Work Text:
A cornered blossom
Haunted by shadow
Cries for the sun.
Shinji tapped distractedly on his desk, his eyes resting on the wall clock. The little antique used a pendulum, and as he watched it sway he sung quietly to himself.
“I walk the floor and watch the door
And in between I drink
Black coffee…”
Damn, he needed a coffee right now. He should’ve made one.
The trill of a bush warbler near his office window roused the captain from his drowsiness and he yawned.
Unable to bear the quiet anymore, Shinji stood and walked to the turntable standing against the wall. He selected a random record from the shelf next to it. Too early to be choosey.
There was a knock on the door. Shinji’s shoulders sagged. Well, there went his morning. Should’ve made a coffee.
“Come in.”
The door opened and a small young woman peered inside: Momo Hinamori, his lieutenant.
Murmuring an almost inaudible ‘pardon me’, she entered, closing the door slowly behind her. Her long, mousy brown hair was scrunched up in a tight bun, and her uniform - black hakama robe in particular - was crisp and spotless.
He watched as Momo shuffled inside small, hurried steps, not quite meeting his eyes. She clasped her hands together, as if praying for courage.
She’s nothin’ like Aizen, Shinji thought. He couldn’t help it.
“G-good morning, Captain!” she stammered, smiling. “L-let's make today a smooth, productive day! I promise to -”
“Momo,” said Shinji, “do I have a Zanpakutō shoved up the crack of my ass?”
His lieutenant’s mouth opened but no sound came out.
“No, sir!” she blurted.
Shinji chuckled. “Just stick with 'good morning', Momo. I'm a simple man.”
He stepped towards her, grinning down at the bewildered girl. “Good morning, Momo.”
Momo gave him a small smile. “Good morning, Captain!”
The air in the office felt a little lighter.
Shinji stretched his arms as high as they would go before letting them slump down again. “Ugh. Too early t’be up,” he muttered.
“It’s eight o’clock, Captain,” Momo said.
Shinji made a face. “I know what time it is!”
“Well,” Momo said, shifting uncomfortably, “it’s already quite late…”
Fifth Company’s Captain stifled a yawn. There was no point in delaying it any longer. He ambled towards the door. “Come on.”
He heard Momo’s footsteps hurrying after him. “Where are we going, Captain?”
“Let’s see where the wind blows,” Shinji replied idly.
“B-but -”
Shinji rolled his eyes. “I know, I know, yer mornin’ duties," he said. “Forget ‘em. I got people taking care of those. Let’s do somethin’ different today.”
“Yes, Captain,” said Momo helplessly.
Shinji suppressed a sigh. Today was going to be hard, no matter what he did, but he couldn’t afford to think about that. Shinji would dance to his own tune, and Momo would have to learn to match his step.
Shinji led Momo out of the barracks into the fresh morning air and did not look back.
Momo felt like a moth chasing a distant light. Following his back, she remembered Toshiro Hitsugaya's advice to her: “You won’t know what he’s thinking. Even if you ask him, he probably won’t tell you. It’s his nature. Give it time.”
She had to be patient. Neither of them were strangers to their respective positions, but Shinji had not been anyone’s captain for a hundred years, and Momo had not been anyone’s lieutenant for more than a year and a half.
Momo stared at Fifth Company’s insignia printed on Shinji’s back and bit her lip.
It was a bright, mild spring day. People were hustling to and fro. Voices buzzed in the air.
Momo watched as her captain ambled along, hands stuffed in the pockets of his hakama, nodding and chatting to passers-by.
She had to say something. Swallowing her nervousness, she asked: “Captain, where are we going?”
Shinji kept on walking, eyes focused ahead. “No idea. Inspiration ain’t hit me yet.”
Momo couldn’t believe it. “Inspiration?”
Her captain looked back at her his face scrunched up as if he’d bitten on a peppercorn. “Don’t gimme that look! There’s nothin’ pressin’ to take care of here. I gotta think - and I haven’t had my mornin’ coffee!”
Momo had never heard a captain whine like this, and the fact that this was her own captain made it worse.
“I… could have made you coffee, Captain,” she murmured.
Shinji waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it."
