Actions

Work Header

Hunter x Hunter Domestic Series

Summary:

A random collection of domestic life from the perspective of the main four (note the main four is Leorio, Kurapika, Gon, and Killua) plus Alluka, Nanika, and Kalluto, and some other characters. There is no heavy angst here, no sad endings, just happy fluff, and the occasional hurt/comfort. The main ships will be Killugon and Leopika, as well as Amanary. This is set within the canon hxh universe.

Notes:

Hey guys, this is a new series! I'll be posting some family fluff here occasionally. Please note that I'm an anti, so if you're an anti anti or whatever the fuck please do not interact with me or my work. This is wholesome content!

This particular chapter is dedicated to jasmine, for introducing me to hxh and giving me the idea for the first chapter. She's really fucking funny and amazing, you can find her @zldyk on tumblr.

My tumblr is @hxhphobic (was pitoucore)

Chapter 1: papa can you braid my hair? (Alluka & Leorio)

Chapter Text

“Papa,”

Leorio sits at the table, eyes scanning over some patient files. Vaguely, he registers Alluka’s voice calling out, but he doesn’t quite realize she’s calling out for him.

“Papa,” she repeats in that sing-song voice that he swears could cure any ailment. He may or may not have gotten shitfaced one night and went on a rant about finding a way to bottle up her voice and sell it on the market as an anti-depressant.

‘On God Kurapika, we’d be millionaires.’

On the third ‘Papa’, he realizes that she’s talking to him. He still wasn’t used to being a dad; the finalization for the adoption papers had gone through three weeks before but it still hadn’t hit him. Although it was still kind of hard for Killua and Kalluto to call him anything but Leorio, Alluka had happily picked up the name.

He fucking loved it.

“Yes, angel?” He replied. She held up a brush and a few hair ties.

“Can you please braid my hair, Papa?”

She was bashful, still not accustomed to asking for things without the other person expecting anything in return. Smiling, he patted his leg and watched as she skipped to him. She perched herself on his leg, the tension dropping from her shoulders as he ran the brush through her locks.

“I made a friend at school today,” Alluka hummed. Leorio grinned, moving on to sectioning off her hair.

“Oh? How was it?”

“Her name is Emiko and she loved my artwork! We made plans to open up a gallery when we grow up since she wants to be a businesswoman!” Alluka replied, going on to regale the events of the day. He and Kurapika had been so worried about how she’d do in a new environment, but they should’ve known she’d excel. The girl was the personification of sweetness; it was only natural that people would gravitate to her.

After five more minutes, he was done, silently praising his braiding skills.

Alluka studied her reflection on the camera app on his phone, a smile spreading across her face. “Oh Papa, I love it! It’s my favorite braid ever!”

He smirked. “Your favorite, eh? How about sending this to Dad and Killua?”

“Yeah!” She cheered, an easy smile spreading across her face as he snapped the picture.

Me: she said it’s her fave braid ever. What was that on how I couldn’t do hair for shit?

Loml 🙄💕: she’s just being nice dumbass

Murder son #1🔪: looks like shit, are you trying to get her bullied?

Me: jealousy is a disease! Get well soon bitches xoxo

Smirking he turned back to Alluka, realizing she’d been talking to him the whole time.

“-And oh! Look at the grade I got on my essay!”

She shoved a piece of paper in his face, vaguely realizing it was the one he’d helped her with the week before. Pride filled him at the large red A+ scribbled on the corner, but that wasn’t what caught his eye.

Written on the left-hand corner of the paper, Alluka Paladiknight was proudly displayed.

“My teacher said she loved my prose and-Papa are you crying?”

He was indeed crying. Of course, they’d changed her last name (along with Killua and Kalluto’s) from the ever-threatening Zoldyck, and it wasn’t the first time he’d seen it on paper. But that fact that it was in her handwriting on something as minuscule and every day as her homework made him finally realize the gravity of the situation. He was a father, he was married to the love of his life, and he had three amazing children. He had a family, and for the first time in a long time, he wasn’t alone anymore.

“I-I’m fine, Alluka.” He replied, trying and failing to keep the tremor from his voice. When the look of concern didn’t drop from her features, he opened his arms up wide. She easily stepped into them, returning his embrace with a strong one of her own.

“I just...love you a lot, angel,” he whispered.

“I love you lots too, Papa,” she replied, a knowing smile on her face.

Chapter 2: Dog Antics (Main 4 + Kalluto, Alluka)

Summary:

The Paladiknight family gets a dog-without Kurapika's knowledge. Also, dog names are discussed (read: argued).

Notes:

Hey guys! This one was really fucking fun to write! I used to be @pitoucore on tumblr, but now I'm @hxhphobic

Thanks Jas @zldyk for the idea!!

Chapter Text

Kurapika was going to kill his husband.

 

Leorio stood nervously with their three kids and Gon. Alluka and Gon had the decency to look at least a little ashamed, while Killua and Kalluto proudly displayed their shit-eating grins. Leorio looked like he was about to pass out.

 

But they weren’t the ones who had Kurapika’s attention.

 

No, his eyes were firmly planted on the chow-husky mix who’s slobbery tongue hung from its mouth, saliva dripping onto his clean floors.

 

“H-hey, Pika! How was work today?”

 

Kurapika ignored his husband, eyes still focused on the dog. Was it actually licking its ass???

 

“There’s a dog there,” Kurapika replied instead.

 

“Astute observation, Pops,” Killua said sarcastically, barely flinching at Gon’s elbow meeting his gut as a warning. Kalluto snickered while Alluka groaned.

 

“Yeah! Well you see, we were out today and we saw this box of puppies-,”

 

“-They were soooo cute!” Alluka interjected, eyes shining. She knew exactly how to play Kurapika like a fiddle, and she wasn’t holding anything back. Their family dog was at stake here.

 

“-Just adorable. And when the kids saw Lego, they begged me, and I figured they’ve been so good lately-,”

 

“You named it?” Kurapika hissed, arms crossing. Leorio gulped. ‘ He’s pissed…’

 

Kalluto scoffed. “Of course not!” Kurapika sighed in relief. If the kids hadn’t named it yet, that meant they weren’t as attached. “His name is Hannibal,”

 

Fuck.

