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Chapter Text

Gaius saw Arthur leave, closing the door behind him. Gaius heaved a great sigh trying to keep his shame and misery from leaking through his ever present physician's facade. He looked at his trashed chamber. It's mess reflecting accurately to the one in his mind. His own appearance wasn't any better. His hair was fuzzy and wild, his face was covered in dirt and sweat and he was exhausted. It had been an intense few days as not only he was betrayed yet again by his king, albeit a different king, but he also let Merlin, who he thought as his own son, down by spilling his greatest secret to his arch nemesis, Morgana.

Gaius's misery and regret didn't let out as Merlin didn't came back with them and he still hasn't  shown up. Dreadful thoughts of losing Merlin swam in his head as he assessed the damaged done to his chamber. Potion bottles, pots and glass tubes lay broken on the floor. Various potions spilled from the broken bottles all over the room table and floor. Gaius took a deep breath, picked the broom and started sweeping when he heard hurried footsteps and somebody enter through the door. Gaius immediately perked up as he recognized the figure on the doorway. His eyes instantly filled with tears and he uttered a single word with a huge smile dripping with relief.

"Merlin!''

Merlin looked at his mentor, his eyes sweeping over his condition and appearance and couldn't hold back the tears that blurred his vision. He ran and engulfed his father-figure tightly in a hug.

Merlin: "I thought I lost you."

Gaius: "I thought I lost you, my boy."

They both looked at each other with watery eyes, too pleased to see the other alive and well. Merlin felt guilty, thinking this was all his fault. Gaius always has to go through such measures to hide his identity.

Merlin: "Gaius---"

Gaius: "I know what you are going to say, Merlin but I must tell you that.It.is.not.your.fault."

Merlin: "No Gaius, you always have to go through so much for me and because of me. I thought I almost lost you and that feeling.....is absolutely terrible and I don't want to go through that again... I c-can't...I can't lose my father again."

Twin tears streamed down Merlin's face and he embraced the physician once more. Gaius patted him on the back while gazing at the ceiling with glistening eyes.

They remained like this for a moment, both collecting their thoughts and themselves together but soon Gaius realized that Merlin's secret has been spilled and Morgana will stop at nothing to get him. He couldn't let that happen. Gaius released Merlin from the hug and uttered those words that always haunted him in his dreams.

Gaius: "Merlin, You must leave Camelot immediately."

Merlin was shocked by this sudden statement. Gaius would never say such a thing, would never advise Merlin to abandon his destiny and leave Camelot, unless something drastic happened.

Merlin: "Gaius, Wha--What's the matter?"

Gaius, stating the obvious: "Morgana!"

That name alone is a thing of nightmare, something that sends cold shivers down one's spine. Morgana, high priestess of the old religion, Camelot's biggest adversary and a thorn in Merlin's side.

Gaius: "I am so sorry Merlin, I didn't had the strength to fight against the Catha and I revealed everything. I told them your true power, your destiny and the prophecy, the fact that you are referred to as Emrys by the druids and the old religion and now Morgana knows and she will come for you. You HAVE to leave Camelot at first light. There is no time."

Merlin saw the disappointment and remorse in Gaius's eyes as if he had let his duty down or failed at his task but that's the thing, it was never Gaius's responsibility to hide Merlin's secret, to protect his identity. He was doing it willingly and that almost cost him his life. Merlin calmed the physician down.

Merlin: "Gaius! Morgana doesn't know who I am. She is still unaware of who Emrys is. Alator didn't said anything to Morgana and changed his allegiance to the right side, our side and he protected my identity.... My secret still remains a secret."

Alator chose to protect Emrys, just like Gaius, because they all believed that Emrys, with the Once and Future King, will bring peace to the lands of Albion; sorcery will once again be free. 

Upon hearing Merlin's reassurances Gaius released a huge sigh of relief. His weary face immediately brightened and he thanked Alator for keeping his boy safe from Morgana's clutches. The dark and gloomy night didn't look all that dreadful now.

Merlin gave his mentor a toothy grin and looked at the destroyed room. He took a deep breath and put his hands on his waist.

Merlin: "heh...looks like my day job has already started."

He took the broom from Gaius and started sweeping all the broken mess on the floor. Gaius stared at him fondly, pleased to see such a sight. Merlin looked back at Gaius and wrinkled his nose.

