Chapter Text
Hajime was pretty good at noticing when Oikawa wanted something.
After knowing him for their entire lives, the signs were easy to pick up on. Oikawa whined more than usual, pouted harder, and dragged his feet a little. Then, he would glance up at whatever it was that he wanted, should it be a physical thing, and sigh. Should it not be a physical thing, he would just sigh. A lot. All of the time.
Knowing what Oikawa wanted was a different story entirely. Sure, Hajime could notice if he wanted something in a shop but didn’t have the money to pay. He’d stare at it, then count his money, then sigh, then stare at it some more. If he wanted a bite of Hajime’s lunch, he’d stare and sigh, just faintly, until Hajime caved.
But when it was something that Hajime couldn’t necessarily give him, or something that Oikawa couldn’t physically look at, Hajime was helpless. He just knew that his oldest friend wanted something.
Oikawa sighed for the fifth time in the last half hour.
“What the hell is the matter with you?” Hajime grunted, flipping a page in his textbook. The end of the school year was fast approaching, and as third-years, there was a lot to be done before it was over.
He just sighed again.
“Are you kidding me?” He closed the book and dropped it on the bed, turning to face him. “What’s your problem, shithead?”
“It’s February,” Oikawa whined, as though that said everything.
“End of school? Exams? Less volleyball?”
“No~! Iwa-chan, you just don’t get it!”
“How can I get it when you won’t tell me?” he reminded him. “Use your words, Shittykawa.”
“It’s almost Valentine’s Day, Iwa-chan. Not a single confession.”
Hajime did his best not to roll his eyes. “You’re the one who went around announcing that you were not going to get in a relationship at the end of high school. Besides, you’ve accepted maybe two confessions in your whole life. Why’s it matter?”
“Because!” Oikawa rolled onto his back and whimpered. “It’s a day for romance, and no one is even thinking of me! Even if it’s nothing serious! I just want to feel appreciated.”
“I don’t understand.” And he didn’t, because Oikawa was making no sense.
“I mean…I want gifts! Even if there’s no strings attached! Especially if there’s no strings attached!”
“So, why don’t you ask the team to shower you with affection?” Hajime snorted.
“Oh, right, I’m sure that they’d just be dying to do that, Iwa-chan. Get serious!”
“I am serious! Why do you feel the need to indulge this holiday? It’s silly.”
“It is not!”
“There’s more important things going on right now than whether or not some random girls want to give you chocolates next week.”
Hajime picked his textbook back up, flipped to a page, and continued his studying.
Oikawa sighed again. “You just don’t get it, Iwa-chan.”
Hajime drummed his fingers on his desk during the break, unable to shake what Oikawa had said the previous evening. Maybe that was because he just kept sighing and it was so annoying and Hajime wanted to punch someone, but he was going crazy now.
Usually, when Oikawa wanted something, Hajime did what he could to help. Well, not usually. He kind of hated appeasing the big baby like that. But if it was small and wouldn’t stroke his ego, he didn’t mind. It was better than the sighing. After all, Oikawa would then get this little happy smile, and his eyes would soften, and…
Oh, that’s weird, let’s not think about that, he decided, shaking his head.
“You look constipated, Iwaizumi.” A desk slid up against his, and his eyes snapped up. Matsukawa was grinning at him. “Something the matter?”
“No.” Then, a godawful idea came to mind. Oh, I’m not going to do this. Ah, fuck it. “Hey, um…are you…doing anything for Hanamaki…for Valentine’s Day?”
The grin faded into a look of sheer confusion. “I – I’m sorry, am I what?”
“Doing anything for your boyfriend, Issei!” he snapped impatiently.
“Yeah, a strip tease,” Mattsun snorted.
“I’m – I can’t believe it, but – I’m being serious.”
“What makes you think I’m not?” he retorted.
“Ew.”
“You’re asking if I’m getting him flowers and a card and shit, though, right?” Hajime nodded. “Okay, so, why in God’s name do you need to know?”
“I – never mind. Forget I asked.”
“Well…” He reached into his book bag. “I have been working on a card for like a month.”
“That’s…unexpectedly romantic of you,” Hajime admitted, frowning.
He displayed the card proudly once he was sure Hanamaki wasn’t in the room. “Yeah! Well, it was going to take a while to write everything I needed to.”
