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Mummy’s Favorites
“You’re not his type, James.” Q commented, turning to straighten James’ bowtie. “Follow my lead on this one won’t you? Don’t just let it go in one ear and out the other.”
“Follow you’re lead? You know I’m responsible for keeping you alive, don’t you? You’re the young blood around here.”
“Don’t underestimate me, James. I can handle myself.” Q smirked. “Cute though.” He rolled his eyes and began to tie his own bowtie with ease and perfection. He looked good, even James had to admit it. “Follow me and everything will be fine. Trust me.” Q chuckled, slipping a gun into place on his side, covering it in his jacket.
“Can you fire that thing?”
“Better than you can.” Q said in a snarky tone before leading James out of the hotel room.
800Q8
No one was more shocked than James when Q wrapped his arm around his waist, but he smiled down at Q and wrapped his arm around his waist as well, leaning in to press a kiss to Q’s temple. “What are you doing?”
“Getting you in too, honey, what else do you think I’m doing?” He kissed James’ cheek as he spoke. “I’ll do the flirting today.” Q winked before he moved across the room and started chatting with the mark, smiling and flirting away with him.
James watched and his eyes widened a bit when he saw Q’s hand on the mark’s upper thigh, his head tilted to the side, a confident smile on his face. The man leaned forward, closer to Q with a smile and a flush on his cheeks. Q said something and then tilted his head towards James. The man looked over at James and looked him up and down. He looked back at Q and spoke to him. Q pouted and slid his hand indecently high and spoke again. The man nodded after a moment and ran a hand through Q’s hair, trying to straighten the curls. Q lifted a single hand and gestured James to come over.
James walked over and wrapped an arm around his waist. “Hello, my love. I just got us a date.” Q winked before brushing kisses against James’ jaw. “Five minutes. Sync.” James nodded, just enough for Q to notice, smiling at the kiss and pressing a kiss to Q’s cheek. Q stood up and wrapped his arms around James, running his hands up his back. “Would you mind a little fun tonight? For me? Pleeease, James?” Q asked.
“Anything for you, love.”
“You’re such a softy. I love you.” Q grinned and gave him a filthy kiss that James returned with just as much filth and fervor, but inside his mind was reeling. Where in the world had Q learned to act? To kiss? To flirt? He’d convinced a man to join two complete strangers in under three minutes flat. James Bond didn’t even have that much charm in him. Q twisted, one arm around James, the other hand on the man’s leg again. “I’m sure there’s a room somewhere in here that can fit all three of us, right Carson?”
“Yeah, here, I’ll show you.” The man smiled and led James and Q through the crowded room and to a locked door, unlocking it and leading them in, past the guards.
“Are we supposed to be in here?” Q wondered in a small, adorable, whisper.
“You’re with me, baby, don’t worry about it.” The man grinned. James looked around and saw the hallway they would have to go down and squeezed Q’s waist in warning. Q squeezed back. “You two been together for a while?”
“Six years.”
“Did he steal you from the cradle?”
“No, darling, but thank you for that. No…we’re only hear because I just turned thirty-five and James wanted to do something special for me. If you want me to be younger though, I can be.” Q flirted. James couldn’t help but smile at him. James was in awe of his acting and, frankly, overjoyed to know he could act so well. He wasn’t hardly as cold and posh as he had always been at work, he was…frankly captivating.
“You’ve got yourself an amazing man, James.” He commented, going to a door. James glanced at Q, realizing it had almost been five minutes. What was Q planning? The door opened and the man pulled Q and James in. He closed the door and pressed Q against the wall, hard. James nearly pulled his gun, but the man wasn’t attacking him physically, he was attacking him with kisses, holding him against the wall. Q chuckled and kissed up the side of the man’s neck.
“Just give me ten seconds, baby.” Q whispered gently, kissing the man one more time before pushing him back, switching their positions.
“I… I can’t see.”
“Yeah that’s the first to go, four seconds.”
“First to g—?” The man dropped to the floor and Q rolled his eyes.
“Idiot.” Q shook his head.
“You poisoned him?”
“Yeah, pretty much.” Q nodded. “Fifteen more seconds and the cameras are going to go out, get ready to move.” Q commented, drawing his gun, all lights green on it.
“How—I?”
“How what? I’m fucking brilliant, that’s how. Come on, we’ve got to go. Don’t look so surprised.” Q sighed before he looked down at his phone and opened the door. James followed him out into the hallway. They made it down the proper hall and Q grabbed James tightly. “Sh, wait five seconds.” The was a loud bang and the power went out. “Damn I’m good. We have three minutes of darkness, should be enough to kill the bastards, you take the left half, I’ll take the right.”