Merlin: "You need to take a shower, old man. You smell like you came from the stocks and I should know."

Gaius: "Who are you calling an old man, you idiot boy?"

They shared a look and then burst into laughter. Gaius picked up a bucket and went out to freshen up. Merlin was left alone in the chamber, picking up books from the floor. While cleaning, his thoughts started to wander. He kept thinking of the events that happened, Gaius's face in pain from the torture. He never want something like this to happen again. He couldn't handle it. He tried shoving these thoughts aside but his mind refused to turn from the dark, scary and horrifying path that still pull at his heartstrings painfully. 

Chapter Text

It was an unusual morning in Camelot. The sky was covered by thick black sheets of dark clouds as if the heavens didn't want the radiant rays to shine on the land of Camelot. It was about to rain and by the looks of it, it was going to be a dreadful rain.

Seeing the weather like this, the townspeople of Camelot were busy trying to complete their respective task against the schedule before it rains. It was utter chaos in the town and with that, the palace was also in distress. Maids and manservants were running around, fulfilling their master's demands, the knights and squires were hovering around the citadel and the lower town to assist people in need. The court had already announced to stock up their supplies for it was uncertain how long this weather will last.

During this frenzied time, there was but one room in the whole palace that showed signs of the complete opposite; the king's chamber. The curtains were draped properly across the window so that not a sliver of light could penetrate the tranquil room and there, on the master bed lay the King of Camelot, Arthur Pendragon, in peace. He was in the land of dreams unaware of the weather and his frantic people. Merlin didn't come today to wake him up like every other day. It truly was an unusual morning indeed.

Sniff...sniff....Arthur woke up by the sweet smell of freshly baked bread infusing in the chamber. It was soothing but unusual for he was not used to be woken up by this fresh scent. It was always Merlin's voice that soothes his ears every morning. He sat up and looked around his chamber.

Arthur: "MERLIN! MERLIN!!!"

No response. No sounds of anything crashing as Merlin trip over his own feet. Arthur was confused. It was never like Merlin not to wake him up in the morning. He got out of his bed and went towards the table where his breakfast was set up beautifully and perfectly. Freshly baked bread with crispy bacon on the side, handpicked red apples and a jar of his favorite item; pickled eggs. Arthur scratched his head while he investigated his chamber closely.The room was looking immaculate; the floor being perfectly polished, his today's attire was already picked and hanged on the changing screen and his hot bath was ready just the way he liked. Anybody who wake up with the room like this would be more than happy, more than delighted but Arthur was not. He was perplexed and uncomfortable. He always desired this kind of royal service but now all he need is Merlin. He always liked being woken up by Merlin's obnoxious greeting. It always freshen up his mood and then he liked being dragged from his bed by him whenever Arthur acted prattish-ly and be treated like a baby. Instead of perfect breakfast, he loved every bickering word they share. That was Arthur usual morning but today was, well, unusual.

Arthur got dressed, though still feeling perturbed, and was about to eat his breakfast when Agravaine barged in.

Agraviane: "My apologies Sire, for coming in like this but the council wants to see you right away. I am afraid, a terrible storm is about to hit Camelot and the villagers are panicking over their livestock. The council and the people are awaiting for their king's word."

Arthur looked at his uncle with a contemplative look, obvious that he hadn't heard a word his adviser had said.

Arthur: "Have you seen Merlin?"

Agravaine blinked twice, his confusion still evident.

Agraviane: "Sire? I ... beg your pardon."

Arthur: "Merlin! Have you seen him anywhere? He didn't came to me in the morning. I want to know where he is?"

Argraviane: "Sire, your manservant----"

Arthur: "DON'T!!!........ I told you before, don't call him that"

Agraviane: "Sorry Sire, but the council needs to see you right now."

Arthur stood up from his table and headed towards the door but, before leaving, he turned towards his uncle and instructed him with a duty.

Arthur: "Find Merlin and tell him to meet me at once."

Agravaine: "Arthur! I believe there are more pressing problems than finding you man-... I mean Merlin."

Arthur: "That will be all."

Arthur left his chamber leaving Agravaine baffled which was, in itself, unusual.

Chapter Text

The rain pelted hard on the cobblestone road of the courtyard. Candles and braziers were being lit in many places throughout the whole citadel as the dark cloud cover was making it difficult to see. Camelot has never before experienced such a storm and this one is sure to be spectacular. 