Disgustingly romantic? That can’t be right. “What’s in the card, Issei?”
“The entire script of the Bee Movie.” He smiled proudly. “Hiro’s gonna love it.”
“That makes a lot more sense.”
“Why are you asking?” Mattsun put the card away, then turned back to Hajime. “Ooh~! I know. Some lucky fella is finally going to be the object of your affections, right?”
“No,” he assured him. “It’s not that. I’m just trying to understand.”
“Look, it’s an overly commercialized holiday with no real significance,” Mattsun explained. “At least, that’s what me and Hiro think.”
“So, why are you celebrating it?”
“Because sometimes, it’s just nice to have an excuse to celebrate being in love. And sometimes, it’s just nice to have someone dote on you for a whole day. It’s not that complicated, Hajime.”
Maybe it wasn’t.
On the thirteenth, Yahaba yelled across the gym, asking Watari to be his “Pal-entine”. Watari grinned and agreed, saying that’s what friends were for.
Pal-entine? What the hell does that even mean?
“Yahaba-kun,” he called, waving the young setter and future captain over. “What the hell is a ‘Pal-entine’?”
“It’s like a Valentine, but instead of romantic, it’s for your friends,” he explained. “I don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend, and Watari doesn’t want one, and we’re best friends, so…friend Valentines?”
“Huh.”
“You looking for a Valentine, senpai?” he chuckled. “I bet that Kyoutani would love if you ask- ow!”
Kyoutani had sent a spike flying right into Yahaba’s back. “Shut up, Yahaba!”
Despite himself, Yahaba flashed a shit-eating grin. That kid became more like Oikawa every day. It was…unsettling.
“Look who’s thinking about Valentine’s Day now, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa sang, walking past. “I thought that there were more important things! That my concerns were stupid!”
“I didn’t – I never said it was stupid. I said I didn’t understand,” he clarified. “That… doesn’t… necessarily… make it stupid. But your head is big enough without someone taking a whole day to dote on you, don’t you think?”
“How can I have a big head when no one dotes on me anymore?” Oikawa wailed.
“You somehow manage it.” But Oikawa had been less condescending than usual. Was it possible that he was starting to get mopey? Ugh, that would be annoying.
“So mean, Iwa-chan! Iwa-chan is mean!”
“Whatever, Shittykawa.”
But now he just started to feel a little guilty. Oikawa was clearly trying to tell him something. After eighteen, almost nineteen, years, Hajime should be able to read him better than this. Of course, no one can understand anything when it’s not being told to them, right?
Oikawa had told him, though. It was just up to him to understand and decide if it was worth doing anything about it.
I can’t believe I’m doing this right now, he thought bitterly as he walked alone to school. He didn’t make it a habit to leave Oikawa to walk by himself, because he knew he’d just get an earful about it. Today, he made an exception. It was, unfortunately, necessary.
I cannot believe I am doing this.
He was among the first people in the building, and he set his bag down at his desk. His stomach was twisted with nerves, which didn’t make sense. It wasn’t something to be nervous about, right? He was only doing this so Oikawa wouldn’t spend the whole day depressed! It was really for Hajime’s own sake. It had nothing to do with Oikawa.
With that, he dropped the anonymous heart-shaped box of chocolates on Oikawa’s desk. Then, he grabbed his bag again and ran to the gym for morning practice. There was no fucking way he would stick around to be found out for this.
Oikawa was going to be appeased, and that was what mattered.
When they got to class, Oikawa gasped so sharply, Hajime was impressed there was any oxygen left in the building.
“Iwa-chan! Look! Someone left me a gift!” He bounded over to his desk excitedly, picking up the box of chocolates and grinning. “To: Oikawa Tooru. With a little heart doodled next to it! Oh, I love it! I wonder who left it for me!”
“Why does it matter?” Hajime asked, the anxiety returning. “Isn’t it just important that someone did it? I thought that was your complaint!”
“I want to thank them, Iwa-chan!”
Hajime was anticipating Oikawa to get annoying, to get all boastful about some secret admirer. That was how Oikawa always was with anonymous gifts. But after a couple months of nothing…it seemed that Oikawa was more flattered than usual. His smile was soft, his eyes watery with emotion, and he kept looking at the chocolates like they were the best thing in the world. On top of that, he was blushing.
