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English
Series:
Part 1 of Reflectfics...
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Published:
2019-06-27
Words:
404
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1/1
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Reflections (only show our masks)

Summary:

As Jedi Night closes, Kanan reflects on his life of hiding, and what forced him to become open.

Work Text:

Ever since Kanan was fourteen, his entire identity has been a mask to hide who he truly was. He couldn’t be known as a Jedi, or even force-sensitive. That would be a death sentence. She he hid himself from his past. Then he met Hera.

 

He kept up his mask with Hera. He stayed as Kanan Jarrus, gunslinger with nothing special. Hera and the rest of the crew might have known about him being a Jedi, but it was buried beneath himself. And then came Ezra.

 

Ezra caused Kanan to rethink his masks. Here was a young boy who needed him to be more than a reckless fighter for Hera. Kanan did what he always did. He changed his mask, reconnecting to his past as a Jedi, but still hiding everything from everyone. Kanan never fully reconnected himself with the order. He trained Ezra, but still never considered himself a Jedi. And then came his knighting and Malachor.

 

Knighting made Kanan lose his mask. He knew, briefly, who he was. Then Malachor came and Kanan received a different mask. A physical one. Kanan hid his injury, and hid from Ezra. He had failed. Kanan hadn’t been the Jedi he could’ve been. Then came Bendu.

 

Bendu reconnected Kanan with his identity as a Jedi. Kanan kept his mask on, but started to change and grow. He became powerful in the force. Through losing his eyesight and donning a mask, Kanan emerged more powerful than ever. And came the Loth-Wolves.

 

Doom. Dume. That’s all Kanan could hear. Kanan knew what the wolves meant. Kanan removed his masks. He removed his physical mask, hiding his gaze. He removed his beard, and no longer hid his youth and face. He removed his hair, the first of his physical masks, the one that hid the tell that could identify him as Caleb Dume, the Jedi Padawan. Then Kanan met Dume.

 

Caleb Dume was Kanan Jarrus. His hair was short, he was young, he was a Jedi. The Jedi that never was. Kanan was a mask put up to hide Caleb from the hated galaxy. But Kanan learned from the wolves, doom. Caleb’s Doom. Kanan’s Dume. So Kanan destroyed his masks for good. He became again Caleb Dume, and, in the last of the moments, when his visions was restored for the final sight, Caleb could see Hera, his child, Ezra, Sabine, Zeb, Master Billaba, and Janus Kasmir. His family.

 

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