Work Text:
SCENE: Harry plunges down into the Pensieve and lands in the Great Hall in the year 1975 where he sees the Marauders, Snape, and other students finishing up their owls.
HARRY:
Is this the Great Hall
Back in the seventies?
Caught in their OWLs
It's my dad and Snape that I see
STUDENTS:
Is this thing done?
'Cause we need some fun quickly...
JAMES: (and Sirius, Remus, and Peter)
I'm just a Chaser (Oooooh.... Chaser)
Or maybe a Seeker
SIRIUS, REMUS, and PETER:
Because he doesn't know
Where to go
He flies high
He flies low
JAMES, SIRIUS, REMUS, and PETER:
Anyway the thing is
Just one thing quite matters to me/he
JAMES:
Lily...
(The Marauders walk out onto the grounds with everyone, and as they sit underneath the beech tree, James begins playing with the snitch, Remus begins reading, and Sirius just stares around looking bored as many passing girls check him out. Peter looks at his friends, and then thinks to himself)
PETER:
My friends...
They're all so great
Like Prongs is so popular
Because he's a Quidditch star
Padfoot, he always gets dates
Moony's brain I will never compensate
Oh why...
Ooh...
Why I'm such a useless guy
And if I were to die, no one would cry 'cause
Time goes by, where am I?
It's like I don't really matter
(Remus, who hasn't really been paying all that much attention to his book and has instead been listening to his friends, peers over his book, and in turn, now thinks to himself)
REMUS:
My friends...
I feel at home
They care and make me laugh
Our adventures are so fine
But they're carried off on
Paths not to roam
Gotta tell them all that they're so out of line!
(His mouth slightly moves as if he is going to say something, but he closes it and slightly shakes his head)
I can't...
Ooh... (cause I kind of like it)
Plus I have this fear
If I say so, they might go and leave me here
(The musical interlude is filled by some very dramatic and triumphant catchings of the snitch from James, until he suddenly stops and looks over to where fellow student Severus Snape is sitting. He and Sirius go to approach him)
JAMES:
I see a greasy-haired Slytherin over there
SIRIUS:
Snivellus!
Snivellus!
Would you like to come join us?
JAMES and SIRIUS:
Curses, spells, and dueling
Hexes we are fueling now!
(They begin firing spells)
JAMES:
Hey Snivellus!
SIRIUS:
Hey Snivellus!
JAMES:
Ex'pell'armus!
SIRIUS:
Pet- Totalus!
JAMES and SIRIUS:
Locomotor Mortis, so
Get up, Sniv'lly- ee- ee -ee -ee...
SNAPE:
I'm just a poor boy
Nobody loves me
JAMES and SIRIUS:
You're just a weirdo
That's something we all know
Too much knowledge of the Dark Arts you show!
(A crowd has now formed around James, Sirius, and Snape, including a cheering Peter, a Remus wearing a disapproving face as he bites back the urge to laugh, and Lily, as she wanders over toward the front)
SNAPE:
Oh, all right
Let's not fight
Will you let me go?
JAMES and SIRIUS:
Well, let's think:
No! We will not let you go!
LILY:
Let him go!
REMUS and PETER:
So now what?
JAMES and SIRIUS:
We will not let you free!
LILY:
Let him be!
REMUS and PETER:
What a row
JAMES and SIRIUS:
We will not let him go!
LILY:
Let him go!
JAMES and SIRIUS:
Won't let him escape!
LILY:
Leave off Snape!
JAMES:
Won't you date my way?
REMUS and PETER:
Never ever ever ever goes a day......
LILY:
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
JAMES:
Oh Lily Evans
Lily Evans
LILY:
James Potter
Do as I said
The squid's hotter
Because he does not have your fat head
Fat head
Fat head!!!
(Harry is suddenly ripped from the memory by a furious Professor Snape, who begins throwing jars in rhythmic timing at Harry and chasing him around the office.)
PROFESSOR SNAPE:
So you think you can visit in my private mind?
So you think you can get out after what you find?
Nooo, Potter!
Just get out of here, Potter!
I never will teach
You Occlumency again now!
(There are some more jars thrown in rhythmic timing, and this continues until Harry has finally made it out of the office and escapes halfway down the hall, where he stops, leans against the wall, and contemplates what he just saw)
HARRY:
Now I've seen my father
That was hard to see
He was so arrogant
So how did he marry
Lily?
(Suddenly, a random unanswered question comes to Harry's mind)
Did he take off Snape's pants...?