Common folk were pouring in through the wide open doors of the throne room. Council men stood besides the throne engaged in a discussion while several servants were gathered in one corner gossiping away. Village elders were also present on behalf of their village. The whole room was packed, waiting for their king who arrived shortly wearing his favorite red leather jacket and brown trousers with his ever present Camelot red cape. Everybody bowed to him as he made his way to his throne.

The council member debriefed him on everything the minute he sat on his throne. For Arthur, however, everything was a hazy blur. He might be present in the room physically but, mentally, his thoughts were elsewhere. His gaze was steadfastly fixed on the door waiting for a certain manservant/best friend. He hadn't seen Merlin since last night and this unusual morning didn't sit well in his gut. He felt incomplete.

Agravaine, the king's most trusted adviser, entered and stood beside Arthur. Arthur leaned towards him and whispered.

Arthur: "Have you found Merlin?"

Agravaine looked at Arthur with one eyebrow raised and just as he was about to reply, Arthur's eyes caught a figure entering the throne room.He felt his world getting back on his axis the minute he laid his eyes on Merlin. Relief and joy burst in Arthur's heart and out of nowhere and in front of his 50 council members he spoke out-loud.

Arthur: "MERLIN!!! Where the HELL have you been?"

The whole room went pin drop silent. Various people looked at the king with bemusement while others looked at Merlin in shock. Arthur, on the other hand, was looking at Merlin with a huge boyish grin pasted on his face. Merlin didn't said anything and, with a blank face, came in front of his king, bowed and stood with the other servants. Arthur was, now, even more puzzled with this behavior. Merlin never bowed to him, not if he was mocking Arthur, even when they first met, so why today? Arthur kept looking at him, trying to discern his friend while Merlin kept his eyes locked on the floor like a good servant.

Agravaine witnessed Arthur's undivided attention towards his servant and tried to distract him so that he can focus on the current problems.

Agravaine: "Sire, I believe now it's time to address your people. They are waiting for quiet sometime."

Arthur didn't heard a word his uncle said. His thoughts and his eyes both were fixed on his best friend. Merlin's behavior felt off to Arthur and he can't quiet put his finger on what seems to be the reason and it kept bothering him. Agravaine touched the king's shoulder when he got no response.

Agravaine: "Arthur, your audience awaits."

Arthur: "huh? Oh... umm... Yes Uncle."

Arthur got up from his throne and faced his subjects.

Arthur: "There seems to be a bad storm descended upon Camelot and I know all of you are worried about your livestock, your fields and your loved ones but I assure you the castle will provide its walls and will assist you in any way possible. The knights will be on constant patrol, giving you their full service. The citadel doors are open for shelter for those who need it. Camelot's walls are strong to withstand this storm and so are its people. I would request the common folks to stock their supplies as much as they can so that you are equipped with all the necessities until the storm pass. That will be all."

As soon as he finished his speech, his people bowed to him but instead of furthering his discussion with his council, Arthur ran straight towards Merlin who was about to leave the room.

Arthur: "Merlin? MERLIN!!!... Where are you going?

Arthur came in front of him to stop his progress. Merlin didn't look at Arthur and kept his head down.

Merlin: "Sire, can I assist you in anything?"

Arthur's confusion deepened. Merlin was never like this. He never acted this way, like a boot-licking servant, with Arthur and the king appreciated that. Arthur never considered him as his subject or follower. Merlin was always his friend and sometimes more than that.

Arthur: "What has gotten into you today?"

Merlin: "Sire, I beg your pardon?"

Arthur: "This." (gestured with his hands.) "What is wrong with you? Why aren't you addressing me by my name like you usually do?"

Merlin: "Sire! It's not appropriate to address my king by his first name like a simpleton and I would never break my manners, Sire."

Arthur was now getting irritated and frustrated by this new Merlin.

Arthur: "MERLIN! You listen---"

Merlin: "Sire, I understand my position in this castle and I think you should too."

His response and the fierce look in his eyes gave a clear sign that Merlin was angry and maybe he is mad at Arthur.

Arthur was dumbfounded and upset by Merlin. His face fell and he felt a sting behind his eyes. He kept looking at Merlin but the servant didn't look up. He felt his heart about to break and he was sure that if it did, the whole of Camelot will hear.

