Chapter Text
Don't tell me if I'm dying
'Cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun
Maybe I should go
Don't wake me 'cause I'm dreaming
Of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know
Never leaves too soon.
Sam lay in the hospital bed. He was unconscious. Dean had brought him in after one too many psychotic breaks that he couldn't deal with himself. He felt bad leaving Sam here but the kid needed help. He was sitting in a chair beside the hospital bed flipping through an old magazine. Dean had taken him to a hospital and they had admitted Sam into the psychiatric ward, after having to sedate him for being so damn aggressive and refusing the help he desperately needed. It was the first time in weeks that the tall brunette had got any shut eye. Dean almost jumped when the door to the room was opened.
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t know anyone else was in here.” He said as he walked in and picked up Sam’s charts.
“It’s fine. They said I could stay for awhile. I don’t want to leave him.” Dean answered. He didn't know why he was telling this guy anything but he couldn't stop himself. He looked up at the guy. “You’re going to have to leave him at some point. Thats the point of this place.” The nurse answered. Dean nodded.
“It was just getting too hard. He was fine for so long, you know? I didn’t realize how bad it had gotten before it was too late.” Dean answered quietly.
“He’ll be in good hands here. They all are. It’s good you’ve stuck with him so long. Having people that care is one thing that really helps them work to get better.” The man said. Dean looked up confused. “You must really love him.” The nurse added.
“I… No!... I mean yes… I do.. But not like that. He’s my brother.” Dean stuttered. The man looked up surprised.
“Oh! I’m sorry… I thought…” He shook his head.
“It’s okay…” Dean said. “I’m Dean.”
“Castiel.” The man answered.
“Unngg...Dean…. Wha- Where am I?” Sam murmured. Dean raced to his side.
“I’ll give you a minute. The doctor will be in soon.”
“Sammy, you’re in the hospital.” Dean said.
“What?! What happened?!? Was it a demon? What did they do?” Sam asked frantically. Dean sighed.
“No Sam…. None of that is real. You’re in a hospital for people like you. Who need help. Your body is fine.” Dean said quietly.
Looks like your brother doesn't want you no more Sammy-boy.
Sam became incredibly agitated. He sat up and began looking around. He was screaming and yelling bloody murder. He started pulling the monitors off his body and was about to rip out his IV when Dean hit the emergency call button on the wall. Three nurses ran into the room and saw what was happening. A large black man held Sam down as Castel began putting restraints on him. A small woman put a new IV in his arm and then gave him a shot of something. Once he was restrained the nurses stepped back.
A minute later a doctor walked into the room and picked up Sam's charts.
"I'm Dr. Mills. I think it would be best for your brother if you left. He is obviously very agitated about being here and it would benefit him best if he could have a fresh start without the connections to his delusion." She said looking at Dean. Dean stood and nodded sadly. "We will call you when he is healthy enough for visitors." She said before smiling softly and walking out of the room.
Sam woke up to the beeping of a heart monitor. He groaned, his head was groggy and he wasn't sure where he was. He looked around and found himself in a white hospital room. He groaned and looked around. There was a small vase of flowers on the night table beside him. He tried to lift his arms but couldn't. He looked down and found them strapped to the bed as well as his legs. He struggled for a few minutes and gave up just as a average height, brunette with striking blue eyes walked into the room. He was wearing scrubs. Sam stared at him. There was nothing else he could do.
Look at that. Sammy-boy’s all tied up and defenseless. What if this one’s a demon you’re so desperate to kill?
Sam looked to the corner of the room and glared at the man he saw there. He hated him and everything he said and made Sam do. The nurse walked closer to Sam and looked at him cautiously.
“Are you going to struggle and fight me?” He asked sincerely. Sam just shook his head. The nurse nodded and began undoing the restraints on Sam. “I’m Castiel.” He said as he finished undoing the restraints. Sam rubbed his wrists and sat up slowly.
“Why am I here? What happened to my brother?” He asked almost frantically.
“Don’t worry Sam. Your brother is fine. The doctor will see you once you’ve had breakfast. I will show you.” Castiel said and stepped towards the door. Sam stood up slowly. He followed the nurse into the hall and slowly shuffled down the hallway, as he was still groggy from the drugs they had put in him.
Sam followed the nurse down a hallway. There were other people walking and standing in the hallway. Some were talking to themselves and others were just walking around like they could be the most normal person on the planet. Sam didn’t know where to look or what to do with himself so he looked down at his shoes and followed Castiel, until they made their way to a room where people were sitting and eating food. Sam looked around and saw that they were in a cafeteria.
‘You may line up and get something for breakfast.” Castiel said before turning and walking away. Sam looked around and hesitantly entered the line. He was given some food and sat down at an empty table. He looked down at the table and tried to avoid everyone around him. As he sat there he looked up suddenly.
Hey there Sammy boy. How’s that hospital food?
