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It was Silver’s birthday.
And he sat alone in his room.
He didn’t leave his bed. The second he opened his eyes he’d just rolled over and pulled his blankets over his head. A small, morbid corner of his brain hoped he’d suffocate. The rest of his mind told him that was extremely unlikely. So instead he laid there, curled into a tight ball under his blankets, picking at the scabbing-over cuts on his arms until they bled anew as he remembered days long-since passed.
For it wasn’t only his birthday.
It was Ibis’, too.
He remembered the first – and only – birthday they shared together. None of the Septics were around yet, and Ibis was Daniel’s only ego, so it was just him, Silver, and the other egos (except for Bing, Eric, and Reynolds, who weren’t around yet either). Wilford and Bim had thrown some big party, and Silver distinctly remembered laughing so hard at the Jims wrapping Ibis in wrapping paper and attempting to pass it off as ‘you are your own gift!’ that he nearly passed out, Ibis grinning just as much. Afterwards, as dusk settled over the word, he and Ibis had flown up to the roof, sharing the remains of their cake and just…talking. Just talking, and laughing, and swapping inside jokes that had them both in stitches while anyone else who would’ve looked on would’ve thought they were insane.
Silver physically ached for those times. He would give anything to have the ability to create more of those moments, just sitting on the roof and feeling so comfortable with each other that they didn’t even need to talk, that just being with each other was enough. But then Ibis…
A gunshot rang out in Silver’s mind, making him flinch horribly and squeeze his eyes shut, but the image of blood spreading across the floor, soaking into his knees as he clutched Ibis to his chest was permanently emblazoned into the backs of his eyelids. It had taken both Google and Dark to pry him away, screaming at the top of his lungs as Dr. Iplier checked for a pulse he knew wasn’t there.
He was pretty sure his scream when Dr. Iplier shook his head still rung in all of their ears.
He wasn’t even aware he was sobbing until his breath hitched when someone knocked gently on his door. He curled into a tighter ball when Eric’s timid voice rang out. “S-Silver…? Are you…okay? I-it’s almost noon.”
Silver said nothing, just covered the back of his head with his arms as he buried his face between his knees. Eric continued to talk, seeming determined to not leave him alone. “Um…the-the others said it was your birthday. They…they also said wh-why you don’t like celebrating it. I’m…sorry. A-about your friend. I-Ibis, right? I-I-I asked the others about him, but-but they didn’t really know anything. Do…d-do you want to talk about him?”
At the mention of Ibis’ name, Silver let out a gasping sob, hands fisting in his hair. But, as Eric’s little speech continued, Silver opened his eyes, shoving the covers off himself. Hesitantly, he slipped out of bed, rubbing at his bleeding arms, before he cautiously opened his door. Eric jumped back in surprise, clearly not expecting him to actually respond, but he smiled at him all the same. Silver’s brow furrowed, giving Eric an odd lock, as if he was studying his intentions. “Are you…Do you really wan to know? About him?”
Eric gave him a bright smile, nodding his head. “Sure! He’s clearly important to you, a-and I won’t get to meet him, so…” He cleared his throat, lifting his hands and revealing the package of mint Oreos he held. “I brought an offering, too. They-they’re your favorite, right?”
Silver allowed a tiny smile to spread across his face, nodding slightly, and he pushed the door open further, moving to go sit back on his bed. Eric followed, closing the door gently behind him as Silver continued to rub and scratch at his arms. He was thankful Eric made no comment as he sat down beside him, shifting a little before staring up at him expectantly. Silver let out a short, breathless laugh, moving instead to rub the back of his head. “I don’t…I don’t even know where to begin. No one’s…really asked before. I mean, Jackie did once, but I couldn’t really tell him much at the time. It…hadn’t even been a year.”
He drew a shuddering breath, glancing at the framed photo of him and Ibis on his nightstand before staring at his lap. He couldn’t help but smile. “Well, first off, the guy had the worst memory. Like, one time he forgot he was getting a new TV and that he’d taken the old one down, so he’d spent half a day freaking out over someone stealing his TV before I reminded him.”
Eric snorted, covering his mouth with his hand and shoulders shaking, and Silver smiled, tears pouring silently down his face. “The Jims loved him. He was so…he was just so weird and quirky – just like them – that they got along great. He once helped them hook up a security camera in Google’s room. Back then he rarely left his room, and when he did it was just to go to his office. They were curious. Google nearly killed them.”
By now Silver was laughing as well as Eric giggled beside him. He continued telling stories, of all the stupid antics he and Ibis got up to in the past. All the while, silent tears trailed down his cheeks, making his face shine as Eric listened with rapt attention. It took a couple of hours for Silver to reach his limit, as his stories grew closer and closer to that day. At long last, he folded his hands back in his lap, staring down. “He…he was my best friend. He even appeared on the doorstep with me, back when we were first created, instead of anywhere else, and he was here so often he felt like one of us. I…”
The dam finally burst, and Silver broke down, digging his nails into the dozens of cuts on his arm. “I don’t understand why he would leave me! He-he was always so happy, I thought we were good, I thought we would last forever! I don’t – when I heard the gunshot – why did he leave me alone?”