They continued walking in silence. The shadow Shinji cast over her felt like a crushing weight. They were tied by the pain they had suffered - but perhaps it was that very reason that made Momo uncomfortable.
Momo jumped as she collided with her Captain's back.
"I know!" he said suddenly. "Let's go to the world of the livin'! "
Momo blinked in surprise. "The world of the living? Why?"
Shinji looked at her as if the answer was obvious. "Why not? Always somethin' interesting goin' on."
"I suppose…"
The captain was already marching in the direction of the Senkaimon.
"Let's go! That's an order!"
Momo scrambled after him. "Y-yes, sir!"
The towering doors of the Senkaimon stood in the centre of a marble courtyard encircled by golden arches. It was the only safe method by which Soul Reapers could travel to and from the human world, though some rich families had their own personal Senkaimon. Shinji and Momo approached, shielding their faces from the sun until the doors were close enough to block it from sight.
Shinji yawned as a member of the Kido Corps standing guard came to meet them. The guy immediately began asking a lot of annoying questions - more than was usual even for their prickly types. It pissed him off.
“Open up, already!” he snapped. “My feet’re achin’ here!”
“Right away, Captain,” said the man, smiling as if he hadn’t interrogated Shinji for the past twenty minutes. He hurried away to open the gate.
Shinji rolled his eyes and stood back alongside Momo. “Finally!”
He glanced down at her. His lieutenant's expression was tinged with anxiety, and her hands were gripped tightly together.
“You alright?” he asked.
Momo jumped and forced a smile. “Oh - yes, Captain! I’m fine.”
Shinji frowned. You're a hundred years too young to fool me.
“Idiot," he said. "Yer hands’re shakin’.”
The unearthly moan of the gate doors opening filled the air. As they walked forward into the blinding light within, a black butterfly flew on ahead. The light illuminated the red that tinted its lower wings before swallowing it whole. Its charges, too, were engulfed.
Momo looked out across Karakura Town and breathed in the cool night air. The building on which they stood lay in the town’s shopping district, silent and dark. A few lights twinkled in windows of houses and office blocks, but aside from the faint, occasional hum of a car on the roads below, all was quiet.
Her captain stood in front of her, his white haori robe flapping in the breeze. Seeing him reminded Momo of his words at the gate. Yer hands’re shakin’.
Momo clenched her fists. He was right, and it filled her with shame. This was a new chapter in her life, a new beginning. Why was she so afraid? Why was she so unsure?
“Aah, good to be back!” Shinji sighed, stretching. "Too bad it's late. I'd kill for a new record!"
Momo moved to her captain’s side, glancing gingerly at his expression. It was relaxed, content, smiling.
It was only natural. Her captain had spent a hundred years in the human world, exiled from the Soul Society. It was possible that he had spent more time here and in the spirit world. Whether this was the case or not, this town was still home to him.
Shinji caught her looking and grinned before she could fake otherwise. “Nice, ain’t it?”
Momo took in the silent nighttime view and smiled a little. “It’s very peaceful,” she admitted.
Her captain suddenly leapt off the roof and into the air. “Let’s go!”
Momo jumped after him, hurrying to catch up as Shinji coasted eastwards over the rooftops.
“Captains don’t make a habit of comin’ to the human world,” he remarked. “They think it’s grunt work or somethin’. Bunch o' lazy-asses.”
"I'm sure they have a lot of important things to do," Momo said mildly.
Shinji picked an empty side-street and floated down into it. Momo landed behind him. They were invisible to humans, so being seen by any late-night wanderer was not an issue.
The sight of his back made her chest tighten. She swallowed.
No, I mustn't. I mustn't think about him.
"Yeah," Shinji muttered, "like shovin' their Zampakutos a little deeper up their ass-cracks."
Momo was shocked. "Captain!"
"Or fiddlin' dead bodies. Mayuri loves that."
"Captain, that's mean!"
Shinji stuck out his tongue. "Bleh. You know it's true!"
A blood-chilling wail pierced the air and Momo shivered. A Hollow? No, it sounds too… human.
Earthbound spirits were not easy to detect unless they were very close by. There was no telling what they would find.
