Chapter Text
"What am I waiting for?" Hannah asked aloud into the void of an empty dorm room. Diana was out on late evening study session with Akko (that probably wasn't a euphemism), and Barbara was spending time with Lotte, leaving Hannah alone with her thoughts. She certainly needed the time to sort out her feelings.
The conversation at lunch hadn't exactly cleared things up for Hannah. Barbara's ambiguous answers and meaningful glances only confused her more. Faced with no other choice, she matched ambiguity with ambiguity, lest Barbara clue into her hidden feelings.
Hannah's crush on Barbara had emerged weeks ago. Not knowing what to do about it, she hid her feelings to eliminate the possibility of it affecting their friendship. Maybe it hadn't been enough. How else should she interpret Barbara seemingly avoiding her? She wasn't bothered by her best friend spending more time with Lotte, but Barbara had been growing distant lately.
And it hurt.
Hannah ached to be close to Barbara again. Not just for Barbara to come back to their room, but for the two them to return to the way they were before. She could handle not being Barbara's girlfriend, but she couldn't stand the thought of losing her as a friend. As it were, she felt like she was being ripped apart as her other half drifted farther and farther away.
If Barbara pulled away any farther, she wouldn't have anything to lose from confessing her feelings. And Hannah didn't know how to feel about that possibility.
"There's no point in moping here alone," Hannah told the empty room. "I might as well get a shower now."
A few minutes later, Hannah was luxuriating under a jet of hot water in the dorm room's en suite bathroom. Her thoughts inevitably wandered to memories of showering with Barbara. As the water travelled from the back of her neck and down to the base of her spine, Hannah imagined Barbara's hands making the same journey. Barbara hadn't bathed with her in forever, and she missed that intimacy, even if it didn't go any farther.
As she towelled off, she considered her options. She could try to resolve whatever tension was between her and Barbara and hope their friendship would go back to normal, or she could go for broke and confess her feelings.
She wrapped herself in a bathrobe and left the bathroom. "I guess I don't have the luxury of waiting for the right time," she said as she sat down on her bed. She chuckled bitterly. "Maybe I should tell Barbara I like her as soon as she comes back."
Hannah regretted that comment almost immediately; not ten seconds later, Barbara opened the door and came into the room. She opened her mouth, perhaps to say hello, and opened it a little wider when she saw Hannah in her bathrobe. It took all of Hannah's self-restraint not to bite her lip as she watched Barbara's eyes trail down her chest.
"There you are!" Hannah said. "I was beginning to wonder if you and Lotte were going to read those books all night." She hoped her true feelings didn't bleed into her voice.
Barbara sat down on her own bed. "Aw, did you miss me?"
More than you'll ever know, Hannah thought. "You know me. I can't bear to be apart from you." Why even hide it?
Barbara laughed, not quite keeping the nervous edge off her voice.
Was that a little too far? Hannah wondered. "Did you at least have a good time while you were depriving me of your company?" she teased.
"Yeah. We talked about romance and stuff."
Is it too much to hope she was asking Lotte for love advice about me? Hannah thought. "Of course. I know you're a sucker for that kind of mushy stuff. Um, I didn't mean that in a mean way. I only tease you because I love you, you know." She'd said those words to Barbara innumerable times, and the phrase rolled off her tongue as easily as ever. But she hoped her sincerity would reach Barbara this time.
Barbara's smile didn't reach her eyes. "I know. I love you too, Hannah."
I could almost believe that she meant it, Hannah thought. If I were smarter, I'd leave it at that. "Gosh," she said. "When you say it so frankly, it makes my heart flutter."
"D-don't t-tease me," Barbara stuttered. She laid down on her bed, wincing slightly. "My back is bothering me again."
"It's because you were hunched over your books all day," Hannah said. "That's why you're so tense."
"Maybe. I wonder if Diana knows a good spell for that."
An incredibly bad idea occurred to Hannah, but she was feeling reckless. She wanted to reforge their connection, to recapture that intimacy. "No need for that. You know what you need, Babs? A massage."
Barbara's face started giving off steam. "A m-m-massage!? You must be joking!"