Merlin: "Will that be all, Sire?"

Arthur: "Yes... that will be all."

Merlin bowed but Arthur couldn't bear the sight of it anymore so he looked away and squeezed his eyes shut. Merlin stood straight and left room. Arthur's gaze was fixated on his friend's back but Merlin never looked back.

Chapter Text

Arthur was pacing in his chamber. His thoughts wandered from one point to the next with nothing making sense in between. His heart continue to grow heavy whenever Merlin's angry and disappointed face came in his mind. He knew now that Merlin was upset with him but for what he didn't know. He wanted to make things better so badly and back to normal but he didn't know how. As he continued to think, a knock resounded in the room and Agravaine entered.

Agravaine: "Sire, I hope I am not disturbing you but I need to discuss something about our stock supply."

Arthur was not in his right mind so he didn't respond to his uncle. Seeing this, Agravaine thought it his duty to set his king right, before the council start questioning his actions.

Agravaine: "Arthur, as your Uncle, I am deeply concerned about you. Your behavior in the throne room was not appropriate and right now you need to set yourself right. You are our KING. Merlin is not the pressing problem right now."

Arthur: "No Uncle, you don't understand. At first, even I thought Merlin was being too over dramatic but the look in his eyes uncle... I could tell that he is hurt. He is angry and I think that's because of me."

Agravaine rubbed his forehead and tried to think on how to address his nephew but a knock interrupted him. Merlin entered the chambers. Arthur looked at his friend with hope and desperation shining in his eyes.

Merlin bowed to both Arthur and Agravaine. Arthur made a face that clearly showed his disgust at this action.

Merlin: "My apologies, Sires, for disturbing you at this time but I came here to ask for a leave. I cannot be in your service anymore."

Arthur: "WHAT!?!?!?!?

Merlin: "My mother is getting old and she needs me, Sire. I have to leave for Ealdor as soon as possible so I am asking you to dismiss me from my duties. It's been a privilege to serve you, my lord."

Arthur's heart finally broke and it shattered into a million little pieces. Arthur couldn't believe Merlin would say such a thing, couldn't believe that he would leave him. Arthur wandered what he had done that Merlin, his biggest supporter, his brother, could not bear his presence anymore. Arthur looked at Merlin, his jaw slacked open and his eyes wide as saucers with utter disbelief visible in them.

Arthur: "I can't just let you go. You promised to serve me till the day you die."

Agravaine: "ARTHUR!!! What has gotten into you? Dismiss him from his duty. He needs to be with his mother. You can't make him work against his will."

Agravaine looked at Merlin and took the situation in his hand for he was court adviser as well as Arthur's uncle.

Agravaine: "Merlin, on behalf of the king you are free to go. Thank you for your unwavering loyalty and service."

Merlin: "Thank you, Sire."

Merlin didn't let Arthur get a word in and left the room quickly. Throughout the whole conversation Merlin never looked at Arthur once.

Arthur looked at his uncle with a questioning and betrayed look and was about to follow Merlin but Agravaine stopped him.

Agravaine: "Get a grip Arthur, we can find plenty of good manservant for you."

Arthur: "Yes! But they will never be Merlin."

Arthur shrugged his uncle's hold and departed the room.

Chapter Text

Arthur barged into Gaius's chamber and saw the old man sitting at the table having soup. He looked a little weak and pale. Merlin was packing his bag. Gaius turned around to look at the king.

Gaius: "Sire?"

The, admittedly, old and frail physician tried to stand up but his strength was waning. Merlin rushed forward and assisted him. It was cleared Gaius wasn't fully recovered from the whole kidnapping ordeal and he also had a fever. Arthur, shocked to see this, also step forward to help but Merlin halted his approach by putting a hand on his chest; his eyes blazing.

Merlin: "DON'T!!!!"

Gaius: "MERLIN! What is the matter, boy?"

Merlin: "I am asking 'my king' to not take another step."

Gaius: "Merlin!! You cannot address him like this."

Merlin: "I am saving our high king's 'dignity'. He shouldn't be lowering his standard by helping us common folk. This is against the rules, am I right, Sire?"

Arthur looked at Merlin with broken, hurt and misty eyes. His only friend is hurt and angry and now he knows the reason why. Gaius took a step forward and shrugged his ward's hand off.

