Chapter Text
-Friday, May 31, 2019-
Objectively, the Archangels Residential Facility was quite nice...
... although it really couldn't be called a facility at all. In truth, it was a massive mansion set atop a sloping hill, surrounded by a winding fence that enclosed the property. The road to the place was gravel, with little rocks crunching beneath the wheels of the car. Bushy trees sprouted from every available patch of ground and framed the road. Sunlight filtered through the rustling green leaves and scattered into dozens of flickering sunspots over the road, creating a soft golden glow wherever it struck the undergrowth.
Up ahead, a towering gate of thick, dark iron bars loomed, contrasting sharply with the warm scenery. Beyond the gate was the facility.
Aziraphale sank lower in his seat.
"Isn't it beautiful?" the woman in the front seat asked. She was Aziraphale's mother, but they might as well have been opposite species. She had straight brown hair that fell to her shoulders, with tanned skin and slightly defensive demeanor. Her eyes were a gentle hazel color, but her expression often retracted from the warmth.
On the other hand, Aziraphale had blonde, nearly white hair with a few stray curls. He looked like he never got any sun, and every inch of him radiated friendliness. His eyes were a pale blue, comparable to ice.
"Yes," he replied quietly.
When he didn't say anything more, Ms. Fell glanced back at him, tightening her grip on the steering wheel. "This will be good for you, Zira. It's so open and... outdoorsy."
Back home—where he'd much rather be—was anything but outdoorsy. The interior was bleak and empty, severely minimalistic, and quite lacking in the coziness of most other homes. Large windows gave him opportunities to look outside, but the lawn was properly trimmed and there were no trees. Ms. Fell harbored a great dislike for clutter and regularly rebuked him for it.
He didn't remark on that. Instead, he said, "my name is Aziraphale."
Her jaw tightening, Ms. Fell flipped down the visor and accelerated the car.
The gate somehow grew even taller when they got closer. It was probably over fifteen feet, which seemed a bit excessive to Aziraphale, but he was determined to not comment on anything that might prompt a lecture from his mother.
"Stay here," Ms. Fell said. She opened the car door and stepped out, scowling a bit at the gravel. She walked up to the gate and inspected the sign that was hanging from the bars. After a second, she pushed the gate a bit, and it swung open easily. She climbed back in the car. "It said 'push the left gate'. They don't seem to worry too much about security."
"Isn't that worrisome," Aziraphale said flatly.
They drove in between the open gates and onto the property.
Great swaths of healthy, green grass coated the land, accompanied with large trees that offered shade. Winding trails of roots and earth led from the gate to the facility, and split into several different paths that vanished into the distance. Big bushes of roses framed the facility's base. It was most likely three stories or more.
As they slowly drove, Aziraphale noticed the abundance of wildlife. Birds squawked and fluttered away in startled flocks, while little squirrels and mice scampered along the ground. He was even sure that he'd seen a snake.
Finally, the dreaded moment of arrival was upon him. He stepped out of the car and closed the door. Ms. Fell clasped a hand around his arm, like she feared he would make a break for it. Sighing, he followed her to the door.
Before they could knock, the door swung open.
Standing there was another teenager in all black. Black shirt, black jeans with holes in them, and black running shoes. He had firey red hair that sat atop his head in a tousled mess, and a pair of sleek black shades covered his eyes. He leaned on the doorway in a way that suggested he didn't know how to stand properly, with one leg straight and the other splayed out lazily to the side.
"Hello," Ms. Fell greeted. "Are you Mica?"
The guy regarded them with faint amusement. "No, but I can take you to her. I'm Crowley." He shook her hand, then turned to Aziraphale. "And you are?
"Zira Fell," she interjected before Aziraphale could speak. "I'm Ms. Fell."
"Well, it's a pleasure. Shall we find Mica?"
Crowley closed the door behind him and led them outside, onto a dirt trail that looped around to the back of the house. Behind it, there was a courtyard-type area where a fountain was placed, along with several picnic tables. The property was so large that the fence wasn't visible.
"Scenic, huh?" Crowley remarked. "Yeah, it gets boring real fast."
"So, uh, are you a resident here?" Ms. Fell asked. In her attempt to not be offensive, she ended up sounding like even more of a jerk. Aziraphale sighed heavily.
"Yup. Three years and counting."