Her captain broke into a run, turning a corner left. Momo followed close behind.
Another horrific scream pierced the air. It was much closer now.
Momo's heart pounded as a shadow fell across the path ahead.
A young man turned the corner into their field of view. Oblivious to their presence, he looked straight ahead as he approached.
Shinji wasn't concerned about him. He was concerned about the thing walking behind him.
This spirit wasn't a Hollow yet, but in time he would become one. Linked to his target's body by a long chain, the spirit followed the youth like a second shadow, wailing as he went. He was a young man of a similar age to the human, dressed in the same grey school uniform. His anguished screams rent the air.
"Look at me!" he howled. "Look at what you did to me! Do you care, you bastard?"
"Hey!" Shinji yelled, getting the spirit's attention. "What're ya screamin' for, ruinin' such a lovely night?"
"Captain, what are you doing?" Momo cried.
The spirit glared. "I'm gonna keep screaming until he hears me!" he shouted.
"He won't ever hear ya, you're dead, idiot!" Shinji roared back.
"Yeah, and it's all his fault!" the spirit shouted, jabbing a finger at the young man's head.
The human slowly passed by. Shinji saw that the chain of fate linking the two together was tied around the spirit's neck.
Damnit. If this keeps up…
"He hurt me!" the spirit went on, stopping in his, tracks. "Every day was hell! Do you know what it's like to wake up and be scared? You're scared every day and nobody helps you! Do you know what that's like?"
"Can't say I do, kid," Shinji said. "But I know that livin' every day like this ain't the help you've been lookin' for."
"Fuck off, what would you know?"
Shinji could see the boy's face clearly under the lamplight. He couldn't be more than sixteen years old, his youthful features twisted as much with pain as the effort of screaming.
Shinji heard a muffled noise beside him and saw Momo gazing at the spirit. Her eyes were full of tears.
"Look here!" he said. "You're makin' my cute lieutenant cry!"
"I don't care!"
The chain was slowly moving across the ground. Sooner or later the spirit would move on with his target.
Shinji sighed. "Listen, kid," he, said. "You want the guy who ruined your life to suffer, right? You want him to know your pain, to make him feel bad?"
The spirit said nothing, but the look in his eyes told Shinji he was right. He stepped forward, closing the gap between them.
"The thing is, he might never give you a second's thought for the rest of his life."
He heard Momo gasp. The spirit stared at him, transfixed, mortified.
"He might even be proud of what he did." Shinji shrugged. "Or maybe it will haunt him. Someday down the line, he might be wracked with guilt. He might kill himself, or move on with his life, however long that'll be."
Shinji stood face-to-face with the boy now, nothing but the rustling of the chain audible beside his own voice.
"But whatever happens," he said, "here you'll be, as much a prisoner to that guy as you were in life, screamin', scared…"
"Shut up!"
The spirit yelled and jerked away, clutching the half-torn hole in his stomach. It tore a little more, an aching emptiness.
Tears streamed down the boy's face. "No! Shut up, I…"
"Please."
Shinji turned, hearing his lieutenant's tearful voice. She stepped forward, approaching the spirit.
Momo's heart was breaking. It felt as if all the tears she had wanted shed that day, from pain, fear or frustration, were spilling out all at once. She wouldn't let this boy become a Hollow.
She reached out a hand and touched the young spirit's face. "I was hurt by someone too," she whispered. "He was my whole world, and just like that, he crushed my heart. All along, I had meant nothing to him."
Momo drew back her hand and wiped her eyes. "I was in despair. I didn’t know what to do. It was like that… for a long time."
She looked up at her captain and smiled. "Captain - Hirako-san listened to me, and understood my pain better than anyone else."
"You were lucky," muttered the spirit, but Momo sensed a change in his spirit energy. It wasn't so agitated anymore.
She took a deep breath. Taking the young man's hands in hers, she asked: "What's your name?"
"H-Haru," the spirit said, surprised. "Haru Minami."
"Haru-san," Momo said, pouring her heart into each word. "You have a second life to live. Don't let this man take it away."
Haru's bottom lip quivered. "Who are you people?" he croaked.