 

“We are not naming our cute dog after a cannibal , Kalluto.” Alluka snapped.

 

“It’s cool and menacing and original!” Kalluto argued. “Killua liked it,”

 

Killua rolled his eyes. “I tolerate it. I still like the name Gon picked out, Kon.”

 

“Of course you’re going to side with your boyfriend!” Alluka cried.

 

“Typical,” Kalluto snorted.

 

“We’re a united front, guys,” Killua muttered, not masking his lovesick gaze towards the other teen. Gon blushed, muttering ‘thanks’ under his breath.

 

“You sound like you’re married. You’re fifteen .” Kalluto grumbled. Alluka rolled her eyes in agreement.

 

Leorio pinched the bridge of his nose, trying and failing to ward off the forming headache. “You idiots are not helping our case at all.

 

Meanwhile, Kurapika studied Lego/Hannibal/Kon, who was currently sniffing out something that was under the couch. A second later, an ugly black spider scurried out from its hiding spot, making the hairs on the back of Kurapika’s neck stand. Even after all these years, his aversion to spiders never got any less intense, and his fight or flight instincts kicked into full gear.

 

But, right as he was about to kick into action, the dog simply growled at it before licking it into its mouth and happily chomping down on it. Once it was done getting rid of the offending creature, it sat back in satisfaction and let its tongue lull out of its mouth once more, brown eyes locking onto Kurapika’s own.

 

“-The dog isn’t even Gon’s ,” Kalluto was arguing. “Why should he get a say?”

 

“Because he practically lives here anyway!” Killua shouted. “Also we’re a package deal so his vote counts as much as mine does.”

 

“Bullshit!” Kalluto and Alluka shouted in unison.

 

“It’s not bullshit, it’s healthy for us to make decisions together if our relationship is going to succeed!” Gon insisted. “At least, that’s what the couple’s counseling book said…”

 

“It is good practice for a relationship,” Leorio mused, eyes flitting to the still worked up Kurapika.

 

“You people are hopeless and Nanika agrees.” Alluka huffed.

 

Kalluto was about to offer a rebuttal when Kurapika’s chuckle resounded throughout the divided household, effectively stopping the arguments. “I like him,” Kurapika said. He turned to his stunned family. “We can keep him, but taking care of him will be split up evenly among us, including Gon,”

 

The response was immediate joy and agreement, four kids barreling towards him and knocking him to the ground.

 

“Thanks, dad!” Killua cried.

 

Heart swelling, he hugged back. “No problem. Now, onto the next problem…”

 

Silence. And then.

 

“Figuring out the dog’s name. I can tell you right now that Hannibal is off of the table,”

 

“Fuck,” Kalluto mumbled, glowering at Allluka’s cheer of victory.

 

Leorio helped his husband off of the ground while the kids resumed their argument. The dog nuzzled Kurapika’s hand and he absentmindedly gave the dog affection.

 

“So,” Leorio grinned, leaning down and planting a kiss on the blonde’s cheek. “Am I still screwed?”

 

Kurapika laughed, pulling the taller man down by the collar and planting a slew of kisses on his lips. Pulling away from his lips, he got close to Leorio’s ear. “Oh you absolutely are, my love.”

 

Leorio frowned. “Figures,”

 

“Okay fine, can I name him after someone I really admire?” Kalluto inquired.

 

The three looked at him warily. “Who would that be?”

 

Kalluto flushed slightly, mumbling his reply. “I say we name him Pika.”

 

Kurapika felt his cheeks warm.

 

“Yeah, that’s cute!” Alluka replied.

 

Killua and Gon exchanged looks before nodding. “We’re fine with that,” Killua replied.

 

“I’m honored, Kalluto,” Kurapika said.

 

He was still going to kill his husband. But seeing the look on his kids’ faces, he couldn’t find it in himself to be angry anymore. Plus, Pika was pretty cute, and he killed spiders. What more could he ask for?

--------

BONUS:

 

Kalluto sat on the porch, Pika sat beside him snoring peacefully. Alluka, Gon, and Killua shuffled out to join the pair, lounging near the dog so they could pet him.

 

As Gon and Alluka cooed over the pup, Killua leaned over to his little brother, signature smirk in place.

 

“Lemme guess, ‘Pika’ is actually short for ‘Pikachu’.”

 

“...Please don’t tell dad.”

Chapter 3: Forests and Breakdowns and Confessions, oh my! (killugon)

Summary:

Killua and Gon get a nasty reminder of the past, but this time they're there for each other. my first hurt/comfort fic for this series!

Notes:

warnings: panic attacks, ptsd, one mention of suicide. don't worry tho, it has a happy ending bc these poor boys deserve it! also, we're playing spot the parallels in this chapter. writing is fun!
Follow me on tumblr @hxhphobic

*this chapter contains heavy spoilers for the chimera+chairman arcs. sorry i haven't been adding spoiler warnings!

Chapter Text

There is a forest on the edge of the Paladiknight’s property that Killua cannot look at.

He does not venture in the forest like his siblings do; he does not take evening strolls through the worn down dirt paths like his parents. He finds it bothersome, treacherous, foreboding. There is something unnatural about the way the trees sway and the creatures frolic.

"But Killua,” Nanika sings, “It’s just a forest! It’s so pretty and Kalluto found the cutest frogs the other day-”

“It's wrong,” Killua replies. He hardly ever cuts her off, if ever, but there’s something about that damn forest that gets to him. “It’s dark and dense and bad .”

Nanika studies him for a moment. “If you say so,” her words do not match the knowing lilt of her voice, as if she knows something about his disdain for the forest that he hasn’t quite caught onto yet.

It was a cursed place.

And then Gon came to visit.

“Oh this is so cool!” he cried when his eyes caught sight of the dense foliage lining the property. ‘ As if he didn’t just come from Whale fucking Island, which is forest fucking galore.’ Killua thinks in annoyance. But as Gon’s sunny face turned to him, his cheeks burned in shame (and slight giddiness) from his obviously ecstatic look.

Jesus, what’s wrong with me and that forest?’

“Let’s go ‘sploring! You probably know the best spots!” Gon said, finality in his tone apparent. There wasn’t a forest on earth that Gon Freecs wouldn’t explore, and this one was no different.