"Oh. What's it like here?"
"Mm, like I said, boring." Crowley turned a corner, forcing them to follow. There didn't seem to be anyone in sight, which made Aziraphale wonder exactly where he was taking them, but Aziraphale said nothing. No use in offending someone on his first day. "If you like psychotic roommates, this is the place for you."
"Ah." Ms. Fell gripped Aziraphale tighter.
Aziraphale tried to wiggle out of her grip and failed. "Mother."
"I'm happy to see another teenager here, it means Zira will have a chance to make new friends," Ms. Fell said, ignoring Aziraphale's pathetic plea for freedom.
Crowley, thankfully, didn't acknowledge Ms. Fell. He took a sharp left and started walking back towards the facility.
"Um, I'm sorry, but do you know where you're going?" Ms. Fell questioned.
"Of course I do," Crowley huffed.
"But, uh, we've gone in a circle."
Crowley paused. They had arrived back at the house. "Have we?" He turned around slowly, as if surveying the surroundings, before pushing his sunglasses even farther up and saying, "how peculiar."
Ms. Fell drew herself up and exhaled sharply. "Stop leading us on. Did you ever intend on taking us to Mica?"
"At some point, yeah." The corner of Crowley's lips quirked into a slight grin. "I wanted to see how long I could get you to wander around aimlessly."
Aziraphale liked him immediately.
"Take us to Mica right this moment," Ms. Fell ordered, as if deciding he was a delinquent teen and should no longer be addressed respectfully. Crowley seemed to sense the change in demeanor and frowned.
"I would if I knew where she was," Crowley replied coolly. "As it so happens, I'm not at your beck-and-call. Have fun searching."
Before she could protest, Crowley spun on his heel and walked away in a strange manner that could only be called a saunter; throwing out one leg and sort of dragging up the other one, resulting in a tilted, swaying strut. Aziraphale watched as Crowley tossed open a back door and vanished inside the facility.
"I never," Ms. Fell muttered indignantly, tugging Aziraphale along the path. They walked to the front entrance once more, where an older woman was just walking out.
She was a stern, prim lady, dressed in an impeccable suit and her hands crossed elegantly across her middle. She smiled upon their approach. "Ms. Fell, I assume? I'm Mica. Terribly sorry about Anthony, he likes to mess with the new residents." She shook Ms. Fell's hand and then Aziraphale's. "This must be Zira."
"Aziraphale," he corrected. "Common mistake, shortening the beginning."
"It's Zira," Ms. Fell countered sharply.
Mica glanced between them for a moment. "Okay, Aziraphale, if you could step inside while your mother and I figure everything out? Uriel should be waiting. She'll direct you."
Uriel? Oh, this was good. Finally, someone to help Aziraphale. None of these humans understood the severity of his mission, but an archangel definitely would.
Smiling obligatorily, he bowed his head in acknowledgement and hurried up the stairs, onto the patio, and inside the house.
The interior was, quite possibly, more extravagant than the exterior.
However, first we must lay out the scene.
Immediately upon entry to the mansion, there were a few notable aspects. The walls were a gentle yellow. The ceiling was tall and directly ahead was a curving staircase that led to a door. The stairs were covered in beige carpet, but the floor itself was polished wood.
To the left, there was a large, brightly lit room with sleek white carpet and a piano in the corner. Lanterns hung from niches in the walls. To the right, there was an office room of sorts with dark red walls and a wide window that allowed in the sunlight. It was furnished and cozily decorated.
A little bit past the office room was a hallway that consisted of one bathroom, one laundry room, and one storage closet on the right hand side. On the left side, there was a door that led to a large, open room with several tall windows lining one wall. The room was filled with plush furniture and comfortable couches that faced a fireplace. The windows bulged outward slightly in one place, allowing a small table and two chairs to be placed in the nook.
If you looked to the left from there, you would find the kitchen, with wooden floorboards and neatly polished cabinets. Even farther left, and you'd see the dining room, which connected to the piano room from earlier. All the way to the right, beyond the couches, was another office room.
Now that we've mapped out the first floor, we'll head upwards.
Back in the entry room, there was a curved staircase that stretched to the second floor. The first door on the left was a bedroom. It was starkly furnished, with grey walls and perfectly folded sheets. The patterned window curtains were drawn closed.