Hajime had not anticipated a harmless gift making his oldest friend blush.
“Maybe they’ll give you something else today,” Hajime offered. “And maybe they want to stay anonymous. I mean, it would suck to like someone who publicly announced that they didn’t want to be in any relationships, right? So…just let the stranger dote on you, you big idiot!”
Oikawa sighed, but it was soft. It wasn’t the “I want something” sigh, so much as a “I have something” sigh. It did weird things to Hajime’s chest.
“I guess you’re right…” He sat down, still holding the chocolate box close. “This is the most thoughtful gift anyone’s ever given me. I wish I could give them something back.”
Yeah, Hajime wasn’t going to be able to handle today as well as he’d been hoping.
When the lunch bell rang, Oikawa ran out to use the restroom. This was Hajime’s moment…if he could just be discreet…
“Whatcha doing, Hajime?” Hanamaki asked, tilting his head in confusion. “Why are you putting something on Oikawa’s…?” He gasped. “Oh, my god.”
Hajime dove across the desk and clamped his hand over Hanamaki’s mouth. “Shut up! It’s just so he won’t be annoying all day! If you tell him, I’ll kill you!”
There was no fear in Makki’s eyes, only mischief and laughter. Still, Hajime removed his hand, hoping that Takahiro would keep a secret for once in his stupid life.
“Alright, alright. Have fun with your doting.” He turned and sat on Matsukawa’s lap. “Did you see the card Issei made me?”
“The Bee Movie script? Yep, I saw it,” he grunted, sitting at his own desk. “Why are you two like this?”
“We’re in love, Iwaizumi,” Mattsun replied.
“Isn’t it just the sweetest card?” Makki laughed.
Oikawa returned, and went to grab his lunch from his desk. When he saw the little box sitting there, his eyes widened.
“Iwa-chan! There’s another one! Did you see?! Did you see my admirer?!”
“No,” Hajime replied, and technically it was the truth. He hadn’t seen himself, and he wasn’t an admirer. “What is it?” he prompted.
Hanamaki decided that the only way to keep from laughing was to shove his tongue in Matsukawa’s mouth. Well, there went Hajime’s appetite. Ew.
“Oh my god! It’s an alien pin! I am putting it on my bag right now! No, on my uniform! It’s perfect! I love it! Look at how cute this little alien is, Iwa-chan! It’s perfect!”
“Very nice,” he replied, trying to remain inconspicuous.
“It really is,” Oikawa sighed, that little smile and soft blush from before returning.
Hajime couldn’t explain why, but he was pretty sure that something here wasn’t going according to plan.
“At least your admirer knows that you’re a giant nerd,” he added.
“Iwa-chan! So mean!”
And then Oikawa went back to smiling fondly at the alien pin, finding the best place for it on his bag. It was starting to make Hajime nauseous.
The most horrifying part happened right before practice at the end of the day. It was supposed to be fast, and once Hajime got to the locker room, no one would have to even know. No one was supposed to see.
So, he slipped into the club room and set the stupid roses by Oikawa’s stupid bag and dropped the little card that just said “Tooru” on top. He’d just grabbed some colors at the florist’s, not making much of it:
Three red, three white, three purple, and three peach.
He knew that Oikawa hated getting a bouquet of only one color of flower, because apparently, they all meant something different, and one flower wasn’t enough to convey anything? Whatever. These just looked nice together. Probably. Hopefully. Maybe?
God, he really hoped he didn’t just accidentally tell his best friend that he was in deep, gay love with him. That’d be embarrassing.
“Iwaizumi-senpai?”
He froze, suddenly unable to turn around. Had he been standing there long? Was the whole club there? Was everyone about to find him out?
“It’s just me,” Kyoutani promised. “Um – are – uh?”
“Walk with me!” he hissed, diving across the room and grabbing the younger boy by the shirt, dragging him away from the room at top speed. “Don’t tell anyone what you just saw!”
“I won’t.” There was a beat of silence, but Kyoutani’s curiosity was coming off of him in waves. “It’s just – well – were those for Oikawa-san?”