Kalluto and Alluka exchanged looks of unease, both siblings aware of Killua’s heavy aversion and loathing of said forest. Neither of them knew why, save for Nanika, but whenever Alluka inquired as to why he hated it, Nanika would just reply with a knowing ‘It’s just something he has to work out on his own, don’t worry.’

“Oh, uh, big brother doesn’t really like to-”

“Yeah sure, whatever you wanna do, Gonny Test,” Killua interrupted her easily, dropping the nickname Gon hated to distract him from the obvious tension. ‘I need to get over this shit. I can’t keep beefing with a fucking forest , especially when my entire family hangs out in it. Gon can help me.’

However, Gon was not an idiot, so he picked up on it even before Alluka had spoken. After his eyes shifted between the three siblings he shrugged, scowling at the nickname.

“On God, if you keep calling me that imma have to punt you into the lake,”

Killua silently thanked him for not hounding them on what was going on, before letting his lips curl into a smirk. “You’d have to catch me first, Gonny ,”

Kalluto and Alluka watched as the boys raced to the tree line, warily wondering whether they should follow.

Before either could move, however, Alluka heard Nanika’s voice in her head. “Let them go. Killua needs this. They both need this,”

“What’d she say?” Kalluto asked. The family had picked up on the times when the two girls communicated, as Alluka would get a glossy, distant look in her eyes whenever they did.

Alluka blinked rapidly, Kalluto’s voice bringing her back. “She said to let them go. She thinks they both need this. Whatever the hell that means,”

Kalluto shrugged. “She always knows best,”

"I sure do,” Nanika replied smugly.

Alluka rolled her eyes.

------

At first, Killua was fine and chastised himself for not venturing into the woods sooner.

‘See of course I’m fine. I’ve been in plenty of woods in my life. Even when I lived in the deepest pit of hell I was surrounded by forests. Why did I avoid this one so much?’

But as they got deeper, the darkness closed in on him.

Suddenly he wasn’t sixteen-years-old and neither was Gon. They were no longer walking in the forest behind the Paladiknight property. Leorio, Kurapika, and his siblings weren’t waiting for them back home in their cottage.

No, suddenly he was fourteen and wandering the obsidian colored forests of East Gorteau. Suddenly he was at war and he was just discovering how deeply in love with his best friend he was and the weight of the world was in his hands. No, not just the world. His world. Gon was going on about saving Kite, and the anxiety clawing at his chest was suddenly the most fearsome creature he’d ever faced.

“Oh, we have these plants on Whale Island! Though, you have to go into the center of the woods where the foxbears live, which is why I’m the only one sent to pick the berries-Killua what’s wrong?”

Midramble, Gon noticed Killua had paused in his tracks and was clutching at a tree, his claws protruding and sticking into the bark. Sweat and tears had accumulated on his cheeks and dripped down his nose, pooling on the other hand that clung to his mouth to stop the sobs. Unsure of what to do, Gon hovered near Killua’s fragile body, recognizing the state his best friend was in.

How many times had Gon had a panic attack since he woke up from his coma-no, death bed - two years prior? Too many times to count. He knew that each person responded to touch and sound differently during panic attacks, and while he liked to be smothered by Mito-san or Aunt Oito to be grounded, he had an inkling suspicion that Killua would not like that.

“Killua,” Gon repeated, desperately waving off the panic that threatened to seep into his tone. The last thing Killua needed was to feel Gon’s panic as well. “ Killua ,”

Killua’s eyes snapped to his own, and Gon took a step back in shock. Killua looked feral , poised in a fighting stance but also looking like his knees were about to give in. ‘ Okay, good call on not touching him.’ Gon thinks. ‘He’d probably fucking kill me right now.’

When Killua meets Gon’s eyes, he sees long flowing hair and taut muscles that no fourteen-year-old should ever possess. He sees a severed arm and splatterings of blue that belong to an unholy creature.

“Gon,” Killua spits out, “Gon, please . You can’t use that much nen. You’ll die .”

'Oh, so that’s where his mind took him.’ Gon feels it, the guilt swelling in his chest and threatening to overtake him.

“Killua,” Gon keeps his voice as steady as possible. “Killua I’m okay! We’re in the forest behind your house. We are both sixteen. You got a C on your English exam and you’re fucking pissed, remember? Alluka has a crush on her friend Emiko and I’m trying to figure out ways to talk you out of running a background check on a fucking fourteen-year-old. Please, Killua, come back to me,”

Killua blinks up at him. English test? Alluka? How does Gon know Alluka? She’s back at home-

It all comes back to him then, and his surroundings become painfully familiar. His puts his claws away and steels himself to look at Gon.

Gon, who at the young age of twelve had taught Killua that there was more to life than death and blood and horror. Gon, who took his bloody, sinful hands in his clean and pure ones like he was holding treasure. Gon, who Killua had loved even before he’d figured out what love was.

Gon, who destroyed himself and in the process destroyed some of Killua as well.

“Killua,” Gon, who said his name like he was honored to ever utter it. “Are you okay?”

Gon, who died not once, not twice, but several times in Killua’s arms.

Gon, who gave parts of himself to others so they could be whole.

Gon, who’s skin shriveled up and blackened until he looked like he’d never even been a human, to begin with.

Gon, who pushed away Killua and denied him the lovers’ suicide he so desperately wanted.

Gon, who showed Killua the ugliest part of himself in a forest much like this one, on a night as clear as this.

‘I fucking hate this forest.’

“We should go back,” Killua says instead, swiftly turning on his heel so that he wouldn’t have to face Gon. “I’m fine,” he adds for good measure.

He doesn’t know what the expect. Will Gon continue to pester him? Will Gon follow along and switch topics? Will Gon go back to Whale Island?

What Gon does, is sob.

At first, Killua thinks it’s just Gon clearing his throat, probably ready to chew him out. But then another long wail rips out of Gon’s throat. Flabbergasted, Killua turns to look back at Gon, who clutches at his chest like he wants to rip away the agony but can’t.

“I’m so, so sorry ,”

The forest is silent around them like it’s granting them this moment of peace to work things out.

“Gon,” Killua’s voice trembles, but he makes no effort to hide it. “I know. I forgave you a long time ago. Hell, it wasn’t even really your fault,”

He cautiously approaches Gon, taking slow and measured steps so as to not startle him. Gon takes a step back, shaking his head rapidly.

