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Adora opened her bedroom door and stepped into the dark hallway. She didn’t hear anything.
To her left, she could see a guard stationed maybe fifty feet away from where she stood. She headed right.
She hadn’t been able sleep. Anxiety had woken her and wouldn’t let her out of its grip. She had laid in bed a while, her mind spinning in circles and her feelings like a jumble of tangled chains. She couldn’t pick anything apart.
She wasn’t exactly sure where she was going, but had decided that getting up and walking around a little would be better than staring at the ceiling and wondering what Catra was doing tonight. Wondering who might die soon. Remembering shit from her childhood.
She had been having lots of memories lately. Stuff that would flash across her mind like a subliminal message across a screen. Quick, but lasting. She wasn’t doing well.
It was hard to talk to Glimmer and Bow, well meaning though they were. It often felt worse after she tried to explain something to them, what with their constant reassurances that she was fine now. That she could relax.
That was the thing, she couldn’t relax. Now that she was out of harms way, it occurred to her just how little she could relax. Every sound, every shadow...it could be something. When it was too quiet...trouble may be coming. She had to be on guard always. It’s what she had been taught.
Up ahead, she saw light outlining a doorway and realized that was Angella’s bedroom. She was apparently also up.
Adora headed for her door, not exactly sure what it was she wanted. She hesitated for a moment, then knocked and felt self-conscious. When the door opened, Angella appeared in the light and looked surprised at her visitor.
“Adora. Is everything all right? It’s not Glimmer, is it?” she said and worry took over her face.
“No. No, everything’s fine. I just...I couldn’t sleep and I decided to take a walk and I saw the light around your door, so I...knocked. Sorry to bother you.”
Every instinct Adora had told her that Angella would turn her away and she was stupid for knocking, but Angella smiled at her and opened the door wider.
“Come on in,” she said. “I couldn’t sleep either.”
Angella’s bedroom was easily three times as large as Adora’s, and Adora’s wasn’t exactly small. She followed Angella over to a seating area on the far side of the room.
Angella sat down in one of the chairs and put her feet up on an ottoman. On a small table next to the chair, a book had been propped open, pages down.
Adora sat in one of the other chairs, adjacent from Angella. She put her feet up on the same ottoman.
“I couldn’t believe it when Glimmer first took me to my bedroom here. I slept in a bunk bed in a huge room at the Horde,” Adora said, smiling for some reason.
Angella winced at Adora’s mention of life at the Fright Zone, but smiled compassionately right after.
“Bright Moon’s a pretty nice place,” she said and smiled knowingly.
“Yeah, it is,” Adora said, looking around the huge expanse of Angella’s bedroom.
“So couldn’t sleep, huh?”
Adora nodded and fidgeted in her chair, feeling both comfortable and embarrassed. She had never discussed personal matters much with anyone, with the exception of Catra and, even then, there were things they didn’t often talk about.
“Yeah,” she said, rubbing her neck. “I woke up and I was...anxious, and then I started thinking about all this stuff. It’s been happening more and more.”
“Mmmmmmmm,” Angella said, nodding. “Sounds reasonable considering what you’ve been through.”
At the mention of “what you’ve been through” Adora looked at her and felt pain. She wondered if Angella could see it on her face. She wasn’t sure she liked that.
“I never--at the Horde--I never had this happen, though. I would get into bed and, well, Catra--my friend--she’d be sleeping at the foot of the bed, and I would drift right off. The next thing I knew, it would be morning.”
Angella listened patiently. Adora could see concern on her face, and she didn’t like that for some reason. She didn’t want to cause anyone else distress.
“That’s the feline girl. Catra? Your friend?”
“Yeah, that’s her. She’s my--she was--my best friend.”
Adora looked down at the floor as she felt a wave of emotion overtake her. She was embarrassed to have Angella see her like this but couldn’t hold it in. Didn’t want to hold it in. She had been holding it in her whole life.
Angella moved so she sat on the edge of her chair, her feet on the floor, turning her body towards Adora. She reached out a hand and placed it on her shoulder.
“Adora. It’s hard when we lose someone close to us. And in these circumstances, I think it’s even harder.”
Adora was glad for Angella’s hand on her shoulder. It made her feel steadier. Her touch was also incredibly warm.
There was something about the warmth that made Adora want to let go. Even though she hated crying, she felt her eyes fill with tears. They began to spill over.
“I’m sorry,” Adora said, wiping her face. “I don’t want to bother you. I’m sorry I knocked, I know it’s the middle of the night, and now I’m crying in your bedroom...”
Angella stood up without a word and simply reached her arms out to Adora, who stood up as well and let herself be enveloped in them. Then the crying began in earnest.
Everything that had bothered her. Everything that she had held in. All the worries, the fears, the paranoia came out on Angella’s shoulder. That same warmth that Adora had felt from Angella’s hand now surrounded her body, making her feel like she was in a cocoon of sorts. It occurred to her suddenly that this is what having a mother felt like.
Angella held her for a moment, allowing her to cry. Finally, Adora pulled away, grateful for the embrace.
“Adora,” Angella said, putting her hands on both of Adora’s shoulders, “you’ve been through a lot. I think you should consider seeing our healer here. I think she can help you.”
Adora sniffed and nodded, taking Angella’s advice seriously, enjoying the warmth on her shoulders.
“And,” Angella continued, “don’t ever worry about knocking on my door. If you need something, you can come here.”
“Okay,” Adora said and a couple more tears fell from her eyes. In the Horde, she had always been on her own, with the exception of Catra, of course. She had never had anyone to turn to, no adults anyways.
Angella pulled her into another hug, this one shorter, then let her go.
“I’m probably going to read for a while,” she said. “You’re welcome to stay.”
Adora smiled and finally felt at ease.
“No thanks,” she said. “I’m going to try to get back to sleep. I feel much better.”
Adora started off toward the door, Angella right behind her. When she reached the door, she opened it, and turned around.
“Thanks again,” she said. “I really appreciate you letting me in here.”
“Anytime,” Angella said. “Hope you get some rest.”
Adora stepped out into the hallway and the door closed behind her. It was still dark but this time Adora was filled with gratitude and appreciation and...hope.
When she reached her bedroom door she opened it and stepped in the room. In a few strides she was at her bed and she hopped into it, pulled the blankets up over her and in a couple of minutes she was out like a light.