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Aziraphale knew that he would be reprimanded for having help prevent the end of the world but oh Heaven he didn't expect this.
He and Crowley had stuck close by each other's side for three months after the failed doomsday to protect each other from their people. No attacks came upon them from either side and while Crowley was more than anxious to leave him alone, Aziraphale had insisted that he would be fine for a day or two on his own.
He had never been so wrong.
***
It was a Sunday morning and Aziraphale was sorting through the books of his shop. When Crowley had been around him at all times he never really had the interest to sort through his books, but now he did. Adam had restored his library to how it was before the fire, but with the rather odd twist of there being many new additions of children's stories.
Aziraphale picked up one of the new children's books, "Blood Dogs of the Skull Sea," He muttered the title quietly. A smile pulled at his lips, "Now that's an odd title."
There was a sudden hand on Aziraphale's shoulder. He dropped the book in surprise with a yelp and quickly spun around. "G-Gabriel!" He gasped upon seeing the archangel.
Gabriel had on a grim grin along with his fine suit, "Aziraphale, great to see you. It took forever for us to get you alone. How's your friend Crowley?"
"What do you want, Gabriel?" Aziraphale asked, trying not to sound as scared as he was. He swallowed a lump in his throat. His hands shook at his sides and he made them into fists.
"Oh it's not what I want, it's what She wants." Gabriel's eyes went to the ceiling for a split second and Aziraphale's did the same. "You're wanted upstairs, and you can't run away. Or you could and we could just send Michael after you, but we both know that she isn't the most gentle, now don't we?"
"I-" Aziraphale had nothing to say. His mind was blank and swimming in thoughts all at the same time. His thoughts were a page that someone had written on over and over and over until there was no more room and the words overlapped each other so much that they were illegible. " She wants me?"
"That's what the Metatron says." Gabriel nodded.
Aziraphale knew he couldn't refuse going with Gabriel if She had commanded it, he just couldn't. He was an angel after all and no matter what may happen, he had to follow Her. He certainly couldn't disobey a direct order either. With a sigh, he nodded. "Fine.. Let's go."
In a quick moment the bookshop was empty. The book was still on the floor.
The next moment everything was dark. Aziraphale could no longer feel Gabriel's hand on his shoulder, but he knew he must be in Heaven. He didn't know how he knew that for wherever he was didn't feel at all Holy, he just knew.
There was a burst of bright light that lit up a single place in the dark. Aziraphale looked around and saw that he was in an infinitely black space. The light was the only thing besides the darkness, it pulsated and was blindingly white in the dark.
" Aziraphale," The light spoke.
And Aziraphale felt his body shake and tears come to his eyes. The light was God. He had only ever spoken directly to Her once before when She asked about his flaming sword.
"Y-Yes, Lord?" Aziraphale asked shakily. He didn't know where in Heaven he was and he felt horribly frightened now that he was in Her presence. He wiped at the tears that fell from his eyes but they wouldn't stop.
" You've disappointed me. It's not for the reason you think it is either. You're not here because the end of the world was not carried out, you are here for converging with those who you should oppose. You're here for your relationship with the demon Crowley."
Aziraphale felt sick, "My.. My relationship?" He felt hot and cold at the same time. If his body wasn't already quaking from being in Her presence he knew that he would've been shaking just from sheer fear. "But, Lord! I've always tried to put a stop to his evil deeds, I've-"
" Aziraphale, do not lie to me when you know I've been watching from the beginning. I'm always watching. " Even though there was only darkness, the whole space shook. " I've seen how you've helped him, done things for him that you knew were wrong. But yet you still did them. Why?"
Aziraphale was breathing heavily now, he looked down at his hands and they were shaking. "Because.. Because he's my friend!" He looked up at Her even though Her brightness burned his eyes and did nothing but cause more tears.
"Your friend?"
"Yes." Aziraphale felt his back start burn, he had the urge to try and look back at it but he didn't. He kept his gaze on Her even as the pain intensified.
" You're more like your friend than you've ever been, Aziraphale. You're fallen ."
And then the burning quickly spread from Aziraphale's back to his whole body, and when it spread it's pain grew to levels that he never knew possible. He felt like he was on fire with flames directly from hell. He fell to his knees with a cry and his glorious white wings sprung trembling from his back. They slowly bled black, forever stained and no longer clean.
Aziraphale knew he was screaming but he couldn't hear anything, all of his senses were overwhelmed with agony. His mind didn't even register when Her light disappeared and he was left in the darkness alone. All he knew was pain, and he was nothing- no one outside of that pain. Because in darkness you are nothing more than what you feel. He had lived as an angel for over six thousand years but none of those years felt as long and torturous as however long he was in the darkness with his skin on fire.