"What's wrong?" Hannah asked, smirking slightly. "What's a little massage between best friends?"
She could almost see Barbara's thoughts racing around her head. Did she think Hannah really meant it as a friend? Did she pick up on Hannah's true feelings? Did that bother her, or was she okay with it?
Finally, Barbara came to decision. "Of course," she said slowly and deliberately. "Just something you'd do as a friend."
"Best friends," Hannah corrected. "I wouldn't do this for just any of my friends." Take the hint, Barbara.
"Right." Barbara twitched nervously. "So what should I do?"
"Taking your shirt off would be a good start," Hannah said. She lifted herself off her bed and took a seat on Barbara's.
"Wh-what!?" Barbara almost jumped out of her skin.
"How am I supposed to massage you through your uniform? You need to take your shirt off. That's how the pros do it."
Barbara fumbled with the buttons on her uniform. "If I didn't know you better, I'd accuse you of being a pervert."
"Maybe you don't know me as well as you think," Hannah said with a wink.
Barbara blushed and turned around before resuming taking off her uniform.
"Why are you getting shy?" Hannah teased. "It's nothing I haven't seen before." She almost stopped there, but she figured she should go big or go home. "And I wouldn't mind seeing it again."
"What's gotten into you?" Barbara removed her shirt and lay down on her front.
You have, darling. Before she could question her own urges, she straddled Barbara and laid her hands against her bare skin.
"Is that how the pros do it too?" Barbara squeaked. Her neck was flush with embarrassment, but she didn't struggle.
"Nope. This is a special service, just for you." Hannah's fingers tiptoed up Barbara's back. "The bra has to go too."
"Of course it does," Barbara huffed. As Hannah's fingers brushed her skin, she said, "I can do it myself!" She reached up and unhooked the bra and pushed the straps to the side.
Hannah giggled. She marvelled the sight before her: Barbara's smooth skin, her shoulder blades, the nape of her neck and the inviting curve of her spine. There were so many ways she could fuck this up, but she couldn't back down now.
"I've never done this before," she said as she started massaging Barbara's back. "You're my first," she added playfully.
Barbara laughed. "Well, I trust myself in your capable hands."
"That's exactly what I needed to hear," Hannah said quietly.
Her hands searched for sources of tension, rubbing at the knots in Barbara's muscles. It wasn't long before Barbara gave into the massage and relaxed perhaps too much, letting little gasps and moans escape for each bit of stress released. It was almost more than Hannah could take. She was high on the sensation of her hands against Barbara's skin and eager to make her moan even louder.
She didn't need to worry about that. "Higher," Barbara said breathlessly. Hannah followed her instructions without question. Her hands moved up to Barbara's shoulders and did their magic. For her troubles, she got a moan and Barbara swore under her breath.
Even Hannah was blushing now. That was oddly sexual. "Was that good?"
"It was amazing." Barbara sounded like she'd been well and thoroughly screwed.
"Well, it was my pleasure." Hannah un-straddled Barbara before she did something she regretted in her aroused state.
Barbara purred with satisfaction as she sat up, the pains in her back apparently relieved. She put her uniform's shirt back on, but neglected to button it. "I'm not sure what I did to deserve that... but you should tell me so I can get it again."
"That's what you get for being so distant lately," Hannah said. "I missed quality time with my other half." Was that too bold to admit? At this point, Hannah didn't care.
Barbara turned to face her. Her face was flushed, her hair was in disarray, and she seemed the happiest to see Hannah that she'd been in ages. "In that case, I guess I'd better not leave you alone any longer. Who knows what you might do next time."
Hannah smiled and brushed Barbara's hair from her face with hesitant fingers. It would've been so easy to kiss her. The moment was so, so right for it. But Hannah didn't dare. It could ruin everything. She couldn't even ask. She'd connected with Barbara again, she couldn't get greedy. Even now, hope clouded her mind and she could've sworn she saw lust in Barbara's eyes. She just couldn't trust herself right now.
But that didn't mean she was giving up. She wouldn't be confessing today, but she was done waiting.