Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Who are you drawing fanart of this time?” Pidge asked the question from the other end of the small couch, not lifting her circle-framed amber eyes from her phone. Her short legs shifted from where they lay overtop Keith’s in the middle. Keith glanced up from where he was intently drawing on his drawing tablet. “Who said it was fanart?” he asked. “I guessed,” Pidge responded with a shrug.

“Sunshine and Robots,” Keith answered, returning to his drawing as his giant husky, Kosmo, sniffed at his arm from the floor. “Oh? Would it happen to be of Lance?” Pidge asked, her voice holding a teasing tone. Keith scowled at her and growled, “Shut-up.” Pidge made an innocent face. “Me? Whatever did I do? I simply asked a question.” Keith’s rolled his eyes, ignoring his best friend in favor of changing the subject.

“How are things going with building Robert?” Pidge frowned at him as he added the final details onto the drawing he’d been working on for the past hour. “ Rover . At this point, you might as well stop butchering the name, I know you’re doing it on purpose. And things are going well. I should have his programming done in the next month, assuming things don’t suddenly pick up at the Garrison.” Keith nodded, setting his drawing pencil on the table. “Great. Gimme a second to upload this and we can go to The Ramen Spot.” Keith walked over to his laptop after saving his newest drawing to the cloud. He uploaded it to his website and his social media’s, adding the caption, “Fanart of my favorite band, Sunshine and Robots. My hand hurts so badly after this.” After adding the appropriate tags and uploading everything, he turned back to Pidge. “Let’s go.”

---

“That was delicious,” Pidge said, patting her stomach. Her box of leftovers had been put on the counter next to Keith’s, and they had returned to the couch, Kosmo curled up in between them. “Let’s watch some documentaries. I heard about this new one that’s supposedly really good, so I’ll pull it up if you get snacks.” Keith stood up, stretching momentarily. “Deal.”

He walked into his tiny apartment kitchen, pulling two bags of popcorn out of the cabinet and throwing one in, setting the clock. He pulled out his phone, deciding to check what people were saying about his newest piece. He opened Light, his favorite social media app for his art because it allowed likes, comments, tags, private messaging, following, friends, and also had special groups to make it easier for people to find what they were looking for. Scrolling through his notifications on the app, he read the comments.

JollyMolly: OMG!!! SUNSHINE AND ROBOTS IS MY FAVORITE!!!!
A good boi: Your art still gives me chills woah

Kittenlover82893: What is this fanart of?

Misskiss: Um, Sunshine and Robots? Only the greatest band ever?
Cows: Hnnnnn someone save me, Lance is already so hot bUt In YoUr ArT sTyLe

Jazzzzzmouse: AJEDFHEUFUFU AAAAAAAAAAAA I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN I RELATE TO THIS ON A SPIRITUAL LEVEL

Lifehacks: Dude, this is so good. Your art+my favorite things=a good day.

He never replied to his comments, although they were fun to read. However, as Keith scrolled, he came across a different notification. It was about a private message. Curious, he clicked it. He did a double take when he saw who it was from. He thought he must be seeing things wrong, but when he rubbed his eyes, it was still there. Lance McClain was written in the bubbly letters of Light’s font where the messenger’s name appeared, and message in the same script but on a blue bubble sat right under it. Some quick investigation proved that the account was verified and had the amount of followers and subscribers you’d expect for the band. All the pictures and everything on their other accounts could be seen. This wasn’t a scam; this was the real deal. Keith’s breath caught and his heart dropped.

LoverboyLance: Dude! The art you drew of us is great!

KnifeKeith: Thanks so much!

As soon as Keith sent the message, he ran back to Pidge. “Oh my god, Pidge, Pidge, Pidge!!!” Keith skidded in front of her as she tossed the remote down. “What?” She looked exasperated. “Check it out!” He leaned over the back of the couch to show her his screen. Her eyes widened. “You sure it’s real?” Keith nodded frantically. “Keith! That’s crazy!” Keith opened his mouth to agree when the phone vibrated in his hand. He squeaked, making Pidge snort. He hopped over the couch back, landing next to Pidge to read the response. He vaguely heard her ask, “What’s it say?”