Sam sighed and looked away from him. He groaned to himself. ‘Why did this have to happen to me? Why does he NEED me to do this? I’m nobody.’ Sam thought to himself. He looked up again to the sound of a lollipop being sucked on. He rolled his eyes and continued eating his breakfast. Once he had finished his breakfast Castiel walked over to him again.
“The doctor would like to see you now. Follow me.” He said. Sam stood and followed him down a hallway. As he walked he looked down at he floor. Suddenly he crashed into someone. He looked at the girl who was crouched on the floor. She had red hair and was cringing. Sam knelt down and looked at the girl.
“Anna?” He asked quietly. The girl looked up teary eyed.
“S- Sam?...” She hesitated.
Sam took her arms gently and helped stand her up. She looked shaken and tired. Sam looked at her. They had been friends in high school, but she always had issues. By the end of highschool she had gone really far down hill and then pretty much fell off the face of the earth after they graduated. Sam had no idea she had ended up here. He didn’t know she had issues like this. Sam looked at her and smiled shyly.
“Wh- What are you doing here?” She asked him. He looked down at his shoes for a minute.
“My- My brother brought me in…” He said. Castiel cleared his throat.
“Sam the doctor is waiting.” He said. Anna looked at him and then stepped back.
“You have to go. I’ll- I’ll see you later.” She said. He nodded and followed Castiel further down the hallway. The arrived at a door that had a plaque on it. It read ‘Dr. Jody Mills’.
“She’s waiting for you.” Castiel said.
Oooh, time to see the doc Sammy.
Sam opened the door and walked in to find an average looking woman with short hair. She was wearing a button up shirt and a pair of jeans. She smiled at Sam as he walked in the door.
“You must be Sam. I’m Dr. Mills, I will be your doctor for your stay here.” She said. Sam sat down and tried not to look behind her in the corner of the room.
“How has your day been so far Sam?” She asked.
Yeah Sammy-boy, how has your day been? You been having a good time in the looney bin?
“Uh… fine…” He said trying to ignore the voice.
“Good. So, your brother brought you in, is that correct?” She asked.
Of course big bro Deano would want the best for baby bro.
“Yes, that’s right.” Sam said.
“How is your relationship with your brother?” The doctor asked.
Ooh, this is a good one. Tell her about all the fights. Or all your breaks that your brother keeps guilting you with.
“Well…” Sam cleared his throat. “I mean, we’re brothers, we have our differences but we take care of each other.” He said. The doctor nodded and wrote some things down. Sam shifted in his seat, feeling awkward. He looked behind the doctor and almost scoffed. The guy was sucking a fucking lollipop. Seriously.
“How about the rest of your family? Your parents?” She asked. Sam immediately stiffened.
Yes! Hit the nerve! Go on! Tell her the sob story. Let’s have it!
“They… Uhh… Neither of them are around.” He hesitated.
“So, you don’t see them often?” She pressed.
“They’re dead.” Sam said blatantly. The doctor looked up at him.
“I’m sorry. How did it happen?”
“My mom died in a house fire when I was six months old. My dad drank himself to death and decided to drive.” Sam said looking down at his hands. He looked up and saw the doctor writing things down.
“What do you do Sam? Do you work, go to school? What do you do with your life?” She asked him.
“Well, I was trying to get into Law School, but as I got closer and closer to making that decision I found I didn’t really want to go. So I started working at a small bookshop in town until I figured out what I wanted to do.” Sam said. The doctor nodded and wrote some more stuff down.
“What about relationships? Do you have a girlfriend? Boyfriend?”
“I…” Sam looked up and almost choked.
Come on Sammy, tell her. Tell her all about the girl that died. Tell her about Jess.
“I did.. have a girlfriend… I… I wanted to propose to her…” He stammered.
“And what happened?”
“She… She died… In a car accident.” He said quietly.
“I’m sorry to hear that. How does that make you feel?” She asked.
“What? How does it make me feel that the love of my life is dead? Obviously pretty shitty.” He said angrily.
“How do you feel that you have lost so many people close to you?” She asked again.
Tell her Sammy. Tell her how you feel. Go cry to her. Come on. Teeeellll her!!
“It sucks okay!! It’s so shitty! I feel like I’m cursed and everyone I love just dies! I can’t do anything right. I just get everyone killed. I never knew my mother and dad was a drunk and basically killed himself ‘cause he couldn't deal with his kids and the one girl who I thought I could be with forever is gone. How do you think I would feel!” Sam screamed, standing up.
He wasn’t looking at the doctor anymore. He was looking behind her. He was looking at the corner.
“Who are you looking at Sam?” She asked. Sam suddenly realized what he had done.
“I…. No… I…. Uhh….” He stammered.
“It’s okay Sam. You can tell me.” She said soothingly.
“I…. It’s…”
Don’t tell her Sam. She can’t know. She wont believe you. She will just think you’re crazy. Listen to me. You can’t tell anyone.
“L...Lucifer.” He said looking away from the doctor.