There came a point when Aziraphale couldn't even scream anymore, his voice left his body in choked gasps and sobs. He wrapped his wings around himself and cried. But he wasn't crying for just the pain, he was crying for having fallen.
The pain at some point began to dwindle down, but it never left. Aziraphale opened his eyes and saw a new light through the dark feathers of his wings. Gingerly he spread them, more fire shooting under his skin as he did so, and he saw with blurry eyes that he was back in his bookshop. It all looked the same, not a single minute had passed. His forever of pain was not even a second in the world.
Aziraphale's breaths were ragged and forced, he felt new tears coming on again but he pushed them down. "No," He croaked as he closed his eyes tightly. " Crowley.. " He muttered. He opened his eyes and painstakingly stood up. He was frightened beyond anything and still in so much pain, if anyone would know what to do it would be Crowley. Not to mention that he was all Aziraphale had.
He wobbled a bit at first, but after he managed not to fall Aziraphale slowly limped to his back office. With every step he took he winced and moaned in pain. He was panting and in a cold sweat by the time he reached his office. He grabbed the rotary phone from his desk. He took the receiver and with a shaking hand dialed Crowley's phone number.
It only had to ring once before he answered.
"Yeah?" Crowley asked on the other end, his voice sounding forcibly calm. "You alright, angel?"
"Cr-Crowley!" Aziraphale gasped into the mouthpiece. He was clutching the receiver with both hands. "I need you here something's ha-happened, I.. I-" But he didn't get another word out before there was a startlingly loud 'pop'. Aziraphale dropped the phone and turned around so fast that he felt dizzy. The receiver swung on it's cord besides him.
"Aziraphale-" Crowley was staring at him with his mouth agape and his cell phone still next to his ear. The phone fell out of his hand and the screen shattered when it hit the floor. "What, what happened to you?" And he was by Aziraphale in an instant, one of his hands touching his black wings and the other at his waist.
Aziraphale burst into tears again and flung himself into Crowley. He wrapped his arms around him and squeezed him as tight as he could. He squeezed him because of the pain and because of how much he missed him. "I-I've fallen!" He said between sobs.
Crowley held Aziraphale gently, there was a grim expression on his face. There was another 'pop' as he transported them to the newly-fallen angel's bedroom. He as carefully as he could sat Aziraphale down on his bed and let him sob. "Those bastards, I knew I shouldn't of left you alone."
And even though his mind and body hurt more than anything Aziraphale shook his head and took a large shaky breath. "Don't- Don't blame yourself for this, Crowley.." He never let go of him. "They could've done things far worse to me."
Crowly bit his lip and threw his glasses to the floor. He opened his mouth to say something and sighed. "You shouldn't burn for long," He muttered, scooting as close to Aziraphale as he could. His own dark wings broke through his jacket and wrapped around Aziraphale.
Now that he was still and with Crowley the pain was fading from Aziraphale's body again. His face was still wet with tears and he didn't have the strength to dry it. "I.. I never realized how much it hurt."
Crowley nodded stiffly. "It's worse than hell."
A look of fear crossed Aziraphale's face, "I won't have to- Oh they won't make me go there, will they?"
"I don't think anyone downstairs will want much to do with you. And even if they did, I wouldn't let them so much as look at you, angel."
Aziraphale tried to smile but Crowley's old pet name made him feel sick. He looked away from him. "Thank you, but I don't think I'm fit to be called that anymore."
Crowley frowned, he cupped Aziraphale's face with both hands. "Bullshit, you're a fucking saint and you're better than all of those all high and mighty fucking feather bags up there! You're my angel, Aziraphale, and no God is ever going to change that."
"Oh- oh, Crowley!" Aziraphale whispered. Then without a thought of anything he quickly kissed him. Against the kiss he felt Crowley stiffen but before he could pull away the demon's hands moved to Aziraphale's waist and he was pulled closer into the kiss.
And before he knew it the kiss was over and they were separated by only a few inches. Their arms were wrapped tightly around each other and Aziraphale realized that he no longer felt the pain of his fall.
They had never kissed before and neither of them really knew what to say about it so they didn't say anything about it.
"I'll help you with this," Crowley said slowly. "With your falling, I won't let anything more happen to you."
"I'm beyond grateful for you," Aziraphale whispered. He pressed his forehead against Crowley's and closed his eyes for a short moment. He thought of how the reason he had fallen was because he had befriended Crowley. He opened his eyes and studied him carefully. Over the years they had known each other Crowley had done so much for him, and he was doing so much for him even right now… Without a doubt.. Falling was worth it if it meant he got to be with Crowley. And he kissed him again.