LanceyLance: Sorry for not making this a comment on your post. Figured it’s explode your notifs.

LanceyLance: I’ve actually like your art for a while, you’re really talented.

Keith screeched, turning to Pidge before grabbing her shoulders, shaking her as he shrieked, “PIDGE!!! PIDGE HE LIKES MY ART!!! PIDGE, HE THINKS I’M TALENTED, HE’S LIKED MY ART FOR A WHILE OH MY GOD PIDGE ARE YOU SEEING THIS?!?!?!?!?” Kosmo looked slightly afraid at the outburst. Seeming disgruntled and a bit annoyed, Pidge fixed her glasses. “Yes, I am seeing this. Now are you going to keep screaming at me or are you going to respond?” At that comment, Keith immediately picked his phone up, thought for a moment, typed out a response, hesitated, hit the send button, then dropped the phone and curled up to scream into a pillow.

KnifeKeith: Woah, really? I’ve liked your music for ages haha.

“Relax! And go get the popcorn!” Keith was unceremoniously shoved from the couch by Pidge. “Geez! Fine, you gremlin!” He stood, phone in hand, and walked to the kitchen. He pulled out the first bag of popcorn and put the second one in, setting the timer once again. He glanced back at his phone as he waited for the popcorn to finish.

LanceyLance: That’s super cool dude!

LanceyLance: It took me forever to work up the courage to contact you lol.

KnifeKeith: Seriously?

KnifeKeith: You’re my favorite music artist, I would think it’s the other way around.

KnifeKeith: Well it is the other way around too but

LanceyLance: Yeah, I know what you mean.

LanceyLance: You’re super chill, though. Totally worth it.

KnifeKeith: Thanks. You are too.

Keith, having been so immersed in his conversation, jumped when the microwave alarm went off, fumbling to keep from dropping his phone. He picked up the popcorn bags and took them into the living room with Pidge, throwing the cool one at her. “Ready?” Pidge asked. “One second,” Keith said, looking back at his phone.

LanceyLance: Well, I’ve gotta head out now, but we should talk later.

LanceyLance: You’re super nice.

LanceLance: Bye!

KnifeKeith: Thanks, you too!

KnifeKeith: Bye!

“Done?” Pidge asked, eyebrow raised and sarcasm in her voice. “Yeah,” Keith sighed happily as Pidge hit play.

Throughout the entirety of the documentary, a warm, happy feeling filled Keith’s chest, and it stayed until he curled up in bed, Kosmo at his feet, and fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

Chapter Text

Keith woke up the next morning, rolled over, and promptly fell out of bed, disturbing Kosmo’s sleep. Rubbing his aching head, he walked into the kitchen, pouring himself cereal and Kosmo dog food. As the two ate, Keith looked through his personal social media feeds, separate from his business ones.

He saw a post from Lance’s account in his feed, reading the message. 

LanceyLance: We’re absolutely loving all the fanart. Keep it up guys!!!

“He’s talking about me!!” Keith said to Kosmo as he dramatically flung his spoon, forgetting he had cereal on it. What had been on the spoon fell on the floor. Kosmo and Keith stared at it, then at each other. Keith sighed before wiping it up with a paper towel.

He continued his morning routine, showering and dressing himself. As he shrugged on his leather jacket, he grabbed his motorcycle keys and gave Kosmo a pat on the head. When he got outside, Keith mounted his motorcycle. He put on his wireless headphones, turned his favorite cryptid podcast on, and pulled out of the lot.
20 minutes later, he pulled up to his favorite art store. While inspecting the watercolors the store sold, Keith felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He pulled it out and had to resist the urge to shout when he saw the notification.

LanceyLance: Hey dude, what’s up?
KnifeKeith: Not much. At the art store.
KnifeKeith: You?
LanceyLance: Just reading.
LanceyLance: I was thinking about how I wanted to text you back lol.

“He was thinking about me!”

KnifeKeith: I was kinda hoping you would.
KnifeKeith: Text me back, I mean.

“What is wrong with me?” Keith cringed at himself. “Why would I say that?”