“Stop! Stop, I don’t deserve your comfort, okay? I don’t...I don’t deserve any of it. I was so god damn stupid, thinking that my own destruction would affect just me. I honestly thought I was doing you, and Mito, and everyone else a fucking favor. I thought no one else would mind me paying for my sins. But I just hurt you. I can’t do anything !”

Gon screams the last part and drops to his knees, the weight of his emotions pushing him down, down until his head touched the ground and long drawn out sobs poured from his mouth. How long had he been holding this in?

Killua lowers himself to the ground and gathers his friend in his arms. Gon tries to fight him off, pushing at his chest and trying to squirm away, but Killua wants to show Gon that his comfort is more than deserved. So he held him in a vice-like grip, hoping that his love would wash over Gon.

Eventually, Gon stops fighting and lets himself fall into Killua’s taller frame, sobs quieting down to soft sniffles. His face is buried in the crook of Killua’s neck, but neither boy can find it in themselves to care.

“First of all, dumbass,” Killua begins. “Didn’t I just say that I forgave you? Gon, I know the amount of pressure you were under. All of the shitty adults we were surrounded by mounted all of the weight of their burdens onto us. We were just fourteen years old. Avenging Kite shouldn’t have ever been left to you,” Killua can feel the words of protest begging to come from Gon’s lips, so he decides to barrel on before the impending interruption.

“Gon, my panic attack just now was something that I have to work through, okay? Yes, it’s about you but it wasn’t your fucking fault. I know that. It’s just being in this forest…,”

“It looks like the forest in East Gorteau,” Gon finishes. “Trust me, I noticed the similarities from the moment we walked in here. I...I almost stopped and looked for Pitou, to be honest,”

Killua tensed. He’d done the exact same thing. “Yeah. It just triggered me, but, Gon, I honestly don’t blame you. I know you’re sorry,”

“Still...I heard you that night in the forest. I heard you begging for me to wake up. To come back to you. And I tried, I really did. But my eyes,” Gon takes in a breath, tears still spilling onto his tanned cheeks. “They wouldn’t move. It’s like I was trapped within my own mind, unable to do anything. When you started begging and pleading and sobbing ...I tried to come back to you. To apologize. To hold you and never ever fucking let go. I never got to tell you how much I lo-” Gon stops then. ‘Now’s not the time for confessions.’

Killua blinks. Gon had heard him? Heard the yelling and the cursing? Did that mean-

“I felt you restart my heart over and over again. If I couldn’t tell you I was fighting to stay alive, I wanted to at least show you. And all I could think about was all the things I would say to you once I woke up. I had a million and one apologies that I was determined to make to you,”

Killua goes to pinch the bridge of his nose to try to center himself but is surprised when his hand is met with liquid. He’d started crying again without realizing it.

“Gon, I-,” Killua was at a loss. What was he supposed to say back? He wishes they’d had this conversation sooner, wishes that neither of them had to carry this around with them for two years. But it’s happening now, and he was thankful. He’d been living with too many regrets in his short life, and he was done carrying more. “I felt it,”

Nothing more is said as Killua holds his best friend in his arms, letting two years worth of inner turmoil and heartbreak be washed away by hope and...love. Unparalleled love.

“Bro...we are fucking sick. We need to see a sicatries,” Gon said, purposefully mispronouncing it to match the damn meme Killua had sent him and effectively ruining the tender silence.

Killua could hear the grin on Gon’s mouth, but he just let out a choked laugh.

“We sure do, Gonny Test.” Killua murmured, stroking his hand down Gon’s back and muffling his protests by smothering him further into Killua’s neck. Gon retaliated by licking the skin, causing Killua to sputter in disgust and push away the now laughing boy. “BAKA! That’s fucking gross,”

Killua helped Gon up, despite his slight annoyance with the shorter boy. Gon’s face was adorned by a soft smile and rosy cheeks, and if Killua hadn’t witnessed his earlier breakdown he wouldn’t have thought anything was wrong.

They make their way back to the cottage, two different and lighter boys, Killua silently dreading Leorio’s wrath at not coming home in time for dinner.

“I fucking slave away over the stove top for a whole half hour just so that you can come back during too-fucking-late o’clock and just eat a snack before bed? Am I a joke to you?”

To which Killua would reply with. “ I’d answer that but I don’t like hurting your feelings,”

Which would earn him a, “Well you can scavenge for leftover fast food in dumpsters because I’m giving my gourmet cooking to someone who appreciates it!”

Followed by a “ Sweetheart, you just make frozen dinners and add a little salt half of the time,” by an amused Kurapika (who really shouldn’t be talking because he can’t cook for shit either).

“Kurapika” Leorio would respond, face red and volume louder than any human being should be able to achieve. “It’s the fucking principle of the matter!”

He loved his family.

They’re almost walking onto the porch when a part of Gon's speech springs into his mind.

Wait, had Gon almost admitted that he loved him?

Had Gon-wait, what was his middle name-Freecs (nearly) admit to Killua Paladiknight that he loved him??

"Ne, Gon," Killua says, mouth sprinting ahead of his brain.

“Yeah, Killua?”

Well shit. Now or never I guess. Okay, buddy, in and out.  "I would've said it back to you," Killua says. His tone was fragile, so fragile that even glass had nothing on it. "Because I...I feel it too, Gon."

Gon blinks in confusion before he catches onto what Killua was referring to, and for the first time Gon is the one rendered speechless with a crimson blush. Killua wants to throw one of Gon’s ‘Cat got your tongue?’ comments back into his face, but the pure elation that breaks out across his tanned face makes his plan backfire, as Killua’s own blush becomes more pronounced.

“Well, good,” Gon grins. “Because it would suck if you didn’t,”

Killua was about to reply when the front door swings open and Leorio’s eyes land on the teens, a scowl instantly painting itself on his face.

Here we go.

“Hello, Gon,” Leorio greets before turning back to Killua.

“Hey, Leorio!” Gon chirps, unaware of what was to come.

Leorio allows himself to grin at Gon before his attention turns back to the smirking Killua. Killua bites back the giggle that threatens to sneak out at the literal steam pouring out of Leorio’s ears.

