Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“So what are you gonna do, shatter me?!”

Bismuth’s tone is corrosive, boiling with hurt, as sharp as the fine point that she’s forcibly pressed against the gem inlaid in her chest. Standing across from her, Steven’s hands quiver against the cool metal casing of the breaking point. Once assured words derail and fragment in the presence of terrifying uncertainty, his mind grasping at straws for the barest glimmer of optimism. (Optimistic thought number one: While it’s absolutely the most horrifying tool of war he’s ever had the misfortune of holding, he’s at least glad this thing isn’t a thousand billion degrees like everything else in this crazy lava powered furnace.)

“Go ahead!” she continues, tears budding in her eyes, and jerks the weapon against her gem so roughly that it clinks against the hard crystal’s surface. His shoulders seize at the sound. “Just do it!”

Whatever force of fear once tied his tongue, it dissipates like pearly beads of sweat in dry heat at the first sight of her distress.

“No!” he says, surmounting the strength to rebel against her hold, to pull the razor-sharp point away from her. “Even if we don’t agree, nobody deserves this...”

In an instant, a complex series of emotions flicker across her stony visage in consuming waves too rapid to identify. Anger? Confusion, maybe? A hint of relief? He dares to dream she’ll reconsider, earnestly apologize, back down and store the weapon away. Destroy it, even. They can warp to the temple together, hand-in-hand, and maybe then everything will finally return to normal. A new normal, with her a part of his Crystal Gem family! Amethyst will have a new wrestle buddy, and Pearl and Garnet will smile a little brighter alongside their old rebellion era friend!

But any hope he dares cling to is quickly incinerated under the blistering rage radiating from deep within that Gem’s tear stained eyes. She yanks the breaking point from his grasp. Heart pounding in his ears, his glance desperately skates across the room, catching a glimpse of his mom’s sword laying askew on the floor. Too far away, too far away! Bismuth raises her weapon adorned arm above her head and swings.

Chapter Text

Thankfully, the two (three—??) of them aren’t alone when they warp into the temple. Pearl and Garnet are sitting at the counter, caught mid conversation, and Amethyst is flopped lazily across the couch with her arm hanging over the edge. Still shivering, Steven (or at least the organic part of him— referring to himself by that name right now just doesn’t feel right) clings ever tighter to Bismuth’s arm, glancing with tear stained eyes between his Gem self and Garnet, the only guardian in his direct line of sight.

She shoots to her feet. Her mouth twists into an expression laced with more raw panic than he’s ever seen her convey in his life, and that thought alone hurts enough to shoot a physical pang of distress through his nerves.

“Steven! Bismuth!"

“Ah, there you are,” Pearl greets amicably, and begins to turn to face the warp pad. “We were wondering where yo- oh good heavens!!" 

“Dude...” Amethyst says as she shoots upright on the couch, her face turning an even paler shade of purple.

Bismuth’s form grows tense at the attention of their now inescapable audience, her fingers wrapping around his prone body just a little bit tighter. The pink double generated by his gemstone glitches, the edges of his hard-light form morphing to fuzzy static that phases in and out of shape. Simultaneously, he winces as an unpleasant, tingling pins and needles sensation radiates through every last cavernous hollow of his fragile human shell.

Any and all shell-shocked confusion dissipates at the unquestionable sight of a cracked Gem. His family rushes across the room to the warp pad in no more than a nanosecond flat, their shrill, panicked voices and Bismuth’s evasive and roughly cobbled attempts at an explanation overlapping each other until he can barely pick out what any one of them is saying. His ears begin to ring. More arms than his disoriented senses can count dance under his back. A few heartbeats more and he finds himself swaddled in a thick blanket (is that his entire bedspread?), safe and secure in Garnet’s hold. Admitting it leaves his stomach gnawing with nausea, because it feels so much like a blatant betrayal against the forgiving, accepting person he aspires to be, but it’s a genuine relief to no longer be caught in the mercy of Bismuth’s grasp.

The Gems continue to fuss and argue about goodness knows what, their faces blurring in and out of focus as the seconds tick on. Notably, Pearl’s voice rises above all the others. She kneels next to the Other Steven, wrapping her arm around him like he’s the greatest treasure in all the universe, or something. (He may be imagining it, but he swears he can feel the phantom whispers of her touch on his own shoulder.) He’s mostly gotten used to that baseline dull ache left behind in place of his gemstone by now, but whenever his counterpart’s form flickers and warps due to the crack that’s no doubt splayed across the rose quartz’s surface right now, that ache spikes into sensations agonizing enough to make his toes curl. If this is the pain he’s able to feel without his gem altogether, then what kind of horrid agony is this Other Steven in? He meets the Gem’s gaze, fully expecting to find a tight grimace spread across his features, but what he finds instead is almost worse— his counterpart’s expression is entirely blank. Unfocused. Almost… lifeless. His eyes brim with hot, sloppy tears, a sharp whimper passing his lips. What if— oh no, what if all the static and the glitching is so painful for him that the only way he’s able to cope is by avoiding the exertion of energy via speaking or showing emotion entirely? He could be outright suffering right now, and everyone else is far too busy arguing to notice. 

“—and you took him to the lower forge alone?? What were you thinking? It’s far too hot for him down there!” 

Bismuth pales. “I-I’m— look, Pearl, I honestly didn’t realize before how different he was from you, and—”

“‘Kay, but literally none of this explains all the freaky clone action,” Amethyst butts in, jutting her finger towards the pink hued hard-light Steven standing motionless in Pearl’s embrace. “Somehow he split entirely apart from his gem, so like—”

“Enough!” Garnet says. Ever so gently— an action in stark contrast to the sheer impatience etched within the tension in her voice— she uses her free hand to comb back sweat soaked curls from his forehead “This entire conversation is irrelevant, we should be—”

“Y'guys,” he croaks, but they're all so caught up in their spat that he's brushed right over, which... kinda hurts. A lot.

“—like, how does any of this even work? Was he like… some kind of weird fusion this whole time, too?? Gah, I dunno! I’m like, freakin’ out here, man! How the heck are we supposed to fix any o—”

Pearl bristles. “It is not irrelevant, something terrible’s happened and Bismuth hasn’t even begun to explain herself!”

“Pearl, I’m trying, but you won’t—”

“I don’t care how any of it happened!” Garnet roars. Even though it’s not directed at him, he flinches at the harshness of her anger. “His gem is cracked!!”

The room falls silent.

He nuzzles his head into the crook of her arm, suddenly feeling safer in her embrace than ever before. "Thank you," he whispers, glad that there’s at least one person in this room conscious of the suffering his other half is in. She responds with a firm squeeze. 

Standing a few feet apart from the rest of the group, Bismuth squirms a little, nervously folding her hands together over and over and over again...

“This is all my fault, isn’t it,” she says, her once confident spirit sounding entirely hollowed out. He’s almost positive there’s tears budding at the corners of her eyes. “I did this. I—”

“This isn’t about us,” Garnet says, waving whatever she was prepared to say next off. “This is about helping Steven.” Then, in a whisper saved only for him: “Hold on. You’re gonna be all right, I promise.”

He gets the sense this comment is more for her benefit than his. He’s unsure if that should scare him or not.

(How many potential futures has she just watched where he di- No, he thinks. Not going there, nope nope nope.)

Amethyst hobbles up onto the warp pad then, urgently gesturing for everyone else to join her. “Well come on, no time to waste, yeah? We gotta get the two of them to Rose’s fountain!”

The other Gems agree readily and follow behind, though Bismuth’s steps are stiff and stilted. Pearl leads his quiet pink counterpart by the hand, assisting him up the stairs of the warp amid his glitching. Out of everyone, the blank shock written clear as day across her face suggests she’s especially haunted by the existence of that hard-light version of himself- more so than everyone else. Carefully regarding her as Garnet carries him— still all wrapped up like a burrito in his blanket— he can’t help but wonder why.

The warp activates, enveloping them in its glow. In seconds, they’re all coursing through the warp stream at record speed. One thing he knows for sure: he’s super glad he has his bedspread with him, because this strange little pocket of warp space hung between dimensions has a knack for being chilly, especially outside of the stream. It’d super suck to start shivering again right after finally settling down. 

As a nice reassurance, the promise of sunrise greets him in vibrant stripes of pink and orange when they arrive at their location. It’s still night back in Beach City, but he’s pretty sure Mom’s fountain is somewhere in northern Europe. So, the sunrise makes sense. A vivid variety of fantastical trees and shrubs block out the horizon in every direction, growing wild and out of control without the constant guidance they must’ve received in the past, when his Mom was still alive. Still, this place looks leagues nicer (and infinitely less threatening) than it did the first time he came here.

The… the first time h-he—

A jarring spike of static shoots up his nerves at the mere reminder of that misadventure, reminding him that unfortunately, with his gem cracked, (and still no clue how he split apart from it in the first place), now’s no time to waste sightseeing. His chest tightens as he suddenly realizes he’s missing one crucial family member. A family member who he— even if it’s a bit of a childish thought— really wants holding his hand right about now.

“Wait, I need Dad,” he speaks up, voice hoarse and shaky. “P-please… I just want my dad—!”

Garnet hugs him closer to her chest at that admission. She presses her forehead against his, whispering some reassurance he can’t quite catch.

“Amethyst, go back and fetch Greg,” Pearl says. “You can meet us at the fountain.”

She nods, for once not even arguing with her orders. “On it." 

Her long lavender hair ripples in fierce waves behind her as she sprints back to the warp pad. Soon enough, he spots a column of cyan light shooting up into the sky. His fingers knead the edge of the blanket he's wrapped in, desperately trying to keep his mind from entertaining all the worst possible outcomes. It's becoming harder and harder to ignore the rippling weight of his pink double's suffering, even though he's remained near-silent this whole time. Anyways, he really, really hopes Amethyst will be back with his dad soon.

His attention returns to the others, and he watches as Pearl’s eyes narrow slightly, her glance sliding back towards Bismuth.

“When all this is over, we’ll be discussing things like upholding sleep curfews, practical safety tactics, and the key differences between Gem and human anatomy.”

Her brow tightly creasing, she smooths out the front of her apron. “Yup. Received and understood.” 

“We’d also appreciate more context on how all this happened in the first place,” Garnet says, gesturing between him and the half of Steven who’s still standing hand-in-hand with his other guardian.

Bismuth’s lips begin to part—

And then, without any forewarning whatsoever, Other Steven’s previously glassy expression snaps into alertness.

“Breaking point,” he blurts out for the first time since the forge, tone flat but cutting. “She cracked me—” a particularly violent glitch overwhelms the stability of his hard-light body, his words fragmenting— “tniop gnikaerb a htiw.”

“She did what??!” Pearl says, whirling towards the individual in question.

The strength of Garnet’s hold on him triples, as if in her fury she’s unintentionally forgotten that she’s carrying him in the first place. He winces, totally not thinking about how he’s watched her poof corruptions by squeezing them. Nope, no siree, not at all.

“Uh, Garnet?” he rasps out.

“Okay, okay!” Bismuth backs a few steps away, terror curling across her face at the sight of the Crystal Gem leader’s looming anger. “So I know it sounds bad, and well, it kinda is, but I swear if you give me the chance to explain, I’ll—”

“NO!”

The stone pathway splinters in an almost perfect circle under the hard-light Steven’s feet as he screams, tipping everyone off balance. Pearl and Bismuth stumble and fall. Garnet takes a knee, only by a miracle keeping a hold of him. All around them, a handful of frail limbs on the nearby trees crack and collapse to the ground. Bewildered and genuinely frightened by this display of sheer force, he desperately locks eyes with the other him, watching his form endlessly warp and morph and flicker into impossible configurations. For a fragment of a second he swears his double’s hot pink irises flare into another shape altogether.

“Mih TRUH uoy!” Other Steven shouts at Bismuth, his wrath outright pinning her in place, even in jumbled syllables. “RETTAHS ot deirt uoy—”

He explodes into a poof of smoke before he can even finish his garbled sentence, retreating to the cracked rose quartz gem.

His gem.

All phantom pains recede immediately, settling back into that dull emptiness gnawing at the pit of his stomach. For but a heartbeat, the gemstone remains airborne, its facets glittering in the glow of the morning sun. It’s big, larger than even seems possible, the previously exposed pentagonal surface only counting for a fraction of its full size. Somehow hidden within him this whole time, the sides of the pink gem flare outward and jut into a steep point. Pearl audibly gasps, slamming both hands over her mouth. Garnet and Bismuth recoil at the sight.

Then gravity asserts control, and it tumbles down, down, careening towards the hard stone like dead weight. Pearl dives to it with the finesse of a polished gymnast, catching the gem long before it hits the ground. She clutches it tight to her chest, as if to obscure it from the others.

“Pearl?” he croaks.

Her face is white as milk, and her slight frame is shuddering. “Y-you… you were never supposed to...”

“B-but this doesn’t make sense! That wasn’t- you’re not a rose quartz,” Bismuth stutters, carefully standing to her feet. His stomach sinks at the piercing accusation, his brow furrowing with confusion. “That gemstone, it—”

In all the years to come, he doubts he’ll ever forget the visceral fear laced within the words Garnet whispers next:

“—It’s a Pink Diamond.”

Chapter Text

It seems that the mere notion of sleep is his white whale tonight.

Perhaps it’s just due to the blunt reality that his son is half-human and frequently galavants on magical, dangerous adventures with the three alien guardians who have become just as much of a family to the boy as he is over time, but whether he blames it on the fourteen plus years of anxiety progressively gnawing away at him or his chronically poor sleep hygiene, it’s as clear as the ache in his spine that Greg Universe is far from being the poster child of a good night’s rest.

He’s spent the last hour or so drifting in and out of awareness, yanked back to conscious by every possible auditory stimuli that passes his ears. Sometimes what rouses him is the subtle ticks of a rickety car driving past on the road outside, a sound his wandering mind has long associated with the dollar signs of potential business. (He’s not actually dependent on the car wash to support himself and Steven anymore, but hey, old habits die hard.) In other cases it’s simply... the ocean. He’s never been much of a fan of white noise, and even though he’s lived by the shore for a solid two decades now, the rushing ebb and flow has a nasty knack of keeping him awake. Ugh. Maybe he should just bite the bullet and splurge for earplugs again. Overwhelmingly though, the main reason sleep tends to be such a stranger to him is because his brain simply refuses to shut up. Snippets of awkward social interactions from the day, worries about the faint stress hidden within his son’s smiles, song lyric rejects, the grocery list he forgot to write before retiring to the cozy, well-worn mattress set up on the van’s floor— just when he thinks he’s reached the end of things to obsess over and can finally slip into the blissful embrace of REM, something else claws out of the very mud of the Earth to bully him awake once more. It’s a vicious cycle.

Greg rolls on his side, and kicks the edge of his downy comforter until it fully covers his cold toes. The nightly temperature is beginning to drop, steadily paving the way for the height of the fall season. It’s not too bad so far, but soon enough the coastal winds will pick up. Delmarva nights get cold this time of year. Steven is warm enough in his bed, isn’t he? He’s got plenty of extra blankets if he needs them? And does he still need to pay the heating bill for this month or did he already—

He chuckles to himself, realizing all the proof he needs of that lays in his meticulously kept checkbook ledger safely tucked away in the glovebox. As always, he’s fussing over nothing. Oh, the woes of parenthood. But his fatherly worries aside, there’s no denying Steven’s genuinely happy living with the Gems. Despite the occasional adrenaline pumping encounter, with Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst’s constant protection there’s really no safer place he could be.

A faint smile lifts his cheeks as his turbulent mind settles and he begins to doze off again.

Just as he’s about to cross that final canyon into unconsciousness, something raps against the door from outside. He promptly rolls over and groans into his pillow.

“I swear if this is another one of those gulls,” he mutters, out loud but more to himself than anything.

“Greg! Yo G-man, get your butt out here!”

He purses his lips. Nope. No such luck. Looks like it’s gonna be Gem business tonight. He shifts to sit up, rolling his shoulders back with an audible pop and brushing his long hair out of his face before finally shuffling across the van’s floor to crack open the back door.

He peers blankly at the short purple Gem standing ready to knock rapid-fire outside, his body filled with such exhaustion that his eye bags probably have luggage of their own.

“Amethyst,” he begins slowly. “It’s long past midnight, and right now the only thing I give a single damn about is how cozy my mattress is, so unless the world’s literally ending again I’m—”

“Steven’s hurt,” she says rapidly, and it’s only then that he jolts awake enough to notice the panic jittering through her stout frame.

His heart stutters.

“Wait, what?”

At first he swears he’s going senile prematurely. Surely none of this is happening, surely he must’ve drifted to sleep after all and this is no more but a worryingly realistic nightmare, but no. No. Everything is too real. The way the cold salt air tousles through his beard, the faint scent of fish wafting from the docks... dreams are never this vivid for him. In the end it’s the distinct glossiness of her eyes that convinces him. He’d never make dream Amethyst cry, because she almost never does.

Her explanation spills forth in a breathless rush.

“Steven, his gem got cracked, and none of us get how but he’s like, somehow split apart, and- and everyone’s at Rose’s fountain and you gotta come with me right now!”

She’s tugging at his arm by the end of her run-on sentence, and he has no time to slip on sandals or even lock the door before she yanks him right out of the van and under the mask of night. He’s already breathing heavy by the time they near the end of the street.

“Hurry!” she urges, the moonlight shimmering off the quartz gem embedded in her chest.

“But what even happened?” he asks, voice climbing with hysteria, huffing to keep up with her pace. “How did he—”

“I already said, I don’t know! None of us do.”

“What do you mean you don’t—”

“Hey, it’s not our fault! She hasn't even told us everything yet,” Amethyst snaps.

“She?”

They race past The Big Donut at the corner. Greg’s stomach gurgles on automatic (good grief, did he really forget to eat dinner again?), but he pays it no attention. Not now, not when his son is hurt, not when he needs him, not when he—

“This new Gem who popped up out of nowhere today! Bismuth. She’s apparently like one of Garnet and Pearl’s old Crystal Gem buddies, and I thought she was pretty okay for a bit, but then Steven just up and disappears, and when he comes back he’s with her and he’s split apart, and one of them is cracked, a—”

“Wait, wait, wait- hold on, you keeping saying that, that he’s split apart?”

She nods in confirmation. Greg can practically feel the age weighing on his body as his bare feet leave the boardwalk to scurry through the sand. His pace doubles, the mere thought of his son injured and (dying??) in pain thrumming in his mind like a rocker’s drumbeat.

“W-what does that even- is there blood, is he still breathing??” he cries, yanking at his hair.

Realization dawns on her face in a wide mouthed ‘o’ as she’s met with his near-meltdown. “Oh. OH, no I didn’t mean like, ‘cut in half’ split apart, I mean that he’s literally fallen apart! There’s squishy organic Steven, and then there’s like this creepy hard-light Steven that’s entirely projected by his gem!”

“His gem fell out of his body!?”

“Dude,” she says, motioning sharply towards the cliffside, “we ain’t got no time to discuss the nitty gritty of this, we gotta hurry!”

With that, she pushes ahead of him, leaving him completely in the dust- er, sand.

“No time to- Amethyst,” he shouts after her, “for all I‘m aware my son could be dying ‘cause of that, I need to know!!”

Amethyst doesn’t listen, though. Her gemstone glows bright purple, and she disappears into a sphere of white light that rips across the shore at a speed equivalent to that of a stock-car racer. Or faster, maybe— he genuinely doesn’t know. She’s at very least spinning fast enough to generate a mini sonic boom. 

“Wait! WAIT!” he yells, throwing his hand in the air as he digs deep for every last scrap of strength he can muster. Alas, a sharp pull in his calves forces him to slow to a stop. He doubles over with his hands braced on his knees, heaving for breath. “I’m not a young man anymore!“

A distant, disembodied voice shoots his way from somewhere on the other side of the cliff. “Just run faster, you’re only like, 40 or somethin’.”

“I can’t!” he says, his words strained with rising dread. “That’s the problem!”

Chapter Text

“—It’s a Pink Diamond.”

Garnet’s words hang over them as heavy as a damp, woolen shroud… as commanding in his presence as the hands of the temple are, whenever he’s out playing on the beach under their monumental shadow. Shifting with discomfort in her arms, he squints. He may not be in much of a state to muse and ponder, what with all his senses still feeling so distorted and hollow, but rampant curiosity beckons him to follow this thread of confusion anyways. Given their horrified reactions, it’s clear that this reveal holds far more meaning to everyone else than it does for him. Did the Gems even mention any Pink Diamond before? He doesn’t think they did. And sure, he knows a little bit about the so-called Great Diamond Authority, mainly how they tend to destroy all life on whatever fertile planets they come across to serve their own colonization efforts— and thanks to Peridot’s failed attempt at diplomacy a while back he’s actually seen Yellow Diamond— but Pink? It doesn’t ring any bells. To be fair, the Gems still aren’t super transparent about much of their involvement in Earth’s history, but if she’s supposed to be important, then—

“And how is that even possible?” Bismuth outbursts. Like an overfilled balloon, the tension pops. “Pink was shattered! And we knew Rose, we- we all fought by her side against Pink’s armies, she—”

As the two of them continue to tussle over this revelation, he realizes with a jolt that Pink Diamond’s existence has been staring him in the face this whole time. “Holy moley,” he breathes to himself, eyes blowing wide as saucers. Of course! How did he not think of this before? The symbols on the ancient sky arena bear a fourth diamond, where more recent Gem structures do not. What color was that fourth diamond? Pink. Back in August, just past his birthday, his family popped up to the moon base on Lion’s back for a quick mission. On the bottom floor of that base, the Diamonds are depicted in monolithic murals that are like, fifty feet tall at least. Probably even bigger. And how many does he remember seeing? Four. Blue, Peridot’s Yellow, White, and…

The last mural was Pink.

And somehow, according to Garnet’s whispered declaration, Pink Diamond was… Rose? His mom? And so as the inheritor of her gem… so is Steven…? In a way? Geeze, this is so confusing.

“Garnet?!” Pearl calls, and he realizes then that his guardian’s body is quivering. Her arms still wrap around him with protective fervor, but their hold is progressively weakening. Her mouth contorts into a pained grimace.

“Garnet, what’s wro—” he reaches out, intending to give the side of her head an affectionate pat, but then her form begins to glow white. All at once, she loses control.

He’s unable to hold back his yelp when her grip on him gives up, incapable of bearing his weight in this anguished condition. Bedspread and all, he tumbles to the hard stone, unraveling from the mass of blankets like a ball of yarn. Pearl rushes to his side in a flash, one hand draped across his back and the other still clutching his gem like a desperate lifeline. With her assistance he pulls himself to his knees, limbs shaking with the effort, and turns to set his gaze on Garnet. His throat seizes taut at the mere sight of the agony she’s in right now.

She’s bent over, arms crossed and fingers desperately clawing into her illusory skin as if such raw force is the only way she can avoid splintering into two. Her teeth clench tight.

“Not the time, not the time, not the time,” she chants to herself. Her body morphs, almost pulling apart into smaller halves.

Almost.

A few stilted moments pass, only noticeable via the frantic but irregular beating of his heart, and miraculously Garnet is still together by the end of it. Her form solidifies. The two gems on her hands stop glowing. With the skittishness of a stray cat, a wide eyed Bismuth approaches and clasps a solid hand upon her shoulder.

“You okay?” she asks, genuine concern tinting her voice.

“I—” Garnet pauses, her mouth falling slack. “For now. But don’t think this changes anything,” she adds quickly, shrugging away and piercing her with the same sort of intense look he’s on the receiving end of whenever he’s in trouble.

She holds her palms outstretched in a placating plea. “Just tryin’ to help where I can, no need to cut your facets down a size.”

“Believe me, you’ve already done enough.”

Pearl taps her foot against the splintered stone with marked impatience, still holding his inert gem. “The fountain is just around the corner,” she reminds them, clear impatience coloring her tone. “Steven, can you walk?”

His brow creases. That’s a good question— can he? He definitely couldn’t move under his own power back at the forge, but is anything different now that the gem half of him is poofed? He did feel a little less staticky after that. It doesn’t change the fact that he’s still… hollow, still playing the part of a one-legged contender in a three-legged race here, but the lessened pain is a relief. So maybe it’s possible he’s regained a bit of his strength by now. Let’s see… 

He moves one bare foot under him and tries putting a little weight on it to stand up. Not a single step is necessary to tell him that his knees would buckle instantly.

“Uh—” he tries to ignore the subtle beads of sweat forming at his hairline as he waters down the truth for them— “maybe if I’m leaning on someone?”

“Excellent!” she says, with a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Here, take my arm, and I’ll lead you the last few steps.”

“And you,” Garnet growls, striding across to Pearl.

She flinches, her pupils shrinking to mere pinpricks in the shadow of her friend’s anger. His gut coils at the sight. Suddenly he’s unable to shake the unhappy memories of the last time the two of them fought.

“Wha- me?”

“You knew.”

Her ivory cheeks flush bright blue. “I—”

All further words are cut off as she slaps her palm to her mouth. She trembles violently, her horrified gaze snapping to that hand as if it’s something invasive and doesn’t belong there.

Bismuth also advances upon her. “You do seem rather calm about all this,” she points out, crossing her arms.

The presumptuousness of this comment is enough drive for Pearl to wrench her hand away and channel all her nervous energy in a decisive response. “And for someone who just tried to shatter the most important person on this planet to me, you don’t seem panicked enough,” she spits, taking a bold step forwards. 

“Oh, please! Save your words!” Garnet interjects, jabbing her finger down at her. “Admit it. You knew, you knew Rose was Pink Diamond this whole time!”

“Y’ guys!” he cries from his position on the rough stone, watching in dismay as the two of them once again devolve into meaningless conflict. Kneeling there behind them, his mind can’t help but fixate on the sense of ice cold dread that’s penetrating deep through his skin and streaming into his veins through the tiniest capillaries— an immobilizing sense of emotional helplessness that rivals that which the loss of his gem gives— or is that merely the morning chill seeping through his clothes? It’s hard to tell.

“You lied to us. To your family! To me, to Amethyst… to Steven…”

Rapidly, Pearl shakes her head. “I-it was never my intention to—”

“But the worst part is, I trusted you so implicitly on these types of matters that I never saw this betrayal coming, not ever!”

“Garnet, please,” she begs, “you have to understand, there are some things that are simply impossible for me to explain!”

“Try anyway,” she snarls, and summons a single gauntlet over her ruby gem.

“I’m trying to tell you, I literally can’t!”

“But why not?!”

The mounting helplessness swells like a sickness within him until it runs clear out of space in his young, delicate heart. Something within him shifts and clicks into place, a key he never knew he possessed jostling those stubborn tumblers out of the way until it can slot seamlessly to the rear of the lock. His fingers clench inwards, closing into rigid fists as the anger boils over. Is he the child here, or is it everyone else?! No one’s listening to each other anymore, they’re all just… self destructing over petty blame and fears and long-gone history he doesn’t even understand! What’s the point of all this? Do they even care about Steven? Do they care that his gem is cracked?? Or that he— the body left behind— feels nothing but lost, purposeless… split apart and scared?

He slams his eyes shut.

“STOOOP!” he hollers, straining his voice as loud as he can make it.

The Gems are shamed into spellbinding silence as they spin on their heels to plant their attention back on him.

Good, he thinks, breathing heavy. They should feel ashamed.

He hobbles across to Garnet on his knees, the patterns of the stone’s grain almost distinguishable through the fabric of his jeans. When he throws his arms around her leg, she lowers her gauntlet… ever so slowly. Pearl breaths a visible sigh of relief.

“Come on, stop fighting,” he begs, blinking up at both of them through wide, red rimmed eyes. “You two love each other! And if you love me, then…”

He pulls away, and gestures towards the gem in Pearl’s grasp. His fingers open wide, ready to take hold of it himself… ready to feel halfway real again.

“Let me have it, please.”

She’s about to do just that when the bridge of Bismuth‘s nose crinkles with alarm. “But wait,” she butts in, pushing herself between them, “if we fix the crack, when Pink reforms, how do we know she won’t—”

“It’s not her anymore,” he says insistently, fighting within every inch of his life to keep the full intensity of his frustration with her out of the micro expressions of his face. “It’s me! You all saw him.” Taking a deep breath, he sits back on his heels and takes this moment to make eye contact with each one of them in turn. “Listen, I know there’s a lot you’re upset about, and a lot we still don’t understand. I mean, I don’t even know who this Pink Diamond is! But all the arguing’s gotta stop. If we’re going to figure this out, it has to be together. It has to. Okay?”

Pearl gives a stiff nod, her mouth pressing into a thin line. She silences any further argument from Bismuth in a single acerbic glare, the broader Gem backing away as if standing on hot coals, and suddenly he understands why people used to call her the ‘terrifying renegade pearl.’ Her expression softens when she turns to him, though. She extends the gemstone to him like a sacred offering, guiding it into his hands. They hold it together for a moment, and as his quivering thumbs stroke its glassy surface he swears he can sense faint vibrations from within. Damaged, but still so very much brimming with life.

“It’s not about us,” she says, and releases the gem to his care. She peers up at Garnet, inclining her brow pointedly. “It’s about him.”

Upon hearing her earlier words thrown back at her, the fusion sighs wearily. She drops her gauntlet laden arm to her side, and lets the weapon phase back into her gem. Like steam dissipating with exposure to chilled air, it’s clear all the fight’s been drained out of her by this point anyways. 

“You’re right, Steven. Of course you are. We‘re wrong to jump to such brazen conclusions with so little information to work with.”

“Yeah, exactly!” he chimes, lifting his pink gemstone to eye level and admiring the way the light refracts through its facets— though this refraction is of course thrown off by the jagged gouge marring its flat pentagonal center. “For all we know, maybe you got a bit carried away and this gem’s just a regular ol’ rose quartz after all!”

“No, that’s definitely a diamond.”

The bluntness of this statement wipes the faint smile off his face.

“…oh.”

“But you made a good point,” Garnet says, and at noticing his stress ruffles his hair. “No matter what we feel, it’s not her. It’s your gem now. So, we’re gonna mend it.”

Pearl loops her arm through his, pulling him up. For the first time since all this madness began he plants his bare feet firm on solid ground. His knees wobble in his exhaustion, and he inhales sharply— an intrusive image of him collapsing, dropping his gem, and watching it shatter into a zillion tiny shards zipping through his mind like lightning. But his guardian holds steady, keeping him from toppling over.

“That’s it, small steps,” she whispers, guiding him. “We’ll walk slowly, okay?”

Garnet promptly falls in line behind them, and he can only assume Bismuth tries to follow as well because he hears Garnet bark for her to stay back. He swivels to match eyes with the Gem who cracked him— a flurry of complicated emotions swirling within him soul that he’s definitely not ready to unpack, not now, not yet— and watches her face crumple as they leave her behind. The foliage thins. In no time at all they reach the vast, glittering basin, filled to the brim with his mom’s healing tears. Adorning the central platform of the grand fountain, that familiar ringlet laden statue looms over them. He thought it almost ethereal the first time he visited this place, but seeing it now just serves to leave him with an awful knot in his stomach, directly under the blemish-less span of skin where by all rights his mother’s gem should be embedded. Knowing the bitter truth they do now— that she had some sort of hidden identity she never told anyone except maybe Pearl about— the peaceful smile painstakingly etched across her stone visage feels like a mockery.

Pearl leads him to the fountain’s edge and helps him sit on its rim. Both her and Garnet join him on either side. Basking in the morning sun’s warmth, it’s easy to forget that it’s supposed to be like… one AM back in Beach City or whatever, and that he’s not even supposed to be awake right now. His eyelids droop. Sheesh. Hopefully this nightmare will all be over soon, because the only thing he wants right now is to collapse in his bed, cuddle with MC Bear-Bear, and have the deepest, most dreamless sleep of his life. His glance drops to the diamond in his hands.

“Well,” he says, a noticeable shake in his voice. “Here goes nothing.”

Slowly and oh-so-carefully, he plunges the gem under the water’s surface. The three of them watch, enraptured, as its surface glows with shimmering brilliance. The deep crack splayed across its pentagonal facet begins to recede. He counts three seconds… then five… then ten… by fifteen, the gouge is gone entirely. Eyes sparkling, he lifts the gem into the air to show the others.

“Maybe we should come here more often, ‘coz I think this is the glossiest this gem’s ever been,” he quips with a weak laugh.

“Oh, thank goodness!” Pearl sighs, and throws herself around him.

Garnet joins her in the embrace, and with a sniffle, he buries his face in the crook of her arm. His eyes flutter shut as he allows his worries to momentarily melt away. The faint vibrations of their hard-light bodies thrum steadily in time with his stilted heartbeat. Gems may not have a physical heart like humans or other kinds of organic life, but Pearl taught him that their gemstones constantly refresh their forms through the channels of light running from their core outward, and that in practice it’s pretty similar to the blood pumping through his circulatory system. In any case, the sensation is a comforting reminder that he’s safe in their hold.

“Now… can we agree to talk about all this peacefully, without yelling?” he says, feeling much like his dad must on the rare occasion he needs to scold him.

“Of course,” Garnet says with one of her customary half-smiles. After giving him one last squeeze, she pulls away. “Bismuth!” she calls. “Your damage has been fixed. You can come out from the tree you’re sulking behind now.”

Still clutching him tight, Pearl stiffens. “Wha-! After what she did to Steven, you’re just going to let her—?”

She tips down her visor, regarding her directly. “Believe me,” she mutters, voice brimming with rock solid assurance, “she won’t be trying that again.”

Pearl aids him in sitting down with his back against the fountain’s lip as the other Crystal Gem rejoins the group. Bismuth’s fingers fidget almost hyperactively, clasping and folding themselves over and over and over again in front of her blacksmith’s apron. He watches her gaze drift to the gem he holds in his lap, and while she seems calmer than before now that it's mended, there’s an undeniable fear lurking underneath her splintering veneer of composure as well. His shoulders hunch. Is that what his mother’s shadowy past evokes in everyone? Fear?

Oh geeze. He’s honestly beginning to wish he never popped that bubble in Lion’s mane in the first place.

“Pearl, can you tell us anything about Pink Diamond and Rose?” he asks, opening the conversation.

She bites at her lip, glancing between the three of them. Garnet regards her with an especially careful focus as she considers her response.

“No…”

He frowns. “But you want to, right?”

“More than anything,” she whispers, her powder blue irises glistening.

Apparently her words enclose some sort of hidden meaning, because the tenseness in Garnet’s expression pulls away in a flash, a wave of curative understanding crashing onto shore to replace it. “Gag order.”

His nose crinkles. “What’s that? It doesn’t sound very nice.”

“That’s because it isn’t. The diamonds have the capability of giving irrefutable orders to Gems who are bound to them,” the fusion explains, crossing her arms. “Such as, individuals in their court who were bestowed as gifts, or… personal pearls. Pink Diamond must have commanded her not to speak of her true identity.”

“So hold on. Lemme see if I can get this straight. You think,” Bismuth begins, and points directly at Pearl, “that before the rebellion she was Pink Diamond’s personal pearl? Our lone Pearl?”

The Gem in question shifts upon the fountain’s rim with discomfort amidst the other two’s prying discussion, clamping her lips tight. Sensing the sheer distress clouding her senses, he leans into her, pressing his cheek against her upper arm. Her form quivers upon her sharp exhale.

Garnet nods. “Yes, I do.”

“And then somehow, Rose Quartz, respected leader of that rebellion, was actually the diamond were were supposedly fighting against all along? Was fake? Just some false persona? Staged her own shattering?? But why would some spoiled, imperialistic scrap of upper crust do that in the first place? None of this makes any sense!”

“If I could actually explain anything, it’d make more sense than you’d expect,” Pearl says, her features narrowed.

“Maybe she just wanted to be Rose Quartz,” he shrugs. “Is that so bad?”

Garnet adjusts her opaque glasses. “Depends on what her motives were. See, I thought I knew Rose. Knew what she stood for. Now I have no way of being sure.” She pauses, gazing vacantly between him and Bismuth. “None of us do.”

The group lapses into uncomfortable silence upon this statement, their sense of morale deflating further and further as the moment stretches on. That sick, twisted feeling in his gut returns with a vengeance. Talking is still leagues better than fighting, but… now his family is suspicious and tense, battered and broken. He doesn’t want this. He wants everyone working as a team, laughing and living and celebrating their victories together! Desperate, he looks to Garnet.

“But… Pearl can find a way to get around that gag order eventually, can’t she? Then she can tell us everything herself!”

“I’ve tried,” the ivory Gem blurts out, hugging her knees to her chest. “Ever since Homeworld Gems started returning to this planet I’ve tried everything I could think of to get around it, but it’s been a part of me for so long that I don’t know if I can.”

“Tampering with a Diamond’s commands is too risky. A Gem could shatter under that pressure,” Garnet says. Delicately, she rests her hand on Pearl’s shoulder. “I’ve lost too many friends to this war. As much as I wish to know the truth now, I won’t risk another.”

Tears bud at the corner of Pearl’s eyes, which she quickly dabs away with the butt of her palm. Sniffling, she throws herself into Garnet’s arms like the intimacy of close contact is the only salve to such long harbored inner pain. Her embrace is gladly reciprocated. 

He breaths out a heavy sigh of relief he didn’t realize he was holding onto. Oh thank goodness. The conflict between Garnet and Pearl, at very least, seems to have ended. His frazzled attention wanders for a bit as the Gems continue to chat about whatever, taking time to admire the scenery. In the lush, overgrown garden surrounding the fountain, a flurry of birds begin their morning songs, their lilting chirps meshing together until they coalesce into a grand symphony of complex melodies. It’s achingly beautiful, and since song birds like these don’t nest near his home he finds himself mesmerized. There’s a bizarre dissonance, however, between the content mood their singing encourages and the dour shadow he can’t seem to escape from under. A golf ball sized lump catching in his throat, his attention returns to the quartz pink diamond in his lap. The diamond that should be sitting flush in his belly right now, completing him, its weight as ordinary and familiar as the clothes on his back. He splays his hand over his stomach. Even if he’s beginning to recover from the initial shock by now, the lingering absence of his gem still haunts him to his core, still feels like someone’s sliced into the central cavity of his chest and yanked out one of his essential organs there. This gem has always been a part of Steven, ever since he was born, but now, because of what Bismuth did, because he wasn’t careful enough…

His eyes burn, growing damp.

“So... is this it?” he says, gesturing towards the gem in his lap. “Does this mean we’re just split forever?”

“Oh, Steven,” Pearl breathes, and pulls him into her arms. 

(And once again, being addressed by that name just feels wrong, like he’s the runt of a litter trying to masquerade as a lion, as something he never was.)

He’s no Steven at all, not in this state.

The dams break, and hot, sloppy tears roll down his cheeks.

“You’ll always be a Crystal Gem to us, no matter what form you take,” Garnet says softly, tracing abstract shapes on his back as he cries.

“But I won’t have my shield!” he blubbers, voice thick. “Without my gem I won’t have any of those powers! Without him, I can barely do anything! And— a-and if I’m just some— some weakling human now, and humans can’t fuse with Gems, then how—”

“We wait and see. You’ll be alright, I promise.”

“I hear footsteps approaching,” Bismuth says then, snapping to a ready stance. Bounding in front of them with the force of a door slamming shut, she morphs her fist into a mallet.

Sure enough, true to her claim he hears movement nearby— and as it grows closer, wonderfully familiar voices too. His heart soars. When did they miss the sound of the warp pad activating?

Pearl bristles. “Put that away, it’s just Amethyst and Greg.”

“Greg? What kinda Gem’s a Greg?” she asks, brow creasing.

“He’s not a Gem, he’s my dad!”

Fresh tears spring forth as he catches a glimpse of the pair approaching from the distance. They emerge into the clearing at a generous clip, forms no longer obscured by the trees’ shadows. Amethyst’s features are wide and frantic, and his dad hauls the forgotten bedspread they left behind midway to the fountain. He’s breathing heavy as he plods along, almost wheezing. They match eyes simultaneously.

“Dad!” he cries, hoarse.

“Steven! I’m coming!”

His dad hastens his pace, scurrying across the remainder of the clearing on his last burst of adrenaline quicker than even Amethyst. He almost trips on a dangling edge of the comforter but catches himself a heartbeat before disaster. Shaking his head he tosses the whole mass of fabric to the ground and keeps running. 

He thrusts his gem into Pearl’s care and— daringly, on his own strength— pushes himself to his feet. His knees almost buckle, but through either a miracle or sheer Universe stubbornness he somehow manages to carve his way across the rough hewn stone to the one person he needs right now more than anyone in the world. With the rest of the Crystal Gems in witness, he bounds towards the promise of his dad’s cozy embrace. But then… at the very last step, his legs finally give out. His breath hitches. Unable to stop himself, he starts to crumple—

“Woah-ho there!” Dad exclaims, catching him just as he’s about to crash knee-first into the rocky ground. “We don’t need you hurting yourself again…”

“I’m okay now!” he says, swaying unevenly in his hold. “Mostly. I’m- I don’t know how much Amethyst told you, but I’m okay.”

The rigidity in his dad’s body increases tenfold as he pulls him even closer, his tear stained cheek pressing against the hem of Dad’s sweaty old tank top.

“She said that- that you’d split apart or something, and your gem was cracked, and—”

“Dad, you’re kinda squishing me,” he says, voice muffled against his chest.

“Oh, whoops!” he chuckles, and eases up on him. “Guess I’m just really glad to see you moving and alert. Sorry we took so long, Schtu-ball. Your ol’ man ain’t as agile as he used to be.”

He flashes his dad what he hopes is a reassuring smile, and wipes his face dry. A hand lays itself on his shoulder then, and he turns his head to find Amethyst peering at him in noted interest.

“Yo, so where’d your creepy twin go?”

Pearl crosses her arms. “Amethyst!”

“Did you guys, like, deal with his crack yet?” she asks, completely ignoring the other Gem’s chastising. He has to admit, ignoring the jab she made at Other Steven, the level of concern etched upon her face is genuinely touching.

“Uh, he kinda poofed?” he says, gesturing towards the rest of the Gems. “But the gem’s fixed! Pearl has it.”

Pearl lifts the diamond so they can all see. Its facets catch the sun's glow, scattering the light in all directions. His dad’s face grows pale at the sight.

“Man, and here I thought you were exaggerating,” he mutters to Amethyst.

She shrugs widely. “Maybe about everything else, but not when it’s actually serious.”

“What I don’t understand is how it happened. That gem’s huge! And it’s not like it’s gonna fall right out. How on Earth did you lose it anyway?”

Garnet and Pearl shoot a poisonous glance in Bismuth’s direction. If it were subtle that'd be one thing, but it's blatant enough that all other conversation runs silent. His skin nearly crawls in the awkward silence. He can feel sweat bead on his brow as he watches his dad's expression grow taut. 

“Whoa," Amethyst says, holding up her hands. "I’m, uh, feeling some real uncomfortable vibes here. What’d I miss?”

He gives a nervous laugh, and runs his hand through the curls at the nape of his neck.

“Well… that’s kinda a long story.”

Chapter Text

“So… hold on,” Greg says slowly, raising his hand to cut off the others’ incessant yammering. “Just let me- lemme take a moment to see if I can properly wrap my head around all of this. So you’re saying that—”

He turns on the one they identified as Bismuth, pointing at her with such tempered ferocity that his finger might as well be a— what did they call it again? Oh, yes!— a ‘breaking point’ itself.

“—she tried to kill my son by smashing his gem?”

“Mmmhmm,” Garnet nods.

As usual her eyes are entirely hidden behind her opaque visor, something that always made getting to know the Gem particularly daunting in those early days, but by now he’s close enough to infer her full disposition from her body language and tone alone. And as far as he can tell from the clipped words and stiff movements, she’s downright pissed. The full brunt of her anger is thankfully restrained… he imagines for Steven’s sake… but oh boy, remind him to never get on her bad side. He hugs his son closer, the boy currently nestled against his midsection and sitting on the fountain’s rim.

The rest of the Crystal Gems (minus Bismuth, who stands a good few paces away in her shame) are spread out all around them, with Amethyst sitting right next to Steven and Garnet perched on his other side. Pearl, meanwhile, chooses to kneel on the ground. She’s safekeeping a surprisingly deep-cut gemstone in her lap, the very same gemstone that Rose passed down to their son all those years ago. The gemstone that should be embedded at said son’s midsection right now. He tugs at his hair (a bad habit of his), finding his thoughts growing more and more fragmented over this by the second.

“But,” he continues, using his fingers to try and keep track of the many players in this story, “she only tried to kill him because she thought he was Rose… who bubbled her thousands of years ago because Bismuth wanted her to shatter Pink Diamond. But then Rose actually was Pink Diamond this whole time? A-and so she… must’ve staged her own murder, which was committed by… herself? And then got away with it.”

“Yup, that’s pretty much it,” Steven says with a faint laugh, no amount of falsified cheer able to conceal the bitter conflict brewing within him. Greg watches him clutch at the bottom hem of his shirt with a tight frown, and his heart nearly shatters right there on its own. His boy’s grown worryingly savvy as of late, plastering on a brave face whenever he thinks the others can’t handle the full burden of a child’s stress. He probably assumes he’s getting away with it, too. Big mistake. One of the many things fathers grow attuned to over the years is the habits and facial tics of their children. All that said, if this is troubling for him, he can’t begin to imagine how traumatic and confusing this upheaval is for Steven.

God, and he’s only fourteen! He shouldn’t have to deal with any of the fallout of Rose’s war, let alone this.

“And then,” Greg continues, gesturing between his son and the pink gem Pearl’s holding, “before she could actually kill him he… split in two?”

“It was almost like he abruptly unfused,” Bismuth supplies, maintaining a healthy distance from the rest of the group.

“But it didn’t feel like real fusion at all,” Steven says, and shudders. “It hurt, it hurt really bad.”

“He was unconscious for at least a minute. The half with the gem started screaming and tried to fight me away from him but I knew I had to get him off the forge’s surface so he didn’t burn.” The rainbow haired Gem hangs her head in shame. “I was so, so worried he wouldn’t wake up ‘coz of me.”

“Yeah, sure ya’ were,” Amethyst spits, and crosses her arms.