LanceyLance: So tell me about yourself, Keith.
LanceyLance: Keith is your name, right?
KnifeKeith: No.
KnifeKeith: It’s Kevin.
LanceyLance: Seriously? I’m so sorry, dude. I just assumed.
KnifeKeith: Nah, I was messing with you.
KnifeKeith: It’s Keith lol.
LanceyLance: Oh lol.
KnifeKeith: Well for things about me, my favorite color is red, I have a husky for a pet, I ride a motorcycle, and I like knives.
LanceyLance: Well the last one is a bit obvious based on the username and profile pic and all lol.
KnifeKeith: I’m not really that interesting haha.
LanceyLance: I’ll be the judge of that.
KnifeKeith: Oh sorry, wise oracle. I forgot to consult you on how interesting I am.
KnifeKeith: My apologies.
LanceyLance: Very funny.

Keith looked up from his phone at the clearing of a throat. “Excuse me,” said a man trying to get past Keith. “Oh, sorry,” he said, moving out of the way and getting back to what he’d come there to do in the first place.

Crouching down, Keith looked at the selection of watercolors. He selected a set with the colors he needed that looked to be good quality. Then, he moved to the brushes and chose a set from the brand he normally used. While in line, he pulled his phone out, checking his messages again.

LanceyLance: Why are you at the art store?
KnifeKeith: Watercolors.
LanceyLance: Oh that’s cool.
LanceyLance: I was never able to use watercolors.
KnifeKeith: It’s not as hard as everyone thinks lol.
KnifeKeith: It’s about your method.
LanceyLance: Huh.
LanceyLance: Maybe you can show me sometime ;)

The cashier had to ask Keith if he needed a doctor due to the redness of his face.

Chapter Text

LanceyLance: Hello!

The message came in as Keith was working on the day’s art piece. He was surprised, because although they had been talking for a few weeks, Lance had said he’d be busy that day.

KnifeKeith: Uh, hi?

LanceyLance: You seem excited.

KnifeKeith: Sorry.

KnifeKeith: Just didn’t think you’d text today.

LanceyLance: Really? Why not?

KnifeKeith: I thought you’d be too busy.

LanceyLance: I actually have a lot of leisure time at the moment.

LanceyLance: Surprisingly, since we’re in the middle of making a new music video for the new album.

Excited, Keith tossed his drawing tablet to the side and rolled onto his stomach to stare at his phone while smiling.

LanceyLance: Shit, I shouldn’t have told you that.

LanceyLance: Don’t tell anyone, we haven’t announced the album yet.

KnifeKeith: I won’t, don’t worry.

KnifeKeith: So what are you doing?

LanceyLance: Sitting at a photoshoot.

KnifeKeith: Lance.

KnifeKeith: That isn’t leisure time.

KnifeKeith: You should be working .

LanceyLance: Yeah, I know.

LanceyLance: But work is so borrriinnnnngggg!

Keith facepalmed and giggled.

Chapter Text

LanceyLance: [Image]
LanceyLance: Look how cute this dog is!

Keith’s eyes darted down to his phone as it lit up. He looked around at the other patients in the dentist’s office before responding. He had 10 minutes until his appointment.

KnifeKeith: They’re so cute!
KnifeKeith: Look at my dog:
KnifeKeith: [Image]
LanceyLance: :O
LanceyLance: A good boi!
LanceyLance: I’m sure you can tell from the many photos I send
LanceyLance: But I really like dogs :)
KnifeKeith: As you can likely tell from the many pictures of my dog that I send
KnifeKeith: Same.
KnifeKeith: They’re amazing.
LanceyLance: The best creatures on earth.
KnifeKeith: Agreed.
KnifeKeith: However…
LanceyLance: I swear, if you say cats are better, I’m blocking you lol.
KnifeKeith: No! Not what I meant! They’re not better…
KnifeKeith: But....
KnifeKeith: I act more like a cat than a dog.
LanceyLance: Really?
KnifeKeith: Yeah.
LanceyLance: How so?
KnifeKeith: I only like being touched if I give explicit permission.
LanceyLance: Explicitly touched, you say?
KnifeKeith: Shut-up. You know what I meant.
KnifeKeith: I don’t like going outside.
LanceyLance: Do you poop in a box?
KnifeKeith: Why do I even try with you?
KnifeKeith: But you get my point.
LanceyLance: That sounds adorable.
LanceyLance: I shall call you kitten.
KnifeKeith: Please don’t call me that… it sounds too sexual.
LanceyLance: Too late, Kitten.
KnifeKeith: Oh god.