Momo smiled. "We're Soul Reapers. We guide people to the afterlife."
"There's an afterlife?"
"Yes! The Soul Society!"
"It ain't a perfect Heaven," her captain chimed in, "but it's better than Hell!"
Haru hesitated, watching his chain of fate slide along the ground.
"I… I don't think I'm ready to go yet," he said.
"That's OK," said Momo. "We'll stay with you as long as you need."
Haru looked at her. "Really?"
Momo smiled, fighting the urge to cry. "Of course! We'll listen."
The chain became taut and Haru began to walk again. His expression was tired but contemplative.
"OK," Haru said.
Momo’s heart jumped for joy. She’d reached him. The worst was over.
She walked alongside him and her captain followed.
Dawn was breaking over Karakura Town when Haru finally went quiet. He had raged and wept for hours. Shinji had listened, occasionally offering a word here and there when it was needed. He'd even managed to make the kid laugh.
Now the boy was quiet, looking into the middle distance with thoughtful eyes. Shinji dared to hope the kid was finally ready.
"I wonder if dad's over there," Haru murmured.
Momo gave an enthusiastic nod. "Oh most definitely!"
"Depends," said Shinji. "Was he a murderer or asshole of similar description?"
Momo gaped at him. "Captain!"
"No way!" said Haru, anger flaring. "My dad was a good guy!"
Shinji grinned. "Then he'll be there somewhere, kid."
Haru's anger faded and he cracked a smile. "You're weird," he said. "But I like you."
The boy looked back at his chained former tormentor, walking on ahead.
"I'm ready," he said. "I don't wanna stay here with him."
Shinji nodded. "Alright." He turned to his lieutenant. "Momo, wanna do the honours?"
Momo gave him a smile, a real one this time, and she unsheathed her Zanpakuto.
"Of course!"
"Whoa, you're gonna stab me?" Haru cried.
Shinji laughed. "Nah, she's just gonna tap yer forehead with the hilt. It's the ritual to send off souls."
Haru relaxed, and Momo prepared to do her duty.
"Before you do that," Haru said suddenly, "I wanna know - could I be a Soul Reaper, like you guys?"
Shinji grinned. "Yeah, but you gotta work your goddamn ass off first!"
Haru returned the gesture. There was life in his eyes. "Fine by me. See ya."
"So long, kid."
Momo was smiling through tears. "See you soon!"
Shinji watched as she raised the hilt of her Zanpakuto and lightly tapped the boy's forehead.
In seconds, Haru had disappeared. The chain of fate disintegrated, link by link, until it too was gone. His tormentor stopped in his tracks. After a pause, the youth breathed a long, grateful sigh, and kept walking.
"Huh," Shinji muttered. "Guess the kid did feel Haru's presence. Not surprisin', but -"
Momo fell to her knees and Shinji rushed to her side.
"What's wrong?"
"My legs,” she whispered. “I can’t stop shaking."
Shinji let out a small sigh. It was the duty of Soul Reapers to guide and protect the dead, but Soul Reapers too had been human once; they had hearts that could be moved and broken.
"You did well.”
“I was so scared!” Momo gasped. “I hardly remember what I said!”
He chuckled. “Don’t matter - you helped him pass on. If he’d been left like that he’d’ve either gotten eaten by a Hollow or become one himself.”
Momo nodded. She knew as well as any Soul Reaper what happened to such tortured souls.
Shinji offered a hand, flashing his most charming grin. “Come on, I’ll carry you princess-style through the Senkaimon!”
Momo shot to her feet, her face burning red. “No way!”
Shinji wilted as if she’d crushed his life’s dream. “Aw, come on! Girls dream of stuff like that!”
His lieutenant’s outraged baby face was adorable. “Not this one!”
She stomped away, sheathing her blade with a snap.
Shinji strode ahead of her, chuckling. He glanced back with a teasing grin. “Last chance - I’m gonna open it!”
“No!”
Shinji grinned. Girl had fire in her. “Buzzkill.”
Momo and her captain returned to the barracks as afternoon faded into evening over Seireitei. She expected questions and expressions of worry from her comrades, but it seemed that Captain Hirako had forewarned them all of his intention to visit the human world with her.
