Work Text:
Alec was working on the official report about Clary’s resurfacing to send to the Clave when he heard a knock and watched a distress Magnus rush inside his office. He looked even more desolate than he had in the past week, since he lost his magic. Alec could read the dejection on his face and in his body. He was ready to fight whoever had caused distress to his boyfriend, that too at a time that was probably his lowest.
“I am really sorry, Alexander.”, said Magnus, taking the seat across from Alec.
“What? What’s wrong Magnus?”, Alec was really confused at the words that had just been said.
“I am sorry I can’t help Isabelle. She needs this root from L’Isle Adam and I can’t get it for her. She looks like she is suffering and I...I can’t do anything to help.”, he was almost about to cry. Alec could see hints of wetness in his eyes. Magnus’s words had sirened all the thresholds of worry in his head. Izzy was suffering? And from what it seemed like from Magnus’s state, it looked pretty bad. He did over analyse things but this was his boyfriend and his sister. He could not leave anything untouched. He had to weigh in everything.
“What do you mean? What’s wrong with Izzy?”, he got up from his seat and went to sit on the table so he could be closer to Magnus. Magnus sobbed and cleared his throat. Alec, almost instinctively, raised his hand to touch and comfort Magnus.
“She helped Simon get rid of the mark of Cain. In the process, Simon needed blood to survive so she let him feed on her. I am guessing, her cravings are -”
“What? How could she? How could HE? How could Simon do this to her? I am gonna kill him.”, he stood up and started to move.
“No, Alexander. Wait!”, Magnus got up as well, stopping Alec by pulling his arm. He slid his hand down Alec’s arm to hold his hands, palm to palm.
“It was a life or death situation. He could have died and Izzy asked him to, of course out of the goodness of her heart but now I think she is experiencing a craving and might relapse.”, Magnus sounded a little calmer, it was probably because they were touching. Alec had a fleeting thought that he would never stop touching Magnus if it really did calm him down or helped him in any sort of way.
“And...I can’t do anything about it. I am not used to and I don’t like feeling so helpless and useless.”, he leaned towards Alec and rested his head on the shadowhunter’s shoulder. Alec put his hands on Magnus’s back and started stroking it. He had already said everything that Magnus needed to hear in the last few days and he knew that Magnus had understood his words and his support. Now, he just had to show it to him, he had to stay and be with him in moments like these and he was going to be there until the very end. He let Magnus take his time, he could feel a little dampness where Magnus’s eyes were connected to his body. He didn’t say anything, also because words create pressure and sometimes you need to wallow in your pain for a little bit. You need to go through your suffering for it to end, there is absolutely no way around it. He kissed Magnus’s temple as an expression of support; to be there and love Magnus through it all.
Magnus detached himself from his support system after a while and looked him in the eyes. “Anyway, it is not as bad as the last time so don’t worry so much. She isn’t back to it, she is just longing for it. I wanted to tell you so that you can be there for her. I am going to be here as well but you are her brother and she needs you more.”
“Thank you for telling me. I am going to be there for Izzy… and you. You’re not helpless or useless. Half of the shadowhunters, me included wouldn’t be alive today if it wasn’t for you.”
Magnus scoffed at his words.
“I am serious. But anyway your worth doesn’t come from what you can do, it comes from what you are and you, Magnus are the most beautiful person there could ever be.”, Alec raised his hand and rested it against Magnus’s neck. Magnus gave him a wide smile and dropped a small kiss on his lips.
“I am going to get back to tracking Jonathan”, said Magnus.
After Magnus left, Alec was back to his usual jam of worrying too much. The thoughts in his head ran fast enough to beat Usain Bolt. His little sister was in suffering, she needed him and he was going to do everything possible to help. He thought back to the time of Izzy’s withdrawal, her trembling and sweating. It was as if she was living every second in agony. He felt a jolt of anguish running through his own body. He couldn’t let it happen again. He wouldn’t let his precious sister fall back into it. He also felt a little disheartened because Izzy didn’t come to him, he found out about it only because she needed that root from Magnus. She probably wasn’t seeking out any other kind of help. He was her brother, her big brother, she was supposed to come to him in need or otherwise but especially when things might go downhill. Before he could spiral into thoughts of his own degradation, he pulled himself back. This was not about him. It was about Izzy, he was going to stand tall and strong so his sister could lean on him and he was going to tell her loud and clear that she should and has to ask him for help because he was going to be there for her, every step of the way.He recalled the mundane meetings Izzy had told him about and decided to read up on them. He went back to his head-of-the-institute chair and pulled up google. He read and read about how the groups functioned, what their purpose was, what they talk about and everything else he could find. He was reading about various different techniques people use for their cravings when he realised Izzy was talking about her particular technique. He picked up his tablet and decided to continue reading on the way.
