Work Text:
[CALEB]
It’s come to this
I knew it would
Since I’m now
Alone for good
I know just what
I gotta do
I gotta go get myself
A fuckton of cats!
[JESTER, YASHA, BEAU]
A fuckton of cats!
[CALEB]
A fuckton of cats!
[JESTER, YASHA, BEAU]
Way too many cats!
[CALEB]
When you’re a permanent vagabond
It’s mandatory that you go out and get
A fuckton of cats!
Oh yeah!
I walk myself down to the lonely wizard cat store
The smell is overwhelming inside
The future smell of my coat
It’s the smell of my dreams that have died
I walk up to the cat shelf
Where the cats are labelled big and small
The sales lady asks, “Is there one you like?”
And I state, “I’ll take them all!”
I want a fuckton of cats!
[FRUMPKIN]
Meow! A fuckton of cats!
[CALEB]
Gimme a fuckton of cats!
[FRUMPKIN]
Meow! A fuckton of cats! Meow!
[CALEB]
The sales lady’s pumped
She’s closing early
And heading home to her sad house in the tillage
Filled with her own fuckton of cats!
[FRUMPKIN]
Meow, meow, meow
[CALEB]
That she got at a discount
[FRUMPKIN]
Meow, meow, meow
[CALEB]
‘Cause she works at the cat store
[FRUMPKIN]
Meow, meow, meow
Meow, meow, meow
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow
Why have cats, over time, become
Synonymous with loneliness?
We gotta work on our collective image
We need a new town crier
The ironic part is we’re not that friendly
If you’re lonely, we might make it worse
Also, we sleep, like, sixteen hours a day
Have you considered getting a (blink) dog?
[CALEB]
Nope! I want a fuckton of you guys!
[FRUMPKIN]
Okay, we warned you
[CALEB]
A fuckton of cats!
[FRUMPKIN]
We’re gonna ruin your coat!
[CALEB]
There’s a lot of evidence that
Organisms in cat poop make you crazy
[FRUMPKIN]
Yes, we heard that story from the town crier
And then we peed on the town crier
[CALEB]
But I still want a fuckton of cats!