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Midoriya looked up from where he was standing, sheepishly holding out the small box that he was hiding behind his back. He wished he wasn’t so nervous. He wished he oozed confidence like those in his class. He wanted to be more, to be someone good for the person in front of him.
“This is for you, Todoroki-kun! I hope you like it!” Midoriya said. He bounced on the balls of his feet, his nervous energy manifesting itself in his whole body. It twirled and spun inside him, trying to escape.
Midoriya watched as Todoroki reached forward to take the box. Their fingers touched as he took the book and to Midoriya it felt like he was being shocked. He could feel his heart pumping in his chest. Could Todoroki hear it?
“Thank you Midoriya. It isn’t my birthday though, what is this for?” Todoroki asked. Todoroki had the cutest look on his face. His eyebrows were furrowed slightly, head tilted, and hair just almost falling in front of his eyes. Midoriya wanted to reach up and brush his hair back.
Midoriya took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he was about to say. “I got you that to show my feelings. I really like you Todoroki-kun!” Midoriya threw himself down into a bow, “I’ve liked you for a long time and I wanted to tell you but I’ve been worrying because if you didn’t reciprocate I didn’t want to ruin our friendship or make it awkward because I really cherish our relationship and being friends with you and I didn’t want to lose that but then I realized that I was starting to act weird because of it so — ”. Midoriya was cut off by Todoroki reaching out and putting his hand on his shoulder.
He looked up at Todoroki and saw that he was smiling softly, eyes wide, clutching the box tightly. Was that a good sign? A bad one? He looked like he was about to cry. Oh my god, was Todoroki going to cry? That set off a whole other set of anxiety in Midoriya as he waited for Todoroki to respond.
Todoroki didn’t say anything, he just took his hand back and opened the present–hands shaking slightly. He took out a little enamel pin of a green flame. Seeing Todoroki holding it set another wave of fear through Midoriya. Why did he even think it was a good idea to buy it in the first place when it was so tacky?
His potential freak out was enhanced when Todoroki’s eyes started watering. Todoroki was crying and he ruined everything and their friendship was over.
Midoriya threw his arms around Todoroki and pulled him into a hug. He could feel the other shaking in his grip which only made him feel worse. He never wanted to make Todoroki feel bad. He just wanted to stop hiding things from him, to stop lying to him. He held Todoroki tightly when the other didn’t reject his hug.
Todoroki started crying properly and hugged Midoriya back, grabbing a fist full of Midoriya’s shirt. The two of them stood there for a while as Todoroki sobbed into Midoriya.
Midoriya’s mind was in overdrive. He didn’t say anything. There was nothing he could say until Todoroki was ready to talk. All he could do was stand there, wait, and hope he didn’t just ruin their friendship.
After a while, Todoroki started to calm down. He pulled back from Midoriya slowly, taking a couple of deep breathes and wiping his tears away. “I… I’m sorry. I meant to say something but I couldn’t control myself. I like you too Midoriya. A lot,” Todoroki said quietly. He fiddled with the pin in hand, not looking up at Midoriya.
Midoriya stood there, trying to process what Todoroki said. He reached out and took Todoroki’s free hand, squeezing it gently while he took a second to think. “Why did you start crying then? Is everything okay?”
“I’m scared. I try so hard to move past being identified by what kind of man my dad is, but when you said that you liked me I couldn’t think of anything other than the fact that I don’t know how to be a good boyfriend. I’m so terrified that I’m going to be the same as him. How am I supposed to move on and be better than him when every instinct of mine has been trained to view his actions as normal,” Todoroki sighed. He took a deep shaky breath before adding on quietly, “How am I supposed to be better than him?”
Hearing that, Midoriya stood up straighter, tightening his grip on Todoroki’s hand. He knew it wasn’t possible but he wanted to say some magic words to make Todoroki’s fears go away. He knew it was more complicated than that and would take time and healing but he was determined to be there for Todoroki during that process–if he would have him.
“Hey, you’re better than him. It’s not that your instincts are programmed to think what he did was right, you know he’s wrong. You have an example of what not to do. A-and you’re not going to be alone. I’ll be there too! I don’t really know what I’m doing. We can figure it out together. I believe in your heart. It will lead you down a good path,” Midoriya said sternly.
Todoroki smiled and nodded slightly. “Thank you. That means a lot. I’m still scared. But I think that I can try. I want to try... Oh, and I really like the pin, thank you for getting it for me,” he said, obviously trying to change the subject.
“I’m glad. When I saw it I thought of us, so I bought it,” Midoriya said sheepishly. He accepted the subject change, he was glad that Todoroki was looking happier. If everything went in the direction that he thought it would, they would have plenty of time to talk about it later. He felt his heart trying to beat itself out of his chest again, but this time for a different, happier reason. “Would you like to go on a date, Todoroki-kun?” he asked, hopeful.
“I would love to.”