Pearl’s eyes narrow with pinpoint intensity. “Amethyst, please. Not now.”

Greg hums under his breath, drinking in the current dynamics of the scene as the Gems continue their back-and-forth dialogue. Contrary to whatever assumptions he may have held about her before, Bismuth shows no inclination to deny what she’s done. Instead, she stands stiff. Withdrawn. Repentant, perhaps. She certainly appears just as haunted by the consequences of her mistake as Steven is, after all. Her broad fingers twitch and yearn, looking as if they crave some aimless bauble to tinker with, or something. As someone who frequently seeks out the reliable comfort of improvised chords on his guitar in times of stress, he can relate. 

Of course, far be it for him to excuse this new Gem’s actions when they almost cost him his only child, but at least she has the decency to express even a shred of remorse over it. He’s furious at her, he truly is, and yet… He also can’t help but feel a twinge of pity lighten his heart upon hearing her complicated side of the story. Heh. It’s funny how parenthood changes a man. In the past he’d be more apt to harbor a stone cold grudge over this sort of stuff, but now—? 

He blames his kid’s influence.

“No, listen— you don’t get it. I was angry at Rose, not Steven,” Bismuth tries to explain as he tunes back in to the conversation. “I was so sure that this was all just another one of her lies that I— well, you all know. But when I saw what I’d done… when they split apart and this one fell to the ground, I—!”

Her voice cracks, and he watches her nearly crumble to pieces like cheap chalk.

“I- I knew I made a terrible mistake,” she finishes.

“‘Kay, so you’re super sorry and promise to never hurt him again, we get it,” Amethyst says, blunt sarcasm oozing from her words. “But seriously, is no one gonna address the ginormous cluster hangin’ over our heads? Y’guys! New headline! We just found out Rose was a total sham!”

Steven holds up a finger as he interjects. “Actually, we don’t know anything except that she was somehow Pink Diamond, but…”

“Yeah, and Pink D’s like, the bad guy, Steven! She’s the reason they had to fight this whole stupid war in the first place! And then, what? She creates you just so she doesn’t have to deal with the fact she’s a liar?”

The young teen shrinks away from her anger, a heavy lump forming in his throat. Greg’s jaw clenches. Protective dad instincts rushing into overdrive, he pulls his arm in tighter around his son’s midsection, reaffirming his unequivocal support. Good grief, Amethyst’s comment was absolutely out of line.

“None of this is Steven’s fault,” Garnet says quietly, always and forever the voice of reason in this group. Grip firm, she places her sapphire laden hand on the purple Gem’s shoulder to quiet her down. She shrugs away at her touch, lips jutting into a pout.

“Or any of yours’,” Pearl says.

Greg’s eyes lock on the slender Gem at her abrupt comment, and he watches with apt attention as her thumb glides across the largest facet of the diamond in her lap. Hearing her voice comes as a bit of a surprise, given she’s been unusually absent from this conversation thus far. It seems none of the others want to talk about it in depth right now, but from what Steven told him she’s forbidden from mentioning anything about Pink Diamond, her words on the topic quite literally locked away. It’s yet another betrayal, yet another reason why the sight of the rose blossoms growing wild around them and the delicately carved curly-haired statue at the fountain’s center leaves him with uncertainty gnawing at the pit of his stomach.

And yet… and yet.

What if he’s being a hypocrite about all of this? It’s not like he told Rose everything about his past, either. Rose was a diamond, sure, but— he’s a DeMayo. There’s a number of shadowy days attached to that name he’d rather let die in the past too. Are they really entitled to the full narrative of the life she left behind? Is anyone?

He scratches at his scalp. “Listen, Amethyst. I understand all of you are upset, and rightfully so. I can’t exactly say I’m thrilled to hear all of this either. But the bottom line is… I know the woman I loved. Maybe not for as long as some of you, but… if there’s one thing I can say with absolute certainty, it’s that despite her mistakes, despite everything she clearly omitted about her past, her love and respect for all of you was not a sham.”

Pearl nods. “I almost can’t believe I’m agreeing with Greg of all people, but he’s right.”

“And you’re entitled to believe that,” Garnet says evenly. “But no matter what you believe, I still think it’s wise to try not to make assumptions about her in the first place. Either good, or bad. At this point, what we know is what we know, and I can’t sense any easy way of changing that in the near future.”

“So, what are we supposed to do about all this, then?” Amethyst asks, all her earlier anger dissipated in her exhaustion. “Like… who are we as the Crystal Gems anymore if everything we knew about her was a lie?”

She considers this for a second, visor glinting in the glow of sunrise.

“Nothing.”

“What?”

The fusion doesn’t budge an inch. “We don’t change our tactics.”

“But- but if she was our leader, and we always just blindly followed whatever she wanted, then—”

“No matter her original intentions, the Crystal Gems, as a movement, is far bigger than one diamond,” she says. “We move onward. We thrive. Never mind Rose.”

(That last statement is made through gritted teeth, leaving Greg suspicious that Garnet’s caught in a fierce battle to convince herself of that aim.) 

Steven squirms in his embrace, and in a small, timid voice— a jarring reminder of the child he still is despite his recent leap in emotional maturity— asks the question he’s sure has been weighing on him ever since he got split apart in the first place.

“What about me? What about my—“ he tries and fails to stifle a yawn— “my gem? What am I supposed to do now?”

“We’ll deal with your Gem half when he reforms, and he will,” Garnet says gently. “But right now, you need your rest. We all do. Pearl, Amethyst, help him to the temple and get him tucked into bed. Bismuth, Greg. Stay behind. I need to speak with both of you.”

Everyone nods at the Crystal Gem leader’s directions, acting accordingly. Greg helps Steven stand to his feet, never mind how his eyes are drooping the same as his. (Ugh… it’s supposed to be night, and yet this place is painted in streams of orange and pink and bursting by chirping meadowlarks. He’ll likely never get used to all the rapid time zone shifts warping across the skin of the planet causes.) His son’s knees still quiver as he shifts his weight under him but this time he doesn’t crumple. He passes him off to Pearl— still holding his gem— who loops her other arm through his and begins to lead him towards the warp pad home. Amethyst follows but noticeably lags behind, remnants of guilt splattered across her expression as clear as day. The purple Gem delivers one final glance at Bismuth, razor sharp and flaring with hurt, and then disappears beyond the orchard’s shadow.

A palpable silence brews between the two remaining Gems.

Greg’s gaze passes between the two of them a good number of times, his head swiveling back and forth like he’s watching a silent, stoic game of beach volleyball. He blows a nervous puff of air from between his lips, sweat beading on his brow. Geeze. He’s gotten around over the years, but this sure takes the cake for the most uncomfortable staring match he’s ever watched. It’s like the two of them are locked in a war of their own making— both simultaneously daring yet pleading for the other to say something… anything at all… if it might diffuse the unholy levels of tension wafting through the atmosphere of this space.

He swallows hard. If neither of these goddamn stubborn people are going to be the one to break the silence, it may as well be him, right? Timidly, he taps his fingertips together. “So, uh… you said you needed us for something, or—?”

“If you’re going to bubble me away again, just say it, okay?” Bismuth blurts out then, hanging her head in resignation. “I know what I did was completely out of line, and I- I deserve the punishment, so…”

Ever so subtly, Garnet tilts her head as if caught off guard by the visceral hurt pooling in the other Gem's words. Her fists are clenched, but her tone remains steady.

“We’re not bubbling you.”

“What? You’re—?”

“I won’t lie to you. I’m furious about what you’ve done tonight. You put Steven’s life in grave danger and implicated him in matters he had nothing to do with. If something like this happened on Homeworld, you’d be shattered for it.”

Greg winces at the mention of that word— of that horrid, horrid fate— and so too, it seems, does Bismuth. From what he’s gathered over his years knowing the Gems, to be shattered is a fate far worse than death. To put it in more human terms, it’s like… if one’s very ashes were conscious of the person they used to be, but scattered as they are, had no way to become that person again. It’s unimaginable. Barbaric. 

(And to think it almost happened, to his only son, no less.)

Garnet lets out a long, weary sigh, some of the rigidity in her hands releasing.

“But… I refuse to be like Homeworld, and I refuse to be like Rose. She hid you away because she was a coward, not because it was just. So no, I will not bubble you. You’ll remain free, as you are. However,” she says, holding up a finger before the other Gem can interject, “as consequence for striking and almost shattering a fellow Crystal Gem, until further notice you are no longer welcome in the temple. You will not seek us out. You will in no circumstance find yourself alone with Steven. If we desire your help and you are willing, we’ll call for it. But beyond that, until we’re ready to move past this, you’re on your own.”

Bismuth’s gaze turns towards her once more, sober in silent acceptance. Blinking to stave away the tears, she presses her lips together tight. The precise emotion flickering across her features is a bit nebulous, even to him— is this remorse about her exile, or shell shocked relief that she won’t be bubbled away for another five plus millennia?

“I encourage you to explore this planet as you reflect upon your actions,” Garnet continues. “I think you’ll find a lot has changed since the rebellion… and I think that with time, so can we all.”

“Am I relieved now?” she asks, voice thick and wavering.

She regards her with a long, searching look as she deliberates. “Yes. You may go.”

At first Bismuth spins on her heels, making to leave, but apparently something else stirs on her soul because she pauses. Taking a deep breath, she whirls back around to face the Crystal Gem leader.

“I know this probably doesn’t count for much after all that happened, but. I truly am sorry, for everything.” Then, in a surprising shift of expectations, she turns to regard him too, her gaze piercing but sincere. “Tell Steven that I hope he can forgive me one day.” And, to Garnet once again: “And tell Pearl I’m sorry for what she had to go through, with Pink.”

“I will.”

“Take care of them, would you? Yourself, too.”

Garnet nods. Perhaps as a final sign of goodwill between old war comrades, she offers her hand. The way she does leaves the sapphire on her palm fully exposed. Greg bets it’s a powerful and evocative gesture to a Gem who is being punished for almost shattering another. It’s a much needed salve, an acknowledgement that you can become a better person, and I trust that you already are.

Bismuth interlinks their fingers, and exhales shakily. “Goodbye, old friend. I hope I’ll see you again one day. And hey, if any of you ever… bismuth me,” she jokes with a weak laugh, “you know where I’ll be.”

She gives her hand a gentle squeeze, and then breaks away… anguished. Visibly fatigued. Her eyes can’t quite meet theirs as she summons the courage to leave.

“Go in peace,” Garnet says.

Greg and her watch in quiet respect as the rainbow haired Gem turns on a dime and departs from them, leaving both the fountain and the ranks of the Crystal Gems behind as she fades into the shadow of the trees. They wait. Not too long after, a bar of pure cyan light shoots to the sky, accompanied by that resonant bell-like tone he’s long associated with the warp pads. At the sound, a bit of the stress in his companion’s form finally eases. She reaches up her hand to wipe under her visor. Geeze, tonight’s really been a high emotion day for her too, huh? First she’s reunited with an old friend she hasn’t seen face to face in millennia, and then later that evening she’s met with the terrifying threat of Steven’s mortality… wherein she learns that this same old friend is the reason he’s cleaved apart and cracked to begin with. And then there’s all of Rose’s lies, which— as much as he loved the Gem— he’s sure he’ll also have to wrestle with in the coming season.

She sighs, and turns to him.

“And as for you...”

He scratches at his scalp. “Heh heh, am I in trouble too?”

She chuckles, lips turning up in a soft smile. “No, of course not. The truth is…” The smile fades to a whisper, replaced by sheer crystallized uncertainty. “I need your help. I can’t always… be here, to look after Steven.”

His brow creases. Such oddly specific words from such an articulate person. ‘Be here?’ What does she mean— that she’s leaving the other Gems? That she’s going on some extended mission? And why now, of all times?

“What do you mean?”

“My future vision is clouded, incomplete, but I can sense we’re approaching a crossroads.” She lays both gems on his shoulders, and suddenly her visor flashes away, her three eyes downright pouring into his, searching, beseeching. It’s the single most vulnerable expression he’s ever seen her convey.

“Greg. He trusts you and Connie with matters he doesn’t always trust us with. I know you’ve mostly kept your distance from Gem activities up to this point, but I fear the time is coming when you won’t be able to separate these worlds anymore. I need you to keep a close watch on him. For me. Promise me you’ll do that.”

“O- of course,” he says, mind nervously whirring with an infinitude of uncertain futures based on this new information, and— oh golly, does this even lay a finger to the unfiltered, overwhelming wealth of possibilities she can choose to envision every moment of every day? “But if you don’t mind me asking, what’s coming? What crossroads?”

“I don’t know,” she admits, her gaze falling wayward. “I can barely see the shape of our future anymore, only faint impressions. And… and that terrifies me. So much has changed so quickly.”

She’s nearly quivering, eyes blown wide, and Greg only now realizes the degree to which he took her unyielding strength for granted all this time. He rocks back and forth on the balls of his bare feet, reaching for an answer on what to do, on what to say to support a person who— until now— has never been in need of that support.

“Are… you at least handling things okay—ish?”

Garnet clamps her lips together, taking a moment to ground herself once more. Then with a intentional flick of her fingers, her visor shimmers back into place.

“No,” she says evenly. “No, I’m afraid I’m not.”

Greg exhales with a prolonged, meandering sigh when the two of them finally arrive back at the temple, solid crystal phasing into existence under his feet in a bright flash of glittering blue. Hoo boy… thank goodness that’s over. Warp travel sure makes him dizzy. Striving with every last inch of gumption his aging, aching body has left not to trip over himself in front of Garnet, he takes a slow, hesitant step down from the raised platform.

Despite how long he’s known the Gems, a trip through the warp stream like this is a rarity for him. (And after experiences like tonight’s, maybe that’s a good thing.) In the beginning this was mostly Pearl’s doing— with her staunch refusal of allowing humans anywhere near Gem structures vocal enough to convince Rose to leave him behind. Years later, of course, when it became clear to Pearl that he wasn’t just another ‘phase’ to Rose, she had no choice but to follow the fold and pretend to tolerate him. And thus, his unofficial ban was lifted. After this, Rose would sometimes whisk him away on a surprise romantic date in some exotic location— accessible only by warp, of course— and while he has many fond memories of his time with her in these breathtaking destinations he must admit he’s never been a big fan of this form of travel in the first place. He’s not keen on flying for similar reasons— it’s simply too disorientating for him. What can he say, he’s a wheels to the ground sort of guy.

He ambles along to the living area of the attached home, only pausing to collect Steven’s dirty comforter from Garnet’s offering hands. Oh yeah. Good memory, Garnet. He totally forgot to pick this up back at the fountain. He’ll have to find time to get this washed at some point tomorrow, huh? 

Upon hearing their arrival, Steven stirs awake and lifts his head. He’s bundled under a bunch of spare blankets in his lofted bed, dark bags emphasizing his puffy, reddened eyes. Greg’s heart seizes at the realization this sight brings— that he’s been crying all on his own in the dark, where no one can see or console him.

“Dad, Garnet!” he whispers, forcing a weak grin. “You’re back!”

He tosses the dirty comforter on the couch and bounds across the room to him as fast as his weary joints can manage

“Hey, buddy,” he says, climbing up the stairs to the loft. With a brief grunt of exertion he plops himself down at the foot of the mattress. “You all cozy now?”

His son snuggles even deeper under the blanket pile, clutching one of his stuffed bears to his chest. “Yup! All tucked in.”

“Good, good. I, uh- I’m really glad you’re okay.”

And at these words, exhaustion weighs Steven down like a twenty pound barbell, shattering his brave facade. He visibly deflates, his eyelids drooping.

“Yeah,” he exhales, blankly staring off into the distance. “I guess.”

Upon following the path of his glance, however, Greg realizes that he’s not staring at nothing. He’s watching Garnet first and foremost, who’s leaning against the fridge, but more importantly… Sitting smack dab in the middle of the kitchen counter is an inert gem, nestled within the cottony folds of a bath towel. 

Steven’s gem. 

Oh, of course. Stupid him. He should’ve realized. His chest altogether quivering with fatherly sympathy, he leans in for an embrace, and his son immediately reciprocates, flinging his arms around his neck so tight that given the option of comforting his kid or constant, steady airflow he’d choose to forgo the breathing every time.

“Can you sleep here tonight?” he asks, voice brimming with a vulnerability he hasn’t heard from him for a few years.

“Of course. I’ll never say no to a good couch, heh heh.”

“No, I mean— with me, up here. Please. I really, really don’t wanna be alone right now.”

His son pulls away, and peers at him with the most doleful, starry eyes one could muster. He can’t help but chuckle.

“You do know you ain’t gotta pull out the puppy dog eyes on me, right?”

“Yeah, but was it working?”

“All right,” Garnet interrupts, leisurely making her way up the steps to the loft. “Let’s get you back to bed.”

He nods in full agreement. It’s super late, and the kid looks in desperate need of rest after all the trauma of this evening. Working together, father and guardian, they help tuck him back in, snug and secure. Heeding to Steven’s request he crawls under the covers as well, leaning against the far wall. Distantly, he notes that he left his van unlocked when Amethyst whisked him away to the fountain, but by this point he’s too comfortable here on this mattress to even dream of making the trek across town to fix that. He’ll just have to trust that it’ll be fine. Beach City is a small, secluded place, after all. Most residents barely lock their doors at night.

“Garnet, am I… even able to fuse with my other half again?” Steven asks in a meek, almost hollow voice, before she can turn to leave them to rest.

She pauses, balling her fist against her mouth as she considers.

“I can’t see everything right now, but I do know that no matter the future, you’ll be alright,” she promises, and reaches down to brush through his dark curls. Delicately, she presses a kiss to his forehead. Steven’s eyes light up instantly. This time, he grins for real.

“Wow, Dad’s gonna make homemade waffles tomorrow? And we’re all sharing them as a family! Well, except Pearl, of course. But she’s still there with us!”

“That’s right. It’s together breakfast.”

The tension wound through Greg's spine eases at hope’s return to the atmosphere of this household. With a relieved smile, he rubs his hands together. “Guess I’m breaking out the ol’ waffle iron tomorrow, then!”

Steven throws his arms around his guardian. “Thank you,” he says, clinging tight. “I really needed that. Can you… maybe stay out here with us too?”

The puppy dog eyes return in force. Any weaker individual (himself included) would surely be powerless to resist this maelstrom of pure Universe charm, but Garnet’s no brittle Gem. From what little she confided to him back at the fountain, he bets she's in want of some alone time right now. True to his predictions, she smiles apologetically.

“I wish I could, but I have some delicate matters that need to be attended to in the temple.”

“Awwwww, man!”

“But I’ll see you at breakfast,” she adds before his burgeoning pout can fully reach his eyes.

This promise seems to placate the boy enough for him to relax into his pillow. His eyes droop as he watches Garnet amble down the stairs. He’s not the only one— Greg’s own eyes are beginning to ache from sheer exhaustion as well. A sudden spike of jealousy overtakes him, upon remembering how the rest of the Gems don’t get tired, and thus don’t require sleep. If only, if only. Oh boy, tomorrow’s going to be rough, isn’t it? It’s what… at least one in the morning by now? Squinting, he cranes his neck to catch a glimpse of Steven’s alarm clock.

It’s twelve forty-six. Close enough. With any luck though, he’ll drift off to sleep within the next fifteen or so minutes.

“I love you,” Garnet says from downstairs, directed at Steven. She shapes her fingers into a heart. His lips curve into a smile as he watches this. While he’s never doubted the depths of her affection for him, she isn't often this transparent about it. Perhaps she thought his son could use the reminder in the wake of a terrifying near-death experience.

“Love you too,” Steven chimes. “Goodnight!”

With that, the Gem retreats across the room to the temple door. She holds her palms up to the star insignia. The matching gems light up, glowing a vibrant blue and red, and the magical doorway slides open— almost as if dissolving from the middle— to reveal the private chamber held within. And with that, she steps forward and disappears into the bowels of the temple, leaving the two Universe boys bundled under the covers in an uneasy silence. Steven sighs under his breath. Greg can tell without looking at him that something is gnawing away at his son's heart, bubbling up within him like soda fizz. 

“Dad?” he eventually asks, flopping onto his side to face him. “Where’s Bismuth? Did she leave from the fountain?”

Yup, there it is. He feared this was coming.

“She’s—” he pauses, trying to determine how best to phrase this— “Garnet had a discussion with her. She’s not welcome here in the temple until further notice. As punishment.”

Understanding dawns on his face. “Ohhh, so she basically reverse grounded her.”

“Exiled, yes.”

“Huh.” Steven hugs his plush bear in the crook of his arm even tighter, and stares up at the ceiling beams with a concerningly numb expression. “Well… I guess that’s fair.”

Greg frowns.

“What’s eatin’ you up there, bud?”

“It’s just…" He tussles at the top hem of the sheets, his knuckles turning white. “Even though she tried to shatter me, and that was terrifying and all… I could tell she felt really guilty about it right after. And before that, she was actually super kind. I just hope she’ll be alright on her own.”

“You’re the one who’s super kind,” he says with a soft smile, and reaches out to ruffle at his son’s hair. Steven playfully bats his hands away, cheeks flushing at the compliment. “Not everyone your age would ever stop to think about the people who harmed them in that way. Heck, not many adults would, either. I’m not sure I could.”

“But I've also been thinking,” he continues, “Peridot and Lapis tried to hurt us when we first met them, too. And now we’re all friends, and it’s fine, right?"

Greg considers this, stroking at his beard. As much as Steven defends their oft-erratic behavior, he’s not sure he personally considers the ex-Homeworld Gems who are bunking in his family’s old barn friends yet. The first time he met Lapis, she attempted to steal the ocean and broke his leg. And as for Peridot, she once pushed him off a roof with next to no warning, for cripe’s sake! (God, and he would've broken his leg again that day if it weren't for Garnet's future vision, huh?) But despite his current opinions on the two of them, it's true that they both have an amicable rapport going with Steven (and for the most part, the rest of the Gems) these days. They've made a genuine effort to learn, to grow with the lush Earth around them. Against the very unmovable nature of their kind, they've succeeded in the impossible. They've changed. 

“So what if we’re being a little too hard on her?" Steven says, eyes glistening. “What if it pushes her away forever?”

“Mmm. I understand where you’re coming from, but she didn’t just try to hurt you. She actually succeeded. Sometimes there’s such a thing as being too compassionate, you know?” He chuckles, and props himself up on his elbow. “Heh. You really are just like your mother, in that way. Y’see, she told me once about the first time she came across a pigeon, and apparently she—”

“Can we please not talk about her right now?” he interrupts, his voice strained.

“S-sure thing,” Greg stutters, mentally smacking himself for not considering the stress the topic of Rose has become for his son before he foolishly ran his mouth. “Sorry, I didn’t think.”

Closing his eyes, Steven snuggles closer to him, scooting under the covers into his arms. “It’s okay,” he whispers, and yawns. “We’re okay.”

Chapter Text

He doesn’t dare peep at his alarm clock.

Its digital readout glows a soft green in the inky dark of his room, temping him same as any edible Cookie Cat would, but to no success. At least, not yet.

He must remain strong… stubborn, in the face of this unknown. However much curiosity he may feel, he can’t let its nefarious whims wrest control of him, no way, no how, because the moment he internalizes what time it is, that very time becomes real. No longer will he be able to keep up this charade that he’s been lying on his back staring at the ceiling beams for only a few minutes, that he’s still got plenty of hours left until morning. No, instead he’ll finally have to come to terms with the depressing fact that he’s not getting a single wink of sleep tonight. And who could blame him, after everything that’s happened? After everything he’s lost— maybe forever?

At his side, his dad gives a soft snore, the blunt reminder of his temporary bed mate briefly tugging him away from such downer thoughts. A soft smile lifts his cheeks as he glances over at him, splayed out within an awkward tangle of blankets he’s mostly yanked to his side of the mattress by now. Yep, he’s a known and certified blanket stealer, that one. Not that he minds, of course— he’s cozy enough in his banana pajamas, and he actually enjoys the rush of cool air over his toes. But unfortunately… he thinks while sliding right back into a weary frown again… that’s just about the extent of his peace on this particular sleepless night.

(Aaaand there he goes again, right on schedule. Back to bummerville.)

He’s long since lost count of how many times he’s tossed and turned, desperately longing for that one perfect position that’s sure to be the answer to all his problems. The optimum balance of breeze and toastiness! The ideal degree of springy cushioning! But just like the way he’s— for his family’s sake— struggling to live up to the name of someone he’s not, the difficult truth is that the answer he seeks doesn’t truly exist. It’s a fabrication. A sham. And try as he will, no amount of misplaced belief in the fanciful ‘what-ifs’ will ever change that reality.

Elsewhere within the oppressive silence (or rather what would be silence, if his hearing wasn’t so darn sensitive right now), every single creak and moan of the house’s foundation is amplified like an electric guitar through an amp. He’s expecting it by now— expecting the dull tick of the wood boards as they warp with the gradual change in ambient temperature, expecting his dad’s even snores from beside him— but his nerves are so shot from all the chaos of the evening that he can’t help but seize up with each and every new noise. It’s just… all too much.

Laying on his mattress as flat as a board, the young boy crinkles his nose with annoyance. Good grief. He’s not usually the Universe who has trouble falling asleep. That’s Dad’s turf. Once his dad finally gets to dreaming he’s solid, he’s a rock who doesn’t wake even if someone shoves an entire meat lover’s pizza in front of his nose, but arriving there in the first place? That’s an ordeal all on its own.

Gosh, he’s just… so, so tired. A dull ache throbs behind his eyes. In his chest his heart thrums staccato at a heightened, somewhat irregular rhythm, never fully settling down to a resting pulse. It’s been like that ever since Bismuth’s forge, ever since… all the unpleasantness. He shudders at the reminder. Distantly he bets that’s because this weakened, fully organic body is still fighting to compensate for the loss of his gem. Steven was born with it, after all. That’s like adjusting to everyday life after losing an entire limb. It doesn’t just happen in a day.

In his unique case, though— he glances longingly at the deep cut pink gemstone resting inert on the kitchen counter, which Pearl swaddled in the gentle folds of a bath towel at his request— is adjustment to this new reality even possible? Is it even safe? Can he ever feel whole on his own, a frail, stuttering body but no powers, no gem? Is there any sign of the person he used to be at all without his other half?

“T-take me back,” he remembers sobbing back in Bismuth’s forge, grasping out towards his counterpart like it was the sole impulse this form was even capable of in that horrid moment. “I- I need—”

I need it.

The very thought radiating through his mind like a spellbinding mantra, like some pressing hunger encoded within the deepest threads of his essence, the syncopated beating of his heart begins to hasten. With a trembling exhale, he crawls out of bed… places both feet down on the floorboards side by side. His eyes flutter shut. Deep breath, in and out. He can do this. He can do this. He… he needs…

He needs some fresh air. He needs to venture outside, gem and all.

His gaze diverting from his ultimate prize, he has the brief presence of mind to swipe his phone off the nightstand and slip it in his pocket. Just in case of emergency, he figures. Or if he gets bored out there. Because the truth is, he simply can’t tolerate the impossible notion of trying to sleep anymore. He can’t tolerate one more second spent even more than an inch apart from that gemstone. Although— he hesitates, sinking back into his mattress as he slouches a little— the Gems might be upset if they find out. They might totally freak if they come out from their rooms to check on him only to discover both him and that gem gone. So maybe he should think this through a bit more, right? Maybe he should reflect on his options before making impulsive decisions to leave the house in the middle of the night.

That being said…

A glistening bead of sweat forms right above his brow as he tries not to fixate on the horrifying notion of continuing to exist a room apart from his other half, on how downright ill he suddenly feels, not holding it in the safety of his grasp right now. He grinds his teeth together, tangles his fingers through his messy curls, vies with everything that he is to ride through this suffocating wave of pressure, but to no avail. He crumples. Rote instinct takes over.

He’s gonna do it. Together with his gem, he’s gonna journey down to the beach.

Truth be told, the way he scoots his butt down the stairs to the ground floor isn’t elegant at all, but it sure beats tripping over himself and landing on his face, like he almost did earlier tonight. Walking still doesn’t come easy for him, in this state. Trying his best not to feel absolutely pathetic about this shortcoming, he crawls his way across to the counter… shakily pulls himself to his feet. There it is. Steven’s gemstone. Gosh, it reflects the moonlight shining through the upper window beautifully, doesn’t it? He purses his lips, deliberating… and then carefully scoops it up in his hands.

The young boy senses a small but noticeable surge of lost strength cascade through his body upon mere skin-to-skin contact with it. Finally, something that feels halfway right. He’s still a bit clammy, and his stomach’s still festering with this nauseating sensation of wrongness, but he’s positive he’s got more than enough power to walk now, holding this.

“You’re coming with me, little guy,” he whispers to the inanimate Gem, hugging it right to his stumbling heart. “Who knows, maybe some ocean time will do you some good too!”

Ignoring the fact that— on technicality— he’s only talking to an inert mirror of himself, he turns on a dime. He slips on the spare pair of flip flops he always leaves by the seat under the window, and then tiptoes outside.

The fresh, crisp breeze dances through his dark curls as he quietly shuts the door behind him— a sweet respite from all the stale air circulating within the house. He steps towards the patio’s railing. Lips curving midway into a smile, he gazes out at the midnight sky. One of the arms of the Milky Way is faintly visible, dotting this stellar canvas with billions upon billions of twinkling stars. Beach City produces minimal light pollution, so thankfully he’s always had a stunning view on their side of the hill. On any other night he’d be delighted to stargaze the hours away, wistfully dreaming of stellar horizons far beyond anyone’s reach, but alas his fragile heart’s not into the idea of that right now. As time ticks onwards, the gemstone within his grasp grows heavier and heavier— a grim reminder of the blunt reality he exists within…

A reality where half of the whole he’s supposed to be doesn’t even have terrestrial origins anymore.

The rest of the Gems never like talking about it much, so he can’t pinpoint its location to any degree of accuracy, but somewhere light-years beyond this humble solar system of theirs sits the Gem Homeworld. Pink Diamond’s origin. This gem’s origin.

And that’s a bizarre thought to him. Before today he’s always been under the impression that his mom was made right here on Earth, just one of hundreds of Rose Quartz soldiers. Alien, but not wholly extraterrestrial. This was even a topic of bonding between Steven and Amethyst, in the past. Now, however...

He stubbornly shakes his head, itching to clear his mind. Nope, now’s not the time to think about all that. He plods down the stairs to the sand on automatic, the backs of his sandals clapping rhythmically against his heels with each step. Ah, that’s the stuff he loves! There’s really nothing better than the soft squish of sand under flip flops to brighten one’s mood! His eyes flutter shut as he crosses the beach, breathing deep to let that cool, salty air fill his lungs.

In time he seats himself a fair distance from the cliff, smack dab in the middle of the shore. His flip flops are quickly set aside. Under the stars’ faithful glow he erects a raised mound of sand, and carefully nestles the diamond atop it. (Though the moment he breaks contact with it, that dreaded hollowness seeps back into his bones like an unwanted, bygone dream.) With a long, heavy sigh, he flops onto his back. The sudden shift in weight distribution paired with the light breeze causes a fine mist of sand to waft straight into his face. He sputters and spits.

“Euuugh, no, that got in my mouth!” he complains to no one in particular, shooting upright. He sticks out his tongue, wildly scrubbing the remaining grit off. When he’s satisfied he’s no longer swallowing bits of powdered rock his tense shoulders relax.

His glance moves to his gem, still as dull and lifeless as ever.

Another sigh.

“Okay, this is officially sad.”

The pink diamond glints in the moonlight. He chooses to believe it’s a wink.

“Maybe I can… watch some post midnight TubeTube?” he ponders out loud, and pauses.

Besides the constant ebb and flow of the ocean, the beach remains unwaveringly silent. He frowns, hugging his knees to his chest.

“Sheesh, maybe I should’ve just stayed in bed and kept staring at the ceiling after all.”

He shakes his head. No, no… he can’t keep letting himself get all angsty like this. He’s gotta distract himself. Less brood, more Tube. It’s pocket time. He plunges his hand deep in the pocket of his pajamas, fumbling for his phone. Though thankfully it’s not a boundary-less magical dimension like Lion’s mane, he thinks with a stiff laugh. Then it really would be a ‘pocket dimension!’

He pulls out the phone and switches it on with a flick of his finger. He can’t help but crack a smile upon seeing the lock screen photo, an older selfie of Connie and Steven that the two took up at the sky arena after practice one day, but that definitely isn’t the most pressing headline. His eyes snap wide open as he notices the battery indicator at the top right corner.

“What??” he cries in clear betrayal. “Nine percent?? Aw, dagnabit!”

The sad thing is that this kind of electronic tragedy is not a rare occurrence, not at all. He can’t even count the number of times it’s happened on two hands. Oh, why must he always forget to charge his phone at night? Still, this means that TubeTube is out. Watching videos will drain his battery to zero faster than Amethyst can shovel down an entire gallon of engine oil.

His shoulders slump as he shoves his phone back in his pocket. Mind wandering to the grim destinations he was attempting to avoid, he plows his fingers through the sand, gouging deep lines in the damp shore until his knuckles go white.

“And then, what? She creates you just so she doesn’t have to deal with the fact she’s a liar?”

He almost feels nauseous again. Almost…

(The way his pink double— the fully Gem half of Steven, the entity projected from the stone Mom left behind— looks at the world when not trapped within emotionless monotony, pale irises burning with an anger he never knew either of them were capable of…)

“You knew, you knew Rose was Pink Diamond this whole time!”

(Other Steven screams no, solid stone fragmenting under his feet like chalk. The others quiver as they struggle to remain upright, even Bismuth, a self-made Gem warrior. Even Garnet, the most unshakable person he knows.)

But then there’s the portrait of Mom that hangs on the wall of Steven’s room, its gentle strokes accentuating the rosiness of her cheeks, the softness of her curls… and there’s also the tape she left behind, spinning loving encouragements recorded specially for him…

“Maybe she just wanted to be Rose Quartz. Is that so bad?”

“Depends on what her motives were,” Garnet replies matter-of-factly, adjusting her opaque glasses.

(The solid weight of the gemstone in his hands as he delicately submerges it under the fountain’s pool, familiar and alien all at once… it’s a core part of him, right? Of the person they are together? It’s been like that for all his life. And yet…)

“-and Pink D’s like, the bad guy, Steven!”

(For once, Dad becomes his rock amidst the stress of all this Gem business. He clutches at his arm, desperately trying to let his dad’s warmth and comfort and perspective soothe his worries. To fill that aching, nagging part of him that’s begging the whole damn universe to be whole again.)

“-despite everything she clearly omitted about her past, her love and respect for all of you was not a sham.”

He buries his face in his arms, shivering in the throes of the nighttime breeze as its intensity ever so slightly picks up. His teeth chatter, and he shrinks even smaller in defense against this sudden burst of coastal wind. Even his long sleeved pajamas don’t provide much comfort. And because of this, no matter what he tries his mind can’t stop looping back to the deadening sense of cold he felt radiating throughout his very core after splitting apart from his other half… how disoriented it left him, unable to focus or even walk for the first few minutes. The scariest part is by far the gap in his memories, though, from the second that unbearable pain shot through Steven’s nerves to the moment he opened his eyes, fragmented, to find himself held aloft in Bismuth’s grasp.

His skin pales to an almost lifeless pallor as he considers this further. Stars. He literally blacked out in the mercy of someone who hurt him. Steven was helpless and alone in that horrible place, and in way over his head. Oh geeze, this is like the incident with Jasper and the hand ship all over again, isn’t it? He— his bottom lip quivers as he pulls his legs tighter to his chest— he could have…

Even in his own head, he can't bear to think that word. The dreaded D-word.

It's way too scary.

Too real.

And now, because he’s cleaved in two, because he’s clumsy and useless and honestly kinda sickly in this half-life state, he doubts the Gems will want him along on missions anymore. Given the circumstances that’s more than fair, he reasons. He’s not Steven. Not in the way they want him to be. Everyone in his family still calls him by that name, but it’s like… they’re calling for a part of him he’s incapable of fully embodying right now, without his hard-light counterpart. Without being whole. But what bothers him even more than that is—

He peeks out from between his arms, tired, glossy eyes drinking in the sight of that glittering pink gem in the sand.

Pink Diamond. Rose Quartz…

Why do there have to be so many contradictions about who Mom was? Why can’t he just know?

Not a sham, one source claims.

She’s a liar! says another.

His heart isn’t sure what to believe anymore.

The young boy huffs in frustration, crawling on hands and knees to the shallow mound he rest the gem upon. With reverence he picks it up, his fingers splaying wide to securely support its full diameter. He rises back to his feet. The ocean almost seems to call him closer, the mesmerizing rhythm of its tides settling into a lyrical bit of white noise. Step by step, he emerges from under the temple’s shadow into the full light of the moon.

“Why’d you have to be so secretive about everything, huh?” he asks pointedly, staring daggers at the gem. In the diamond’s mirror-like surface, his hurt scowl is reflected right back at him. “Why’d you have to lie to all your friends? And why did you dump him with all this?”

Not that he expects anything else by this point, but the gemstone remains stone silent in the wake of his questioning. Funny that, huh. It’s rather reminiscent of some other Gems in his life. He catches a glimpse of the temple statue from the corner of his eye, the face of the fusion carved into the cliffside gazing impassively out at sea in all her monolithic glory. She’s unchanging in her stance, no matter the number of centuries that pass them by.

(Thick ringlets, prominently carved into the cliff face in a way he can’t ignore, not for anything.)

He exhales heavily.

“I just… wanna know the truth, for once in my life,” he says. “The whole truth, y’know?”

He lowers his gaze to the diamond in his hold as he contemplates this desire, and accompanied only by the gentle lull of the ocean, begins to sing a slow melody:

“I thought I knew,

I thought I saw…

All the writing that you left me on the wall...”

He takes a breath. Mind overrunning with conflicting ideas and secrets and fourteen-year-old promises labeled ‘for Steven,’ he turns to face the water, planting his bare feet solid in the damp sand.

“Through the gem you left behind,

And taped encouragements to find...

Your portrait hanging like a lighthouse on the shore.

And all what for?

“What do I trust?

What should I say?

Don’t think I know you well enough to feel betrayed…”

In his hands, he flips the inert gemstone so its five sided facet faces up, obscuring the point below. His brow creases.

“About the gem you turned to hide,

And how easily you lied…

But after all of this…

“Why does the thought of living up to you make me feel small?” he asks, his singing voice cracking on the last note. Fingers grip his pajama shirt tight where normally they’d wrap around the familiar edges of that gem. “When now I’m not sure you’re worth living up to after all…”

Far above, a constellation he doesn’t remember the name of twinkles mirthfully at him.

“It’s so… unfamiliar.”

Echoes of recent memory pool around him like mirrors into the past as he drinks in the sight of the night sky. Bismuth’s presentation of the breaking point, their resulting moral disagreement, his mom’s sword knocked clear across the room during the most heated moment of their fight… (If it lay in Steven’s reach, could he have done it? Is he even capable of poofing a non-corrupted Gem in self defense?) The memories swirl around him faster now, the breeze picking up. The split. His pink-tinted double standing parallel, nothing but his own intuition giving answer as to what the hard-light figure represents. The silent shock drawn across Amethyst’s features at seeing him cracked, wordless but still so tangible and raw, speaking to her own personal experience. The terror they all felt as his glitching gem self’s scream sent deep fissures spider webbing through solid rock. Garnet’s instability, the horror of the truth nearly wrenching her apart. Pearl’s hand involuntarily clamping over her mouth at the mere mention of Pink. Bismuth’s exile. His dad clutching him to his chest fiercely tight as he drifts to sleep...

The collective weight of the past finally grows too big for him to carry. Brimming with exhaustion, he plummets to his knees.

“I wish I knew how to fix this,” he says with a lump in his throat, the ocean’s own voice smothering the evidence of his hoarse whispers. His thumb glides across the pentagonal facet, right across the length where the crack had been. “I wish Bismuth and I could’ve just talked, that none of this happened in the first place. I- I wish…”

Prolonged fatigue wringing the strength from his body, he lists forward, pressing his forehead against the diamond’s cool, glassy surface. His eyelids flutter shut. Now unhindered, fresh tears slip from the corners and dampen his cheeks. His breath shakes as he folds in on himself even more, elbows propped on his thighs.

The wind and waves soak up his cries like an acoustic sponge. And so with no witness, and no awareness of the passage of time, he finally lets slip the full depth of his jumbled emotions, tears mixing with the messy snot that’s running from his nose. In a comforting way, it’s strangely cathartic. All those unspoken stressors weighing down on him— his status as a Crystal Gem, his mom’s questionable ethics, the sobering reminder of his own mortality— begin to fade into the background as he cries. Things of course won’t instantly become better, but… he still has his friends and family to help him through it, right? Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl… Dad, Connie… Peridot and Lapis… Sadie, Lars… Kiki, Jenny, Buck, and Sour Cream… maybe Onion? He bites back a half hearted laugh upon recalling the surreal evening Steven spent playing with Vidalia’s youngest a few months back. Okay, so maybe Onion won’t be as great a source of support as the others, but the point still stands.

No matter how isolated and lost he feels, he’s far from alone.

Abruptly, a gentle chime interrupts his train of thought. In seconds flat light erupts into his world, soft and pink, so vivid in its glow that it’s visible even between his interwoven eyelashes, sparking a kaleidoscope of color on the backs of his eyelids. He gasps. Eyes opening as wide as day, he jolts upright.

The diamond in his hands pulses with life, its glassy surface thrumming under his fingertips. Acting on its own volition, it then lifts out of his grip. For a split second a surge of panic grips him. He claws at thin air, desperately trying to reclaim what’s his, but then… It’s okay. He’s okay. He’s seen this, he knows this. Reformation. He slumps back in the sand, neck craning to catch a full glimpse as his gemstone rises straight up, stretching ever closer to the stars it came from. Perhaps a testament to the raw power contained within, the same breeze that tousles his hair is unable to lay even a finger on it as it hovers airborne.

Transfixed, he watches with mouth agape as the gem pulses a pure white. Radiating outwards from the diamond, a series of glowing silhouettes— one he doesn’t recognize, and two he does— take shape out of light in quick sequence. The first is shockingly tall, at least fifteen feet, and has poofy hair, the gem oriented on its side at her navel. Pink Diamond? he wonders, hating how the thought of that name makes his guts twist and churn with uneasiness. He doesn’t have time to commit her shape to memory, though. In a flash the diamond rotates— baring its pentagonal facets— and the shifting hard-light form collapses in on itself, flaring outwards in the unmistakable outline of his mother. His heart hammers in his chest at the sight of her. But then once more, the light collapses back into the gemstone, and weaves back together into a far more compact form…

A form he’s intimately familiar with.

With another resonant chime his hard-light self bursts into colorful actuality, reformed once more. He’s wearing the same pajamas he himself is, except tinted in shades of pink like his skin and hair. The Gem stretches his arms out and allows himself to effortlessly drift downwards, his bare toes making first contact.

His mouth is still wide open, so wide he’d be catching flies if there were any around at this time. Suddenly feeling self conscious in the presence of a being who’s so cool and adept he makes floating look like child’s play, he wipes the streaks of his tears from his cheeks, pulling himself— with much effort— to his feet again.

“Um… hello,” he says with a small wave.

The Other Steven merely acknowledges him with a nod, the motion so subtle that if he wasn’t watching him with such laser focused intent he probably would have missed it altogether.

He chuckles, running a stray hand through the dark curls at the nape of his neck. “So you really are the Gem part of Steven, huh.”

The Gem doesn’t respond to his comment at all this time. Instead his attention is drawn elsewhere, as he drinks in his surroundings with an empty, impartial gaze. He’s clearly alert and conscious, but there’s no clear sign of emotion in his full pink irises. (His pupils, he notes with alarm, are diamonds.) Bemused and unsure of what to do next, he presses his mouth taut and sighs, the passing air vibrating his lips. It sounds just like an aging motorboat engine, and in any other scenario that comparison would make him laugh.

“Hey, I- if you were a sandwich,” he begins lamely, at this point desperate to incite any kind of response from him, “I guess you might say you’re… all Gem, hold the human?”

He throws his arms up in a grandiose shrug, beaming so wide that his cheeks hurt. Once more, Other Steven doesn’t utter a word. He doesn’t blink either, which is unnerving in and of itself, but nevertheless he can’t help but feel like he’s being silently judged by this being. His smile recedes.

“Wow, tough crowd,” he mutters under his breath, sweat beading at his brow. “I know it’s not a good joke, but gee, you’d think a hard-light projection of Steven would be a bit more talkative…”

Stumped on what else to say for the moment, he shies away from the Gem. Instead, he focuses back on the ocean, on the tides steadily lapping at the shoreline a few feet from where they stand. He flashes a pensive frown as he contemplates his current situation, hand balled at his chin. At this point he’s not sure what he expected to happen when he nicked the gemstone to go on a little outdoor adventure, but it certainly wasn’t this. Then again, he’s sure there’s an understandable reason this Other Steven is acting all silent and emotionless. Maybe it’s just that he’s still shell-shocked from almost being shattered. Geeze, that had to have been terrifying!

After a moment of consideration, he decides to approach him from a different angle.

“I’m sorry you got cracked. That looked like it really hurt.”

Silence. He feels kinda itchy pinned under his double’s unyielding gaze.

“I mean,” he says with a weak laugh, “I know it sucked for me, and I didn’t even have a gem at the time.”

At this the Gem’s features shift ever so slightly into an expression suggesting concern. His brow lifts, and his diamond pupils dilate.

“Are you… still hurt?” he finally speaks.

(And he has to admit, the sound of his own voice coming from another source in cold monotone kinda gives him the heebie jeebies.)

“No, not at all! Although, um—” he cuts himself off with a shrug, figuring the last person he needs to close himself off from is his missing piece— “I guess I don’t feel very good, split apart like this. But I’m not injured. I don’t think I was ever injured.” His eyes glisten with gratitude as he regards his counterpart. “I have you to thank for that, don’t I?”

A singular nod. “It was necessary.”

“So, uh—”

His voice cuts out mid-thought, his limbs practically squirming with nervous energy as he muddles over what he’s actually curious about, what he needs to know.

“What… do I call you?”

