist on the carpeting then went to his dresser to dig out something to wear.
“Danno…” Steve began.
“Don’t call me that,” snapped Danny not looking at his boyfriend, “at least not when I’m so goddamned mad at you.”
The detective pulled on his underwear then began rooting around for his jeans.
“Danny,” Steve tried again, “I was just doing my job.”
Danny stomped over to the bed and jabbed his finger in Steve’s chest.
“Do not say that to me! Don’t ever say that to me. You could have died you asshole!”
He turned and walked back to the dresser and ripped the jeans out of the drawer sending a pile of other pants tumbling to the floor after them.
Danny ignored the mess and hopped on one foot to pull his pants on while Steve stood up and folded Danny’s pants and returned them to the dresser drawer.
“Danny I’m trained for this sort of thing,” Steve said in a calm, reasonable voice that pissed Danny off even more.
“You’re trained for this sort of thing?” shouted Danny, one leg in his jeans, the rest puddled on the floor around his feet. “You’re trained to run into the path of a machine gun? They train you for that?”
“Well…yeah.”
“They train you to run into a building, without waiting for back up mind you, directly into the path of a crazy man with a machine gun?”
Steve shrugged slightly.
“I guess…pretty much.”
“They train you to ignore you partner who begged you to wait the 30 seconds it would have taken Chin and Kono to get around the other side of the building? They trained you not to wait the minute and a half for SWAT to arrive? They trained you to run into a building even though you knew good and goddamned well that Henry was trapped in there and he wouldn’t be able to get out? They trained you for that?”
Steve dropped his eyes and shrugged again, a smile twitching at his lips.
“Well not that specifically…”
“Do not Steven!” Danny growled in warning, kicking the jeans off his leg and coming to stand inches from Steve’s face. “Do not make a joke about this.”
The smaller man turned and stalked away several steps then stalked back. At another time Steve would have laughed about Danny doing this rant only in his boxer briefs but he had a greater sense of self-preservation than that.
“You don’t get it do you?” continued Danny, voice now hard and deliberately calm. “You’re not Mr. Action Man Super SEAL GI Joe one man against the world anymore. You’re a cop and a task force leader. There are rules to follow – procedures to abide by.”
“Those procedures take too much time sometimes Danny!” Steve spat.
Danny stood staring in disbelief at the taller man for a moment. As Steve watched his boyfriend deflated visibly and when he spoke again his voice was strangled, his arms dangling weakly at his sides.
“Too much time? Too much time to save your own life?”
“I was trained to put the lives of others first Danny…”
“You were a SEAL then and you were a single man!” shouted Danny fighting down the desire to punch Steve.
“Don’t you get it?” Danny continued, voice cracking slightly and arms now waving angrily. “You’re a family man now. You have a boyfriend and a step-daughter and a mentally challenged sister-in-law.”
The detective shoved his finger back in Steve’s face.
“You were the one that convinced me we should bring Izzy here. You were the one who said we’d handle it together, do you remember that?”
Steve nodded but stayed quiet.
“I can’t…” Danny’s voice broke and he put his hands on his hips and dropped his head to take several shaky breaths before looking back up at Steve intently.
“I can’t handle this alone Steve, not just Izzy but all of it,” he whispered. “You can’t fall in love with me and make every dream I ever had come true then throw it all away in some stupid, ill considered, macho move. You have responsibilities. You have a family that loves you and needs you.”
Danny made a pained sound and put one hand over his eyes.
“I know our work is dangerous. I know either one of us could be killed at any time but there’s a difference between getting killed when you’ve taken every precaution and the worst happens anyway and getting killed because you’ve done something stupid or you’re too macho not to wait for backup.”
Steve stood in the middle of the room staring at the floor and nervously twisting one finger around a belt loop in his cargo pants.
“I’m sorry Danny,” he murmured finally. “I wasn’t trying to be macho I’m just used to taking immediate action and not thinking about myself.”
Danny took a step closer to Steve, his hands spread in a pleading gesture.
“If you can’t think of yourself can you at least think of us? Of me? Can you do that please?”
Steve raised his eyes to look at his lover and nodded seriously.
“I will. I’ll try to be more careful in the future ok? I love you Danny. I won’t do anything to harm our family.”
Danny pressed his lips together and blinked rapidly before nodding as well. Finally he took two more quick steps to Steve and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s torso. Steve entwined his arms around Danny and felt the smaller man sink gratefully against him.
“I’m sorry I scared you,” Steve whispered into Danny’s ear.
Danny shook his head and tucked his face into Steve’s neck.
“I just…mom and dad died like three months ago and then you ran into that building and I heard the machine gun go off and I…I couldn’t…”
Danny took a shuddering breath and Steve lifted one hand to caress his lover’s hair.
“Shhh Danny, it’s ok now. I promise I’ll wait for back up from now on alright?”
The two men stood holding each other for a long moment then jumped when Izzy knocked loudly at the door.
“Danny? I’m hungry. When are we going to eat?”
Steve and Danny looked at each other and grinned.
“Go and peel three potatoes Iz. We’ll be down in a minute,” yelled Danny through the door.
Steve ducked his head and captured Danny’s mouth in a kiss before pulling away.
“C’mon Danno, let’s get this family fed.”