The closest bedroom after that was on the right, and the door was shut and locked. The room felt smaller to any occupants, but only because it had more personal belongings and messes. Parchment paper and quills were scattered over the desk. A few dusty books sat on the shelves, untouched.
Down the hall was a more open space, and it held two doors on the left side and one opening to the right, with another staircase directly ahead. This staircase led up to the third floor.
The first door to the left was another bedroom. The floor was white carpet, the walls were a faint grey, and the bed was covered in white sheets. The blankets and pillows were strewn about carelessly. The blinds were open and the curtains were pulled to the side. Lining one wall was a trough-like structure filled with leafy plants, spilling over their pots and climbing up the wall in flowery vines. A green plant mister sat next to them. On the desk, a tank held a small black snake with slitted yellow eyes.
The second door to the left was unoccupied (though it must be noted: this had a door which connected it to the room nearby).
To the right was a set of double doors, and inside was an open room that was shared by Mica and Uriel. The walls were a dark maroon, and all of the furniture was black.
Up the stairs was the third floor, where you would find only three rooms and a storage closet.
The first room was filled with maps and tape. Detailed diagrams were pinned to the walls, and scrawled handwriting could be found on every stray slip of paper. A large map of the United States of America was plastered over the windows. Big red pen marks were scribbled all over it.
Farther down the hall, two doors were placed parallel to each other. Both rooms were nearly identical in decorating style, as the two occupants spent most of their time with the other. Each room had a desk in the corner, both with a glass tank and two different creatures inside. One room had a frog; the other had a lizard. No one was quite sure what species either of the creatures were, and no one dared to ask.
The storage closet held a few extra blankets and a first-aid kit.
At the very top of the house was the attic, which was mostly dusty and empty.
Of course, from Aziraphale's limited vantage point, he could only see the piano room, a snippet of the office, and a winding staircase. He stood there awkwardly for a moment, gaping at the extravagant decor. He marveled over the golden rails and portraits hanging from the walls, momentarily forgetting about finding Uriel.
"Can I help you?" a woman asked. She stood in the doorway of the office, dressed in a white sweater and grey leggings. Her voice held a slight English lilt. Smiling, she walked over to him. "Zira, right? Mica said we were expecting a new resident."
"It's Aziraphale, actually," he said. He drew himself up to his full height, lacing his hands in a dignified manner. "Aziraphale, Guardian of the East Gate of Eden and angel of the Lord."
Uriel stared at him for a moment, frowning a bit, but recovered quickly. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Uriel."
"Thank goodness. I'm so relieved to have found an archangel. Perhaps you can assist me with my predicament."
"Predicament?"
"Yes. The oncoming Apocalypse."
Uriel's expression softened. "I'm sorry, but I'm not who you think I am. My family was extremely evangelical, and all of my siblings were named after angels."
"Oh." Aziraphale sighed, his shoulders slumping.
After a small pause, Uriel touched his arm and smiled gently. "Would you like a tour? The house is very old, and the design is something spectacular."
Uriel showed him the first floor and the second floor, stopping by the empty room that would be his. It was all rather too large for Aziraphale's taste, but he settled with the idea that he could decorate his room however he wanted. By the time the tour was over, Ms. Fell and Mica were finished, and they were waiting downstairs.
"Go get your things from the car," Ms. Fell told Aziraphale.
Without argument, Aziraphale hurried to the car and dragged his suitcases out. The many bags proved very difficult to haul over gravel, but he struggled his way to the front door anyway, huffing and grunting the whole way there. He dropped his suitcases and clutched the bag over his shoulder as Ms. Fell pressed a light kiss to his forehead.
"You'll be better in no time," she assured him, squeezing his shoulder. "Behave. And no more of this silly 'Aziraphale' nonsense." She straightened and shook hands with Mica and Uriel once more. "Contact me if any problems come up."
"We can handle this," Uriel told her.
"Yes," Mica agreed. "Have a nice flight back to Britain."
The doors clicked shut. Aziraphale breathed out.
"Let's get you settled, huh?" Uriel suggested, picking up one of his bags to help him. As Aziraphale followed her up the stairs, he saw the teenager from before, Crowley, peeking around the corner of the piano room. Crowley lowered his glasses, winked, and vanished around the corner.
Oh, dear. This was all shaping up to be a right disaster.