He tried to ignore the poorly veiled disgust in the spiker’s voice. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because he wouldn’t stop bitching about how nobody loves him,” he explained. “So, I thought if he got some gifts today…maybe he’d shut the fuck up about it?”
“Oh.” More silence, then, “Someone gave me flowers too. I don’t know who, or why the fuck?”
Hajime snorted. “Maybe it was a pretty girl.”
“I hope not,” Kyoutani replied, almost instantly. Then, he scowled and turned away. “Forget that I said that, please, Iwaizumi-san.”
“It’s forgotten,” he assured his kouhai.
“I’m gay,” the spiker mumbled, turning to the locker room. “So, if it was a girl – and I don’t know why the fuck a girl would give me flowers – that would just be…unfortunate.”
Hajime nodded, understanding. “I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to.”
He shrugged. “It’s…whatever. Anyways, I thought maybe-?”
“I am,” Hajime whispered. “Not for that moron, though.”
“Good.” Kyoutani huffed what Hajime recognized to be a laugh. “I would think you’d have better taste than that.”
“Yeah,” he laughed, but something inside him was bugged by it. Sure, he talked shit about Oikawa all the time, but someone else doing it…was different. “Maybe it was a pretty guy.”
“Eh?”
“The flowers, Kyoutani-kun.”
“Oh. Ha. Maybe.”
“Oh my goodness, Iwa-chan! Look! Look at the flowers! Iwa-chan!” Oikawa ran up to him before starting the meeting. “Look! Red, white, purple, peach! Do you know what this means?” He was vibrating with excitement. “Oh, poor soul! I have to know who they are! I have to accept this confession!”
“C-confession?” Hajime gasped while Kyoutani started choking on his water.
“Yes, Iwa-chan! Don’t you know anything?” When Hajime didn’t reply, Oikawa sighed. “Red roses: romantic love, longing, desire. White: true love. Purple: love at first sight, irresistible. Peach: desire, appreciation, excitement.”
The more Oikawa spoke, the more blood drained out of Hajime’s face. He just thought the colors looked nice together. Obviously, he wanted to tell this to Oikawa, but how could he without giving it away? Well…
“Not everyone is a massive nerd about flowers, you dumbass! Stupid! Shittykawa!”
Ah, yes. There you go, Hajime. That’s very subtle and not obvious at all.
“You’re just jealous because it’s another year, and I’m the only one between us getting all this attention!”
“Unlike you, I don’t need the attention!”
“Everyone likes to be doted on, Iwa-chan!”
He balled up his fists. “Start the damn meeting, Trashykawa!”
“Iwa-chan is mean!”
He did his best to ignore Kyoutani’s look of confusion and the meme teams’ poorly hidden snorts.
As he walked Oikawa home, he wondered if this had gotten out of hand. He had really only meant to give him chocolates, but once he’d started…he found that he wanted to get more things for him.
That was stupid, right? Wanting to dote on that egotistical moron, as if his head weren’t big enough?
The worst part was that Oikawa was now certain that whoever gave him these gifts was his soulmate, which was counterproductive. He just didn’t want him to mope or be sad or keep whining about this.
But did that stop him from slipping the final gift in Oikawa’s bag before they left school? No. Of course not. Because for some disgusting reason, he liked how happy it was making Oikawa. It wasn’t like when other people’s gifts made him happy.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh no.
This was decidedly bad.
“I really hope they get the nerve to confess,” Oikawa sighed before they parted ways, smiling at his roses. “If they’re this thoughtful and doting…I want to dote on them, too! Make them happy like this.”
“You only like them because they gave you stuff,” Hajime huffed.
“I don’t think so, Iwa-chan. I think their choices in gifts say a lot about them! Firstly, they know me personally, because not just anyone knows I love aliens,” he began, gesturing to the pin.
Great, he’s been analyzing it.
“Secondly, they care about me and knew I was sad about not getting confessions. They’ve probably liked me for quite some time and decided that they could respect me by staying anonymous, but still save me from a day of sadness with these gifts!”
Hajime just scoffed.
“Thirdly, I think they’re a very kind, gentle, caring person. Someone I want to take care of myself!”
“You sound like you want to marry this person, Shittykawa. You don’t even know who it was. It could’ve been the chuckle fucks playing a joke on you, for all you know.”