The Gem seems to think real hard for a moment before issuing his swift response. “I don’t have a designation,” he says. “I am not whole.”

“Well I guess, but… doesn’t all this feel a little impersonal? Don’t you want a name?”

“Do you?” he shoots back, peering with laser focused intent, as if somehow— even while split— he already knows his answer.

The organic one flushes a deep red under the pinpoint scrutiny of this callout, wringing his hands together behind his back. Hoo boy. This whole situation— talking to his own Gem— is so strange and surreal that he wishes he wasn’t alone for it. He wishes another of the Gems was here with him, or even Connie. At least if Connie were here this conversation wouldn’t be so darn stilted and awkward.

At the sudden reminder of his best friend he gasps, slamming his palms against his cheeks. “Wait! Oh my gosh! I have to take a picture for Connie! She’s totally gonna flip out! After all, it’s not every day there’s two of us!”

The Gem watches with mild bemusement from the sidelines as he whisks out his phone, nearly floating atop the blissful clouds of this new mental diversion. Running on nothing but a surge of sheer enthusiastic impulse, he swipes to unlock and opens up the camera, poking the tip of his tongue through his lips all the while.

“Okay,” he says, holding the phone at arm’s length in front of the two of them. “Switching to selfie, and… cheese!”

The camera flashes. Eagerly, he taps the screen to look at the photo. In it, he stands grinning like a loon in the foreground, deep shadows under his eyes and the breeze blowing his hair every which way. Behind him, his pink counterpart squints at the burst of light, mouth slightly ajar in blank confusion. It’s by no means a flattering image. All the same, he hums in satisfaction, and decides to use his last few drops of battery life to shoot Connie a quick text.

“By the way,” he dictates as his fingers fly across the phone’s digital keyboard. “Accidentally… got separated… from gem… We’re mostly okay, I think… but now there’s two of us. Say hi to—” He glances up at the Gem, who’s watching him with faint intrigue. “Uh… Hey, so I really do need to figure out how to refer to you, otherwise it’s gonna get confusing. Any ideas? I’ve kinda been defaulting to ‘Other Steven’ in my head, but honestly, I think that’s pretty lame,” he admits.

The Gem’s diamond eyes narrow with razor sharp intuition.

“You don’t want a name,” he says, blunt.

Feeling his ears heat up, he tugs at the collar of his pajama shirt. “Well, no, but… that’s different. I don’t actually need one. You, though— you’re Steven’s gem! Don’t you deserve to have a name?”

“We are not separate people,” he reminds, with what probably passes for him as a stern frown. “I’m one half of a whole, just like you.”

“Gem Steven.”

“No.”

“Shiny Steven.”

“No.”

He purses his lips. “Pink Steven,” he suggests, gesturing towards him with his phone in hand.

“NO.”

He peers close at him for a second, a little thrown off by the sheer intensity of his voice, as staccato it still may be. The Gem doesn’t even noticeably breathe as he stares him down in return, not backing an inch away from his answer.

“Generic descriptor it is, then,” he shrugs, and finishes typing his message to Connie. “And, send!”

The text pops up on the screen in a blue bubble, attached alongside the selfie of the two of them. Quickly, he scans back over the message, realizing far too late that he probably should have done that before slamming his thumb on the big red button. His eyes narrow as he reads:

Steven: btw accidentally got separated from gem, mostly okay i think , but now theres two me’s say hi to my gem! ill call later, some kinda scary stuff happened but gems and i are fine so pls dont worry too much

“Oh come on, really?” he says, exasperation framing his features. “Don’t worry too much? Of course she’s gonna worry!” Voice cracking amidst his melodrama, he captures loose fistfuls of hair from either side of his head, phone still clutched in one hand. “Noooo, why did I write that?”

He groans, promptly dropping to his knees, and flops over into the sand like a mannequin with its strings cut. He lays there for a while, absentmindedly nibbling at the inside of his cheek much in the same way he’s chewing over his thoughts. And hoo boy, there sure is a lot to unpack in there. He spends this time switching between scoffing at his own lack of tact, questioning why his Gem counterpart has to be so darn enigmatic, and dreaming of a better world where his family isn’t crumbling under the weight of a long-kept secret and everything about his mom’s past actually makes sense. But in the end he knows there’s no good to be found from silently wallowing in all of this. Instead, he thinks of Garnet, and everything he admires about her. About how— despite her ability to trace the paths of potential futures— even she can’t predict every single twist and turn of life. Even Garnet is no stranger to the fear of the unknown. The only difference is, she never lets that hinder her. Instead she channels all the jitters and uncertainty of that fear into pure liquid courage, lets it empower her to rise with confidence to solve the issue at hand.

And sure, he may not be the best leader or fighter or strategist like the rest of the Crystal Gems, but if there’s one thing he knows he’s good at, it’s wielding his curiosity in search of the truth.

“Y’know, I still have so many questions,” he begins, slipping his phone back in his pocket and pulling himself to his feet once more, though his balance is still annoyingly wobbly. “And… and we’ve barely talked. Like, really talked.”

His other half’s brow inclines in distinct interest. It’s so close to an imperceptible shift that he’s not sure he would’ve noticed if they didn’t literally share a face, and thus certain emotive mannerisms as well. In many ways— the curve of his lips when he frowns, the faint crinkle at the corner of his eyes when he widens his gaze, his pupils dilating— this Gem expresses various emotions identically to how he does, just… muted. Divided by four.

“Why… were you so quiet earlier?” he continues. “Both now, and- and before?”

“My intercession was not required.”

His forehead creases as he squints in his confusion. “What do you mean, ‘required,’” he says, punctuating his query with visual air quotes.

“My intercession was not required,” the Gem repeats in identical intonation. “No questions were asked of me, and His Body was not under threat.”

Until it was, to his eyes. Until their attacker attempted to squirm away from the reality of what she’d done to them, and his Gem self screamed in rage fueled retaliation. His head bobs in understanding as he drinks this information in.

Then, zeroing in on the almost reverent way he spoke one of his words, capitalization all but implied in his tone:

“His ‘Body,’ you said,” he mutters, pointing a finger at his own chest. “Is that… me?”

“You already understand we’re two halves of a whole.”

A statement, not a question.

“Well, yes, but—”

“My sole purpose is to protect His Body. And now you are safe. And we can be whole.”

The Gem strides a few steps towards him and extends his hand in expectant patience, as if waiting for him to respond in some specific way. His diamond pupils focus on him with an almost pleading intensity.

Instead, he stares back at him with the vacant ignorance of a goldfish, mouth ajar and thoughts momentarily scattered to the winds. “W-wait, what are you—”

What does he want from me, my phone? Uhhh… or maybe a high five, or a secret handshake, or—

The last thing the Gem said radiates through his consciousness once more:

“And we can be whole.”

His eyes snap wide.

Oh. Oh. Of course.

He’s not holding out his hand because he wants him to give him something, he’s holding it out as if inviting a partner to dance, as if—

His heart stutters as he realizes the intent. It’s true, he craves that kind of closeness— has ever since they split in the first place— feels the ache of his other half’s absence with a lingering intensity, as agonizing as a dozen spiny thorns embedded in his side, b-but…

“But I’m human,” he says in a timid, broken whisper. “I’m not—” At his sides, his knuckles tighten— “I can’t do that anymore.”

His pink counterpart shakes his head with bold decisiveness. “Not human,” he intones, more raw emotion present within his voice since when he screamed at Bismuth at the fountain. “Half human. Half of Him.”

Closing that seemingly once insurmountable gap between them, the Gem takes him by the hand. He closes his eyes… sweeps his thumb across the back of his palm. With a sharp exhale, his double focuses a surge of excess energy from the gemstone at his core all the way through his projected form to their joined hands. He watches, mesmerized, as familiar hard-light veins under his skin light up with all the luminosity of a fresh glow stick. His fingers tingle— but it’s a good tingle, this time. It feels like waking from a decades-long coma… like this body’s only been acting through the motions up until this exact point. The moment doesn’t last for long— his other half of course doesn’t have infinite energy to spare, and eventually has to pull away— but it’s at least enough to prove to him with complete and utter confidence that… on the weird hybrid anatomical side of things… he can in fact do it.

He can fuse. Or at least, he can with this specific Gem.

The only problem is…

The boy frowns, dragging his bare toes within the sand underfoot. “And you want to fuse with me?”

“Don’t you?”

“Well yeah, of course! I love being Steven! But it’s just…” he folds his hands together, fingers loosely interlocking. “Doesn’t that like… dilute your power, or something? Make us weaker?”

“I think it makes Him stronger,” the Gem says, his gaze unyielding.

This gives him pause. He’s not sure he agrees, or understands why, but regardless he can’t deny the rush of peace it brings to know that this other half truly desires to join together with him, even despite all his imperfections and faults.

“Okay, I’m in,” he declares decisively, mind set. “I’ll fuse with you. But can I maybe ask one last Gem thing, first?”

“I only know what He knows.”

“But you’re still another perspective! Looking at stuff from another angle can be really helpful sometimes. It’s just…” He trails off, wrapping his arms around himself protectively as if fearing injury from asking this very question. “It’s about Mom. Is she… still in there, somewhere?”

The Gem’s frown deepens, ever so slightly. Even if he’s not super emotive, it’s become clear to him that his counterpart still feels things. He’s definitely not some emotionless robot, not at all. He just doesn’t express his emotions to the same degree because he’s not used to being a solo entity, to having to project a tangible form. (Or at least, that’s his theory.)

“She’s gone,” he whispers.

“But you’re sure she’s really—”

“Gone!”

“Okay, okay!” he says, holding his hands up. “Touchy subject, I get it. But please don’t wake up the whole town. Or our dad. Sleep’s super important for human beings.”

He sighs, and shuffles his feet. There’s still so much he’s aching to ask— how did we manage to split so abruptly? Does this mean Steven’s literally a fusion, or only technically? How come it took twelve whole years for him to summon his shield for the first time, what’s up with that? What Crying Breakfast Friends character do you identify the most as, Sniffling Croissant like me, or are our opinions different on things? Like, would we enjoy the same foods? Do you even eat food?? How the heck did Steven never notice that his gem is pointy, shouldn’t he be able to feel that it’s jabbing into his insides whenever he’s laying down?— but in the end there’s one that weighs on his mind more than all the others.

“The other thing I’m confused about is… if Mom’s really gone like you said, then why did you almost reform as her?”

“Gemstones retain memory.”

“Oh yeah, Pearl mentioned that once,” he says with a soft smile. “So, then… those are just forms this gem used to take?”

He nods in confirmation.

“But Mom’s… soul… is gone forever?”

Another nod.

“Then… it’s just us,” he breathes in wonder, the words cathartic the moment they pass his lips into permanence. His eyes grow damp. “Just Steven.”

At the realization, that shadowy thicket of thorns that’s increasingly entangled itself around his heart for the past few years finally begins to recede.

“Okay,” he says, extending his hand to his counterpart. “I think I’m ready now.”

The moment their fingers brush against each other, strength surges through his body like he’s gasping awake from a disjointed dream, and immediately his baggy, weary eyes snap alert. Hand in hand with his hard-light double, he’s suddenly focused, able, nerves alight with a warmth he never realized until now he missed. A subtle grin curves across the Gem’s face in response, vulnerable emotion bursting to full life for the very first time.

And as the two of them— organic and Gem alike— stand parallel on the shore regarding each other under the constellations’ careful watch, an all-consuming understanding crests over him as solid as the tides are strong:

That he’s never truly been alone a day in his life, has he? They’ve always had each other, even if Steven himself never realized it.

He can’t help the breathy laugh that bubbles up from within as he clasps his fingers secure around his counterpart’s pink ones. The Gem quickly grows to match him in his joy, and takes lead of their impromptu dance as the two begin to skip and spin across the sand, the ocean’s pulse and the wind’s vibrato acting as their only accompaniment. He’s dead tired, and his muscles still ache beyond belief, but in this blissful moment he finds he genuinely doesn’t care. Not when the breeze is tousling through his curls, and his other half’s eyes don’t look so cold and void anymore, and their steps surge with new confidence with each and every revolution they make. Not when there’s so much magic to be found in this world. So much hope, even despite the bad days. No more lies, he promises himself, no more secrets. No holding back. In a heartbeat the spinning world tints bright pink around them. Beaming, he throws his head back right as his vision blurs to white, the fathomless night sky the last thing he sees before the crescendo completes.

Steven Quartz Universe, whole and uncracked once more, emerges from fusion’s pure glow.

He gasps for breath upon finally reforming, teetering and stumbling a few steps as he regains his sense of balance- both physically and mentally.

Because with zero warning the blunt reality of the last few hours suddenly crashes into him like storm surge. He remembers everything through two sets of eyes now: he remembers falling apart, being cracked, his desperate cries as distant static tore through his body— no, sorry— his bodies, plural. He remembers the precise moment he poofed, his damaged hard-light form running on empty. He remembers singing on the beach, alone (but not really alone), and he remembers exactly how rejuvenating it felt to reform from his gemstone floating on air, while simultaneously watching himself drift down to meet the sandy shore. And he even remembers every single word of his halves’ resulting conversation, every last unspoken thought and twinge of emotion and physical sensation.

All of it.

Truth be told the dissonance of this is a little overwhelming at first, but as the memories finally begin to slot themselves into a reasonable order and nestle at the back of his mind he decides it's all gonna be okay.

Experimentally, he wiggles his toes against the cool sand, reveling in the way the granules tickle the bottoms of his feet, and laughs in sheer relief. Every stimuli is a thousand times more vivid now. The crisp wind dancing against the nape of his neck, the crash of the tides upon the shore echoing through his ears with a percussive strength… When he inhales, he inhales deep and strong, filling his lungs entirely with the fresh salty air. Now that he’s in one piece, he swears he feels more connected to his gem than ever. There’s a comforting thrum running parallel with his organic veins, one he’s grown used to feeling whenever he summons his bubble or shield, except now it seems to be a constant presence. Channels of hard-light, his mind excitedly supplies, recalling Pearl’s Gem anatomy lessons. Just like a Gem circulatory system!

He breathes in deep again, grounding himself. He splays both arms outward, focusing upon the thought of self preservation. In a flash, the familiar sheen of his pink bubble blooms around him. Steven grins so wide his cheeks almost ache. He allows the bubble to drop, and next aligns his emotions with the idea of protection. His shield, forged of solid light and etched with rosy thorns, immediately materializes in front of his outstretched arm. It’s absolutely effortless, more so than ever before. Giddy in all the euphoria of being whole again, he dissipates the shield and launches himself high into the air. He’s giggling breathlessly by the time he begins his slow descent. For a blissful moment, every other stressful thing in the world disappears, and it’s just he, himself, and the glittering night sky. Far above, Ursa Minor winks at him. He blows the cosmos a kiss, eyes filled with stars.

Gently, his bare feet touch down upon the shore.

For a moment he doesn’t budge an inch, doesn’t make a sound, as if he’s waiting for reality to pull the rug out from under him. This all seems too idealized, too lucky. And yet— as he stands idle in the moonlight, fully alert and able— clearly it’s not. Beaming from ear to ear, he takes off running across the beach. As a testament to his sheer joy, his toes leave the ground behind again as he cartwheels.

…well, tries to cartwheel. Just because he’s more integrated with his gem now doesn’t mean he’s any more graceful. He’ll leave the training grounds grace for Pearl and Connie to exemplify. As it is, his hands don’t hit the ground at the appropriate angle, and in consequence he flips on end and lands face first, getting a mouthful of sand for all his troubles.

He spits as much of it out as he‘s able. “Euughhh, not again!” he says, although this time there’s renewed humor in his voice.

Steven rolls onto his back, and it’s then that he realizes, heart sinking low in his chest, that something feels… different. Off. He’s not sure why he didn’t notice it before— the unfamiliar way its weight settles, the distinct difference in shape that he only noticed while lying flat on his belly just a moment ago…

Hand quivering, he lifts his pajama shirt to check, and—

“W-wait, wha—!?”

The gemstone embedded flush at his navel is not his.

Well, it is, since obviously he remembers fusing with this exact Gem and can summon his shield, but it’s certainly not the rosy pentagonal cut he remembers. Instead, the entire gem has somehow rotated on its side, exposing the facets previously hidden from view. He traces his fingers along its edges, altogether mystified by this change. How could a gem just flip like that? This never happened when any of the other Gems reformed, so why did it happen here, now? To him?

No more lies… no more secrets.

His eyes widen. Oh boy… was it because of what he was thinking when he fused? Before the Gem reformed he briefly saw an outline of Pink Diamond, and her gem was flipped on its side too. If the lie was Rose’s pentagonal cut, then perhaps this orientation is simply its truest form. But could subconscious thought really influence gemstone position like that?

With a pensive frown, he drops the bottom hem of his shirt. He fears it’s far too late to try and brute force his way to some satisfying answer tonight. Like it or not, this is just another change he’ll have to grow used to. That we’ll all have to grow used to, he amends, realizing that there’s no way the other Gems won’t eventually notice. His eyes droop, his earlier burst of adrenaline plummeting to zero. How late is it again? Oh, right. He doesn’t know.

Yawning, Steven picks himself to his feet, retrieves his flip flops, and begins his hike up the sandy path to the house. He rests his palm upon the newly exposed facets of the diamond in his belly, still somewhat dazed by everything that’s come to pass, and truthfully he can’t help but feel as if he’s encroaching upon a brand new chapter of his life. Where tomorrow, or the next day, or the weeks to come will lead him is a cosmic mystery only Garnet could dream of halfway answering. But in this very instant, at least he can say that he’s whole again.

Maybe now— with that aching hollowness gnawing at his gut no longer present— maybe now he’ll finally be able to sleep.

Chapter Text

“Has your gem completely cracked??”

"Pearl… please understand, I’ve been wanting this for so long,” you explain in a soft voice, the sunset illuminating the face of the pale Gem before you in shades of pink and orange as the waves crash onto shore behind her. “Human life is simply incredible! Never stagnating, always living, and loving, and learning. I want to pass on my gem, to create something new with Greg, someone who can grow! Someone… who can finally be free.”

“But- but Gems can’t have babies!” she sputters, throwing her arms out. “We don’t have the organs for it, or genetic material, o-or—”

You shake your head, cutting her off. 

“Oh, that’s no problem! I used shapeshifting like Amethyst always does! And believe me,” you say with a conspiratorial chuckle, “you know better than anyone that I’m fully capable of holding this form for the next nine months.”

“That’s not my point!”

“Then… what is?”

“My point—! You always do this, Rose!” she shouts, her pale blue eyes growing damp. “You know I try to support your decisions, even if I don’t fully understand them, but I can’t do that if you never talk with me!

“But isn’t that… what I’m doing now?”

“No! You just— leapt right into this, and you never even considered asking me how I’d feel,” she says, voice thick. “And that’s your problem, isn’t it?” Tears stream in rivulets down her cheeks, her lithe body quivering. Roughly, she wipes them away, and turns to escape your presence. “You never do!”

“Pearl—” you cry after her, arm outstretched. “Pearl, listen, I—”

“Where did it go??”

An inescapable ring of shrill panic wakes Steven in a flash, the precise details of the dream he just exited already beginning to blur into obscurity as his eyes flutter open. A line of half-dried drool, slimy and still warm, extends from the corner of his mouth. Next to him, his dad is still softly snoring, swaddled in his stolen covers like the very image of a sushi roll. 

“No, no, no!” Pearl shouts from the kitchen. There’s a dull clap as her hand slaps across a hard surface, probably the counter. Something light (cloth?) falls to the floor. “This can’t be happening, not now, not again!”

Yawning, he presses his fingers against the slight ache at his temple and sits up, blinking in confusion at the sudden chaos of his surroundings. “Wha—?”

For whatever reason, the beach house has devolved into absolute disorder at some point between the time he fell asleep and now. The couch cushions are all askew, one of them flung halfway across the room. Two of the kitchen stools are overturned, and the bath towel they nestled his gem in last night lays in an abandoned heap between them. Dishes from the open cabinets are strewn everywhere on the counters. Meanwhile, the contents of the game shelf by the window— which Pearl normally keeps meticulously organized in alphabetical order— have exploded across the floor with little to no regard to the walking hazard they pose. If her intent was to blow through the place like a one person wrecking ball, then she’s clearly succeeded. It seems not a single corner of the house is left untouched by her mania. The Gem roughly swings open the fridge, rattling the condiment bottles in the door. After a brief pause to scan through its contents she huffs, and slams it shut. 

Her arms shaking, she grips tufts of wispy peach hair from either side of her head. “Where is it???” she cries, her voice edging towards borderline hysteria. 

“Uh, Pearl?” he asks, uneasiness churning in his gut at the sight of his guardian in such a state of distress. He swings his feet over the edge of his bed. “Pearl! What’s going on? What’s wrong?”

She freezes when she finally notices he’s awake, her cheeks flushing blue.

“O-oh! Thank goodness you’re up,” she says, bounding across the room and up the stairs to him in no more than five steps. Her hands grasp his shoulders, a frantic gleam in her pale eyes. “Steven, where’s your gem?! Have you seen it?”

“My… gem?” he mutters, scrunching his nose as he peers up at her. In the fog of his exhausted, sleep deprived mind, for a second he has no idea what on Earth she’s talking about. Where’s his gem? His gem’s at his navel, inlaid flush with his skin like it always has, so what is she—

In a flash, snippets of recent memory eclipse everything else that’s at the forefront of his attention, reasserting their rightful place in his psyche.

“Go ahead!” Bismuth snarls, jamming the tip of the breaking point rough against her concave gemstone. “Just do it!”

A sharp cry, his world standing still as a searing pain tears all the way through him, from the gem at his core to the very tip of his extremities.

Too damaged to sustain himself, his hard light form poofs into a cloud of smoke. He has no choice, his energy’s been exerted. His other self watches in horror as the cracked gemstone hangs in the air for just a second too long, morning sunlight glinting off its facets, before plummeting towards the ground, lifeless and inert.

“—it’s a Pink Diamond,” Garnet whispers in horror.

Steven swallows hard as the burden of the past few hours quickly rears its ugly head, weighing down on his shoulders like a bruise that never truly healed. Oh, right, he thinks, resting his hand atop his stomach, over the unfamiliar facets of his newly flipped gem. Splitting in two. That was a thing that happened.

“Yes, your gem, I’ve been looking everywhere for it!” Pearl says, throwing her arms up. Even though she always scolds him when he does it, she ignores her own advice and leaps down to the ground floor from the loft, jabbing her pointer finger towards the kitchen counter with a flip and a flourish entirely unbefitting of her current state of panic. “I clearly remember setting it right here when we put you to bed, but now it’s nowhere to be found!”

Her words degrade to incomprehensible muttering as she continues her fruitless search, this time localized to the space around the fireplace and the bathroom door. Finally understanding what has her in such a tizzy, Steven leaps to his feet and books it down the stairs. Oh geeze, of course she’s freaking out, she thinks his gemstone disappeared entirely, or walked off, or got stolen! She has no way of knowing what happened on the beach early this morning. None of the others do. Someone’s gotta tell her, and that someone can only be him. Rushing to his guardian, he tugs at her arm.

“Pearl!”

She forces a laugh, the sound of it neurotic and unhinged, as her fumbling fingers remove a small photo of the four of them off its hook on the wall. “Well at least we can say for certain it’s not hiding behind this framed photograph!” she announces, smile stretched just a bit too wide. “Just one less infinite possibility to check…”

“Pearl, listen, I—”

“And it’s not like it could simply roll off the table without a trace, right? Am I right??”

“Please, you don’t have to freak out, ‘cause I—”

“But it’s okay Steven, there’s no need to panic! I know we’ll find it eventually, yes we will, of course we will, how could we—”

“I have it!” he blurts out, grabbing both of her shaking hands. “I have it.”

Held securely in his, her hands fall silent. The panic drains from her in but a breath as she stops to contextualize what he’s just said and what it means, her mouth slipping ajar ever so slight. Sensing that he’s firmly caught her attention now, he continues, heart hammering away in his chest.

“Last night, the gem reformed as me, a-and… we fused back together.”

“You— so you’re back to normal,” she says with glassy eyes, voice softer now. 

He tugs at the collar of his pajamas. “Well, more or less. There’s a bit of a catch, and I’m pretty sure none of you are gonna like it.”

Her expression is blank with confusion. “Uhhh— a catch?” 

“Y’know, it’s probably easier if I just show you,” he reasons with a nervous chuckle, and— sweat beading on his forehead— lifts the nightshirt to reveal his gem.  

Pearl kneels down to peer at it straight on, hand balled into a fist at her chin. “Oh!” she says first, brows shooting up on her face. Then, her features narrowing the more and more she looks at the newly exposed facets of his diamond: ”Ohhhh…”

“This is what her gem looked like, isn’t it?” he asks. “Pink’s?” 

Her eyes shoot wide open at his query. “I, uh—”

Immediately, her palm clamps tight over her mouth, strangling whatever knowledge she was planning to share next. 

Steven cringes as he watches her struggle against the order his mo— Pink must have submitted her to, a seed of guilt churning deep within as he covers his gem again. “Oh, right. You can’t… sorry, I forgot. We can talk about something else, if you want!”

She’s thankfully able to pull her hand away before too long. A distant part of him wonders how this gag order works, how it was placed, how specific it is, if there’s any loopholes they could possibly find to skirt around it without hurting her…

“I— I’d appreciate that,” she admits, suddenly looking very tired. 

A lopsided smile brightening her face even despite her exhaustion, she reaches up to affectionately ruffle his hair. He flashes her a boyish grin as her touch flattens some of his wild curls against his forehead. 

“You know,” she says quietly, glancing at him with such a fondness reflected in her pale irises that it almost makes him forget all the stress he’s endured, almost makes him believe nothing’s changed since yesterday at all, “there may be a lot of subjects I can’t speak openly about, but what I can say is that I’m so glad to see your beautiful smile again.”

“Pearl,” he responds, blushing with half-hearted embarrassment.

“Now let’s clean up this mess before your father wakes up, shall we?” the pale Gem chuckles nervously as she rubs her hands together, glancing between the trashed ground floor of the beach house and the middle aged man miraculously still snoozing away in the loft above. 

“Nose-goes on kitchen!” he says hurriedly, tapping his finger against the tip of his nose. 

She feeds him a mock gasp, already crossing behind the counter to start returning the plates and glasses to their rightful homes in the cabinet. “Oh, you rascal! How ever will I organize all this by myself?”

Steven gives a soft laugh, and then promptly sets himself on tidying duty. First priority are the board games strewn across the floorboards in the corner. He kneels and begins arranging the boxes into piles. From there, he stacks each pile nice and neat on the shelf by the window. After straightening the stacks so the box corners line up the way Pearl likes it, he moves to pull open the blinds to let more sunlight in the house. A blissful smile stretches across his face as he pauses his work to bask in the morning glow. 

Already feeling a good deal more content about everything in the reminder of daybreak’s inevitability, he turns to Pearl. “Not gonna lie, I’m kinda surprised Dad was able to stay asleep through all our racket.”

“Greg?” she scoffs and rolls her eyes, piling a stack of plates on one of the shelves. “That man sleeps like a rock. Which I suppose,” she continues, resting her freed hand against her chin in contemplation, “as an idiom, is actually rather ironic considering that ‘rock’ is common slang for ‘Gem,’ and Gemkind as a whole doesn’t have a physiological need for sleep.”

“Well, I think you can blame humans for that one,” he laughs, picking the missing couch cushion off the floor and returning it to its humble home. “For anyone outside Beach City, rocks don’t actually move!”

Ever so slight, the edge of her lips turn up. “I suppose that’s true, yes…”

They fall into a fairly comfortable silence for a while after that, as they put the finishing touches on the final nooks and crannies of the beach house that needed their attention. Steven makes sure the floor is spotless, every stray pillow, toy, or decorative item returned to its rightful place. Pearl completes her kitchen tidying crusade, having even re-organized the cups on the shelves by color and type. By the end of it he can declare with ample pride that the place looks leagues cleaner than it did yesterday. For good measure, Pearl pulls a broom out of her gemstone and sweeps up any debris littering the floor. He helps out by holding the dustpan steady as she brushes granules of sand and stray dust bunnies in. 

“There!” she proclaims once they’re finished, surveying her roost as she holds the broom with the same level of decorum with which one might hold a rebellion era rampart. “That’s much better, don’t you think?”

The ground nearly shimmers in its cleanliness. He presents her with a hearty thumbs-up.

“Yeah, looks great!”

With a big yawn, he glances up at his father’s slumbering figure in the loft above, for a moment jealous that he’s not still snoozing away too. Four or five hours (or however long it’s been since he crawled back into bed, he hasn’t checked the clock yet) simply isn’t enough rest for a growing boy. He always tries to aim for eight or nine. Maybe he can bridge that gap now, though? Would it help, he thinks, if he falls back asleep a good twenty minutes after he woke? Or would this disruption to his sleep pattern only make him drowsier? As he ponders this mystery, he ambles past Pearl, heading straight to the couch.

“Steven,” she says with poorly disguised concern as she watches him flop head first onto the cushions in his sheer exhaustion. “I want you to know… If you need to talk about what happened, then I—”

“I’m just a little tired, don’t worry about me,” he says, rolling up onto his side, eyes drooping shut as he curls tight into himself.

“Don’t wor—” Pearl cuts herself off, choked up. She’s at his side in a flash, and he feels the cushion adjust for her weight as she sits herself adjacent. “How can I not worry about you? You went through something no child… no Gem should ever have to experience!”

“But I’m fine now,” he points out, eyes cracking open a smidge. “I’m completely fine, and you guys dealt with Bismuth, a-and we fixed it like we always do, so- so there’s no point in fixating on what could’ve happened, right?”

She rests her hand on his shoulder, her fingers shifting over the seam of his pajamas as if she’s suddenly a complete stranger to the art of comforting. Normally he lives for her shows of affection— her occasional head pats, the loose side hugs, a hand clasped tight on his arm as she gently leads him through hazardous terrain on missions— but in his mounting desire to be left alone in peace to rest, he bristles under her touch. She doesn’t seem to catch onto the hint, though. Still hidden behind his neutral expression, he grits his teeth.

“I-it’s not a matter of fixation,” she continues, “it’s a matter of unpacking difficult emotions. You have to understand, the state of being cracked, it’s not one that most full Gems are easily able to bounce back from, and I just want to ensure that you’re not—”

“I said I’m fine, really, I am!” he snaps. “You don’t have to keep fussing about it! And anyways, it’s all over now, isn’t it? So can’t we at least try to move on from this and let things be halfway normal again?!”

Pearl reacts like she’s been physically struck. She yanks her hand back, resting her palms on her knees as she turns her head away. A cautious glance at her face (or at least the half she hasn’t intentionally obscured from his sight) shows one muddled with a blend of melancholy and that sort of silent displeasure he’s long since grown to associate with disappointed parents, particularly Connie’s. He swallows hard, shame settling heavy like the diamond at the pit of his stomach. He went too far. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles as he sits upright, cheeks heating up. He stares at his fingers, flexing them to some imaginary rhythm. 

She doesn’t vocally respond to his apology, but her form does grow visibly less tense. It’s a start.

Fully audible through the walls of the house, the tides crash onto shore, gently pulsing in and out. It doesn’t take much listening before the pace of his heart matches the ocean’s unwavering drumbeat to the letter. His naive young mind twitchy under the bewitching throes of the unnatural silence, he yearns for some concrete image to latch onto, something, anything to spirit him away from the present. Not before long, distant threads of memory from the strange dream he woke up from this morning rise to meet his pleas.

Most of the details are as fuzzy, indistinct and abstract as one might expect from a dream, but nevertheless just enough specificity remains that he can’t help but wonder if this was far more than your run-of-the-mill moonlight fantasy. Frowning pensively, he balls his hand against his chin. Hmmmm. What can he recall? The sky was streaked with lines of pink and orange, for one. The tides swelled with the same unwavering prowess as they do this morning. He knows he was standing somewhere near the temple, because he clearly saw one of the stone hands half-buried on the sandy shore. A familiar ivory and peach figure stood defiant and distraught before him— no, not him!— before his…

“You always do this, Rose!” 

His hands. They were wide, pale, free of the familiar calluses built up from years of plucking strings on his ukulele, they… they weren’t his. This body wasn’t his. 

Rose. He was dreaming about Rose. But why, and how? He’s had dreams with her in them before, but they were always different, they were always from his own perspective. They were always fluid and nonsensical. This, however… this one felt different, somehow. More tangible.

Almost… real.

“You never even considered asking me how I’d feel,” she says, voice thick. “And that’s your problem, isn’t it? You never do!”

Realization dawns over him like the glow of the morning sun rising above the horizon. A sudden sickness churns in his stomach. He’s almost horrified— disgusted, even— with his past actions. How could he bear to brush Pearl off so rudely like that? 

She just… wants to know how I feel about all this, he thinks, throat constricting as he swallows hard. She wanted to know if I’m okay! But- is she even okay?

Is there more to this dream of his than meets the eye? Is his subconscious trying to tell him something, trying to lead him to take some sort of action? Have they really not checked in with her about her feelings enough?

His fingers drum against his leg as he gathers the nerve to speak again. 

“Hey…”

“Yes?” Pearl says, tone clipped. She’s still glancing out the window, turned away from him. 

“How are you handling all this? Everything’s suddenly so different, and…” He grips the fabric of his pajama bottoms, his eyes burning hot. “I know you can’t tell us much about it, but I just wanna make sure you’re doin’ okay too.”

She finally meets his glance, her gaze glassy and wet. Her bottom lip quivers, so subtle he almost doesn’t pick up on it. In all the time he’s lived with her, he’s not sure he’s ever seen her so vulnerable, and the sight of it drives a razor sharp point right through his heart. He takes a deep, grounding breath, and continues.

“And I want you to know I don’t blame you for this,” he reassures. “Even though you couldn’t tell us anything, that’s not your fault.”

“Thank you,” she says, her voice breaking.

“If there’s any stuff I can do to make things easier for you, promise you’ll let me know?”

Her ice blue irises skate upwards as she deliberates, grasping for an answer to his open ended question. Steven clasps his hands together in his lap, and simply waits in silent patience. His legs dangle back and forth over the edge of the couch. 

Pearl sighs, her long suffering weariness evident. “If, in the future, you could avoid asking probing questions about your mother or abo- about my past on Homeworld, that would be a great help.” She presses her thumb and forefinger firm against her forehead, right under her gem. “It’s… painful, suffice it to say, when the programming kicks in. And to answer your first question, I’m honestly trying not to think about any of it too much. Like you, it would seem,” she adds with a bit of a mirthful chuckle. “I can’t claim it’s good advice, but that’s where I’m at.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeats with a sniffle, leaning into her shoulder.

Tenderly, she wraps her arms around him and nestles her cheek against his mop of curly hair. It’s a blissful comfort, a wordless promise that more than anything else makes him feel safe. Secure.

“So am I,” she whispers, a handful of tears slipping down her cheeks.

Chapter Text

In time, the rest of the household bursts to life.

His dad wakes up an hour or so later on his own accord, rolling out of bed and groggily stumbling into the bathroom to soak in the shower for a solid twenty minutes. Steven eagerly shares the good news— I’m whole again!— after he finally emerges, and while it takes a fair moment for his still half-conscious mind to fully grasp what he’s attempting to explain, Dad lifts him off the floor and spins him around in his arms after the message finally lands, laughing with joy. Compared with Pearl, his reaction to the gem’s rotation is minimal, which comes as a sweet relief. 

“I’m just glad to see ya’ smiling and in one piece again,” he says, holding him close.

Dad greets Pearl with an amicable nod before setting out from the house to check on his van, promising he’ll be back in a few minutes with the waffle iron for breakfast. Steven’s mouth waters at the mere thought of his homemade waffles, golden, crisp, and stacked sky high, their flavor— buttery, with a hint of lemon zest— bursting like fireworks against his tongue. Nobody makes waffles like he can, not a single person in the whole wide world. While waiting for Dad to return with breakfast materials, he changes into clean jeans and a shirt. Yawning, he flops onto his belly on the couch with plans of playing a mobile game on his phone, only to find…

Steven groans, dropping his head face first into the middle of the cushion. His phone’s battery is so low that now it won’t turn on at all. Dead as a doorstop! He must’ve forgotten to plug it in before bed for the umpteenth thousandth time, even though he noticed the charge was almost to zero early this morning on the beach. Typical. 

“Is the world ending again over there?” asks Pearl— currently lounging at the kitchen counter— with a playful lilt to her voice. “Do we need to call in the rest of the resistance?”

“Noooo, it’s fine,” he replies, his words drawn out with dramatic flair. “This is a path I must walk alone, for I’m the lad who forgets.” He rolls over onto his back, stretching his free arm towards the ceiling as if reaching towards the knots etched within the wooden beams with mounting desperation. “And to forget is the dark burden I bear,” he whispers dramatically.

“You didn’t plug your phone in last night, did you?”

“Whoa, how’d you guess??”

“Steven, you do realize I’ve lived with you for almost three years, yes?”

“Oh,” he says, brows shooting up. “Right!”

Humming, he pulls himself off the couch and trots up the steps to the loft. He sets his phone on his nightstand and connects it to the charge cord. Unfortunately, it'll take a while for it to build up enough juice to turn on again. That’ll teach him. Or maybe it won’t, time will tell. He just hopes it won’t be out of commission for too long, though, because after last night’s weird text he really should call Connie about all this…

The temple door pulls open. He whirls around upon the dawn of that familiar sound, just in time to watch Amethyst emerge from the depths of her room. Her hair is a mess, her eyes droop in exhaustion, and for a flash he catches her digging one of her fingers halfway up her nose. Aww, man. She looks sad, like she needs a great big hug. 

“Hey,” she mutters, and yawns. “Any word on ol’ Steven 2?”

“Amethyst, Amethyst, Amethyst,” he hollers, beaming from ear to ear, and leaps from the loft to greet her. He doesn’t even bother floating, with no need for a soft landing from this height. The impact of his bare feet against the floorboards reverberates through the whole house. “Guess what??”

He flings his arms around her with such spirited gusto that he almost knocks her clear over. (Although by this point, if she’s not used to his hug attacks that’s her problem.) 

“Uhhh, what?”

“Steven, what have I told you about jumping from the loft?” Pearl’s stern voice rings from across the room.

“I’m the full package again,” he declares, pulling away from the embrace to throw his arms out wide with celebratory emphasis. “My gem reformed and then we fused!”

Despite her otherwise low energy, Amethyst cracks a grin at his good news. “Whoa, really? When was this?”

“This morning! I was up super early. Couldn’t sleep.”

“Sheesh. You and me both, bud.”

“At least you don’t actually need to sleep. Lucky.” 

“I mean, sure, but I’ve been making a habit of it for so long that not sleeping pretty much has the same effect,” she says, crossing the room to sit on the couch. She stretches back with a performative yawn, body sinking into the familiar curves of the cushion she always claims, and props one of her hands behind her mass of lavender hair. “Ah, that’s more like it! So, uh… after everything that like… y’know… happened—” she makes a lazy gesture towards the gem at his midsection— “how are ‘ya feelin’ now?”

Her tone swells with marked hesitance, quite rare for someone as footloose and go-with-the-flow as Amethyst. Steven frowns as he studies her closer, as he notes the way her shoulders hunch inwards… the way her brows crease together in such a line-y and stressed way as she pins her piercing gaze on him… her form all but wracked with tension. Is she like… actually okay? Because between this and how bedraggled and droopy she looked coming out of her room, he can’t help but be worried. He knows there’s still all that stuff with Jasper a few days ago that she hasn’t fully sorted out, but now her sadness seems like… advanced sadness. 

Sadness he can’t do anything to help fix in the space of one morning, just like he’s powerless to help Pearl feel less trapped. It’s endlessly frustrating to him. ‘Cause like, isn’t that his whole thing? Being everyone’s solid, encouraging rock? Helping people feel better?

 Still, after the conversation he had with the aforementioned Gem earlier this morning he’s pretty sure there’s not much point in hiding the broad truth of his feelings from them, is there?

He shrugs, the corner of his mouth twisting upwards. “I mean… not great,” he admits. “I’m in one piece again, but… everything’s different now, y’know? Even though I don’t want it to be.”

If it’s possible, her expression grows even more downcast, the fringe of her hair shadowing her pinched features. “Yeah. Yeah, I hear ya’ on that.”

At the dour sight of such emotional deflation, his mind flickers back towards the visceral reaction she had yesterday to the reveal of his mo— to Rose’s secret past. She really, really didn’t take it well, huh? In fact… oh stars, he’s so stupid, is that what her moodiness this morning is about?

“Y’guys! New headline! We just found out Rose was a total sham!”

“Steven.”

He clamps down on a grimace as he tries his absolute best not to think about the flipped diamond at his core, about the fact that it basically acts as a permanent visual reminder of this entire catastrophe whether he wants it it to or not, about the severe way— given her anger at Rose— she might respond to it. 

“Steven,” she repeats with further emphasis, yanking him out of his head. He gives a sharp exhale. It’s only now he notices the comforting weight of her hand cupping his shoulder. “Y’good, my guy? You’re like, totally zoning out on me.”

With a heavy sigh that probably sounds like it should be coming from his middle aged dad instead of him, he decides to rip off the bandaid and just show her. After all, it’s not like she won’t find out eventually. Better she hears it from him rather than through the gossipy grapevine. 

“Oh, just thinkin’ about… y’know, stuff,” he mumbles, carding his fingertips through his curls.

She raises a brow. “Stuff like—?”

“Weird stuff. Stuff w-with—”

In all his nervousness his words falter. His fraying focus drifts from the conversation at hand, briefly catching on Pearl’s watchful gaze from across the room instead. The Gem nods, giving her blessing for him to continue.

“—with my gem. I haven’t showed you or Garnet yet, but it kinda… flipped? I’m not really sure what any of this means yet.”

To prove his claim, Steven lifts up the hem of his t-shirt, barring the diamond for all to see.

Amethyst squints from her spot on the couch. “What the fu—”

“Amethyst,” Pearl interjects sternly, crossing towards the pair of them.

“—uuuuuudge is that? Gems can do that?”

She rolls her eyes. “Somehow I doubt that every Gem can—”

“Oooo, lemme try!” she squeals with a jarring rush of glee, leaping to her feet in one continuous arc and throwing her arms aloft.

Her gemstone begins to glow a soft purple as the finer details of her form blur into an indistinguishable mass of light. The edges of this light bend and wobble, and she seethes in intense concentration, but despite her best efforts her gemstone refuses to budge.

Gasping for breath, her hard-light form snaps back into its customary shape like a rubber band. The light fades, revealing her soured scowl. “Aww man, no fair! Everyone else gets all the cool powers.”

“Hah, well, I wouldn’t call it a power, really. I didn’t exactly do it on purpose,” Steven says with a nonchalant shrug. 

The screen door slams open then, prompting everyone in the room to sling their attention to the man standing tall and proud in the entryway with a cast iron kitchen appliance brandished like a sword in his hands. 

“Who’s excited for waffles?” he asks, his grin contagious. 

Steven shoots his hand in the air. “Oooh, me, me! I’m excited for waffles!”

“Then I guess today’s your lucky day,” he chuckles, moving across the house to the counter. “Now, any of you wanna help a man out here? I’m not exactly a four-armed kitchen master, or anything…”

He grins, practically soaring across the room towards him. “Let me help, Dad! I can be your four-armed kitchen master!“

Pearl steps forward, clasping her palms firm atop his shoulders.   

“That’s quite all right Steven, why don’t you go have fun? Your father and I can handle this by ourselves,” she glances behind at him, “don’t you think?”

“Aww, what?”

“I, um—” his dad stammers, threading anxious fingers through a thick length of hair. 

“Plus, I’ve taken the liberty of gathering all the necessary ingredients and supplies already,” she chimes, raising en pointe as she triumphantly jabs her finger in the air. 

“Wow, you, uh- thank you.”

Huh, interesting. Dad seems to be taken aback at her amicable response, clearly not expecting to see this lighter side of her demeanor given her former animosity towards him. It makes sense, though. Their family trip to Empire City— the night the tides of their once strained relationship forever changed— wasn’t that long ago, after all. 

Steven follows them to the kitchen area anyways, stars in his eyes as he rapturously watches their amicable interactions. Showcasing a surprising capacity for teamwork, they set up the waffle iron and start to prepare that gooey, delicious batter. His mouth waters at the mere scent of the lemon his dad squeezes into the bowl. Acting on unspoken impulse, Pearl grabs a whisk and accepts the bowl from him, beating the mix of ingredients until it’s reached the perfect consistency. The tastiest pancakes and waffles come from batter that’s still a little lumpy, his dad always says, since that causes them to rise better. In any case, his taste buds can hardly wait. 

“I’m so hungry I think I could eat like, four bazillion waffles,” he tells Amethyst in the most candid voice he can muster, relocating to the couch she’s lounging on with a hop and a skip.

“Heh,” she says, a suitably up-to-no-good smirk framing her face. “Not if I get to all of ‘em first!”

“Whaaat? Naw, come on, you wouldn’t do that to your favorite Steven!”

“Are you kidding? I’d steal food from myself! After I swallowed it.”

“Ewww,” he laughs, his nose scrunching up. 

They continue to laugh together for a solid few seconds, but the enthusiasm holding their facades together in such a precarious manner soon fades. Meanwhile, in the background Dad and Pearl converse as easily as if they’d never carried that decades-long feud to begin with. (Oh, the sweet irony of this reversal!) Steven clamps his lips together, for once clueless what to say to Amethyst to make everything better. It’s so frustrating. Their conversations aren’t usually like this. They aren’t so… stilted, like he has to traverse to her across a lake of thin ice. He sighs, feeling his chest rise and fall with a weight almost heavier than the memory of the last few hours. That’s the one thing he fears most, if he’s honest about all this— that as a consequence of this mess Rose left him, his relationships with the Gems will never be the same again. 

He can only guess Amethyst heard his sigh, because she’s the one who moves to break the silence first.

“Hey, uh,” she begins quietly, and shoots a quick glance at Pearl, meeting her eyes briefly before looking back at him. “So everything I said last night, I… um—”

He frowns, the memory of her words’ sting suddenly looping itself in his mind like a broken record.