Chapter Text

LanceyLance: What’s the most trouble you’ve gotten into at highschool and college?

KnifeKeith: I slammed a kid’s head into a locker in highschool and put him in the hospital for a month.

KnifeKeith: I also vandalized the school a lot.

KnifeKeith: But I didn’t get caught get often.

LanceyLance: Dude…

LanceyLance: That’s freaking wild!

KnifeKeith: Eh, I guess, yeah.

KnifeKeith: What about you?

LanceyLance: I got detentions for talking in class lol.

LanceyLance: Nothing compared to you.

KnifeKeith: Oh, you were one of those good kids, huh?

KnifeKeith: Guess I’ve gotta corrupt you >:)

LanceyLance: Keith… No…

Chapter Text

KnifeKeith: What’s your Hogwarts house?

Keith sent the message as he sat in his living room on the couch. His body faced Axca’s who was in a similar pose to him, both of them leaning on the arms of the couch. However, Axca’s legs were stretched out across the couch but Keith’s were curled to his body. Pidge had her body flung out between them with Kosmo splayed on top of her.

The group was in the middle of their monthly movie marathon, a time when they would take a day or two to watch a classic movie series. This month was Harry Potter , hence the question.

LanceyLance: Ravenclaw.

KnifeKeith: I could see it. Smart, creative, wise, kind of a sarcastic jackass.

LanceyLance: :O Bro. (Gonna ignore the last part)

KnifeKeith: ;) Bro. (Screw you)

LanceyLance: :) Bro? (>:D)

KnifeKeith: :D BRO!

LanceyLance: :D BRO! 

LanceyLance: Anyway

LanceyLance: What’s yours?

KnifeKeith: Gryffindor.

LanceyLance: Not surprised.

KnifeKeith: Should I be offended?

LanceyLance: Not really…?

LanceyLance: Like, you seem loyal and chivalrous and all that jazz but also

LanceyLance: You’re pretty hot-headed and reckless, man.

KnifeKeith: I want to be offended but it’s true .

“Who are you texting, Keith?” Acxa asked, momentarily glancing away from the screen to look at Keith. He jumped, having been so into the conversation he hadn’t noticed he’d zoned out.

“His boyfriend,” Pidge responded in his stead, pushing up her glasses and smirking all without taking attention away from the movie. “Look at him, he’s blushing and he’s got that weird, dopey, lovesick smile of his.”

“Shut-up!” Keith snapped, the increasingly flushed state of his face only proving her point further. “He is not my boyfriend.” Pidge scoffed. “Yeah sure, whatever. Lie to yourself all you want, Keith, but we know the truth.” 

“Oh you’re one to talk!”

“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. We all know you’re totally in love with-”

“Finish that sentence and I’ll make sure your most personal, embarrassing information and pictures end up on the main page of every social media site you can name.”

“G-guys…”

Keith silenced himself, knowing that Pidge could and more importantly would make good on her threat. He returned to his phone.

LanceyLance: Other than that being one of the most iconic icebreakers known to humankind, why the random question?

KnifeKeith: Harry Potter marathon w/ my friends.

LanceyLance: :O

LanceyLance: Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you allow me to invade upon such a sacred, friendship, bonding ritual for so long? I’m wounded, Keith. Wounded.

KnifeKeith: Relax, it’s not that big of a deal.

KnifeKeith: … plus I like talking to you.

LanceyLance:  

LanceyLance: Enjoy your movie, Keith <3

Keith threw his phone with a squeal, his face turning tomato red as he buried it in his arms as Pidge laughed so hard she fell and tore her arm on the table corner. In between bandaging her up, calming Kosmo from the noise, and finding a time to get his phone repaired, he still managed to send an answer with his shattered phone.