She pored over the company’s accounts book. I’ve got a tricky Captain, she thought.
Music played softly from her captain’s turntable. It was something Shinji called ‘acid jazz’. Momo had no idea what he was talking about, but it had a catchy beat that was good for keeping momentum. Like her captain, it was strange, but she liked it.
Momo glanced up from her writing desk to where her Captain sat at his own, tapping his pen along to the beat. Momo doubted he was actually paying attention to his papers.
Shinji caught her looking and grinned.
Momo put her head down, but was startled when her captain began to sing. Momo had never heard him sing before. Stranger yet, he sung in English.
‘No one can enslave anybody
Who's got freedom, freedom of mind
But what they sure as hell can do
Is to put you in the grave
'Cos they know you've got freedom of mind...’
The captain winked and proceeded to hum the rest, busying himself with his paperwork. Momo hadn’t the faintest idea what any of those words meant, but somehow she felt more at ease.
Encouraged, she continued her work. Soon, however, Haru returned to her thoughts. Momo wondered where in the Soul Society he was now, gathering his bearings and making his first steps. She hoped he wasn’t too scared, and that, one day, she might see him standing before her clad in the uniform of the Soul Reapers.
Momo’s smile faded. He’d been in so much pain. Of course, she knew there would always be humans suffering, both in life and in death, but it still hurt to think of it.
“You’re that far already?”
Momo jumped and looked up. A figure smiled down at her with kindly eyes. In the dim light, she saw Aizen’s face.
“Momo?”
She was frozen in terror, unable to speak, gazing up at his face as if he were the monster of her nightmares.
Shinji reached out a hand and touched her shoulder. “Momo, it’s me. Captain Hirako. Momo!”
The girl twitched and blinked, as if waking from a dream. Realising what had happened, she jumped to her feet and bowed frantically before him.
“Please forgive me, Captain! It won’t happen again! I don’t know what--!”
Shinji held up his hands with dramatic malencholy. “Alright, alright, just come out and say it - I’m a hideous beast not fit for human eyes! I get it, I get it.”
Momo stared at him, tearful and bewildered. N-no, that's not..."
Shinji sighed, stepping over to the turntable and stopping the record. She’d been suffering in silence all day, putting on a brave face, and now she was beating herself up. She expected to be able to run normally with two sprained feet.
“Momo,” he said, turning. “Look at me. Am I angry? Am I offended?”
Momo shook her head.
Shinji smiled, approaching her with breezy steps. “Some days you’ll trip up, you’ll remember things you don’t wanna, you’ll act in ways you don’t wanna. So will I!” He put both hands on her shoulder and looked into her eyes. “Give yerself time.”
Momo’s eyes welled up with tears and she looked down at her shoes. “I thought about him today,” she said.
“Me too,” Shinji said, something that seemed to surprise her. “Yeah, I did!”
“I - I thought I saw him…”
“It’s still too early to look back an’ not feel pain. Hell,” - Shinji threw up his arms - “it’s been a hundred years, and I’m still pissed off! He’s been gone from your life for what, a year and a half? Aizen ain't a man you can just forget ” - He snapped his fingers - “like that.”
Momo wiped her eyes, still not meeting his. “I… lied to you today, Captain,” she murmured.
Shinji waited.
“When I said I was fine - I lied to you.” She choked back a sob.
“It’s alright, Momo,” Shinji said. “I might be a prickly son-of-a-bitch, but you gotta be honest with yerself as much as with me.”
Momo nodded. She understood, but Shinji knew well enough that understanding and practising were two different things, especially when such delicate matters were involved.
He scratched his head and heaved a sigh. “Aah, I’ve never said anythin’ like this to my lieutenant before. Not since-”
“I guess," Momo whispered, "we’re both Aizen’s prisoners."
“Bullshit!” Shinji cried, making her jump. “You know what else you did today?” He smiled. “You saved a kid’s soul. That kid was sufferin', and you reached out and helped him. You pushed through, and got it done - like this!”
He stepped towards her desk and slapped the book she had been writing in. “Do you know how long I’ve been puttin’ these off? You’ve nearly finished it all!”