“And then, what? She creates you just so she doesn’t have to deal with the fact she’s a liar?”

“Oh. You—” he scratches at the back of his neck— “you don’t need to apologize for that. We were all pretty stressed, I get it. It’s fine.”

“No, but it’s not!” she insists, her expression stretching wide. “What I said about you, it wasn’t just mean, it was wrong. Like, I still feel like I don’t know anything about Rose, or Pink, or whatever anymore, okay? But just because I don’t get anything doesn’t mean I get to take it out on— gah, forget it,” she says hurriedly, waving the thought away. “The point is, I’m sorry, y’know? For real.”

The earnesty of her words covers his wounds like a salve. Blinking heavily, he throws his arms around her, burying his face into her hair. 

“Apology heartily accepted,” he says, muffled. 

The stiffness in her form eases up, and she finally, truly allows herself to hug him back. 

“Thanks, dude.”

From that point forward, the atmosphere of the house grows notably lighter. No longer needing to worry about the state of his relationship with Amethyst, Steven throws himself into the nuttiness and excitement of family time feet first. The two of them horse around while Dad and Pearl continue making breakfast, wrestling each other in front of the warp pad. It doesn’t take long for a stack of perfectly cooked golden brown waffles to pile up on the counter. Catching his breath from all the play fighting, he eagerly rushes to sit himself at the counter next to the others, empty plate and utensils already set in front of them. A ring of breathless laughter fills the room with cheer as he pulls himself up onto the stool. Steven cracks a smile. It’s Pearl, laughing at one of Dad’s corny jokes. She’ll never admit it, but she has a secret sweet spot for his puns.

The temple door slides open— a rush of slightly stale air wafting in to greet them— as Dad removes the last waffles from the iron. Beaming, Steven’s attention immediately peels away from the promise of food in favor of the entrance of one of his most favorite people in the whole wide world.

“Garnet!” he calls, throwing his arms wide. 

“Good morning, Steven,” she says with a slight sing-song lilt in her voice, crossing the room towards the rest of the family. With a slight smile, she places her hands solid on his shoulders. “I presume you figured out how to fuse back together with your other half.”

“Yup! All together,” he grins, titling his neck back to peer up at her.

“Except his gem flipped, and now it’s all funky,” Amethyst interjects in a flash, playfully jabbing him right at his navel. 

Garnet’s comforting grip slackens, her hands slipping free. 

“Hey!” he giggles, smacking Amethyst’s arm away. “No tickling!”

“It’s not tickling, it’s revenge!” she says with a loud raspy chortle, and puts him in a headlock, scruffing at his hair until it’s a frizzy mess. He kicks his legs in futile protest as she mounts her attack, laughing until the pressure in his lungs is too much to handle and tears prickle at the corner of his eyes. It’s the most he’s laughed since… well, since before he was cracked.

The others, however, aren’t smiling. They don’t seem to be paying any attention to their antics at all. Pearl’s hand is balled at her chin, her soft blue eyes pinned on the Crystal Gem leader. Even his dad’s peering at her with concern, the spatula dangling loose within his grasp.

“Garnet?” his dad asks, his frown deepening the faint wrinkles around his eyes.

“Are you all right?” Pearl chimes in. 

“I…” She clenches her fists, averting her glance. “I don’t understand. Your gem—”

Amethyst scoffs. “—is all topsy-turvy shaped now, and it’s totally weird. Steven, show her!”

He gives a slight scowl, subtle enough that the others don’t pick up on it. Stars, he wishes she wasn’t being so darn pushy about this, that she would just trust him to find the right moment to tell Garnet himself. But with everyone around him watching in rapt anticipation, he feels like he’s been backed right into a corner. He’s gotta tell her now.

What other choice does he have?

Sighing heavily, he lifts his shirt, exposing his gem. “After I fused with my gem half, it was just like this. I still don’t get why.”

Her visor may cover her eyes, but he knows the spectrum of her expressions well enough that they don’t need to be visible for him to know all three pupils have shrunk into pinpricks. Her mouth widens into a horrified circle, crystallizing in the wake of her shock. 

“Oh,” she breathes, grinding her fists inwards. “I- I never foresaw this possibility.”

Sweat beads at his brow. Even though she’s trying to mask it (probably for his sake), he can tell she’s struggling to keep from falling apart, just like she was back at the fountain. Her hands are visibly quivering, and the gems inlaid in her palms pulse with light. He swallows hard, a lump hanging heavy in his throat. “Heh, what can I say?” he shrugs with a nervous laugh. “Guess I’m just really unpredictable!”

“Perhaps,” she says in a low, pensive tone, thankfully managing to pull herself together again. She flexes her fingers, their tremors receding. Crossing her arms, she crosses around the counter to lean against the wall by the fridge.

The household falls so quiet that Steven can outright hear his own stomach gurgle, everyone staring at the fusion in wordless worry. 

His dad coughs. “Well, anyways,” he says, spinning the spatula in a nifty circle within his grasp. “The waffles are ready! Who wants some?”

“Lay ‘em on me,” Amethyst says, holding out her plate. He dishes her out two to start. She shoots him a pair of finger guns, and digs in. 

“Okay. I’m assuming none for Pearl?”

“That would be correct, thanks.”

He turns towards the Crystal Gem leader next, a weak grin stretching across his face despite the soured atmosphere. 

“What about you, Garnet?” Wanna try the ol’ Universe family recipe?”

She shakes her head in a singular motion. “No, thank you.”

The churning in Steven’s stomach fades into obscurity in light of the bitter pill he’s forced to swallow… the blunt truth of his guardian’s current emotional instability. Man, Garnet too? Why is his whole family still acting so weird? Literally all he wants from everyone is what they always expect from him when facing potentially world-ending catastrophe— to put those events behind him, bury their horror deep within his memory where it can’t touch him, and move on. So why can’t they? He slumps on his stool as Dad serves him up next, depositing a pair of golden, buttery waffles on his plate. His dad even goes to the effort of artfully garnishing the stack with a dollop of whipped cream and a cluster of fresh raspberries, but to be honest, the idea of together breakfast no longer sounds very appetizing to him anymore. After all, it’s not the food that makes a together breakfast, it’s the company. And with Pearl and Dad standing nervously to the side, Garnet struggling to remain stable, and even Amethyst sapped of her usual spunk in the light of all her lingering inner struggles, this is about as far from together a family can get. So what on Earth did he do wrong? Why isn’t this the sunny future Garnet showed him in her future vision last night? 

Leaning his cheek into the palm of his hand, he aimlessly picks at his breakfast with his fork. 

Amethyst glances over at him, already neck deep into her own dish. “Eat up little man, they’re super good!”

His mouth scrunches up more and more into a grimace the longer he stares at the food. It looks wonderful, but…

He nudges the plate away, shoulders drooping. “Actually, I’m not all that hungry anymore.”

“Steven, you need to eat,” his dad says.

“I just said, I’m not hungry.”

Dad’s brow furrows as he leverages one of his rare father knows best faces at him. Steven looks to Pearl for a rescue, but she (perhaps wisely) averts her eyes, choosing not to interject herself into Greg’s parenting. 

Amethyst, however, is more than reckless and willing to take up the charge. “If you don’t eat up in two minutes, I’m claiming them myself,” she threatens, deadpan. “I’ll lick them, nice and slow, with lots of slobber, and then they’ll all be mine, y’got it?”

“Okay, okay!” he says, throwing his hands up. “Geeze.” 

He blows a weary burst of air past his lips, grabs his fork, and begins digging in anyways. Anything to appease his guardians, they seem like they really mean business. The first bites settle like stones in the pit of his empty stomach. As expected. He has to admit though, even if his appetite is zilch, they’re still pretty good tasting waffles. 

All his guardians seem to relax upon seeing him finally start to put food in his system. Dad turns his focus to enjoying his own breakfast. Amethyst stops clutching her fork with the sheer intensity she holds her whip with. Pearl allows herself to slouch back against the counter. Garnet finally uncrosses her arms. Out of the corner of his eyes, he catches a glimpse of the aforementioned fusion picking up the can of whipped cream and squirting some directly into her mouth when she thought the other two Gems weren’t looking. The corner of his mouth perks up. Looks like someone has a secret sweet tooth! 

He’s halfway through the second of the pair of waffles when the quartz sitting next to him grins devilishly. 

“Hey…”

“Hnn?” he utters, muffled through the food in his mouth. 

She flicks a raspberry at him. “Catch this hide!” 

He yelps, just barely ducking in time to miss the fruit. It falls apart upon impact on the floor, its juices exploding outward across the wood. 

“Touchdown,” she says, and blows off her finger as if it were a pistol. 

The edge of his lips curve up, chipping away at his melancholy. “Oh, I smell what you’re steppin’ in!” 

Pearl groans, throwing her hand against her temple. “Must you two really—”

“Pearl,” Garnet says coolly as she leans back against the fridge, the whipped cream can still dangling at the edge of her grasp. “Let them have this.”

“But we just cleaned this place!”

Amethyst chucks another cluster of berries at him, but this time he’s expecting her fruity projectiles. He cranes his neck back, letting his mouth fall open wide. One of the raspberries bounces off his chin. Close, but not quite. If he’s quick enough, maybe he can catch one in his mouth. That’d be pretty awesome! Thankfully she seems to catch on to his ploy, because she starts to toss them underhand. He stifles giggles as he successfully snaps one— no, two— berries right out of the air. 

“There’s some days I feel like we’re raising two children,” he hears Pearl comment to his dad offhand, as they watch them fool around with their food from the sidelines.

“And there’s some days I feel like I’m stuck raising four,” Dad mutters under his breath.

“What?”

He coughs into his fist. “Uh, nothing!” 

She raises a vaguely disgruntled brow at him, but doesn’t say anything more on the matter. 

Steven and Amethyst gleefully continue messing around with their edible projectiles until they grow bored of it, upon which they return to eating their food like (mostly normal) beings. Really though, he can only speak for himself, since she’s recently taken to eating the paper plates right alongside her meals. He grins through a mouthful of whipped cream as he rides the high of their impromptu raspberry brawl. This is one of the many things he loves and admires about her, that she always knows how to cheer him up when he needs it. Before their little food fight, the soured atmosphere of his household almost left him feeling sick to his stomach, but he already feels a lot better. Needless to say, with his restored appetite the last waffle doesn’t take long to disappear. 

“Are you sure you don’t wanna try one?” he asks Garnet while depositing his plate in the trash, weaving between Pearl and his father as they begin to clean the kitchen. “There’s still some extras, and Dad’s waffles are batter than anything!”

He contorts his features into the most exaggerated expression he can muster, waiting with bated breath for the shoe to drop. From the other side of the counter, Amethyst snorts. 

But disappointingly, Garnet doesn’t seem to be into this idea today. Her nostrils twitch with an uncertain air, the straight edge of her visor casting a deep shadow upon the contours of her face. She stands with her arms hugged tight around her torso, like a tourniquet wrapped around a bleeding wound. “Not now, Steven.”

And in the space of those three simple words, his little heart shatters into pieces. She almost always smiles at his corny puns, always! So for her to barely even acknowledge them, for her to bottle away all her usual joy and confidence and quiet wit and hide it under a rock solid mask of falsified indifference, it stings more than anything. He thought she’d grown past this sort of stoicism.

“Garnet, what’s wrong?” he asks, voice cracking in his anguish. The others all look up from whatever they’re doing with obvious curiosity, all of them probably asking the same question inside their heads but none having the courage to broach the topic except him. “You’ve been like this all morning, ever since—”

With a shallow gasp, his eyes grow glassy. Her mood drastically changed the moment she saw his flipped gem. He clamps his hands over his mouth.

Oh, shards.

He caused this, didn’t he?

Both Pearl and Dad move on automatic at the sight of his emotional distress, the Gem solidly clasping his shoulder, and his father wrapping his arms around him. Across the counter, Amethyst bites at her bottom lip, expression alight with genuine compassion.  

“Steven.” Garnet kneels to address him face-to-face, sighing heavy in her exhaustion. He quickly blinks through the hot burn of unshed tears, peering up at her like she’s the centerpiece of his whole universe. “The truth is, I— we have something we need to share. With all of you.”

The room fills with uncomfortable tension, the shock of her admission and its concerningly specific wording sinking in like maple syrup soaking through a waffle’s airy layers. 

He rubs at the corner of one of his eyes. “W- we? I don’t—”

Pearl steps towards her, shaking her head in a daze. “Garnet, no, surely you don’t mean that…”

“Ruby and Sapphire had a long discussion last night, and… have decided they want to take some time apart. Indefinitely.”

Steven’s chest rumbles, shaken with cries anchored too deep in his soul for him to actually express. In but a heartbeat his dad pulls him closer.

“But… why?” Amethyst asks, face painted in shades of faint betrayal.

She adjusts her visor. “Because in the wake of recent revelations, we’ve realized that we only remained Garnet because of her.”

“Garnet, you—” Pearl stammers— “now you know that’s not true! You saved each other’s lives, you fell in love with each other, you—”

“We stayed fused because a diamond took us by the hands and ordered us not to question who we were as Garnet,” she corrected. “Ruby and Sapphire, they never truly got the luxury to seek self fulfillment as individuals, not like you or Amethyst have. We… we both need space to reflect on what’s happened.”

Slowly swaying in his dad’s embrace, hugging those sturdy, dependable arms to his chest, Steven speaks up, voice thick with grief.

“If both of you have been hurting ever since last night, t-then… then why didn’t you unfuse already? Why push through it just to come to breakfast?”

The fusion pauses, probably considering her phrasing. She briefly balls her hand at her chin, fingers pressing against one of her gems, and then taking a breath, allows her visor to shimmer away entirely. Her eyes glisten as she imparts her honest answer.

“If I unfused earlier, I wouldn’t have gotten to hug you goodbye.”

He can’t stifle his sobs any longer. Breaking away from his dad, he throws himself at Garnet and— pressing his cheek against her chest— gives a keening cry, the mounting pressure abruptly releasing from his lungs. Not a single lick of moisture careens down his face, however. He’s cried too many tears in such a short span of time that he almost wonders if he’s finally hit the bottom of that well. Nevertheless, he dry sobs in her arms until his throat aches, vying to burn the comforting sensation of his guardian’s solid hold— the assurance of the even thrum running through her hard-light body— into his memory forever. 

The other two Gems join in the embrace, kneeling on the floor with him and wrapping themselves around him like a blanket.

“You- but you can’t just leave us,” Amethyst whispers brokenly. “Not now!”

She sighs, pressing her forehead against the smaller Gem’s. “I know this is gonna hurt you, I know. And I’m sorry. We’re so, so, sorry. But we both need time, time to understand who we are apart from Garnet."

“Yeah, but…”

“Listen to me,” she says gently, pulling back and lifting her chin. “You are enough. An inimitable cut of quartz, just as you are. Please. Even in your darkest moments, never let yourself forget the depth of your worth.”

She nods, her lip quivering.

“And Pearl.” 

The ebony Gem peels away from the hug at her beckoning, her pale blue irises glinting through the liquid pooling at their bottom edge.

“In my absence, I need you to be strong. Not only for yourself, but for all of us. The Crystal Gems will do well under your leadership.”

She hums in confirmation, taking her new mission to heart. “Of course,” she says, straightening her back and sniffing away her tears. 

Garnet turns her saddened gaze to him next, passing her fingers through his tangled mop of hair. “Steven.”

“Y-yeah?”

“None of this is your fault.”

“B-b-but—” he blubbers.

“None of it. The past is not your burden. And any time you begin to fear it is, I want you to pause… take a deep breath… and remember how much we all love you for you. You are your own Gem."

He bobs his head slowly, sniffling as his breath evens out. 

The fusion sits back on her heels, ending their long embrace.

“Greg,” she says as she stands, leveling her three eyes directly at him. Though Steven has no clue what, some silent conversation passes between the two of them— like a charge passing through intricate circuitry— in a series of subtle, indecipherable expressions. “Take care of my family.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he replies evenly, wiping a stray tear away from his own cheek. 

Closing her eyes, Garnet begins to glow a soft white. The gems at the core of her being shift and separate into two smaller bodies. At the very moment the light fades they’re still holding hands, but Sapphire is the first to let go… her gloved fingers falling loose against the skirt of her dress. She makes no attempt to mask her despair. As always the fringe of her hair covers the upper half of her face, but the tracks of her tears flow down the left side of her cheek and to her chin, threatening to drip onto her bodice. Ruby’s face, on the other hand, is a blank stone wall, her stubborn attempts at stoicism betrayed by the obvious cracks in its surface. No matter how hard she tries to hide it from them it’s clear her form is quivering, as if she’s one stray thought away from falling completely apart.

But despite the unfortunate nature of their appearance, Steven can’t deny he’s glad to see them. (He so rarely does, outside of emergencies.)

“Um… h-hi, Ruby, Sapphire,” he stutters with his best attempt at a smile. “Long time no see?”

“Hello, Steven,” the blue Gem responds in amicable but still relatively formless monotone, clasping her gemless hand over the other. She sniffs, wiping those stray lines of hard-light based fluid away from her eye and nose before allowing her expression to crystallize again. Gathering herself, she turns to face the group. “Now, if all of you will excuse me, I need some time to think. Alone, for once.”

With not another word— not even an attempt at greeting the others or consoling Ruby, who looks ready to cry at a moment’s notice— Sapphire turns on a dime and glides across the warp pad to the temple door. She holds her right palm to the pigmented crystals embedded in the stonework, the blue one glowing bright in response. The seldom used entrance unlocks with a sonorous click. They all watch in stunned silence as she disappears through the opening, whisked away into the vast depths of the Crystal Temple. 

The group stands ramrod straight, no one budging an inch as they all stare at the doorway with altogether vacant expressions. Ruby folds her fingers together tight, pressing them to her chest. 

Pearl, thankfully, is the first to break the spell of silence.

“Oh Ruby, I’m so sorry,” she whispers, balling her hand against her mouth.

“D’ya wanna go punch some stuff in the Kindergarten with me?” Amethyst offers.

Steven weakly raises a finger in suggestion. “Or we could play some video games here. I finally found that limited release console version of Fight Fighters a few days back, if that’s up your alley.”

“And I could always take you for a quiet drive up the coast,” Greg says. 

She shakes her head, shrugging away all their attempts at comfort. “I- I don’t really wanna talk to any of you right now, to be honest. S’ not your fault, but—”

Ruby pauses, her small frame nearly quivering like a leaf as she averts her gaze, staring into the middle distance with glassy eyes.

“I think… for now, I jus- I just need to run away,” she croaks.

Not even bothering to hold back her sobs anymore, she barrels across the room in a flurry of anguish and climbs the steps to the warp pad. Everything happens so fast that no one can react quick enough to stop her before she activates it, a burst of cyan light springing forth to whisk her away into the stream. In seconds, she’s gone.

Steven gives a sad sigh, feeling for all the world as if some antagonistic force of the universe just stole a decent chunk of his heart away.

“Well, now what?” Amethyst says with a big shrug. 

Pearl crosses her arms, her lips curving into a subtle sneer at the glibness of her attitude. “What do you mean, ‘now what?’ We’re going to go round them up, sit them both down, have a calm, rational discussion, and fix this!”

“But you can’t just— ughhh,” she groans, throwing her head back. “They’re not inanimate objects for you to sort into piles, P! You can’t expect to throw them together and like, make them fuse again! That’s not how it works!”

“Now, that’s not what I meant, I—”

“Bull! It’s exactly what you meant!”

She haughtily turns up her nose, aghast. “I don’t appreciate the accusatory tone you’ve taken with me!” 

“And there you go, gettin’ all defensive,” she says, throwing her arms up. Her form glows white as she effortlessly shapeshifts into a picture perfect purple doppleganger of her. “Blah, blah, blah blah blah,” she spits in the most exaggerated voice she can muster, twirling the bottom ribbon of her sash on her finger. “I’m Pearl, and I‘m better than everyone else ‘coz I’m always right!”

“Amethyst! That’s enough!”

He pales as he watches the two of them outright self destruct, practically clawing at each other’s throats. Stars, it’s such a disappointing step back. He hasn’t seen them have a spat this bad for almost a year. His feet shuffle awkwardly beneath him, bare toes twitching against the wooden boards as his mind yearns for some brilliant, Steven-y idea that could stop this fight in its tracks, but at the current moment he’s got nothing.

“Daaaad,” he whispers, obscuring his mouth from their view with a cupped hand. “Help me out here?”

His father grits his teeth, and takes a cautious step towards the two Gems. “H-hey, you two, how about we all take a deep breath a—”

“Shut up, Greg!” they shout in unison, whirling on him. 

He throws his palms up, immediately backing away from their vitriolic spat.

“As I was trying to say, you’re completely taking my words out of context,” Pearl hisses, advancing on her. 

“No, I’m not!” she hollers, her voice echoing into the very rafters of the beach house. She jabs her finger under the other Gem’s nose, the action violent enough in its intensity that Steven can’t help but flinch at the sight. “You still wanna think you can wave your little hand and have everything go back to the way it was, poof, like magic! But guess what?! You can’t!! Garnet’s gone, we have no real leader anymore, Ruby disappeared to shard knows where, you can barely explain a single thing without locking up, basically everything we ever knew about Rose was a complete lie, a-and, and—”

“And now it’s Steven’s turn to leave,” he declares abruptly, his throat thick with tense knots of unshed emotion.

This statement is somehow enough to snap Pearl out of the brunt of her emotional tizzy, his guardian whirling to face him with an embarrassed flush blooming blue across her cheeks. “Oh, Steven, I—”

Spinning on his heels, he scrambles away from the others as fast as he can, heart racing, only pausing to retrieve his phone from where it’s been charging and to slip on sandals. He lets the door slam behind him as he races out into the arms of Beach City’s breezy, overcast morning. His flip flops clap rhythmically against his heels. 

“Wait! Steven!” he hears his dad call after him, but it’s already too late. He’s not going back in. Not now, not with everyone being so sullen and argumentative and weird. 

He just… he thought they could move on, y’know? He thought all this repressed pain and feelings of betrayal could heal and they could all grow closer for it, but apparently he’s wrong. Nothing about this messed up situation is ever going to get better. There was no way of predicting it at the time, but when the sharpened point of Bismuth’s weapon grazed his gem, it cracked the very foundation of his family forever… didn’t it?

He doubles over as he reaches the mailbox, his sprint slowing to an abrupt halt. His teeth clench, his fingers sinking into the fabric of his jeans like rose barbs through delicate skin as he catches his breath. Huffing for breath, he digs into his pocket for his phone. Good gravy, does he need a distraction right now.

“Hoh geeze,” he mutters, holding down the power button to force restart. “This is such a mess.”

After an unknown span of seconds that almost feels like half of an eternity to him, the screen lights up. 

And just as he feared, he’s met with a hefty cluster of missed calls and texts from Connie. Sweat beads on his brow as he begins to scroll through all the messages, even though he knew darn well this was coming:

Connie: Um?? How was any of that supposed to not make me worry?

Connie: Are you okay? 

Connie: Steven? ???

Missed call- Connie Maheswaran, 7:02 am.

Missed call- Connie Maheswaran, 7:04 am.

Connie: Pls call me when you can

Missed call- Connie Maheswaran, 7:51 am.

Missed call- Connie Maheswaran, 8:47 am.

Connie: Seriously I’m kinda freaking out rn what’s going on over there, I’d come over as backup if I could but I’m packing for the India trip and mom won’t let me leave 

He purses his lips, silently smacking himself for sending that stupid, stupid text early this morning in the first place. What on Earth was organic him thinking? Ugh, now that he’s alone he should probably clear this up.

Steven swipes to unlock his phone, navigates to Connie’s contact, and presses the video chat button. Forget calls. This is definitely a scenario in need of face-to-face communication. If they can’t be in the same place at the same time, then a video chat is the second best thing.

He plops himself down in the sand and patiently waits through the first and second dial.

Chapter Text

On literally any other day, folding laundry would be relaxing. 

There’s just something comforting to her about falling back into predictable rhythms, hands running on automatic through assorted piles of clothes as her thoughts take a wandering vacation through the infinite horizons of imagination. Chores are boring, sure, but compared to the non-stop drive of the rest of her life Connie can at least appreciate how mindless they are. In a world filled with such taxing things like honors algebra and violin recitals and sword training, letting herself dive straight into the arms of subconscious repetition every once in a while feels nice, like a much needed mental break from the rest of reality. 

The only problem is exactly that: it’s mindless. It doesn’t force her to use an ounce of brainpower. It doesn’t block her overactive imagination from waltzing down dark alleyways, or taking sharp swerves into territory unknown. It doesn’t distract her from obsessively checking her phone every other minute to see if she’s gotten any new calls or texts. 

It doesn’t stop her from worrying about Steven.

Normally steady fingers twitch with overwhelming anxiety as she folds a sock inside its proper pair and tosses it into her suitcase. She swears the phone in her pocket burns hotter the longer she ignores it… its intensifying sting chanting her name, drawing her in…

Groaning, she pulls it out and turns it on. The lock screen illuminates, showcasing a photo of a pretty sunset she took from the hill above the temple. Her jaw tightens. Once again, nothing. Giving in to the full temptation anyways, she unlocks her phone and taps to reach his latest message. Tired eyes gloss over his photo and those words for the thousandth time.

Accidentally got separated from gem—

I’ll call later, some kinda scary stuff happened—

Please don’t worry too much.

Well, it’s far too late for that. She’s not fooled by his blasé, chipper attitude in this text, or the forced grin of the concerningly pale-faced Steven (one of two! How can he claim he’s fine when he’s literally falling apart??) at the forefront of the photo they sent. No, no. She won’t be fully convinced until she can throw her arms around him in person, which is harder said than done when he hasn’t returned her calls and Mom won’t let her take the bus over to his place for the morning because she’s supposed to be “packing.” Ugh. As far as she’s concerned, visiting extended family on the Indian Islands for her first cousin’s wedding can wait its turn. Something terribly wrong must have happened in Beach City last night, and the suspense of not knowing what is suffocating her.

But logically, she knows worrying about it nonstop won’t be of help to her or Steven. He’ll call when he calls. She just hopes it’s before she leaves the country. Her dad's a bit of a tightwad, to her chagrin, and so she’s too anxious of him responding ‘no’ to beg him to upgrade her phone plan to international. If she’s honest, it’s the one part of this trip she dreads— having zero contact with her danger magnet of a best friend for a whole week. 

Connie gives a sharp breath in and out, attempting to forcefully will the stress to dissipate. Come on. Let it go. Stop thinking about it. And with that, she tosses her phone on her bedspread where she can’t reach it, and pushes herself back into the dependable rhythm of laundry folding.

Licking her chapped lips as she works through a pile of newly cleaned clothes, she folds the turquoise silk choli bodice a relative hand wove for her on her last birthday and carefully places it with its matching saree. The decorative border running the length of the saree is embroidered with little flowers and swirls in gold thread. Connie smiles faintly, reverently running her hand across the smooth fabric. She’ll be wearing her typical shorts, overalls, and blouses for most of this trip, but she’s super excited to have the perfect excuse to bring this outfit out of her closet for once. It always makes her feel beautiful, with her hair pinned back and the saree flowing around her like a petal in the wind, but she still can’t help but fear she’s ridiculously overdressed whenever she wears it anywhere outside of formal family events. A shame. Maybe she’ll build the courage to wear it one day when she goes to Steven’s house for sword practice. She’ll change into her usual training clothes during the practice itself, of course— she can’t risk tearing silk or restricting her movement— but it’d be cool to share a piece of her own family’s culture with him like that. Her cheeks heat up as she imagines his reaction. He’ll probably think it’s pretty. Pearl, too. Her mentor definitely has a flair for artistry, after all. 

...but of course, that’s assuming Steven and the Gems are okay. 

Her previously giddy thoughts wane like a withering bloom. Sitting with her legs criss crossed on her bedroom floor, she hunches over with a heavy sigh, propping her chin into her hands. Just how long is this morning going to last? 

Muffled amidst the cocoon of thick blankets adorning her bed, her phone’s ringer picks that very moment to blare into existence. Her nerves electrify in an instant, though whether that’s more a symptom of surprise or anticipation is anyone’s guess. Chest pounding, she shoots to her feet and scrambles across the room to pick it up. She sighs a breath of relief as her eyes skim over the caller ID. Oh thank goodness, it’s him. And he wants to video chat! Without thinking twice she jabs her thumb against the screen to answer.

A handful of seconds pass as her phone attempts to connect over her family’s spotty wi-fi, her heart twisting in her throat as she steels herself for whatever potentially bad update about her friend’s life she’s about to receive, but then—

The video pushes through, and her friend appears on the screen. His hair is notably mussed (more so than usual, that is), with all the wild curly locks sticking up from his head at weird angles suggesting he hasn’t bothered to comb it yet today.

“Mornin’, Connie,” he says, exhaustion evident on his face but besides that, appearing physically well. There’s actually color in his cheeks for one thing, as opposed to his almost deathly pallor in the photo he sent before dawn.

“Steven!” she exclaims, gripping the sides of her phone tighter in the absence of an actual hug. “You’re okay!”

“More or less,” he says in confirmation, the corner of his mouth turning up for a glimmer of a second. His expression quickly becomes tinted in shades of remorse, however, his voice on the brink of cracking. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t call back earlier! My phone died on me, and then I forgot to plug it in, and then I got distracted by a bunch of crazy family stuff, and that’s probably not a really good excuse, but—”

She tries to feed him a reassuring smile, pushing down the blatant depth of her worry for his sake.

“Hey, don’t fuss about it. It happens. And anyways, you’re here now, right? So all that doesn’t even matter anymore.”

Her friend deals her a noncommittal shrug in response, and slouches against the rough hewn stone she’s only now noticing in the background. If she has to guess, he’s sitting on the beach, leaning against the sheer cliff walls where they first met almost two years earlier. Interesting, she muses, her brow furrowing. Usually when they do video calls Steven makes a point to stay in his house because he gets better reception there. On top of that, there’s an undeniable melancholy brewing within his eyes that she’d be amiss to ignore. He’s not even trying to mask it for once, which speaks volumes in and of itself about how heavy a burden it’s become, whatever it is that’s bothering him. Geeze, what on Earth happened over there last night?

“So, your gem,” she starts, edging towards the topic with as much delicate tact as she can muster. “Are you still—?”

He shakes his head, already catching on to what she’s gonna ask. “Nah, I’m in one piece again. My organic self didn’t think he could fuse with my gem self at first, but it all worked out.”

“Hmm, I…” Connie pauses, mind fixating for a second on the very specific language he used— ascribing an undeniable sense of individuality to those disparate parts of himself— when speaking on the topic of being split. “Well, I’m super glad it all worked out. But I still don’t understand, how can you get separated from your gem in the first place? Weren’t you born with it?”

“It’s, uh- a pretty complicated story, fair warning.”

“Pshhh, that’s no problem, I’ve got all morning,” she says, and props her phone against her bedpost so she can continue her folding while listening. Freed once more, her hands seek out more unpaired socks to join. “Tell me everything. From the beginning. I still gotta pack, but I’m listening, I promise.”

A soft smile brightens his face, sunlight glinting off his dark brown irises. It’s enough to capture her full, unhindered attention, to make everything else in the world freeze to a halt. Just one magic moment… alone together with him. Her heart almost flip flops at the gentle way he gazes at her, his eyes filled with a shy reverence that honestly, speaks volumes to his nature as a person. Because while he’s grown undeniably strong as a Gem, he’s far more than that. He's kind. He’s sensitive, and caring. So, so caring. More than anything else he tries his hardest to be extra empathetic about the needs of others around him, and she adores this about him, she truly does. Her only wish is that he could be this receptive about his own needs, too. With her firsthand knowledge of the stressful stuff he and the other Gems deal with on a weekly basis, she can’t help but worry for him sometimes.

He breathes in, chest rising and falling as he prepares to tell her his story. “Okay. So it all started yesterday morning when I was playing video games with the Gems…”

“—and then that’s when my organic half figured out he could still fuse, right after he texted you. So they did, and- and well, that’s pretty much it,” Steven finishes some unknown allotment of time later with a bit of a waver in his voice, absentmindedly twirling his finger around a short curl at the nape of his neck as he adjusts his grip on the phone with his other hand. 

With his story more or less complete, barring a few recent occurrences he’s hesitant to bring up right now, he pays careful attention to the minute fluctuations of Connie’s expression as everything he’s told her sinks in. 

(He intentionally left out some of the more intimate bits, of course— like softly crying himself to sleep before Dad warped back, or having a bit of a breakdown on the beach, or the finer details of his components’ conversation. Some moments simply aren’t for others to know. And after everything that happened with Garnet, he doesn’t tell her about the flipped gem, either.)

Her voice wavers as she finally makes to respond. “Wow, that’s… a lot.”

“Yeah. And like, I wanna believe it’s over now, but everyone’s still acting so weird.”

“Mmm, and then there’s everything about your mom, and Pink Diamond…” She balls her hand against her mouth as she mulls over this information, her sobered glance shifting from him to some unspecified point in her bedroom. 

And at seeing the subtle aversion of her gaze, he frets for a second. He squirms upon the cold metal chair he’s made his temporary home with, toes curling inwards much like the creeping dread that’s vying to inch its way ever further into his heart, stifling any last hope of peace or calm. Replacing it with fear instead. Like, what if his real talk is too real? Too honest? What if he’s freaked her out, or overloaded her with the sheer weight of everything that’s happened to him, what if she’ll wanna keep her distance from his whole crazy world because of all this, what if—

“I’m so sorry you have to deal with all this,” she says softly, slashing through that singular cord of anxiety that’s restraining him within his frantic thoughts. 

His shoulders relax, some of the tension fading.

“I- is there anything I can do?” his friend continues. “To help, I mean?”

“Nah, don’t think so. Not right now, at least. Honestly, just having someone to talk to about all this means a lot.” He begins to slowly swing his legs back and forth, leaning against the coffee stained table top. “Normally I’d talk to one of the Gems, but. Well, y’know.”

His friend bobs her head in the affirmative. “Mmm.”

“It’s just…” he begins, pausing with a long sigh as he tries to organize all his jumbled emotions into something remotely explainable. His eyes drift away from his phone, focusing instead on the soft, tantalizing glow of the ice cream freezer across the shop. “I think I almost died, Connie. For real. I was shivering, a-and scared, and cracked, and- and yet they couldn’t stop fighting about whatever happened in the past. I don’t know anything about Pink Diamond, or what terrible things Rose apparently did, but now it’s like… even if they don’t mean to, that’s all they can think about when they look at me?”

Steven groans in exhaustion, slumping forward so the side of his face is pressed against the table. It’s comfy, never mind how dirty the surface probably is. He shifts his phone in his hands so Connie’s image is still parallel to him. “I dunno. I should’ve never popped that bubble in the first place. If I didn’t let Bismuth out, none of this would’ve ever happened.”

“Steven!” a loud voice calls from across the shop. “Are you gonna buy a donut or what?”

“Whu- huh??”

Startled, he shoots upright in his seat— knowing all too well from the faint thrum dancing under his skin that he’s right on the brink of summoning his bubble on sheer impulse— before realizing that no, no, it’s only Lars, everything’s fine, I’m fine. 

We’re fine.

The surly teenager is slumped against the counter next to Sadie (who’s counting the money in the cash register on sheer compulsion, as if rifling through it one more time might cause the cash to magically multiply), both employees marinating in the boredom of yet another low traffic mid-September day at the Big Donut. He pauses to catch his breath, in retrospect feeling super silly for his near freak-out. His two favorite donut people have been here this whole time, of course. How he managed to become so sucked in by his call that he almost forgot they existed is beyond him.

“Are you okay?” he hears Connie ask softly, obvious concern in her voice.

Lars on the other hand, apparently wasn’t finished calling him out.

“You can’t just- loiter here all morning and not buy anything!” he says. Brow threading together in perplexion, he whirls towards his coworker. “Right? Isn’t there a law for that? Sadie, help me out here-!”

She rolls her eyes so far they almost disappear back into her skull. “Oh, leave him alone, he’s fine…”

“Yeah, I’m not loitering, I’m having a nice conversation with my friend!” he chimes, holding up his phone screen to them as proof.

“Hi Sadie, Lars,” Connie says.

The friendlier of the teens behind the register smiles warmly despite the bags under her eyes, and pauses her task to wave to the camera.

Unimpressed, Lars leans his chin against his balled up fist, elbow propped on the counter. His tired eyes narrow into thin slits, exaggerated by the squish of his cheek against his bottom eyelid. “A ‘nice conversation?’ You’ve been sitting there for half an hour rambling about the misfortunes of near death,” he says, deadpan.

“I—” His eyes grow wide as he combs back through the— now that he thinks about it— admittedly dour mood of everything he’s recently said. “Is that really what it sounded like…?”

Is he just being a killjoy to everyone? He thought it’d be okay to be real about it with his friends, since he usually keeps his deeper issues to himself, but perhaps…

“No, just ignore him,” Sadie says as she diligently sorts the coins, cutting in right before his mind can continue its downward spiral. 

On the screen, Connie nods in wholehearted support. “It’s just venting, I don’t mind.”

And despite everything else he manages a smile at that, small and thin but filling him with a needed burst of energy all on its own.

“Huh,” Lars mutters, scrutinizing him closely. “Well, whatever it was, dark and brooding is a surprisingly good vibe for you. We’ll make a teenager of you yet.”

Steven blinks in confusion.

“But I already am a teenager,” he says, perhaps a bit more defensively than he ought have. 

“Yeah!” chimes his friend over the phone.

“Wait, really? Aren’t you like, nine or somethin’?”

He squirms in his seat upon reference to his current inability to physically age, feeling the flush touch his ears. “Uh, actually…”

“Dude, he’s been a teenager,” Sadie says. She stuffs the last of the quarters in their slot and slams the cash register drawer shut. “He turned fourteen a few weeks ago, don’t you remember?”

“N- no… I just—” Lars lets out a scoff, shooting her a moody sneer. “Whatever, okay? I don’t have the time or the patience to remember everyone’s birthdays in this dead-end town.”

“Only twenty-nine people even live here year round.”

“So? Your point is?”

“My point is that it’s kinda common courtesy to look up and pay attention to your surroundings every once in a while?”

He turns up his nose. “Ugh, well you know what—”

Steven purses his lips as he watches the two of them devolve into yet another round of petty squabbling. (Why all of these fights lately…? What’s wrong with everyone, what’s in the air?) Suddenly feeling a strong compulsion to high tail it out of here, he shifts in his seat. He and Connie share a knowing glance, one that quickly lets him knows they’re on the same page. Originally, he came here to use the store wi-fi since he doesn’t want to be at home right now, but he bets he can still use it just fine sitting at the table outside. Without wasting any breath in announcing his exit, he stands and makes his way to the door. Lars and Sadie are far too caught up in their spat to even notice him leave.

Only when he’s greeted by the cool breeze outside can he truly relax. He kicks back in one of the chairs set out in front of the store, adjusting his phone in his hand. Gulls call from the boardwalk in their endless and fierce search for trashed food. A handful of people he doesn’t recognize— tourists!— splash in the water or frolic across the sands, a pair of young men holding hands as they cross the public beach. Sunlight is finally breaking through the cloud cover, brilliant blue overtaking dreary grey. He smiles faintly. Despite every dour circumstance tilting his life askew right now, it truly is a beautiful morning. 

“Anyways, sorry about all that!” he says to his friend on the line, glancing back at the doors of the Big Donut. “They really are cool people when you got to know ‘em, but they kinda disagree about stuff a lot.” 

Connie stifles a laugh, her expression unreadable for a moment. “I know you keep saying they’re probably dating, but I honestly don’t believe you.”

His skin grows clammy all of a sudden at the unintended punch of those innocent words.

Don’t… believe you…

Caught within the swirling haze of subconscious memory, a single heartbeat swells into a lifetime.

He's frozen. Anchored in place, unable to budge even a muscle. It’s almost like he’s with Sapphire, trapped again in that old motel room shivering amidst her frost powers. And yet simultaneously he’s not, cause… because he’s burning up, hand clutching at thin air. He’s terrified. He’s completely and utterly alone, he’s—

He’s back in the forge. 

Bismuth’s there, looming like a reaper above him, her arm shapeshifted into some sort of curved saw blade and held at the ready. Thick, viscous lava boils with an almost primal anger in the pool surrounding the platform he’s on, and more than anything this environmental danger’s a warning, an ever-present warning of how far beyond his skills and authority this whole confrontation was and is, and he’s stupid, he’s so unobservant and stupid, he should have paid heed to it when he came down here in the first place, he should’ve pulled back to the house, should’ve called for one of the Gems, why didn’t he—

Heat blasts into his face with almost violent intensity as he scuttles away on hands and feet, scooting backwards across the blistering stone. He heaves for breath amidst the overwhelming tides of his panic. The channels of hard-light running parallel with his veins outright buzz alongside the rush of adrenaline keeping him alive. Sweat beads on his forehead, sticky and unnaturally cool.

(Steven? someone calls out to him from far away.)

Yet no matter how hard he tries to defend himself, he’s too weak against her. His shield isn’t strong enough. He’s not strong enough.

He knows this for a fact now, knows that Bismuth can dissipate both it and his bubble with enough concentrated force. It’s a super scary thought, but it doesn’t stop that stubborn, primal instinct pulsing insistently at the back of his mind, pushing him to stand back up, to summon his weapon anyways.

His first weapon. His most important weapon.

The power of honest communication.

“Wait, I’m not my mom!” he cries in desperation, shielding himself with his arms. “I don’t know what she did, but I’m sure she didn’t want to hurt you!”

The stark shadow obscuring the rainbow haired Gem’s eyes grows darker, swallowing the vast sum of his remaining hope.

“It’s too late,” she spits, preparing to swing her arm down. “I don’t believe you anymore!”

“Steven…?”

He gives a shallow gasp, his phone clutched in a vice-like grip as he takes inventory of his surroundings once more. Breath passes through his lips shakily. Oh, yeah. H-he’s… he’s sitting at a dingy plastic table right outside the Big Donut. The sky is bright and blue now. There’s a faint breeze in the air. He’s not—

Steven pushes himself to shake the fuzzy afterimage of Bismuth’s forge out of his mind, trying his best to re-engage with the present.

“—all right? You’re looking kinda pale,” Connie says, her brow creasing with obvious concern. He realizes with a rush of embarrassment that he must’ve missed the whole first half of whatever she said.

“No, no,” he shakes his head, cheeks reddening, “I’m— it’s fine, okay?”

The furthest edge of her mouth curves into a frown. “It wasn’t something I said, was it?”

“No!” he blurts out with a bit more force than he intends. “You didn’t say anything wrong, I promise, I just—”

His conversation with Pearl earlier this morning flashes across his consciousness all of a sudden, shutting him up. 

He raised his voice at her, too… and it really hurt her feelings. Stars, what’s wrong with him lately? Why does he keep getting so testy when people ask after his wellbeing? His free hand folds into a loose fist, which he fidgets open and closed to the tempo of the approaching tides, a comforting and almost meditative lull.

“I’m sorry,” he says in time, feeling himself deflate right alongside his lungs as he sighs. “I guess I just feel… really on edge right now.” Jittery fingers card through thick curls as his chest softly rumbles in the absurdity of it all. “Geeze, I’m being a real sad sack today, huh?”

“Well, you’ve been through a lot.”

“Yeah, but near death scenarios are pretty much just an occupational hazard at this point. And I’ve handled that fine before, so…”

“Still doesn’t erase how hard it’s impacted you this time,” she says, her tone practically overflowing with compassion, and levels her gaze square on him. 

(And he swears those intuitive brown eyes knock straight through his facade like it’s fashioned from nothing but cardboard and styrofoam, soaking up all his scattered insecurities and fears in their sight and assembling them back together like a puzzle.)

He flushes even further, shrinking where he sits. Intuitively he knows she’s right, knows that yesterday’s events have screwed with him more than the danger of Gem stuff normally does, but he still can’t help but feel… ashamed? That he’s feeling this way in the first place? It’s bizarre. It’s completely dumb, and the more he fixates on it the more dumb in concept it becomes. But in all truth, he’s sick of discussing what happened with Bismuth. About how he was almost shattered, split in two. He’s sure by now Connie feels the same.

There’s a far more pressing headline she deserves to hear about, anyways.

“So there’s also another not-great thing that happened,” he begins, swerving the topic. “Should probably mention.”

“Yeah…?”

“Garnet unfused over all this. Maybe for good this time.”

She gasps, her face shooting closer on his screen.

“Wait, what? She- you mean that Ruby and Sapphire aren’t—”

“Yup.”

Connie covers her mouth in shock, eyes glistening. “Oh, no! Steven, I’m so sorry! And you don’t think they’ll be able to work it out?”

“No, they made it seem pretty permanent.”

“That must be so hard for all of you,” she sighs in solidarity. “I mean, at least since it’s fusion you know she’s still there in spirit, but- you grew up knowing Garnet.”

“Exactly,” he nods. “I love Ruby and Sapphire a whole bunch, but it’s different, y’know? Because I still lost someone important to me. Maybe forever. And… it feels so awful,” he says, pushing past the lump in his throat that he wishes more than anything would go away. “All of it. It’s like everyone in my family’s falling apart. The moment Garnet unfused, Sapphire immediately shut herself in her room, and then Ruby was so upset she ran away, and Amethyst and Pearl started yelling at each other about everything, so… I left. And called you,” he explains, gesturing at her. “And now I’m here, chillin’ at the Big Donut. And that’s pretty much it.”

“Gosh…”

“Yeah.”

“Again, I’m sorry you had to deal with all this. I mean, outright getting cleaved in two? I can’t even imagine…” She bites at her knuckles for a moment, deep in thought. “Makes me wish I had more than just sympathy to offer.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it! You’re helping plenty already by listening. I really appreciate that,” he says. “I—” his voice wavers a bit as he boils under the heat of the blush blossoming across his cheeks— “I really appreciate you. A lot. You- you know that, don't you?”

She giggles, the sound a beautiful reassurance to his ears. “Of course I do! And anyways, you always take time to listen to me when I’m down. That’s what jam buds are for, right?”

“Right,” he says, the word reverberating in harmony at the deepest reaches of his heart.