“I fucking slave away over the stove top-,”

Distantly, Killua thinks, 'Maybe the forest isn’t so bad.’

Chapter 4: Happy Birthday, Gon!!

Summary:

It's Gon Freecs birthday, so celebrations are in order. Gon reflects on some of his birthdays-good and bad-and makes new memories that will last a lifetime.

Warnings: mentions of ptsd, panic attacks, light angst

*this chapter does contain greed island + chimera ant + chairman selection arc spoilers

Notes:

this was so fun to write, i fucking love Gon. everyone thank strawberry blonde by Mitski for this chapter.

follow me on tumblr @hxhphobic

Chapter Text

May 5th.

Gon Freecs looks at the calendar, dismay and self-loathing settling into his bones. He doesn’t know why his heart feels heavier today-he’d carried around these dark feelings ever since-no. It was his birthday, and Mito-san told him to enjoy it.

And yet, as the bottom of his feet met the cool floors of his room, he could not find the strength within himself to be positive.

Staring at himself in the mirror, his eyes ran over the scars on his arms and chest. It wasn’t the scars themselves that he hated (he actually thought they looked cool) rather what they represented. How they got there.


 

Punch. Punch. Punch. Breathe. Punch. Punch. Punch.

The violence overflowed from his fists onto the battered body of the chimera ant below him. He’s just so hateful, it’s something he’s never experienced before. There was a part of him begging, pleading, praying to stop. Telling him that this wasn’t healthy and that he needed to think about all the people waiting for him. But the bigger, in control part of him, told him to keep going. To let all the resentment and anger and hatred out on this creature. That whatever consequences came from this he deserved because he had failed and he was worthless.

Worthless, worthless, worthless.

“GON!”

Killua? Oh god, what was he doing?


 

When he’d woken up from his coma, a month later, Killua’s smile had been strained. He was elated and hugged Gon’s body close, close, so close until they were almost one, but he couldn’t quite look Gon in the eyes the same way. Of course, this had all been resolved when Gon and Killua were sixteen, but the guilt wasn’t something that went away with one tearful conversation, or even months of therapy; it was a constant, it lingered in every crevice of his body and made its presence known at the most inopportune times.

Like his birthday, for example.

When Gon was little, he recalled his birthday as the best day of the year, simply because Mito-san and Abe would shut down the shop just for the day and spend it with him. They’d even venture into the woods with him, albeit not as deep as he would when he was alone. He’d eat his favorite meals and fall asleep in his Aunts’ arms.

Then he met Killua and things changed.


 

On his thirteenth birthday, he was on Greed Island, bones tired but spirit invigorated. They’d spent the day like any other, training their nen and strategizing ways to gather the necessary cards to win the game. The only difference was that Bisky had stopped training early and got out a special card that contained sweets for him. They’d spent the rest of the day exploring some of the woods near where they were camped and munching on the food.

"Oi, Gon,” Killua said, the silence of the night making everything more intimate and fragile.

Gon shifted to look at his best friend, faintly thinking that Killua’s shining eyes rivaled the starlight encasing them. “Yeah?”

“Happy birthday, baka,” Killua muttered. “I’m...I’m really lucky I know you,”

Gon didn’t get any birthday presents that year. He was dirty, tired, and missed home. And yet, he couldn’t help but think it was the best damn birthday he’d had in a long time.


 

Sighing in reverence at the memory, Gon slipped into the bathroom and decided a long hot shower might be enough to wash the stress and heartache from his heart. Under the spray of hot water and the steam dancing around him, he remembers his worst birthday.


 

“Gon?”

Mito?

“Gon...I...I’m so, so, sorry,” Mito sobbed. He could distantly feel her small hand encasing his large, scarred one, and he panics at her having to see him like...well, he wasn't sure what he looked like, but he was sure it wasn’t pretty.

'No, Mito-san,’ he thinks. ‘I’m sorry. That I wasn’t strong enough…’

“I shouldn’t have ever let you leave,” She’d let go of his hand now, probably not being able to stand his grotesque figure. Later on, she’d tell him it was because a doctor reprimanded her, not wanting any of the bacteria on her skin to make him sick. But at that moment, all he could feel was self-disgust. “I should’ve made you stay, should’ve tried to convince you that your father is an utter asshole ,”

She pauses, trying to keep herself from getting worked up. It doesn’t work. “Then maybe you wouldn’t have put all these burdens on yourself. Maybe we’d be exploring and Grandma would be telling you all these embarrassing stories about me. Maybe Killua and your friends, Leorio and Kurapika, would be there and you’d show them all your favorite spots and you’d...you’d...you would be a kid and alive and would know nothing of war and horror and heartache,”

"I can’t help but feel like I’ve failed you. Please, Gon, please wake up!” Mito shouted, her emotions bubbling over. She was in hysterics, tiny hands gripping at him again and begging him to wake up. She was being dragged away, and Gon cursed himself for not having the strength to wake up, to reach out for her and tell her how utterly wrong she was, how he was the asshole, how she’d done nothing but show him love and affection. But he just laid there, unmoving and utterly worthless.

‘I’m sorry, Mito-san,”


 

He only came back to reality when his skin registered the water had gone from a delicious burn to an icy one, so he shut it off and finished getting ready.

The Paladiknight’s were going to head up to Whale Island for his birthday and stay a couple of days. They only lived two islands away, an hour at most by boat, but Leorio was so busy with his clinic and the kids with school, that they didn’t get a chance to spend as much time together as they’d like.

Making sure to look at least somewhat presentable, he makes his way downstairs where Mito and Oito stood side-by-side cooking the large meal they’d all feast on that night.

“Gon! Good morning, sweetie,” Mito grinned, quickly pulling him in a hug. He towered over her now, much to her dismay. She laid a kiss on his jawline (which was the only thing she could reach on her tippy toes) and patted his chest.

“Mornin’ ladies,” He grinned, hugging Oito before scooping up Wobble in his arms and squeezing the four-year-old. She squealed and poked at his face, demanding to be let down. He did- not before planting a kiss on her forehead- and moved onto his great-grandmother. She made him help her climb on a chair so she could (barely) tower over him.

“Just because you’re two times bigger than me now, doesn’t mean you’re immune to being kept in line by me, mister” she reminded him, before pressing a wet kiss to his forehead.