Silver’s voice completely broke and he curled forward, body shuddering with the force of his sobs. He flinched when Eric place a hand on his back, his breath hitching. “You’re…you’re not alone, Silver. You have all of us. And Jackie. I know h-he may not be Ibis, b-but he relies on you just as much as Ibis did. He needs you, Silver.” Eric suddenly stiffened. “Speaking of Jackie…he’s been calling all day. Has all month really. And according to Chase – via Bing – he’s been accidentally setting things on fire with his eyes all day, too.”
Silver snorted out a laugh, uncurling slowly and wiping his eyes with the heel of his hand. “Yeah, sounds like Jackie. I-I’ll talk to him.” He gave Eric a smile – small, but genuine. “Thank you. I…didn’t know how much I needed that.” He glanced at his lap, fiddling with his fingers. “M-maybe Dr. Iplier’s right and I should get someone to talk to…”
Eric gave him a warm smile. “You know we’ll support you in anything you decide.” He stood, placing the cookies he brought on the bed before backing toward the door. “I’ll uh…I-I-I’ll leave you alone now. Happy birthday, Silver.”
Silver said nothing, just watched as Eric left, once again closing the door gently in his wake. Silver didn’t move either, not for a long moment, till he drew a shuddering breath – almost a sob – and he reached for his phone on the nightstand. He’d turned it off the second Dr. Iplier had let him go back to his room after he unintentionally almost killed himself and he had access to his phone again. He winced as it powered back up and he saw the literal hundreds of missed calls and texts from Jackie, all spanning the past month.
Swallowing passed the lump in his throat, he sent the Septic a simple ‘Hey.’ and waited.
He didn’t wait long. Almost instantly his phone began to quietly play ‘I Need a Hero’, and he sighed before answering. He winced again at Jackie’s frantic screaming voice. “Silver! Silver oh my God, what’s wrong, what’s happened, I’ve been tryin’ t’contact you for a month! I got Dr. Iplier’s number from Schneep but he wouldn’t tell me anythin’, just said you’ll talk t’me when you were ready, and Chase didn’t tell me anythin’ either from when he was at your place for Bing’s birthday! I’ve been worried sick about you!” There was a pause, and Silver could’ve sworn he heard Jackie sob. “The…the last I saw of you, you were barely able t’function, and you kept breakin’ down at anythin’, and I thought…I thought…”
“…I’m fine, Jackie. At least, I am now.” He let out a breathy laugh, trying his best to choke down the sobs that bubbled up in his throat. “I…still don’t want to talk about it. I can’t do that yet, but I can show you later. Whenever I see you next.”
“Show?! Show me what, Silver, what did you do?!”
“You don’t have to worry about it for now, just…apparently Chase said you kept lighting stuff on fire. What’s up?”
He heard Jackie snort, sounding on the verge of hysterics. “You utter dick, I was worried about you! You just…dropped off the face of the Earth for a whole month! Of course I’m gonna be lightin’ stuff on fire! It’s…it’s your birthday, Silver. You can’t just…I’ve missed you. Fightin’ crime’s a lot more difficult when you don’t have someone watchin’ your back.”
Silver’s free hand tore at his hair, squeezing his eyes shut as guilt washed over him. “I’m…sorry, I’m so sorry, Jackie, I was desperate, I wasn’t thinking about you, o-or anyone really, I just didn’t want to hurt anymore, and all I ended up doing was hurt everyone around me, I –”
“Whoa, hey, Silver, calm down! I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re goin’ on about, but I think I have an idea. I just…I just hope I’m wrong. But…whatever it may be, it’s okay. It’s okay, I promise.”
Silver gave a choked laugh, wiping at his eyes again. “Okay. Whatever you say. Hey um, D-Dr. Iplier’s probably gonna clear me to head back out with you soon. So th-that’s good news.”
“Don’t push yourself, Silver. As anxious as I am to see you, I don’t want you t’rush getting’ out there before you’re ready. I’m…I’m just glad you finally reached out. I think all of the others over here were about ready t’tear their own hair out with how much pacin’ I’ve been doin’.”
Silver snorted. “I can imagine.” Suddenly he yawned, flopping back onto his bed, his eyes slipping shut. “Hmm…I-I-I think I’m gonna go back to bed. I just…wanted to finally talk to you. To soothe your nerves.”
He chuckled, grinning at Jackie’s brief, cackling laugh. “Yeah, whatever makes you feel better, pal. Happy birthday, Silver. I’ll see you soon, yeah?”
Silver nodded, half-asleep and not quite realizing Jackie couldn’t see. “Mm hm…” He drifted off before he could even hang up, phone still pressed to his ear as he snored lightly. He didn’t hear Jackie’s soft chuckle, didn’t hear his hum as he hung up. All he felt was…peace.
This was the best birthday he’s had in a long time.