Work Text:
I can’t tell you when it started...but when it ended...I think...I did too...
In the initial start, it was named a supplement. A gift to the lowest level and an expectation to the top tier solider. An outstanding reward. In time, rewards become dependency. And when left alone, dependency becomes all a person ever knows.
It was like reality snapped shut around her. Everything became too close. Too sudden. Too drastic. The world choked on itself with every desperate breath Catra tried to hang on to. There was no way to tell the day. In the darkness she didn’t notice the time.
Claws dug into pristine marble flooring, dragging mercilessly across its reflective surface. She could feel every beaded sweat droplet pouring off her body, but it didn’t help the shivering cold. Catra trembled under her own weight, unrelenting tremors rattling down to her bones.
The groan that screeched out of her throat was involuntary.
I-it burns....it....
“She’s in here.”
The feline lurched forward. Away from the voice. Away from the sound. Nimble feet padded along the smooth flooring, skirting toward the ledge of an overbearing window. To freedom. A way out. She didn’t make the choice to run. It was only an instinct.
Sure and strong hands caught her. Wrapping around her frame and spinning her toward the only person brave enough to face the battle. The watery crystal blue eyes that met hers filled Catra with a distaste she wasn’t ready for. Not that. Anything but that.
In a fit of desperation she reared claws to lash out against Adora. Painful strikes that the blonde took without a flinch. Without a sound. The warrior only pulled the fragile woman closer until fists beat against her. During the months leading up to this the feline had gotten so small. So frail. She cried out trying anything to free her grip from Adora. Her feet caught no traction. The growl ripping from her throat made no threat.
“It’s alright,” they nearly melted to the floor, “you’re alright.”
“You can-can’t...” Catra was sobbing, shaking. “You can’t do this to me. Let me go-let me...”
Her arms had tired out of fighting, but her spirit raged on. She couldn’t pull herself free from Adora and the closer the woman held her the more her heart broke. It shattered and was being swept away by the calm never ending flow of praise the blonde was force feeding her. The words were drowned out by Catra’s sobs. Her whole body wrecked with convulsions. “It’s okay....it’s going to be okay Catra.”
Adora’s voice trembled in a way that frightened both of the young women. Catra struggled to remember to breathe. She sucked hot harsh breathes through clenched teeth.
“This isn’t your fault. None of this was your fault.”
Catra tried to speak. To find any words at all. She groaned and her cries grew louder but no words formed at her lips. A burn was raging through her veins and it murdered any sense she tried to reclaim. The unrelenting pain is all she could remember. All she cared to remember.
But there was Adora. Sweet. Loyal. Annoying Adora. The fighting subsided and Catra buried her nose into the blonde’s collar. Every huffing intake she could smell the familiar scent of just Adora. Her ears flickered at droplets of tears that crashed into the sensitive fur. On instinct her tail coiled around the woman’s taunted bicep.
The night was silent. The air was crisp. But Adora was so warm. She was a better warmth than the fire that raged on in Catra’s mind. “I...can’t...I...”
“I know.” Adora’s voice was so soft. So sure. She may not have loosened her hold on the feline, but she cradled her. Pulling her gently into her lap thankful she had gotten this close at all. “I know you can’t.”
“A-Adora I-I...I can’t.”
Adora gently shook her head against Catra’s and repeated,”I know.”
With the utmost control she could manage the smaller woman held tightly to the crimson jacket. It balled up in her fists and the rough pattern gave her some sense of grounding. Enough to find reality. Enough to hold onto. “Do-don’t let me go.”
The purr had started low in her stomach. A reaction only. If given the choice Catra would have never began the sound. As it rumbled through her core in lulled her into a state of calm. For a moment they would keep in a state of calm. For the briefest moment...
“I promise.”