Chapter Text
“Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on it's sword
Innocents died screaming, honey ask me I should know
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door - Hozier, “From Eden”
The first rain had begun to fall.
At the edge of the eastern gate stood an angel and a demon, and far beyond the wall in the distance two humans battled it out with vicious beasts as they searched desperately for shelter. It was never supposed to go this way- it was supposed to be Paradise. The Angel known as Aziraphale watched helplessly as the glow of a fiery sword slowly began to disappear over the horizon of a sand dune. There was going to be a lot of paperwork over this, surely.
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What was funny were the days that led up to today. So far, for all intents and purposes, they had been nice days. Every day was nice. In fact there had been more than several of them already. Aziraphale, guardian of the eastern gate of Eden, had spent much of those days watching the humans below with awe and astonishment. He loved them dearly, and understood so easily why the Almighty had gone to such trouble to create them. They were fascinating little things and the angel couldn’t help but feel as though he were solely responsible for their well-being (never we mind the other three angels that stood at the other gates; Raphael, Uriel, and Raguel.)
Somewhere around the third day, God had seemed to give them all a brilliant light show in the evening. The humans, who we’ll call Adam and Eve, decided to call the light show a meteor shower. What none of them knew was the shower was not of space rock, but that of fallen angels. Aziraphale found himself feeling terribly sad that night for a reason he couldn’t quite put a finger on.
It wasn’t until Gabriel showed up the following day to issue Aziraphale a flaming sword that he had found out. Yes, he had known rumors of the Rebellion, but it seemed to be something still so far off, that the idea came off as a foreign concept to him. Yet, it couldn’t be helped if it had come sooner. Gabriel spoke briefly about the War and the Fall, explaining that the sword was to be used if any fallen angels- they called them demons now, - dared show their faces, and it would be Aziraphale who would see to it that the Garden remained protected at whatever cost. It was part of the Great Plan, Gabriel had said with a smile so wide even the Principality had a hard time looking at his boss dead in the eyes for fear that he would go blind by the sheer shine of Gabriel’s perfect teeth.
This in turn made the entire scenario of him simply giving it away that much more hilariously ironic. But that’s a story for another time.
It’s perhaps worth noting that had Aziraphale been in Heaven on the day of the Fall, he may have been one himself. It wasn’t that he questioned God, but he would surely have put himself in the middle of it, anxiously attempting to quell the rebellion and restore what peace he could only assume was needed and muster it from deep within him. It’s possible, if he had been there and done that, that he would simply have been cast out of Heaven for ‘meddling’ in what was already “fated” to happen.
It is perhaps best not to dwell on those kinds of thoughts.
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“You know there’s another one down there?” The demon Crawley hummed.
“I’m-I’m sorry, what?” came the exasperated reply of the angel who had already returned his attention back to the two in the desert. He had let his mind wander from the conversation they had just been having about God’s Ineffable Plan, Crawley’s subsequent demonic intervention in what was supposed to have been Paradise, and had focused his entire being on Adam and Eve as they began to crest an even further sand dune. Aziraphale’s head swung back to look at the serpentine demon, locking his own bright blue eyes with the bright yellow eyes of Crawley.
“Mm, yeah. There were three of them, last I checked. It’s funny,” Crawley mused with a thin lipped smile as he turned his attention from the angel back out across the barren lands, “I tried to tempt her first but she wasn’t having any of it. Surprised she didn’t stop the other two from doing the same.”
By now, Aziraphale’s look had turned from frightened to aghast at what Crawley had just said. He’d attempted to tempt all three humans within Eden? All he could do was stand there, dumbfounded with his mouth open as the demon carried on talking without what seemed to be a care in the world.
“Guess it’s not all bad,” Crawley finally shrugged, turning back to look over the wall back into the Garden. The storm clouds only darkened overhead as the rain began to come down harder, “you lot still got one good apple.” Again, he smiled, but this time at the joke he’d just invented. Aziraphale’s look of pure disgust at what had just left the demon’s mouth wore clearly on his face as he gave a disapproving huff.
“Well, I better pop off then...Home office will be excited to hear that the whole, ‘Go-Up-There-And-Make-Some-Trouble’ campaign was...mm, more or less a complete success.”
“I-I-I beg your pardon!” the angel balked as he turned to watch Crawley shuffle towards the edge of the wall; lowering the wing he had previously been using to cover the demon’s head. “What do you mean more or less?! You, you, you tempted God’s creation! You rebelled!” His voice had grown ever so slightly high pitched at the mere thought of all that was happening around him.