“Steven!” a voice calls from the distance. 

Connie’s brow furrows. “Is that…?”

He whips his head around, squinting against the sunlight to catch a clearer glimpse of the figure running towards the edge of the Big Donut’s patio— long hair rippling behind him. At the sight of family his eyes light up like starshine. He waves his free arm in greeting.

“Dad!”

“Hey, kiddo!” his dad says, crossing the last few steps towards the shop’s patio furniture. Gasping for breath, he plops himself in the chair adjacent. “I thought I’d find you here. You doin’ better now?”

He makes a half grimace, shaking his flattened hand in a so-so gesture.

Dad’s hopeful smile fades. What replaces it is an expression that’s hard for him to fully quantify, his irises twinkling with a sense of quiet understanding that he bets only years of hard earned age and experience could foster. “Yeah. Yeah, I getcha. Seeing people you love fight like that’s never fun. Do you wanna talk about it?”

He presses his mouth into a line as he contemplates. To be honest, after venting his feelings about yesterday to Connie, fixating on these negative emotions even more is the last thing he wants to do.

“Not really, I’m kinda on a call right now” he deflects, showing him his phone screen as proof. 

“Oh, by golly, so you are! Hey, Connie. How are you hangin’ in there?”

She flashes a smile. “Hi, Mr. Universe! I’m okay, thanks.”

“Heh, Mr. Universe, huh?” he chuckles softly, scratching at his beard. “Such formalities! You’ve known me for what, how long? Please, just call me Greg.”

“Thanks, but my mom says I’m not allowed to call grown-ups by their first names.”

“Dr. Maheswaran has all sorts of weird mom rules,” Steven chimes in, nodding.

“Hoo boy, do I know about those,” his dad commiserates in a flat tone. He makes a big show out of mulling this over, humming as he taps at his chin. “Well then, don’t think of me as a grown-up, but more of a big kid with, erm… slightly bigger responsibilities.”

“Uh, okay!” Connie says, hesitantly glancing between him and Steven. “If it’s alright with you, then, Mister Greg!”

Dad‘s mouth turns up in a fond smirk. Then, alongside a deep inhale, he glances back towards him. “Anyways, I came here to let you know that the Gems have cooled down. I had… a bit of a talk with them, let’s say,” he mutters, clear exhaustion betraying his otherwise content demeanor. “Should be fine to head back over when you’re ready.”

“Did Ruby return yet?”

“Nah, she’s still MIA. But Pearl and Amethyst are on the case.”

He sighs, brackish, dreary disappointment flooding his heart. Of course. Why would she be back this soon? He’s a fool if he hopes any of these big ‘p’ Problems will simply up and resolve themselves without an ounce of his effort spent. Though to be fair… he guesses there’s a distant chance she could return to them on her own decision. According to Garnet, Rubies are very social Gems, which means they prefer sharing in the company of others over being alone. And even when she’s not fused with Sapphire, she’s still an integral part of his family. He dearly hopes she knows that. 

“I hope her and Sapphire will be okay,” he mutters.

“I’m sure they’ll be fine in the end,” Dad says with a shrug. “It’s not like they haven’t come apart before.”

Connie hums in agreement. “Yeah, like sometimes even my parents need some quiet time away from each other. That’s totally normal in relationships.”

Dropping his legs to dangle from the chair again, Steven watches an orange spotted butterfly flutter between the beach umbrellas set up on the patio tables, meeting with its other half before both journey away in the wind. His cheeks lift at their gentle attempts at reassurance, and boy, does it feel so much more natural than his pensive grimaces.

“D’ya really think so?”

Smiling softly, his dad affectionately musses his hair. “All we can do is wait and see, bud. Wait and see.” He stands to his feet then, grunting as he uses the table’s surface as leverage to help push him up. Gaze growing somewhat weary, he peers with purpose towards the other side of town. “Anyways, your old man will be over at the car wash scrubbing soap scum off the floors. Eughh, right? But hey, if you need anything… a hug, an ear, some classic fatherly advice… come and find me, okay? Take it easy this morning.” Grinning, he turns back to wave goodbye to the girl mirrored on the screen. “Nice seeing ‘ya, Connie. Take care.”

“You too!” she waves in return. 

And with that farewell his dad begins his casual jaunt down the sidewalk, leaving the two of them alone once more. Except, he supposes that’s not true at all, is it? Even without Connie, even without Dad, or the Gems. Because if he can take away one good thing from this whole messed up experience, just one hopeful message, it’s that he’s never been alone a day of his life. That’s simply the nature of fusion, you see. Even in his darkest, scariest moments…

I’ve never actually been alone, he marvels. I’ve just been me.

Once Steven’s dad leaves to scrub down the floors at his car wash, their conversation evolves considerably from its bleak beginnings. 

“Anyways, enough about all this Gem stuff,” Steven says, “what’s new with you? Besides, uh- folding underwear, of course!”

Connie laughs, rolling her eyes at the visible blush on his face as she pushes the aforementioned undergarments out of frame. She leaps at sharing some of the finer details of her Indian Islands trip, telling him all about when she’s leaving for the airport, (late tomorrow evening, on a red-eye flight across the Atlantic), what area of the country she’s visiting, (the island of Punjab, where some of her extended family lives), and how long she’ll be gone (just a week, for a wedding and some sight-seeing!). From there, the topic shifts between a variety of themes, ranging anywhere from her anxiety and excitement at starting school again when she gets back, the pride of finally figuring out the proper bowing technique for a challenging song she’s wanted to perfect for a while on her violin, to this super compelling Spirit Morph Saga fanfic she found where Lisa discovers she’s secretly heir to the throne of the corrupt society she’s always been vying to escape from underneath the authoritative thumb of.

“Wow, this is the story I never knew I always needed so badly in my entire life,” Steven says, brown irises turning starry-eyed in the sunlight. He’s sitting atop the hill now, content to rest on his belly in the grass in front of the lighthouse. 

“I know, right? I’ll send you the link,” she promises, dangling her feet in the air behind her as she lays on the carpet, a whole video call away.

He pumps his fist in the air triumphantly. “Woo, free infinite books!”

“Well, keep in mind, it’s not finished yet. Apparently it’s supposed to update bi-weekly, but it’s been a while since a new chapter was posted. I think the author got a bit bogged down by life stuff recently.”

“Aw, that’s too bad. I hope they’re doin’ okay.”

“Same… But hey,” she says with a soft laugh, “at least it’s a long fic, right?”

“Y’know,” he interjects the current topic, rising to his knees. “I wonder if I can see your house from here! D’ya think that’s possible, ‘cause I wanna see if that’s possible!”

He switches his camera’s view from front to back, the image of his face replaced by the scenic vista of the cozy beach town nestled below, ridged by the peaceful waters of the Atlantic and Rehoboth Bay. She can see everything, from the gigantic pastry shaped facade atop the Big Donut, to the water tower clear on the other side of the peninsula. Beyond, lush green grasslands— dotted with clusters of small residences, humanity’s touch upon the Earth— stretch as far into the horizon as a young dreamer can imagine. 

Connie picks up her phone from the bedpost she leaned it against and squints at the screen, trying to map out the precise scale of the countryside between them in her mind. “Hmm, probably not. I think my town’s pretty hidden by the surrounding hills.”

“No silly, not from right here, here! I meant, from up here!”

She yelps as the view of Beach City on her phone screen jolts in a burst of sudden, rapid movement, shrinking smaller and smaller as the seconds tick by. 

“Steven! How are you—”

But with the quick application of basic logic, she finds the answer to this question before she can even finish asking it. Her new view of the town comes from an airborne advantage, so… so he must be using his floating ability right now. Even though she’s never seen him utilize it to leap to this extreme, it’s the only possibility that makes any ounce of sense. Her mouth falls agape at the picturesque view below, the town beginning to look more and more like a blurred watercolor painting. Distantly, she wonders what it would feel like to be up there with him, her hands clutched tight in his, the wind dancing through thick tresses of her long hair. 

“Consarn it! Your house is too small to pick out. Hmm…”

Or even as Stevonnie, can they float too? she wonders. Maybe one day she can ask if they can try!

“Oh my gosh, this feels just like I’m on the giant slingshot they used to have at Funland,” she says, averting her eyes as her best friend continues his ascent into the shimmering blue sky. She lets slip a slight grimace, finding the stark contrast between the movement on the screen and the still permanence of her bedroom dizzying the more she watches. “Though I’m starting to think there’s a reason they shut that ride down…”

“Hey, my floating powers are way better than The Comet,” he chirps with a playful lilt, having finally reached the apex of his leap. “Hah, maybe that means I should start my own attraction at Funland!”

“Doing what?” she says, unable to keep from laughing at the absurdity of the very concept. “Bubbling people on the tracks of the rollercoaster like the day we first met? I’m pretty confident that’d be a major health and safety violation.”

“Aww, but those are the best kinds of attractions!” 

She hears him grunt with minor exertion, and suddenly the aerial glimpse of the countryside she’s watching on her phone drops out of sight, replaced in an instant with a sweeping panorama of the boundless sky, the line of the horizon with the sea, the ground looming ominously hundreds of feet below, and then the countryside once again. Rinse and repeat, over and over. Everything is spinning and there’s no end in sight. 

“Whoa-oH, it’s the Stevencoaster!” he cries in childish glee as he somersaults.

His lighthearted joy is so contagious she can’t stop the grin stretching wide across her face.

“Careful, you doofus, you’re gonna make me motion sick and I’m not even there,” she giggles.

“Nooo! And the Stevencoaster makes everyone toss their cookies!”

She rolls her eyes in fondness at his antics, and sits up on her carpet. “No, but seriously,” she reaffirms, “that’s making me pretty dizzy.”

“Oh, sorry!”

Soon enough she watches him level out from his spin, his camera focusing for a moment on the ground a hundred feet below his sandaled feet before flipping to show his face once more, framed by wild dark curls. His irises are shimmering an unnatural pink she’s never seen before. It's enough of an unexpected shock that her smile fades, ever so slight. 

“Better?” he says, beaming at her as he continues on his slow descent to Earth.

Those eyes… they’re still pink. And his pupils… She’s not just imagining it, right? She blinks heavily. 

“Y- yes, much.”

“Connie? What’s wrong?” he asks, landing upon the grass. His brow creases. 

Now that he’s not floating anymore, his eyes are just as normal and brown as they ever were. Connie balls her hand against her chin as she deliberates what any of this could mean. Hmm. Curiouser and curiouser. 

She shakes her head, silently mulling over how best to explain this. “Nothing, it’s just… I could’ve sworn your eyes were… different, for a second.”

“Different?” Steven‘s grin stretches so wide he looks like he’s about to burst with laughter at any moment. “Eye don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Well, if you became my pupil I could explain it to you,” she giggles.

“I’m listening,” he chimes.

“Okay, so honestly it could’ve just been a trick of the light, but… I swear your eyes flashed pink for a second. And your pupils were glowing, and all funny. Kind of, uh- slitted! Like a cat’s.”

“Pink?”

“Yeah.”

His face grows shockingly pale. “Connie, when was this?”

“Just a moment ago,” she shrugs. “You were still floating.”

“Floating,” he repeats under his breath, seeming haunted by the very thought.

“Steven?” she calls, a sudden twist in her chest at the sight of his clear distress. “Steven, what’s wrong?”

“I, I—” he stammers, unable to even meet her glance. “I’m really sorry, but I gotta go. I’ll text you later?”

“Uh- okay. Thanks for calling—”

He hangs up. 

“…back,” she finishes, shoulders sinking.

She sighs, lowering her phone into her lap and sitting back against her bed frame. What did she say wrong? What could be so scary about the idea of glowing pink eyes to make him react like that? Sure, it’s a bit strange, but it’s no more unusual than any of his other unique abilities. She just hopes she didn’t ruin his good mood all over again by bringing his attention to it.

Her mother knocks on the doorframe outside, signaling her presence.

“Come in,” she mutters in a glum tone.

The door creaks open. Mom steps through, and leans against the wall with her arms crossed, glancing between her and the phone still clutched like a lifeline in her hands with a knowing expression.

“Are you still worried about that boy?” she asks. 

Connie can almost hear the capitalization inherent in her tone. 'That Boy.’ Even though she and Steven are just friends, she knows full well who her mother thinks he is to her. (Not that she’d complain if that were the case, but that’s simply not a thing he’s ever asked for, and really that’s fine, she’s fine, their status quo is comfortable as it is and she’d hate to bring yet another complication to his life by speaking up about her silly little feelings—)

“Yeah… I just got off the phone with him,” she says, letting her head sink into the folds of the covers trailing off the side of her bed. “It sounds like he’s been through a lot lately.”

“Well, when a child spends all day fighting all those Gem monsters instead of going to school like he’s supposed to, I can’t say I’m surprised,” her mom says under her breath.

“Mom, come on, this is serious!” 

“Yes, sorry, you’re right,” she says, pressing her hand to her temple. “It’s not fair of me to judge just because I don’t understand their… unique lifestyle.”

Connie turns away, hugging her knees to her chest. Some days, that invisible force holding their own separate worlds a universe apart feels too daunting and powerful for her to ever overcome on her own. Like a stalled storm on a late summer day that’s simply aching to let all of its stored up moisture cascade out, her mind brims with truths she wishes she could admit, that must be released if she wants to find any peace within herself. But how does she start? How can she make her own mother understand when she doesn’t yet fully understand her emotions herself?

“I’ve really been looking forward to this trip, y’know?” she blurts out, feeling oh-so vulnerable sitting on the floor with her eyes glistening with the threat of an impending breakdown just like she always would as a young child. “Really. It’s gonna be so nice to see Auntie Meera and all the cousins again. And I know we gotta leave tomorrow, but just knowing he’s hurting, an- and that I won’t even be able to text him at all? It makes part of me wish… that I could stay here.”

Unable to dam it up anymore, a few hot tears spill from the edge of her eyelids and roll unbridled down her cheek. Her chest quivers uncontrollably as her face screws up and she begins to cry.

“Oh, honey,” she breathes, moving to kneel on the floor next to her. She rests her hand upon her upper back, tracing soothing circles through the fabric of her shirt. 

“He's always been there for me when I needed someone to talk to, o-or somethin' to feel better,” she sniffles, wiping the damp from her eyes and nose. “A- and then- the moment he needs me, I can't be there for him at all, an' it's not fair!”

Upon noticing the trail of snot she too can feel beginning to drip towards her upper lip, her mother grimaces. She reaches across her for the small square box perched atop her nightstand. “Tissue,” she says firmly, passing her the whole box.  

She accepts her offering, pulling one out and blowing her nose as hard as she can muster.

As she's dabbing away, cleaning up the evidence of her tears, Mom's fingers shift to comb through the length of her hair. She twirls through long dark strands, pulling them out of her face. 

“Even though I may not understand all this magic stuff you both deal with,” she begins, voice brimming with compassion, “believe me, I understand more than most what it feels like to be cut off from the people you love. So… I’ll upgrade your phone plan to international, how’s that? That way, at the very least you’ll still be able to contact him on our trip.”

Her eyes light up. “Wow, really? But that’s super expensive!”

“Says your father,” she scoffs with soft laughter. “We can afford it.”

“That’ll be perfect!” she says, throwing her arms tight around her mother. And although she can’t see her face, Connie knows from the reassuring solidness of their embrace that every bit of the love she has for her is returned in full. “Thanks, Mom,” she whispers, her anxious heart finally finding a glimmer of peace. 

Chapter Text

Morning light filters through the loft’s window and glints off his phone screen, obscuring the selfie Connie just sent from his view. Though on some deep cognitive level Steven’s a bit annoyed at this interference, outwardly he moves on automatic with barely a feather ruffled, rolling onto his back atop the rumpled bedspread. He holds his phone above his face— right over his nose— humming as he admires the photo. She’s grinning, her long wavy hair pinned back with clips. Her eyes shimmer with every bit of joy a smile that wide suggests. True happiness. Before he knows it he feels his cheeks lift, a smile of his own stretching across his face to mirror hers. 

The rest of the photo is just as beautiful.

Beyond the railing his friend leans on is a breathtaking view of wild grasses, ferns, and delicate purple flowers, the patches of greenery half submerged in a lake of water as far as one can imagine. A large flock of birds float on the water’s surface some distance away. Behind her, the setting sun bathes the sky in streaks of orange and pink, the warmth of the ambient light kissing her brown skin. It looks like something straight out of a storybook.

Either that, or a dream. A good dream, the kind that lingers in your mind afterward like the sweet scent of wild strawberries.

oh, that’s so pretty!! he types in response, fingers flying over the keys. where is this?

Just as he hits send, though, another message from her pushes through and answers his question:

Connie: Morning!!! :DD Soooo rn we’re exploring this really cool wetlands area! Service is pretty terrible out here btw, so I probably can’t talk for a bit. Fingers crossed my texts send!

His heart grows warm as he reads her words. Even if it’s not as good as seeing her face to face, he’s still so happy they can communicate while she’s on her trip. She looks like she’s having so much fun. He wastes no time in sending a whole cluster of hearts, stars, and smiley faces back at her.

But as he watches his message deliver, the text’s bubble shifting from grey to blue, he finds that airy, bubbly feeling he got looking at Connie’s photo pulling away from him like sand and driftwood on the receding tides. No matter how many he sends her, all these emoticon smiles just ring hollow right now.

Four days have passed since the disaster everyone’s come to refer to in guarded whispers as ‘The Forge Incident.’ Not many, not enough for the terrifying memory of what happened down there amidst the blackened stone and molten fire to stop seeping into his dreams, but thankfully enough that the Gems have (mostly) stopped coddling and babying him about it. Their receding concern is a sweet relief, and one of the many reasons he’s not planning on telling any of them about his recent nightmares. Goodness knows they already have enough to worry about.

Four days, though.

That’s it. The thought of just how little time that is in the grand scheme of things leaves him dizzy. Four days since he was almost shattered by someone he wanted to be a friend. Four days since two halves fused back into a whole, since his gem rotated to expose the facets that before, his mo… that Rose had hidden away from her friends… from the whole galaxy. Four days since discovering that his pupils apparently morph into glowing pink rimmed diamonds now whenever he taps into his powers. (And wasn’t that just another wallop to the gut for everyone, Pearl especially). Four days without Garnet, without her stabilizing presence in their household, without their prior blissful protection from the truth: that Rose wasn’t truly the quartz she claimed she was.

Steven still doesn’t understand the how or the why of this. 

Truth be told, it’s not a topic he’s ready to dwell on yet.

He shifts to sit up on his bed. Somewhere on the distant shore beyond the window’s glass Amethyst shouts with rigorous gusto, her rhythmic, guttural battle cries loud enough that they’re audible from clear inside the house. He serves up a heavy, exasperated sigh. Sheesh, there’s no end to this on the radar, huh? For the past few days she’s done nothing but seclude herself away and drill without rest, pushing her hard-light body to the brink through endless strength and agility exercises. In the light of his family’s recent difficulties no one’s addressed it with her yet, but it’s no secret this obsession is partly related to her insecurities about Jasper.  

Meanwhile, Ruby (who finally returned home on her own yesterday morning, thank the stars) sits on the floor right below him, handling the controller of his Grintendo console with an iron grip that he’s sure would serve as a genuine contender in Beach City’s new underground arm wrestling league. He set her up on his brand new copy of Fight Fighters just an hour or so ago. As far as he knows, she’s enjoying it. It’s sorta hard to tell. She certainly hasn’t given up yet, (she’s way too stubborn for that), but it seems like the story mode levels are difficult enough that they’re giving her a run for her money. Glancing away from his phone, he watches her fuss with the first boss fight for a moment. The Gem’s face is— if it’s possible— even redder than usual as she mashes the proper buttons for her character’s combo attack, muttering in syllables spoken too low for him to intelligibly understand.

A few minutes pass. Ruby sneaks in one solid strike, but eventually the boss overtakes her by merit of their sheer size alone, and her character is defeated. Game Over flashes on the screen in bold orange striped letters.

“Aw, phooey! You were really close that time,” he says.

Truth be told, her playing style is kind of… well, a huge mess, but there’s no encouraging way to say that. Plus, it’s not like it’s a lie to say she got closer to beating this fight than the last time she attempted it. Maybe she’ll figure it out with a few more rounds.

Ruby drops the controller in her lap, and glances back at him. “Heh. Thanks, Steven,” she responds with a weak smile. “At least I finally got in a hit, right?”

“Yeah, you’re getting better every round! You still up for more? We can play on verses mode together, if you want.” 

“Eh, I’m done for today. I’m no good at these kinda games. At least, not without…”

A wave of melancholy envelops her in a flash, suffocating the last glints of light within her burgundy red irises. Inhaling deeply, she lifts her gemless hand before her, holding it to her chest tight as she mourns what used to be. Steven doesn’t move to say anything, letting her have her silent moment. Reassurance can be nice, but as he’s learned recently, the sad truth is that sometimes not every problem can be solved with a few well-thought words.

Amethyst’s distant battle cries interrupt the somber atmosphere like a jackhammer to concrete, yanking them both solidly back into reality. Ruby’s brow creases. 

“Man, is she still at it out there?” she says, frowning as she glances at the door. “She looked exhausted when she came outta her room this morning.”

Steven frowns, stuffing his phone in his pocket. “Yeah. I tried to ask if she wanted to play Topple Tower with me last night, but I’m pretty sure she was ignoring me. I just hope she’s okay…”

Sighing, she slumps back against the large swath of comforter that dangles halfway off his mattress, letting her compact, coily hair smush against its surface. “Oh, she’s not. No one in this blasted house is. I just wish Sapphire would come back already,” she says, voice cracking as she utters her name. “She’s been in there for so long now.”

Prompted by her heartbroken words, he glances at the temple door across the house, seeing both Pearl and Sapphire’s gems alight on the central star. Pearl is simply taking a rest in solitude this morning, but as for the blue Gem… she hasn’t shown her face since she disappeared into her room four days ago. Her lingering absence is starting to become mighty worrying to all of them. And besides, he really misses her. They barely get a chance to hang out beyond the rare emergency. His lip juts out in a small pout.

None of this is fair. It’s so, so hard to move on with life when you’re constantly being reminded of what once was.

Having already decided she’s had enough challenge for the morning, Ruby passes command of the controller to him. Figuring he’s got nothing better to do today, he shrugs and starts a new save file. Half an hour or so passes as he grinds through levels like a pro. Now sitting next to him, bundled like a burrito in one of his blankets, the red Gem watches his gameplay with starry eyes, enraptured. He double jabs at the D-pad to call upon a secret ability, fingers blazing across the buttons with practiced fluency. Just as he’s about to hit the finishing blow on Professor Doom, the beach house door slams open. On sheer impulse he flings the controller to free his hands, his whole body seizing upon the sound. Hard plastic clatters against the floor. The world tints pink.

Ruby jolts to attention from inside his bubble, struggling to unwind herself from the blanket's grasp. “Whoa, what’s—”

“Hey, nerds,” Amethyst mumbles, dragging herself and her uncoiled whip through the doorway. The length of the weapon drags along the floorboards like a dejected dog’s tail. Her tired, hardened pupils meet his no doubt diamond-shaped ones, shades of confusion flickering across her expression as she visibly takes note of the shimmering sphere he’s subconsciously enveloped himself in. “Geez, it’s just me.”

“I- I know,” he croaks, flushing red, “s-sorry, I know. You spooked me, ‘s all.”

She squints, and dissipates her whip. “Dude, I didn’t even do anything.”

“I know… It’s just me being dumb, sorry.” 

“You’re not dumb,” Ruby reminds him with a saddened frown, placing her gem adorned hand on his shoulder.

He doesn’t respond, instead taking a deep breath and willing the bubble to recede. Once it’s all but disappeared in a shimmering afterimage of hard-light, he crawls across the floorboards to retrieve his poor abused controller. Joystick securely within his grip once more, his eyes drift back to his game. Seems he’s in dire health. Not only did his character lose his perfect attack window, but Dr. Doom has healed himself and continued to rail upon him while he remained idle. His heart drops.

“Awww,” he whines, deflating. “I almost had ‘im!”

The temple door slides open, causing both Steven and Ruby to snap to awareness. (For wildly differing reasons of course, but the ending outcome is the same.) Amethyst stands beyond the warp pad, about to cross the threshold into solitude once more. 

Nooo, don’t leave! his heart cries in silence. You just came back!

This conversation is already the most interaction he’s gotten out of her since their waffle breakfast four days ago. Ever since, she’s hidden herself away to brood and train. He scowls, fingers shifting rhythmically on the casing of his game controller. Gosh, he’s so sick and tired of this. He’s tired of moping, of acting like they can never have a happy moment ever again just because their circumstances are different now. It’s not true. Things can get better! Heck, he’ll make it better! Somehow. Maybe. He just needs to figure out a plan, and soon… before everyone scatters to be on their own again. 

Hmm, think, Steven, think think think! What makes Amethyst happy? Destroying trash? She’s been at it all morning already, probably not. Food? Wouldn’t necessarily get her out of the temple.

He eyes a green sock puppet strewn on the floor by his closet. Months-old memories rush through his mind, of wearing a cardboard box on his head, insisting amidst his presentation partner’s intensifying protests that this puppet will be a perfect representation of the emerging Cluster.

…Peridot?

They did get along really well at Funland a few weeks back. Hmm. Y’know, this might actually work.

“Hey, Amethyst,” he calls, and sets the controller on his bedspread. She stops halfway through the doorway of her room, motionless, waiting for him to continue. It almost seems as if she wants him to give her a reason to stay outside. “You, uh- are you done training for today?”

“For now,” she answers in a low voice, clenching and unclenching her fists to the syncopated beat of her own inner drums. 

“D’ya maybe wanna go visit Lapis and Peridot with me? Get outta the house?”

She turns, lips pursed as she deliberates this proposal in depth. After what feels like— to his antsy, impatient soul— a whole eternity later, she responds with little more than a half-hearted shrug. 

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.”

Steven grins. He scrambles to his feet and floats off the edge of the loft to the ground floor before she can decide otherwise. “Sweet, let’s go right now!” he says, bursting with enthusiasm. After crossing the room in a flash, he takes ahold of Amethyst’s arm and gently leads her up the steps to the warp pad, the other Gem making no obvious signs of dissent. Good. That’s a good sign. The immediate problem sorted, he glances back from whence he came. “Ruby, you want in too?”

She’s still tangled within his bedding, but shifts upon mention.

“Nah, I’m good,” she says, rolling on her back under the covers so that she’s peering at them from upside down. “If Sapphire finally comes out of the temple, I wanna be here for that.”

Steven nods. “Okay! Well, see ya’! We’ll be back sometime later this afternoon.”

“Probably,” Amethyst mutters, crossing her arms.

“Yeah, maybe longer, maybe not. We’ll see! Feel free to play any of my games if you wanna, okay?”

“And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, ya’ party animal,” the quartz drones, the bite of dull sarcasm seeping into her words.

With a resounding ring the warp activates and whisks them away. 

The young half-Gem takes a deep lungful of air as he skips through the grassy countryside, his chest expanding to full capacity. Ah, it feels so good to be outside, and with a fresh change of scenery, at that! He should’ve done this ages ago.

Outside of all the heartache of their recent family crisis, it’s a perfect September day, not too warm and not too blustery. The sky’s almost entirely clear, barring the faint streaks of white softening the horizon's edges. Birds chirp brazenly as they swoop with daring purpose from tree to tree. A few leaves are just beginning to flutter downwards from their overstuffed boughs. ‘Tis the season! Pretty soon this area will be awash with sprinkles of vibrant oranges, reds, and yellows. Gee, he hopes he can convince Amethyst to goof off in the woods with him again this year. They could go leaf sledding! That was the most fun he’d had in ages when they did it last time.

But how is Amethyst doing, anyways? 

Masking his worried frown, he glances behind. Her lips press into a sour scowl, her non-dominant hand clenched at her side. Barely a heartbeat passes as she reaches to her gem with the other, pulling her whip into existence in a glittering flash of light. Instantaneously, the crystal tips of the three-pronged flail expand into barbed spheres. (The others may not have kept Bismuth’s weapon upgrades after her breach of faith, but she did.) She mutters to herself as she grips the handle, seemingly unsatisfied with her performance. He doesn’t understand why, though? She summoned it lightning fast! Like, under a second for sure. As far as he’s concerned, whips can’t be slashed any flashier than that!

He watches her summon, dissipate, and re-summon her whip three times in a row before he decides it's time to intervene with her spiraling frustration.

“Hey, don’t ya’ wanna take a break from all that for a bit?” he begins with a measure of caution. “You’ve been working super hard lately!”

“I already am taking a break," she says, slashing at a few rocks strewn on the ground as they climb the last rolling hill. “That’s why I’m here with you, right?”

“Well sure, but breaks aren't supposed to be about training, they’re supposed to be about having fun. And visiting Peridot and Lapis should be tons of fun, I promise!”

Amethyst’s eyes narrow at the very thought. “Yeah, ‘cause when I think fun, I think Lapis.”

“Hmm, I wonder what they’re up to lately,” he muses out loud, hand pressed to his chin.

She lets out a dry scoff, allowing her whip to dissipate once more. “Don’t know, don’t care. Let’s just get this over with.”

He frowns. His shoulders drooping a bit at the sight of her almost hostile melancholy, he glances away.

Thankfully, in a well-timed diversion from the worries of her mental state, Lapis and Peridot’s place of settlement comes into full view as they reach the hill’s summit. Steven’s jaw falls ajar, stopping in his tracks at the sight. (Amethyst, who isn’t paying attention to where she’s walking amidst her brooding, almost rams into the back of him.)

“Whoa,” he says, drinking in the new additions. “Look what they did to the barn!”

He’s not sure ‘barn’ is an apt description for it anymore. No, no. Rather, in the weeks since he last saw Lapis and Peridot, this place has transformed into a full-out homestead. 

The grain silo that stood nearby has been tilt at an angle and used to enclose the side of the barn Peridot blew a hole in with her epic giant robot. Their smaller than average lake? It’s now fitted with a ladder, along with metal piping to keep the water filled to capacity. Stretched taut between the roof of that silo and a funky hodgepodge spire they formed out of old airplane parts is a clothes line, with a number of shirts and towels hanging off it. Admiring the finer details of their set up, if a person could point at an object and conceivably call it junk, they’ve probably found a creative way to make it decorative. Rusty bicycles, old tires, couch cushions, broken deer antlers, you name it. And then that old truck he slept in every night while working on the drill? It now serves as the proud centerpiece of their little home, the cargo bed solidly affixed above the barn’s entrance. He spots the two former Homeworld Gems sitting up there with the TV, shaded from the midmorning glow with a sun bleached umbrella. Whatever they’re watching, they’re transfixed.

Grinning, he peels away from Amethyst and dashes the rest of the way, feeling the faint breeze dance between his curls. Wow wow wow, he’s seriously got like a hundred questions for them, and a hundred missed hugs to make up for!

“Hey, guys!” he calls, once he’s directly below the truck.

Lapis’s browline raises, attention nabbed. It’s enough to peel her eyes away from the television (is that Camp Pining Hearts he hears??) to meet his. A subtle but undoubtedly caring smile rushes across her face as she sprouts wings and drops from the truck’s bed to greet him.

“Steven! It's so good to see y- oof!”

He nearly barrels her over with his hug, clutching to her like a lone life raft in the midst of the open sea. Surprised and quite rigid in her affections, her arms shift to give his back an awkward pat in return. It’s a silent embrace on his part, yet manages to say more than words alone ever could. (Though at this point he’s not even sure words could do justice to all the complex emotions that are jumbled in his head.) Still… only a few short weeks have passed since they hung out together… so why does he feel like he hasn’t seen either of them in years?

“Steven, Amethyst!” Peridot chimes eagerly, dropping down from the truck as well and striding out into the sun. She screeches to a halt in front of them, expression pressing inwards in that uniquely inquisitive Peridot-like manner as she takes inventory of the scene before her. “Uhm… is… everything okay?”

He pulls back from the stunned Lapis, and gently wipes at the corners of his eyes. “Yeah, I’m just really, really happy to see you guys, that’s all!”

“Oh, yes! Of course. It’s only natural to miss the fulfillment of our company,” she says without missing a beat. Turning her gaze to her other visitor, the green Gem balls her hand against her chin. “Amethyst! Something looks different about you…”

She crosses her arms over the white tank top of her new form, her nose scrunching up. “Like what?”

“Have you grown taller since the last time I saw you?”

Amethyst’s eye twitches at the clear allusion to her new reformation. An infinitude of silence passes, in which she shoots her a glare sharper than the edges of the crystal studs on her whip. Honestly, being on the receiving end of her weapon might’ve hurt less. Sweat beads at his brow as he watches the situation unfold, yearning with every fiber of his being for a world where he actually feels confident enough to intervene instead of silently standing by as Peridot’s sense of tact veers straight off a cliff.

Behind them, Lapis saves them both and clears her throat.

“O-or… maybe I was mistaken,” the former kindergartener says in a low tone, flushing with shame. “My apologies.”

There’s a whisper of chill to the air enough to make him shiver as the quartz once more chooses not to respond, shifting her gaze to her feet. She digs divots into the dirt with her toes, already disengaging from his promise of social interaction, slipping further away with every passing birdsong from the entire purpose of this friendly visit to the countryside. He presses his lips tight, masking a frown. So far, nothing is going as planned, huh? As big of a dreamer he may be, he can’t say he’s surprised. Not a single thing in his life has gone to plan since he accidentally slipped on that tree branch inside Lion’s mane. Still, there’s gotta be some way to save this friendship session, right?

Come on, Steven, think positive!

Before anyone can quite begin to catch on to the subtleties of his troubles today, he plasters a manufactured smile on his face. “Wow, you guys are looking good!” he says cheerily. “And I love what you did to the barn!”

“Aww! I know,” she replies, regaining her grin as she glances between him and Lapis. “But wait, wait! You guys have to see the inside!”

And with this declaration, a few magical minutes pass wherein the two of them receive the highest honor of enjoying the Official Barn Grand Tour, presented by the very artists themselves. In a word, it’s a transformative experience. The outside looks amazing, yes, but in his wholehearted opinion the personal touches on the interior decor raises the place’s coziness to the next level. Over the past few weeks, Peridot and Lapis have spent their efforts transforming all the mementos and broken scraps of their lives into art, (or ‘meep-morp,’ as Lapis calls it), displaying the pieces all throughout their shared home. Peridot’s broken audio recorder now rests peacefully on a stand, a sky blue ribbon tied around the fractures at its middle. Touchingly, he learns that Lapis kept the leaf he gave her, delicately propping it upright in a clump of soil. A TV affixed to the ceiling beams with metal cables plays a clip of CPH on repeat. He has a niggling suspicion that the clip she selected represents her lingering trauma about, like… being trapped in a mirror for thousands of years, but according to her it’s merely a fan’s shrine of the show. Still, while discussing books together Connie once told him that all art is subjective and authorial intent is dead, so respectfully he’s sticking to his interpretation. But regardless of its meaning, he’s so, so happy to see her freely making things for herself. It’s a miraculous transformation from all the stiff rigidity the Gem Homeworld seems to offer.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the creative spectrum, Peridot’s green alien plush is floating alongside various hunks of garbage in the hodgepodge aquarium at the side wall. Its slow voyage through the tank is admittedly entrancing, but oh, do those big, deep, soggy eyes grow more and more unnerving the longer he stares at them. The final straw comes when he watches stuffing slowly drift out of a gaping hole in the fabric at its neck. Subtly cringing, he takes a step back from the glass to go admire something else. Sometimes art isn’t made for everyone’s tastes, and that’s okay. 

(It takes a few moments before he makes the proper connections and realizes that the red bow tie Peridot is wearing around her neck used to be that plush’s. Oh… oh geez.)

Amethyst, however, doesn’t seem to be buying any of it. In fact, she’s barely cracked a smile since they entered the barn, not even at Peridot and Lapis’ collaborative toilet morp. And who doesn’t laugh at toilets? On any normal day she’d eat that kind of stuff right up.

“This is so stupid,” she mutters, her eyes thin slits as she stares with a frustratingly unreadable expression at the four liquid pillars shooting up out of the bowls. 

Disappointment flickers across Lapis’ face like stars blinking out on the morning horizon. She quickly releases her iron hold on the water, channeling it into the heart of the tanks. A similar emotion colors Peridot’s features for a moment, and he briefly worries their visit may be cut off short, but after meeting his encouraging glance she seems to shake it off and promptly begins to move on to the next item of their home tour.

“Alright,” she says, folding her hands behind her back all prim and proper, “I see you're not impressed. But—”

“Hey, you guys!” a familiar voice shouts from the distance, growing closer and closer with each passing moment. “I’m here! I came! Is it too late to join in?”

All four of them whirl around at the interruption.

Peridot squints. “Is that…”

“Ruby?” Lapis finishes, confusion etched across her features with pinpoint precision.

“Ruby!” Steven calls, sliding across the floorboards to meet her at the barn door. “No, you're not late, you’re just in time! Look, look, look—” He takes her by the hand and whisks her inside, almost sweeping her clear off her feet in the process. 

Her mouth falls agape as she drinks in the rustic atmosphere, the air now a good deal lighter thanks to her interruption.

“Whoa… this place looks completely different!”

“I know, right??” he says with an untamable grin. He gestures wildly at all of their unique creations. “It’s art! Isn’t it great? Peridot and Lapis have been showing us all this super cool stuff they’ve made!”

“Yes, I suppose we are pretty great,” the green Gem says, puffing out her chest. 

Lapis rolls her eyes in response. No amount of sass can hide the action’s underlying fondness, though. Steven’s no imperceptive fool. She may act pretty aloof at times, but once you get to know her she’s not that hard to read at all. One merely has to pay attention to the subtler shifts in her demeanor. It’s the little things with her: the precise incline of her brow, a slight tilt of the head, the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it twitch of her lips as she pretends she doesn’t care as much as she does. And then, the more she trusts you, the less tense her posture is and the more she opens up. It makes his heart sing to know that— based on her body language now— Peridot has been added to that roster.

“Eh,” she murmurs with the hint of a smile, leaning back against the wall behind her roommate. “I guess we’re okay.”

Amethyst crosses her arms, her eyes narrowing as she peers down at Ruby. “So, what’s up with you? I thought you said you wanted to mope at the temple.”

She shuffles her feet. “Well…”

“And I thought you and that Sapphire never unfused,” Lapis says, ever so blunt. “Except… for baseball,” she hastily amends. Consumed by a spike of panic, her gaze darts towards the doorway with guarded suspicion. “We don’t have to play baseball again… right?”

“Hmmm… I mean, we could play baseball,” Steven muses, pressing his hand to his jaw. 

That’s certainly one way he could encourage Amethyst to enjoy some bonding time with everyone. He has a bunch of fond memories of the last game they played together. Well, okay, so maybe he could’ve done without the ceaseless feeling of dread brought by batting against Homeworld loyalists with unknown intentions, but beggars can’t be choosers. As his first time playing a full game it was still 70% a good time.

Peridot, however, does not seem to remember that day so fondly. Her petite frame quivers at its mere mention. She grips at her hair, large tufts of yellow poking out from between her fingers. 

“Oh my stars, they’re coming back??”

Ruby throws her a bemused side glance. “Uh—”

“Get behind me, Lapis,” she continues, shielding her roommate with her whole body. “I’ll protect us from those Homeworld brutes this time!”

“We’re not playing baseball!” Amethyst cuts in. 

His lips curl into a pout. “Aw, but it’d be so much fun!”

She crosses her arms, visibly walling herself off. “Uh, no, it wouldn’t! ‘Sides, there’s no immediate danger, and there’s no Homeworld rubies on our doorstep, so there’s not a single reason on this planet I’d play that stupid game again!”

Eyes narrowing with mild exasperation, Lapis nudges her way out from the green Gem’s overprotection. “‘Kay. So, is anyone here actually gonna explain what’s going on, or?”

Nervously rocking on her heels next to him, Ruby rests her hand against her chin. 

“Well…”

“Ruby and Sapphire are kinda… taking some time apart?” he explains in her steed, noticing her hesitation. It’s probably something that’s really hard for her to talk about right now, and oh, boy can he relate to that. 

“Yeah,” she says in confirmation, kicking her toes against the floor boards. “I didn’t exactly want to, but Sapphy needs her space.”

For all her initial dislike of the fusion Gem, Peridot looks genuinely heartbroken at this revelation. “But… why?” she asks, peering between the three Crystal Gems in wait of further clarification. “Aren’t you two basically inseparable?”

Faint hints of lemon peel and nutmeg linger in the air like silent sentries to their distress. Steven stands in the kitchen with Pearl, Garnet, and his dad, Amethyst lounging on the other side of the counter, and their dirty breakfast dishes still lying stagnant in the sink. Garnet’s kneeling before him. She’s speaking, but he’s so distraught he can’t quite recall what it is she said. His dad’s hand rests on his shoulder, the pressure ever so slightly working to ground him to this moment again. He’s biting back tears, isn’t he? Trying not to cry for the umpteenth time that day. What happened? What changed? Everything’s fixed, yeah? He’s whole again! They were all supposed to be so happy now, and yet… the sight of the morning sun reflecting off the face of Garnet’s visor as she delivers that ill-fated news is the bitter, tangible proof that they’re not.  

“Ruby and Sapphire had a long discussion last night, and… have decided they want to take some time apart. Indefinitely.”

Amethyst’s expression is colored with hurt. “But… why?”

In the present he stiffens, suddenly polarized by the realization that the path of this conversation has but one destined endpoint. Sooner or later, his friends will hear about what happened to him four days back, what happened to his family, what he learned about his… about Rose. There’s no avoiding this forever. After all, if they don’t learn it from him, they’ll eventually learn it from someone else. And don’t they deserve to know? This affects them too! 

But if the recent past has taught him anything, it’s that the truth about Rose Quartz only succeeds in pulling people apart. It stole Garnet away. It shook his relationship with Amethyst and Pearl to the core. It caused them all to argue and fight, back at the fountain and at home. Give it time, and he’s sure the truth will find a way to press fissures in his relationships with Connie and Dad, too. So what happens, then, when Peridot and Lapis find out? In what way will the truth break them? 

Just a little while longer, he promises himself. Just one more good day, please, that’s all I want…

“They, um- it’s just a couples thing,” he stammers, chest growing tight. “It’s just for a little bit. Sometimes people need time away from each other, y’know?”

Ruby‘s expression grows tense, sniffing out his white lie from a mile away. “Steven…”

“It’s totally healthy and normal, and not at all a reason for concern!”

“Kinda sounds like we should be concerned,” Lapis mutters. “All of you have been acting weird this whole time, so spill! What’s going on?”

Their words start to become faint and distant in the shadow of his wildly pounding heart, so wondrously human and organic and alive, and yet so endlessly frustrating in its autonomy. Why can’t he hear clearly? What’s up with that awful ringing he can’t get rid of? It’s almost as if he’s listening to everyone ten feet under choppy waters, but they’re all standing right next to him. They’re right there.

The red Gem scratches at her neck, meeting Amethyst's harsh, crystal-studded glance first. Her mouth opens. Still disorientated, Steven misses a good half of it. 

“…wants to tell ‘em?” she finishes, waiting dutifully for their responses. 

As expected the quartz remains silent on the matter, feigning indifference as she crosses her arms and returns to staring sullenly into the middle distance. Ruby turns to him next. His skin feels downright clammy now, almost as bad as it did when he was almost dyi— NO! Stop! He shakes his head fervently, sweeping his hands horizontal in a signal for her to cut the conversation. He can’t do this. Not now, not today, not ever, he can’t—

Lapis bristles. “Tell us what?”

“Um, nothing, nothing!” he bursts out, clumsy words pouring from his mouth almost quicker than his brain can move to stack them up. “It’s a long story, and we’re all here to have some fun and shoot the breeze, right? Right. ‘Course we are! So we don’t have to talk about any of our problems right now, we can talk about it later, and in the meantime we should just try to have a good time with each other a—“

Amethyst slams her foot to the floor so hard the wooden board underneath cracks. Both Steven and Lapis flinch. 

“Ugh, you guys! Stop dancing around the headline!” she shouts. “You really wanna know what happened? Steven almost died ‘cause he got his gem busted, and then we found out Rose Quartz was totally a sham and she’s like, Pink Diamond n’ junk, okay?!”

A stunning silence follows this inopportune announcement, in which he swears he can hear his stomach gurgle. On any typical day around this time he'd be thinking about lunch, but at the moment he genuinely feels sick to his stomach. He craves nothing more right now than to turn tail and run, run away from all of this, and yet— chained to his fate just as Lonely Blade was to his— his legs remain firmly shackled in place. Standing at his side, Peridot blinks in dumbfounded shock.

“What.”

“S-she’s- You’re a DIAMOND??” Lapis shrieks, water wings shooting from her back on impulse.

“What?!”

Chapter Text

When your life has become a continually evolving string of heart pounding adventures linked together by the odd few days off, you quickly learn to fixate on the finer, less noticed details no matter what the circumstance, as you never know when one of those details could be used to save everyone’s butts. Sure, it’s not like this outlook did him any favors back in the forge, but his point still stands: a Steven who isn’t paying close attention to his surroundings at every last second of his existence is a Steven who can’t properly help his friends. If he’s not innately aware of everything around him, he can’t raise his shield in time. He won’t be able to pull the right tool out of his cheeseburger backpack. He can’t give a perfectly worded response to a soul in need. 

This is a non-negotiable fact, and the blunt reality of how he blundered with Bismuth merely cements it ever more solid. 

Which is why— deep beyond the wandering disorientation of his current surface thoughts— he can’t help but wonder why he’s unable to pay attention to all the details that actually matter right now. 

The individual threads of all his friends’ panic, confusion, and attempted explanation overlap and intertwine, weaving an audible tapestry of emotions. Their precise words, however, may as well have died in the wind. Mentally, he is not here anymore. Instead, the fragmented remains of his focus choose to zero in on the wood grain pattern spread across every beam and board of the barn’s rustic infrastructure. Wholly enamored, his eyes trace a path between the dark ridges as if traversing a maze. Tree rings are super pretty, huh. He absolutely doesn’t give them the love and admiration they deserve. 

