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When Tony told Ty about the ad, Ty threw a fit.
(“You don’t need to put advertisement out looking for a fake boyfriend. I’m right here and that’s pretty disrespectful to me. Those so-called fans on Instagram aren’t entitled to your private life anyway. You’d be better off sticking with your little robots. You could get into a weapons business doing that, I’m telling you. Instead, you’re out here running around online for no reason and just donating your robotics instead of making a profit.” Tony mostly learned to tune him out by now, when he got like that. Especially going on about getting into any weapons business. Tony told him a bunch of times that he didn’t want to follow in his father’s shoes and he had more than enough money anyway.)
Honestly he should’ve seen it coming, but it was the only real solution he had to his problem, the problem Ty kept making bigger. Tony had followers invested in his personal life, and profiles with cute couple photos always got more likes and followers. Not that Tony was obsessed with that, but he did enjoy getting the promotions and deals with companies. And ever since that photo was leaked of Tony and Ty together out to eat, his followers had been begging for pictures of him and his boyfriend in the comments on all his recent posts.
But Ty hated taking pictures. He didn’t like Tony’s whole social media thing in general and always made sure Tony knew it. He doesn’t mind the free stuff he gets through me, though, Tony thought bitterly.
So Tony put out an ad looking for someone “Blonde, Buff, and Beautiful” who would accept $200 per photo session as a starting rate, with Tony paying travel expenses. It was a good deal, so Tony expected a few hundred responses.
He got 5,000 responses.
“I bet half these guys dyed their hair blonde just for this application,” Tony shook his head, clicking out of another applicant profile that wasn’t to taste.
“What’s so wrong with that?” Rhodey asked around a mouthful of cereal. He swiped at a little milk falling down his chin in his half asleep state. “Blonde is blonde.”
Tony sighed, looking up at Rhodey across the table with an annoyed expression that Rhodey had to stifle a laugh at. “Tiberius Stone has naturally blonde locks. It’s noticeable when people are artificial blondes, you know.”
“Let me look at that,” Rhodey said, scraping his chair around the table until he was next to Tony looking at the tablet with him. “All of these guys are way hotter than Tiberius anyway. The hair doesn’t even matter. Besides the picture was blurry, so you might as well just fine some actually hot blonde guy to fake a relationship with.”
Tony shoved at Rhodey’s arm, “You’re just saying that because you don’t like Ty.”
“Well yeah, because he’s not good for or to you,” Rhodey scowled down at his bowl of cereal, stirring it menacingly. He’d been working at trying to get Tony to leave Ty for awhile, but he refused to listen. He even started enlisting Pepper’s help, but Tony is stubborn.
“Don’t start,” Tony sighed, opening a new application. “Look at this guy. Really wholesome looking, that could work. And his muscles... Rhodey tell me you wouldn’t fuck him.”
“I wouldn’t fuck him.”
“You’re no fun,” Tony rolled his eyes. “Seriously though, this guy looks perfect. Also, he sounds like he has a personality at least. Oh! Look he has Nat listed as a reference too. I’m going to send him a reply.”
“Mmm promising. Steve?” Rhodey said, peering over Tony’s shoulder at the screen as he got up and padded over to the sink to put his bowl in the dishwasher. “A good, plain name. Maybe that’s what you need. And at least he’s photogenic, makes my job easier.”
Tony snorted, looking back over his shoulder as Rhodey stretched, pulling his arms back over his head, dislodging his shirt from his Star Trek pajama pants.
“Anyway, I’m going to get dressed and then head over to Carol’s. We’re going out with Jess and some of their friends tonight so I probably won’t be back until late. Be good. Call Pepper back too.”
“Don’t worry about me, sour patch. I’ll be fine. Have fun, be safe,” Tony said at Rhodey’s retreating back, waving his hand in a dismissive gesture. He turned back to his tablet, swiping away another email notification from Pepper (he would reply eventually) and preparing his message.
Steve,
I‘m in the process of looking through all the applicants for my whole fake boyfriend setup, and yours definitely caught my eye. An art student? That’s nice and good for photography… maybe. I’d have to ask Rhodey (that’s my best friend/partner-in-crime/photographer).
Anyway, I’m interested in setting up a face-to-face (or facetime, but we’re both in the city) meeting to get to know you better and see if we’re a good fit (if we look together in photos, really). I’m actually free for the new couple weeks, so my schedule is very flexible.
You listed Natasha Romanoff as a reference, so we already have a connection there! Shoot me an email back or text me at the number below.
Tony
ig: TonyStark
twitter: @tStark_