Crawley gave the angel a smirk.
“And you gave them your flaming sword.”
The words stung Aziraphale worse than the rain that pelted his face and the thunder that boomed overhead. He watched dumbstruck as Crawley slunk back down into his snake form and slithered down to Eden, down to where he had first entered the garden.
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It didn’t take long for God to send Her Holy and Divine message to Aziraphale. It came through louder than Her voice had ever been, booming irritably through his brain as he received the telepathic message. Eden would be temporarily closing up shop until the human race repented for what they had done with their disobedience. There would be one, however, that would remain within the Garden for she did not find herself tempted by the serpent Crawley, and therefore there would only be one angel required to stay.
The archangel Raguel had been chosen, of course, as he manned the Southern Gate. Raguel was a strong, burly angel with more muscle mass than Aziraphale, Michael, and Uriel combined. He was a force to be reckoned with and it seemed only natural for him to be the one left behind. Raphael and Uriel were to report back upstairs for reassignment per the orders of the Almighty. For Aziraphale, his orders were completely different. The Principality had let two of the three humans become tempted by a foul, and wily demon, and there would be consequences. The orders came from Gabriel himself; Aziraphale would be left on Earth for the time being to continue to watch over the humans and see to it that certain events and people that were to be did not fall into evil hands and temptations. Consider it a redemption arc, Gabriel had smugly said in Aziraphale’s inner monologue (the angel assumed he was being smug based on the tone of his voice. In fact, he could almost picture his boss’s tight lipped smile; always there, always bearing teeth…) and that he would be given orders from the Head Office about what sort of ground work he was to do. All in all, it sounded simple; watch over humanity and see to it that it doesn’t fall into the hands of those evil demons. If he was going to do that, however, he was going to need his sword.
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Aziraphale found himself standing in the middle of the Garden, taking it all in one last time before he set out on his journey. The rains had all but begun to pass overhead and the dreary grey sky was all that remained in an otherwise bright and vibrant world. Oh, if only they had written down what it all looked like; he would have loved to have kept a keepsake from Eden. The angel’s face contorted into a solemn look as he did his best to put every last detail to memory. If nothing else, perhaps he would write about it somewhere, or find someone who could do a much better job than he.
Only once on his way out did he catch a glimpse of the third human who inhabited this Paradise. She was busy eating off of a blackberry bush, but she nevertheless turned around as he drew closer. Their eyes met for a moment, and Aziraphale gave her a small but awkward smile and wave of the hand before he continued on his way to the soon to be blocked entrance to Eden. What he didn’t know was that this third human, who for all intents and purposes will call Lilith, had begun to follow him towards the gate. She seemed intrigued to see another there, and that intrigue led her to the stone wall that she hadn’t ever really noticed before. She’d seen it, sure, but she hadn’t noticed it. What she was really noticing was the large hole that had been carved out of the side of it, and a hole that the man was walking through. She blinked, took a step forward and stopped. Ahead of her, the angel man had turned around, their eyes meeting once more as he waved his hand over the wall and the stone began to repair itself. Lilith took another step forward but as she did, the last stone was set into place and a gust of wind drew her back from the wall.
Outside of Eden, Aziraphale stood, taking in and staring out ahead in to the endless void of sand. It was then that a bright light shone on his face, and the booming voice of God once more came forth, reverberating throughout his entire body.
“Aziraphale. Angel of the Eastern Gate,” it boomed.
“Y-Yes, Lord. Hello, Lord.” Aziraphale croaked out nervously.
“Where is the flaming sword I gave you, Aziraphale, to guard the Gate of Eden?”
“Ahh-- Sword? Right. Big...Sharp...Cutty thing. Yes. Must have..Must have put it down somewhere. Forget my own head next.” He forced a guilty chuckle as he waited for a reply. But when none came and the light faded, he couldn’t help but feel a cold shiver run up through his spine. It was settled then. He would need to find his sword from that lovely couple, and then he would become the Angel who Guarded Humanity. Yet as he took those first few steps from the safe walls of Eden, something most curious had happened. The sand that once lay dormant at the feet of sandstone walls began to whip up in a strong gust of wind, carrying it up higher and higher until it finally encompassed the entirety of the garden. All at once, a Garden that had been there was no longer there. Only an endless sandstorm. Aziraphale covered his face as he stepped further and further away from the place he once called home.
It was settled then. Find the sword. Begin the job. Repent for his mistakes and hopefully avoid doing the paperwork in the process. Aziraphale took in a deep breath and turned his attention towards the horizon.