But as is evident from the slight musty smell and the dainty mushrooms beginning to sprout by the floor in one of the corners, some of the boards are beginning to rot, becoming host to their own miniature ecosystems. His mouth falls slightly ajar, and he stares at these fruiting bodies with such stubborn commitment that for a moment he forgets anything else was ever a priority. 

Have Peridot and Lapis noticed? Do they even know what wood rot is? 

Upon that thought, he frowns pensively, balling his fist at his chin. Hmm. Given their relative inexperience with Earth stuff, the most likely answer to that is no. He’ll have to call Dad about fixing the boards before this grows into an even bigger problem. It’d be awful if their home became unsafe to live in because he didn’t do his part to help. 

But then again…

“What do you mean, none of you know why she did it? That just makes it worse!” 

“Lapis! Lapis, wait! They said she’s—”

“Let go of me!” she says, struggling in Peridot’s grasp, her water wings flaring outwards at the ready. “Don’t you get it? I can’t live here on Earth anymore, it’s not safe! None of us are safe!” 

Is he already too late? 

Lapis’s impassioned cries continue to echo at the edge of his awareness— something paranoid about shapeshifted disguises, about the Diamonds— but his feet are still anchored to the boards below, his body all but stagnant in shock of the current maelstrom of emotions. And yet, it’s strange… while a sum of him dimly recognizes he’s still attached to reality, it’s almost as if he’s watching all of this from above himself, stuck as a passive observer to his failure. Helpless. (C-cracked, I’m- I’m cracked, I’m split I, I can’t… feel… I need… I-I need to—) Slimy tendrils of guilt slither around his heart. He wasn’t paying close enough attention to the mood. He wasn’t careful. He wasn’t convincing. He was too scared that everyone would devolve into petty argument if he told the truth, and look what happened! He ran his mouth when he should’ve stayed silent. He caused his own nightmare. His family’s splintering apart once more, and it’s all his fault. 

“But it’s not like that,” Ruby hastily interjects, “I’m sure it’s not like that!” 

“Really? You’re seriously jumping to defend Rose, after all the lies she fed us?” Amethyst spits back. 

“N- no! I’m just saying, why would—” 

The constant chirping chorus emanating from the birds of the nearby woods steals his fragmented focus next, and he can’t help the sense of relief that bubbles up from within as he willfully sinks into this blissful distraction. The birds, their songs are beautiful. He wonders what they’re saying to each other… if they’re arguing about territory, warning friends about predators, or simply having a friendly conversation. Maybe his dad might be able to distinguish the difference. When he was still living in the van, they used to lay on that ratty old mattress side-by-side late at night, listening to the crashing tides and the distant squalls of birds picking at trashed food on the boardwalk. Because one of his human relatives was big into birding when they were kids, Dad was always able to stake a reasonable guess on the species class based on call alone. And honestly, that’s a pretty amazing power to have. As he related earlier, it’s important to fixate on the finer details. 

Attention to detail can save lives. It can soften hearts. It can make or break friendships. 

But as he’s grown to fear, it can’t fix everything. He can’t fix everything. 

The blue Gem’s features twist with simmering fury. “Peridot, I told you to let me go!” she hollers, and in a single jerk rips herself away from the shorter Gem’s desperate embrace. Her wings swing like a whip behind her as her body follows the motion through. It’s enough of a shock to the system that his sense of awareness comes rushing back. He ducks, the water swishing right over his head. Something behind him snaps and clatters to the ground. Ruby presses a bejeweled hand to her face, muttering something he can’t distinguish. 

“‘Kay, I’m out,” Amethyst cuts in through the chaos, throwing her hands up. “Y’all are whack, this whole convo is whack, and I can’t deal with any of this right now.” Not wasting a single second, she tucks herself into a ball and super-speeds it out of the barn. 

Mouth caught in a tiny, helpless ‘o,’ Steven whisks around, only barely catching a glimpse of her retreat before he spots the damage. It’s one of Lapis’s morps, that wooden hanger displaying all the baseball paraphernalia. Now it lies rejected on the floorboards, one of the strings broken and the bat rolling towards Peridot’s feet. He watches, feeling lambasted with regret for his role in sparking this argument, as the green Gem’s face crumples much like the structural integrity of that meep-morp. She blinks away the threat of tears and quickly averts her gaze from the group, bending to pick up the bat before clutching it to her chest in a protective manner. 

The water Gem huffs and storms out of the barn as well, fists unyielding at her side. Heart pounding amidst all the uncertainty of this fraught situation, Steven scuttles after her. Come on, think! he snaps at himself, chewing pensively at his lip. There has to be a way he can still save this, a way he can stop his family from shattering into disparate pieces yet again…

“Lapis,” Ruby begins, delicately edging towards her. 

“No, stop,” she holds up a hand. Her expression— as nebulous and hard to ascertain as always— is caught at some weird nexus between blinding anger, terror, and… is that guilt he spies? “Stop talking! I’m not asking any of you to change my mind. I’m leaving, and all of you should be too!” 

Turning on her heels, she squares her stance and flares her wings to their full width in preparation for her flight. Just before those watery wings can beat downwards, propelling her lithe form away from his world forever, he leaps forward… dares to grab her wrist. She gives a sharp inhale, briefly tugging against him before she notices who the hand belongs to and falls slack in his hold. 

Static assails his mind as he assesses every angle of this jerk-moment decision. What on earth is he doing?

(He can outright feel Ruby and Peridot’s anxious, curious gaze drilling into him from behind, and they’re not even in his line of sight. No matter what the outcome, this is all on him. No one else.) 

“I-I, um,” he stammers at first, scouring his brain with empassioned desperation for the right words to say. “Please, I’m… You don’t have to be scared like this. I may have her gem, but I’m not her!” 

Lapis gives a shaky sigh. Her wings droop right along with her shoulders, the persistent burden of thousands of years of captivity evident within her rigid posture. Waiting in the shadow of her silence, his focus falls on the gemstone adoring her back, that smooth, glossy teardrop. Golly, somehow it doesn’t feel all that long ago that her gem was cracked, and— scared, angered, and confused— she lashed out at everyone in much a similar way. 

“I’ve always known you’re not your mom, Steven,” she says lowly, still not meeting his gaze. “This- this isn’t about that!” 

“Then… what is it about?” 

She growls in frustration, clenching her fists as she yanks her wrist away from his grip. “Have none of you been listening to me?” 

“Have you been listening to us?” Peridot mutters flatly from behind him. 

Lapis shoots her a sour look, but continues, pacing across the grass as she speaks.

“If one diamond was able to fool an entire empire into thinking she was a quartz for thousands of years,” she says, gesticulating to emphasize her words, “then- then how do we know the other Diamonds aren’t already here doing the same, already watching from a distance, just waiting to shatter us for everything we’ve done??” 

Her sharpened words echo across the fields, familiar bird calls cutting short as even nature falls silent under their sway. Steven stands motionless, her paranoia-tinted prophecy sinking in to his veins through every porous layer of his flesh despite all efforts otherwise, sowing roots in the darkest corners of his mind, the corners he dare not peep into. 

When no one responds, the blue Gem exhales, lowering her face to the ground. “I’ve let my guard down too much here, I’ve let myself grow soft. I’m sorry, but I have to go.” 

He swears he hears a note of disappointment laced between the layers of her uneven breath, or perhaps it’s heartbreak. He can’t tell. Despite his usual aptitude at interpreting others’ feelings, Lapis is consistently hard to read. And it’s this very thought, this subtle dissonance from the expected in her intentions, that encourages him to reach out one last time. 

Her wings flare out again. Blood and hard-light thrum at an almost dizzying pace through his parallel veins. It’s now or never.

“Lapis, wait!” he calls, palm open wide. “Please, please don’t leave! Not now, not like this.”

Their world crystallizes into ice as he vies to meet their shared fears head on. There’s no sunlight, no bird calls, no wind, no Ruby and Peridot behind him. No more untimely distractions. Only Lapis, desperate and hurting amid the heart of the storm he created. She holds her wings taut, ready for flight, hovering at the edge of her metaphoric tower. Breath trembling, she glances behind. The sheer complexity of emotion Steven discovers in those sea blue irises almost makes his eyes water.

“Maybe you’re right,” he begins, taking one cautious step forward. “Maybe this planet never will be completely safe. Maybe nothing ever goes to plan. But the Crystal Gems have only survived this long because they stood together instead of breaking apart. A-and… I know you don’t think of yourself as a Crystal Gem,” he cuts in quickly with a placating gesture, noticing the very question forming on her lips, “but please-! With everything else that’s happening, I really, really still want you in my life.”

Tightly, she wrings her fingers around her opposite arm, face dipping dolefully towards the soft soil squishing up between her bare toes. “Steven, I…”

“I can’t promise you’ll be safe on Earth, but I can promise you won’t have to be alone,” he says, voice thick. “Please.”

Stay, he mouths, his body nearly shaking in fear of how she’ll respond, of all the inner thoughts flooding through her mind he’ll never wholly decipher. Their gaze locks, souls laid bare to each other as they engage in a rapid-fire dialogue no other creature of this world will ever be privy to.

If you can't stay for yourself, he cries in isolated silence, can’t you stay for me?

The seconds are punctuated only by the reverberant tremor of his heartbeat as he stands upon a precipice in wait of her pivotal, defining answer. 

Eventually, her expression softens. She folds her wings, standing down. 

“Fine,” she spits. “I’ll wait and see what happens… for now. But if I ever find out any of the Diamonds are inbound, or worse? I’m out of here.”

A stiff gust of wind rushes past, threading through her hair and causing her dress to undulate like mid-ocean waves. Shadow obscures her face.

“I’m not getting pulled into another war.” 

And with that, she turns tail and storms past the tent, past the rickety fence bordering her and Peridot’s barn, and into the overgrown wildflower field beyond. Once she’s reached a far enough distance, she extends her wings and begins to fly, disappearing beyond the tree-line in naught but a flash. Everyone stares towards the thick swath of forest she escaped to with dumbfounded shock at first, no one quite sure how to proceed after that bomb of a conversation stopper. Ruby mutters something under her breath, clear frustration coloring her voice. Behind him, he hears Peridot reverently set the bat down on the barn’s floor.

“I’m… gonna go find her, and help her calm down,” she says. Clutching her hands close to her chest, she rushes past the two of them and begins her long, flightless trek into the Beach City woods.

Steven himself migrates towards the grassy patch beyond the pool, and— exhaustion ringing its unceasing song throughout his very bones— falls to his knees amidst the dandelions growing there. Most of them are still flowering, their lithe golden yellow petals fanning out from the head. A few on a separate plant are white and puffy though, ready to disperse their seeds. He’s drawn to one in particular, a seedhead that’s already missing half of its progeny. Biologically, he knows it’s a good thing that those seeds have flown away and might get a chance to germinate elsewhere, but the sight of this lonely, barren dandelion strikes a dour note anyways. Was he wrong, asking Lapis to stay? Could she eventually heal and become happier, leaving the burden of this place behind? He swallows hard, gripping the balding seedhead between two fingers and decisively plucking it off the stem. A few more seeds blow off with the disturbance, their feathery parachutes falling into the wind’s loving arms.

Lapis…

What if his selfishness is only holding her back? 

And then there’s Amethyst to worry about. Though there’s no point overextending the sad dandelion metaphor to fit her situation, because hers is something entirely unique. She’s still in his life, just emotionally closed-off. Bitter. Avoidant. Unfairly antagonistic to others. By inviting her out here he hoped she might take the opportunity to kick back and blow off some steam, but now, after watching her abruptly leave the group a few minutes ago, he’s worried this trip has only succeeded in further stressing her out.

A gem adorned hand falls upon his shoulder then, yanking him to the present. With a startled yelp, he tosses the dandelion into the grass as he flinches away. His heart drums uncontrollably, so much so that his cheeks burn with embarrassment when it dawns on him who this hand belongs to. He sucks in a shaky breath to calm himself down before allowing himself to sink into her comfort, glancing behind to meet Ruby’s tired, kind eyes. 

“Hey. Are you okay?” she asks. 

His tongue suddenly feeling as limp and dry as all the fallen leaves beginning to sprinkle the ground, he nods his head yes. But in an overt betrayal of his response, his big, stupid, puffy eyes begin to water. Frustration bubbles at his core as he wipes the burgeoning tears away with the butt of his palm. Stars, what’s his problem? Since when was he such a crybaby? He’s cried far too much lately, and he’s sick of it. He wipes harder as the tears begin to slip down his cheeks anyways, his bottom lip quivering as he vies with every last ounce of control he has left to not look entirely pathetic. The skin around his eyes, sensitive and raw, begins to sting from the friction. 

Wordlessly, Ruby wraps her hands around his wrists and leads them away from his face. His chest tightens. He fails to choke back that first sob as she pulls him into her embrace, his own arms trapped between them. She buries her face into the crook of his neck, and it’s then that he realizes with a shock of surprise that she’s crying too. Her quiet tears dampen his collar; her fingers clutch at the back of his shirt. 

“You don’t gotta pretend to be strong for us all the time,” she says with a slight waver to her voice. “I wanna be here for you too, okay? It’s just like you said… no matter what, we stand together.” 

“But I- I have to go find her,” he chokes out, the words sticking in his throat in the most pathetic manner. 

“Who, Lapis? Peridot’s prolly fine handling her on her own.” 

“No, I mean Amethyst. I saw her run off, an, and she’s been so upset today, and…”

“Steven,” she says, leaning away and gently lifting his chin so he can’t avoid her firm but compassionate gaze. “You’ve been under a lot of stress lately, and honestly? Most of it’s been our fault. You should take a moment to rest, okay?” Grinning, she ruffles his hair. “Enjoy the breeze! Climb a tree! Kick back for once, y’know? I’ll check on Amethyst this time.”

He whispers a hoarse ‘okay’ as he sits back on his heels in the sun and watches her run off, feeling the wind whip through his curls. Sighing, he splays his fingers just above the grass, allowing their tips to gently tickle his palm as they brush back and forth, and futilely tries to convince himself he’s cultivated enough good into the world today to deserve this break. 

Chapter Text

Having long since heeded Ruby’s advice to take a mental break, Steven sits criss-cross with his back pressed against the hodgepodge aquarium. If you ask him, this position is a two-in-one miracle, allowing him both an unobstructed view of the doorway, and sparing him from the deep rooted horror of the creepy dismantled plush still floating in an aimless arc through the tank. He loves Peridot to death, but good golly, this latest meep morp of hers is deeply unsettling. He shudders at the mere thought of its water-logged stuffing oozing out from the seams, and then— inhaling deep through his nose— steers his focus back to the phone clasped tightly between his fidgety fingers. 

Come on. Back to the story, you doofus.

With nothing better to do for the moment and a hyperactive mind to satiate, he’s finally started to read that Spirit Morph Saga fanfic Connie sent him a link to a few days before. True to her words, it’s super, super good. Well written, great characterization, and best of all, the author keeps throwing in hints of future romance between Lisa and Archimicarus! Considering that, he’s almost surprised Connie likes this fic so much. She’s normally not much of a shipper. To be fair though, romance definitely isn’t the main draw of the story. Instead, it’s an AU focused on the mystery of the main character’s origins.

He can’t help but let out a sympathetic sigh as— in chapter 5– Lisa tries to calmly explain to her fellow Stonehearth Coven members that somehow her father, the revered founder of the coven, used to be a prince of the wicked Arcane Court. Most of her once-close friends don’t swallow the news well. As a result, Lisa is left alone to seek the truth of her father’s past, with no allies except her trusted familiar at her side. Lip quivering, he presses his thumb solid against his phone’s screen for a while, as if yearning to reach a healing hand beyond the barrier between fiction and reality and let the young witch know she’s not alone, that he sees and supports her. He makes a mental note to thank Connie profusely for sending along this really good story, and presses on to the next chapter.

He’s halfway to the end of it when Peridot returns.

For someone who appeared super frazzled by Lapis’s terror-struck outbursts the last time she stood at his side, the Gem sure seems fit as a fiddle now, walking with a slight bounce in her step as she crosses past the fence line and onto the property. At least, he assumes she’s fit as a fiddle. He can’t help but immediately doubt this assessment when she spots him sitting against the inner wall of the barn with that piercing focus of hers and bounds through the doorway like a Gem fleeing the oncoming apocalypse.

“Steven, Steven, Steven, Steven!” she cries as she runs to his side, flapping her arms with urgency.

Practically tossing his phone to the ground to free his hands for possible combat, he leaps to his feet so fast that his head grows woozy. His rose-thorned shield shimmers into tangible existence in front of his barred fist. 

“What, what is it?” he exclaims, the pounding of his heart devolving into an untamable cacophony as all his darkest fears rear their ugly heads at once. “Is- is it Lapis? Did she leave anyways?”

“Uh, no…?”

“Or, or, or- are we under attack?!”

“Steven, I—”

“Who’s here for us this time?” he blurts, grabbing his friend’s shoulders. “Is it Homeworld? Jasper? The Diamonds? Tell meeee!” he whines, roughly shaking her.

“I— No one? It’s no one!” Peridot exclaims when her head finally stops jostling back and forth under his force, waves of confusion coloring her expression. “I’m… just happy to be back?”

His cheeks burn red as he drinks in the obviousness of her statement. He lets go of her, working to catch his breath. “O-oh,” he stammers, willing that shield floating before him to disappear into glimmers of light (and desperately wishing he could do the same at this precise moment of existence). “Okay. Glad to see you back! Did, uh… did you find Lapis?”

She nods in confirmation, but visibly deflates a little at the reminder of her roommate. “Yeah, she’s perched in a tree in the woods. She said she wanted some ‘alone time,’” she emphasizes with air quotes. 

Steven clasps his fingers together in front of him as he lets this news sink in, digits tussling without end for the most comfortable alignment. Bleeding heart that he is, he hates the idea of letting anyone be alone— especially after a revelation this jarring— but he must admit that even a part of himself found some comfort in solitude the night his organic half took for the beach, inert diamond in hand. If anything else, it was nice to retreat from all the noise, to allow himself the opportunity to form his own opinions about the situation. Perhaps it’ll be beneficial for her, too.

“That’s understandable,” he says, glancing out the barn door towards the forest his friend is taking refuge in. “She’s been through a lot.”

He squats to pick up his phone from the floorboards then, frowning as he notices a fresh crack on the glass at the corner of the screen. Knowing that— despite his desperate desires— there’s nothing he can do to fix this blemish right now, he shoves it in his pocket and pushes off against his knees to stand upright. The bottom of his shirt catches on his arm as he does so, briefly exposing the unfamiliar facets of his rotated gem. Peridot’s brows nearly shoot above the upper rim of her visor.

“So,” she begins, nodding towards his stomach. “Your gem.”

With a tired sigh, he tugs his shirt back down. Boy, does he already know where this conversation is heading, and boy, is he sick of having to walk everyone through it. “Yup,” he replies, popping the ‘p’ and getting ready to deploy the exasperated eye roll.

“All this time everyone thought you were a hybrid quartz, but now you’re telling me…”

“…that I’m actually a dia—”

“…that I, Peridot, certified Kindergartener, a skilled specialist on every variety of Gem to ever exist, was wrong??”

“Hold on, what?” 

She holds her hand over the diamond emblazoned on her chest as she passionately continues, wholly oblivious to Steven’s bemusement. “I was the brightest Gem of my cut back on Homeworld, and yet somehow I mistook a perfectly formed diamond for a quartz! Ah, hahahah!” Eyes glinting with what he can only describe as a borderline feral energy, she moves to clutch at the sides of her head, thick tufts of lemon yellow spilling out from between her fingers. “Oh, my stars. I’ve lost my touch!”

“Wait, who’s out of touch?” Ruby’s curious voice chimes from nearby. Overjoyed to see her again, Steven whirls to face her with a huge grin as she enters the barn and lounges against one of the support beams, propping a hand on her hip.

“I- it’s nothing important,” Peridot mutters, flushing as she smooths her hair back into place.

Immediately making note of the hint of shame dancing across her features, he nods. “Yeah, we were just chit-chatting! Hey, how’s Amethyst doing, though? You went to talk to her, right?”

Ruby huffs in frustration at the mere mention of the quartz Gem, grinding her boots against the floor so hard that for a second he’s genuinely concerned she might spark a fire underfoot. “Tried to. But then she slashed her whip towards me and said I couldn’t help her, so ‘go away!’” she exclaims, throwing her arms in the air. “Can you believe it? I’m trying to provide some love, and support, and she, she just- tells me to scram!”

“Aw, that’s not very nice,” he says with a frown, feeling his heart pulse in sympathy as she begins to pace back and forth across the wooden slats, grumbling under her breath.

“What’s her problem today, anyways?” Peridot asks, crossing her arms. “She’s usually much more amicable.”

Steven nibbles at the inside of his lip as he considers the concerning downward trajectory of Amethyst’s recent behavior. Sure, she can sometimes get snippy whenever she’s in a bad mood, but this past week her attitude has built into a continuous, outward-facing problem. He himself has been on the receiving end of her acerbic words more than a few times, such as that afternoon they goaded each other into a duel at the Sky Arena, and that barbed retort she pierced him with at the fountain. Then there’s her fight with Pearl, her resulting emotional seclusion, today’s callous treatment of Peridot, Lapis, Ruby…

He desperately wishes he could pin all the blame for this on a single person, a single event (because oh, wouldn’t that make his life so much easier), but when he tracks the spiraling evidence of her unrest it becomes blindingly clear that the source of her problem has nothing to do with Rose’s betrayal at all.

“Well, beyond all the, uh… latest stuff, she’s been super insecure about Jasper,” he offers. Rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet with his flip flops rhythmically clapping against his heels, he rummages his brain for the easiest way to explain the root of the situation. “Basically, Jasper took Amethyst out in a fight a week ago, and ever since that she’s been training super hard to get stronger. I think she’s desperate for a rematch, to prove she’s good enough.”

“Wait, wait, wait—“ The green Gem holds her hands out, palms open. “You’re telling me she’s got an inferiority complex about Jasper? With where she came from?” She lets out a raucous peel of laughter, holding her sides. “Oh Amethyst! That’s ridiculous! She was made way better than that clod.”

He squints at her, crossing his arms as he tries to make sense of the interesting new conversation thread that just flowed out of her mouth. “But what do you mean, ‘with where she came from?’ Isn’t she from Homeworld, like you?”

Ruby freezes in place upon hearing this question, clear worry threaded through her creased browline. Her mouth bobs open as if she’s gearing up to answer his question, but amidst her hesitation— a timidness that, the more he thinks about it, is bizarrely out of place from the headstrong, proactive Gem Steven’s gotten to know from all the other times Garnet’s unfused— Peridot beats her to the charge. 

“Pfft, are you kidding? She emerged right here from Earth, and not even from its good kindergarten!”

He slams his hands against his cheeks, internally reeling from this revelation. “There’s other kindergartens?”

“Well, sure! There was supposed to be one in every facet. Until the rebellion put a swift end to the Diamonds’ colonization efforts, that is,” she adds, adjusting her visor. “There’s Amethyst’s Prime Kindergarten in Facet Five, but there’s also the Beta Kindergarten in Facet Nine. And that piece of work is where Jasper was made… poorly!” Giggling in excitement, she rapidly shuffles her feet beneath her. The glimmer of light reflected in her eyes is almost bright enough to rival a distant star. “You guys have to see it!” 

Steven balls up his hand at his chin, deliberating. He has to admit, after the recent emotional upheaval that he now can’t help but associate with this place, he really likes the idea of spending time somewhere that’s not the barn. 

“Huh. Might be worth asking if she wants to check it out,” he says with a shrug. “Ruby, you in?”

The Gem in question nibbles at the corner of her lip, humming low under her breath as she considers his offer. A small bead of sweat hangs above her brow. Sporting a good natured grin, he nudges her in the side with his elbow, hoping he can cheer her up a bit.

“A little more time with your favorite Steven and Peri? Eh? Come on, you know you wanna!”

“Do it, do it!” Peridot chimes in, pumping her fists up and down. 

He eagerly joins in with her rallying cry, and in no time at all they’re both circling around their friend chanting those very words. Ruby stands center with her arms crossed and her back erect, desperate not to break her stoic facade with a smile. It’s a futile cause, of course. After all, no one can resist the good ol’ Universe charm forever!

“All right, fine, fine, I’ll come,” she acquiesces, and with a smirk, plants both her hands on her hips. “After all, someone’s gotta keep an eye on all you trouble makers, right?”

Now with Ruby officially on board, the trio ventures outside to find Amethyst, Steven and Peridot giggling as they begin to skip around the perimeter of the barn side by side, arms linked together. Brushing a few flyaway curls out of his face amidst the comforting breeze, he glances over his shoulder when they reach the first corner to make sure they’re not leaving their friend in the dust. And thankfully she’s right on their tail, but he can’t help but notice her enthusiasm seems muted. He presses his lips together in concern. Does she not want to go with them? Is he only guilting her into this? His stomach twists with shame as he ponders this quandary further. It’s not his intention to be pushy, but maybe— between coercing Amethyst to take a break and accompany him to the barn, begging Lapis to stay, and now, nudging Ruby to come to the Kindergarten— he’s only being selfish and manipulative about all this. He thought he was bringing people together, but what if he’s wrong? What if he’s only straining relationships, tainting the already tense atmosphere and making everything worse?

(What if these are the same sort of excuses his mom Rose used to make?)

With Amethyst slashing her whip at a few old rusted cans in the clearing before them, however, there’s no time to waste drowning within what-ifs. It’s like that day he learned about Garnet’s future vision for the first time: if he lets himself get tangled up in the possibilities he’ll never truly live. He sighs under his breath, lips pursed. Of course. Garnet’s right even when she isn’t here. As much as he’d love to go crazy psychoanalyzing the impact of every solitary step he makes, at this point he’s made his choices and whatever happens, happens. It’s time to live now.

At first the quartz Gem is rather indignant at the idea that the three of them were gossiping about her behind her back— her eyes clouded with hurt— but once Peridot explains that the point of their proposed Kindergarten field trip is to check out Jasper’s no-doubt lame hole, she blinks away her bitterness and seems to eagerly climb aboard.

“Sure, why not? ‘S not like there’s anything more fun than roasting your enemies.”

“I strongly agree,” Peridot says, nodding with pride. 

But before the newly expanded Shorty Squad can begin their journey, there’s something Steven really needs to address. Something that’s been troubling him all day. Nervous butterflies filling his stomach, he leans up close to his sibling-in-crime and whispers so the others don’t hear:

“Amethyst, can I talk to you for a sec before we leave?”

Her expression curdles, but thankfully, she doesn’t make a move towards her whip to push him away like she did in Ruby’s unfortunate account. Instead, she meets him with a gaze so hardened and difficult to read that his eyes can’t help but drift away, perhaps a little intimidated by the intensity of this contact.

“Yeah, I guess,” she mutters eventually. She flicks her wrist up at the other two, gesturing for them to get a move on. “Go on ahead. We’ll catch up.”

Ruby and Peridot nod, the red Gem with a good deal more sympathy drawn on her face (but for him or Amethyst?), and set off towards the warp pad. He continues to watch until they disappear beyond the curve of the grassy hillside, both conversing comfortably. The last thing he hears before the warp shoots its cyan stream of light into the sky is a hooting laugh from Ruby. Despite how non-ideal this visit has been so far, he can’t help the way his smile stretches across his cheeks at this, or how his chest grows all warm and fuzzy. It’s really nice to see Peridot getting along so well with the others now. She’s made such huge strides in the past few months.

Something metallic clangs behind him. Flinching, Steven whirls around. A crumpled, abused soda can lays overturned by the side of the barn. Amethyst— arms crossed tight just under her gem and her hair more spiked and untamed than usual— glares at that poor hunk of tin as if it’s solely to blame for half of this galaxy’s problems. She moves to lean against the barn’s outer wall and peers at him expectant sharpness, like a troubled child awaiting judgement from a parental figure.

“So. You wanted to talk,” she says, tone clipped.

“I… wanted to be honest,” he mutters, threading his fingers together as he grasps for how best to word this. “Amethyst… I know you’ve been going through some hard stuff lately. And I know everything that’s happened in the past few days doesn’t help. But you’ve been so inconsiderate of like, everyone here.” He swings his arm in a wide gesture towards the barn. “Peridot and Lapis didn’t deserve the way you treated them earlier.”

No response.

Steven frowns, and— a glimmer of quiet frustration bubbling deep within him, the sort he’d never admit to out loud but can’t help but harbor whenever he catches wind of all these small injustices that he can never seem to fix— scratches an burgeoning itch at the nape of his neck. He… oh stars, he’s going about this completely wrong, isn’t he? He’s being too confrontational. Hmm. Maybe he should try a new angle. Time for take two.

“I know you only acted that way because you’re hurting and don’t wanna think about it,” he continues, “but please, you don’t have to box your emotions away like that. I wanna help. I wanna listen.” 

Slowly, gently, he moves to place a hand on her shoulder. It feels like a genuine victory when she doesn’t shift upon his touch.

“Believe me, you’re not alone in feeling this way.”

Again, nothing. She’s not even looking at him right now, and her jaw’s locked. Even her form feels tense under his fingers, with hard-light pulsing back and forth under her illusory skin at an alarmingly unusual pace. 

He sighs, gaze dropping towards the ground, towards the battered can she kicked aside earlier. “I’m worried, y’know? But… I understand if you’re not ready to talk… about Jasper, and—”

“Oh, hoh! That’s rich!” she explodes, jerking her arm away. “You seriously wanna bury your head in the sand and pretend this is just about Jasper?”

He tiptoes away from her rush of anger, eyes growing puffy. “I—”

“You wanna know how I feel, Steven? About your mom, and the whole awful mess she made? Do you really? ‘Cause I don’t have a single CLUE what I should feel anymore!”

Amethyst pauses for breath amidst her tirade, locking sight with him for just long enough to grant him a window into the glimmer of sheer hurt reflected in her violet irises, showing that deep underneath all those twisted layers of anger and resentment she’s just another scared, abandoned Gem like him. 

“Rose was everything to me, okay?” she says, throwing her palms wide for emphasis. “And all this time, I thought she was the one Crystal Gem who could be real with me. The only one who wouldn’t sugarcoat things or treat me like a baby. ‘Oh, you’re perfect just the way you are, Amethyst!’” she coos in a fake, silky-sweet voice, cupping her cheeks as she openly mocks the very Gem who gave him life so he could exist. “You’re such a strong little quartz, you mean so much to me!’ Hah!” 

She pauses to force a bitter laugh, clenching her hands into insufferably tight fists.

“And wasn’t that just a huge load of silt,” she spits, staring off into the rosy distance as if it were but a cruel mirage, the pain more than evident within the taut features of her face. “All along I thought she was this great, faultless person, just like you did. Except she wasn’t. She’s a liar, like everyone else. I’m worthless, just like Jasper said… and Rose knew it.”

Hesitantly, compassionately— heart breaking for the internal struggle she’s caught within, a struggle he intimately relates to— he tries once more to reach out in comfort. 

“Amethyst…”

She sniffles, wiping away the leaking fluid pooling at the corners of her eyes. 

(She does not, however, brush him away this time when he wraps his arms around her torso and nestles his head against her chest.)

“Just— forget it, okay?” she says after a quiet moment’s embrace, gently stepping back from his affection. “It’s whatever. Come on, Peridot and Ruby are waiting for us. Let’s dump this joint.”

Ruby shuffles across the loose soil with all the silent elegance of a Homeworld pearl, directing her eyes as low to the ground as she possibly can to avoid having to stare at the Beta Kindergarten’s steep cliff walls. 

“Red sandstone,” Peridot proclaims to Steven and Amethyst from a few feet away, whirling in place with her arms extended wide. “We’re lucky this place hasn’t blown away. Beta, am I right?”

Steven manages a soft laugh at this. Amethyst continues onward with her arms crossed, unimpressed. But Ruby herself? Well, she’s the only Gem here who can say she crossed the plane of this infamous swath of sedimentary rock at its very beginning, on the day of emergence. The others may choose to laugh about how soft and unideal these soaring sandstone cliffs are as a vehicle for incubation, or about how the uneven exit holes and curved walls are textbook examples of this Kindergarten’s inferiority to Amethyst’s Prime, but in her opinion it’s no laughing matter. She’s seen firsthand how deadly even a so-called ‘imperfect’ Homeworld soldier can be. Even Garnet barely escaped with her gems intact.

With all that in mind, she can’t help but feel just as caged as a Homeworld pearl in this place, too.

Nervously flexing her fingers at her side as she tries not to dwell too deep upon old tragedies, she flashes her gaze upward, daring to catch even a passing glimpse of the top of the vast canyon. In an instant her vision swims with endless pillars of rusty oranges and reds.

Everything on this planet might as well tower over her without Sapphire. The once-welcoming arms of their temple? Monolithic. The vaulted ceilings of the beach house? Her eidetic memory can’t help but remind her of her early days spent marching through Homeworld’s diamond sized hallways with the rest of her squadron, patrolling the same route for well over five hundred cycles straight. The kicker? The Diamonds never had any reason to visit the shipment sector in person, anyways. The hallways were only constructed with such high ceilings to remind any Gem passing through of their rightful place under the Authority. 

Over two hundred years, she adhered to their twisted rhetoric. Two hundred years of allowing everyone and everything around her to make her feel small, like she only existed for a singular purpose… like she was replaceable, not even an individual of her own. Two hundred years of ignoring the tug of dissatisfaction at the core of her gem because of the misplaced belief that orderly subjugation under the Diamonds was simply the rightful pattern of existence. Then, in a beautiful bloom of light… she caught a glimpse of true freedom. And for the five thousand seven hundred years after that, Garnet didn’t feel quite so small anymore. She felt capable, confident, satisfied. Aided by Ruby’s physical strength and Sapphire’s future vision, she finally dared to challenge Homeworld’s stringent rhetoric. She dared to live for herself. 

Sighing under her breath, Ruby touches her fingers to the place in her right palm where her missing gem is, tracing the triangular shape of its illusory facets.

There’s no use arguing; Garnet was a better Crystal Gem than she can ever hope to be on her own. And now, because Rose just had to go and manipulate all of them, there’s a strong chance she’ll never get to be Garnet with her Sapphy ever again. Which means that until further notice, she’s stuck like this: short, stubby, and woefully insecure. Hah! Figures. All those years spent fighting against Homeworld’s warped notion that Gems had stagnant purposes and couldn’t grow beyond their stations, and now it’s as if she’s been dumped right back at the beginning, like the past five millennia never happened.

It’s a cruel irony.

And yet it’s no crueler than this awful place: a cradle of birth manufactured as a tool of war, a Gem’s very existence leeching the life out of this once-fertile ground. The scars on the walls tell a mournful story, and as Ruby slowly trudges after her loved ones, fingers numb and fidgety in the wake of haunted disorientation, she can’t help but wish she wasn’t present for its somber prologue. 

“Ruby…?”

Her sight trains on one of the tilted exit holes closest to ground level, on the messy silhouette it provides. She remembers this one, in fact, Garnet watched her emerge. She was a carnelian. By Homeworld’s standards, an imperfect one. That doesn’t matter, though. None of Homeworld’s lies matter. Running on nothing but the primary orders she was incubated with (it wasn’t her fault, it was the Diamonds’, she reminds herself with a bitter growl), that Gem still emerged to poof three fellow rebels on sight. If Garnet hadn’t been so quick to retrieve their gemstones, they might have been shattered that day. Many of the others assigned to her squadron weren’t as lucky. Inhaling shakily, Ruby pauses to trace her fingers across a raised ridge in the rough, brittle sandstone.

“Hey, Ruby!” his energetic voice calls again, snapping her out of her intense focus like a fusion splitting in half.

“Aaaah!” she cries, swinging around and pulling both fists up in defense. Her hands uncoil in a flash once she catches a glimpse of that cheery yellow star.

Aw, scrap! she chides herself, repositioning her feet solid on the ground to regain some sense of internal balance. Damned startle reflex.

Unfazed, Steven grins boyishly, skipping a few steps away from the rest of the group to join her by the cliff wall. “Penny for your thoughts?”

Amethyst and Peridot are watching now too, she realizes, her brief but audible outburst thoroughly diverting their attention from their Beta Kindergarten roast session. Their quizzical glances pin her in place, her hard-light form heating in embarrassment as she struggles to organize the flow of her emotions in a way that might make sense to anyone beyond a fellow ruby. She scrunches up her nose and considers her next words carefully, attempting to strike the proper boundary between what is and isn’t appropriate to say in front of a half-human child. Stars knows Amethyst, Pearl, and herself haven’t had a great record with that over the past few days.

“Just thinkin’ about Sapphire, mostly,” she admits, offering him a saddened shrug. “Can’t seem to stop that, even half a world away.”

“Speaking of that... Why did you run after us?” Amethyst asks in a notably less cranky manner than earlier, kicking at the dirt with the toes of her booties. “You never said.” 

“Y’know, I…” She pauses, pressing her hand to her chin. “I’m not sure. I spent days waiting in front of the temple door. And eventually, I guess I figured that if she’s gonna make me wait no matter what, I might as well do something with myself until then. ‘Sides, I didn’t want to be lonely,” she adds, suddenly feeling just as small and vulnerable in front of all of them as her timid voice sounds.

She felt lonely enough when she ran away from home a few days ago, tears streaming in messy rivulets down her face, utterly spurning their attempts at comfort so she could pretend she was anything else than powerless amidst this nightmare. She never wanted to split, not at all. She begged Sapphire to give their relationship another chance, to believe in the strength of their love more than the fear of a diamond’s control, but tragically, her partner couldn’t hold up under the pressure. If one individual doesn’t wholeheartedly want to be Garnet, then Garnet cannot exist. They can’t synchronize. It’s simply the nature of fusion. And given her love’s avoidance, refusing to so much as leave her room to begin with, Ruby’s beginning to lose hope that their fusion will ever exist again. The crippling isolation that realization affords is the worst form of loneliness she can imagine.

Thus, the least she can do at the moment to mitigate these all-consuming feelings is to get off her butt, leave the temple, and ensure she’s surrounded by loved ones.

Peridot steeples her fingers together in front of her chest. “Well, what if you moved in with us?” she offers in a meek tone at first, her expression brightening as she continues to explain her idea. “The barn’s got plenty of room, and with two roommates you’d never have to feel lonely again!”

Steven’s dark irises practically sparkle. “Aww, Peridot, that’s super sweet of you to offer!”

“Wow, thanks,” she replies, puffing out her chest in a rush of personal pride. “I do try!”

“Yeah!” Ruby says with a hesitant laugh, scratching at the back of her neck. “That sounds amazing, but…” 

“You should do it, Ruby!” he encourages, bouncing up and down on his sandaled feet amidst his excitement. “You should totally move in with them!”

“D’ya… d’ya really think so?”

“Yeah! It’d be like your very own vacation, but you’d only be a warp away!”

“And you’re sure you’d be fine with it? Y’know, with everything at home all…” She blows a juicy raspberry, jabbing her thumb down.

Amethyst serves her a big shrug. “I ain’t got a problem. Go crazy.”

“There’s no need to worry about me,” Steven says, smiling evenly. “I only want what’s best for you. And if you think not staying in the temple all the time would make you feel better, you should give it a try!”

Her concerned glance drops on the young half-Gem. Sure, it’s very compassionate of him, actively choosing to care so deeply for everyone’s emotional needs all the time, but as of late, home life for him hasn’t exactly been nurturing and hospitable either. He already lost one of his pillars of stability when Garnet unfused. Pearl and Amethyst are at each other’s necks again. Sapphire hasn’t emerged from her room for days. Greg’s… doing whatever it is Greg does when he’s not hanging out with his son, probably keeping his distance from the dangers of Gem business as usual. So with all that in mind, even if temporarily living apart from Sapphire is sure to be a beneficial move for her personal well-being and sanity, is now actually the proper time to consider a change in scenery? She purses her lips.

“I’ll think about it.”

Peridot lets out a sharp squeal of delight, ecstatic about the prospect of possibly gaining a new roommate. Ruby can’t help but grin at her reaction. In truth, if she didn’t have to consider the well-being of Steven and the rest of the Crystal Gems, she’d say yes in a heartbeat. After all, she’s never gotten the opportunity to make many decisions on her own. Heck, she’s never gotten the opportunity to do much of anything on her own. Every time she’s unfused within the last five thousand years, her priorities have always been about what Sapphire would want, what Sapphire would do. 

Well, what about Ruby, this time? Aren’t her desires important? What does she want?

Long term… she has no clue. But right now? She’d prefer to avoid dire reminders of old sorrows at all costs, thank you. So when Peridot declares that she’s 99.9% positive she’s found Jasper’s exit hole, Ruby declines to join them in their roast session. She never came here for sightseeing, anyways. She came here as their lookout. Just in case. She’s never trusted this awful gash in the ground one bit, and she’s not about to start now.

Running under the habitual instincts of the programming she was incubated with, she creeps deeper between the narrow mouth of the cliffs and summons her gauntlets at her side. Sure, so maybe they’re not as daunting in their size as Garnet’s, but they can still pack one heck of a punch. She’s still good at punching on her own, yeah? Hopefully? Stars, it’s been so long since she’s gone solo for more than a few measly hours.

And then, nestled at the cliff base in front of her, she spots the most unusual exit hole she’s seen in this miserable canyon yet. For one, it’s low to the ground, like Amethyst’s. That fact alone is enough to set off alarm bells in her head. On top of that, its silhouette is indistinct and almost comically wide, not resembling any cut of Gem she’s aware of. 

“Huh. That’s different,” she murmurs, pacing closer to investigate.

Maybe an off-color topaz could punch a hole as wide as this? But… no, no. That can’t be right. Hard-light coursing wildly through her form, Ruby dissipates one of her gauntlets and runs the tips of her fingers across the crumbly inside surface of this hole. A few granules of sandstone break off upon her touch and clatter against the ground, and she jerks her hand away as if touching impossibly cold ice. Something about this feels… wrong. To be fair, she’s no expert kindergartener like Peridot, but she’s pretty confident the interior of exit holes— even the most imperfect ones— should be smooth, with striated rock layers extending all the way back. Instead, this bizarre scar in the cliffs almost seems like—

“It’s been dug out… recently,” she says to herself, eyes widening in dawning horror.

Which means they may not be alone in this rusted relic of a Kindergarten after all.

Her body suddenly feeling staticky and unbalanced amidst all this damning uncertainty, she tiptoes away from her mysterious discovery, slowly at first, and then— as the fear begins to bubble up within her core like water coaxed to a boil under her elemental power— transitioning into a sprint. We’re not alone, she repeats to herself in a harried mantra. Not alone. Not alone, we’re not alone, we’re—

Ruby’s foot catches on an uneven lip of stone jutting up from the ground, and she quickly plows headfirst into the coarse dirt, promptly ending her terror-stricken flight.

“Ow,” she whines as she recovers from this fall, rubbing at the side of her head. Not only is she a little dizzy, but her surroundings are made further hazy amidst the overbearing sunlight pounding indiscriminately upon the ground floor of this canyon. It’s enough disorientation to allow the jumbled code of her gem to begin to play tricks on her. For one, she swears she can hear this low, timid skittering, like thick claws scraping with a rhythmic fervor against the rock. Second, she’s half-convinced she can feel a surplus of physical vibrations radiating from the cliffs surrounding her. Squinting, she shields her eyes under a raised arm so she can begin to gain her bearings again. The blinding light recedes.

The red Gem gulps with dread amidst the burning colors of the harsh sandstone landscape. “Wait, is that—”

Her vision now unhindered by the sun’s abrasive luminosity, she rushes to catalogue every last facet of her current environment. It seems she’s stumbled her way into a massive clearing, lined on all sides by stacked rows of holes physically dug into the sheer walls. Each opening is barred by a number of thick metal rods, stripped right from the legs of the injectors that once incubated this hell in the first place. The resourceful engineering apparent in this setup is both impressive and terrifying all at once. Ignoring that tangible tug of hesitation at her core, she pushes herself back on her feet and creeps towards the closest cage to investigate further.

“Uh, you guys?” she calls out as she walks, the unusual curves of this canyon an undisputed blessing as they carry her message back to the others. 

“Yeah?” Amethyst chimes back, her voice notably distant. Too distant.

“We’ve got, um—” her hand glides across one of the bent, rusty bars— “a bit of a problem here?”

“What?? Speak louder, we can’t hear you!”

But before she can even prepare to reply, a fur-covered monstrosity leaps from the shadowy abyss of its prison and snaps its tusks at her. She yells, jerking her hand away from the cage and stumbling a few feet back. Her brow creases in abject confusion as she attempts to process what she’s seeing in front of her. It’s… it’s a corrupted Gem? This one’s most definitely a quartz; she can tell from the gemstone’s cut, as well as the distinctive fur-covered quadrupedal shape of its corrupted form. But why on Earth is it trapped within a tiny cage in the middle of a defunct kindergarten instead of roaming wild across the countryside? Or sitting safely enclosed within the protective stasis of a bubble? The ground beneath her feet grows noticeably warmer as a rush of impassioned anger surges through her hard-light form. She grinds her teeth together, flexing her fists at her side in the name of this cruel injustice. Caging isn’t part of Crystal Gem protocol for a reason!

Unfortunately, this horror show is nowhere close to being over. Her gaze passes over each and every cage in this clearing, finding scared, thrashing, corrupted Gems in almost all of them. Fluid builds up at the corner of her eyes as they scream and wail and caterwaul at her, riding the fresh wave of cacophony sparked by that Gem she spooked just a moment ago. How could anyone ever build such an awful place? And why? 

Then…

Heavy, assured footfalls bounce across the acoustically encouraging slopes and surfaces of this ravine, magnified tenfold in their wake. Ruby gasps, wasting no time in ducking behind a tall rocky formation at the mouth of the clearing. That’s definitely not Amethyst or any of the others. It sounds too large, too bulky. She kneels low to peek over the topmost layer of sandstone, a knot of dread coiling within as the footfalls grow louder and louder. Yearning for even a lingering spark of Sapphire’s foresight, she clutches at her head. The unknown, the impenetrable shadow of the future… shards, it haunts her more than loneliness itself.

