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1st Love - Sea
His first love came in the form of a strong and resilient sea known as Kim Nanjoon. From the moment he saw him in that dainty coffee shop he knew in his heart that he will do anything and lay down everything just to see the young boy smile, be happy and soar above all. If that meant working himself to the bone, until his voice no longer worked and his body screamed for rest then so be it, he will give until he was ash and then he will pick it up and give some more because “Hyung, Bangtan will be the best out there!”. But alas the sea is not meant to be healed in the palm of one’s hand and so Seokjin opened his palms and allowed his first love to float away from the island that was him.
2nd Love - Storm
His second love came in the form of a deep storm known as Min Yoongi. It did not came at first glance as it did with the sea, but gradually like the storm itself, small moments that build up until he was swept of his feet in a wind that threatened to pull him apart. It started with a CD given to him, “Too understand the culture better, hyung.” was what he said and he felt the slight tug but ignored it, but the gift was followed by the gift of a space where he could say his worries, a supporter that understood when things got too much, a pat on the head and a sarcastic replay to pull him up. But alas like the sea, the storm too needed to be free to run its course instead of being confined, so Seokjin locked himself in a room and listened to the winds and rain.
3rd Love - Sun
His third love came it the form of sunshine known as Jung Hoseok. It came knocking of the door of the room he locked himself in and would not take no for an answer, so with a reluctant heart he opened the door so the sun rays could grab his hand and say “Hyung, lets practice our new choreography!”. Before he knew it he fell for the sun and its warm rays, he fell for the hand that would guide him in the correct position, the happy voice that would praise him endlessly when he managed a move at first try, the hard tone that silenced others when they made fun of his routine but most importantly he fell in love with the sun boy’s ability to pick him up and make him seem more than he was. But alas like Icarus, Seokjin too flew too close and his wings burned leaving him falling back to the ground.
4th Love - Sky
His forth love came in the form of a clear sky known as Kim Taehyung. It grabbed him as he was falling, wings made of ash and bone and lowered him gently to the ground where it patted the dust, grime and tear out of him and told him in a deep voice “Hyung, you are handsome.”. And so, like a fool that does not learn a lesson no matter how much he gets hurt he fell for the sky, he fell for the way it showed him the world, he fell for the way it taught him to use the change that were meant as knifes into praises, he fell for the way it would touch him like a remainder that he was not alone and he fell for the way the boy would sing his soulful songs. But alas the sky is vast and free and so Seokjin turned its back to it and promised to look only at the ground.
5th Love – Earth
His fifth love came in the form of solid ground filled with lights, flowers and smiles known as Park Jimin. He came to him as soon as he turned his back to the sun and with a laugh that sounded like leaves rustling through a breeze he said “Hyung, come eat with me.” and again he fell deeper and deeper through a hole but this time it was different, this time he was also pulling the earth boy with him. They ate together, they joked together, they spend time just being together and he enjoyed it, he loved when the boy laughed at a joke or at a dance and so caught up in this love was he that he did not see how the earth was breaking apart, how his hand was now pulling him in the depths as well, how the boy no longer ate, how tears replaced smiles, how spending time together become spending time alone. But alas even a blind man will realize when he is doing harm and so Seokjin released the hand and pushed the earth away allowing himself to fall in the darkness even more.
6th Love – Gold
His sixth love came in the form of a golden light that threatened to blind him known as Jeon Jungkook. He came and in a swift motion dispelled the darkness that embraced him and said while grabbing his hand “Hyung, you are loved.”. But how could he believe him when the gold that the boy was made him feel more like rust, how could he when all it took for the boy to be above him was just a simple dance rehearsal, how could he when all it took for the boy to cover him was one vocal lesson, how could he when all it took for the boy to act better then him was just watching a simple drama, how could he… and yet he fell, he fell for the boys clear eyes, he fell for the boys happy smile when he did everything perfectly, he fell for the boys voice that did not held back any emotion and he fell for the boys pure heart. But alas gold can become corrupted when near rust and so Seokjin left and hid himself in a room of mirrors and masks.
7th Love – Self
His seventh love came in the form of a masked mirror known as Kim Seokjin. It came to him in the room of mirrors and mask and sat in front of him. It said in his voice “Why are you here when love is out there?” and Seokjin did not know what to answer because love was not out there, because he released and protected them from himself and from his darkness. And the masked mirror laughed and said ‘Did you protect them or did you protect yourself? Why are you so afraid to love? Why are you so afraid to be loved?” and Seokjin screamed “I’m not! I did it for them, so they could be more than what they are so they could become something even greater so they could fulfill what they wanted and more! So that my stains and ugliness and envy and self would not hold them back!” and the masked mirror looked at him with pity and said “There are no stains, no ugliness and no envy, in their eyes there is purity, innocence, beauty and talent, but the mask above your eyes, the mask you yourself are holding in place stops you from seeing the truth and gives you only distorted lies all in the name of protection.” And with a gentle hand the masked mirror grabbed Seokjin’s mask and pulled it off making his own fall as well and he felt tears fall out of his eyes and his heart beat again as the one in front was all he ever wanted to be and more. “But you are,” the mirror said “all you needed to do is to see clearly and now you do. Now get up, love is waiting for you” before the all the mirrors in the room cracked and broke and six pair of hands were grabbing him and pulling him up.
8th Love – Us
It took Kim Seokjin years before he realized that love come to him as much as he came to it. It came to him in the soft whispers of Yoongi’s voice at night when he wished him good night, it came in Jungkook’s pranks that he pulled on the set, it came in Teahyung’s wish to share everything he found with him, it came in Jimin’s laughter when he said a joke, it came in Hoseok’s claps when he did a dance routine and it came to him in Namjoon’s soft voice and hands when he would tell him about a new book or song. But most importantly it came to him all at once during the night when he was caressed by soft voices, warm hands, velvet lips and forever promises… Yes, it took him years but we will always be grateful that love did not give up on him and so he will also no longer give up on it.