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Once the cabin was in sight, Killua started running.
“Gon!” he yelled. His voice echoed off the trees, crashing back down on his ears. Dead limbs and shadows passed him by as he sprinted through the rotting forest that had become so familiar to them the past three months.
Familiarity wasn’t a luxury Killua had grown up with. Nor was safety, nor love. These were all things he had learned with time, because someone had been patient enough to teach him. And it was because of that someone Killua was so scared.
“Gon!” He was louder this time, with a little more desperation. But still, there was no response as Killua reached their cabin’s front stoop.
Killua stood frozen for a few seconds, blood roaring in his ears and his chest heaving. He tried his best not to picture what he was most fearing—Illumi standing over Gon’s headless corpse, his brother’s black and lifeless eyes empty as he turned his gaze on Killua—
No.
Killua grit his teeth. Focus, Gon had to be here somewhere. He wouldn’t leave without Killua, no matter what. so that meant Killua just had to find him.
“...llua?”
The faint call was just loud enough to reach Killua’s ears. His head snapped up, breath lodging in his throat, and then he was sprinting. His heart galloped as Killua raced around the cabin and off towards the sound of faintly crashing waves.
When Killua burst out of the forest and onto the small opening overlooking a cliff, the first thing he saw was Gon—Gon in his full form, kneeling down in a bed of brown dirt, his spikes swaying in the ocean breeze. Not headless, not bleeding, not dying at Illumi’s hand.
Killua sagged against a tree. Thank god. Gon was okay.
“Killua?” Gon asked, golden-red eyes wide. He quickly moved to stand. “What’s wrong, are you okay?”
“Didn’t—” Killua began, breathless from panic and running, “—d-didn’t you hear me? I’ve been calling your name for the last five minutes!”
“Yeah?” Gon slowly approached Killua, almost as if he was worried about scaring him off. “That’s why I called your name back. Are you okay?”
Killua swallowed thickly. Was he okay? Physically, yes. Mentally...maybe not so much.
All he said to Gon was, “We need to go.”
Gone frown deepened. There was a smudge of dirt under his chin and Killua had to clench his hands to keep himself from reaching out to wipe it off. How long had Gon been out here, working in the garden? What might have happened if Killua hadn’t rushed back as fast as he had?
Gon said, “Killua, you’re not making any sense. Where do we have to go? We just ate—”
“That’s not what I meant,” Killua snapped and Gon’s mouth shut with a click. The concerned look on his face grew more intense and he stared at Killua with a furrowed brow and pursed lips.
Killua immediately felt guilty. “Sorry. I—I didn’t mean to yell at you.”
“It’s okay.” Gon took another step closer, close enough that Killua could grab his hand. If Killua wanted. “But, Killua, you haven’t answered me. What’s wrong?”
Gon reached out. Killua stiffened as warm fingers brushed the shell of his ears. Gon gently tucked a stray silver strand of hair behind Killua’s ear, the worry on his face melting into something softer, kinder, and Killua’s heart throbbed in kind.
Gon was too good to be his. And that was why he had to protect him.
“When I was in the village…” Killua swallowed thickly, panic crawling up his throat once more. “I heard some people talking.”
“Talking about what?”
Killua locked eyes with Gon, blue clashing with gold. “About funding for a Hunter.”
That finally seemed to get to Gon. He blinked rapidly, mouth falling open in an ‘o’. “Really? Well, I mean, I guess if they all pull money they could get someone to come here…”
Killua blinked. He hadn’t expected that kind of response. “Wh-What?”
Gon, though frowning, didn’t look overly concerned. He wasn’t panicking like Killua, nor running back to the cabin to start packing. He just continued in that same thoughtful tone, “I mean, everyone here is pretty poor. Even our cabin was abandoned before we found it! I don’t think the villagers would be able to pull together the funds for a real Monster Slayer like your family.”
Killua gaped at his partner. “Gon, that’s—that’s not the point! They found a body completely drained of blood, washed on shore!”
Gon grimaced. “Oh no...I thought we had pushed the last body far enough away—”
“Well clearly we didn’t.” Killua moved away from Gon to stride across the small opening. The wind grew stronger as he neared the edge of the cliff, air ripping at his hair and making his coat flap around his shins. Waves crashed against the rock and clouds rolled over their heads. There would be a storm soon.
“Killua?”
The ex-Monster Slayer didn’t turn. He continued to stare out at the grey horizon, a deep pang in his chest. They’d been happy here. In the past three months Killua had built a small collection of precious memories—collecting shells with Gon along the shore, patching up the holes in the cabin walls, buying blankets and talking with villagers. Every moment had been something out of a sacred oasis.