And then, the specter of her history reveals herself, making Ruby’s tangible form stutter in the sheer terror her appearance affords.

Jasper— her greatest opponent, her nightmare, the Rebel Slayer herself— emerges from a plume of rising dust at the edge of this populous arena and enters the game.

Chapter Text

The whole mission is Garnet’s idea. 

By this point, they’ve known about Homeworld’s rushed Beta Kindergarten project for about fifty years. Frankly, its composition leaves much to be desired. The area is rich in the iron and silicon deposits necessary to produce a strong batch of quartzes, but the foundation they incubated all their new soldiers within is red clay cemented sandstone; it’s soft, and in constant danger of erosion. According to all the rebellion’s peridots, many of them top Homeworld kindergarteners before their eventual defection, this type of stone is critically unfit for Gem production. It can’t compress the inclusions of injector fluid at the correct pressure, can’t reliably bar the excess from draining through the porous material. As a result many of these incubation sites are predicted to ‘weep’ and lose critical volume, which will inevitably cause the emergent Gems to be ‘off-color’ in some fashion. Some may form under regulation height, some may exhibit crystal twinning, some may be incapable of standard abilities like shapeshifting or weapon summoning, so on and so forth.

As a fellow off-color herself, Garnet carries a deep empathy for all those who are unwanted and forsaken by the cruel rhetoric of their stagnant society. She can foresee the dire fate of these Beta Gems creeping over the horizon even without the benefit of future vision, can foresee that despite all of these soldiers’ loyal programming, they’re ultimately cursed to be eliminated within the cruel machine that is their Homeworld. One day beyond the battlefield, the so-called Great Diamond Authority will see no further use in their existence, and then they’ll be purged. Harvested for scrap. Trapped within a myriad of Gem-powered objects. Crushed and used within their drop ships for fuel. 

It’s pure tyranny. 

Thus, she refuses to let their cruelty stand without a just fight. They have to give these Gems a fair chance beyond Homeworld’s rule, because abandoning them would be abandoning everything that their brave rebellion stands for, that she stands for. She refuses to stand powerless and idle in the face of a Diamond’s commands like the Sapphire and Ruby she once was, refuses to let another tragedy slip her by without at least attempting to mend its damage. She is Garnet, she is freedom, and she is love.

And deep within the core of her being, she believes these soon-to-emerge soldiers deserve the same opportunity for renewal and hope as any other Crystal Gem.

For all that Ruby’s aware, a whole blasted geological era could have passed between that fateful moment she first set eyes on Jasper and the shards-late arrival of Amethyst and the others. All three of them duck into the shade behind the cluster of low rock formations she’s hiding amidst, Steven still huffing and puffing from the no-doubt harried and concerned exertion of their sprint towards her. Hard-light coursing from the gem in her palm to her extremities at random intervals amidst the crackling cinders of her immobilizing terror (she’s almost surprised her form isn’t outright flickering at this point), she desperately attempts to babble out an explanation. She’ll admit— it’s not a particularly coherent one. Something-something, hand dug holes, prisons of repurposed injector scrap, a whole menagerie of corrupted quartzes—

"Whoa, what the heck!” Amethyst interrupts, raising her head above the rocks and pointing across the clearing at the orange and red striped quartz diligently prowling the area like a true squadron leader. “Jasper’s here, too? Did everyone decide to skip on over to Beta today, or somethin’?!”

Peridot’s face scrunches in confusion as she regards her former mission partner.  “What is she doing?”

“She’s got all those corrupted Gems in cages,” Steven murmurs with realization, a tiny spark of outrage lighting up behind his eyes on those creatures’ behalf. “They’re not even bubbled, they’re just… trapped, and scared!”

Ruby brings her fist to her mouth, biting at her knuckles for a moment to anchor herself back to this present. Above all else, ignoring every tangled thread of trepidation and insecurity she bears, there’s one burning question about this whole scenario that pulses at her core with an unmatched luminosity:

“But why would she want so many corrupted Gems in the first place? Doesn’t she know she can’t tame them?”

The purple quartz growls, the fringe of her hair casting a dark and menacing shadow over her features as she tilts her head down and glares at her self-proclaimed rival. “I don’t think she knows nothin’.”

And as— instinctively, mistakenly, running off of over five thousand years of deep engrained habit— she attempts to open her third eye towards the winding tributaries of potential futures they may soon find themselves wading through and fails, it slowly dawns on her just how isolated and lost they all are, without Sapphire’s sight. Without her love.

“Neither do I…” she says, her stature shrinking in the throes of that suffocating inadequacy. Riding an abrupt wave of frustration, she slams her foot into the coarse dirt, gripping thick chunks of her coily hair between her fingers. “Aughhh, this is a terrible time to not have future vision!” she huffs under her breath, spitting out each word staccato.

“Pipe down!” Jasper hollers at the poor corrupted Gem cornered in the distance as she kicks one of the bars of its cage, her booming voice easily reverberating off the cliffs’ curvature.

All four of them can’t help but bite back their gasps upon this clamoring startle. Peeking her head just above the rim of the rocky outcropping, Ruby watches the fur covered quartz visibly shrink back at the soldier’s brusque command. Jasper continues, her unwavering show of confidence undeterred by this reaction. 

“You take orders from me now. You used to be a quartz too, didn’t you? What happened to you?”

Utterly failing to comprehend any of her words in this vulnerable, animalistic state, the corrupted Gem merely snaps its fangs at the bars, and then tilts its head sideways to begin chewing on one of them. Jasper scoffs, her lips rising in a mild sneer. Taking the risk to edge closer, she continues to verbally berate the poor thing, talking the same sort of smack Ruby’s former Homeworld commanding officer, Condor Agate, used to dish out. Ruby grinds her teeth together so hard as she watches this display that the pressure and heat alone might be enough to form a brand new batch of Gems all on her own. Jasper even finds a moment to rope Amethyst into her insults, which almost has the stone in question summoning her whip in pure unfiltered fury. It’s only Steven and Peridot’s quick clutch on her shoulders that holds her back from steamrolling into the clearing with zero preparation and potentially making a terrible mistake. Still, she’s gotta admit, the temptation to whoop this Homeworld brute’s butt herself right this minute is devilishly hard to resist.

Ruby growls, one of her gauntlets emerging into existence on her clenched fist in a glittering burst of light. “Oh-hoh, do I wanna launch this baby right into her dumb, chalky face…!”

“But maybe first we should go back to the temple and grab reinforcements?” Peridot whispers with panic visibly tightening its grip on her form, whirling around to face her.

She pauses a moment to let the logic of this suggestion sink in, gaze hardened, and self-consciously aware of how her fellow Gems are (wrongfully) looking towards her as their leader in this chaos. What options do they even have? They can choose to fight, that’s one. They could disengage. They could retreat to Beach City and seek backup. If they were truly desperate, they could surrender. (Although she’s not confident Jasper would gracefully accept anyone’s defeat, not until it ended with their poofed— maybe even shattered— gemstones littering the coarse sand.)

As the gears are still pirouetting in her mind, she turns towards Steven, who nods in vehement agreement of Peridot’s strategy, his mouth stretched thin.

Sighing with frustration, she loosens her grip, recalling how even Garnet was barely able to match up with Jasper’s might. “Yeah, you’re right. She’d beat us into the dirt without Pearl or Sapphire.”

“Okay, so far we got three votes for retreat,” he says, holding up the appropriate number of digits as a visual. “Amethyst?”

In sync, the trio turn towards where the quartz just stood and find nothing but faint granules of recently upended dust filtering through a beam of sunlight. Both Peridot and Steven let out a fearful squeak at her absence.

“W-where is she?” the former Homeworld technician cries, craning her neck over the top of the rock formation to try and secure a visual.

“Up there!” Steven exclaims under his breath, pointing at a ridge a good ten feet above them that crosses from the arched entrance of this natural amphitheater all the way to the other side where Jasper stands, her back still turned to them.

Following the path of his index finger, Ruby catches a flash of purple, black and lavender stealthily advancing along the narrow rim towards the very soldier who reportedly poofed her with a single strike about a week back. The light sustaining her form nearly drains from all her limbs and rushes back to her gem. 

“Oh, shards no…”

Stars above, what the hell is her problem? she thinks, her mind riding in that narrow track between exacerbated vexation and dread. Does she have a death wish, or something?? Surely the last place a rational person would choose to run is directly into the arms of the Gem who clobbered them into a senseless cloud upon their last meeting. Surely a rational person would instead choose to retreat and regroup. However, as she glumly reflects upon the dour happenings of the past few days, Amethyst’s actions prove that she’s unable to think rationally about Jasper or any other kind of conflict too, right now. She’s been markedly sullen at everyone around her ever since she first got her butt whooped. Obsessed with her private training sprees. Emotionally stand-offish. Prone to making rash decisions, like letting her mouth run off at poor hapless Steven about matters that aren’t his fault, or slashing her whip right at people’s feet to push them away, or… or rushing directly towards Jasper in an enclosed space with little to no backup just because she’s desperate to show her up for the sake of her own self-worth, or whatever.

And Ruby gets it, to an extent. She understands how cripplingly powerless it can feel to be written off as ‘the weak one,’ as nothing but an expendable. She understands the vivid temptation to let one’s anger drive such antagonistic confrontations. However, she’d also like to believe that she carries enough self respect in this gem to not throw herself right on an enemy’s anvil. Whether or not Amethyst possesses the same level of restraint, though, is another question entirely. She flexes nervous, twitchy fingers at her side as she watches her dear friend creep further along the rim, pushing ever closer to what she fears will be her unquestionable demise. 

With the corrupted Gem’s racket still occupying Jasper’s undivided attention, Amethyst leaps from the cliff’s edge and into the clearing, pulling her whip from her gem in midair. The moment her toes touch the ground again, she slashes its barbed ends at the bars of the cage, right next to the quartz soldier’s hand. Jasper yanks her digits back. Her entire body snaps tense upon this disruption. Watching from behind their rocky cover, Ruby, Steven, and Peridot bite back the urge to gasp in shock. 

“HEY!” Amethyst yells, lowering on her haunches right behind her opponent. 

Now, there’s obviously no way to prove it without somehow obtaining intimate knowledge of the Gem’s headspace, but upon external observation, Ruby swears that this big, buff Beta Kindergarten quartz is masking surprise. The sentiment is visible in the alignment of her shoulders, lifted high and tight against her neck. It’s visible in her narrow stance, light years away from the proper form of a soldier expecting battle. Flexing her thick, dexterous fingers at her side, their enemy makes a blatant show of puffing out her chest before she turns to face her challenger, an almost predatory smile curving upwards on her lips as she regards her.

“You back away from her,” Amethyst hisses, nodding towards the Gem in the cage.

Jasper lets out a hearty chuckle. “Oh-hoh, what do we have here? You finally decide to crawl back for a rematch, runt?”

She clenches her jaw, tightening her fist around the pommel of her weapon. “That’s right. I’m back, and I’mma wipe you all over these cliffs!”

“Perfect,” her opponent practically purrs, cracking her knuckles in anticipation. “I’ve been needing a light warmup.”

Rose approves her mission without question, when she first brings her the idea. Of course she would, in retrospect— the hidden diamond she was. 

Garnet takes forty of her fellow soldiers and friends with her to the Beta Kindergarten. They don’t wield any weapons. These Gems they’re meeting with today are brand new, stepping into the light for the very first time. There’s no need to threaten them; all she desires is to peacefully talk, to introduce them to the concept of freedom, of choosing their own path beyond the Diamonds’ rule. 

At the time, all she wanted was to follow her beloved leader’s example and choose peace and harmony over subjugation and brutality.

But with the bitter truths they know now, and reflecting upon the horrid atrocities they themselves participated in amidst the war… despite Rose’s self-proclaimed ‘pacifism,’ despite the shaky justifications of their cause being different than Homeworld’s brand of violence… she’s increasingly unsure if any of them ever had a choice.

Tragically, it only takes mere seconds for the initial triumphant beats of Amethyst’s war against Jasper to devolve into a one-sided thrashing. 

With a mighty, almost frenzied yell, Amethyst moves one foot forward for counterbalance and slings the weighted, barbed tip of her weapon directly at her opponent’s face. Jasper catches it midair, mere inches from her gem. An arrogant smile paints her visage. After winding the whip’s end around her hand, she yanks its user towards her with a jaunty snap of her wrist, swings her in a wide arc, and slams her into the nearest cliff wall, blowing up a huge plume of pulverized rock and dust. It all happens so fast that the rest of the party has no time to react. As the rubble settles, Ruby finally spots her friend amidst the chaos, collapsed on hands and knees in the dirt. The poor Gem’s hands are nearly trembling as she vies to rise to her feet again, vies to stand her ground and keep fighting. 

There’s only one thing she knows for sure, watching all this: if hard-light was consumable rather than indelible, she would quite literally be chipping away at her knuckles with her teeth by now.

His expression blown wide with fear, Steven breaks their communal silence to holler Amethyst’s name. Hands flexing in and out of fists, he darts away from their hiding spot. And Ruby and Peridot tried to stop him, they really did— but damn, he’s just far too nimble for either of them to catch in time.

“Steven!” Peridot cries, trying and failing to grab his hand.

“Steven, no!” she yells, arms outstretched, as he sprints into the clearing— entirely blowing any remaining amount of cover the three of them might have had, placing his gem at Jasper’s mercy, and causing a thousand living nightmares to flood into her consciousness in but a millisecond. “Come back!”

“Wait! Wait,” he gasps, waving his arms wildly to catch the larger quartz’s attention as he passes into the center of this natural coliseum, firmly planting himself at Amethyst’s side. “Stop! We don’t need to do this!”

Giving a growl that would rival that of a corrupted Gem’s, Ruby clenches her fingers around thick coils of her hair at either side of her head and yanks. “Aughh, why does nobody listen to me when I’m short??” 

A faint trail of glowing embers marks a record of her path as she leaves Peridot by their rocky outcropping and storms right into the open after him. Oh, hoh, hoh— that boy can disobey her clear, simple orders all he wants, but in his infinite folly he’s forgetting one very important fact: rubies are stubborn Gems. And she’ll fight to protect him from the crossfire of Jasper’s hubris and Amethyst’s self-destruction even if that means braving her deepest terrors to run out there and drag him back to safety herself.

(Ideally, she’d be able to drag Amethyst with her out of the thunderdome as well, but she’s also quite the stubborn one. Also, she might slash her whip at her again. So try as she may, that’s not likely to happen.)

Ruby strides towards the middle of the clearing and defiantly plants her feet in the sterile soil right in front of Steven. She summons her gauntlets, her features twisting into a scowl. “Stand down and let them go!” she shouts up at that bulky orange quartz with all the Garnet-like confidence she can muster. “This is not a Homeworld controlled planet anymore!”

“Steven, Ruby, get out of here!” Amethyst hisses under her breath, her battle-ready stance solidifying with a strange mixture of apprehension and anger as she regards the two of them.

“No!” she shoots back, tugging at her arm. “Come on, you know I can’t just leave you here.”

Jasper’s molten amber eyes narrow, her steely gaze colliding right into her.

“You,” she says, enunciated as sharp as a dagger. “One half of that vile war machine.”

“War machine?!” Steven cries, distraught by the very implication. “Garnet’s not a war machine! She fuses for love!”

“Yeah!” Ruby jabs her fist in the air loud and proud.

The Homeworld warrior scoffs, obviously not impressed by their daring display of solidarity. She folds her arms solid across the Yellow Diamond insignia emblazoned upon her chest and steps closer to address her head on. “And where’s this love now?” she spits, stooping to her level in a brazen show of mockery.

And despite the faint, triumphant memories of her last incursion with this quartz (well… Garnet’s last incursion), she can’t help but cower in her presence, can’t help but crumble like the deficient sandstone of this very kindergarten under the cruel, personalized precision of those blunt words. Because… she’s right. Because that’s the whole problem, the pulsing heart of life’s cruel game. Fusion offered her a tantalizing taste of freedom— a glimpse of a reality where, together, a lowly guard and her sapphire could achieve literally anything through the strength of their love!— but that world feels like nothing more but an unobtainable mirage now. She’s absolutely useless on her own, just some pathetic waste of resources! No authority, no power, no wisdom of foresight— she brings nothing to the Crystal Gems’ cause. She never did. It was always her. Tears bead at her widening eyes, her gauntleted fists already beginning to tremble at her sides. 

“I-I…”

“Where’s any of your power now?” Jasper continues as she raises back to her full height, lifting both open hands towards the empty, cloud-streaked skies. She throws her head back as she offers them all a bright, boastful chuckle. “To think I used to view you traitors as a threat, but now even your disgraceful cause is falling apart, isn’t it… Rose?”

Still standing a step behind her, Steven’s immediate reply brims with tones of frustration. “I’m not—”

“But you’re wrong!” a high, familiar voice calls out with pressing urgency from behind them all. 

This whole messy confrontation screeches to a halt as everyone turns to gape at the lone Gem poking her head out above the rocky outcropping. Peridot gasps at the sudden influx of attention, and hastily ducks for cover again. 

“What are YOU doing here?” Jasper growls with annoyance, grinding one of her feet in the dirt as if inwardly hoping she could shift the very earth they stand on and finally gain the advantage of surprise once more.

“I-I…” the green Gem stammers, slowly creeping out from her hiding spot, summoning newfound confidence as she lays her eyes on each and every one of her friends. “I’m here because our cause hasn’t fallen apart! We live on Earth to be free, to find a completely different purpose, to learn new things about ourselves. Like how I can bend metal to my bidding!” she exclaims, tossing enthusiastic fists into the air.

On the cliff face over twenty feet away, a skinny length of metal from one of the injector’s legs slips from the device, falls straight down, and noisily clatters as it collides against the rocky soil. Amethyst facepalms. Meanwhile, Jasper appears so underwhelmed by this display that under any other circumstance, her glazed-over expression might be comedic.

Peridot flashes a brief scowl at her botched handiwork. “And sure,” she shrugs, nodding towards that shard of metal, “nothing’s ever perfect here, but together, we work to help and support each other, just like we’re supporting Amethyst now. Isn’t that kind of freedom something worth fighting for?”

A few beats pass as the heart of this proclamation sinks in, the ticking seconds seeing Steven beam in pride at his friend’s progression since the beginning of her stay on Earth, and Jasper’s features scrunch inwards in an almost sour manner. Threading between the stifling roots of her own despair, even Ruby herself can’t help but feel a little uplifted by this hopeful sentiment. It’s a well-timed salve to an old burn, a naive yet ultimately truthful promise of lighthearted days to come. After all, hasn’t her time as a Crystal Gem taught her by now that no circumstance is permanent? That a single unifying cause can collapse empires like a wildfire, can continually reshape one’s entire understanding of existence? Her gauntleted hands shift at her side as a new spark of timid confidence ignites at her core. What was she thinking, letting this brute of a quartz tower over her and define the very pillars of her own story? She’s better than this. For the very sake of her friends she has to be!

But alas, before this newfound bravery can see its hour of triumph on this secluded battlefield, she finds herself once again cast aside by one of the very friends she’s vying to protect.

Amethyst growls in frustration at their continued presence, and summons her weapon. “UGH, you GUYS!” She slashes its barbed tips against the cliff face right above Peridot, not close enough to hit her, but certainly with enough force that it spooks her into diving behind the low rock formation again. Scowling, she then turns and plucks an actively protesting Steven right off the ground. “Get out of here!” she yells, tossing him back towards the clearing’s entrance. “This isn’t your fight!”

Ruby gives a sharp yelp as she just barely leaps backwards to dodge the business end of her whip, which swings low in a vain attempt to tangle up her feet. “Hey—!”

“It’s just you and me, Jasper,” the purple quartz breathes heavy, and abruptly whirls around to jab her finger towards her opponent. “ONE-ON-ONE!”

A consenting smirk riding over her lips, the taller Gem summons her ramming helmet in a glittering flash of light.

The mission is— in the terms of the brave humans they sometimes fight alongside— a bloodbath. 

When they first warped in, Garnet only expected to find a small handful of disoriented jaspers, citrines, and carnelians roaming about. Gems they could talk to. Gems they could reason with, just as Rose reasoned with her fellow quartzes at the very start of this bold rebellion. Instead, what emerges soon after their arrival is more shocking and unpredictable than any future Garnet could’ve ever visualized.

Bursting from the very heart of this slapdash, rushed Kindergarten, despite every single locational and structural disadvantage this place stacks against one’s favor, is Her.

The strongest, most perfectly formed jasper she’s ever laid eyes on. She’s seven feet tall, built as solid as diamond, her flawlessly faceted gemstone gleaming bright and proud in the rising sun. She wastes no time in following the miserable orders the Great Diamond Authority cruelly embedded deep within her soul, immediately calling the hundreds of scattered and confused off-color Gems surrounding her to action.

Garnet and her squadron simply don’t have enough time to intervene, to try and settle this skirmish halfway peacefully. They don’t have the numbers. 

Twenty three Crystal Gems are shattered that day. Numerous more on both sides are cracked or poofed.

And yet one of the greatest tragedies, in her mind… is that these emergent Gems never got a chance to consider any purpose beyond their assigned station. Never got a chance to glimpse the promise of their own freedom. 

Everything happened so fast. 

She took this place for granted— thanks to her own preconceived notions about the kinds of Gems that could emerge here, utterly failed to foresee this potential turn of events— and in the end it cost lives. Both those of her fellow Crystal Gems, her friends… and those of the Beta quartzes she failed to save from Homeworld’s damaging influence.

That night, as she bitterly weeps for the recovered shards of the beloved they lost, she clenches her gauntleted fists tight around her gemstones and vows to never let such a harrowing tragedy escape her vision again. No more.

A leader like her is not allowed to fail.

With a mighty roar rivaling that of a lion, Amethyst stamps her leading foot to the ground to center her balance and rears her weapon-wielding arm back, wholly intending to defend her pride from this boorish bully. The first and second slashes are fruitful, one striking Jasper in the face, and the next hitting her chest with such intense force that it slams her into the cliff wall a few feet back. Ruby can’t help but dread the litany of unknown possibilities haunting their future as she watches, though, powerless in her lack of second sight to influence their present. Could Amethyst win this fight? Sure. There’s gotta be at least one river of time where that occurs, where Jasper is so wrapped up within that facade of insufferable hubris that she fails to take her seriously as an opponent and pays the price. But on the other hand, she senses so many chinks in Amethyst’s armor that she can’t help but fear the likelihood of the opposite instead. She’s blinded by her anger, unable to consider consequence rationally. Her form in battle— compared to her usual performance— is sloppy, as if she’s throwing herself at this fight with such an explosion of raw, tangled emotion that her years of training and refinement have all but melted away within the confines of this inferno. Her fingers are trembling as she tightens her grasp on the whip’s pommel.

Or, to put a long story short, Ruby may not possess the gift of Sapphire’s future vision, but she has more than enough experience on patrol and on the battlefield to recognize a soldier who is woefully unprepared for a fight. Something terrible is about to happen, she can just feel it.

“Be careful!” she cries, cupping her hands around her mouth.

“It’s fine, she’s totally rocking this!” Steven says with a huge grin, seeming uncharacteristically calm given the circumstances. He whoops, and punches his fist in the air. “Go Amethyst!”

Ruby and Peridot briefly match eyes, the noted concern in their gazes pointing towards the fact that their opinions match right now. They both think that Amethyst’s insistence to fight is reckless and naive. In retrospect, it makes sense that Peridot would agree with her. She spent a lot of time cohabiting with Jasper on their journey to Earth, so she’s bound to be well aware of her fundamental nature.

But given the shorter quartz’s tunnel vision, she’s certain that any of their valid concerns would fall upon deaf ears in this present juncture.

“Who’s weak now, huh?” Amethyst spits from across the clearing, flicking her wrist to activate the trio of spiked, circular flail weights at the ends of her whip. With a holler, she swings her leading arm back and around to build up momentum and then slashes at Jasper’s chest three times in succession. The last hit comes with enough force to push her backwards in the dirt a few feet. “Who’s powerless NOW?!”

Then, just as Ruby fearfully predicted, the winds shift. 

The firestorm doubles back upon them, Jasper merely swatting the flail ends away like they were nothing more but a momentary nuisance. Her expression narrows into a scowl. Emergent shock mingles alongside the dark cloud of Amethyst’s anger like wayward lightning bolts as she growls in frustration, the side-swept fringe of her hair shadowing her features. In retaliation she summons a second whip and immediately slashes them both against the soil, endowing them with a crackling, purple-tinged energy, almost a fire of her own making. She tucks into a ball and literally hurls herself at the quartz warrior, her form only recognizable in the heat of that moment via a dazzling blaze of light.

The resulting collision knocks up so much dirt and smoke that Ruby has to throw her small body in front of Steven’s to shield him from the worst of the debris. 

When the thick curtains of dust finally part, the consequences of this overly-impulsive move are revealed. Jasper still stands proud and tall, her mettle unaffected by this attempted show of strength. Barely a scuff even marrs her uniform. Meanwhile, Amethyst lays hunched over on hands and knees, hacking up fragmented remnants of sandstone she likely swallowed amidst the impact. (Alas, that’s the price she pays for choosing to always reform with a semi-operational digestive system.)

“Is it sinking in yet?” Jasper queries pointedly, advancing towards the trembling Gem on the ground.

Amethyst is so exhausted she can’t even muster the strength to respond, her arms quivering beneath her as she vies to hold up the simulated weight of her hard-light form.

Her foe roughly kicks her in the chest, her foot striking mere inches under her gem. Ruby cringes at the shallow huff of distress that this hit elicits from her, and at Steven’s resulting cries of fear. 

“It doesn’t matter how long or hard you fight,” Jasper boasts, her imposing figure hovering like a bad omen over her quartz sibling’s, “because I’ll always be stronger! Runts like you never had a chance. Runts like you are worthless.”

Angrily, Ruby grinds her teeth together, cradling the vulnerable gemstone on her hand. 

Worthless.

Worthless.

Who the hell does this square hunk of stone think she is, slinging such heavy-handed words around like the blunt end of a mallet?

“Get your worthless, sorry forms back in formation!” wretched old Condor Agate used to scream at her and the others in her squad, back when she spent eternity guarding empty corridors, back before she was reassigned to Sapphire’s guard. “You’re an embarrassment to your commanding agates, all of you!”

Ruby growls, finding her resolve. That’s it. She has to take action. She can’t bear to stand at the sidelines gripped in fear while some bully is beating her friend into the ground, both physically and emotionally. She can’t bear for Amethyst to fall prey to the same type of unwavering torment she herself experienced all those years ago on Homeworld, torment that utterly deformed her sense of self-worth until recognizing any ounce of good in herself became a gargantuan, near-impossible task. Admittedly, she still hasn’t healed from those days. Not entirely. Sometimes she’s unsure she ever will. But it’s her duty to put an end to this, to what’s happening in the here and now. After all, what’s the point of being a Crystal Gem if you don’t look after the people you love?

“We have to separate them,” she says firmly, turning towards Steven and Peridot. “She’s gonna get clobbered!”

The former kindergartener’s expression warps to despair under her visor. “But how? She doesn’t even want us to be here! And none of us are strong enough to face Jasper…”

“Could we make a distraction?” Steven suggests, his voice tinged with the same sort of urgency she feels thrumming like a frantic drum line at the depths of her core.

Humming in thought, Ruby considers the status quo. To no success, she attempts to ignore her friends’ expectant gazes, falling upon her exactly like all those fellow rebellion soldiers used to look at Garnet… trusting her as their de facto leader. But she’s no leader, far from it. Garnet would barely have to think before coming up with a genius, foolproof plan, but she’s going into everything blind. She can’t weigh out potential consequences before rushing into action. She has no ability to pinpoint the most ideal outcome and work backwards from there. With all this in mind, it’s really no wonder that Garnet passed command of the group to Pearl instead of her. At least Pearl has experience leading missions solo.

And yet desperate times call for desperate measures.

She scans their surroundings for inspiration, considering what options may be open to them. At this point there’s no time to double back to the barn or the temple for reinforcements. (And she doubts Lapis would care to so much as match eyes with Jasper, anyways.) One or more of them could always charge into the fray to attempt and break up this small skirmish by force, but that would risk their safety, too. The last thing she wants is to knowingly throw her friends into harm’s way. No, the best option would be breaking the two quartzes up using something in their immediate environment, something large and heavy but capable of being quickly moved, something like…

Her eyes snap wide. “That injector!” she whispers excitedly, pointing to the hulking piece of junked equipment precariously hanging from the cliff wall, only stabilized by a few legs that still penetrate the cracked sandstone. “It’s right above them. If we knocked it down, then maybe…”

Peridot flashes a hopeful smile, and nods.

“We’re on it,” Steven says, summoning his shield. The two of them glance at each other, perhaps silently coordinating their plan, and then leap into action.  

“Metal powers activate!” she exclaims, and throws her hands up in the direction of that rusted injector. 

Subtly but noticeable, its legs begin to shift and creak under the force of her ferrokinesis, loosening from the eroding stone. Licking his lips, Steven aims his weapon and hurls. It strikes the device directly at its center, clanging against solid metal. The injector wobbles for a moment, its delicate balance obviously destabilized by this force, and then begins to slide free from the porous kindergarten wall. One still-impacted leg snaps under the torque as the cylinder’s immense weight plummets towards the ground.

“Heads up!” Steven calls out, causing a bemused Jasper to flick her gaze skyward, towards the falling object staining the soil with an ever-growing shadow.

The junky old injector collides into the ground with the force of a small explosion, flinging dirt a good ten feet into the air and resolutely separating the two quartzes. But Ruby barely has time to high five Peridot and celebrate their success before the kid she’s supposed to be keeping safe darts off into the clearing once more. She hisses a small curse under her breath. Drat, of course he’d run straight to Amethyst’s side again at his first opportunity! She should’ve seen that coming a whole star system away. At least Jasper’s been temporarily marooned on the other side of that busted Gem tech, though.

The real question is, for how long? 

Nibbling at her lip, she sprints towards the edge of the injector to keep a watchful eye on their opponent as Steven attempts to have a mid-battlefield heart-to-heart. (At least, that’s what she assumes he’s doing. Admittedly, they kinda failed to hammer out the fine details of their plan before sprinting into action. Her fault.) At first glimpse it seems the impact’s force has effortlessly knocked Jasper clear off her feet. She seems slightly dazed, but beyond that remains unscathed. Only time will tell if this strategy was a beneficial one. Briefly turning back towards the group, Ruby watches Steven crouch down next to Amethyst. She’s muttering something to him— her expression raw with fresh tears— but her words are far too hushed to make out. Whatever she shares, however, it’s clearly enough to elicit a strong emotional reaction from her companion.

“No, no!”  he pleads, hurt painting his features. “My mom- Rose, she doesn’t matter. Whatever Jasper thinks doesn’t matter. She's the only one who thinks you should be like her!”

“But—”

“Stop trying to be like Jasper. You're nothing like Jasper! You're like me!”

“But even you’re different!” she explodes at first, but any anger present in her form immediately evaporates into something more innately hesitant, more self-conscious. Her fingers claw thick troughs into the reddened soil as she curls them inwards. “I’m not like you at all, I’m not some all-powerful di—”

“No, that’s not the point!” he interrupts, tears of his own budding at the corners of his eyes. “You’re like me because we’re both not like anybody. And yeah, it sucks. Everyone always expects us to be someone we’re not, but you know what? At least I've always got you. And you've got me! So stop leaving me out of this!”

Slowly pushing herself to her feet behind the junked injector, Jasper groans, her voice strained with newfound exhaustion Ruby never imagined she possessed. 

“Y’guys, she’s getting up!” she calls out to her friends behind her, equally a warning as it is a call to action. After all, if this bold stunt finally managed to crack through the first layer of their opponent’s armor, then they might genuinely stand a chance now.

She’ll never know if they heard her, though— because in the same split second she turns back to check on them, the now embracing pair is engulfed in a surge of blinding white light.

Even in the absence of a ruby soldier’s inner fire, everything turns to smoke.

Chapter Text

The smoke obscures everything at first, filling this barren crack in the planet’s crust to its brim. Firmly engulfed within this plume, Ruby’s surroundings are electrified with an air of static uncertainty, an uncertainty so stark that— riding upon the wake of it— the very potential of Garnet’s future vision itself would’ve surely been rendered null and void. After all, as she’s personally experienced, such power of foresight is never completely immune to lapses in accuracy upon the advent of unexpected happenings. And she’s pretty damn certain that this… that instantly familiar warm glow she spotted, wholly enveloping Steven and Amethyst’s forms as they embraced… would count as unexpected.

Her jaw drops as a tall figure emerges from between currents of receding smoke, light pink freckles dusting their shoulders and cheeks like glistening constellations. Chocolate brown gemstones are visible upon their chest and the center of their large belly, one circular and the other irregularly pentagonal. They proudly brandish Amethyst’s leggings and Steven’s star— the salmon pink shirt having stretched into a strappy crop-top across their broad upper body. Most notably though, they appear to have three arms, two of them linked at the elbow and able to bend freely from the other. As the fusion shifts upon their heels, a thick fringe of wavy dark hair falls in front of one of their eyes… eyes which are perpetually glowing with the very same pink irises and diamond pupils Steven exhibits whenever he’s using his powers, and blown wide with shock as they attempt to process the distinct meaning of their existence for the very first time.

And boy oh boy, does Ruby sure understand that feeling. Going off of the narratives she always hears from humans, the experience of two Gems’ first dance and synchronization is somewhat akin to a baby learning to walk. It’s all untested, all brand new. And despite any amount of confusion or trepidation one might face in such a circumstance, no one else in all the universe is more equipped than you to take those first steps.

Regardless, the fusion moves right past their initial surprise to produce the most genuine, star-bright grin Ruby’s seen all week, and triumphantly pumps all three fists in the air. “What a beautiful day!” they proclaim.

Appearing suitably annoyed by their sudden attendance in this spar, their Beta kindergarten opponent harshly grinds their right foot into the soil, their face screwing into a sour grimace as they demand to know who this new Gem is supposed to be.

Now, if either one of them— Amethyst or Steven— were facing this mighty quartz’s questioning individually, Ruby’s sure they’d be doomed to crumble under the pressure. After all, Steven’s only a child, and Amethyst is cripplingly insecure. But the inherent magic of fusion is that the combination of two or more Gems is always stronger than the sum of their parts. They’re a physical embodiment of the bond held between each other, of their camaraderie and affection and love. And it’s that very love… that inner strength and belief in one other, regardless of circumstance… that blossoms into a brand new facet of existence, given life through the sheer depth of their connection.

It’s for this reason this fusion is capable of brushing off the ferocity of Jasper’s words like they’re nothing but crumbling granules of sandstone dirtying their shirt. Brimming with a renewed lease of confidence, they summon their weapons, make a grand show of fusing them into one, and proudly name themself Smoky Quartz.

“Wait— has Steven ever fused with one of you before?” Peridot asks her with burning curiosity, her expression still partially frozen in a dumbfounded little ‘o.’

“With his friend, yes— but never with a Gem,” Ruby says, her chest puffing out with considerable pride. “This is his first time!” Then, cupping her mouth with her hands, and unable to dampen that intense vindictive streak she currently harbors against their foe: “Go get her, Smoky! Make her regret she ever formed!”

The fusion serves up a snappy finger gun with their unladen hand. “You got it! One party trick coming right up…”

Flashing the two of them an almost impish smirk, Smoky doesn’t waste a single second. Immediately following a groan worthy pun about yo-yos, they catapult their weapon— a double shield linked on a central axel and tethered to Amethyst’s whip— high into the sky and back down upon Jasper, hitting her thrice in the face and gut and knocking her a few steps back.

Peridot lets out a gleeful peel of laughter as she watches this unbelievable turn of their tides, clutching a hand to her heaving chest.

Seething red, Jasper gains her bearings upon her feet once more and charges towards them with the flat of her helmet barred.

Smoky’s eyes flare wide with urgency. “Wha-oh!”

They artfully cartwheel out of the way, and manage a perfect side dodge as their opponent attempts to sling her fist directly into their face.

It’s glorious form. Absolutely impeccable by any means of assessment. In truth, Ruby thinks the odds have never been so steeply tipped in their favor while fighting against this stubborn, infuriating Homeworld Gem. So why does she still find herself powerless to quell that oh-so-familiar panic rising like coastal storm surge within her core? Why can’t she dispel the shadowy reminder of all the terrifying what-ifs that taunt her day-in and day-out, possibilities she’s unable to sort through on her own, possibilities she’s unable to truly see?

Because without Sapphire, Ruby’s just a ruby. She’s nothing, no one. It doesn’t matter how far she runs from her lowly Homeworld origins; she’ll never erase the damning, bitter fact that Gems like her were created to be replaced. And stars, everyone keeps looking to her as a leader, but she doesn’t know what she’s doing at all! Her cut of Gem wasn’t built for leadership. She didn’t come here hungering for a fight! She only followed the others to this shards-forsaken wasteland of a kindergarten because she wanted to protect them, and look at all the good that brought: an army of caged, corrupted Gems guarded by an enemy she’s grown too timid to face head-on, even though that’s literally the entire point of her!

Just, ugh—!

What a useless protector she makes.

…But maybe she’s enough to protect at least one of them. After all, her role as one of Sapphire’s guardians wasn’t all fighting and punching. The other rubies and her would also spend time discussing strategy, overseeing the whereabouts of their assignment, and keeping an eye on their immediate environment in case they need to act upon any abrupt predictions from Her Clarity. And in such moments of peril, their most important duty was to escort their assignment to a safe distance. It’s a fact of life that’s deceptively easy for a soldier like her to forget.

So, is that it, then?

Is that her purpose in this scenario?

Should she place her focus on ushering Peridot away from this battle, instead of becoming an active participant?

(Or is she just mining for ways to excuse the coward’s way out?)

Outright quivering in her boots, Ruby grabs Peridot by the arm and begins to pull her away from the heart of this battle. Her friend, however, tugs back in overt resistance.

“Wait— we can’t leave yet, I can fight!” she cries, jabbing her pointer towards the iron bars caging one of the corrupted quartzes within the excavated cliffside. “I’ve got my metal powers!”

Sweat beads on her forehead as she flushes, sinking ever deeper into the brambles of her shame. “But I, uh- I just think Smoky’s got it handled, y’know? Wouldn’t wanna get in their way, or nothin’…”

“Are you kidding?? They’re brawling against Jasper! They can use all the help they can get!”

With zero warning whatsoever, the business end of their fusion friend’s yo-yo zips towards their heads, only narrowly leaving them time to duck. They watch with slack-jawed amazement as Smoky utilizes their weapon’s stored inertia to securely wind the cord around Jasper’s torso and launch them clear into the sky. Gravity’s most primal nature dictates that what goes up must always come down, however, because mere seconds later the Homeworld Gem plummets into the chalky ground so hard that she leaves behind a small crater. A plume of rusty brown dust explodes from the collision point, entirely engulfing Ruby and Peridot.

The two of them cough as the powdery soil settles once more and visibility is restored.

“On second thought,” the former kindergartener proclaims as she brushes the debris off her unitard, “perhaps we should give them some room.”

She nods, grabbing her by the hand once more and leading her up the path to safety. Perfect, one friend protected. And as an added bonus, they can stand on the raised shelf at the far edge of this natural amphitheater (the one Amethyst treaded across before getting the sneak on Jasper a few minutes ago) and still have a clear sight of the battle.

…A battle which, going off her years of combat experience and her intimate knowledge of the parties involved, just might roll to a victorious end for Smoky in the near future. For the obvious reasons she can’t offer this prediction with any degree of confidence, but regardless, its likelihood seems to be surging skywards with each and every failed retaliating strike Jasper attempts. She’s panicking, Ruby can tell. That stubborn, reputation-obsessed Gem can attempt to hide it all she likes, but if one knows what to look for the signs are obvious. Her eyes are blown as wide as her own exit hole as she scries her surroundings for any possible advantage, and her stance has grown awkward and stiff— the very image of a traditionally offensive fighter who has been forced to assume defensive strategies for the first time in her existence.

Which is to say, the brute’s been violently knocked out of her comfort zone.

Fuming with obstinate desperation, Jasper flicks the dirt off her uniform with the back of her hand and throws herself into a viciously fast spin dash, molten bright embers trailing behind as she surges straight towards Smoky Quartz. Thankfully, the fusion sees this potential strike coming a mile away. Licking their lips, they launch their yo-yo so that its body wraps around a narrow outcropping of stone jutting out from the cliffs above them. The weapon grips the dense rock like a grappling hook. They whoop in well-earned victory, swinging up and over Jasper’s attack as effortlessly as a petal dancing on the wind.

Helpless to halt her momentum, the Beta Kindergarten quartz slams headfirst into the far cliff wall. Despite her deep-set animosity towards her Ruby can’t help but cringe at the awful clash of the impact, clutching her own vulnerable gem ever tighter within her palm. Chaos explodes. Hand-dug prisons are torn apart. This forsaken crack in the Earth is filled with clamoring footsteps once more as Jasper’s corrupted Gems claim their long-stolen freedom, fleeing in every direction.

“No!” the soldier hollers, arm outstretched as she clambers to her knees. “My army!”

Smoky lands on the ground in a sturdy crouch a few feet away. “You ready to chill out, yet?” they ask with slitted eyes, Ruby sensing a hint of Amethyst’s bitter anger seeping into their otherwise affable demeanor. “Or d’ya need another few rounds?”

Jasper falls to her hands, seemingly too exhausted to push herself to her full height at this time. Breathing heavy, she lets out a wry peal of laughter, a sound that quickly warps and bends into an emotion that’s as unrecognizable as it is unnerving as she drags her fingers inwards, scouring thick gouges in the rusty soil.

“Jaspers… never… give… up,” she huffs, her orange irises glowing like the rejuvenating embers of a rebounding wildfire as she tilts her face up to regard them head-on.

And this is where the winds of fate begin to shift.

The embers catch.

The dry brush underfoot erupts into a violent rush of flame.

Jasper quickly averts her eyes from Smoky, her wanting gaze falling upon the lone cage still left intact, its metal bars not destroyed by her prior collision with the wall. Within… stands the last Gem of her corrupted army, roaring in clear displeasure at the frenzy of commotion occurring outside. The quartz delivers a devious, knowing smirk as they slide their zealous glance away from that captive Gem and back to Smoky.

Ruby hates to admit it, but she knows exactly what she’s planning. She’s already seen this type of emotion flit across Jasper’s features before, months back when she emerged from the burning rubble of her ship— humiliated by her defeat at the hands of a being she deemed impure— and caught a fleeing Lazuli by the wrist. She’s seen it from Pearl, who— feeling just as inadequate and small as she herself does this very second— ultimately stumbled under the pressure and made one of the biggest mistakes of her whole life. Hell, Ruby’s experienced this desire herself, albeit in a far different context… lovely and love-sick amidst Sapphire’s abrupt departure, briefly entertaining a fleeting, selfish thought that she dares not act upon.

Fusion-lust.

Jasper intends to force a fusion with the last corrupted quartz still held captive in her prison.

She grits her teeth, thousands upon thousands of possible futures full of her own cowardice and hesitation burning to blackened cinders under the heat of her fury. Fusion is special. Fusion is sacred! It’s like… a feeling brought to life, a spellbinding rush of togetherness, the mystifying sensation of becoming someone who— on the metaphoric scale of things— must’ve burst into some intangible form of existence the very moment a fusion’s partners first met. Despite whatever twisted rhetoric Homeworld may spew to the Gems chained under its rule, fusion definitely isn’t meant to be a means of increasing one’s power. It isn’t meant to be used as a mode of control or coercion. And stars above, she’ll be damned if she lets anyone abuse this special type of relationship on her planet.

No more hiding.

No more hesitation.

The only soul in this entire Kindergarten who can put an end to this is her.

“Peridot!” she calls, grasping her friend by the shoulders to capture her full attention. “There’s no time to explain, but I have a plan. When I call for you, use your metal powers to break open that last cage, right down there!”

Peridot’s expression— halfway obscured behind her tinted visor— spins with ample confusion amidst the abruptness of this request. “B-but I thought we were spectating!”

Ruby bites at her lip, averting her nervous gaze for just a moment, just long enough to contemplate all the impulsive choices that have led her to the edge of this impossibly steep precipice. All of her insecurity, her terror, her doubt. Every timid half-step forwards, inevitably followed by a full step back. In many ways, she feels as if she hasn’t committed to a single fearless act since the day she pushed her love out of a rebel’s striking range and singlehandedly changed the entire course of reality. Where’d that Ruby go? The Ruby who dares to create ripples with every fiery footfall?

And most importantly— for the good of her planet, for the good of her family— can she become that Gem again?

“I can’t just watch…” she admits, clenching her fists at her side. “Not anymore. I’m going in.”

Steeling herself for the jump, she lowers to her haunches, nervously tapping her fingers against her gem-less palm.

“This is for you, Sapphy,” she whispers to herself, and then surges upwards into a sprint.

Her toes leave the ground right at the rocky shelf’s edge.

Hollering in furious dissent, the squat Gem practically soars over the Homeworld-aligned quartz thanks to the subtle updrafts produced by the waves of flame fanning out from her feet. She barely has time to process the confusion wresting control of Jasper’s otherwise confident countenance— or the wide, knowing grin Smoky levels towards her— as she triumphantly lands upon the battlefield and sets her plan roaring into motion.

Ruby clutches her gem tight within her grasp (a long-held defensive habit she can never seem to shake), and bursts into a fiery sprint around her foe. The intense friction and heat only feeds the white hot blaze licking up around her feet as she traces a full circle around Jasper, locking her securely within a cage of fire. This ring won’t last forever, but it’s good enough as a distraction for what comes next.

“Peridot, now!” she shouts, desperately hoping her friend can hear her over the untamed roar of the inferno she’s generating… desperately hoping her new metal powers work this time and help her set that poor corrupted Gem free.

But despite the crushing anxiety of all these unknowns, she doesn’t dare take her eyes off her foe as she continues to spiral around her, pushing the scorching walls of this prison ever inwards. She doesn’t dare let up her pace, doesn’t dare allow Jasper even an inch of leeway to escape. The gemstone inlaid within her palm pulsates with an intense thrum of energy, burning brighter than it has her entire five thousand nine hundred years of existence. A breathless, lilting laugh slips from between her lips, tinged with tones of relief and sheer, boundless exhilaration. So this is what true bravery feels like, true power. This is what it feels like to genuinely be a Crystal Gem— not merely by proxy of the fusion she forms, but as her own person, too.

