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A piercing scream cut through the otherwise silent room, instantly starling Toni awake. She snapped her eyes open, letting out a groan as she sat up, trying to pinpoint her exact location. The moonlight was streaming through the small gap between the curtains and the windowsill, slightly illuminating the room. She quickly scanned her surroundings, the initial drowsiness wearing off, when she realized she was in Cheryl's room. Red hair was spread out all over the red silk sheets and Toni's heart sank when she realized, that her girlfriend was yet again shaking, squirming and whimpering in her sleep. She instantly knew what was happening. She was having a nightmare. Cheryl's nightmares had become a common occurrence and the pink haired girl absolutely hated seeing the redhead suffer. She just felt so fucking helpless.
The desperate whimpers soon turned into loud sobs and Toni started rubbing circles on Cheryl's back while softly caressing her forehead, simultaneously brushing her hair out of her face. "Cheryl, wake up!" she cooed, trying to get her shaking girlfriend to stir awake. She softly squeezed her shoulder, whispering sweet nothings. With a final loud scream, the redhead woke up gasping for air, instantly throwing the covers off of her, a pained and terrified expression evident on her face.
Fear and adrenaline were pumping through every fiber of her being. Her senses were playing games with her mind and her body, and she felt like she was about to combust and die right on the spot. Cheryl was completely disoriented and all she could hear, was a deafening ringing in her ears, crashing over her weak body in waves, violently dragging her under the tide. The taller girl instinctively pulled her knees up to her chest, rocking back and forth, while forceful cries wrecked her body.
She couldn't hear, feel or see much, as her breathing was becoming more and more unsteady and she was gasping for air.
Toni had to try her hardest to keep her tears at bay. She had to be strong for her girlfriend. Freaking out would only make the situation worse, so she scooted closer to her girlfriend, careful to avoid frantic movements.
"You're safe with me, babe." Toni softly tapped a pattern on Cheryl's hand, to make her aware of her presence. The redhead flinched at the sudden contact, squeezing her eyes shut, but when Toni kept whispering words of reassurance, she slightly relaxed and let the pink-haired girl grab her hands, lightly squeezing them. "I'm right here, right by your side." The former-serpent started running her fingers over the redhead's knee with her free hand, while drawing patterns on her knuckles with her other hand.
"If you can hear me, please squeeze my hand, babe. Can you do that for me?" she asked, continuing to caress Cheryl's soft ivory skin. She sighed in relief, when she felt the redhead slightly tightening the grip on her hand.
"Cheryl, can you try to mimic my breathing?" Toni gently took the redhead's shaking hands and placed them on her own ribcage. She started taking deep breaths in and out, while mumbling words of encouragement. "You're doing great, baby. Focus on me, I'm right here. You're safe."
She studied Cheryl intently, noticing an ever-so-slight change in her posture, grateful when she saw her girlfriend attempting to take deep breaths. "You're doing amazing! Keep breathing, love"
After a long while of them staying in this position, Cheryl finally managed to calm her racing heart down to a point where she could somewhat steady her breathing and open her brown eyes, which were immediately fixed on Toni's.
"I- I'm s-sorry" She immediately started sobbing again, and she ripped her hands out of Toni's firm grasp to cover her face. Rocking back and forth in an attempt to calm herself down, she hardly even felt the hot tears streaming down her face.
Her thoughts started to spiral out of control once again. Her mind kept wandering back to the painful memories of the firehose of abuse she had been subjected to her entire life. It was safe to say, that her parents had violently squashed out every ounce of joy and happiness in her life and while she was getting better, she still had to live with the consequences.
The night-terrors were a constant reminder of the things she tried so hard to forget, to suppress. But nothing could make her forget. No matter how hard she tried, everything would always catch up to her.
The redhead couldn’t really see much, everything was blurry through her tear-filled eyes.
“Cheryl, baby… you’re safe.” She faintly saw a flash of pink hair and though she was still weeping, she reached out to cling onto Toni. Her girlfriend reacted immediately by carefully cradling her face, wiping her tears away.
The redhead focused on the way her girlfriends’ gentle fingers were brushing over the apple of her cheek and she inhaled the familiar scent of Toni’s shampoo. She was slowly starting to calm down, forcing herself to focus entirely on Toni.
The pink-haired girl was the only source of light in her otherwise dark mind. Toni cared. She was patient, loving Cheryl even in her weakest moments. It was hard for the redhead to comprehend why. Why she cared so much even though she had been anything but welcoming when the serpents had joined Riverdale High, was beyond her. Why she’d continued to fight for her, even though she could be harsh and snappy at times. Toni knew that she was trying her best, and she was willing to help her heal. She loved her regardless of all her faults.
They worked extremely well together, despite their differences. Their backgrounds could not be more different. After all, they were from completely different sides of the track, but that didn’t get in the way of their connection in the slightest bit. It was like every single bad thing that’d happened in their lives lead them here. It was like they were destined to cross paths, to help the other reach their full potential.
Cheryl had managed to even her breathing and she felt Toni peppering kisses on her cheek, whispering sweet nothings in between every peck, while drawing patterns on the back of her neck.
Toni Topaz truly was an angel and she couldn’t quite wrap her mind around the fact that she was her girlfriend.
The redhead felt her eyelids getting heavier, and she knew that sleep would soon overcome her, so she focused on the way Toni’s chest was rising and falling against her own and she took a deep breath, loosely wrapping her arms around her girlfriend.
Toni was the last thing on her mind before she fell asleep.
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Toni was the first thing on her mind when she woke up.