“Hello, sir! Is there anything specific you’re looking for?”, asked a kind teenage girl to Alec. He was at the local supermarket, looking around.
“Umm...yes, I am looking to buy some candies.” He deliberated whether to say the ones that help with venom addiction but then decided against it.
“Certainly, this way.”, she led him to an aisle next to the checkout counter. “These are the ones that we have. I hope they’re okay.”, she said with a smile.
What did that mean? He took a look at the packet she was holding out for him. ‘Coconut slice Candy Bars’, that read fine. Then why did the girl ask him if that was fine? Probably some mundane tradition. He nodded at her, said a quick thank you and proceeded to bill his purchase.
After coming back to the institute, he dropped his ipad and the stack of candy in his office and proceeded to talk to Izzy. He kept two candy bars on him, just in case Izzy needed them. He had read quite a lot and had a fair strategy in place. He didn’t want to spring things on her directly because that ‘could cause discomfort to the sufferer’ . He decided to just go and talk to her about the morning star sword and see if she brought it up or if he could say or do things indirectly. So, that’s why when she said “There is something I need to tell you.”, his hope started building. Perhaps Izzy would bring it up herself. He looked a little closely and his heart hurt at the signs of his sister’s misery. She looked a little torn down and so tired. He was reminded of his childhood when he wanted to wrap his little sister in a blanket and protect her from the world. He noticed her hesitating a little bit. “You can tell me anything”, he said to encourage her. But what she told him was not what he was expecting to hear. Her revelation of the secret mission against the Clave added on to his worries but at the same time he couldn’t have felt prouder. His brave sister, dealing with her personal conditions and fighting for the good. He wouldn’t let her do all of this alone and hence decided to go with her. Maybe, Izzy would bring it up during their mission.
So, when Izzy said absolutely nothing, he wondered if he should take the lead but he didn’t want her to feel overwhelmed. He knew he was bad at indirect conversations and Izzy knew him pretty well. He decided against it but what if she wasn’t feeling okay? What if she was hurting in some way? The bars, yes, he could pretend to snack on candy bars and in turn offer them to Izzy, they would help her if she was craving. And so he did but as expected he got caught. Izzy didn’t take a second to guess what he was upto. Since, the cat was already out of the bag, he just decided to go with it. ‘Remember, you have to say things to show support and kindness. Tell them they are valid. Tell them they have help…..’, he rushed through all the right things to say, in his head.
By the end of the conversation, he was relieved in a way. Izzy had agreed to let him help her and she didn’t seem to be doing as bad as he had hyped in his head. He felt better now that he could witness what was happening to his sister. He could be there with her, take care of her and make sure that she got through this. He was also panicking a little because of this new responsibility on his shoulder. He was constantly keeping a watch on her and asking her how she felt every five minutes. He was determined to make Izzy feel better and he would do just about anything for it.
At the end of the day, when he was about to retire for the night, he stopped by Izzy’s room. As soon he entered he heard an exasperated Izzy aver playfully, “I am okay Alec, you don’t have to coddle me so much.” But her delight at his presence was plain as day, in her voice.
“I know but do you want me to stay with you tonight. We could watch a movie while eating candy.”, he said walking into the room. He stopped next to her bed and gave her a wide smile with a raised eyebrow.
“No. I don’t want Magnus to hate me.”
“Oh, come on. You know he wouldn’t mind. He would be happy to join us and show us films made by his fancy director friends.”
“No, Alec. I am serious. I am fine. I am just going to sleep now.”
“Okay. Also, I read that people bring in their friends and family for support to the mundane meetings you go to. I am coming with you when you go the next time. I want to come and be able to support you.”
Izzy gave him a huge smile, and for just that moment, he felt his sister was going to be okay.
“Okay!’, she said, “but you can’t call them “mundane meetings” there.”