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Six thousand years of traversing the globe with the same entity gives you a unique perspective on how to push their buttons and how hard.
For example Crowley knew it bugged Aziraphale to no end when he messed with his books, but he restricted himself to only rearranging them on the shelves. Aziraphale had refused to talk to him for nearly ten years after Crowley had accidentally, on purpose poured tea over a first edition.
Aziraphale, perhaps was not as fond of pushing Crowley's buttons. He tended to do it more by accident than intent. Still, it came as something of an outrage never the less, when Aziraphale unknowingly pressed a little too hard on one of Crowley's buttons.
It was a miserably cold winter day in merry old London. Crowley hurried down the street, jacket wrapped tight around him but offering little help to his cold blooded body. He hated English winters. Would love to just bugger off somewhere warm, but Aziraphale loved that damnable bookshop and wouldn't leave it and Crowley, well Crowley just didn't think his Angel could be left to his own devices for any length of time. He jogged the last few yards to the shop door and burst inside dramatically. Well, he thought looking around at the seemingly deserted shop. That was a waste of an entrance. He heard movement in the back room and headed over.
!!!
“What the HELL is that?” Crowley demanded as he pushed the door open and stepped inside.
“I would have thought that would have been obvious, to you?” Aziraphale replied casually, as though he didn't have a small black Adder coiled around his fore arm.
Crowley stared at him. Yes, quite, he thought. He should know better than to ask Aziraphale questions formed in the outburst section of his brain. Aziraphale could be sarcastic when he wanted to be. He knew, of course what the 'thing' was. He tried again. “What the HELL is it doing here?”
Aziraphale looked down at the little snake. “I rather think it is trying to keep warm.”
Crowley growled and pinched the bridge of his nose. Okay, own fault again. Try to be more specific. “Angel.” He began firmly. “Why are you currently allowing a random snake to use you as a heat source.” He paused, then added. “Where did you even get it?”
“Oh.” Aziraphale smiled. “I found him. In the park. It was raining and it's so very cold outside right now. I knew he shouldn't just be out slithering in this weather. So, I brought him here for a bit of a warm up.” He ran his fingers gently down the snakes back and Crowley suppressed another growl as the snake poked out its tongue to flick against his Angel's hand.
Aziraphale had never stroked HIS scales he thought grumpily and yes, maybe that was his own fault as he generally only changed into his snake form when he was annoyed with his Angel, and then he slithered off somewhere to sulk. He had always assumed that Aziraphale wouldn't like it, what with the whole apple thing he had gotten into, so it doubly riled him to see his Angel cooing softly at an interloper.
The bell above the shop door tinkled disturbing his train of thought as Aziraphale rose from his chair. He slid the sleeve of his cream sweater gently down his arm, tucking the snake's tail below the cuff and passed Crowley to enter the front of the shop. Crowley stayed in the back to, well, sulk.
Aziraphale returned a moment later carrying a large Amazon box. He plonked the box in the centre of the floor and proceeded to empty it out.
Crowley watched with barely contained outrage as Aziraphale unpacked a vivarium, heat lamp, rocks, plants and snake food. “You're planning to keep it?” He growled once Aziraphale had everything arranged in the fancy glass tank.
“Goodness, no.” Aziraphale replied. “A wild animal should never be restricted to a tank. No, I'm just going to keep the Adder comfortable until the weather improves. I can't risk harm coming to him by leaving him loose in the shop.” Aziraphale carried the tank over to his desk and fussed about plugging in the lamp and filling the food dish. He then pulled his sleeve gently back up. “What do you think, Noodle?” He asked the Adder and Crowley nearly choked on his own forked tongue at the name.
Aziraphale stuck his arm into the tank and waited as the snake slowly uncoiled from his forearm and slithered onto a rock right under the heat lamp. Aziraphale smiled and ran a finger over the snakes head. “Sleep well little Noodle.” Aziraphale cooed, removing his arm from the tank and securing the lid. Crowley by this time was seething with jealousy.
Aziraphale looked up at Crowley and smiled sweetly. He could tell that Crowley was unhappy about something. He kept huffing and glaring daggers at the little snake. Huh, Aziraphale thought, could it be that Crowley was jealous? He was snake-based himself after all. Maybe he was feeling the cold too. Of course, a heat lamp would be out of the question. Crowley would eat him for even suggesting it, but maybe there was something else he could offer. “What about you, my Danger Noodle. Would you like to come get some warmth?” He held his arms open. Crowley's jaw dropped, practically unhinging in his shock. Aziraphale was moving closer, arms still outstretched. He wrapped his arms around Crowley and the demon was immediately enveloped in warmth. Grudgingly, he slumped slightly until his cheek rested on his Angel's shoulder. His arms coming up to encircle Aziraphale, hands grasping onto the soft fabric of his sweater.
He huffed in annoyance, but wrapped himself closer to his Angel's warmth. “If you ever, even think of putting me in a tank, I'll strangle you in your sleep.”
“I don't sleep, my dear.” Aziraphale chuckled.
Crowley let his shape flow, collapsing down into his coils before wrapping himself around Aziraphale's ankle and spiralling himself upwards around his Angel's body. Aziraphale chuckled as Crowley's forked tongue tickled against his earlobe.
With his demon coiled around him, Aziraphale set about closing up the shop. He turned out all the lights, making one quick final check on Noodle before he headed upstairs to his flat for the evening, a less jealous snake coiled firmly in place around him, hissing softly as his scales were stroked by a warm hand. Now this, he could get used to Crowley thought.
Once upstairs, Aziraphale pottered about his kitchen with the ease of someone not, currently wrapped up in a six foot plus snake. Crowley had been kind enough to leave his arms free, so he was able to make tea. “Hob Nob?” He asked Crowley, whose head was resting on his shoulder.