But that was all over now. They’d have to leave first thing tomorrow, if not tonight.
A warm hand grazed his own. Killua didn’t move when Gon laced their fingers together, holding on tight.
“I know that look on your face,” Gon said and Killua scowled.
“What look?”
“That look. The intense one when you get all quiet and closed off and your eyes go cold.”
“That’s my usual expression,” Killua said, exasperated.
“Not around me, it’s not.”
Killua didn’t have a retort to that. Gon sighed, the sound barely heard over the thunderous roar of the ocean in front of them.
“Killua, it’ll be fine.” He squeezed their fingers. “Even the most trained Slayers can’t find us. What can one do?”
Gon...Gon doesn’t get it, Killua realized suddenly, a cold feeling settling in his gut. Gon wasn’t coming to the same conclusion as Killua, that they needed to run and get away before rumors spread. Gon thought the villagers wouldn’t have enough money to hire a Slayer that could hurt them.
But that didn’t matter . Rumors about bloodless bodies would spread around the Slayer community, and his brother would come in a heartbeat. It was only a matter of time.
“Gon,” he said as carefully as he could. “We...We can’t stay here.”
“Huh? What are you talking about?” Gon asked, sounding confused. “We’ve stayed here for three months without a problem! The island is too small to draw any real attention.”
“Under normal circumstances I would agree with you, but you can’t assume this won’t get back to Illumi. He’s bound to be listening for just this sort of thing. It won’t take him long to get here.”
“But we—we can’t just go.” Gon had paled, distraught filtering into his golden irises. Killua inwardly cursed. Gon was going to fight him, and Killua was going to have to fight back. He only hoped Gon wouldn’t hate him too much after they were done.
“We can and we must,” Killua said and finally turned to look at Gon directly. His partner’s eyes were a brilliant gold, the brightest and most colorful thing here.
Killua forced himself to focus. “Listen, it’s only a matter of time until we’re found. The bodies are plenty evidence that there’s a vampire in the area, and other, better Slayers will come soon—”
“Then we fight them!” Gon snapped. “We’re stronger than other vampires, and if we can escape Illumi, we can take on anyone else!” His grip had tightened on Killua’s hand, as if he thought he could win Killua over with his strength alone. Which was wrong .
Killua grit his teeth. He could feel his fangs sharpening in response to his own adrenaline and stress, his body preparing for a fight. “We can take on one Slayer, sure. But what if they buy three? We can’t go up against something like that, and even if we do, Illumi will show up next! If he catches up to us here we won’t have anywhere to go. It’ll be over.”
Gon was scowling in turn now. There was a dark look lingering in the shadows of his eyes, but Killua had to keep pushing. He snapped, “You know I’m right, Gon!”
“Maybe you’re not right,” Gon snarled back. “Ever think of that?”
Killua recoiled minutely. Gon never talked like that, especially to him. But he was over his shock a second later, yanking his hand out of Gon’s roughly and biting out, “ No , because when it comes to Monster Slayers, it’s kind of obvious who the expert is here! Why should we do what you think—you were the one who got caught in the first place!”
Gon’s eyes narrowed. “We’ve both gotten caught, Killua.”
“Yeah, but you got caught by Piggy. He’s hardly a high class Monster Slayer. I got caught by my brother and Hisoka; I know what they think like and they will come. I’m sorry but this is one case where you can’t just be optimistic and hope for the best outcome—”
“What’s so wrong about being optimistic! Or wanting to stay in the first home we’ve ever shared together!” Gon yelled, throwing his hands up in the air. Killua caught sight of a looping scar on the skin of his wrist between his jacket and glove, and something sharp stabbed at his heart.
Gon wore Killua’s own name on that wrist. And Killua wore his. They were promised to each other, married in the only way vampires knew how. Killua cherished Gon’s name on his wrist more than anything—cherished Gon more than anything.
Killua couldn’t risk Gon getting hurt. He wouldn’t. He would pay whatever price necessary to keep him alive, even if it meant Killua had to leave Gon behind to do just that.
He would lead Illumi and Hisoka on a wild goose chase. He would distract them from Gon, distance them, and then Gon could keep this home and their priceless memories. Killua could come back whenever he managed to shake their attackers off.
Killua took a deep breath to steal himself. He couldn’t crack from this. He was doing this for Gon.
“What?” Gon suddenly looked on edge, his shoulders jumping up to touch his ears. “Why are you looking at me like that? What are you thinking—”
Killua began in the most soothing tone possible, “Gon, just listen.”