Leaning into the warmth that was radiating off the petite girl’s body next to her own, she forced her eyes to flutter open.
Toni was already awake, a small smile gracing her face when Cheryl eyes met her own. The pink-haired girl was lazily drawing patterns on her girlfriend’s exposed shoulder blade, making the redhead shudder.
“Good morning sleepyhead” Toni’s raspy morning voice immediately made Cheryl feel at ease. She was still quite drowsy and exhausted from the lack of sleep, so she nuzzled her face into the crook of Toni’s neck. “Morning babe” she mumbled.
Toni chuckled, holding the HBIC tighter, wrapping both arms around her midriff. Cheryl let out a deep sigh, her hot breath tickling Toni’s neck. She loved waking up in the arms of the girl she was deeply in love with.
The former serpent gently toyed with Cheryl’s soft hair, delicately massaging her girlfriends scalp, which made her sigh in contentment. “Do you want me to make us some breakfast babe?”
The taller girl let out a frustrated groan, clinging onto Toni even tighter. “I really don’t want to move right now… I’d rather stay in bed cuddling.”
“Well I guess I’m pretty comfy” The pink-haired girl smiled, continuing to run her fingers through red strands of hair. “I can’t exactly argue with that” Cheryl chuckled, leaving soft kisses on Toni’s jawline.
They stayed in this position for a while, wrapped up in each other’s arms. Sunlight was streaming though the curtains, slightly illuminating the room in the faint red morning glow. Everything was quiet besides the birds chirping outside. They truly were in their own little world. That’s how it had always been between the two of them. It was always them against the rest of the world.
While everything was seemingly quiet, Toni’s mind surely wasn’t. She was deep in thought because she couldn’t stop thinking about the events of the previous night. Cheryl’s nightmares were a nearly daily occurrence at this point, and she wanted to help, even though there was nothing she could do, that could make them go away. Her thoughts were all over the place, but nevertheless, she kept coming to the same conclusion.
Everything was calm until Toni decided to finally break the silence. “Cher?”
Cheryl slightly pulled away to be able to properly look at Toni. “Mhm”
“Are you okay? Like genuinely okay?” Toni intertwined her own hand with Cheryl’s, placing a soft kiss on her knuckles.
Cheryl frowned, slightly scrunching her nose while carefully eying her girlfriend. “Yeah, I guess I am… All I know is that I’m a lot happier than I’ve been in a long time. Why are you asking?”
Toni was nervously chewing on her full bottom lip, glancing at her girlfriends’ brown eyes. “You’ve been though hell and back, Cher… And I can see that you’re struggling… Have you ever considered seeing a therapist?” Cheryl squeezed her eyes shut, a stray tear running down her cheek. Toni slowly leaned in and kissed her forehead, softly caressing her cheek. “I don’t want to upset you babe, I just want you to know, that I see you.” Cheryl opened her eyes to find Toni looking right back at her. There was so much adoration and passion behind her eyes that Cheryl had trouble following what she was saying. “I see you and I love you. But you don’t have to suffer in silence. You deserve to heal…and maybe getting professional help for your struggles could help you?”
Cheryl took a deep breath, composing herself. Silent tears were streaming down her face, but Toni quickly wiped them away with her thumb. A part of her wanted to get defensive because showing her true emotions was something she was still struggling with. But she was learning, and while the thought of getting help was beyond terrifying, it also sparked a small flame of hope within her. Maybe she could give it a try?
“You really mean that?” she finally whispered, looking directly into Toni’s brown orbs, that she so deeply fell in love with.
“Of course! We’re in this together, Cher. It’s your decision baby, but I really wanted to bring this up… What do you think?”
Cheryl started toying with the hem of Toni’s oversized shirt, occupying her hands to calm her nerves. “Full disclosure… The idea of talking to a therapist scares me shitless… especially after… after what happened at the sisters.”
Toni gasped, slapping her own forehead. “Oh shit, I’m sorry baby- I didn’t even think about th-. “
“It’s okay… I just- I know it’s stupid and I should be over it, I guess. I’m still scared though.” Toni gently kissed the tip of her nose, while trying to gather her thoughts.
“It’s not stupid… they fucking traumatized you, babe. You can’t just get over it from one day to the next. It takes a lot of healing, but it’s possible.” Toni’s eyes carried so much sincerity and emotion, that Cheryl found it hard to react. The redhead simply wrapped her arms around her girlfriend, a sigh escaping her lips.
“I- I guess it’s worth a shot, right? I’m just sick and tired of living like this, and if there’s even a slim chance that it could help me, I want to give it a try.” She sighed; her fingers were toying with Toni’s hair, untangling her strands.
Toni couldn’t hide the surprise in her eyes. She slightly pulled away, cradling Cheryl’s face in her hands, running her thumb over the outline of her cheekbones. “Are you sure?”
Cheryl nodded, a small smile forming on her face. “Yes, I’m sure.”
The redhead leaned in, capturing Toni’s pillowy bottom lip between her own.
Cheryl slightly pulled away to leave a kiss on her girlfriends’ cheek. “Thank you for being so supportive.”
Cheryl pulled Toni even closer, feeling her girlfriend’s heartbeat against her own and she sighed, when the pink-haired girl left soft pecks on her forehead.
She was by no means healed, but maybe everything would be alright eventually. The journey ahead of her would not be easy, but she surly was on the right path. This was a huge step in the road of recovery. It was something. It was more than she had ever dared to dream about.
Here she was, nuzzled in Toni’s embrace, their legs intertwined, and she thought that maybe, just maybe, they could conquer the world together. After all, it was them against the world.