“Yes, great-grandmother,” He replied solemnly, but the grin he sported did not match his tone.

The day passed by rather quick, with Gon helping his family prepare for the arrival of the Paladiknights’ (and making sure Wobble didn’t wander outside and cause havoc while they were all distracted) until it was time for him to pick up their guests from the port.

The walk there wasn’t long, fifteen minutes at most, but that was long enough for his mind to wander again. His fifteenth birthday came to mind, which admittedly...had a rocky start. While he and Killua had made sure to keep in touch after parting ways at the World Tree, their relationship had been slightly strained. They talked weekly, but it was obvious things were different.


 

He was fifteen today.

Vaguely he remembers a conversation with Killua on his thirteenth birthday where they’d talked about where they’d be two years down the road.

“With you, of course!” Gon had answered, with all the confidence of a boy who’s spirit had not yet been broken by the realities of life.

Killua had given him a very Killua response. “Tch, baka. We can’t be joined at the hip for the rest of our lives,” Gon didn’t miss the pink tinge to Killua’s ears and cheeks, nor the smile threatening to break through his carefully constructed facade of indifference.

Gon had just grinned. “If it’s with Killua, I wouldn’t mind it,”

His mind and heart would never forget the look of adoration Killua had given him; how his cerulean eyes had filled with something akin to pure love and slight disbelief. Gon hoped his eyes conveyed his conviction.

Killua’s blush darkened against his cheeks, but for once he didn’t try to play it off. “Yeah? Well if it was with you then...I don’t think I’d mind either,”

But now two years later, and Killua was somewhere in Yorknew with Alluka. He’d texted Gon a, “Happy birthday, baka! I sent something in the mail that should be there in a few days, so don’t think I forgot. Miss you :)” with a picture of himself and Alluka posed in front of a tulip garden attached.

Gon sobbed.

Mito found him on his knees, phone clutched tight to his chest and the tears dripped down his face. She rushed to his side and dropped down to cuddle him into her chest, despite the fact that he’d hit a growth spurt sometime that year and was taller than her.

“I...I wish there wasn’t this...god damn distance between us!” Gon wailed. “I could handle the physical distance, you know? Because there isn’t an ocean or landmass I wouldn’t cross for him, but this, this emotional distance is something I don’t know how to handle!”

Mito didn’t know what to say. Sure, she wasn’t stupid and knew he’d have obvious trauma from the events of the Chimera Ant War. He dealt with nightmares that had him waking up and screaming, panic attacks, dissociation, depression, etc. She, Oito, and Abe had gone to therapy with him in order to learn how to better help him.

But this was new, this was something he’d never talked about before. Killua and Alluka had come and visited a few times, and they’d all seemed fine. But apparently, there was something deeper there, something that even she hadn’t seen.

"I fucked up, Mito-san,” Gon hiccuped. “I hurt him. I didn’t mean to do it- I thought I was sparing him. But I fucking hurt him and now I feel like we’re drifting apart and the tighter I hold onto him, the faster he slips away,”

“Gon, look at me,” He does, after wiping his tears away. “Everyone hurts the ones they love. Everyone. Lord knows I’ve made mistakes that I would give anything to take back. But that is part of life and love, my darling. Do you love him?”

She, of course, knew the answer. It was in the way Gon talked about him, the way he looked at him, the way he touched him. If that wasn’t love, then Mito didn’t know what love was.

Gon smiled bitterly. “I’ve loved him ever since we were twelve,”

“And do you think he loves you back?”

This, Mito knew the answer to as well. The way Killua stared at him when no one was looking, the way he protected Gon, hell, even the way he called him ‘baka’ screamed love.

Gon bites his lip. “He did. Now, I’m not sure,”

Her heart broke. “Gon, he loves you. He loved you then and he loves you now. I have a sense about these things, trust me,”

Gon sniffled, but a grin broke through. “Yeah?”

She gave him a faux look of offense. “How many times do I have to tell you that I’m never wrong?”

He laughed and hugged her close. As low as he was feeling, he was also glad to be in her arms once again. ‘Better than last year’ he thinks.

A few days later, Killua’s present arrives in the mail, and Gon feels his heart swell. It’s an album full of pictures of their adventures, as well as some new ones from when Alluka and Killua had come to visit. The very last one is a picture of Leorio, Kurapika, and the two of them that they’d taken in Yorknew. It’s the note under that picture that makes Gon break down again, albeit for a different reason this time.

‘Dear baka,

I hope you had a great birthday. Tell Mito that she needs to make a move on Oito before I come down there and play matchmaker. I really miss you, Gon. I hope you don’t ever doubt how important you are to me.

Killua

P.S. I still wouldn’t mind.

When Mito reads the note later that night, she shoots him a smug grin. “What did I say? I’m never wrong,”

Gon laughed. “You’re never wrong,”

“And I never will be,”


 

“Gon?”

Gon realizes that he’d been spaced off for the past ten minutes, but thankfully his feet had taken him to the right place. Alluka is in front of him, a wide smile on her face. She’d grown a lot since he’d last seen her (even though that just meant she was Kurapika’s height now) and gotten a lot stronger in her nen training if her aura was anything to go by.

“Hey, ‘Luka!”

One by one, he hugged all the members of the Paladiknight family, even Kalluto, who shot him a shy smile and a soft ‘Happy birthday, dumbass,’

Finally, his eyes landed on Killua, who held a small box protectively to his chest. An ever-present blush sprung up to his cheeks as Gon wrapped him up in his arms and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Happy birthday, dummy. Oi, don’t crush the fucking present before I have a chance to give it to you!” Killua snapped.

Gon snickered before hugging Killua closer to his chest. “Sorry, I just missed you so much, babe,”

“On God, I will kill you,” Killua growled. He hated pet names, which is why Gon showered him with them as much as possible. Bonus points if Kalluto and Alluka were present, double bonus points if they were in public. Usually, Gon wouldn’t push his buttons this much, but it was his birthday and he knew Killua would let him get away with it just this once. Truthfully, Gon didn’t care for them either, but making Killua squirm in embarrassment was too good to pass up.

"But honey bunches of love it’s my birthday,” Gon mock pouted.

Kalluto and Alluka outright laughed, Killua’s ears burning in humiliation and...wait was that endearment?