Gaius: "Leave right now and come back when your head is out of the leech tank."

Merlin looked at Gaius one final time and then stormed off, closing the door with a bang. Gaius sat back down on the bench and took a deep breath. Arthur looked at Gaius with tears visible in his eyes.

Arthur: "M..My apologies."

Arthur, too, then left.

Chapter Text

The storm, that started immediately after the council session, was getting pretty rough by now. Merlin was heading straight for the forest outside the castle walls with Arthur still following him. They were both thoroughly soaked.

Arthur: "MERLIN!? MERLIN!!....Wait!!!

Merlin sped up his pace but so did the king and soon Arthur stopped him by grabbing his arm. Merlin didn't turn around to look at his friend. They were both breathing heavily. Their breaths misting in front of them.

Arthur: "I know you're mad and you have every right to be. You are right. I was wrong, terribly and awfully wrong and I am truly sorry for everything. Really Merlin, I am."

Merlin just shrugged Arthur's hand off and continued walking on his way. Arthur got a little frustrated when he got no reply for his heartfelt apology.

Arthur: "I said I was sorry. What else do you want me to say?"

Merlin halted and then whirled around to look at his master. His eyes dark with barely contained rage as he took a few steps forward to get close.

Merlin: "You're sorry? Really? You are? Don't make a fool of yourself."

Arthur: "Wha...??

Merlin: "You know... I was thinking something the other day that whatever catastrophe Camelot faced or will face is all because of Uther."

Arthur: "Merlin!!!"

Merlin: "No! I'm not finished... Do you hear that? Beyond the sound of the rain and the thunder. Listen carefully. It's the sound of a mother weeping for the loss of her child, the sound of a widower wailing for her dead husband, a sound of a daughter calling for her father and a sound of an old woman breaking apart after losing her whole family in the 'Great Purge'. These sounds, Arthur, these sounds still echoes in every part of Camelot and it's all because of your father."

At this point, Arthur was fuming but Merlin was in a roll.

Merlin: "Camelot's every pain is because of Uther. It's every sorrow, every loss is because of Uther Pendragon.

Arthur: "That's enough, Merlin. You're crossing the line."

Merlin: "Why? Does it hurt to listen or are you denying it?

Arthur couldn't take his friend's insolence anymore so he unsheathed his sword and leveled it at Merlin's chest.

Arthur: "Watch your tongue."

Merlin: "You know every word is true yet you deny it because it's your father. You can't bear to listen a single word against him. So now you know how I felt when you accused Gaius, my family."

Merlin shoved Arthur back.

Merlin: "You couldn't listen one awful thing about your father and you expect me to be okay after everything Gaius went through."

He pushed Arthur again.

Merlin: "You accused Gaius with no actual proof, and brought him for questioning when you knew that's the same thing your father did and he came out innocent but you still did it anyway. Because of you, he became vulnerable in Morgana's eyes and she kidnapped him but even after that you weren't a little worried about what might've happened to him because he was just your subject, a commoner, not someone dear to you but he was DEAR TO ME ARTHUR!!! He was like a father to me! He is the reason who I am today. I SAW how he was tortured by Morgana to gain information. Did you even care to ask from ANY one what happened to him when he was kidnapped? No, you didn't. I was THIS close, Arthur, to losing him. What if I had lost him? Would you be able to bring him back to me? Would you, Arthur?"

It was difficult to tell if Merlin was crying due to the rain but the sniffles definitely told that he was upset. Thunder boomed loudly above them and the storm winds whipped around them even more wildly as Merlin let his rage, his disappointment and his stress on his king. He then, suddenly, grabbed Arthur's collar.

Merlin: "you never listen, never, not if its related to your family but listen this time, 'Your highness'. Gaius is my family and I wouldn't let it go this time and believe me, sire, I don't need your sorry. I don't need anything from you. Not until you feel it from here"

He let go of Arthur's color and slapped it hard on his chest right over his heart to emphasis 'HERE'. The forced pushed his master, who stumbled back to regain his balance. Merlin walked backwards a few steps and carded his wet fingers through his equally wet hair.

Merlin: "You know when you became king, I was promised a land of justice and equality and a king who is wise and fair to its people but I was wrong..... Nothing changed. Everything is still the same. Same land, same people and the same 'king' but the only difference is that instead of calling you 'King Uther', we address you as King Arthur."