KnifeKeith: <3

Chapter Text

The second Keith woke up, he hopped onto his phone, not even leaving bed.

KnifeKeith: I’m so excited!

KnifeKeith: SEPTEMBER AND OCTOBER ARE COMING, PIDGE

LanceyLance: Mhm?

KnifeKeith: Wait shit no wrong person.

KnifeKeith: Ignore.

LanceyLance: No tell me.

KnifeKeith:  

KnifeKeith: I like fall

KnifeKeith: Cuz it’s nice

LanceyLance: Yeah?

KnifeKeith: Yeah

KnifeKeith: It’s like chilly and it smells good 

KnifeKeith: And the leaves are pretty and crunchy

KnifeKeith : And pumpkin stuff 

KnifeKeith: Apple orchards, cider, doughnuts

KnifeKeith: Halloween

KnifeKeith: Halloween, Lance

KnifeKeith: Lance, the cryptids will be out they’ll be out and thriving

KnifeKeith: And sweaters and boots and leggings and

KnifeKeith: Just fall. Fall is awesome.

LanceyLance: Holy shit give me a second that was so adorable

Keith blushed down at his phone.

LanceyLance: Ok.

LanceyLance: You make fall sound so exciting, dude.

LanceyLance: That was the cutest rant ever and now I’m excited for fall.

LanceyLance: But it’s July, sweetie, isn’t it a bit early?

Keith almost threw his phone at the name.

KnifeKeith: Well yeah, but best start getting excited early, right?

LanceyLance: Whatever you say, babe.

Keith actually did toss his phone this time, right before burying his face in his pillow.

Chapter Text

LanceyLance: Hey dude.

LanceyLance: Yesterday you mentioned cryptids?

KnifeKeith: Uh

KnifeKeith: Yeah? Why?

LanceyLance: Tell me about them!

KnifeKeith: Are you sure? Most people aren’t very interested and I tend to talk for a while.

LanceyLance: That’s fine. Tell me. Which ones do you like?

KnifeKeith: Uh, well my favorite is Mothman…

LanceyLance: Who’s that?

KnifeKeith: Only the greatest cryptid ever!

KnifeKeith: Look: 

[Image]

KnifeKeith: This is a fan drawn image of him made based on the few images that have been caught of him. There are speculations as to how many moth features and how many human features he has, but I think there’s more moth.

KnifeKeith: There are also theories as to where he came from. The most common one is that he’s a hybrid between moth and man which makes sense on the surface but is illogical once you look into it. How would a moth breed with a human? Biologically and physically, it doesn’t make sense.

KnifeKeith: I think he’s an evolutionary creation. Possibly descended from former human species and had his DNA mixed with a moth or vice-versa. It’d be easier to figure out if there were clearer photos of him, but unfortunately, there aren’t.

KnifeKeith: Some people think he’s an escaped, mistake science experiment, but those people aren’t even trying, really, they’re just taking shit out of movies. It’s too cliche and doesn’t make sense as to why they have not caught him yet.

LanceyLance: You should rant more, it’s cute.

LanceyLance: But this is a really thought out theory! It’s interesting!

LanceyLance: But what does fall have to do with cryptids?

KnifeKeith: Oh, they’re just more active in fall and, some of them in winter. Fall is a good time for them to prepare for winter, some for hibernation, and some just gather supplies in fall when the harvest is good. The ones that don’t hibernate explore in winter when there are less humans out, so winter is the second best season to cryptid hunt. But fall is best.

LanceyLance: Cryptid hunt?

KnifeKeith: O ya

KnifeKeith: We look for them, try to get pictures and stuff. Evidence, maybe even capture them.

KnifeKeith: My friend Pidge is my hunting partner and we spend a lot of time together relating to cryptids.

KnifeKeith: But the actual hunting mostly consists of stakeouts and traps and camping and stuff.

LanceyLance: Dude that’s so cool how are you so cool.

KnifeKeith: Oh uh

KnifeKeith: It’s not as cool as you make it sound haha.

LanceyLance: Yes it is! 