Far beyond her inferno’s ceaseless thrum, she can make out the rusty moans of bending metal… the victorious roar of the last corrupted quartz as it pushes free from its damaged cage and bolts away from this cursed amphitheater. She lets out a whoop of delight, pumping her fists to the sky.

And then her gambit falls apart.

Jasper’s own fist connects with her cheek before Smoky can even holler her name in warning, the impact knocking her clear out of her spiraling sprint and face first into the chalky soil underfoot. She hacks and coughs lying there amidst the resultant plume of dust, vying with every facet of her being not to crumple under the dawning prospect of having to defend herself in solo combat. Her jaw aches, but not enough to dampen her resolve. Not now. Not yet. Instead— standing stubbornly to her feet— she grits her teeth, summons her gauntlets, and swings back.

The mighty kindergarten quartz ducks effortlessly. She grins, the midday sun glinting off the edge of her helm’s visor, and then positions herself for the final strike.

It’s not until the reddened dust settles and they watch her gem plummet helplessly to the ground, vulnerable and inert, that the sobering reality of what’s just happened fully rears its ugly head in their mind.

“Ruby!” Smoky yells, eyes blown as wide as the central axel of their yo-yo. A spike of energizing panic rushes into their extremities. They snap to dissipate their weapon, cutting down on excess weight, and then— pumping all three arms back and forth like a world class runner— break into a sprint.

Milliseconds stretch into a daunting infinity, that ruby red gem so rudely abandoned to the soil now the sole object populating the crosshairs of their vision.

They dive for it.

But they never reach their target. They’re unfocused, unbalanced, utterly failing to look beyond those infernal crosshairs.

Just as Ruby’s gemstone enters their reach, a supersonic burst of white-hot energy slams into their side, knocking the wind right out of their lungs. Smoky yelps in alarm as they’re launched midway across the clearing. They smash into the nearest cliff face so hard that chunks of sandstone shatter under their force, crumbling into fragments upon the ground. Heaving for breath against the wall— their attention now cycling between Peridot’s futile attempts at perfecting her ferrokinesis, the gem abandoned amidst the dirt a good thirty feet away, and the active threat closing further in to them with every heartbeat they dawdle— Smoky bares their fists and prepares to lower into defensive once more.

Jasper barks in laughter as she advances, voice loud and bombastic in its timbre.

Somehow, time itself seems to slow in the face of their distress.

Oh no, no, no, no, no, all of this is my fault, an unstable corner of their mind warbles as they dodge her first punches, the thought cutting right through the dull thrum of hard light and organic adrenaline coursing through parallel veins side by side, a sensation that’s curiously mundane to part of them, and yet novel to the other.

Can it, Smoky! they cut right back, stubbornly gripping to the promise of their combined strength and scrappy know-how like a double braided lifeline. This is no time to wallow in self pity!

B-but it’s true! I ruin everything!

No you don’t!

In a wild feat of dexterity, they flip away from Jasper’s reach, landing in a low, sturdy crouch. Their head burns with a throbbing intensity, right behind the eyes. Their limbs are filled with prickling static. Dizzy… so dizzy. It’s agonizing, it’s exhausting, it— it feels like they’re one wrong step from violently splitting in two. They grimace, grinding their teeth together. Panting heavy, with beads of sweat dripping from their forehead, they summon their weapon once more and use their third arm to direct its trajectory as they sling it towards the quartz with a mighty yell, intending to trip her up with its thick cord.

Hnng- please, you gotta cut it out, man, you gotta synchronize!

Jasper ducks under the wide arc of their yo-yo and then rears back to strike.

NO! Don’t you see?? I’m making us weaker, I forced you all to come here, I sparked all this unrest, it’s me who let Bismuth out of that bubble, I’M the reason the Crystal Gems are falling apart in the first place, it’s me! It’s all me! And like… at least if Rose were still here instead, t-then maybe—

STEVEN, fusions can’t take this much instability! If we can’t manage to pull ourselves together we’re gonna—

The flat plane of Jasper’s battering helmet gleams under the sun’s overbearing influence as she swings this deadly weapon forward, her whole upper body following the motion in amplification of her might. Smoky’s form seizes up in her shadow, confidence wavering, glitching and powerless as they watch their fateful downfall threatening to crash right through their skull their gem, Bismuth’s breaking point smashes into the center facet of their gem with an ear splitting crack and then they’re screaming, one (or both?) of them are screaming in pain, t-they’ve fragmented, two codependent bodies wrenched apart, maybe dying NO HE’S SAFE he’s unhurt but h-he’s COLD, he’s unconscious, unwhole, my fault MY FAULT I—

(MAX OUTPUT EXCEEDED IN steven.CORE)

(FATAL ERROR DETECTED)

(s̳͈̪͚͂́̌̔̀͛̉͢y̧̖̲̥͖̋̋̄̇͑́̐ş̷͖̬̪̳̘̣͒̓̄̾͑̓̀̔̂̕ṭ̡̖̖͍͔̌͂͗̋̿̋̀͊̀̿ͅé͉̲̯͙̍͒̾̀́́́͢m̗͖͙̺͇̮̲̜̓̆̅̋́̀̑͠/̨̳̜̱̗͇̝̙͚͋̔̆̕͟͡R̹̼̼̼̃̐̓͛̀͛̆̐̂̾͢Ẻ̸̡͕̼̭͍̹̣̰̔́̍̕͜Ḇ̵̧͚̣̲̟͍͚̺̅̃̋́̂̆̈́̐̐͝Ő̶͓̪̙̱̹͑̐́̎̃͘͡͞O̹̯͙̼̜̥̱̞͉͂̀͑̽̆̊͆̓̕͟T̷͎͇͇̻͇̖̰̍̾̍̉̓̇̌̀̕͢͡ Ŕ̸̡̞̺̠̇̎͆͛̄̚͢͠͝Ĕ̢̦͇͖̱͔̫͎̭͆͋̄̐̿̕͞ͅQ̢̮͚̙̯̞͒̃͐̈́̆̒̕Ụ̡̮̘͍̹̣̜̠̑̄̐̋̓İ̢̢̧̠̭̻͎͒̾̃͐̌̈́̿́R̸̰͓͓̩̬͋̏̎̉̈́̓̃̒͋͗͢E̪̠̫̖̙̞̦̲̅̍͌̆̓͒̃̍̕͞D̨̧̧̪̥͖͔̾̋͂̀̀̊̓͛̚̕͟—)

Amethyst faceplants straight into the dry, chalky soil as their fusion violently unravels, just barely missing the crushing swing of Jasper’s helm. With no one in that boastful oaf’s path to absorb the force of her trajectory anymore, the orange striped Gem stumbles forward, clumsily crashing to her hands and knees. The bitter, vengeful part of her she usually tries in varying degrees of success to keep well-hidden briefly barks in laughter. Man, it really sucks to be her right now. What goes around comes around.

She’s tempted to do something childish in retaliation to further twist the dagger into the meat of Jasper’s failure— like, perhaps she can spit at her feet… that’s a taunt humans sometimes throw at their foes in those old westerns, yeah?— but then the blinding debris swirling through her mind like a vicious tempest settle, and she finally recalls the urgent reason why that fusion destabilized and she’s laying prone in the dirt to begin with. Her eyes shoot wide with horror.

Steven… where’s Steven?!

Groaning in exhausted exertion, she pulls herself straight to her feet, scouring her immediate surroundings for the boy. Blessedly, he didn’t land far from her. He’s lying on his side by the cliff wall, curled up in fetal position. A wave of relief courses through her limbs upon the sight of his familiar dark curls. She jets to action and sprints the remaining distance.

“Steven!” she calls as she throws herself into a kneel next to him, clasping her fingers tight around his.

But something’s wrong. She can’t pin a name to the what or the why, but the moment he doesn’t grip her hand in equal strength and turn to whoop in joy at their first fusion together, it’s clear that something is very, very wrong.

His gaze is unfocused, distant. She waves her hand in front of his face, but he shows no recognition of her presence. Moreover, his whole body seems to be almost shivering… no, writhing. He gnashes his teeth together as he curls inwards, a hoarse rasp escaping his chapped lips.

“Hey, buddy—?” she calls again with a slight waver to her voice, her features blowing wide in dawning concern.

Peridot scuttles across the canyon floor towards them, Ruby’s gemstone secure in her possession. (Holy smokes, she must have leapt down from her hiding spot to recover it while Smoky was busy standing her ground against Jasper. What bravery! Thank goodness too, there’s no telling what could’ve happened to her gem had it fallen into the quartz’s grasp.)

“Steven, Amethyst, hold on, I’ll save you!” she hollers, almost tripping over herself amid the fraught urgency of the situation. “I’ll—”

Her gaze drops to the half-Gem in question, his forehead slicked with sweat as he tosses and turns at Amethyst’s side in a futile quest for relief.

“Steven…?”

From afar, Amethyst can hear shifting soil and a harried grunt of exertion, both tell-tale signs that Jasper’s recovering from her botched attack. She whirls around, spotting the Gem hefting herself to her feet. She turns back towards Steven, shaking his shoulder as she pleads.

“Common’, quickly, you gotta get up. We can still do this, she didn’t get a hit in, it’s okay, see? We’re okay!”

The boy chokes back a sob as he curls further into himself, genuine tears slicing through all the grime caked upon his cheeks. “No, stop, please! It hurts!”

Her form stutters, hard-light pooling at her core as a horrifying possibility bursts right into the forefront of her mind.

Oh, shards. Surely he’s not—?

“Check his gem,” she instructs Peridot, and hisses a low apology as she grabs both of Steven’s wrists so he won’t thrash away from their emergency wellness check.

Her friend follows her directive and pulls up his shirt, baring his facets. The two of them lean in to scour the crystal’s surface for any evidence of damage, but—

No cracks, not like last time. No visible blemishes at all, except…

He gasps and huffs for breath, a wave of unrestrained panic glazing over his countenance. He flails his way out of Amethyst’s grip, and outright shoves Peridot backwards onto the ground. Simultaneously, the diamond at his center pulses with a dim, stuttering light. Her whole face scrunches with confusion. What on Earth is—?

“What’s wrong with him?” Peri finishes her sentence, hustling back to her feet.

“I-I—” she stammers, her gaze smearing across the scene, soaking up every last detail she can distinguish in but a blink of an eye… her little sibling’s agony, its cause unknown but its impact clearly enough to lock him up in a barbed cage of fight or flight instincts anyways… her companion’s distraught expression, still clutching Ruby’s dormant gem to her chest… their enemy’s lumbering approach from behind, her lips already curving upwards into a hateful sneer— “I- I don’t know! Let’s just—”

Jasper’s dark chuckle cuts straight through whatever half-baked idea was brewing within the surface layers of her gem.

“Really?” she says, singling her and Steven out with one big sweeping, arrogant gesture. The boy gives a sharp inhale, instinctively throwing up his hands in defense as she advances. “That’s all it takes to make a fusion like you fall apart? And here I thought you Crystal Gems were—”

She cuts herself off as that iconic, rose-emblazoned shield bursts to life upon Steven’s forearm, its form flickering and distorting much like a cracked gem’s would as his irises burn an unmissable pink. A jolt of sheer disbelief floods her countenance.

“Those eyes,” she breathes in marked reverence, probably the softest words Amethyst’s ever heard her utter. And then, her gaze dropping lower to the boy’s still-exposed midsection: “That gem—! How—?!”

Seconds later his shield finally dissipates for good, that pulsing light within Steven’s gem falling dark. His irises revert to their natural brown. The kid clutches at his chest, lungs working overtime as he fights to regain balance within himself, any balance at all.

Jasper’s features twist into a furious scowl.

“What kind of blasted mockery is this?!” she hollers, throwing out her hands at the lot. “Those were Pink’s eyes! Pink’s gem! Were you really formed so without respect that you’d even stoop to ridicule the very diamond you shattered?! Why did your eyes look like that, Rose?”

Her voice slams against the surrounding cliffs with an almost anguished intensity. And even though the two (three?) of them were locked within the merciless throes of battle literally two minutes ago or whatever and shouldn’t have a reason to see eye-to-eye on anything, Amethyst can’t help but cringe in sympathy at her impassioned outburst. One doesn’t need to be a Homeworld loyalist to understand the inherent pain of your idol’s image becoming twisted beyond all recognition, falling straight into the hands of the enemy you’ve spent your whole life opposing.

Shifting halfway into lucidity at her side once more, Steven moves his knees under him.

“It’s because—” he starts, legs wobbly as he rises to his feet, exhausted and haggard.

Her eyes snap wide. Damn, the hell is he thinking? “Steven, no, I really don’t think you should—”

“R-Rose… was Pink Diamond.”

In the few seconds of stunned silence that follow, more disparate emotion flickers across that stubborn Beta quartz’s features than Amethyst ever knew she was capable of expressing. Confusion. Grief. Dread. Red hot rage. The time weathered soldier bares her sharpened teeth.

“What did you just say—?” she hisses, all but halving the distance between them in a mere quartet of stomps.

Peridot gulps, making a swift beeline behind her to cling to her arm. She doesn’t blame her— after spending days with her on that hand ship, her friend is better acquainted than anyone here with the consequences of Jasper’s fiery temper.

Steven, on the other hand, seems entirely undeterred by the display. His stance solidifies, spine erect and chin held aloft.

“I- I said,” he repeats, “Rose was Pink. She faked her own shattering. She… s-she played both sides, she—”

“You’re lying!” Jasper roars, smashing a fist right into the cliff face just above Steven’s head. The boy yelps as he throws up his arms to protect himself from the ensuing deluge of crumbling sandstone, renewed panic blooming within his features. “Don’t think you can manipulate me that easily, Rose Quartz! I may have been built to take orders, but I’m not as dense as you’d think!”

“Hey, listen, listen,” Amethyst intercedes with a fresh rush of terror (stars, don’t let him get hurt again, don’t let him get hurt—) buzzing at her center, pulling away from the shaking Gem behind her to outright shield Steven with her body, “I know it sounds crazy, but I swear to you— he’s not lying. And deep down, I think you know that too.”

Her expression snaps halfway to manic at this reinforcement of Steven’s reveal, amber irises flaring with distress. “No, stop—”

“We only found out about it ourselves like, a few days ago. An’ like, you said it yourself, right—? Same eyes, same gem—”

“Just, shut up, okay?” she explodes, grinding clenched fingers into her unkempt mane of hair. “Shut up!”

The quartz storms off a few steps to blow off some steam, pacing back and forth across the weathered stone and silt of their recent battlefield as if the very rubble of the Earth might somehow hold the self-reinforcing answers she must be seeking. Amethyst and Steven just stare after her for a moment, unblinking, this wordless vacuum carving a stark and foreboding canyon at the very root of their souls. She blows a nervous little huff of air through her closed lips. Hoo boy. All right, then. Despite her best efforts to mediate, she doubts there’s a single timeline where this conversation turned out any different. And now, the only question left vibrating against the very edge of her facets is where they all go from here. Like, does Jasper remain a threat? Should she have her whip out right now? Or has neutralizing her corrupted Gem army also neutralized her resolve?

Still holding Ruby’s gemstone, Peridot steps forward to join the two of them.

“Well, that went poorly,” she says in a deadpan tone, placing her free hand at her hip.

“Sorry,” Steven whispers, his words muffled as he speaks from the corner of his mouth. “After what happened with Lapis I thought being forward about it from the beginning might make things easier…”

She turns to give him a comforting pat on the head. “S’okay man, you tried.” Then, turning to the other Gem— who’s currently gazing at the inert ruby in her grasp with her brow creased— “Peri, you good?”

“I thought rubies normally take… less time to reform,” she says, sounding almost dismayed at the Gem in question’s continued absence.

“You!” Jasper’s voice rings out loud and brash then.

Amethyst gasps, whirling around just in time to watch the soldier march back towards the group, fists clenched and frame rigid. Each and every stride filled with unquestionable intent, she closes in on Peridot, one of her hands unfurling as she jabs her pointer finger plumb in her face. Peri gives a meek yelp of alarm, flinching under the threat of her former crew mate’s attention.

“You may be a traitor to Gemkind, but you’re still a top-level Kindergartener. Tell me… is it true, what she claims?”

Peridot looks to her for approval before moving to respond, the silent question written across her features ringing as loud and clear as an active warp pad. (And not to be vain at such a pivotal juncture, but the fact that there’s Gems who actually look to her for leadership input sometimes makes the light cascading throughout her system fizzle with an effervescent joy.) In turn, Amethyst looks to Steven— wanting him to have the final say as the half-Gem who this involves— and the boy serves an assured nod.

The former Homeworld technician gives a sharp inhale, facing Jasper once more.

“I… I can confirm Steven’s statement,” she says, a slight waver riding at the edge of her voice. “Based on all appearance and resonance, the gem his mother passed down to him is most definitely a diamond.” She bristles as Jasper advances a few steps towards him, her intent at this point wholly unknown. “Hey! Don’t you touch him, you brute!”

The other quartz glowers down at Steven, the full grandeur of her seven foot shadow all but engulfing him. She deliberates this quandary at length, balling a fist against her chin.

“Hmmm… I want to speak with the rest of your Crystal Gems,” she spits, as if the very term leaves a bad aftertaste in her mouth. “Something about this story doesn’t add up.”

“Dude, do you seriously think you can order us around?” Amethyst says, throwing her arms out in disbelief. “We just clobbered you!”

Jasper dishes out the haughtiest, most insufferably arrogant chortle she’s heard in her entire existence.

“No, I fought a fusion,” she slings right back, looming over the group with all the foreboding swagger of a bad omen. “A fusion who isn’t here right now, is it? Accept it— none of you have a choice but to do as I say. So go on, then,” she practically purrs, flashing them a downright devious grin. “Take me to your leader.”

Chapter Text

For obvious reasons, their trip through the warp stream is rife with enough unresolved tension to snap a rubber band clear in half.

Amethyst sighs under her breath, tugging Steven closer to her side as she tries her darnedest to not so much as spare a stray glance at their ‘guest.’ Even Peridot— suspended midair right next to her— doesn’t seem very interested in entertaining idle conversation with the disgruntled Beta quartz. Instead, she curls her body inwards around Ruby’s inert gemstone while the four of them (said unwanted ‘guest’ included) are towed along by the chiming siren call of their ultimate destination.

One thing’s for damn sure… today hasn’t gone anything like she expected.

She didn’t expect to take an impromptu field trip to another kindergarten she never knew existed. She didn’t expect to— in that very kindergarten— be faced with a whole army of trapped, terrified corrupted Gems. And she absolutely didn’t expect to almost beat Jasper in a spur-of-the-moment fight, let alone while fused with Steven.

Speaking of Steven…

Frowning, she glances down at the boy clutched against her chest… safe and conscious and alert, but oh-so exhausted. Oh-so burdened. At first their sudden fusion came as a joyous surprise, but now—

Averting her gaze once more, Amethyst tries not to dwell upon the scattered myriad of disturbing images that flickered through Smoky’s destabilizing mind right before they fell apart. H-he… he’s gotta be fine now, yeah? All that stuff he’s gone through… getting cracked by someone he thought was an ally, splitting in two… it’s over. Done. A thing of the past. None of it can physically touch him any more than a stray dream can influence one’s lived reality. Which is to say, not at all.

Still, though.

When this matter with Jasper is finally resolved, she really should pull the lil’ guy aside and check in with him. She’s been such a stuck-up ass to everyone lately, so it’s the least he deserves.

But enough digression. The gentle tug of gravity is enough to coax her attention back to what really matters: their gatecrashing houseguest.

“This is your base?” Jasper spits out the second they arrive back at the temple on the warp pad.

“Uhh… yes?” Amethyst says with a narrowed side glance, stepping off the pad with Steven in tow, the two linked hand-in-hand. Peridot follows close behind.

Their guest lets out a boisterous laugh, one filled with more disdainful mirth than she ever knew a single person was capable of discharging on their own.

She bristles, clenching her fingers around Steven’s even tighter. “And what exactly is so funny about that? Maybe I should remind you, but you’re in our territory now, capiche?”

“And that’s just it,” Jasper says with a bit of a snide snicker still coloring her tone, planting a solid fist against her hip. “I knew you Crystal Gems were stuck in the past, but— using this planet’s brittle organics as your base’s fortifications? How are any of you lowlifes still intact?”

“Stubbornness,” she hisses through gritted teeth. And oh hoh-oh, does it take every last crumb of self-restraint available not to just whirl around and wail her in the face right this instant.

‘Cause absolutely none of this was supposed to happen. Jasper was never supposed to infiltrate the house, much less due to her shortsightedness. Just, ugh. She should’ve listened when Peridot suggested they seek backup, or when Ruby and Steven first tried to offer their aid during the fight. She never should’ve pushed them away, never should’ve tried to spar that damned quartz alone. But instead, she failed at every turn— she got so caught up in the turbulent riptide of her own stupid feelings that she got Ruby poofed, dragged Steven into a battle that was never his to begin with, and led the enemy straight into the now shattered safety of their home.

Yikes. What a mess she’s made of things today.

“Hey, where is everyone?” Steven asks then, planting a momentary stopper on whatever beef was starting to simmer between the two of them stubborn quartzes again.

Amethyst’s brows thread inwards as she breaks away from him to peer around the space. Huh, yeah. It looks like Pearl and Sapphire went out. All the lights in the main living area are off, and none of the gems on the temple door are lit up, which suggests they’re not in their rooms. So where on Earth could they have gone?

“Pah. You’d even leave your base unguarded?” Jasper comments, leaning up against the kitchen counter like she thinks she owns the place or whatever and crossing her arms over her chest.

Boiling with frustration, she stamps her foot. “No—! I… augh, that’s what we’re here for!”

“Why do you even want to talk to the other Gems, anyways?” Steven asks with a deepening frown, tilting his head as he crosses the room to stand next to Peridot. “I mean, you already defeated Ruby,” he says in as blunt a tone he can muster, his volume steadily increasing as he gestures towards the gemstone in his neighbor’s careful grasp, “so… so why go to all this trouble to begin with? If you doubt our story… and you hate Rose and everything she stands for so much… why not just finish the job while you’re ahead and poof all of us?”

“Geeze, don’t give her any bright ideas, Steven,” Amethyst mutters from the corner of her lips, glance narrowing.

Jasper merely huffs in response. “A soldier doesn’t discuss strategy with the enemy. But mark my words, I will get the answers I seek… even if that means dragging the truth right out of you miserable lot.”

“Yeah, well, good luck with that,” she snorts right back. “If it’s answers you want, I’ve got some real bad news for ya’: none of us know the full truth, either.”

“Uh, Steven? Amethyst?” Peridot nabs their attention from the end of the kitchen counter. She holds up a sheet of paper with what looks to be Pearl’s neat, loopy handwriting on it.

“Lemme see that,” she hums, crossing over to grab the paper.

Trouble at the barn, it reads. Meet us there when you return.

She scowls. “Trouble at the barn—? But that means…”

“Lapis!” Peridot and Steven cry out in unison. Then, splitting off into their own individual, overlapping concerns:

“Stars, I never should’ve left her there alone—”

“We have to check if she’s okay!”

Folding her lips taut as she contemplates all the dizzying complexities of this situation, she widens her stance. Clenches her fists at her side, whirls around to face their house guest with as much manufactured authority as she can possibly muster as one undercooked runt of a quartz all on her own.

“You, sit here and stay put,” she says, jabbing her finger towards their prickly little visitor. “And don’t get any big shot ideas about messin’ with our stuff while we’re gone, got it? You can fish for your answers or whatever else it is you want when the others are back.”

Jasper scoffs, staring down her nose (well… the precise positioning of her gem kinda gives the impression of a nose—?) at them. “Stay behind? Not a chance. If the rest of your Crystal Gems are there, then I’m coming with you.”

“Oh, great. Of course you are,” she comments flatly with a great big exacerbated roll of her eyes, her syllables long and drawn out.

Welp. It was still worth a shot.

Another quick trek across this planet’s vast warp network later, Amethyst and her little ragtag band of followers arrive in the nearby countryside nestled in the hills just a few miles south from Beach City. She fights to bite back her grimace as she beckons the group to march forward, Steven kept in the reassuring security of her hold. The barn isn’t in visual range yet, but good ol’ P’s dulcet tones are hard to miss.

She can’t lie— she’s long fantasized about this very hour… in another time, another place… in a completely different set of circumstances. She’s long harbored idle imaginings of carrying Jasper’s bubbled gemstone home, of Steven’s innocent, starry-eyed amazement when he learns she took her down completely solo, of Garnet and Pearl’s glowing praise for this momentous accomplishment. Failing that, she’s dreamt of tying her up in the thorny cord of her whip… of dragging her sorry, worthless ass back to the temple for an intensive interrogation wholly under her own power. All of this to say, presenting Jasper to the Gems was supposed to be her big moment. Her chance to prove to them (but mostly to herself) that she’s capable of being more than just a second rate rebel. She loves Steven, yes, but she’ll never forgive herself if she lets a kid overpass her in sheer martial ability. She’s supposed to be a quartz soldier, for stars’ sake!

So to tread ever closer to this inevitable confrontation with Ruby’s poofed gemstone in hand… to march back to the others at their enemy’s brutish demand instead of her own… it’s an outright disgrace.

Or, it would have been if not for the far more pressing issue that leaps into the forefront the split second the barn enters her view.

The hard-light pouring through Amethyst’s channels stutters. Pearl and Sapphire are poised at full alarm at Lapis’ side, expressions clouded with poorly hidden worry. And Lapis, well… her attention is locked upon her familiar batch of captives, held aloft within her watery clutches.

“The Ruby squad!” Steven cries, eyes blowing wide. He yanks out of her grip and darts ahead before she can even attempt to catch him. “They’re back already—?”

The other two Crystal Gems whirl around to meet his call in a flash, wildly differing flavors of shock painting their features when they match eyes with the ‘guest’ Amethyst’s brought along. Pearl gasps. Sapphire sweeps her bangs aside for a second look, as if still doubting the validity of the chaotic present they’ve all stumbled into. Even the rubies seem to respond to their arrival, their panicked babbling— halfway unintelligible through the watery shell of their prisons— intensifying upon the visual receipt of their rescue mission’s objective.

Lapis is the last to react. Right as she glances over her shoulder to regard the ragtag group, her voice warbles with— at first— nothing but fondness and well meaning concern.

“Steven! I—”

She cuts herself off the instant her eyes lock with Jasper’s resentful, bitter sneer. Her form stiffens. With little warning at all, her once amicable demeanor is cast in tumultuous shadow.

“What is she doing here?” she snarls, clenching her fists.

The water bubbles encapsulating the rubies shrink in response, forcing the disgruntled lot into far more cramped and uncomfortable positions. Even Amethyst can’t help but cringe in sympathy, and she doesn’t even like any of them.

Peridot, the star that she is, takes one for the team and rushes forward to try and calm her down.

“Lapis! Lapis, we can explain!” she says, holding out her free hand in as placating a manner as she can muster.

However, the Gem in question doesn’t even allow her roommate a solitary second to clarify the situation before she bends under the pressure. Lapis takes a deep, unsteady breath… and then bursts into a dark and altogether fatuous peel of laughter, one that injects Amethyst with the sudden concern that she’s only one unstable step away from having a complete and total sanity break. Her stance solidifies, holding her line in the dry soil as she gathers her scattered wits enough to part her lips and speak.   

“You know what?” she begins, her voice streaked with just a twinge of frenzied instability. “I don’t care anymore! Don’t care why she’s here, don’t care to find out. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna leave these rubies to all of you and make a very long loop around this planet—” her once manic tone twists into a far darker shade of malice as her narrowed gaze lowers upon  a bitter Jasper— “and by the time I get back I better not see you on my property again, or else we’ll both be sorry.”

Watery wings erupt from her back in a showy glimmer of light, and without sparing even a second to glance back she takes off… flying up, up, and away.

Despite full well understanding the root cause of Lapis’ distress, and that she’s like, traumatized or whatever, Amethyst can’t help but scoff under her breath at the sheer exaggerated production of her exit.

Aye, ye, ye, she thinks. Melodramatic, much?

But no matter her quiet dislike of that Gem, her departure soon leaves the rest of them scrambling for control in a way she never anticipated.

After all, the moment Lapis leaves the barn’s immediate radius her influence over the water bubbles she trapped the Homeworld rubies in wanes. One by one they pop, unceremoniously dropping each of the intruding Gems into the grass. Amethyst and every last one of her fellow Crystal Gems flinch. Pearl draws out her weapon. Sapphire’s lips purse as she drinks in the minutia of the scene, probably scanning the infinitudes of her future vision for any possible advantage that’s still open to them. Peridot shrinks back closer to Steven, cradling their own Ruby a touch tighter.

The leader of the bunch, however, is swift to recover.

“Jasper!” the ruby exclaims with zeal, adjusting her visor as she clambers to her feet. “We’ve been scouring the whole dang solar system for you!”

“We’re so glad you’re okay,” adds the one with a gem on her leg, her voice filled with genuine concern.

Some of the others are all too eager to chime in as well:

“Yeah!”

“Yeah, we even searched the entirety of Neptune!”

A frenzied maelstrom of energy surges through Amethyst’s limbs, empowering her to act in defense of the pyrrhic victory she’s fought so hard for. She summons her whip before a single one of these interlopers can cross any closer to the captive quartz in her custody.

“Back off,” she growls in a clipped tone, pushing herself to the head of their entourage and snapping the spiked cord of her weapon to an alert stance in front of her.

“Amethyst…” Pearl says in clear warning, her own grip tightening on the shaft of her spear. Sapphire, standing directly adjacent, cringes as well.

But to her great frustration, she has no chance to prove her might and show those rubies she means business before the quartz she’s supposed to have under her thumb shoves right past her.

“Hey—!”

“Out of my way, runt!” Jasper spits as she barrels forward, with pronunciation so sharp it might as well have slashed a slit through the veil of whatever’s left of her confidence. “Worthless slag like you and the rest of your Crystal Gems have no place meddling with Homeworld’s affairs.”

She growls, a sound that rumbles from deep within the unfathomable, churning abyss of her soul. Before she can rear back and fling her whip at her, however, she feels a warm hand cup against her shoulder, and in that isolated moment it’s more than enough to shatter past the broad bulk of her stubborn, imprudent rage. Her breath stills. Steven. Of course it’s Steven. Ever so gentle, he draws her away… and when she glances back to meet his eyes, his silent message— wise beyond his years— is clear even without the benefit of spoken language.

Not here, his expression pleads. Not now.

Though it’s frustrating as all hell, Amethyst relents, lowering her clenched fist and allowing her weapon to fall slack. Deep down she knows he’s right (duh, obviously he is), and it low key pisses her off. If she attacks Jasper, those rubies will be on her ass in no time flat. And if she couldn’t hold the line against one Gem alone, what chance does she have against six of them? Scowling, she pins her focus on their enemy and observes as she approaches the squad of pint-sized Homeworld soldiers, annoyingly assured in her approach.

All five of the rubies scramble to meet Jasper halfway, their faces sparkling with awe— even the cranky one with her gem where her eyeball should be.

“Jasper,” their leader says, snapping into a diamond salute, “it’s such an honor to stand in your presence. And with a whole clutch of captives under your expert command, no less, hah!”

“What do you want?” Jasper asks, clearly not impressed by their empty flattery as she crosses her arms over her chest.

“We were sent here on a mission straight from Yellow Diamond— she’s awaiting your swift return to Homeworld as we speak.”

“Hmph,” she grunts, brow pressing inwards as she stares— ever so impassively— down at this short statured Gem.

“An’ we’d take your Crystal Gem prisoners with us as well, of course!” she adds, jabbing her pointer finger aloft. “What heroes we’ll all be, a loyal batch of rubies and the Facet 9 Kindergarten Quartz Who Could, teaming up to finally bring Pink Diamond to justice!”

Amethyst gasps, reaching back to grab ahold of Steven’s arm as she contemplates this grim possibility. Stars, everything is so messed up. She messed up. She let her vitriolic emotions claim dominion over her this whole past week, and now— just because she couldn’t call it quits with her stupid, irrational revenge fantasies— she’s gotten every single person she loves at risk of being captured by Homeworld. They can try to fight all they want, yes… but there’s a dawning sense of destabilizing dread stirring within the core of her gem that they’re simply too unorganized and outmatched to have any hope of victory. Ruby’s poofed, Sapphire on her own doesn’t have any battle experience, Peridot’s a novice, Steven’s still shaken up from his whole freak out at the Kindergarten, and her—?

Well, as today’s events have already proved, she’s clearly not worth much on the battlefield, either.

It’s six against five, but only one of them is a capable enough warrior in this mess of a catastrophe to put up a halfway honorable defense.

Slow and calculated in her inspection, Jasper swivels her head to and fro… glancing with narrowed, scrutinous eyes between Steven and the squadron of rubies. She summons her helm. Amethyst finds herself shrinking back by rote instinct at that sound alone, already well acclimated to its business-like means of torment. But then…

The Beta quartz pivots around to the Homeworld Gems. In one smooth, rapid movement she swings her whole upper body down like an anvil dropping from the sky, her helm shining in the sun as it meets the rubies’ leader head-on.

Poofed in one strike.

In the absence of their mission commander the others plunge into panicked disarray. Jasper makes quick work of them, chasing down each panicking, clamoring gem in turn and resigning them all to the same fate as the first. It’s a gruesome display of raw militant prowess, and Amethyst feels compelled to clutch Steven’s fearful, tremoring form close as she— entirely powerless to look away— ogles this horror show. In mere seconds flat the last gemstone clatters into the grass, rolling a few inches or so before halting to a complete and wholly inert stop.

Her limbs tense with dread as Jasper turns towards them next. Strides forward with unquestionable composure. Peridot whisks a nearby spade into her metallokinetic control with her free hand. Pearl jolts forward with her spear brandished at the ready, yelling for her to stand down, but Amethyst finds herself too rattled by the whole situation to react. Her head swims with senseless noise and color as the quartz plants her feet in the dirt right before them. Before Steven.

The intensity of her gaze is downright piercing.

She clamps her eyelids shut with Steven in her grasp, already having resigned herself to her likely dissolution and shattering, when she hears the distinct sound of a knee striking the ground in solid fortitude.

The entire world seems to hold its breath.

Feet away from the volatile nucleus of this fated conflict, Sapphire gasps. Steven pushes himself out of her protective reach, inhaling hard and heavy.

Amethyst dares to open her eyes.

Jasper is crouched in a kneel before her little sibling, head bowed and poised in full diamond salute.

Pearl’s expression flashes with a sense of alarmed confusion. “What is she—”

“My Diamond,” their enemy utters in a formal, gravelly tone, face still entirely averted, “I cannot in good conscience return to Homeworld after learning of your fate. As such, I offer my service to you as I once served you before. Forgive me for my previous oversights. I swear to you, every action I’ve ever taken, every last step, was in hopes of avenging your shattering. I never knew the truth until now.”

Steven tugs at his collar, shuffling in place as he fumbles for what on Earth to say in response. There’s a few drops of sweat beading on his forehead.

“I-I’m… uh, at ease—?” he splutters with a bit of a nervous chuckle, his still-shaking palms outstretched in circuit tingling neutrality.

Amethyst watches in a state of crystalized shock as Jasper obeys his order without question, shifting back to her full, seven foot tall posture before him. She’s still captured within that salute, however.

“Anyways,” he continues, awkwardly rolling himself back and forth on his heels, “all that’s… um, really, really thoughtful of you, but one—” he counts off on his fingers— “I’m not actually Pink Diamond, and two, you don’t need to serve me. In fact, you don’t need to serve anyone on Earth! That’s why it’s so great here!”

“Here, here!” Peridot cheerily chimes from the sidelines, cupping her mouth between her hands.

Steven glances back, giving a faint glimmer of a grin at this show of support before returning his full attention to Jasper.

“We’d be glad for you to stay if that’s what you want,” he says, and gestures to the rest of them… Amethyst forcing a hesitant smile at this horrific, unwanted notion in spite of her objections, “but if you do, it wouldn’t be like the Homeworld you’re used to.”

Some elusive, unquantifiable emotion passes across that quartz’ severe countenance at this utterance, causing Steven to fumble in his speech.

“T-that’s… but that’s a good thing, though!” he rushes to clarify, throwing his arms out in gleeful exuberance. “That means you have the freedom to choose who you want to be, instead of just doing all the junk your leaders tell you to.”

To be frank— given the intensive manner in which Homeworld’s rhetoric permeates its loyalists— Amethyst’s not sure what else Steven expected to happen, but his disappointment is palpable as Jasper continues to hold that damned salute, issuing her full and unquestioned compliance.

“If that is your will, My Diamond.”

He scratches at the nape of his neck, exhaling a weary breath. “Hoo boy, this might take a while, huh.”

Slack jawed, Amethyst swings towards an absolutely exhausted looking Pearl, who’s standing at the sidelines with her lithe fingers pressed to the side of her head like she’s a human nursing a migraine. “Wait, are we really doing this?”

“It’s better than her trying to kill us,” she mutters from between taut lips, shrugging.

“A future where she turns on someone she considers her diamond is unlikely,” Sapphire adds, nodding her agreement. “One needs not have my ability to see that.”

With the immediate chaos of the moment now sated, the Crystal Gems surge back into action. Pearl skirts forward to retrieve all the poofed Homeworld gems from where they lay— dejected and previously forgotten— in the grass. She’s swift to bubble them, sending them off to the Burning Room with a ginger tap. Sapphire hoists her skirts and rushes towards Peridot, who gladly passes off Ruby to her care and starts rattling off about what on Earth happened back in the Beta Kindergarten. There’s a sense of near catatonic distraught woven all throughout her body language as she cups that red, square-faceted gemstone in her palms, distantly nodding from time to time as the other Gem regales her with the tale of Ruby’s daring and valiant stand against Jasper. Lightly kicking her boot upon the dirt, Amethyst shifts her observations from the others to focus back on Steven. On her favorite little guy in the whole wide world, her partner in crime, her wrestling wingman. He’s caught in a state of deep contemplation, idly tapping at the facets of his gem through the thin fabric of his cottony t-shirt. Jasper is watching him closely from a few feet away, but he pays her no heed. With a sharp inhale, she crosses over to him.

“Can we, uh… can we talk somewhere private for a moment?” she asks lowly, keeping a careful eye on You-Know-Who looming over them nearby.

Seeming distant and a bit gloomy now that all the adrenaline has worn off, Steven nods. He takes her offered hand, and they begin to cross the field towards Lapis and Peridot’s home.

The problem is, so does Jasper.

Amethyst shoots her a scathing look, her grip on him intensifying.

“Hey!” she snaps. “Steven might’ve invited you to stay here with us, but don’t start getting any big-shot ideas. Unlike me, you’re just a quartz— not his confidant. So you can keep watch over ‘His Divine Radiance’ or whatever from afar, if that’s what you’re so desperate to do. Now scram,” she motions as if flicking her away, “and give us some damn privacy, for once.”

Her lip curling downwards in her silent outrage, Jasper looks to Steven for rescue. He only offers her a sheepish half-smile, however… mouthing the word ‘please’ as a minor salve to her brusque send-off. The (former??) Homeworld loyalist complies with an exasperated huff, and— grumbling a crude slurry of Gem obscenities Steven very much doesn’t need to be privy to under her breath— stalks off.

They find themselves a slice of blissful privacy behind the other side of the barn, shaded from the glaring rays of the sun. Steven leans back against the wall and sighs with fatigue. Amethyst slumps up next to him, criss crossing one leg over the other and allowing the faint, trumpeting calls of the gulls over the distant ocean gloss their way over their ample worries like a cooling salve.

“Dude… are you okay?” she asks after a brief moment’s silence.

A meager, half-hearted shrug. “I dunno, I guess—? I mean, I don’t think Jasper’s gonna try an’ fight us anymore, so that’s pretty good.”

“No. No, no, no,” she cuts in, shaking her head. “I’m not talking about all this, I’m talking about what happened back at the Kindergarten. Y’know, after we unfused—? Y-you… you really freaked Peridot and I out.”

He hugs his arms around himself almost protectively, turning away.

“I don’t… I don’t wanna talk about it right now.”

“Why not?”

“I just… don’t.”

Frowning, she presses the matter again, reaching across the minuscule chasm between them. “But like, why—?”

“Because—?!” he bursts out, swinging around as he roughly shoves her hand away. “It’s embarrassing, okay? I totally lost us that fight! We were winning, a-and then I just—”

Steven’s voice cracks something awful at the end of his (well deserved!) emotional tirade, after which his head drops to the ground and he begins to softly cry.

Amethyst is quick to leap to his aid, tugging him to her chest (he doesn’t resist this time) and wrapping him up in the fiercest embrace she can muster. He spills his messy, broken sobs right onto the exposed surface of her gem. It tingles a bit… perhaps the latent healing power of his magic tears conferring her a little spit-shine after the intensity of that battle… but she doesn’t mind.

“Hey, hey,” she hums in as gentle a tone she can manage, carding her fingers through his soft curls as he works to regain his composure. “It’s fine. I promise you, it’s fine. Everything turned out okay in the end, yeah? ‘Sides—” she pulls away for a spell, flashing him a playful smirk as she gestures— “you put up with me being a complete dink to everyone like, this whole day. Doesn’t get more embarrassing than my whole deal, right? Eh?”

She nudges him with her elbow, waggling her eyebrows. He doesn’t smile in return, but he has stopped actively crying. For now, at least.

Kicking herself back against the wall of the barn again, she gives a long and labored sigh. “Listen. If you don’t wanna talk, I— I get it, okay? I won’t press you any harder. But like… you’ve got someone in your corner, y’know? You’ve always been a rock for me when I’ve needed one, and I wanna be that person for you too.”

He offers a halfhearted sniffle.

And then…

“I… don’t actually know what happened back there,” he admits, thumbing at one of his pockets. “It’s like, for a while we were fused just fine, but then I…”

Steven trails off momentarily, his expression screwing into a rather sour grimace.

She fights back the instinctual urge to interject with comforting words, with some utterance she knows would come off as merely a trite, empty platitude. As much as it pains her to see the kid so torn up about this, the truth of the matter is that some emotional sticking points need time to marinate before they can be effectively expressed.

In time, he takes a labored breath, empowering himself to continue. “So, I obviously never fell apart, not for real, but… when I was curled up on the ground, it felt like I was. It felt like—” he pauses to press his thumb and forefinger to his temple, not bothering to bite back his potent wince as they make contact— “like we were back at the fountain, and some broken part of me’s holding my gem—!”

Amethyst fails to conceal a quiet gasp, eyes widening in her anguished sympathy.

“And do you still feel like that?” she asks in as serious a tone she can muster.

“N-no… no, not anymore. I’m— I think it’s a little better, now. But my shield—!” he warbles with frustration. “I know I still can’t summon my shield right, see?”

Pressing his lips taut as he focuses, Steven clenches his fist and throws his arm out in front of him like he would whenever he’s falling into a defensive stance. His irises glow a vibrant pink. Faint shimmers of light echo in the space where his weapon should appear… and then a kaleidoscopic display of rapidly flickering shapes… and then back to those ephemeral shimmers. He doubles over with hands on knees at the outset of this attempt, his lungs bowing in and out as he scrounges for any ounce of internal harmony he can muster.

The light near about drains from her face. “Dude. We should really tell Pearl and Sapphire about this…”

“You can’t—!” he interjects, jolting back upright like a spring loaded trap. “Please, I— they’re already worried about so much, I don’t want to stress them out even more! Let me just—” he takes a deep, deep breath— “try to figure all this out on my own for once. Okay? I’ve already struggled with my powers once. I’m sure I can figure it out again.”

Her brow creases as she contemplates. “I mean… I still think you should tell them eventually, but. If that’s what you want, I won’t narc. Not unless it gets any worse.”

“Thank you,” he breathes, looking relieved.

“Yeah, don’t mention it, little man. Now let’s get heading back, ‘kay?” she says with a smile, nodding her head towards the far edge of the barn. “Tch… it’s not like we need your new guard dog freaking out, or anything.”

Steven nods in approval of this, still sniffling a little as he rubs away the lingering moisture in his eyes. She clasps her hand in his. Taking their own sweet time, the pair of them transition back to the open, sunny clearing where everyone else is waiting, their reluctant new ally (???) included.

“Are you two alright?” Pearl asks, an undercurrent of worry riding within her tone.

“Yeah, we’re fine,” she says, sparing a brief glance at the sullen kid huddled up next to her. “Just needed a little debrief, ‘s all.”

It’s at that exceedingly lucky moment that Ruby’s gemstone sees fit to chime with renewed life. Everyone snaps to attention, watching as the pulsing gem rises up out of Sapphire outstretched hands and into the humid summer air. Light stretches from her core like a flower in bloom, weaving itself into the glowing silhouette of her stout, squat torso and rounded limbs. This bodily outline rapidly shifts through a fair number of subtle conformations before settling into its brand new shape.

Ruby jolts in long delayed surprise as she solidifies in full. Slipping right back into gravity’s all-knowing grasp, she drops to the grass and wordlessly gawks at her captive audience. She seems very disoriented with her drastic change in scenery, and frankly, Amethyst can’t blame her.

Despite the uneasy nature of their parting a few days ago, Sapphire is quick to rush to her side.

“I-I…” she begins, voice strained as she moves the fringe of her bangs aside. “I like your new form.”

“Heh, thanks,” Ruby says, flushing a deep maroon. She takes this moment as a good excuse to extend her arms and admire her changed appearance as well.

She now boasts a set of golden bracers and a pin on her headband that’s shaped like a star. On the whole, the rest of her outfit isn’t much different from her normal fare, with the singular exception that her top now exposes her midriff. Amethyst agrees, it’s a fetching look for her.

Then, upon glancing up and noticing Jasper standing peacefully amongst their numbers— arms crossed as she scowls at the lot of them— Ruby squints in complete and utter confusion.

“Wait… what did I miss—?”