“No thanksss.” Crowley replied. Aziraphale knew Crowley didn't enjoy eating the way he did, but he did occasionally partake of a biscuit or two, so it was only polite to check.
Tea in hand, Aziraphale made his way into the other room. He stopped, looking from the armchair down at Crowley's thick coils. “Oh dear,” He frowned. “I'm not sure we'll both fit.”
Crowley looked around the cluttered room. “Don't you have anything bigger? A ssssofa or ssssomething?”
Aziraphale shook his head slowly, but then suddenly, perked up. “There's a bed.” He pointed to a door on the other side of the room that had books stacked in front of it.
“Well, letssss ssssee it then.” Crowley hissed.
Aziraphale set down his tea and crossed the room. He pushed the stack of books aside with his foot and turned the door handle. The door swung open with a creak. He reached inside and flicked on the light.
Crowley raised his head and leaned into the bedroom. “Oh no.” He turned to look at his Angel. “No, thisss will never do. When were you lassst in here?”
Aziraphale had the decency to look embarrassed. “I don't think I've been in here in years.”
The room was piled haphazardly with books. Everywhere, a layer of dust. The bed was barely visible beneath the clutter.
“Well.” Crowley gave the snake equivalent of a shrug. “Nothing a little sssssnap can't fix.”
“Good point.” Aziraphale smiled at him and after a moments thought, snapped his fingers fixing up the room.
The bed, once unearthed was as far removed from Crowley's own bed as it was possible to get and still both be beds. It was piled with fancy pillows, a thick duvet and fleecy blankets. Crowley knew the mattress was going to be soft and squishy, just like his Angel. It was ridiculous, but it also looked and he was loathe to even think the word... cosy.
Aziraphale returned to the other room and collected his tea along with a book. He made his way back to the bedroom and stepped over beside the bed. “Come on then Danger Noodle.” He grinned. “You get in the bed, while I change into something more suitable.”
Crowley slowly uncoiled himself and slithered onto the bed, weaving his way under the duvet. Aziraphale left the room and returned shortly in a pair of cream brushed cotton pyjamas. Very cosy. He stacked the pillows so that he had something to lean back against and climbed into the bed.
Crowley waited until Aziraphale had made himself comfortable with his book, the tea within easy reach and then he slithered himself back over his Angel. Crowley didn't think he had ever been this warm before, or this comfortable. He slithered up a bit until he could look Aziraphale in the eyes. “We're sssstaying here for the resssst of winter.”
Aziraphale looked perplexed. “You're more than welcome to remain in the bed for as long as you like.”
“But...?” Crowley prompted.
“Well. I have the shop to open.” Aziraphale shrugged and Crowley wished he had an eyebrow to raise. “And there's Noodle.” Aziraphale added. “I have to check on him and feed him.”
Crowley gave a very un-snakelike huff. “Okay, Angel. Here'sss what'ssss going to happen.” He fixed Aziraphale with his best snakey glare. “You are going to put a sssssign on the door ssssaying closssed for holidayssss. Bring that Nope Rope up here and then you are going to sssstay in thissss bed with me until I ssssay otherwissse.”
Aziraphale glared back at him for a moment before sighing in defeat. “Well, if you absolutely insist.”
“I do.” Crowley nodded his snake head firmly.
“You'll have to move then.” Aziraphale gestured to where Crowley was draped on top of him.
Crowley slithered off to the other side of the bed. “Hurry it up now, Angel.”
Aziraphale climbed from the bed. “Honestly.” He huffed. “All this fuss because of a little snake.”
“Hey!” Crowley exclaimed. “I'm not little.”
Aziraphale waved his hand. “Not you. I'm talking about Noodle. I've never seen you get this jealous before and you were practically green when I was friends with Oscar Wilde.”
“I'm not jealousss.” Crowley hissed as Aziraphale left the room. Snakes can't pout but Crowley gave it a damn good try.
!!!
“You're not bringing THAT in here!” Crowley hissed angrily when Aziraphale returned to the bedroom carrying Noodle in his tank.
“For goodness sake, Crowley. You're being ridiculous.”
“Don't care.” Crowley snapped.
“You have two choices.” Aziraphale informed him sternly. “Noodle comes in here, where I can keep an eye on him from the bed. Or, I keep leaving the room to check on him. Which would you prefer my jealous serpent?”
Crowley bared his fangs. “Fine. Put it over there.” He flicked his head to the far side of the room.
Aziraphale rolled his eyes fondly but placed Noodle's tank on the floor over on the far side of the room before plugging in his lamp. He crouched down and peered into the tank. “All good.” He smiled then turned towards the bed. “Are you going to move over?” He asked Crowley who was taking up almost all of the bed.
“Hmmm.” Crowley tilted his head. He was trying to pretend he didn't want his Angel back in the bed because he was cross with him, which was just silly considering his outburst, but he was a demon after all, he had to at least pretend not to be a push over.
“Oh for goodness sake, Crowley!” Aziraphale placed a knee on the bed and leaned over. He grabbed one of Crowley's coils and lifted him out of the way, climbing onto the bed.
Crowley hissed indignantly but then slithered himself into a more comfortable position draped across Aziraphale again. “Happy now?” The Angel chuckled.
“It'll do, I sssuppossse.” Crowley replied.
Aziraphale shrugged. “Well, don't let me put you out or anything.”
“No, no. It'sss fine. I'll cope.” Crowley huffed.
“What now?” Aziraphale demanded.
“Did you happen to bring the Hob Nobsss?” Crowley asked hopefully.
Aziraphale laughed then snapped his fingers, the packet of biscuits appearing in his hand.