Work Text:
It’s.. amusing.
Phineas thought to himself as he gazed upon the applause of the crowd. The excitement was still there. He never grew tired of performing for a show. There was one other thing.
He was growing desperate to prove himself to his fellow circus players as well as to his wife. He had done them a great disservice, being blinded by the light. After the events, he worked hard.
Spreading the name so that they won’t be labeled as mere freaks. Making sure that no one dared to hurt them. All for the name of them who stood by him even as he left them, not looking back. He didn’t deserve them but, they were still here. He had to be deserving of them.
He’d pushed and pushed. Made sure happiness and the bright lights of the circus was all they ever saw. Sent a mail to Jenny to never talk to him again. Dealt with the protesters with the meager free time he had. Everything.
Everything and anything, he’d give all of it to them.
So, why? He mused silently, greeting the others a great night. Giving Lettie a gleeful(is it really) laugh and Phillip a clap in the back before retreating to his office. He locked the door behind him, didn’t manage to reach the seat behind the desk before slamming his hand on it.
His breaths ran ragged. What else could he do for them. Eyes darting wildly at the papers scattered on the desk. Why is it that his heart still can’t let go of his mistakes from the past?
He shut his eyes, trying to will away the tears that started to dot his lashes. It’s okay. He’ll be fine. He’ll prove himself and finally, he can find his place beside them.