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The first to leave his heart was Ventus. He had been in there for a long time and Sora didn’t even notice. Until he was gone, and somehow, he felt a sting in his heart and it lingered there. The feeling never subsided afterwards, even though Ventus was right next to him.
Then Xion and Roxas both left his heart as well. The stinging feeling grew, it hurt more than he wanted to admit. Still, Sora fought his battles, not showing any kind of discomfort to his friends.
When he watched Vanitas vanish before his eyes, he felt like he lost another piece of himself. Vanitas had said it, that he was Sora’s shadow, another part that Sora did not know about before. But now that he lost it, he knew.
The pain in his heart had turned into an indescribable feeling. Sora felt a sting and a burn like having a heart attack, while at the same time it felt so hollow and empty as if he didn’t even have a heart anymore.
It was tearing him apart, and still, Sora kept fighting. Just a little more, just this one fight. No one could see how much Sora was already hurting. Adrenaline pumped through his veins and made the pain tolerable, just for now.
As soon as he saw Kairi in Xehanort’s hands, stabbed and killed, disappearing in a flash, Sora forgot every pain, every emptiness. His body ignored every warning his heart was giving out, and Sora ran into this battle with a burning anger.
And he made it. Sora did it, they all had made it. Still, Sora needed to save his dear friend. He received warnings from his friends.
‘Don’t use the power of waking too much.’
‘You won’t be able to return.’
‘Your heart won’t make it.’
His heart? Sora wondered if there was anything left that he could call his heart. The feeling of emptiness and the pain returned. He grabbed his chest. It felt like there was a hole and he could reach just through. It was confusing, was there really a hole? Right through his chest? Did his heart just got ripped out?
He searched for answers in the eyes of his friends, but they did not give him any clarity. Only that, seemingly, he was the only one seeing or feeling a hole in place of his heart where it’s not supposed to be.
With a sigh, he tried his best to ignore it. Kairi needed his help and he would not, despite any warnings, give up on her. It was as always, Sora cared more about the wellbeing of everyone dear to him. He had to do it, and so, he did.
---
Two months had gone by.
Kairi and Riku were on their way to the hospital. They already knew the way by heart, could walk to the correct room with closed eyes. Riku opened the door to room 207 as silently as he could.
It was stupid, somehow. He thought he had to be quiet as to not wake his friend. Sora looked as if he was just taking a nap. If only all these tubes and wires weren’t attached to his body. If only it would really just be a nap.
“Hey” Riku greeted the boy on the bed. “Hello, Sora..” Kairi said, sounding not just sad, but guilty in some way. They both sat down on a chair and pulled it closer to the edge of the bed.
The boy lying there looked like a mere imitation of Sora. He had lost weight, only being kept alive with a tube that force-fed him. There was a mask over his mouth that helped some oxygen in his lungs. The monitor on his left indicated his heart rate was steady, even though it was rather slow.
“How are you doing? Still dreaming?” Riku continued, trying his best to not break away in front of Kairi. He had to stay strong. He forced out a soft smile. “We miss you, Sora. Wake up soon.” he said in almost a whisper, gently caressing Sora’s cheek.
Kairi stared past his friend. She couldn’t look at his face. For her, it was clear as day - this was all her fault. If only she hadn’t been so weak, captured by Xehanort, if only she could have saved herself somehow. Fought him off. If only.. but it was too late.
She sobbed as silently as she could, but Riku noticed anyway. He knew Kairi was more than heartbroken. He knew she thought it was all her fault. “You know, Sora wouldn’t want you to cry. And he also wouldn’t want you to blame yourself.” Riku sighed.
“I know.” Kairi answered, wiping away the tears that were beginning to roll down her cheeks. “But I can’t help it. I can’t take it seeing him like this!” Kairi sobbed louder this time. Every day Sora looked worse. Every day that passed, the hope that Sora would wake up soon faded more and more.