LanceyLance: You’re so much more interesting than the people we work with, we should get you out here to work with us.

KnifeKeith: Oh

LanceyLance: Not used to compliments?

KnifeKeith: No.

LanceyLance: Oh ok.

LanceyLance: I’ll get you used to them :)

KnifeKeith: ijqhaj56yfgit;8lfiyvstdyfugi’[;gp[otkjasdtfgh/y’[gp[]u][gs3wret

Chapter Text

LanceyLance: Remember I said I’d make you get used to compliments?

KnifeKeith: Yes?

KnifeKeith: Why am I scared?

LanceyLance: Well get ready.

KnifeKeith: lanCE NO

LanceyLance: LANCE YES!

LanceyLance: Prepare for love.

KnifeKeith: No thanks.

LanceyLance: It’s non-negotiable.

LanceyLance: Sorry.

KnifeKeith: No you’re not.

LanceyLance: You’re right, I’m not, you talented boi.

KnifeKeith: Please,,,,,,, no.

LanceyLance: Your art is really good.

LanceyLance: The colors, the visuals, the style. And your comics. Great storylines.

LanceyLance: You’re funny.

LanceyLance: You have pretty eyes.

LanceyLance: You act edgy but you’re a huge dork.

KnifeKEith: Lance please.

KnifeKeith: I look like a tomato.

KnifeKeith: Lance, Pidge is laughing at me.

LanceyLance: An unfortunate side-effect.

LanceyLance: I’ll chill for now, but expect more compliments every day.

LanceyLance: Lancepliments.

LanceyLance: Daily Lancepliments.

KnifeKeith: O-ok…

LanceyLance: :) <3

KnifeKeith: ….<3

LanceyLance: Progress!

Chapter Text

KnifeKeith: What’s your favorite flower?

LanceyLance: That’s a hard question

LanceyLance: On one hand roses are a classic

LanceyLance: But I also like violets and carnations

LanceyLance: And bellflowers and delphiniums and hydrangeas

LanceyLance: All blue, of course

LanceyLance: Even though roses have to be dyed to be blue

LanceyLance: But I dunno, hard choice

KnifeKeith: Oh wow, that’s a lot

LanceyLance: Yeah, it is lol

LanceyLance: Why do you ask?

KnifeKeith: It’s a surprise

LanceyLance: Awww, are you gonna send me flowers?

KnifeKeith: Definitely not

LanceyLance: :( Rude!!!

KnifeKeith: *True

LanceyLance: :O

KnifeKeith: :)

LanceyLance: I came out here to have a good time, and honestly, I’m feeling so attacked right now

KnifeKeith: Dramatic much?

LanceyLance: No, not dramatic

LanceyLance: This is a betrayal

KnifeKeith: Ok then

LanceyLance: Why do I even try with you

LanceyLance: You never told me why you asked about flowers

KnifeKeith: Yes I did

KnifeKeith: I told you it was a surprise

LanceyLance: Keeeeeeeiiiiiitttttthhhhhh

LanceyLance: That’s not an answeeeeeeeerrrrrrr

KnifeKeith: Yes it is

LanceyLance: It’s not a good enough answer

KnifeKeith: Unfortunate

LanceyLance: Offended

KnifeKeith: Unfortunate

LanceyLance: :(

---

LanceyLance: Keeeeeeeeeith, are you done? It’s been an hour, I’m not gonna be able to wait much longeeeeeer

KnifeKeith: Jeez, don’t you have anything to do other than wait on me?

LanceyLance: No, I have no social life

KnifeKeith: False

LanceyLance: Fine, you caught me

LanceyLance: But I’m still waiting

KnifeKeith: Chill, I’m almost done

KnifeKeith: Ok, done, you can see

KnifeKeith: [Image]

KnifeKeith: Happy?

LanceyLance: :O

LanceyLance: Keith, they look so good!

LanceyLance: I thought you weren’t getting me flowers though

KnifeKeith: I didn’t get you flowers

LanceyLance: Yeah but you drew me a bouquet of all my favorites

LanceyLance: A really cute and well done one

LanceyLance: In all blue

LanceyLance: This is so nice I’m making it my wallpaper

KnifeKeith: So you like it?