Arthur stood thunderstruck as he heard his friend rant. He knew that Merlin was hurt, very hurt and that Arthur was wrong. He accepted everything Merlin said, he knew them to be true from the deepest part of his heart. He also knew that this damage is quite severe and a simple sorry won't fix anything.

Merlin was breathing heavily from his pent up emotions and then he shook his head, disappointment etched in his every feature, and then left. Arthur tried to follow but couldn't when he felt a sting from the left side off his chest (where the heart is). He rubbed his hand on the smarting spot to relieve the pain but soon found that it was getting hard to breathe; he was suffocating. He tried to call his retreating friend but couldn't find the strength to speak. The pain in his chest was getting worse and he found himself on his knees. Black spots danced in front of his vision and he was forced to lay on the ground to steady himself. His breathing was still irregular like somebody was strangling him. His hands on his neck and chest, he gazed at the sky. The storm and the thunder had passed away suddenly and the downpour was letting itself up slowly. It was too quiet, unusually quiet. Only one thought revolved around his head; that he let his only friend down. He closed his eyes and whispered.

"I'm really sorry, Merlin."

And took his last breath.

Chapter Text

It was dark, maybe too dark. Arthur still felt a little suffocated. He wanted to breathe so badly.

Gasp. 

His eyes flew open. He found himself back in his bed. He felt absolutely fine. He saw his window curtains draped open. Sunlight poured over the whole castle, birds were chirping in the distance and the sky was clear with no sign of the storm Arthur just experienced; it was a new morning. He sat up and looked around his room. It was messy the way it usually was; clothes were lying on the dirty floor and his dining table still had last night's left over food along with dirty dishes. For Arthur, this was a sight for sore eyes. He jumped from his bed and darted towards the court room still in his night clothes.

Every member from the council was ordered to be present in the court room this instant. Everybody rushed in the room, confused and shocked to see their king's disheveled appearance. Agravaine hurriedly went towards Arthur to question about this urgent meeting.

Agravaine: "Sire, what's wrong and why are you not dressed?"

Arthur: "Uncle, there's something I would like to do and my dressing can wait."

As Gaius and Merlin entered the room, the king stood up from his throne and addressed his crowd. The court room went silent.

Arthur: "You may be wondering why I've called for a meeting this early... A drastic event had occurred a few nights ago. One of our royal subject was kidnapped by Morgana and was tortured for information but that person remained loyal to the kingdom, he remained loyal to me and I cannot thank him enough but... I also want to say sorry for he was landed in this ordeal because of me."

There was a collective gasp that echoed in the room followed immediately by varying whispers among the lords. Agravaine kept looking at Arthur with his eyebrows touching his hairline. Gaius was overwhelmed by this and Merlin had a proud little smile on his face. Arthur continued but he kept his eyes locked on his best friend.

Arthur: "Somebody reminded me that, as a king, I always have to be just and wise in my decision and to trust my own people but I failed to do so. I mistrusted one of my most faithful follower and my actions almost cost him his life. So as your king and on behalf of the whole kingdom, I am truly sorry, Gaius."

Heads swirled towards Gaius, whose eyes were brimming with tears. Arthur went towards Gaius, held his right hand and kissed it out of respect and love; his eyes misting too. Gaius, in turn, smiled at Arthur and pulled him in a hug. It was clear that he forgave his king for his actions. Everybody was pleased to see their king took responsibility over his mistake and saw their true fair and just king. Arthur was about to leave when Merlin spoke up.

Merlin: "Is it just me or are you a little under-dress today, Arthur?"

Seeing his friend back, his sarcastic, overbearing and goofy best friend, Arthur pulled Merlin in a hug in front of the whole court, a huge smile of relief and joy plastered on his face.

Arthur: "I'm really sorry, Merlin."

Merlin: "It's okay, dollophead."

Arthur eventually broke their hug when Agravaine, the royal pain, called him. As Arthur left, Gaius looked at Merlin, confusion evident in his face.

Gaius: "What is with him today?"

Merlin: "I don't know..... May be woodworms?"

Gaius: "woodworms??......MERLIN!!!!

Said servant smiled a mischievous grin at his mentor.

~MERLIN~