Gon actually hissed at him, baring his fangs at Killua and glaring with gold eyes full of fire. “If you suggest something stupid like I stay here and you go off on your own—”
“It’s not stupid!”
“Yes, it is!” Gon snarled. He looked more furious than Killua could remember seeing in a long time. Like he was ready to fight Killua for even mentioning they separate. “You—You think I’m just going to abandon you! That I’ll just let you sacrifice your life so I can stay here, alone and without you?! You know me better than that!”
Killua bristled. “I do know you, and you always say what you’re thinking! And you literally just said you wanted to stay here—”
“I want to stay with you, Killua!” Gon cried out and stomped his foot down into the dirt. Killua jumped, shocked at the intensity of Gon’s response. “You—We—We’re bound . I’m not going anywhere without you! Why don’t you get that, after all this time we’ve been together?”
Killua sputtered. A hot flush crept its way up the back of his neck and was spreading to his ears. Gon’s loud declaration had caught him off guard, and he didn’t know how to respond. “B-But you, you said—”
“Killua.”
Two warm, broad hands clapped over Killua’s cheeks. Gon held onto his face tightly, forcing Killua to look into his eyes. Killua’s heart stuttered helplessly as he gazed into gold irises...
“I will never leave you,” Gon said slowly, purposefully, unblinking and unwavering. “Never. Okay? If—If I have to give this place up to be with you...you’re all that matters to me. This cabin is just a shack without you. It’s not home.”
Killua’s eyes prickled. “You mean that?” he croaked out, throat growing tight.
The intensity in Gon’s gaze softened. “Of course. You know I don’t lie.”
Killua swallowed thickly. His heart was quivering in his chest. He didn’t know how to tell Gon how much that confirmation meant to him, so he simply grabbed the front of Gon’s jacket and yanked him forward into a hug.
Gon grunted at the sudden rough movement. But he moved automatically to wrap his arms around Killua’s middle, like they weren’t in the middle of a fight, like Killua was the only thing that mattered. Killua felt Gon bury his face into Killua’s hair, and inhale deeply. Killua’s face burned in a heated blush and twisted his hands into fists against a Gon’s back. Gon was embarrassing even when they were just hugging.
But he wouldn’t have it any other way. Gon was his, and he was Gon’s. They belonged together until the end of time and Killua couldn’t imagine spending a minute of his life without Gon now that they had met and fought and loved. Killua was willing to sacrifice all that just to keep Gon safe, but...he was secretly relieved that Gon didn’t feel the same way.
“I’m sorry for yelling,” he whispered and Gon hummed, tightening his arms around Killua minutely.
“Me, too. I just...I don’t want to go. I love it here.”
“I do, too,” Killua confessed and pulled back to look Gon in the eyes. “But you know what I’m saying is right, don’t you? We can’t risk Illumi finding us here.”
Gon’s brow furrowed. “Are you sure there’s no other way?” he asked, tone pleading and expression hopeful. Killua’s heart twisted. He didn’t want to break that beautiful hope. But reality was harsh and cruel, and they had to acknowledge it if they were going to survive.
So Killua said gently, “None that I can think of.”
Gon’s expression shattered. He dropped his arms from around Killua, swallowing thickly. For a moment Killua almost thought he might cry.
But then Gon turned away, looking out towards the rough waves and hiding his face from Killua’s gaze. The two vampires stood there in silence for a few seconds with nothing but the sound of the roaring waves filling the space between them.
It broke Killua’s heart to see Gon so upset. Really, it did. He would give Gon the world if he asked. But if they didn’t leave, Gon wouldn’t have the world at all.
“We’ll find another home soon, I promise,” Killua said finally. When Gon didn’t say anything, Killua sighed. Gon being mad at him was understandable. He wouldn’t get over this for a long time, Killua was sure.
Killua took a step back, towards the woods and their hidden cabin. “I’m...gonna start packing, okay? We can only take what we can carry, so. We have to do an inventory check.”
Gon nodded. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
Killua grimaced at Gon’s empty tone. “Okay. Don’t take too long, though. The sooner we leave the better.”
“Right.”
Killua couldn’t think of anything else to say. He wouldn’t be able to make Gon feel better, that was sure. So he turned on his heel and walked across the clearing back to the shadows of the woods. When he reached the edge of the forest, he looked back.
Gon was kneeling down in their dirt garden again, just like he had when Killua first came into the clearing. He was carefully touching a new plant that had burst through the hard soil, stroking its leaf with a gentleness that Killua could see even from here.
Killua swallowed thickly and disappeared into the woods. Their time of daydreaming was over. There was work to be done.