“Makki and Mattsun would never be so cruel, Iwa-chan.” He shook his head, fluffy hair swooshing like a shampoo commercial. “No, whoever did this was being genuine.”
“How do you know?”
“All these gifts were arranged so carefully. Not in a sneaky way, but like…lovingly.”
His heart was pounding so violently, he was pretty sure Oikawa could hear it. “Whatever. It’s cold. I’m going inside.”
“I’m coming!”
“Don’t you want to go home?”
“I’m not spending Valentine’s Day alone, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa gasped, as though offended he’d even suggest it.
“Whatever. I’m not gonna dote on you, though, you piece of trash, so don’t expect it!” He was really hoping Oikawa would break routine and not come to his house. He was starting to get too confused.
“Wait!” After they’d finished their homework, Oikawa shot up from the bed. “Iwa-chan, we have to go to my house right now!”
“Okay?” Hajime put his work away before following Oikawa next door. “What is this about?”
“I got you something! I forgot, but then I was hungry, so I remembered!” Oikawa opened the fridge. “Here!”
Agedashi tofu. His favorite. “O-oh. Uh, thanks.” Usually, Oikawa only did this on his birthday. Sometimes for Christmas. This was very different.
“And I planned a movie night!”
“I’m not watching your shitty alien mo-” Hajime was interrupted by Oikawa sliding back into the kitchen, holding Godzilla in his hands. “What?”
“We always watch my favorites. I thought – well – maybe you wanted – I mean – I don’t know! I’m just being a nice person, Iwa-chan!”
He bit down on his upper lip until he tasted blood. This was definitely not good. Oh no.
“Thanks. I thought you hated those movies?”
“I do, but you don’t!”
“Why don’t we watch something we can both enjoy, then?” he suggested, feeling uncomfortable when the attention had shifted onto him. Had they entered this “pal-entine” thing that Watari and Yahaba were doing? Did Oikawa forget to tell him that?
Oikawa was the most perceptive person Hajime knew, for all his flaws, so he always knew when Hajime wanted, needed, or felt something. He didn’t always know what, but he knew something was going on.
So, it didn’t surprise him that Oikawa smiled a genuine smile, with no ulterior motives. “We’re gonna watch your favorite, Iwa-chan. Let me dote on you.”
Let me dote on you. Hajime went rigid, but he couldn’t reply without giving it away. “Okay. Fine. Whatever. But you’re not allowed to complain while we watch it!”
“I wouldn’t dream of it, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa promised, his shittiness returning to his smile.
“Good.” He pushed past him and sat down on the couch. The less he thought about this, the better.
Then, the tiny gasp happened for the fourth time that day. “They put something in my bag, Iwa-chan!”
“Hmm.” He tried not to react or seem interested. He was tired of hearing about the gifts, even if he was the one giving them.
“It’s just a card, but…”
Hajime looked up, and Oikawa was tearing up. Dramatic. “What?”
“It says the sweetest things, Iwa-chan. I’m going to marry whoever wrote this.”
He tried to remember what he wrote. “Can – can I see?”
“Yeah!” Oikawa seemed surprised that Hajime was interested, but he handed it over happily.
It was a short card. It was barely even nice. All it said… well.
Tooru,
Happy Valentine’s Day. I hope you know that people only stopped confessing because you asked them to. You’re just as popular and pretty as you’ve always been.
-Secret Admirer
“It’s not that deep,” he grunted, handing it back.
“It is so! It shows that they’re observant enough to notice my insecurities!”
“Sounds like a stalker.” He readjusted on the couch, starting to eat the Agedashi tofu.
Oikawa pouted, but he sat down and dug into his own food as well.
It was only half an hour into the movie before Oikawa started to get noticeably bored. He was fidgeting, and he looked like he wanted nothing more than to pull out his phone and tune it out. Hajime felt guilty before remembering that this was Oikawa’s idea, not his.
Well, he thought that was why Oikawa was fidgeting, anyways.
That was before he moved a little closer on the couch. Then, closer. Closer. And flop. Right into Hajime’s lap.
Hajime froze. What was he supposed to do? Just sit there? Pet his head? Pretend it didn’t happen?
Oh, this is not good…
“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whined.
“Don’t complain about the movie,” Hajime snapped. “You picked it.”