“Q are you su—?”
“Shut up 007, I’m not a child, let’s go.” Q took off and James had no choice but to go after him. Q broke down the door and instantly flanked right, three bullets flying before James could even manage to get a shot off. James managed to take down his targets and he looked up just in time to see Q’s gun fly out of his hands and a man charge at him with a knife.
“Q!” In a movement too quick to see, the man was disarmed, flipped, and stabbed in the chest, by Q.
“Amateur, never charge like that when you have the upper hand. And you held your knife incorrectly.” Q rolled his eyes. “Keep the exits covered, that was hardly quiet.” Q ordered, going to work on the computer with such a speed James had never seen before.
“Q…how?”
“You really have to ask?” Q snorted. He looked up at James—not quitting his work—and his eyes widened. “You don’t know? James, do you even know who I am?”
“Yes, Q, who apparently can kill very effectively.”
“Oh, honey… I can do so much more than that. We’ll talk later.”
“Good.”
“And done. I’ve done all I needed to. We’ve got to go before the power comes back on.” Q said with a smile before they ran.
800Q8
“Flight is tomorrow morning at 0830.” Q commented as soon as they were within the walls of the hotel room.
“Okay, that’s all well and good, care to explain what—who—I saw back there?”
“List all of the double-o’s that were on the roster before the Skyfall incident.” Q commented.
“I’m 007, Alec’s 006, Johnathan Canton is 008, Ronson was 009—good man, Mandy Price is 005, Ian Carter was 002—asshole, Angela Klayton is 001, Carl Powers was 004, and…Gabriel Shaw was 003.”
“How many of those people did you know?”
“All of them, except for Ange and Gabriel, we never really made it into the same room at once. I heard Gabriel was one of M’s favorites though.” James shrugged. “She always used to threaten to send him out rather than me. Said he’d get the job done without collateral. Alec used to tease that 003 was ‘Mummy’s favorite’ and that I’d get replaced. He said he was a quiet guy, but I never met him. We were never in the same town it seems…”
“I thought you were kidding when you met me that first time. I thought maybe you were just trying to take a few stabs at me because of your wounded pride—no offense, you were a bit wounded then—but I didn’t realize you had no clue who I was. Did you think I just walked in to Q-Branch and got a job? I’m a genius, but they probably would have killed me before hiring me if I’d just admitted that I’d hacked MI6 fifty times. James, I’m 003, that’s why when Q was killed we had a replacement so quickly. I was there and M was at a loss with what to do, so I told her I’d step in. I always was teaching Q new tricks, so she agreed. It was only supposed to be a temporary thing, she always wanted me back in the field, but after a month with me as Q she decided I was an indispensable asset, then Silva happened before I was able to get everything running properly and we weren’t prepared for the attacks and then, well, you know what happened.”
“You were…a double-o?”
“Yes, for eight years.” Q nodded. “They pulled me right out of training for the army, said they had a better way for me to serve my country. It sounded like a better offer. It took me one mission to prove my worth and I was named a double-o.”
“You’re a double-o?”
“That’s what I’ve been telling you.”
“You’re really, a double-o?”
“Yes, James.” Q nodded.
“Why in the hell did they send you with me? It’s obvious you can take care of yourself.”
“My brain’s more valuable though, now…so they wanted it protected, and you’re the best.”
“Not with what I just saw.”
“James, there’s a reason why I volunteered to leave, okay? You’re the best, take it as a compliment and don’t ever tell Alec I said that to you or I’ll be forced to kill you.”
“A day ago I wouldn’t think that possible.”
“And today?”
“I might be a little terrified.”
“I wouldn’t kill my favorite agent.” Q chuckled, packing his bag.
“Why am I you’re favorite?”
“You’re an idiot, don’t you know that?”
“I don’t—”
“Shut up, 007.” Q commented before he pulled James into a kiss.
“Oh…”
“Yes…”oh”.”
“Do I get an exploding pen now?” James smirked.
“Shut up, I could kill you in one move.”
“I’d put up more of a fight than that.”
“You could try.” Q smiled.
“I could just disarm you.”
“Impossible.”
“Not at all.” James smiled, kissing Q again, leaving Q in a complete daze when he pulled away. “See? Disarmed.” It took Q a minute to come back to himself, but when he did he knocked James off of his feet, literally, just to make his point.
James, of course, retaliated by swiping Q's feet out from underneath him. That Q landed on top of James was merely a happy coincidence.