Work Text:
The camera is rolling. Jim swallows as he puts on his most cheerful face, ready to narrate his final story.
"This is the tale of King Always-Right:
King Always-Right ruled the land from the shadows. He was the rightful leader of the world, and held all the power, but he preferred not to be seen. You see, some considered his work to be 'evil,' including King Iceman. King Iceman wanted nothing more than to bring King Always-Right down, but he was nowhere near clever or resourceful enough.
However, King Iceman had a most brave and beautiful knight, Sir Boast-A-Lot. Sir-Boast-A-Lot wasn't the most popular of King Iceman's court, but he got the job done. He was brilliant, and drew much attention from King Always-Right. So King Always-Right would send Sir Boast-A-Lot challenges and muss up King Iceman's palace, just for kicks.
But then one day, King Always-Right grew weary of Sir Boast-A-Lot, and how he'd do anything King Iceman asked. 'He's become somewhat of a nuisance, that goody two-shoes,' thought King Always-Right, 'I suppose it's time to get rid of him.'
So King Always-Right set in motion a plan to destroy Sir Boast-A-Lot: he would tarnish his reputation beyond all recognition, forcing Sir Boast-A-Lot to commit dishonorable suicide, thus removing the pesky knight from King Always-Right's way.
The plan went without a hitch — no one believed Sir Boast-A-Lot's accomplishments anymore, and all the dull, ordinary subjects thought he was a fraud. Sir Boast-A-Lot threw himself off of a building, and King Always-Right escaped to the hills gleefully.
But then a problem occurred: King Always-Right grew bored. Painfully so. He thought of Sir Boast-A-Lot every day, and how he missed watching his silly antics. King Always-Right was loathe to admit it, but he loved Sir Boast-A-Lot.
Without him, his only challenge int he world, his brain rotted, and King Always-Right recoiled into his castle, refusing to talk to any of his own subjects. Of course, he still worked, but would only do the most menial tasks that could be orchestrated by dropping notes from his tallest tower. There was only one person he wanted to see, and he was dead.
Somehow, King Always-Right had woefully underestimated how much he had needed Sir-Boast-A-Lot.
King Always-Right is now King Once-Wrong."
Moriarty finishes up, turning off the recording device. It was surprising that an event with such a huge impact on his life could be boiled down to such simple language.
He'd planned for this to be his "note."
Little did he know, Sherlock had been listening at the door. As it creaked open, Jim is stunned to hear a familiar snarky voice.
"Thankfully, Sir Boast-A-Lot was just as stubborn as King Once-Wrong. See, it turns out that Sir Boast-A-Lot faked his death and waited until the townspeople had seen through King Once-Wrong's ruse, and posthumously lauded him as a hero."
Moriarty turns around slowly, mouth agape, "Sherlock, how — ?" But he's cut off as the detective continued.
"Then, as soon as he returned, Sir Boast-A-Lot rushed to the lonely King Once-Wrong's side, and the two kissed as the sun set. They're sure to live happily ever after."
Jim smiles, as he notices the sun beginning to dip below the horizon, "Far be it from me to ruin a perfectly good story."