“I’m not gonna complain, Iwa-chan!”
“Then, what? I like this part.”
“You like all the parts.”
“What do you want?”
“Cuddle me.”
“Huh?!” He almost jumped up off the couch.
“Please?” It was such a soft request, and Oikawa was being oddly vulnerable.
He went through the options in his head, trying to think what would yield the least annoying response from Oikawa.
He could say no and shove him on the floor. That would be normal, and Oikawa would pout. But he risked starting a fight by doing that, and he didn’t know if the fight would be real after that day.
He could say no and leave Oikawa on his lap. Maybe pet his hair as a compromise? Oikawa might pout, but it at least didn’t risk a fight. Still…he felt weird about it.
He could say yes, but then he’d have to cuddle Oikawa. After the events of the day, the idea of doing that made his stomach twist. It just didn’t seem like the right approach.
He decided all his options were annoying, Oikawa was annoying, and Valentine’s Day was annoying. Hajime said nothing, only shifted to cuddle Oikawa.
He didn’t think about how his friend shifted against him, tucking his head under his chin. He didn’t think about how stupidly fluffy Oikawa’s hair was, and how it was tickling his nose. He didn’t think about the fact that he had an arm around Oikawa’s waist, or the muscle that was underneath. He definitely didn’t think about how Oikawa wouldn’t stop fucking wiggling–
“Would you stay still?” he hissed.
“I’m getting comfy,” Oikawa whined. Then, “Hey, Iwa-chan, would you rather be the little spoon? I feel like I’m in your way of seeing the movie?”
His face felt hot. “Do I want to be what?”
“You know. You wanna lay in front? I’ll cuddle you?”
He gritted his teeth, reevaluating his choices. “Why?”
“Let me dote on you,” was all Oikawa said in response.
So, he did.
Oikawa was a lot less awkward to hold him than vice versa, but that was probably just because he was a more affectionate person with literally everyone. Hajime tried not to make too much of the way Oikawa’s legs tangled with his, or the fingers tracing up and down his arm. He ignored that Oikawa would sometimes hold his hand or stray to his torso and splay a hand over his stomach like he was trying to feel Hajime’s abs.
He was absolutely ignoring all of this.
Hajime honestly didn’t even notice the occasional nuzzle to his hair or gentle kiss on his shoulder. None of that even happened. Nope. Not at all.
“Why?” Hajime begged as Oikawa poured him a cup of tea. “Why are you suddenly acting like my mom or some shit? Trying to take care of me?”
“It’s supposed to go both ways on Valentine’s Day, you big idiot.” Oikawa frowned, concentrating harder on the tea.
“Eh?”
“You really…it was really nice of you, Iwa-chan.” He squeezed his eyes shut, but a tear rolled down his cheek. “Thank you for today.”
“I don’t know what you’re on about.” And he didn’t, because Oikawa was leaving out key pieces of information, and Hajime wasn’t a mind reader.
“The gifts.” His voice was impossibly soft. “Thank you.”
Hajime clenched his jaw. “I – well – you were sad.” That wasn’t what he was telling himself. It was supposed to be “I didn’t want you to be annoying” or literally anything but what he’d just said loud.
Oikawa nodded. “This was better than any of the things I got before.”
“Why? You know I did it.”
“I know.”
“So, why?”
“It was really thoughtful, Hajime. I didn’t know you had a romantic bone in your body.”
“I don’t!”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Oikawa handed him the tea. “Well, it goes both ways. If you were going to leave me little gifts and dote on me all day, I had to do something for you too. Besides…”
“What?”
“I’d wanted to spend the day with you anyhow.”
Hajime felt his heart stop altogether. “What?”
“I – nothing. Never mind.”
“I’m not a mind reader.”
“I know.”
“Tooru.” He stepped forward. “I – um – thanks.”
“Yeah.”
“Happy Valentine’s Day.”
“Thank you, Iwa-chan.”
As a last-minute decision, Hajime gave Oikawa one more gift for the day. He grabbed his shoulders, looking up a little to see his eyes. Then, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss into Oikawa’s cheek.
“I should go home,” he announced.
“Okay.” Oikawa’s eyes were wide, cheeks red.
“Goodnight.”
“G-goodnight, Iwa-chan.”