LanceyLance: Are you kidding

LanceyLance: Keith, I love it

LanceyLance: How could I not love something this adorable

KnifeKeith: Oh, glad you like it then

LanceyLance: Seriously Keith thank you so much this is so cute

KnifeKeith: I’m just happy you like it

KnifeKeith: … <3

LanceyLance: :O

LanceyLance: <3

Chapter Text

LanceyLance: Keith

LanceyLance: Keith

LanceyLance: Keith

LanceyLance: Keith

LanceyLance: Keith

KnifeKeith: What

LanceyLance: I have a serious question

KnifeKeith: Don’t you always

LanceyLance: Excuse you

LanceyLance: I’m a very serious person

KnifeKeith: Ok

LanceyLance: Keith

LanceyLance: Say it

KnifeKeith: No

KnifeKeith: I speak only the truth

LanceyLance: Ok, rude

KnifeKeith: Fine

KnifeKeith: You are a serious person

KnifeKeith: Sometimes(read: rarely)

LanceyLance: You know what, I’ll take it

LanceyLance: Anyway, back to my question

LanceyLance: I must know

LanceyLance: Keith do you like raw pasta

LanceyLance: Because that post you made was… concerning

KnifeKeith: Yes???

KnifeKeith: You don’t like raw pasta???

LanceyLance: KEITH WHAT THE FUCK

KnifeKeith: ???

KnifeKeith: I don’t understand the issue???

LanceyLance: THAT IS DISGUSTING

LanceyLance: AN UNNATURAL ABOMINATION

LanceyLance: UNACCEPTABLE

KnifeKeith: It’s not

KnifeKeith: You should try it

LanceyLance: I would never violate myself that way

KnifeKeith: No really, it’s good, especially if you run it under water first

KnifeKeith: It’s crunchy and chewy at the same time

KnifeKeith: It’s good I promise

KnifeKeith: Look

KnifeKeith: [Image]

LanceyLance: KEITH WHAT THE FUCK

LanceyLance: You know what

LanceyLance: Blocked.

KnifeKeith: This is just rude

LanceyLance: Now you know how it feels

KnifeKeith: I thought I was blocked?

LanceyLance: Shut-up

LanceyLance: I can’t even look at that awful picture

LanceyLance: Just gonna commit such a heinous act and have such pretty eyes

KnifeKeith: What

LanceyLance: You disgust me

KnifeKeith: Are we ignoring how you called my eyes pretty

LanceyLance: Just truly awful

KnifeKeith: Huh guess so

LanceyLance: I can’t believe the nerve

LanceyLance: The fact that you just look so adorable in the first picture of you you’ve ever sent me

LanceyLance: And I can’t even do anything with it because you’re eating pasta

KnifeKeith: I’m not a fan of this complimenting while insulting energy

KnifeKeith: The topic is changing too fast

KnifeKeith: Mom pick me up I’m scared

LanceyLance: Wait did you just meme

KnifeKeith: Oh so now we pause

KnifeKeith: I’m a lonely young adult, what do you think I do with my free time

KnifeKeith: Socialize? No thank you

LanceyLance: We’re socializing right now though

KnifeKeith: You’re one of a handful of exceptions

LanceyLance: Yay!

LanceyLance: But dude why do you have a mullet

KnifeKeith: It’s not

KnifeKeith: You know what, nevermind

LanceyLance: That’s weird

LanceyLance: This is not the 80s

LanceyLance: I bet you wear all black and have like ear and tongue and nose piercings and listen to MCR

KnifeKeith: I won’t stand for this slander

LanceyLance: Again, now you know how I feel

LanceyLance: But was I right?

KnifeKeith: No comment

LanceyLance: SERIOUSLY

LanceyLance: WHY CAN’T I SEE YOUR PIERCINGS THEN

KnifeKeith: I just woke up

LanceyLance: So you admit you have piercings?

KnifeKeith: I don’t like this conversation

LanceyLance: Fine, back to your crime against humanity

KnifeKeith: Lance, please