Reaching out, he patted Momo on the head. “You’re someone a captain can count on.”
Tears spilled down Momo’s cheeks. Overcome, she stepped forward and clung to Shinji’s robes. Shinji put his arms around her and held her as she sobbed.
“Here I am, gettin’ all fuzzy and spillin’ my guts,” Shinji sighed, patting her head. “I’m countin’ on you, remember that. And not just fer the stuff I hate doin'.”
He felt Momo nod her head. “Yes, Captain!” she whimpered. “I’ll work hard - for Fifth Company!”
Shinji chuckled. “Hey, we’re in this together. I’ve gotta bust my ass too sometimes."
Momo sniffed and stood up. Stepping away from her captain, she looked up and smiled. Her face was damp and flushed, but her smile was real. It was a beautiful smile.
Shinji grinned. “You had no clue what I was singin’ earlier did ya?”
“None, Captain.”
Shinji sighed. “Fine, I’ll translate it - quicker than teachin’ ya English.” Stepping back, Shinji took her hands and started to step back and forth, swaying a little, a quiet dance. Momo was startled, but she quickly followed suit. He sang once more, to the tune of the song.
“No one can enslave anybody
Who's got freedom, freedom of mind!”
He spun her around and Momo laughed. Shinji smiled. He’d never heard her laugh before.
“Captain, that was wonderful!” Momo cried. “I love this song!”
“There’s way more where that one came from!” Shinji said. “I’ll show ya.”
“Please!”
The door opened suddenly and a short, white-haired youth clad in white captain robes entered. "Captain Hirako, is Momo…”
Captain Hitsugaya saw them holding hands and froze. “What’s this?”
“We’re havin’ a dance party,” Shinji said, grinning petulantly. “Wanna join?”
“No!” Hitsugaya snapped, turning to Momo. “It’s late. He isn’t slave-driving you, is he?”
“Of course not!” Momo cried. “Shiro-chan, don’t be mean!”
“If dancin’ is slave-drivin’, I want more of it!” Shinji yelled. "And the hell do you get off, bargin' inta another Company's barracks?"
Hitsugaya frowned. “You’re making Momo do your accounts, aren’t you, Hirako?”
Shinji sighed. “Whatever.” He glanced out the window behind his desk. Night obscured everything in darkness. “I guess it is late.”
He patted Momo’s shoulder. “Good work today. Get yerself to bed.”
“Are you sure, Captain?” Momo asked.
Shinji grinned. “Don’t want my cute lieutenant gettin’ sick.” His grin widened when he saw Hitsugaya flush and bristle angrily. He was just too easy.
Momo smiled and went to join Hitsugaya. Before leaving she turned to her captain and bowed deeply. “Thank you so much for today!” she said.
Shinji waved. “Yeah, yeah. Goodnight.”
Momo left, closing the door behind her. Alone in his office once more, Shinji let out a small sigh and approached his turntable.
Aizen’s shadow haunted them both, and it would be some time before they could confidently leave its darkness. Until then, they had work to do. Jazz to dance to.
Shinji smiled and set the record to play. Humming the tune, he sat down and continued his work.
“Sounds like you had a good day.” Hitsugaya smiled. He and Momo walked together down the corridor towards her living quarters, chatting.
“Yes,” said Momo, smiling. “The Captain is wonderful. His sense of humour is a bit crude, and he complains a lot, but he’s a good man.”
“He’ll make you do everything he hates doing,” Hitsugaya warned.
“I know," said Momo. "I won't let him, though."
Hitsugaya smiled. They reached her quarters and parted ways.
“Good night, Momo.”
“Goodnight, Shiro-chan!”
Momo watched until her friend was gone before entering her room. Her body was heavy with exhaustion and she flopped down onto her bed without bothering to change.
Momo let out a small sigh. Her mind was quiet for the first time in months. She could think clearly, and see the path ahead of her. She had finished her first day, and was ready for many more. The pain Aizen had inflicted had not left her, but Momo was no longer worried.
She had a captain to serve, jazz to dance to.
Drifting off, she whispered the words to her favourite song.
“No one can enslave anybody
Who's got freedom, freedom of mind...”