“Whatever you say... darling ,”

Gon frowned. “It’s no fucking fun if you don’t threaten me with bodily harm,”

It was Killua’s turn to snicker. “I know,”

The trip to Gon’s house was filled with laughter and reminiscing. Leorio caught Gon up on his ever-growing clinic, Kurapika regaled tales of PTA drama, and the three kids complained about school.

Finally, they reached the house and the next few hours slowly wiped Gon of the painful memories. Leorio and Alluka played with Wobble, Kalluto and Killua arm-wrestled, Kurapika spilled more PTA drama with Mito, Oito, and Abe, and Gon flitted between family members.

A couple of hours later, Gon found himself sitting in his backyard, eyes glued onto the ocean. He’d just opened up his presents; basically consisting of new gear for his return to the Hunter world. Killua had unsurprisingly refused to give him his present, stating that he wanted privacy. Which is why Gon had wandered outside when things died down, knowing that Killua would follow him.

A presence settled down beside him; Killua’s arm easily coming around Gon’s shoulder. A box was pressed into Gon’s hands.

“Happy birthday,” Killua repeated for the tenth time that night. But his tone held nervous energy.

Curious, Gon ripped at the wrapping and gasped when he was presented with a box that contained a ring.

“It’s not a wedding ring,” Killua quickly cut in, before Gon could get any ideas.

“I know that,” He totally did not know that.

Killua rolled his eyes. “Sure you did. It’s...it’s a promise ring,”

Gon looked down at the ring, heart twisting in many different ways. Killua brought his left hand up and slipped on a matching ring. “R-remember when we were at the World Tree and you said that no matter where we went, we’d always be friends?”

How could he forget? He had to stop and sob at the bottom of the tree when he was convinced Killua and Alluka couldn’t see him. As much as he’d known they’d needed the temporary separation; it didn’t make it hurt any less. Especially when they’d both obviously walked away without releasing any of the words trapped on their tongues. His eyes burned a little bit.

“Yeah, of course,”

“And...and when we were thirteen and you said you wouldn’t mind staying by my side forever?”

Gon smiled. “I still mean it,”

“And I still wouldn’t mind,” Killua replied, eyes shining. “But realistically, we can’t do that. S-so I got you this ring as a reminder that...though we can’t always be attached at the hip physically, we are in each other’s hearts,”

Okay, that did it. Gon let out the small sob and hugged Killua close. For once, Killua didn’t call him an idiot or playfully tell him to stop crying. He just matched the intensity of Gon’s hug.

“I love you, Gon. So much. And when we’re apart...it hurts,”

“I love you too, Killua! I’ve loved you since we were twelve and you really believed girls had cooties,”

This made Killua push Gon away. “Baka, you know my egg donor was fucking nuts,”

Gon laughed. “Little did she know you were gay,”

Killua grinned. “So fucking gay,”

May 5th

Gon Freecs told his guilt and trauma to go fuck themselves, as he slipped on the promise ring the love of his life had gifted him. Love and affection flooded his system, settling in his bones. So long as he had his family and his love by his side, he was pretty sure his past had nothing on him.

Chapter 5: Happy Birthday, Killua!

Summary:

It's Killua's birthday! This is a snapshot of some of his favorite ones!

Notes:

Hey guys!

Sorry, I know it's been a minute since I posted. I wanted to post for pride but some life stuff got in the way and it was only recently that I got myself put together again. By the way, I do read y'all's comments and I really love them! So thank you so much <3

Warnings: none
Spoilers: slight greed island arc spoilers but it's light.

Chapter Text

July 7th.

Killua is thirteen.

 “Training today was brutal,” Killua whines. He doesn’t think he’d ever felt this sore before, not even training with his demonic family. But he understands that strengthening his nen would be worth it if only so he could better protect Gon.

 “Yeah but we’re getting better! Plus, Bisky let us stop early because it’s your birthday!” Gon, ever the optimist somehow doesn’t look like how his body probably feels. Instead of feeling annoyed by this, Killua finds himself feeling strangely happy.

 “Yeah, we even get to eat sweets today, like we did on your birthday,” Killua looks down at the assortment of chocolates in front of them, his mouth beginning to water.

 They spend the day like they spent Gon’s birthday; eating, exploring, and playing around. Bisky watches from a distance with a smile on her face, only partaking in the activities when the boys’ make the mistake of challenging her to something.

 Later that night, they lay on their backs while Gon points out constellations to Killua. He was tired, but in a good way, the kind of tired that normal kids his age would probably feel after a day spent of fun. He frowns, realizing that this is the first birthday he’s had that wasn’t spent…hating himself.

 “Ne, Killua?”

 Killua looks over to Gon, who’s honey-suckled eyes never fail to make Killua yearn for something he can’t quite understand yet. “Yeah?”

 “Are you okay?”

 He doesn’t answer right away, choosing to instead cast his eyes back up to the heavens. After a moment of tracing the constellations with his eyes, he finally answers.

 “I feel…happy. I’ve never had a birthday quite like this,” Gon doesn’t reply to that, probably wondering what fresh hell the Zoldyck family put him through. But he doesn’t want Gon, his light, thinking about such an abysmal thing. “So…thanks, I guess. For giving me the best birthday ever,”

 Gon gets that stupid dopey grin on his face, the one that warns of incoming sentiment. “Of course, Killua! You deserve more than you allow yourself, you know,”

 “Yeah?”

 “Without a doubt,”

 Maybe you’re right. I’ve got you, after all.

 

//

  July 7th.

Killua is eighteen.

 He wakes to the sound of Alluka, Kalluto, and Gon shrieking happy birthday in voices that sound not unlike what a pterodactyl probably sounded like. Killua distantly wonders how bad the consequences of jumping out the window and running into the forest until his birthday was over would be.

 Not worth Leorio’s lecture and Kurapika whining over replacing the glass. He decides. Plus Gon would find me and drag me back anyway. Though, with his siblings’ and boyfriends’ smiles, he finds it easy to ignore the anxiety.

 “-happy birthday to you!”

“Morning, fuckers,” He says.

They respond by doggy piling on top of him. It seems that their goal this morning is to annoy him, and by God are they succeeding. 

“Happy birthday-,”

“Dumbass,” From Kalluto.

