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Lance is tapping his foot and staring at the big purple bastard being hauled in. He doesn’t trust that shiny-haired Prince Perfect hair any further than he can throw him. But that’s not what really has him on edge. Kolivan is there as well but he keeps making these shifty eyes as if he’s waiting for something, or maybe someone. Matt is also there and he seems more fidgety than normal. It’s so bad even Pidge keeps giving him these strange looks as if she’s trying to figure out what’s wrong with her brother.
Lance watches as Allura and Shiro stuff Prince Perfect hair in a holding cell and he relaxes just a tiny bit. Something still isn’t right and he’s mentally going through the past couple of hours over and over trying to figure out what has him feeling so off. So much of what happened was a blur as they tried to get out of range before Naxzela detonated. Lance is trying not to pace but he’s getting restless. It’s there, whatever it is it’s just beyond his reach but he knows it’s there.
He remembers hearing the screams as half of the freedom fighters were wiped out, he remembers hearing Matt saying they couldn’t take down the cannon, Keith telling Coran to stay put, the cannon going offline, Shiro telling Keith good job, Keith saying it wasn’t him.
It wasn’t him.
Keith’s voice, shaky and full of disbelief, a hint of relief or some other underlying emotion.
It wasn’t him.
Lance looks around and Kolivan is still making shifty eyes towards the door. Matt is still fidgety, Matt screaming at Keith, Keith’s shaky voice saying it wasn’t him.
It wasn’t him.
Lance doesn’t look back when Hunk asks him where he’s going. He doesn’t stop when Shiro asks him if something is wrong. He swears Kolivan and Matt both let out simultaneous breaths of relief when he takes off running towards the hangers.
He climbs in the small Galra ship and makes his way into the cockpit unsure of what he’ll find. Keith is there, still in the pilot seat gripping the controls and eyes squeezed shut. He makes sure to make enough noise so Keith can gather himself before Lance confronts him. Keith doesn’t give any indication that he’s noticed Lance at all.
“Hey buddy, we’ve been wondering where you were. You ok in here?”
There’s no response. Keith’s shoulders are tense and his knuckles are white from gripping the controls so tight. Lance kneels on the side of Keith’s chair but he doesn’t touch him, “Keith, hey I need to know if you’re ok. Can you open your eyes and look at me?”
Again Keith doesn’t respond but Lance notices this time a distinct tremor in Keith’s arms and shoulders. He bites his bottom lip and it starts to bleed.
Lance shifts slightly but talks Keith through everything, “Hey, I’m gonna move your hands from the controls ok?”
Lance places a hand on Keith’s and waits for any adverse reaction. There’s nothing. Keith doesn’t even fight him, it’s like Keith has mentally checked out and if Lance is putting the pieces together correctly he may very well have. He’s managed to remove Keith’s hands from the controls and he’s rubbing them to carefully work out the tightness that’s sure to have set in. Lance keeps up a steady stream of talk, mostly nonsense, and he slowly turns the pilot chair facing him. Keith’s eyes are still shut but his lips are moving as if he’s talking to himself. Lance thinks it’s a start. He’s not sure what to do now. He needs to get Keith out of the ship and somewhere more comfortable, but away from the rest of the team at least for now. He’s pretty sure Keith wouldn’t want everyone else to see him like this except maybe Shiro. Lance frowns as he thinks about Shiro; then again maybe Keith wouldn’t want Shiro around just yet either. He probably doesn’t want Lance around but that’s neither here nor there at the moment.
Lance continues to rub Keith’s hands gently and he’s finally out of things to talk about. He’s sitting cross legged on the floor in front of Keith and he’s worried at the tremble in Keith’s hands. Keith is still unresponsive so Lance starts humming softly. After several minutes it’s as if something snaps in Keith. He grips Lance’s hands so tight he’s sure they’re going to be broken, but he doesn’t flinch or jerk away from Keith. Keith opens his eyes with a gasp and his eyes are darting around looking but not really seeing. He focuses and his breath is raspy, “Lance!”
Lance shifts onto his knees, “Hey, I’m here. Look at me Keith, look at me. Focus on me ok buddy?”
Keith’s breathing is erratic and he’s still looking for all the world like he’s not sure of where he is but he doesn’t let go of Lance. After several minutes he slumps forward into Lance’s chest. His voice is barely there and it’s wobbly as if speaking takes a great deal of effort which at this point it probably does, “I didn’t want to die. I didn’t….I don’t want to….I didn’t want to lose any of you.”
And Lance feels the moment Keith completely loses his composure. His shoulders shake and he’s taking great big heaving breaths and he just lets out sob after sob but he refuses to let Lance go. It’s as if Lance is his one last life-line and if he lets go he’s never going to come back. Lance wraps his arms around Keith, he cards slim fingers through shaggy black hair, he murmurs nonsense reassurances, and hums softly until Keith is finally calm. Without a word, Lance stands up and hefts Keith to his feet. He wobbles slightly so Lance just puts an arm around his waist and leads him through several empty hallways. He presses a hand to a panel and a door opens and Lance is pulling Keith into his room. He rummages through a drawer and hands Keith some clothes and pushes him into the bathroom. While Keith is changing, Lance changes out of his armor into sweats and a t-shirt. When Keith comes out, he’s wearing Lance’s clothes and they’re a bit big on him but he doesn’t complain. Lance isn’t sure what to do with a Keith who looks so lost and unsure of himself so he does the only thing he knows how to do, he walks up to Keith and wraps him in a hug once again. He’s shocked but pleasantly surprised when Keith slumps bonelessly into Lance’s arms. He’s clutching the fabric of Lance’s shirt and his body is shaking again. Lance moves him to sit on the bed and Keith lets out what can only be considered a pitiful whine. Lance just shushes him and continues to hold him until his body stops shaking.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry….I…I don’t know what my problem is.”
Lance pushes a lock of hair from Keith’s face, “Hey, it’s ok. I’m not going anywhere ok? You’re ok. You’re safe here.”
Keith just nods. He’s still clutching at Lance’s shirt as if his life depends on it. Lance finally adjusts them so that he’s leaning against the headboard and Keith is settled against his side, his head resting on Lance’s chest.
Keith finally falls asleep and Lance just stays there, contemplating what Keith felt that made him think his life was less than anyone elses. But Lance remembers what he said, ‘I didn’t want to lose any of you’. And that, Lance can understand that because he would rather die a thousand deaths than bear the thought of losing any one of his new found family out here in space. He knows Keith lost Shiro twice, he knows Keith lost his dad and doesn’t remember a mom who left him, so he shifts and pulls Keith a bit tighter in his arms and presses soft kisses to the crown of his head. He doesn’t know what the future is going to hold for any of them but he’s gonna make damn sure Keith never loses anyone else ever again.