“Do you think this is easy for me? I should have saved him. No, I should have stopped him before this. You think it’s easy for his mother? Her son was gone for so long, lost, and now he returned to her in this state. Not quite dead, not really alive either. This is hard for all of us, but we can’t give up on him, Kairi. He never gave up on any of us.”
It sounded harsh, more than Riku wanted it to sound like. But it was the truth. Kairi turned away. “I know.” she murmured. Riku bit on his lower lip. “Sorry…” He really didn’t mean to be so hard on her.
A long silence followed afterwards. There was no sound except for the beeping of Sora’s heart monitor and a quiet whirring. They both stared at their friend, then into nowhere in particular.
When Kairi had returned, Sora was washed up at the beach of Destiny Island. They had found him quickly. He was unconscious, barely breathing, and his heart rate was so low, they could hardly feel it.
It was weird. They all thought Sora might never return, but his body did. His mind though, was trapped in his comatose state. Ever since they found him on the beach, half dead, half alive, Sora had not moved an inch.
No signs of waking up, no signs of him even recognizing anything or anyone close to him or talking to him. In a way, Sora had not returned yet. No one wanted to accept that maybe, just maybe, Sora would not come back to them.
They stayed for a few hours, taking his hand in theirs, talking to him softly, stroking over his arms, gently caressing his cheeks. It was a daily procedure. They did what they could, what they thought might help him wake up.
When they left, Kairi couldn’t help a sorrowful expression. Riku finished saying goodbye to their friend for today and soon followed behind her. Sora’s condition did not just tear at everyone's hearts, it also pulled on Riku’s and Kairi’s friendship.
Kairi blamed herself, Riku blamed himself, both went on about it until one of them remembered them both that Sora would not have wanted that. Still, their minds went on, every day, every night, their minds were filled with guilt.
---
Ventus, Terra and Aqua visited Sora at least once a week. As soon as Ventus entered the room, his heart was burning. He didn’t understand the feeling, couldn’t process it or say it out loud.
It felt like he was yearning to be close to Sora. Inside him, he could feel a part of him wanted to jump out of his chest. Ventus couldn’t describe this instinct. It was strange, alien, like a part of him didn’t belong to him.
Roxas and Xion visited together with Lea as much as they could. They didn’t come by daily, for some reason, neither Roxas nor Xion could take that. Without knowing it, they felt the same strange sensation that Ventus felt. Both were drawn to Sora, a part of them wanted to rip out of their chests.
Roxas talked about that feeling with Xion, and when Xion confirmed to feel the same, they tried to explain it to Lea. While Lea had a bit of a hard time to understand what they meant, he believed his friends.
“You think he can feel that you’re there?” Lea asked, and the both looked over to Sora, then back to Lea. “We don’t know. He hasn’t been showing any reaction. Not to us or to anyone else.” Roxas sighed.
Xion bit down on her lip. It hurt her to see Sora so vulnerable, so silent, so...powerless. She didn’t even have the opportunity to talk to him properly. Roxas followed her melancholic gaze over to Sora.
Sora did everything he could to save him, to help him get his own body. His own life. But now, Roxas was living a life without Sora, and it felt kind of empty. Even with his friends, even with everyone else, it was empty without him.
---
It was a week later when Ventus called Roxas and they decided to meet up. Xion, Roxas and Ventus went up to the room they all knew by now. All three of them could feel the reaction to Sora’s presence.
“So you two feel it, too? Like a piece just wants to jump out of your chest...some weird, longing feeling?” Ventus asked a little breathless, and both Roxas and Xion nodded. “We do.” Xion confirmed.
Roxas softly combed through Sora’s hair with his fingers. He stared down at the boy. Sora’s cheeks stood out more than before, he looked bony and pale. Fragile, sick. “Are you calling for us, Sora?” he whispered into the boy’s ear.