“Onii-chan!” From Alluka.

“Killua!” From Gon. Since he’s nearest to Killua, he finishes it with a peck on Killua’s cheek, trying and failing to hide the snicker that comes out of him at seeing Killua’s crimson face.

They finally get up to release Killua, only for Kurapika and Leorio to come into the room, followed by Pika, the family dog.

“So, you’re old now,” Leorio grins, setting down a plate of food on Killua’s lap.

Killua rolls his eyes. “I’m still young at heart,”

“How does it feel?” Kurapika inquires.

How does it feel? Well, for starts Killua never imagined himself at eighteen. Not because he thought he’d be dead (though that was a very real possibility) but because the concept of time and the future has always been such an unknown variable to him. The rare times he did think about them, he was always met with a feeling of dread and insecurity.

When he met Gon, that dread had morphed into a weird amalgamation of hope and despair. Hope, because with Gon anything good seemed possible, despair because anything good in his life was sure to be destroyed whether it be by his own hand or his family. Yet, he had found himself dreaming about what could be, so long as Gon was by his side.

Then, he gained Alluka and Nanika and Kalluto, and the despair gave way to a stronger sense of hope. Especially with Illumi gone and his family seemingly staying out of his life. There were times where he waited for the other shoe to drop, for Silva to show up and snatch away his family. But it never happened, and he was starting to think (pray) it never would.

Now that he was an adult, now that he had reached the age that seemed so impossible to him when he was a child, he was a little overwhelmed. He had so many options, so many decisions to make.

“I feel…I feel like I can do anything I want, so long as I’ve got you guys,” It was incredibly cheesy, and something he would never normally say, but he’d grown up a lot from that reserved and repressed twelve-year-old. He was better at showing his emotions, though at times drinking vinegar seemed more appealing than showing them.

“Aw!” Alluka squealed, smothering him in a hug.

“We love you a lot!” Gon added, slipping his hand into Killua’s.

Killua flushed but didn’t push away his doting family. He soaked up their warmth like he was hypothermic, briefly grieving the fact that he didn’t always have this. But he did now, and he’d be damned if he took it for granted.

//

July 7th.

Killua is twenty-two

There is something pressing into Killua’s neck, and he has a good idea of what, or who it is.

“Gon,” Killua groans, realizing that his boyfriends’ entire weight was resting on top of him.

Gon mumbled something under his breath, too low and garbled for Killua to make out. Though, he suspected it was something along the lines of, ‘Shut up and let me sleep’.

Gon,” Killua growls now, more insistent. “I can’t breathe.”

“Sounds like a personal problem,” Gon replies, voice more distinguishable. Killua could practically see the shit-eating grin that was now adorning his boyfriends’ face.

“It’s gonna be your problem if you don’t get the hell off of me,” Killua snaps. Gon chuckles but cedes anyway, rolling back onto his side of the bed.

“Did I ever tell you that you’re definitely not a morning person?” Gon asks. Killua rolls his eyes and resituates the blankets that had gotten messed up by Gon.

“You don’t need to tell me something I already know,” Killua replies. There’s a peaceful silence that follows, which begins to lull Killua back to sleep before Gon’s voice cuts through it.

“Happy birthday, Killua,” He says. “I love you,”

Damn, was it July 7th already? Killua secretly wishes that time would slow the hell down so he could get a bearing on his life. Not that things were going badly; in fact, his life was working out. He was an intern at Leorio’s clinic, Kalluto was going to college in Yorknew and thriving, Alluka was doing good in school and had big plans to open a flower shop with her girlfriend after graduation, and Kurapika was finally healing from his past. Gon’s family was doing great and they were safe.

Safety. At one time in Killua’s life, safety had been an illusion, a legend that he never thought he’d truly have. Yet, a decade later and he’d finally trapped it beneath his fingertips.

He wanted to slow down time so he could savor his life and the way it had turned out.

"Love you too, idiot," Killua replies, the affection in his tone cutting through any lingering annoyance he may have had.

“I got you something,” Gon said.

“I would hope so,” Killua grinned. The truth was, though, he didn’t mind if Gon hadn’t gotten him anything. He had everything he wanted. Not that he’d waste his daily allowance of cheesiness by saying that before the day had begun, however.

Gon rolled his eyes. “Get dressed and come out to the garden with me,”


 

Ten minutes later they’re sat in the garden, the rising sun haloing them in light and casting out any lingering darkness in them, if only for a moment.

“So, where’s my gift?”

Gon’s eyes are trained onto the sunrise, but his eyes are distant. His knee bounces violently, nervous energy practically radiating from him.

“Gon?”

“I’m getting tired of my promise ring,”

Killua blanches, eyes falling to the slightly weathered ring resting securely on Gon’s finger.

“What?”

Gon takes a deep breath. “I said I’m tired of my promise ring. Aren’t you tired of yours?”

Killua looks to his. He remembers Gon’s eighteen birthday on Whale Island, how the lightning coursing through his veins had felt small and insignificant to the way Gon made him feel.

“I mean-it symbolizes how much I love you,” Killua’s at a loss to Gon's motives.

Gon smiles. “I love you too, Killua. I just think it’s time we solidified the promise. I think... I think it’s time that we replaced our symbol of love for each other into something more…permanent,”

Killua feels the air simultaneously leave and rush into his lungs as Gon gets up and somewhat awkwardly lowers himself onto one knee in front of him. “So that being said, Killua Paladiknight-,”

“Yes,”

“Let me finish the fucking question first,” Gon laughs.

Killua stutters out an apology that becomes tangled up in his somewhat hysteric laugh. “God. Okay, sorry continue,”

“I mean it is nice to know this won’t end up being embarrassing for me,”

“Just shut up and ask me!”

“-will you marry me?”

“No,”

“Killua!”

“Baka! Yes, I’ll marry you!”


 

Later, while their family excitedly starts planning for the wedding, the two escape back out into the garden.

“This has been the best birthday ever. Thank you,”

Gon beams, “I distinctly remember you saying that on your thirteenth birthday?”

“Yeah well, you’ve managed to surpass it. Don’t let that get to your head,”

A beat of silence. And then, Killua nudges his fiancé.

“Gon…?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m not taking your last name,”

“That’s fair,”

Series this work belongs to: