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It was late afternoon when they’d finally reemerged from the Happy Fun Ball. After Fjord got everything squared away with repair costs, and Caduceus gave everyone some much needed healing, Jester finally took a breath of relief. Well, sort of relief. Twiggy gave them all a smile as she left the ship and the other crew members went about their business. The weight on Jester’s heart kept getting heavier as she noticed Beau and Nott and Caleb starting to see her expression. Yasha seems to turn as well, oh Traveler no.
“Jester, are you alright?”
“Yeah, of course, I’m fine.” Jester puts on a smile for Beau, but the monk wasn’t convinced.
“You’re a bad liar.” Oh Beau. For all your blunt speech you always manage to hit the nail right on the head.
Jester scoffs. “I’m a really good liar, Beau.” Some of the other members of the group give a small chuckle. That’s good. Jester is here to lighten the mood. Always.
“Sure.” Beau’s expression doesn’t waver. That beautiful, awful, sincere look of concern. Jester is a really good liar, but she’s very bad at hiding from anyone who looks close enough. Jester swallows and flattens out her skirt.
“I’m going to go to my room.” She can’t quite stifle a shudder. “And go to sleep.” And with that, she turns heel and walks back down to her quarters. Technically both her’s and Beau’s, and Yasha’s when she wasn’t out looking at the clouds, so this solution wouldn’t last long. But Traveler be damned if Jester wouldn’t make that time last enough to clean up her emotional state.
Every step as she heads down in the hold feels heavier than the last and by the time she reaches the door to her room there’s a lump in her throat that’s throbbing with pain. She barely closes the door before the tears start flowing against her will, and when she collapses onto her blanket in a sobbing mess.
No matter what she does the image of that dragon looking down at her with malice and death in its eyes is burned into her mind, no amount of shaking her head or burying it in the pillow seems to help. No one was there, she was all alone, facing a terrifying dragon, injured, doomed, almost dead on the spot. Thoughts keep flowing, faster than Jester’s tears and she really hopes that no one is below deck. None of the Nein can see her like this. She’s the light, cheery happiness of the group. She has to be. Everyone else is always so distraught thinking about their past or what’s in store for the future, she needs to be there to help them smile. But all of her scaffolding is tumbling down now, and Jester literally can’t even stand up. So she just stays there, with the occasional sob or sniffle, feeling raw and completely drained.
”Jester? There’s a soft voice at the door,”Can I come in?” Jester almost doesn’t hear it but she immediately shuts her mouth and sits up. Yasha is in the doorway, though Jester’s eyesight is a bit blurry with the tears but she rubs her face quickly to get rid of them. When she looks back, Yasha hasn’t moved, cautious as a stray, with a worried look on her face.
Jester sniffs and tries to smile. “Hello, Yasha. Sure you can come in, is everything okay?”
Yasha takes a small step into the room. “Yes, I’m fine. Are you okay? I thought I heard…” She doesn’t finish the sentence, but the message lingers in the air like smoke.
“Oh,” Jester rubs her eyes again, “yes, I’m okay. I’m just, very exhausted, from this whole ordeal.”
Jester can’t tell if Yasha believes her or not (probably not) but Yasha doesn’t comment. She takes another two steps into the room and hangs her cape off the hammock post.
“I’m sorry if you... wanted to be alone, Jester. It’s just...” Yasha put the words together slowly. “You’ve all been gone for a week. No one knew if you were dead or...” A quiver runs throw the taller woman’a voice as she trails off. Jester can feel the onset of tears in her eyes again. “We were all worried and confused.”
“We were very confused as well.” Jester spoke softly, turning the end of her tail over in her hands. “We landed in a mage’s tower, from the Age of Arcanum, and then we all fell into a dragon’s lair...” The words are slow but Yasha is patient as can be, still standing on the other side of the room.
“It got pretty stressful at the end, I almost thought I wouldn’t—“ The tears started to fall. “Shit, I... I um. I’m sorry. I, um.” Jester rubbed her eyes but the tears wouldn’t stop. “I thought we wouldn’t make it.”
Yasha stood silent, absorbing the words, and nodded.
“It was really scary,” Jester continued. “I didn’t... I... at one point I couldn’t see anyone else and it was just me alone with the dragon.” She sobbed at the of the word, but tried to recover. “N-Nott distracted it so I could leave, but she almost went down in the process!”
“Oh my.” Yasha responds quietly. But the look on her face conveys perfectly what horror words can’t.
“I’m so happy we made it out, but...” The shuddering starts back up and Jester can’t contain the shakes in her shoulders. “I’m sorry... it was just really scary.”
“I see.” Yasha replies, taking a cautious step forward. Jester looks up at her, broad shoulders, defined muscle, and a genuinely pained and worried expression.
“Yasha, do you...” Jester motions to the hammock, “do you want to sit down?”
“Um, sure, Jester.” Yasha leans over and with some adjusting they find a comfortable arrangement side to side. Jester can’t help but lean on the taller woman’s shoulder. There’s something about it that’s keeping her grounded, reminding Jester that she won’t suddenly fall into a pit of fire and brimstone. That doesn’t stop the crying though, and after a while Jester can’t hold it in (what little she did hold back).
“I’msorryYashaI’msorryweleftyoubehindI’msorryI’msorry” Jester goes limp into Yasha’s lap and she moves back at first, before slowly wrapping her arms around her. Jester can barely even register it because the sobs are physically wracking her body. “I’msorryItriedtohellbuttheneveryoneleftmeandthedragonwasgoingtoeatmeand”
“Shh,” Yasha started gently stroking Jester’s shoulders. The cleric sat up some so they could rearrange with Jester basically on Yasha’s lap. “It’s okay now, Jester. You’re safe. I’m here. Everyone is alive and safe.”
Jester finally stops sobbing into Yasha’s collarbone long enough to look up at her, before wrapping her arms around her. Yasha does the same, pulling Jester into a tight hug. Jester can feel the air leaving her lungs but it feels so good, so real. This is real. Jester is here, on the Ball Eater, safe below deck, in the arms of Yasha. She is safe.
Jester hugs back as tight as she can, not much in her weakened state. When she finally relaxes the two of them stay there like that until Jester’s breathing finally calms. Yasha takes a spare path of fabric and wipes Jester’s face before moving her back onto the bedding.
“I’m going to get you some water. Are you going to be okay?”
Jester takes one more big sniff, but smiles. “I think I’m going to be okay. Thank you, Yasha, for being here.”
Yasha smiles and leaves to find the food storage. Jester feels her stomach rumble and quickly adds “If you could find some food too! That might be good.”
She comes back, water-skin in one hand and a hunk of bread in the other, and hands them both to Jester. Amidst more thank yous and reassurances, Yasha drapes her cape over Jester’s shoulders for an extra bit of warmth. When Jester is finished with half meal she sets the skin down and bundles up herself. Yasha stays by the hammock offering a hand whenever Jester needs to ground herself. There isn’t much more conversation but the mood of the room has vastly improved.
Not much later, Jester starts to drift off to sleep, still holding Yasha’s hand.
“Thank you, again.”
“You’re most welcome, Jester. I’m always here if you need me.”
Jester smiles and pulls Yasha’s hand over to kiss the back of her palm. Silent moments pass and sleep eventually finds Jester. She drifts off into a peaceful, dreamless slumber.