Despite the yearning feeling they all had in their hearts, Sora offered no answer to them. They knew they had to talk to everyone, find clues, get help. It just seemed to be the right way. It had to be some kind of sign, some kind of connection to Sora’s current state.
---
A meeting was summoned just two days later. Everyone met at the Mysterious Tower, Yen Sid’s place. Yen Sid himself was not able to offer any explanation for Sora’s state as well. He thought that, maybe only his body had returned, and his heart was lost somewhere else.
It seemed logical back then, but now, with the new information of Ventus, Roxas and Xion, things took another turn. Kairi gasped loudly as soon as she heard about it. It was like some of the guilt that was laying upon her shoulders just fell off.
Riku didn’t know what to think about it. Should he feel relieved that, as it seemed, there could be a way to save Sora? Why was it then, that he felt so uglily jealous? Riku still thought that he should be the one to save Sora, but he wasn’t even involved.
Swallowing down the nasty feeling, he tried to keep his temper. ‘Stay calm’ he told himself. “So does that mean that you guys are the reason he is like that now? Or did freeing you weaken him back then?” Maybe Riku needed someone else to blame for. He blamed himself for almost 3 months now.
Roxas clenched his hands to fists. “Listen, we didn’t do anything! And even if that’s the case, it’s not like we could have done anything about it.” he remarked a little too loudly. Xion had to take his hand in hers, whispering some calming words to him.
None of them wanted to hurt Sora, but none of them wanted to admit that they were at fault, because they didn’t do anything wrong. They hadn’t even the chance to take influence on any of it.
“Now now, let’s calm down, shall we?” Yen Sid said in a non-appealable matter. “What might be the case, is that you who were freed from Sora’s heart, have all taken a part of his heart with you. And with all that still happened afterwards… it might all have been too much.”
“Then how can we give it back to him?” Xion asked with a quiet, worried hint in her voice.
Yen Sid sighed heavily. “We don’t know yet. Riku tried more than once to enter the realm of sleep and awaken Sora. But Sora’s heart is not sleeping, it just seems to be gone completely. Whatever was left of Sora’s heart might have been lost somewhere in the process of saving Kairi.”
Yen Sid thought that, the part of Sora’s heart that still kept him going and fighting back then was essential to be able to return the other missing pieces. But it could be anywhere or nowhere at all, maybe shattered forever, turned into fine dust.
Ventus gulped. “Also.. what about Vanitas?” he shyly intervened. Everyone suddenly stared at him like he stated that Xehanort was still alive. “I mean.. he was a part of me, but he looked like Sora. And as much as I remember, he said to Sora that they are connected, that he was something like his shadow.”
“Are you saying that Vanitas had a part of Sora’s heart, too? But he vanished. Shouldn’t it have returned back to Sora then?” Aqua asked, trying to keep a cool head in the somewhat hopeless discussion.
“I don’t know, Aqua. He vanished in that moment, but did he disappear for good? Do we really know? I can’t say for sure.” Ventus hung his head. If Vanitas was also involved, they didn’t just have to find the missing piece of Sora’s heart, they also had to find Vanitas and convince him to help them.
They kept discussing and planning every possible matter, every possible outcome. It had gotten so late, that they kept talking until the next day. Finally, they had some kind of a plan.
Ventus, Aqua and Terra would go out to look for Vanitas or any clues of his existence. Riku, Kairi, Roxas, Xion and Lea would travel the worlds to look for the lost piece of Sora’s heart that would be essential to reunite it with the pieces of the others.
King Mickey, Donald and Goofy, who were all just as devastated about Sora’s situation, tried to collect every incoming information, working with Ienzo to gather data and analyze it for any clues or signs.
In the meanwhile, the condition of Sora’s body, still in a comatose state, worsened with every passing day. Even though the doctors did everything they could to keep him alive, it was like his body started to reject any medical help. And so, unknowingly, his friends were put on a scarce time limit.
Sora was slowly dying, his body fading away like his shattered heart did.